


Batarian Fire

by Irimsaya, shadow0246



Series: Reunited [7]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Alternate Reality, Alternate Universe, F/M, M/M, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-07
Updated: 2013-04-09
Packaged: 2017-11-20 13:57:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 21
Words: 192,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/586108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irimsaya/pseuds/Irimsaya, https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadow0246/pseuds/shadow0246
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaidan Alenko has been kidnapped and our Shepards are hunting down the kidnappers. Which leads the team into new dangers altogether, bringing up new questions they have to find answers for, including a few surprises.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Follow up directly to "[The Shelter](http://archiveofourown.org/works/585396)" and Co-written with my long time friend in crime: Irimsaya.
> 
> This piece was thought just as a piece, an idea I had one night and thought why not pursue it for Saya. In the end it took on a life of its own with many surprises. Currently the whole thing is about 200k of words. _Gasp_ , can't believe we actually wrote that much since we started it in August 2012 (after we took a break from writing). Right now we are trying to wrap it up. Yes, _try-ing_ ;).
> 
>  
> 
> Really good now to read the whole series of Reunited (or at least part one, Victory and Losses and The Shelter), otherwise this doesn't make any sense now.
> 
> \- originally written only for my friend and I as text rpg  
> \- Jase IS Commander Shepard too (and gay), but from an alternate reality (came over in ME1, Eden Prime)  
> \- additional characters we listed are covered, but main focus are our Shepards and their LIs
> 
> Characters are written by:  
> Shadow:  
> Jase (Jason) Shepard, Kaidan Alenko, Darian Salvar (original character), Dr. Arlen Novak (original character), Hilary Moreau, sometimes Joker, Hannah Shepard and sometimes Edi
> 
> Irimsaya:  
> Irimsaya "Saya" Shepard, Joker, Elaine Gemla (original character), Kaidan "Dan" Alenko, Kasumi, Miranda Lawson, Liam (original character), Liara, Dr. Chakwas, most of Hannah Shepard and Edi, sometimes Kaidan Alenko (eg: Jase and Kaidan talk, Saya writes Kaidan)
> 
>  
> 
> Regarding the Rape/Non-Con warning:  
> Well, we don't do graphical stuff so far. However the rape is being _mentioned_. Also the characters know what happened. It will happen in a chapter later on and the warning will be there then again in case people need to skip this part. 
> 
> We also discussed at length if we will write and include it or not. 
> 
> Additionally we want to point out a few other things concerning this topic:  
> We do NOT glorify it. It is cruel and extraordinary painful for a woman to be violated like this, mentally and physically. It is a bestial crime.
> 
> We are _trying_ to deal with it and try to show how it affects people. Yet I have to point that I haven't been in such a situation (luckily).
> 
> We also wish to express our utmost respect towards any crime victims, their family and relatives.
> 
>  
> 
> The Lore, the lore, the lore  
> I truly hope we got it right so far. If not, feel free to whack us over the head ;)

### Chapter One

It was late and the evening sun was already going down as the rest of the family, including the children, could hear the horses coming back.

Irimsaya smiled to herself when she heard the horses returning and, leaving the babies in Joker's care, rushed out to see her brother and husband. She stopped in her tracks when she saw only Jase returning and she stared at him in shock.

"Where's Kaidan..??"

The call back home hadn't been working. Jase had realized it when there hadn't been any answer. The omni-tool had been badly damaged as well, producing only static and garbled crap.

No one else was there to tend the horses after the ride, but at the moment they weren't on his mind, body hurting too much, nerves in his head burning, his mind still foggy.

Saya's high pitched voice penetrated his jumbled thoughts in a sharp way and Jase knew he had to give her the message. Jase fingered the first button open, flexed and shook his hands, they were still feeling numb. Then the other ones were opened, showing her his chest. Signs of battle, but the most outstanding were the knifed and bloody carvings.  


_We have him._  


They had spared him to deliver this message verbally. There was no denying though, he would have to tell the tale on how he had lost Kaidan.

Irimsaya's breathing quickened in almost a panic as she helped Jase to the house, asking one of the children to help the horses.

"Jase what happened?? Who has him??"

Jase saw Jeremy eying him from afar and at Saya's kind of order he took the horses, leading them away. Good boy he was and he was proud of him.

Somehow, he had no idea how or when they had made it there, they were in Chakwas' little medbay area with him sitting on one of the beds, piercing lights blinding their way inside his head. Jase pushed the hand a little away, he needed to tell Saya. Answer her question. Monsters, slavers? No. Pirates, terrorists. Batarians, he wanted to say, including a few other races. But what came out of his mouth made him question if she understood it or not.

All Saya really caught was the word 'Batarian' and she sank down into the nearest chair in shock. She just stared at Jase. Everyone knew Kaidan was her husband. It was no doubt because of her that he had been taken from their family. She bowed her head and covered her face with her hands.

Luckily, at least for now, Jase felt his head starting to clear and he understood Chakwas was working on getting the darn drug out of his system. 'We'll get him back,' he tried to say. Together they would find him.

Irimsaya started weeping quietly. She had thought everything had been over. That they were safe. But now she wondered if she would ever see her husband again.  


It was in the middle of the night when Jase woke up again in the med bay bed. For a moment he thought it had just been a bad dream, but the figure sitting at his bedside told him otherwise. The cold hole in his stomach was still there as he sat up with a soft groan.

"Easy there Shep." Kasumi's voice came from the shadows. "I kind of promised Joker that you would be a good boy for a change."

"Always am," Jase quietly protested, surprised to find Kasumi here. She always seemed to show up when something or someone was missing. Like Kaidan's dad. Or now Kaidan himself. Jase's head was pounding mercilessly for about a minute before it calmed down. He needed to find Kaidan. 

"Any news?"

Kasumi came out of the shadows and shook her head.

"Nothing. No demands yet, no communication, nothing. The Captain called me to see if I could help with some tracking but whoever these people are they're good at hiding. Almost as good as me."

'The Captain?' Jase wanted to ask but bit his tongue. Saya. Promotion. Right. Jase nodded. 

"Good to have you around, Kasumi." Jase nodded carefully and thought about the attack and who it had been. "Batarians, two vorcha. A krogan."

Kasumi narrowed her eyes a bit at the list. That combination of species was never good news for anyone.

"Did they know who it was they were taking? Do you think the whole thing was planned?"

'Like hell it was,' Jase mused, wondering why they had left him behind. They surely had known who he was, too. Having him act as the sole messenger was just.. a waste. Which just told him whatever quarrel they had wasn't with him per se, but letting such a chance slip by and not taking him either?

The attack had been sudden, without any warning signs, no feelings of being watched. Gas had been thrown, causing them to go down.

"Yes," Jase stated it more than answering it, "it was. They wanted Kaidan."

Kasumi shook her head a bit then rubbed her eyes.

"What is it with you two Sheps huh? You always seem to draw in trouble like magnets or something."

Jase got off the bed, wanting to find out who the batarians were and maybe he could narrow down intel on the krogan. Growling softly to himself, he wondered if this was part of a thank you for curing the genophage. At least they should be a little bit more grateful towards him and his family. Jase blinked once as he stopped and knew why he hadn't been taken. No one wanted to mess with the saviour. Everyone knew if something happened to him, there would be hell to pay by the galaxy. But taking Kaidan was okay suddenly? Messing with his sister, too? Jase snarled something in rage. They were his family, anyone messing with his family was messing with him as well.

"Has the Alliance been contacted?"

"Yep. Shep called them as soon as she was sure you were okay. They... They told her that they won't negotiate with terrorists."

Jase wanted to ask, 'They what...?!' But the words didn't come, instead he stared at her, waiting for her to tell him it was a joke. But he knew it wasn't. And Anderson? What good was he for them now? The rage in him was increasing and Jase knew he needed to save it for those responsible. Jase left Kasumi without saying another word and went to their schooling area.

'Lucky,' he thought while setting them up for a conference, 'having all those terminals is paying off.' As soon as this was done he sent Garrus, Liara, Tali and Wrex a message, marking it urgent. And then he sat down, looking at tribal markings from the batarians.

Saya slowly came into the room where Jase was, her eyes red and puffy from crying but she had been working through the night to try and find her husband.

"Jase?" She winced as her voice cracked with emotion.

Jase winced a little, afraid of seeing her somehow, of having to admit he had failed. Again, like that time after Thessia.

"Saya." His voice was rough, more than he had thought, loaded with his own emotions. "I," he started, hesitating, "I'm sorry."

Irimsaya narrowed her eyes a little at those words then went and enveloped him in a hug.

"For what? You have nothing to be sorry for. I know you would have done your damnedest - you still are. You should still be in bed."

Jase slowly relaxed. Her hugs him always set him at ease.

"Been through worse."

The headache and nausea would pass, he knew. Kaidan was more important.

"Sent a message to our friends." Jase slowly let go and sat down then at one of the terminals he'd been using. "One of the batarians had something like a tribal marking on his head. Looked like a bee."

Irimsaya frowned a little.

"A bee? That sounds familiar for some reason.."

Jase nodded, he had seen a few back in the war days on the Citadel. But those had been refugees, non violent batarians. And Jase himself had no quarrel at all with any of the batarians. Only Saya had. Jase was watching her now.

"There was also a krogan and two vorcha."

She cocked her head to one side.

"Krogan, Vorcha and Batarians working together??"

"Yeah. Surprised they haven't recruited a salarian either," Jase snarked. "Like back on Omega."

Irimsaya glanced at him then rubbed her eyes.

"Right now I don't care what species are involved. I just want Kaidan back."

"Sorry. I'm pissed off. I want to get him back, too." Jase rubbed his eyes and typed something into the terminal. "Would be a hell of a lot faster if we had Edi. Well, we have Liam," he muttered, wondering if the Geth had stored knowledge about batarians.

The bee sign was driving him crazy, knowing he had seen it somewhere, but not where. He had lent his help for those on the Citadel, but none had been wearing anything. There had been Balak, of course, but he had barely seen the batarian and years before Saya had been dealing with him.

"Had any of those batarians on Aratoht a bee like tribal mark on their head?"

Irimsaya closed her eyes for a moment while she tried to recall.

"It's.... possible. In fact very possible.."

Jase knew he was fishing for leads. The galaxy was a big place and he was the only one right now who knew something. He punched in a search for Balak, following his uneasy feeling of hardly remembering the look of the batarian. Jase narrowed his eyes at the short vid sequence on the screen. It was the same sign but it hadn't been Balak. But clearly they seemed to be connected.

"Look. Same sign." Jase told her and added quietly, "But not the same person."

"Same tribe then. I wonder... Remember when we were on the Citadel trying to gain allies? There were Vorcha there who tried to kidnap me."

Jase didn't look at her when she said this. At first he was trying to remember, hard. And yet it all was blur.

"I... am having trouble remembering.. things from that time," Jase sighed, knowing he had told their mother but not anyone else. "I don't even remember marrying Jeff. But. Don't tell him that. Just, don't tell him that. Vorcha?" Jase asked, finally looking at her. But chances were most of those on the Citadel were dead.

He should check flights, or reports on any non-scheduled flights from anywhere. Small ships, perhaps disguised as something else. Probably a transport for heaven knows what to where. And who knew, maybe they even used Kaidan's clearance, but then he doubted it, because otherwise the Alliance would have done or known something.

* * *

_Meanwhile_

Kaidan's world slowly came back into a dark focus. Something hard and cold was piercing into his lower back, making the bed he was laying on uncomfortable. He briefly wondered if it was a toy from the twins, forgotten on their bed. The tiredness was still hard to fight and the heavy eyelids refused to open.

Kaidan moved around a little, trying to find Saya's presence and comforting warmth feeling freezing cold and sick, but the space next to him was empty. The fog in his brain was persistent, burning any real clear thoughts away, not allowing him to think coherent, let alone to say something aloud.

How much time had passed before he finally pried open an eye, he couldn't say. His stomach was rolling in an extremely unpleasant way and he turned onto his side with a groan, trying not to be sick. There was no light in this room. For moments Kaidan focused on his breathing and the extreme throbbing of his head, the feeling of having gone all out with his biotics. Yeah... he had done it again. He knew it, felt it. And then he remembered.

Batarians, Vorcha, a Krogan. Jase inbetween. Their horses, running scared. Jase screaming murder, not knowing what they had done to his omni-tool, no weapons, absolutely surprised. The Krogan charging in after they had given a few batarians a good fight. Gas bombs and clouds, smoke, coughing, retching. Dizziness. Pain and darkness.

Kaidan hissed softly when he tried to sit up.

Saya.

Something else, cold and heavy, settled into his stomach, increasing the uneasiness he felt. He needed to find a way, get out of this darkness, find a way to contact Saya. Or Jase. The Alliance. Anyone. Kaidan touched the wall close by. Metal. Vibrating ever so slightly. He probably was on a ship. On the way to heaven knows where. Just then the door opened, bathing the room in incredibly white light.

"The human is awake," a gruff batarian voice said, striding towards him. Kaidan wanted to get up, overpower him, throw a stasis around the alien. But nothing worked. Instead he felt himself going limp in his mind, not a single skill working.

"Bring him to me," another voice ordered over the comm and two guards joined the first batarian, pushing Kaidan onto his feet, guns drawn, pointing at him.

He could have said something. Like, 'I'm not your enemy.' Or, 'You don't have to do this. You're committing a crime.' Or something else. But these criminals had a plan. And it wasn't anything good as they marched him out of his cell, down the corridor towards another room.

* * *

Jase looked at Saya once more, wondering if she had found anything. She didn't need to tell him how she felt and Jase didn't have to ask how she was doing. He saw it, knew it himself from experience.

Irimsaya was startled with Jase's confession of memory loss.

"Don't worry Jase - I would never tell him that. But you might want to at some point. He's smart enough to figure it out on his own and if he does he's gonna be really pissed."

She sat down at one of the terminals and started trying to find her husband, the love of her life. One of the few people she would gladly die to protect or save.

"Yeah. I will. I remember the vow, spending the night at the pool," he told her, while typing away on the terminal, "but. It doesn't feel right. I want the whole thing. Not just half of it in my memory."

Jase paused and looked at her. "We'll find him. We will, Saya." One Shepard having lost Kaidan was already enough. Jase wouldn't allow it a second time.

"Kasumi told me the Alliance refuses to help?"

Irimsaya snorted a little at those words.

"Yeah they refuse. They say it's against what they stand for. Lucky for them I wasn't standing in front of them when they said that."

"There was a time when I was proud to serve. Not anymore. They make it even harder now." Just then the terminal announced an incoming call.

"Shepard! What can I do for you, old friend?"

Jase snorted softly, a small grin playing on his face. And then Wrex saw Saya. "And there's your sister," Wrex nodded at her in greeting.

"You still on Earth, Wrex?" Jase asked, they could exchange pleasantries later. Right now there were more pressing matters to deal with.

"No. You've been a bit out of loop. Getting senile with age, huh? We're back on Tuchanka." Wrex said, clearly teasing him.

Jase snorted, shaking his head before he grew serious. "We could use your help Wrex. Batarians have kidnapped Kaidan today. Here on earth. No ransom yet."

"Batarians, you say?" Wrex sounded thoughtful, ignoring the rest of the news.

"Yeah. Including a krogan and two vorcha. Heard anything?" Jase rubbed his aching forehead, sensing the was some information to be had. And it probably wasn't something he'd like.

"There have been rumours of batarians trying to cause trouble. Seeking revenge."

Irimsaya almost fell out of her chair. She knew it. As soon as Jase told her they took him. She knew it.

"Damn it," Jase snarled, "that's not something we need."

"That's all I know, Shepard. Need help to knock some heads, let me know. I owe you more than one. If I hear more, I'll let you know."

"Thanks Wrex. Appreciate it." Jase answered before the screen went black.

Irimsaya bit her lip hard.

"Why haven't they made any demands then. Why keep us in the dark."

"I don't know," Jase answered softly. "Might be part of their plan. The way this has been set up tells me there is more to come. If they wanted him, me, dead, they could have killed us." Jase typed on his omni-tool, checking to see if it was working again.

"Damn it," Jase swore with a sigh, "they really fried it. I need a new one. I want Liam to check the flight plans around earth. Every single ship there is, flying in and out."

"I already have him working on that." Saya responded quietly. "I did more than you think when you were unconscious Jase. I had to. I needed to."

"That's... good. I'm sorry. Didn't mean to imply you've been sitting by idly. What else were you doing?"

"Well I got Kasumi here. She boarded the first shuttle when I called her, that's why she was here when you first woke up. I thought if anyone might be able to get us a lead it's her."

"Agreed," Jase answered softly, slowly sitting down again. He had a bad feeling about all of this. Even more with the Alliance leaving them alone in this.

"We might need a ship, a team. Wherever he is, we'll get him out of there and back home. Alive."

Irimsaya nodded.

"I already cancelled the Normandy's upgrades and put Edi on alert. Nobody will know we're leaving until she comes to get us."

Jase grinned a tiny bit at this. "Your pilot's on vacation too?"

"Tell me you have someone who can run this place if I steal you and Joker for this."

Jase scratched his neck. "Kelly and Terry know what they're doing. Mary and Kevin are a good addition, the kids love them. They're living in the first house, watching over the kids there."

Irimsaya smiled a bit.

"Good, hope they won't mind caring for the twins then too. I don't want to take them on this in case they become targets too."

Jase matched the smile of Saya's. "They won't. They love children."

"Good. Then I know they're in good hands. Though if we could get in touch with James maybe a little firepower here wouldn't hurt either.."

"Let's ask him." And yet it had been a thought of his, too. It was nice to see they were still thinking alike.

Irimsaya nodded and followed Jase from the room. She didn't dare tell him the panic she was beginning to feel for Kaidan's safety.

"Not sure if he agrees. He might be undergoing his N7 training." Jase mentioned. Before he was calling up James, he needed a painkiller for the murderous headache he was having. And he knew they were kind of stealing the Normandy again, just like years ago.

Just as he had swallowed down the painkiller dawn was breaking and the terminal announced another call. Liara. Jase informed her again and he saw Javik hovering around in the background.

"I will see what I can find. There have been some rumours lately but none of those hinted at something like this."

"Yeah, Wrex said about the same. Revenge."

"Wrex?" Liara smiled a little. "I have an agent in batarian space. Well, what is left of it anyway. It is quite sad actually, their population has been diminished dramatically. It does not look like their race will survive."

Jase bit down the comment on his tongue, that he wasn't interested in their problems right now, they were causing them problems.

"Well. If they want help, they have to stop kidnapping people. Or enslaving them." He pointed out.

"I agree," Liara replied softly. "I will get back to you once I have found out more."

"Thanks .... Liara," Jase replied to a black screen. People had to stop doing this. Hanging up on him when he was still talking.

Irimsaya sat down on the closest chair. Enslavement. Or worse. What could those bastards be doing to Kaidan right now.

"We have to find him Jase. We have to." Her voice was barely above that of a whisper.

"We will," Jase replied as he walked over to her, rubbing her shoulder gently. "I'll go and pack."

* * *

The Batarian captain watched as the guards escorted their prisoner to the chair in front of him and sat him down.

"Commander Alenko. Welcome. That pain in your back you're feeling? It's a device we implanted so you cannot use your biotics so there's no point in trying. You have a choice to make now and here are your options: 

"1) make a recording for your wife and tell her you're our prisoner until she arrives and then we make an exchange. 

"2) we remove your biotic implant rendering you with brain damage or dead - and I understand it's a very painful way to go. 

"Or 3) you become our permanent "guest" and never see your friends or family again. The choice is yours right now and I urge you to choose wisely."

Kaidan sat stone like on his chair, not moving an inch or showing any expression. From experience he knew batarians considered any species with less than four eyes less intelligent. And slavery was such a highly integrated part of their society, it never would be an option to talk them out of it.

The offered options made it clear how serious this was and what they actually seemed to have in mind: Saya. Getting her here.

Option two wasn't something he would go for and it also baffled him why this captain was even suggesting it. Which told Kaidan this batarian was kind of losing it, or already insane. Maybe the latter, considering he was sitting here on this chair. Asking for option one was the most favourite part, emotionally, but Kaidan understood if he did this, they would get his family.

"Option Three."

Making the recording and hinting at the upcoming trap was not a real option, as the recording itself would already state it. There was no chance to protect her then. Kaidan knew she would come. In a heartbeat and walk right into her possible death. And then their children wouldn't have their mother. Better to have a mother than a father. But from what he could tell, they wanted her and not him. Deciding for option three might buy them time. Kaidan knew it was dangerous for him, they wanted her and maybe he could get them to make some mistakes.

The batarian captain smiled at this.

"Now why am I not surprised. I hope you realize how painful this will be for you. I can't wait to hear your screams."

He motioned to one of the guards who came over and strapped Kaidan's wrists tightly to the arms of the chair he was in.

"Can't have you trying to pry out the chip after we put it in." The captain chuckled. "You will never be found - you might as well give up any hope you might have now before we take away your free will."

Kaidan now fully understood what they were going to do. Something he was going to experience first hand now and after this, they would force him to do things as they saw it fit. Rage filled his chest, he wouldn't let them allow it without a fight. If he could take out one or two batarians before they took control of him....

* * *

Jase sat on his side of their bed in their bedroom, hanging his head. Next to him was a simple suitcase, packed with a few clothes for their "trip". The armor was packed, including weapons. The new omni-tool was waiting for him, but on the Normandy.

Mitzi, Jeff's cat, hopped onto the bed and meowed, rubbing herself against his side, purring slightly. Jase only sighed quietly, closed his eyes and ignored the animal. Not even Pepper had succeeded to lighten his mood by making puppy dog eyes at him. For a moment Jase considered cutting off his hair out of sheer frustration, but decided against it. It had grown nicely and he actually liked it. For now.

Saya needed him, he knew. Needed his strength to lean onto, his presence and confidence. But Jase needed to be alone for a moment too. Where he could stop pretending and just be. Once again. Jase shook his head. 

He had lost Kaidan. 

And now the man was paying for it. They should have taken him instead, Jase mused. He was already damaged goods, but Kaidan? Kaidan was pure, hardly any scars. Kaidan was the light in the shadow for all of them, like Jeff was too. But what would happen to him now? How would this change the man?  


Irimsaya finished packing what few things she hadn't left on the Normandy then went to find Jase but was stopped when Kasumi stepped out from the shadows.

"Kasumi."

"Shep. Listen - I'm coming with you. I think when we find this ship we're looking for you'll need someone who's good at hiding to help you. And I'm that person."

"I can't let you risk yourself."

"Why not? You did it for me once, now it's time for payback. Let me help you."

"Kasumi..."

"Say no all you want. I think you'll find me on the ship no matter what words you say now."

"In that case... welcome aboard." Saya allowed herself a small smile as she shook the other woman's hand.  


Jase stood up, listening for a few seconds to the running water coming from their bathroom, knowing Jeff just took his shower. The thought of his handsome husband sitting under the stream of water made him smile a little before he turned to leave their bedroom.

There was no time to lose, they had to get Kaidan back. Fast. The more time their biotic was in the hand of the batarians the worse it could only become.

Jase left the bedroom, bumping into Saya and Kasumi and he nodded at the two women. There had to be some news from Liam by now. The geth was more than capable of tracking down anything.

"Give me some good news. Has Liam found something?"

Kasumi turned to him and nodded a bit.

"I was just about to tell the Captain here. He thinks he's located the only vessel that might have the Commander. Apparently they were cleared for launch but as they boarded their ship they told the spaceport guards that their human crewman was very drunk and partied too much. Of course the authorities did not know at that point that there had been a kidnapping."

Jase wanted to reply that those guard were dumb, not considering to check up on the human, especially when he'd been surrounded by batarians. They should have realized something was up. Instead he swallowed it down, needing facts.

"Destination?" They sure as hell would be heading towards Batarian space. About the only place where they could do as they please.

"According to Liam, they're heading right for Batarian space. Which means it will be even harder to find him." Kasumi said softly, keeping an eye on Saya in case this news distressed the other woman too much.

"Many died during the Reaper invasion. We might find many deserted planets. If we let Edi trace any energy signatures it could narrow it down." Jase said, thinking even more about it now. "What's left of their infra structure. Cities. Spaceports."

Irimsaya nodded a bit.

"If they're taking him there..." She bowed her head. "They'll make him a slave."

Jase laid his arm around her, despite feeling not like it at all. But she needed it.

"Slaves can be freed. Kelly was becoming one too. The Illusive Man seemed to have a heart several years ago. Freed her among others from the batarians, gave her a future. Doesn't mean Kaidan's one," he softly pointed out.

But when Saya looked at Jase again there was a fire in her eyes.

"Damn right it doesn't. We leave now."

Jase nodded, patting her back gently, "Let's bring Kaidan back home."

* * *

_Several hours later, in the Terminus System_

At some point in his life Kaidan had believed there was no greater pain for a head than a really bad migraine. Unless of course you knocked your head open. And yet, those unfortunate people had been treated with Medi-Gel or any other kind of anesthetics. Or simply had died.

Kaidan laid on the cold bed in the complete dark, feeling grateful for the darkness as it made the pain more bearable. Short and quick gasps of breath were coming out of his mouth, in the vain hope to control the blinding white pain of a fire. The panting barely helped, if only to focus on something else aside of the knifes cutting apart his skull.

How they had managed not to damage his implant was a miracle, but something he barely acknowledged, since the rest of his head felt aflame. Moving ever so slightly meant only more pain. The wet sticky spot below his head which felt hot and cold at the same time. The already dried blood on his hair was causing more needle like pains, the hairs acting like antennas, drilling any subtle movement into his skull like a hammer hitting a nail. Hundreds of nails.

Kaidan tried to still his hands, they were shaking so badly. If only the room would be warmer, or Saya would be there, righting his body to lessen the pain, providing him with comfort and warmth. Eyes closed, he now thought of Saya, letting her face appear in front of his closed eyes. Even as much as blinking had caused him more pain. And then there were Hilary and David, their little smiles, bright eyes. Their house and his garden. His mom and dad. The Normandy. Thoughts and pictures were jumping wildly around, back and forth, up and down, like in a wild fever dream.

'Should have chosen the first option,' Kaidan thought, starting to argue with himself. 

'No. You did right. They would have done this to her instead. Get to live to see the consequences. Jase's words. Was it right? Just tell me I did right, what if it was wrong? Focus. Saya. S. A. Y. A. Irimsaya. I. R. I. M. S. A. Y. A. Miri. Miranda. Darian. Inara. What? Who's that?' 

A soft chuckle erupted from Kaidan, causing a terrible low groan, fingers were suddenly curling tightly around the edge of his newly acquired bed and then he went still, allowing the blackness to swallow his thoughts again.

* * *

Liam strode over to them.

"Shepard-Captain. There is an incoming transmission for you."

"I'll take it right here Liam, put it up for me." Saya replied, a sick feeling forming in her stomach as she turned to the nearest terminal.

Liam went to it and pulled up the broadcast.

"It is a recording, one you cannot respond to." Liam explained as he started the playback.

Saya went pale as male screams of agony emanated from the speaker then cut off.

"Kaidan..."

"Mute it!" Jase yelled at their geth. "Trace the signal."

Irimsaya fell onto her knees on the floor as Liam began working on a trace.

"Kaidan..." Her voice cracked with emotion. "What are they doing to you..."

Jase scrubbed his head before he got Saya up and took her to the couch, making her sit down on it. The soft purring sound of Liam could be heard as he was tracing it, his lights flashing ever so slightly. Jase wanted to call up Wrex again, now really pissed off and was snarling at his broken omni-tool.

"Shepard-Commander," Liam announced, "origin detected. Warning: the transmission implies a 50% chance of disguising its origin. Addendum: 65% chance. Do you wish me to forward you the results?"

"Send everything to Edi. Origin?" Jase ordered.

"The data implies the Omega Nebula."

"The other possible origin?"

"Kite's Nest."

Jase looked at Saya. Would they really go back to their homeworld?

Irimsaya frowned, trying to concentrate, but hearing Kaidan's screams had really shaken her.

"Think it through. They would expect us to think they wouldn't go home. Which means they're going home."

"Omega Nebula, back up by the mercs. Omega itself. Aria would know something," Jase said, thinking of Aria. The asari was creepy, always undressing him. Sometimes he wondered if she was asking him to have sex with her or just pulling his leg. If she was pulling his leg only she really did it well. 

"I can ask her," he offered.

Irimsaya rubbed her eyes.

"We can't go to both places. I can't think... "

Jase nodded and disappeared. If she was being creepy he didn't want Saya or anyone else to know.

About fifteen minutes later Jase came back. "Well. Two weeks ago a few batarians left Omega under the lead of a Captain Ten'kha. They haven't returned since. Got a picture of him, he's our man."

"Then that's who we're going after. But the question is what direction to take."

Irimsaya rubbed her eyes, Kaidan's screams still echoing in her ears.

Jase nodded, knowing she had been right. "The homeworld system. Aria's got the Omega system covered for us. Any news, she lets us know."

"Then let's go. I... I can't get his screams out of my head. I need to find him."

"Agreed." He held out his hand for her to take it, knowing it will haunt her, including in her dreams. "Liam," Jase turned to their geth, "I want you and Miranda watching over the house, protecting the people living here. Anything unsual, inform me."

Jase let Kasumi take over and he went back to Jeff, giving him a hand. "Ready to fly your baby?"

Joker turned and looked at him.

"Damn right I am if it means getting our family back together."

"Yeah. Kaidan's the world for her. And I... Well. I know what she's going through." Jase paused, pulling an angry face. "Bastards! If I get my hands on them....!"

"Oh trust me there's a line-up forming for that. I think Saya's first, then Kasumi wanted a go, Liam showed some interest, I want to but I might break something, Edi plans to rip them limb from limb..." Joker counted on his fingers as he said the names.

Jase turned his head slightly, watching him. With every finger the small grin grew and he shook his head eventually. 

"I get it," he chuckled a little, "I'm the last one." Jase sighed then, long and deep, relaxing, and gave Jeff a quick kiss before helping him downstairs. "Lucky to have you."

"I feel the same way." Joker looked around. "Let's get to our ship and get our boy back."

Jase gave him a sharp nod.


	2. Chapter Two

### Chapter Two

Some time later, Jase was wandering the Normandy. It was weird to be back on the ship. Felt like a lifetime ago. Or like he was reliving memories from another life. In a way it was true, since most of the time he had spent on this ship was before the war had ended. Now that they were actually living in peace like they had before the Reapers, or Eden Prime. 

It felt different. Like his very old, now non existent life and past of his. The Normandy stood for war, Reapers, death and loss. And now? It was becoming a new world, filled with old memories, some of them blurred, mixed together with an urgent rescue mission for Kaidan.

The memorial wall was still there. A few names had been added to it and Jase still wished he could rip the darn thing out of this ship while walking past it to enter the room where Kaidan often had been. Where they had the discussion after Mars, him confessing still feeling love for Kaidan.

Jase snorted softly as he sat down, watching the stars flying by. Things had changed. He had changed. The feelings for Kaidan had.. changed. Thanks to Cortez. The feelings of love had transformed into genuine 'I care about you' feelings, like the one he had for Saya. Or their mother. Even the twins. Family. 

'So that's what you feel when loving family,' Jase thought, knowing he was a very late bloomer. Nearly 33 and just now figuring this out.

Kaidan was out there, somewhere, suffering. Screaming. Hurting.

Jase blinked, the sounds of the screams echoing in his mind. They were getting him back home. As a team. And yet the pang of feelings rushing over him through his mind and body, where hard to explain. A restlessness, upsetting him, telling him he still didn't really belong here. An outsider, a small bubble hovering around the bigger one, trying to get into the other bubble but failing. Jase rubbed his face, feeling a little frustrated. Four years and he still missed his people. And the stars would probably look the same in his galaxy, pretending to be untouched, but heavily scared underneath. His galaxy was a mass grave, like this one here had been 50.000 years ago.

There was a heavy groan coming from his lips as Jase rubbed his racing heart, trying to calm it down. He stood up, leaving the room. Went to the forward battery. 

Empty. 

Garrus had filled this spot nicely. The turian had been very upset to learn about Kaidan's abduction and had offered help. Though Jase told him they were already en route. Jase walked back. Through the windows of the med bay he watched the Normandy's new Doctor for a minute. The man looked young, but from the way he held himself Jase figured he knew what he was doing. His feet brought him down to the Cargo hold.

After a chat with Cortez Jase's eyes rested on where James used to be. Part of him was upset their friend couldn't join. Instead Wrex had offered to come along. Jase snorted, remembering Bakara telling Wrex off off screen, suggesting to send Grunt instead. The help was gladly accepted when they picked him up. A heavy hitter like Grunt could punch a decent dent into their lines. The spot where James used to be came back into Jase's focus, it was completely empty now. Sophie suddenly nudged his left leg from behind, surprising him.

"Hey there," Jase said, bending down to pat the mech dog.

Then he went back upstairs. Destination unknown. On the way, Jase tried to remember. Most of the memories he had from the time of the war was talking to Saya. Carrying Jeff upstairs. His fish. Hamster. The screen in his cabin, plastered with sheets, numbers and more. Datapads piled up. The talk with Kaidan. Meeting Wrex and the Dalatrass on the Normandy. Then yelling at Wrex on Tuchanka that there was a Reaper in his way. Losing Mordin. Legion. Thessia.

Jase wanted to go to Jeff, tell him. Confess. They had time until they hit the system. But there was Saya. Alone and scared. He stopped and hit the comm. "Captain, got a minute to talk?"

Irimsaya had been sitting on the bed she shared with Kaidan, lost in memories, when Jase's voice punched into her thoughts over the comm. She moved her hand to the switch, hesitated for a moment, then clicked it.

"I do. Come on up."

Jase quietly went to the elevator and punched the panel to ride up to her quarter. He knocked once before he entered her cabin, taking careful steps to reach her.

"Hey," he said, while kneeling down in front of her. "How you holding up?"

Saya shook her head a bit, knowing he was the only other person besides Kaidan she could truly confide in.

"Not good Jase. I feel... I feel like I'm shattered inside."

No real words were needed and Jase just nodded, watching her. Shattered and broken, just the outside intact, pretending. Jase patted her knee and held out his other hand, in case she needed a hug.

Irimsaya nearly fell into his arms, weeping quietly.

"I need him back.." She whispered in his ear. "And I will do *anything* to make that happen."

"I promise, I'll do what I can." Jase said quietly, rubbing her back and kissed her head a little.

Irimsaya closed her eyes for a moment.

"Jase - if you can get him out then do it.... especially if I can't."

"No one's going to be left behind. Got that? We'll go back home together. As a family. Intact." No way in hell he'd leave her behind. Getting Kaidan out, yes. But they needed each other. "Your kids need you."

"I know they do." She answered softly and gently pulled back so she could look at him. "But if the only way to save him is to sacrifice myself you have to know I'll do it."

"No," Jase shook his head. "No. You don't know what it's like to grow up without parents. Strangers telling you 'Sorry sweetie, your parents are dead.' No Saya, you're going back home. With your husband. I'll see to that myself."

Irimsaya leaned in and kissed his cheek gently.

"You're the best brother anyone could ask for. Just remember - we'll probably have to use me as bait anyway if only to make them tell us where Kaidan is."

Jase closed his eyes, enjoying the contact. It was so easy to love her like this. For a short time she could take all his worry away with such a single and simple gesture, it was amazing.

"Yeah. Kasumi said she could get me a cloak too. Been tinkering around with my new omni-tool. Upgraded the cryo to an area blast." Jase actually chuckled. When he had been trying it out on the bottles, it looked like a new ice age had hit them.

Irimsaya smiled a bit then gently stroked his hair.

"You're getting shaggy..."

"Shaggy?" Jase looked at her, amusement in his eyes. "Admit it, you like the look," he grinned a little. "Don't order me to shave it off...," he nearly pleaded.

"Mmmh.... nah I would never do that to you. Just don't let the admiralty see you like that.."

"They won't." Jase fingered his hair a bit, the last cut had been more than five weeks ago and well, Saya was right. The sides were getting long and tickled his ears. Once they were back home he would have to get it cut.

Irimsaya stood up and breathed a heavy sigh.

"I can't help wondering what they're doing to him. Why was he screaming so much."

When she stood up Jase felt like coming off a drug for a second. It baffled him as he watched her walking around. Jase guessed, assumed something. And it wasn't anything good.

Irimsaya stopped and leaned her forehead against the fish tank.

"How long will they keep him alive?" She whispered.

Jase blinked a little in thought and stood up, walking to her. He laid his hand onto her shoulder. "Saya. Don't torture yourself with such thoughts."

"How can I not Jase? These Batarians don't care about him - I give 10 to 1 odds they're after me because I had to destroy that damned system."

"You and me both know that's probably the reason. Just don't torture yourself with the question of how much time he has left. We'll find him as fast as we can."

Irimsaya nodded silently, closing her eyes.

Jase sighed deeply, massaging her shoulder gently. "Trust me. Please. Don't think like that."

"I'm trying Jase, god knows I'm trying. I just need him in my arms again."

Jase was about to reply something when Edi's voice spoke up. "Commander, Aria T'Loak is requesting to speak with you."

"What does the devil want now...," Jase groaned, rubbing his forehead. "Put her through, Edi."

"It is a video transmission Commander."

Jase glanced at Saya. Time was of essence. Every minute counted. "I'll take it in the Captain's quarter." Jase motioned something to Saya, begging her to stay out of sight. Then the screen flared into life.

"Shepard," came Aria's voice, purring already in such an unpleasant way it caused Jase's hair to stand up on his neck. She really knew how to play him. "I have some important information. What is it worth it to you?"

Jase rolled his eyes a little and crossed his arms. "Define important. Important as in getting a destination?"

"It might be a little bit more than a destination. It comes with a price though."

"Ugh," Jase sighed. "What is it this time."

"When you ask me like this, how about the whole thing? Not just some flexing and your naked chest."

"Oh come on! You've got to be kidding!"

"If I was kidding we wouldn't be talking anymore. Or we would be in bed, together."

"You know damn well you're not...,"

Aria rolled her eyes, "Your type. You really know how to make me feel flattered, Shepard." She leaned forward, half snarling, "Do we have a deal or not?"

There was a growl on his lips and the eyes were piercing into Aria's when he got rid of his clothes.

"If I ever find any pics of myself on the extranet...," Jase threatened.

"You really need to loosen up Shepard. You wouldn't just find them. I'd make a profit with them." Aria brought up her omni-tool, hitting a few keys.

Jase was quietly surprised she sent it herself instead of ordering one of her minions.

"I just transmitted you my findings. As always, it's been a pleasure doing business with you." And then the screen went dark, giving free the sight of the cabin and Jase's eyes found Saya's.

Saya's eyebrows couldn't go any higher if she tried.

"Are you seriously nearly naked in my cabin?? And for *her*??"

"Not for her," Jase protested, hastily typing away on his omni-tool to bring up the file Aria had just sent him. "For you and Kaidan."

Irimsaya went to him and kissed his cheek again.

"What did she send?"

Then the file was transferred onto Saya's screen, showing a ship's signature and its travel route, including the final destination. And more. Jase quickly got dressed.

"Edi, give this information to Joker and set a course immediately!" Saya all but yelled at their AI.

"Yes Shepard, I have already done so in anticipation of your request. We are already en route. Jeff is nothing if not efficient."

"Joker? Efficient?" Saya looked at Jase. "Since when?"

Jase raised his eyebrows at her. He hadn't been watching it, had he? "He wants Kaidan back, too. I.. er.. better go and see Joker on the bridge.

Irimsaya nodded and walked with him.

"We do this together. *We* will go to the bridge."

"Yeah. Alright." Jase fidgeted a little and went with her.

"God damn it. I haven't been this nervous since... marrying him." Jase whispered before the door to the cockpit opened.

"Jeff?"

"Yoooo? What's up? We're on course for the coordinates Edi gave me. Everything okay with you two?"

Jase nearly sighed in relief but knew at some point he had to confess. Right now he just went to stand behind his seat, removed Jeff's hat, ruffled his hair gently and then gave it a kiss.

"Been missing you. Yeah we're fine. ETA?"

"Here's the surprise of a lifetime for you. We're only 10 minutes out since we were heading that way to begin with."

"The homeworld system. You were right, Saya." Jase checked the file again, pulling up the crew list and layout of the ship. Aria hadn't been messing with him, it was a lot more than just a destination. "I want us to meet in the conference room to assemble the crew. Edi, scan their ship. Jeff, keep us hidden." Jase knew he would, knew they wouldn't see them as they could run silent for a good long time.

"Scan in progress Commander Shepard. I am not detecting any human lifesigns."

"What??" Saya stopped in her tracks, her eyes wide.

"Scan it again Edi. Could they disguise any human's life signals?"

"The possibility exists but is highly unlikely. I will run the scans again."

Irimsaya was gripping the nearest console to keep herself standing. He had to be there. He had to be.

"Check the numbers of life signs, compare them to our file." Jase scrubbed his face. If there was just one more on the ship, it could be possible and it was Kaidan. "We need Kasumi."

"To hell with it. I want to communicate with that ship and arrange a deal." Irimsaya snarled.

Jase grabbed Saya by the arm. "If you do that... If that is the wrong ship...," he didn't say anything more. "Edi? Anything?"

"Nothing Commander. However I am detecting minute traces of human DNA."

"Blood." Joker said quietly.

"Yes Jeff."

Irimsaya closed her eyes and clenched her fists.

Jase was trying hard to keep a cool head, resulting in getting the headache back. "Edi, I want an overlay of any life signs you found on that ship, put it over the map we have from Aria. Include the trace of human DNA. Send everything to the conference room." 

Jase turned and started striding away to the conference room. Then he hit the comm, talking to the crew while walking.

"Normandy-crew. This is Commander Shepard. Commander Alenko has been kidnapped and is being held hostage on the batarian ship we just scanned. We are attempting a rescue mission. Everyone involved risks a court-martial."

His voice changed from hard to compassionate. "We understand if you don't want to participate. Your protest will be noted and respected. Captain Shepard-Alenko and I will take full responsibility for this mission. Anyone else who wishes to assist, come to the conference room. Shepard out."

Irimsaya was surprised when her brother took charge. But she was also grateful. It was no surprise to her though that when they arrived at the conference room the whole crew was already jammed inside. Except for Joker who was listening on the comms from the bridge.

There was a small smile tucking on his face when Jase took in the sight of the familiar faces and new ones. People were still joining and he waited until the door finally had stopped beeping. That annoying thing was still built in. It was way too cramped and Jase thought he should have called them to the war room instead. But they were here and wanted to help.

Mentally, Jase was scratching his head in thought on how to do this best. A distraction would be good and beneficial, including two small teams infiltrating from different areas, working their way to the human DNA.

When the ship appeared on the screen and Edi put the scans as overlay over it, they saw it held more people than the accounted crew. Which could hint at more enemies, or more prisoners.

"Edi, are there only batarians on this ship?"

"Scans indicate the crew consists mostly of batarians. However, there are also two Vorcha, one Krogan, two Salarian, three Asari and a Turian lifesign."

Jase nodded. 'Must be more than the crew.'

"Show us the batarian crew Edi." The dots on the overlay blinked and Jase used the panel on the table to adjust their color to red.

"Include the Krogan's lifesign." It flashed and Jase nodded, close to the batarians. "Add the Vorcha's," he ordered, guessing where they were going to end up. There were a few dots posted somewhere, in an order which suggested these would be guards.

"Add the Asari." As soon as they flashed up Jase marked them blue. Each Asari appeared to have a guard. 

"Add the turian and salarian lifesigns," Jase told Edi while looking at Saya, guessing where those ended up. 

"Add the human DNA."

Irimsaya tried to keep her face composed but knew it wasn't working very well. Every time she heard the word DNA it made her cringe and fear the worst.

"I will lead the first team. Edi, I want you with me. We're going to give them one hell of a fight while the second team goes in from the other side to see if the Commander is there." Saya's eyes met Jase's. "I want you in charge of that team Jase."

Jase nodded and was about to add something when the doctor spoke up. "Captain, Commander. I should come with you. Commander Alenko might be in need of medical assistance."

Jase nodded a little bit. Three people in the squad would do, but what training did he have? 

"Doctor Novak, we're infiltrating," Jase pointed out.

The doctor spoke up again, "That's not a problam sir, I'm a trained infiltrator, too."

"Welcome to the team, Doctor." Jase raised his eyebrows, looking at Saya quickly. Interesting to have a doctor who was also an infiltrator, she seemed to have some good people on this ship. 

"Before we leave," Jase started again, "this is NOT a suicide mission. I want everyone to understand this. We go in, free Commander Alenko and whoever else needs our help, and leave. Disable any systems you deem necessary. Edi, I want you to hack into their system, sabotage their sensors, cause a diversion. Kasumi will disable systems with me. Full armour is advised. The batarian might use gas grenades, resulting in severe headaches, dizziness, nausea and vomiting. Suggestions, questions?"

"Perhaps wearing your entire armour set - including your helmets and breathing masks- is advisable." Edi spoke up, looking at Jase. "This way the gas is least likely to have any harmful effects on anyone."

"Agreed." Saya stated. "*Full* armour to those going onto that ship. Everyone else... be ready for anything."

"That's what I meant, Edi." Jase smiled a little at her before he took another good long look at the map, memorizing the ship's layout. He was aware it would be on his HUD too, but Jase knew from experience it was good to remember where to go. Jase dismissed the crew and then caught Saya's arm before she left.

"Take Grunt with you."

Saya looked at him then nodded a bit.

"Alright, I will. It'll be good to have him at my back again."

Jase nodded. "Let's get this started."  


Jase was pacing the space behind Jeff's chair, trying to still his hands. Edi sat on her usual place, busily breaking into the batarian's system to disable their sensors, allowing the Normandy to dock at their ship. If Jase hadn't known their AI any better, he would have said she was day dreaming. Out of the corner of his eye Jase saw Kasumi and the doctor waiting at the airlock. The ground started to vibrate and Jase felt the heavy steps of Grunt before the door opened, revealing the heavy krogan and Saya.

Saya finished fastening her helmet into place then met Jase's eyes again.

"Radio me the second you find him - please... and tell me he's okay."

"I will," Jase promised her, before going to Jeff. His husband was going to be the voice in his ear once again and Jase knew he needed it to keep his focus. Had he ever kissed Jeff before leaving for a mission? The question was on his mind but without an answer, drawing once again a blank. Jase bent down, kissing Jeff, before his helmet was set in place and the eyes were still on his husband. "I'll be fine. We'll be fine," he told him quietly.

Edi was standing up, joining Saya at the door. "I have caused a significant amount of mishap. The batarians appear to be.. very busy."

"Ready to dock?" Jase asked Jeff, knowing they had to go first, disabling more systems before reaching Kaidan and any of the other prisoners.

"Ready, willing and oh so able." Joker answered, trying to mask his own worry at once more being separated from Jase.

Jase blinked, allowing a sly smile to cross his face. This sentence had more meanings than just one. "I am too," he answered. Then he felt nothing but an extreme soft nudge coming from the ship, heard the hiss and the airlock opened. 

"Good work Jeff, I see you haven't lost your touch," Jase said, walking forward into the other ship.

After Kasumi successfully hacked the doors they opened, giving free the path to the holding cells. A hand on his shoulder made him stop and he nodded at Kasumi in understanding, having nearly forgotten about the newly acquired cloak. Jase activated it, watching how his armour suddenly blended into his surroundings. 

"Neat," he whispered, gun drawn and pointing ahead, checking every corner.

They could hear voices, muttering, snarling in anger, giving harsh orders. 'Edi must have done a number,' Jase thought, wondering what exactly she had done. Maybe she transferred more explicit images? This would have given them away though and Jase figured she had done something else. The nudge from Kasumi caused him to look at one of the now accessible panels. Jase couldn't hide his grin, Edi had fed the ship with geth data.

Irimsaya walked slowly, leading Edi and Grunt into the ship. She knew if they recognized her then it would be even harder to get out alive. But she would do anything to save Kaidan.

"Let's crack some skulls." Saya said and primed her rifle, hearing Grunt laugh in anticipation.  


Sweat trickled down Jase's face and spine. He had problems to keep his pistol steady in his hands. By now they had sabotaged quite a few systems, including the energy supplies for the holding cells. There were more than 10 cells on this ship and Jase knew what they were for. They had snuck past a few guards, taking them down quietly and had tucked them away in dark corners, hoping no one would find them. The Doctor had proven himself already too and Jase knew Saya was lucky to have him on board. In a way he reminded him a bit of Mordin, able to carry a gun and save a life if needed.

The first holding cell they pried open revealed the first asari. She was in bad shape, but still alive. Doctor Novak quickly checked her over, helping her as best as he could.

Jase leaned down, looking into her face which he could barely make out in the darkness. "It's alright, we're here to help. Stay calm and quiet, we'll get you out of here. Have you seen a human?"

The asari shook her head no. "They keep us separated," she whispered, barely understandable.

Jase snuck past the next guard, took his combat knife and cut the batarian's throat from behind. His heart was racing away madly when the blood spilled over his gloved hands and the alien took its last gurgled breath. The body quietly slid down and Jase dragged it away. From far away they could hear gunfire and Jase knew they needed to hurry, Saya, Edi and Grunt were on it.

"Captain, what's your status?" Jase radioed Saya, prying open the next holding cell. Once the flashlight was turned on he saw a dead asari lying in it. Briefly closing his eyes he closed the door and moved on with his team. Around the corner was the cell supposed to have human DNA.

"Under heavy fire!" Saya yelled back at Jase. "We need to hurry this up Jase! They're pulling all guards and crew to our location. They know who I am!"

"Understood! Double time it, people!" Jase motioned to the Doctor and Kasumi.

Jase paused for a mili second as they rounded the door, there were two guards in front of it. That alone told him whoever was inside was still alive. Being fed up with sneaking around the whole time, he went close, still using the cloak, sent out his combat drone and area shocked the guards, punching the first in the gut and face. He saw the flash of Kasumi going past him, taking out the second. In that moment he finally used his area cryo freeze. It snapped out and the guards laid frozen at their feet. Jase sent a fireball onto one of them causing an explosion of ice, taking down the second guard with it. Jase shrugged while muttering, "Could get used to that."

Doctor Novak was already on the door to shove it open. "In here, Commander!"

"Kasumi, watch the corridor," Jase ordered her, rushing into the darkness. The only light was the one on his pistol. "Jesus.. Kaidan...!"

"We have to get him out of here, Commander. Fast. He's in bad shape." Doctor Novak was already working on his Commander, doing what he could given the circumstances.

"Agreed." Jase's mind was racing. Was the way still free they had come in? He needed to go with them, but also had to rush to Saya. Providing her with a backup.

"We have Kaidan. Bringing him to the Normandy!" Jase quickly radioed Saya. And then he was already talking to Jeff, while picking up Kaidan, carrying him. "Have a stretcher and armed forces at the airlock. Send a few inside. Saya's under heavy fire. I need to get to her asap!"

Irimsaya closed her eyes briefly when she heard Jase's voice over the comms saying they found Kaidan.

"Grunt, Edi, EVAC NOW!" She turned behind her team, watching the pair begin their retreat, when she was suddenly pulled back and was face to face with the Batarian captain.

There were more prisoners on this ship. Jase knew it and everyone else too. Doctor Novak had reached the airlock and Jase had handed Kaidan over, leaving him in the good care of the man. Kasumi was still at his side and he nodded at her to take care of the other cells. There were some more batarians waiting for him.

The combat knife was there, dirty and bloody. Gripping his gun tightly he wound up any strayed batarians, taking them out. And then he heard the voice.

That voice.

Blood started to boil in his veins, vision going red in a haze of hatred and anger. It took everything of his will not to run amok and slaughter the batarian right away.

They had Saya. Jase activated his cloak, closed his eyes and focused on breathing. Listening. Convincing himself not to kill but to bring these to justice, if possible. So much harder than just killing them. Then he opened his eyes again. Watching.

The pack was there, the two Vorcha, that one Krogan and their boss. Ten'Kha. Jase figured they had taken down the others nicely, lessening their numbers. But this stand off had been their original goal obviously. And where was Balak, was he involved with this? What if he wasn't? What if he was?

The rushing noise in his ears was making it hard to understand what they were saying. They were talking, Saya answering back. There was another voice in his helmet, barely registering it as Jeff's. Was he talking to him? He'd heard his name. Could Saya see him? Did she know he was here, waiting?

Grunt looked like ready to tackle the Krogan and Edi, what was she thinking? Considering to take down the Vorcha? They were vicious little bastards, regenerating health faster than anyone else. He would have to freeze them, incapacitating them.

There was a flicker of movement at his side and Jase nodded at Kasumi. She was back. Which meant the prisoners were taken care off. He followed her gaze, seeing armed people hovering in the background.

Their own people from the Normandy.

The odds were in their favour, in numbers. But that batarian captain had Saya, making it easy for the monster to kill his sister. His family. Himself. She was him. He was her. No. Not again. They took Kaidan. Away from him. From her.

Irimsaya stared at the batarian captain before realizing he had her arm in a tight grip and one of the Vorcha had disarmed her. She vaguely heard Edi and Grunt calling out to her as her anger rushed up inside her. But she was trapped between the Vorcha, the Krogan and the captain. The man who had hurt her husband. The man who had taken him from her.

"Shepard. Welcome to your new home." The captain smiled.

"Yeah, that's really not happening." Her anger coloured her voice and she knew that the others on the comms could hear everything - until the Vorcha removed her helmet. She swore to herself as her head became exposed.

"I beg to differ." He laughed. "Your enslavement will be our final victory against you."

"Again, so not happening."

"As you think." He nodded to the Krogan who grabbed Saya tightly in his arms. The Vorcha kept themselves between Grunt and Edi, blocking their way to save their Captain and friend. "Hold her steady, time for her to be implanted."

Jase gave Kasumi the signal to advance and he pressed forward, from behind, going behind the batarian's back, striking from the shadow and safety of the cloak. The heavy boot went into the back of the alien's knees, causing him to do down. The additional snap freeze froze the Vorchas, that much he saw, including the batarian who suddenly felt very cold under his hands. Jase kneed him into the kidneys before he hurled him around to kneel on him, took one good look at the Captain's face and his fist connected heavily with the side of the batarian's face.

"You are NOT going to hurt her!" Jase yelled at him, giving the face a second punch.

"Jase!" Saya went to him, her left arm hanging limply at her side having been broken in several places by the Krogan as she freed herself. 

But then she stopped and stared at the Captain, seeing that he wasn't going to give up on taking her family apart. Her eyes narrowed and she picked up her fallen rifle then pointed it at the Batarian's head.

"For my husband."

She pulled the trigger.

The shot rang in his ears despite his helmet and the batarian went limp under his knees. Jase looked up at Saya. Their eyes locked for a few seconds before his focus was drawn away, resting on Grunt. Their krogan friend was taking out the hostile Krogan. The two Vorcha lay dead on the floor. He wanted to rip his helmet off, but knew if he did, all he could smell would be blood and death.

"Any survivors?" Jase asked, nodding towards the pirates.

"Only 5 of the enemy remain alive." Edi replied, her eyes on Saya. "The Captain is wounded."

"I'm fine Edi."

"Your arm appears broken in at least 4 places."

Jase's eyes flickered over to Saya's arm when he got off the dead Captain. "Arrest them. For now."

He took in the sight around them, the mess and everything before he radioed Jeff, out of habit. 

"Normandy, ship's been secured. We have five prisoners." 

Then he went to Saya, hands carefully going to her arm. "Medi-Gel kicked in?"

Saya's mind was a bit numb, she hadn't even felt the pain until Jase asked about the medi-gel.

"Huh? Oh... yeah... yeah it has. Kaidan?"

"On the Normandy. Your doc's taking care of him. Come on, let's get you to him."

"But he's alive? Please tell me he's going to be okay. I need to know Jase!"

"He's alive. Doc Novak knows more. Come on Saya." Jase glanced at Grunt, wondering if he was up for a sparring session later. But first he had to get everything sorted and Saya to the doctor, prisoners settled down in the Normandy. God. Write a report possibly as well. An inner growl erupted deep down in his mind, threatening to become vocal.

"Come on sis, Kaidan needs you at his side."

Saya nodded and rushed with Jase and the others to where the Normandy was waiting. She couldn't wait to see Kaidan.  


When Jase was finally done and the Normandy back on the way to Tuchanka, he hunted down Grunt and had a long exhausting sparring session with him. Which resulted in at least one bruised rib. He didn't go to the med bay though, instead he went to his old quarter, took a long hot shower and occupied the couch for a while, wishing the old bar was still filled. 

Getting tired very fast of being alone Jase left their quarter. Tthe only other place he wanted to be was at Jeff's side. When he reached the cockpit Jase saw the chair was still busy with Edi though and he only had to say her name once. The AI stood up, claiming she had some important other places to be.  


Doctor Arlen Novak was busy, the med bay was cramped up with people needing his help. He glanced at them from time to time while working on his Commander, making sure they were alright. The two asari were cared for and asleep while the turian male stood silently guard, claiming to be fine after the examination.

Arlen scanned the Commander a second time, having just removed the implant in his lower back. It had started to cause an infection. There was the now familiar noise of the med bay door opening and Arlen had no reason to turn around and see who it was. He knew the sound of her foot steps, heard the tiredness in them as well.

"Captain. I can't give you a full report yet on your husband's injuries. Right now I'm fighting a local infection, caused by an implant. I'm sorry for that, ma'am."

Irimsaya was watching Kaidan's face silently for a minute before turning to Novak.

"He'll be okay though right?"

"Yes, he's stable for now," he answered softly, "I removed the implant in his back, but not the one in his skull. I," he stopped, turning towards her. "Jeez, Captain. What happened to your arm?" He didn't even wait for an answer before he scanned the broken bone with his omni-tool, it was showing several red dots on the hologram. "Sit," he ordered, bringing over his own chair for her. "I'll.. fix you up. Whatever. Repair that bone. Ma'am. It'll be fine in no time."

"I don't care about my god damned arm! Help my husband!"

'Right,' he thought, 'keep your mouth shut. Just fix the arm. Before she hits you.' The turian was glancing at them and one of the asari woke up, studying her before she turned around, trying to get comfortable once again.

Arlen turned back to Kaidan, studying the face for a second and before she could accuse him of staring at her husband for way too long, he went back to work. Cleaned the cuts once again, adjusted the medication, scanned the implant, the biotic implant. He frowned, pulling up Kaidan's health reports. "Has the Commander been having problems with his implant lately?"

"What? No, not that I'm aware of... why?" Irimsaya stood up from the chair and moved to Kaidan's other side, gently taking his hand in her good one.

"The area around it is swollen. If I had to guess, it could also be caused by trying to use his biotics. The implant in his back suppressed them." He scanned the implant again, thinking hard and then he nodded.

"Can only be this. Why else would it be swollen," he muttered to himself. "He's running a mild fever too. I'm adjusting his medication, he needs fluids."

Irimsaya raised her eyebrows at the doctor's words.

"You won't have to remove the implant will you? The biotic one I mean?"

Arlen shook his head a very little. There was no need to. The implant causing it had been removed. 

"He was trying to start an engine, running it raw. He shouldn't try to use his biotics for a few days, at least. Might be suffering from additional headaches too, even migraines. Aah..," he stopped, watching her, he hadn't answered her question yet. "No ma'am. Of course not. The control chip has to go though."

"Control chip? Are...did they try to enslave him??"

"Yes," he looked at her, having a sad expression on his face. "Yes, they did. Not just trying, they actually did."

Saya sank back down into her chair in shock.

"Will... will he be the same man?"

She'd never known anyone except Kelly who had nearly been a slave and had no idea what the woman had been like before that. No idea if she had changed because of the implants she'd been forced to have.

Arlen was watching Kaidan for some time until he looked back at her. 

"It hasn't been in him for long. A few days, unlike others who had to live with it all their live, or years. It might have changed him, caused by the experience of having it implanted. I'll get it out."

Saya moved her hand from Kaidan's and grabbed the doc's.

"If it's in his skull - is it safe to remove it?? There won't be any brain damage will there??"

Her worry for Kaidan was so great it was making her feel nauseous.

"Aah...," he looked at her hand on his, knowing why she did it. People had this annoying tendency to get physical when they were scared for their loved ones. Arlen carefully removed the hand, laying hers onto the Commanders.

"The problem I see is the following: I have to be extremely careful while removing it. It's located close to the biotic implant. Please allow me.. to.. scan it," he narrowed his eyes, adjusted the omni-tool, scanned Kaidan's neck, adjusted it again.

"Damn, I need to calibrate this thing," he muttered. The setting was barely known, not many slaves had the luxury of having it removed, or being found and freed. After some more wild typing he scanned Kaidan's neck again.

"It's been activated two times. It means," he looked at her, "it's a good thing. He hasn't had to suffer many manipulations. Unlike others," Arlen added. "The chip is freshly lodged in, tissue hasn't had real time to grow around it, the brain hasn't adjusted fully to it yet and still considers it an invasion. The sooner I get it out, the better." He was staring at her, saw the worry in her eyes. The question was still unanswered. "It's safe."

"Are you sure it doesn't have some kind of anti-tampering system in it? I trust you but... I need to be sure."

Arlen scanned it again and brought up the layout of it, showing it to her. 

"No ma'am. It's a simple standard issue. Good enough to control people, but doesn't have the advanced tech of actually destroying itself when being removed. It's a profit thing. The less it costs the better for the owner, the more creds they make. And usually, slaves aren't freed or rescued. It's just the lucky ones."

Irimsaya nodded a little bit, her eyes on Kaidan's pale and drawn face.

"Do it. And please be very very careful..."

Normally, he would have pestered her to set let him set her bones right and take care of the arm. But Arlen knew if he spoke up she would just set him straight again. As a doctor it pained him not to work on her arm, as a human being he understood the fear of losing someone close. Another part of him was glad she had allowed him to speak his mind most of the time. Unless of course she set him straight. Arlen liked his Captain, in a way she was reminding him of his mother.

"I will be. I'm.. always careful, ma'am." Arlen hesitated, there was something else on his lips but he swallowed it down, getting everything ready. He knew exactly what he was doing and he was surprised that apparently his Captain didn't know. It was a relieve, right now. But it only meant she'd read the file later and possibly ask him about it then. Or maybe he should just ask her not to ask or mention it at all.

Either way, once every patient was cared for and he had a bit of free time, he was looking forward to unwind with Cortez down in the shuttle bay. Provided nothing else came up. Or perhaps he could ask the pilot upstairs. If he had time. And right now he had the feeling his shift was going to be very long.

Irimsaya stayed through the entire thing, her eyes never leaving her husband's face. She couldn't leave him, not alone, not like this. He needed her now more than ever and she was damned sure not even hell itself could pry her from his side.

Hands working swift, tools always ready, equipment in reach and the little devious device was finally pulled out of Kaidan's head after some time and fell into the small basin.

The doctor sighed softly to himself. Another soul had been rescued. Another slave freed, even it had only been a short time, it's been long enough. That she had stayed at her husband's side all this time, had watched and hadn't wavered one second spoke for her, Arlen found. The respect grew even more and maybe now he could actually convince her to let him do his work on the broken arm. Arlen did very thorough scans of Kaidan, several times, knowing the Captain would insist anyway. He pulled up the current scans, comparing them to the old records and smiled, feeling pleased with himself too.

"Records indicate no damage has been done. No lasting damage to expect either. Your husband should make a full recovery, eventually. He should be asleep for some more time, allowing the body to deal with the trauma. Is there... anything else I can do for you, Captain? Regarding your husband, of course."

He was walking over to her side, carefully reaching for her arm. Arlen knew she could pack a punch, there was no way in hell he wanted to be at the receiving end.

"You don't mind me staying until he wakes up do you? I want my face to be the first thing he sees when he wakes up..." She looked at the doctor nodding her permission for him to examine her arm. "Go ahead, now that you've helped him. Thank you so much for everything you did for him."

The doctor started right away, it's already been too long in his books. 

"I don't mind, ma'am." 

Arlen had made the observation of people healing faster and better when their loved ones were around. Besides, she was the captain, there had to be a very good reason for him to throw her out.

While working on her arm he contemplated if he should show her the functionality of the chip or not. It was a cruel device, looking small, like it couldn't do much harm. The batarians had lessened in numbers, he knew that, but these things still made him uneasy and the more people knew and understood about them, the better.

"It's not ma'am, doctor. You can call me Shepard or Saya. I don't mind - especially now after you saved my husband's life."

Irimsaya reached out with the arm he wasn't working on and gently caressed Kaidan's pale face.

Arlen wanted to say something else, besides, "Thank you, m.. er Shepard. I'm just doing my job." Like, her husband was lucky to have her, or something else. When she winced, he knew she was suppressing a groan while setting her arm right. "It'll be done in a minute. I can give you something extra for the pain, if needed."

Irimsaya considered that for a moment then shook her head no.

"I don't want to risk being asleep when he wakes up." As she winced again. "But I think I'll chance it after all - yes please."

"I'll be here for some time." Arlen replied. If she would fall asleep, he'd try to wake her up.

Saya tried to smile but knew she failed miserably. She carefully pulled her chair as close to Kaidan's head as she could and slowly, and very cautiously, put her head next to his on the bed.

"I love you Kaidan." She whispered then, against her will, closed her eyes.

The doctor sighed softly, watching the pair. Beautiful in its own way. He went and got a blanket, draping it carefully around his Captain's shoulders and went to check on his other patients. The asari agreed to have their implants removed and Arlen quite willingly took care of those too. He was surprised when another two hours had passed and he longingly looked at the kitchen outside. A coffee, black and with sugar would be really appreciated now.

Checking Kaidan over once again, scanning his implant, Arlen took some notes, comparing them to the earlier results and adjusted his medication again. The swelling and infection were going down, very slowly though. The fever had lessened and if he had to guess, the Commander was deeply asleep now. Gaze wandering over to the turian, Arlen wondered what he could do for him. The alien was another problem and he offered to remove the chip. Told him he had experience. 

Quiet and withdrawn, the turian just shook his head no. Whatever he had endured, Arlen figured it was best not to prod the alien, knowing they all had been traumatized. Well, he had some time now, better to get all the paperwork done, results stored away, files updated. Arlen sat down and went to work.  


Jase groaned in his seat. He should have known better. Grunt had given him a good way to blow off steam. 

"What to do with our 'guests'," Jase muttered, thinking of contacting the batarians and handing them over. But they were slavers, some of them at least and they'd be set free. However, he could contact the Council and as he still had his Spectre Status... 

Jase grinned. Damn right, he still was a Spectre, but had acted without the authority of the Council. And yet a fellow Spectre had been kidnapped. Mind made up, Jase sat forward and typed up a report. 

The doc's report was missing and... Something else came to mind. There was time, back at home he'd be busy with the kids again.

"Jeff... I need to tell you something." Jase said softly, looking over at him.

"Well since nobody's shooting at us I think now's the perfect time. What's up buttercup?" Joker grinned at him.

Jase was wracking his brain on how to tell it best, but when Jeff said these words.... he just couldn't bring himself to say he doesn't remember a lot.

"I want to marry you again."

Joker turned in his chair to face his husband.

"Uhm - why? I mean if you want another party then we don't need a reason like that..."

Jase sighed, searching for the words, considering just saying he wanted to marry him again and be done with it. But Saya was right, Jeff was bright and he knew it too. Jeff would know and smell something was up.

"My memory is... full of holes. Everything since taking over the Normandy is. A blur."

Joker frowned and fully turned to face him.

"You don't remember getting married do you." It was more of a statement then a question.

Jase sighed deeply and rubbed his head. "Yeah. I know we exchanged vows, Saya and Kaidan where there. I remember being nervous, and kissing you. We were at Purgatory and hit the pools. I don't care about the other memories, places I went, missions. But this? I can't accept it."

Joker bowed his head and closed his eyes.

"Yeah."

Jase bowed his head too. "Jeff, I'm sorry. I love you. I want to remember our marriage. I remember our dinner on the Citadel, when I gave you my hoodie."

Joker rubbed his face silently for a minute - he really wasn't sure what to say or do here.

"Jase, I love you to pieces, I really do. So for you - let's do it."

Jase nodded, knowing Jeff needed time to understand and work this through. He was also grateful for not getting his head washed or anything similar. And Jeff deserved a husband who actually did remember marrying him.

"Thanks Jeff." With a sigh, Jase stood up and moved to Jeff, giving him a kiss, the only way right now to let him know that he really was grateful. And there was Kaidan.

"I'll go, see how the family's doing."

Joker kissed him back and nodded.

"Send my best to the Captain will you?"

Jase nudged Jeff's nose once more with his own. "I will."  


When Jase entered the med-bay everything was quiet. Doc Novak was working on his terminal and Saya seemed to be asleep right next to Kaidan. Jase went and stood on the other side of the bed, watching them. Kaidan's face was still pale, but not as dirty as before, the lines of dried water were gone, the hair a little bit more neat, crusts of blood had been washed away too apparently.

"Hey Kaidan," he whispered, for a second considering touching his head and hair, stroking it carefully. Instead he rested his hand on Kaidan's wrist, feeling for a pulse and found it beating away nicely. The skin was cold to his touch though, as were the fingers.

"We got you out of there, now it's on you. Saya's waiting."

There was no response but Jase could have sworn he saw movement behind the closed eyes. But when nothing happened he let go of him and turned to their doctor.

"Hey Doc, how's he doing?" Jase asked and sat down using the other free chair. Just like he had done it with Dr. Chakwas. That action earned him a raised eyebrow and surprised glance from the other man.

Arlen stood up, went over to Kaidan and scanned him before he returned to his chair, facing the Commander again. 

"Considering the trauma his body went through, I'm expecting a full recovery. Right now he's asleep, fever's gone down. I had to put him on fluids." Arlen eyed him. And he was darn curious, having heard a few stories about this man.

"Commander Shepard, right?" he asked.

Jase nodded, ignoring the question for now. "So he'll be fine. Eventually."

"Yes. I'm expecting a full recovery, like I said." Didn't they listen to what he was saying? Arlen wondered briefly, keeping an eye on the Commander and was just about to turn back to his terminal when Jase spoke up.

"Yes. Name's Shepard."

"Related to our Captain?"

"You could say that. Siblings." Jase answered. The doc was handsome. Dark brown curly hair, green-blue eyes, lean face. He liked what he saw. The man was tall too, slim, but broad shoulders. Jase noted the man's long fingers and the hands were, of course, clean.

"You are the Shepard who fired the Crucible?" Arlen asked, staring into those blue eyes.

"Would be me. It was a team effort though. Too many died that day, Doc, giving me the chance to do what I had to."

Arlen nodded, thinking about this for a second before answering. 

"Yes, we all lost people around us. If it hadn't been for you, Hammer and... everyone who gave their lives, we wouldn't be here today and talk. Or work... Or saving lives..." 

Arlen's gaze wandered over to his patients. 

"Just, thanks Commander. It's a privilege to serve on the Normandy under Captain Shepard. If she hadn't stopped Sovereign... I should thank her for it later."

Jase didn't really know what to make of this, but he nodded. Saya could need all the support she could get and when people remembered that it was her who stopped Saren and Sovereign on the Citadel, the better it was. But now Jase's interest had awoken and he could grill the Doctor.

"So. Doc..., tell me a bit about yourself. You look awefully young. Skilled Infiltrator, a Doctor who's able to replace one of the best the Normandy has ever seen...."

"I suppose I have some time. I.. uh.. joined the Alliance as soon as I hit the 18th year. There never was a question on what I wanted to become, I was always interested in helping people, curing them, mending wounds and broken arms....," Arlen answered.

Soon the med bay was filled with his soft hushed voice, giving away his career.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dr. Arlen Novak
> 
> if anyone is interested to see what he is looking like, [please go here](http://www.guygomel.com/nir-lavi/10.jpg). I find it "amusing", to quote Javik, how I had envisioned this young man and **then** I found this picture which was perfect.


	3. Three

### Chapter Three

The voices penetrated Kaidan's mind, including them into his dreams. Jase was on the beach, the ocean softly lapping away at the shore. Saya and their twins were playing in the sand, years older. Kaidan sat with their dogs, carefully stroking their fur and joking with Jeff about something he had already forgotten. There was another voice coming from somewhere, it was not a strange one but he couldn't pin it down yet who it belonged to. Kaidan rubbed the back of his neck, wishing the pain would finally stop. It felt hot and as if a lump was in there, pressing away on his spine. He rolled his shoulders, hoping it would help.

The voices of Jase and the stranger grew louder and Kaidan wondered what Joker would think of Jase. But none of the others seemed to mind and Kaidan just shrugged and looked at Saya. Eyes growing heavy Kaidan yawned and laid down, close to her, moved a little around to become more comfortable. It was getting cold. A stone annoyed him in his lower back but he felt a warmth on his other arm. The ocean's sound vanished but the soft voices were still talking. It grew dark around him, the sun was gone and Kaidan only felt the needles, the lump in his neck, the pressure in his lower back. A burning. There was a hand on his arm.

He wasn't at the beach anymore when he slowly woke up. There was the smell of something special in his nose, among the scent of blood and other things. The bed vibrated, matching the hum of the engines. But it wasn't the feel of the bed from the batarian ship. Eyelids very heavy, he pried them open, slowly, and nearly swore when the bright light hit his eyes.

"My god...," he groaned softly, hoping that someone would take pity and turn down those white bright lights.

Saya stirred, thinking she heard someone speak then she became fully alert when she saw the pain on Kaidan's face and, realizing immediately what must be wrong she put her good hand gently over his eyes.

"Someone turn down those damned lights before they burn his eyes out!" She tried to keep her voice even but seeing him in pain like that had really struck her in her heart.

Kaidan moved his head a little, out of instinct, but it was Saya's hand and he lay still. "Saya?"

Arlen took one glance at the Commander and lowered the lights. A pissed off Captain was not a good Captain to deal with. The other Shepard was all but forgotten and he stood at his patient's side in a heartbeat, checking him over once again.

'The drill of being in med-bay,' Kaidan thought, answering the doctor's questions. A part of him wanted to yell at the Doctor to give him something for the pain and to leave him the hell alone. Saya was more important and what he needed.

"Doctor, he's in pain can't you give him something?" Saya gently stroked Kaidan's face. "It's okay Kaidan, I'm here." She kept her voice soft. "You're safe now."

Jase stood in the background, watching them.

Arlen nodded, "This should help you, sir." He waited a little bit until he addressed him again. "Commander Alenko, sir? It's important. You aren't allowed to use your biotics in the next few days. Doctor's orders."

Kaidan just felt the warmth spreading through his body and he sighed a little bit eventually.

"Commander? Did you understand, sir?"

"No biotics," Kaidan mumbled softly. Okay, no biotics. He needed to remember that, when doctors were so insistent it had a reason. Kaidan slowly opened his eyes, very carefully. It felt like he was drunk now, happily drowsily. "I'm.. uh.. Normandy?"

Saya kissed his cheek gently.

"Yes sweetie, you're on the Normandy. We brought you home."

"Ah. Good.. that's good." Kaidan said and thought about something. There was something important he had to tell them. "There's a chip in me. To control me."

"Not anymore there's not." Saya kept her voice as a whisper, knowing his head must be killing him. "The good doctor here removed it."

Kaidan tried to nod, but didn't dare moving then. "Arlen did? I'm.. uh.. glad." Kaidan turned his head to see her face. "You look tired," he whispered, but then he was tired too.

"Lack of sleep does that to a person Kaidan." Irimsaya teased gently. "Besides, you look a lot more tired than I'm sure I do. Go back to sleep, I won't leave your side."

Kaidan tried to smile, but the pain in his head made it hard. "Mmh," he murmured, knowing she'd been worried, "okay." He closed his eyes, but then he opened them again, watching her through half closed eyes. "Our children are okay?"

"They're fine Kaidan don't worry. They have the best protection they could possibly get."

She was about to say something else when the ship rocked.

"Edi?"

"We are under attack Captain."

"By who?"

"Another Batarian vessel. I do not know how they have found us, I am running tests and scans on the Normandy and the people on board."

"Jase! Can you stay with Kaidan??" Saya stood up, feeling Kaidan weakly squeeze her hand.

Jase nodded, face showing the anger he felt at the attack. He brought up his omni-tool, checking their whereabouts in the galaxy. "Edi? Give me something, this can't be a coincidence!" The ship rocked again causing Jase to steady himself at Kaidan's bed and their eyes met.

"We'll be fine Kaidan," he told him.

Saya kissed Kaidan quickly then ran to the bridge where Edi and Joker were.

"Status!"

"The ship is following our every move," Edi said, keeping a channel open so Jase and Kaidan could listen in. "It appears to be attempting to disable us."

"Hail them!"

"All hails are being ignored." Edi responded.

"Dammit... alright, Joker evade as much as you can and if necessary fire back Edi. If we have to show our teeth we will!"

Saya watched as Joker managed to avoid most of the incoming fire.

"Captain we are being hailed." Edi spoke up.

"About time! Put them through!"

"Channel open."

"Batarian vessel this is Captain Irimsaya Shepard-Alenko of the Alliance vessel Normandy. Stand down! Repeat, STAND DOWN."

'No. Don't you talk to them,' Jase thought, scanning the room. He had a suspicion, they must have found themselves some kind of help. But everything was clean, no transmission coming from the ship, no messages had been sent. But there had to be something giving away their position. Either a signal, a message or someone hacked into their system. But hacking Edi was nearly impossible, unless. Jase looked at Kaidan, his eyes were closed.

"Doc, keep an eye on Kaidan for me," Jase ordered the young man and then he went into the server room, accessing Edi's inner life directly. Checking her protocols, especially those he deemed compromised. What he found was something he didn't like at all. They had access to their navication system and were synced with the ship's helm. Whatever Jeff was doing, they'd know and were adjusting.

"Saya, Edi's access codes have been compromised. I'm disabling the old ones, but she needs a reboot."

Irimsaya closed her eyes briefly, knowing while Edi was down they'd be vulnerable.

"Do it!" She called back to Jase then winced as the ship rocked hard under a missile. "Damn it to hell..."

"Jeff, ship's all yours...," Jase said over the comm, "in three, two, one. NOW."

The ship powered down and for a second everything was dark, then the emergency power came on, supporting the most important systems.

The reboot was in full progress, Jase could see it in the server room as the ship lurched beneath his feet. They'd have one hell of a pissed off AI once she was back. There was another problem though. If they had the codes to the Normandy, what other codes had they gotten out of him?

Jase used his private comm. "Saya, change every code Kaidan had access to."

"Kaidan?? What?? He would never!" Saya narrowed her eyes but began doing what Jase asked.

"No, not willingly," he answered her softly, "he would never do this, but he did."

Jase paused while watching more lights going on from Edi, she was nearly fully back online. "There's three people on this ship who have to these codes. You, me and Kaidan."

Irimsaya went pale and gripped Jeff's chair tightly, wondering what else Kaidan had been forced to reveal.

"Uh yeah Jase? You might not want to go there, our Captain's looking a little faint now." Joker got on the comms, having taken a glance at Saya. "CRAP! We just lost the thrusters on the left side!"

"Dammit! I'll be in engineering. Edi's nearly fully back online, just hang on Jeff! Use the thannix!" It was the last resort, Jase thought as he sealed the server room. But if they had no other options left, they would have to use those.

Jase jogged past the doctor, "Seal the med-bay. No one leaves or enters this room until I'm back." Jase ordered, hurrying off. "Jeff, keep me updated. Is the batarian Captain still willing to talk?"

"Uh yeah he is. He's sent a message that states he'll let the Normandy go if we turn over our Captain... and **all** the slaves we took from them." Joker responded. "And there goes the other side! Jase we're in deep shit here! There's a second Batarian vessel coming alongside us trying to dock!"

"He's not getting anyone! Seal the cockpit. Edi, you back yet?"

"I am back online."

Jase nodded, telling their crew to arm themselves and of the possible hostile entering while he changed his route from engineering to the armory.

"Shepard, I have gained access to the leading batarian ship."

"How did you do that....?" Jase asked while handing out weapons, getting his own gun ready.

"There is no time to elaborate. Do you wish me to sabotage its system?"

"Hell yes, do what you can." He nodded, wondering how Saya was doing. Since she had heard from the unwilling betrayal he hadn't heard a word.

Saya's shaky voice came over the comm to the entire crew.

"Normandy crew. Stand down all arms. I'm turning myself over to them."

Edi accessed Jase's omni tool and sent him the message Saya just got - that the Batarians had an agent still on Earth.. and that the agent had access to the twins.

Jase blinked, thinking hard and in a racing speed. Who the hell could that be? Liam and Miranda had orders to protect their family. Mary and Kevin were taking care of the twins, including Kelly, Terry and Doctor Chakwas. And there were still Sakura, Kai and Jeremy. Before he could figure this out, he typed away in lightspeed on his omni-tool, sending Liam an urgent message, knowing their geth and Miranda would do what needed to be done to keep the twins secure. Including the others. And Karen probably knew how to handle a gun as well. They needed to know, including the order to inform him of any suspicious activity.

"Adams, what's the status of the thrusters? I need them back online, an hour ago!"

"Sorry sir," came the reply, voice urgent. Jase knew the man and the team were doing what they could. "We would need at least half a day to repair them."

"We don't have that much time, not even an hour! Give me something to move the ship! And if you have to flail with your arms!"

"Sorry Sir, I wish there was something more positive I could tell you. We're literally stranded in space."

"DAMMIT!" Jase hit the nearest wall, "Damn it!"

"Get these thrusters going, no matter what. Understood? We're sitting ducks."

Jase kept his gun, despite Saya's order and he had no idea what to do right now to keep this from happening. If she went with the Captain, chances were they would implant her too. Chances were they would grill her for information and do worse things. And the Alliance, would they care this time? They would if he was to go instead of her. Including the Council, since a Spectre had been kidnapped, again.

The Normandy should have fired. Should have taken down the hostile ship. Edi probably had thought she did, but with the intruders messing with her sensors...

"Edi, run a diagnostic check on your systems. Report any errors."

"Joker... make sure Kaidan knows I love him." Saya said softly and patted her pilot on the shoulder before heading to the airlock and the ship now docking with them.

Joker swore to himself.

"Jase! We're gonna lose the Captain!!" Joker yelled to his husband.

"SAYA!" Jase went into the elevator, punching the panel in anger, knowing he wouldn't make it to the airlock in time. Once the door opened he ran past Sam and to the door.

"Edi! Unlock the door! Let me in, damn it!" The door opened not even five seconds later and Jase went to the airlock. But all that greeted him was an empty space. Jase punched the wall. "WHY?! God damn it, why?!" He needed to come up with a plan, fast.

"Edi, track them, calculate where they're heading to," Jase ordered her harshly.

"I can do better than that Commander. Before she left the Captain ensured that the tracking device Cerberus implanted in her body was still functional. We will be able to track it - as long as we are within range. I am monitoring their course as well of course. I am not happy with them at all and if there is one anger you do not wish to rouse it is that of an AI." Edi responded in an unusually long speech for her, and one filled with what sounded suspiciously like rage.

"You just don't piss off an AI," Jase nodded and continued, "I better go and help Adams to fix the thrusters. Or we'll never stay close to her." Jase said and hurried off, after glancing at Jeff. Why was it that every time things got cramp and busy he had the urge to ravage his mouth and do a little more?

 

The ducts were small, smaller than he remembered them. Sweat trickled down his face, ran down his arms making his palms even more sweaty. The headache was back in full swing but Jase knew he had to fix this damn piece of electronics. There had been the mentioning of upgrades and by now Jase guessed someone must have sabotaged these very systems. He couldn't explain it otherwise, because all four thrusters were showing the exact same damage at the exact same spot.

For a second Jase thought of Tali and how she could salvage and create useful items out of nothing. He grinned. It wasn't just a skill used by the Quarians. Some people from earth had this skill too. Those who had to live off of nothing. That was the very reason why he went for engineering, to create, build and rebuild items out of things others were throwing away. There was always the thrill of what he could make of it. Of the clutter, as other people called it. Garbage, even. And yet so very useful.

Jase put the piece he just had built into its place and scanned it. Scanned the circuits, tested them. Good. They were running. Time for the next stop.

"Alright Adams, thruster four is back online. On my way to thruster three," Jase told their engineer and slowly turned around on all four to crawl back.

"Understood, sir," came the reply over the comm.

Jase groaned, stopped and panted for a few seconds before crawling along further. The ribs were a pain now, the stomach cramped and Jase coughed, swallowing down the nausea he felt. By now he really thought he shouldn't have gone to Grunt and stopped crawling again.

Eyes closed he began controlling his breathing, or he'd end up in a panic and more pain. Upon opening his eyes he thought the narrow space was becoming even more narrow, moving in and out as he slowly moved forward to the next thruster. The time to reach it felt too long and he really could do with hearing someone's voice now.

"Jeff, you there?"

"Yep I'm here, you doin okay down there? Was starting to get worried when I hadn't heard from you. Oh Edi says to tell you that the thruster you just fixed is working properly."

"Good. It's damn hot down here. Not the kind of hot I like." Jase crawled on, groaning softly when he went down to reach the lower level of the duct. "Any... other news? From home?"

"Yeah we just got a message from Liam. Someone tried to take the twins."

"Dammit. Alright Jeff, I've reached thruster three, starting to work on it," Jase informed him, taking out the fried piece. "Tried to, but didn't succeed. Everyone okay back home?"

"Yeah - and the suspect is now being interrogated by an apparently very pissed off James who came as soon as he heard."

Jase stopped what he was doing and started laughing. The sight of a pissed off James should be an interesting one. "Glad he's on earth," he groaned, still chuckling. "Damn. Should see the Doc later. He learned anything useful?"

It was hot, despite some cooler air reaching him now. Jase salvaged what he could, building up a new one. This new omni-tool was a lot better, something he hadn't thought possible. Especially for fixing any kind of engineering items, giving more options for adjustment and a lot more. "Love this tool," he muttered to himself.

"Not yet he hasn't no. But he's not the only one there... Garrus is there too and according to Liam even more pissed off than James."

"Garrus came to earth?" Jase asked, stopping his work for a second. "Garrus and James are actually alike. In a few ways. Duty, honour, loyalty."

"Yeah apparently Garrus caught wind of Kaidan being taken and was on his way to help. He got there right when this person tried to take the twins."

"Nice." Jase continued working, wiping off the sweat from his forehead. "Sent Garrus a message. Tali too. Sec...," he scanned the piece, it was still warm from the work he had done on it and placed it into its spot, scanning again. "Thruster three should be back online. How's the other side going?"

"We're almost back to full thrusters - you guys are doing great. Even Edi's impressed - when she's not ranting about being violated..."

"Can't blame her," Jase said, wiping off his sweaty palms on his pant legs. "Nobody likes being violated. Kaidan hasn't done it on purpose." Jase moved forward and finally reached the area where he could start walking again. "Edi, you hear that, it wasn't his fault. Kaidan's been forced to it."

"I am not mad at the Commander, Shepard. I am however mad at those responsible."

Jase nodded, knowing she couldn't really see it or maybe she did. "We're with you on that one. How far away are they now with Saya?" Jase was glad he finally got out of that area and rejoined the others in the engineering room, needing an update.

"Barely within scanning range Commander."

"What kind of path are they taking?" Jase asked her, seeing that Adams was back, Ken and Gabby were there too. If they were taking a straight approach towards their destination, it would be easier to calculate their final goal. It was located in batarian space, he guessed. But where.

"It seems to be quite irregular. I am guessing that that is planned."

Jase acknowledged it, then went on to talk with Adams. And he was pleased to get to know they had fully operational thrusters again.

"Edi, follow Saya. Let's bring her back home. Good work everyone," Jase told the crew and left, going back to med bay. It was hours later now. Every step closer to it made it harder. If Kaidan was awake and asking...

The door opened and Jase straightened up, going directly to doc Novak. "Hey Doc, got a minute for me? In private please." Jase motioned towards Edi's room. The place was just too cramped, the asari, the turian, Kaidan. Asleep. Good. Well for now.

"Sure Commander," Arlen answered, wondering what he wanted from him. But he saw the tiredness and the Commander smelled like work.

Jase went ahead and walked straight to Legion's old place where he sat down. And then he carefully got rid of his shirt. "Problem Doc, bruised rib. Hell of a headache. And I need to find my sister."

Arlen nodded and started to inspect the ribs, seeing the bruises and scars. "Are they from the last mission?" he asked in disbelief. So far he hadn't seen the Commander getting tossed around.

"No," Jase sighed a little, looking away. How to explain this best. It was an uncomfortable feeling having to tell someone else. Of course he could lie, but Jase didn't want to, liking the doctor. And he was a doctor, right now, his doctor.

"I... Well. A lot of things happened to me in the past years. Ever since the end of the war I have anger issues. Sometimes someone offers me to spar. Grunt and I had a sparring match." Jase confessed, seeing the look on the doc's face.

"I'm seeing a psychologist, alright. Haven't been in action since more than three months. Never planned on coming back but they needed my help." The look didn't really vanish and Jase grew restless. "God damn it, just give me something for the pain. I need to find my sister."

Arlen was watching him, and it was a thoughtful gaze. For a moment he wasn't sure if this man was able to lead them. But the ribs were definitely bruised and painful. The asked for painkiller was given, but not without looking at him again.

"Commander, you're hot to the touch. You might be running a fever."

"I was in the ducts, repairing the thrusters," Jase told him, rubbing his forehead and scrubbed his hair. "I need a shower."

"Yes you do. Sir. Temperature is elevated. Dehydrated too. When was the last time you ate, had fluids?" Arlen touched his forehead, noting the heat coming off it. Whatever was going on here the man was pushing his limits already.

Jase closed his eyes at the touch, imagining it being Jeff's fingers.

"Commander?" Arlen asked again.

"Back at home," Jase confessed, sighing. "Damn batarian gas is still giving me trouble."

"What kind of trouble. Commander, I'm here to help, not to judge," Arlen told him. "I'm your doctor, sir. And three days is too long a time to leave this untreated."

"Fluids, food upset the stomach, that explanation enough for you?" Jase sighed and nodded, giving in. Whatever the doc had in mind was fine by him. "I need to find my sister," he pressed again.

Arlen nodded while doing his job, getting him back onto his feet. But the confession about the anger made him think and getting him to think was a dangerous thing, causing his tongue to go ahead without the brain engaging first. "I've been where you are right now. Depression, anger issues, not sleeping well. It will get better in time, just never give up. I know what you're going through."

"What makes you think you know me and what's been going on?" Jase asked, totally surprised by this. "You don't know me. Don't know me at all."

Luckily Arlen bit his tongue, not saying he heard a few things left and right, especially on the Normandy. Talk, like that this man wasn't really from this world. That his sister wasn't his sister but another version of him. Or the other way around. "I'm sorry sir. I overstepped. Won't happen again. You should feel better soon."

Jase nodded, eyeing the man, staring him nearly down. "Your.... thoughts... are noted. Thanks Doc," he told him, in a way letting him know they're fine. The sweaty shirt was being put back on and Jase went to see Kaidan.

Kaidan's eyes were open a very little bit when Jase got his bedside.

"Saya... where is she..." Gods even his whispers felt like they had the punch of a Krogan in his head.

Jase reached out, placing his one hand next to Kaidan's head.

"Kaidan..... There were some problems. Someone threatened the twins and she went willingly with the batarian vessel attacking us. I couldn't stop her, I'm sorry. I'll find her, hear me? I'll get her back."

Kaidan heard himself whimper softly.

"Because of me.... they attacked... because of what I told them...."

Jase was watching him, speaking softly. "It wasn't your fault Kaidan. Head still bad?"

"Yeah... feels like someone... is firing a mining laser..inside my skull."

"Doc got the control chip out. Let me get him." His eyes were already on Doc Novak and Jase realized he had totally forgotten that the man had been working his butt off too. It filled him with regret and he needed to make sure the man got some rest too.

"Doc, Kaidan's still in pain, got something for him?" Jase asked softly.

"Well, I could give him something. It's the swelling causing the headache. I'm afraid we'll just have to wait for it to go down. I've done all I can. I'm sorry, sir." Arlen thought about it, looking at the man on the bed and he checked his file, giving Kaidan another dosage against the pain, talking softly to his patient.

Jase nodded, "That's.. alright. Thanks. When was your last break?"

"I.. ah. If you ask me like this. Some time ago." Arlen answered truthfully, without going into detail.

"Get some rest then. I'll wake you if needed. That's an order." Which also meant, Jase wasn't getting any shower anytime soon. With a sigh, he was back at Kaidan's side.

Kaidan sighed in relief as the meds brought the pounding back to a dull thump.

"Have.. to find her Jase... have to..."

"We're on it, Kaidan," Jase leaned down a little, whispering. "We're tracking her Cerberus signal. It's active."

Kaidan closed his eyes and sighed softly.

"You don't know... what they have planned for her... what they're going to make her do..."

"No. I don't," Jase answered softly. "But they sure as hell don't know we're following them." Jase considered righting his body, but wasn't that sure of doing it. "They'll be surprised."

Kaidan groaned quietly and tried to get himself comfortable on the bed.

"They're gonna... do to her what they did to me... and more..."

The wriggling around was enough for Jase to start with it.

"We don't know that Kaidan."

A part of Jase was hoping they wouldn't touch her, the other part was fearing the worst. For now they were running silent, following them and Jase was glad they had let go of all the heat from the previous run.

 

* * *

 

As soon as she had boarded the Batarian vessel, Saya had found her hands behind her in restraints. She closed her eyes for a moment as two of the crew laughed and one dared to caress her face. Defiance warred with defeat on her face as they grabbed her roughly and forced her to the Captain's private rooms. Once there she paused, seeing the chair that they had used to implant her husband with the slavery chip.

"I do hope you're not planning on trying that with me." Her voice was cold and hard.

"This chip is for you human," the Captain said, holding the box in his hands. The secrets he could get out of Saya would ensure him a good place and standing in the hegemony.

"Like hell it is!"

When they tried to make her sit in the chair they had to undo her arms. The second she was free, Saya began kicking and punching. She managed to get a hold of one of the crew's weapons and started firing.

One batarian went down, bullet in his head. Another one dove for cover and the Captain dashed forward.

Saya grunted as she was tackled to the floor by the Captain, the weapon still in her hand as she struggled for control of it with him.

"You really think I'm going to make this easy for you?" She growled out.

The batarian soldier stepped onto her hand to force the weapon away. He bent down then to take it out of her hand.

Saya yelled in pain and let go unwillingly. She struggled as hard as she could as they got her to her feet and put her in the same chair Kaidan had occupied not so long ago.

"You can't do this! You've already risked an all-out war with the alliance when you kidnapped my husband!" She winced as her wrists were secured to the arms of the chair with metal cuffs. Even with the strength lended to her by her implants, she couldn't break the hold on her wrists, the metal was too strong.

"The Alliance is not interested in you, human," he stated, knowing they hadn't given her any help. "Prepare for the pain." The Captain laughed then at her.

Saya felt herself screaming, heard it, but couldn't stop it as the chip was implanted in her skull. She tried desperately to keep Kaidan's face in her thoughts, to focus on their love, but the pain was like nothing she had ever experienced before as she passed out in the chair.

When she next awoke she found herself in a cell. Groaning she lifted a hand to her head and felt where they had implanted her. She knew she would be forced to do whatever they wanted now... and until she was rescued. Kaidan. She tried as hard as she could to keep thoughts of him foremost in her mind. Perhaps, just perhaps, thinking of him would help her through this.

The batarian ship was now silent. The Captain walking his round, considering his next step.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I know I'm not very original with chapter names. Sorry ;)
> 
> Aaaand thank you for the kudos!


	4. Four

### Chapter Four

Jase awoke with a start, having fallen asleep in the Doctor's chair and he looked around. Kaidan was out of the bed, already half dressed.

"Kaidan? Shouldn't you stay in bed?" Jase asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. But before Kaidan could give him an answer Jase checked the time and needed to know if they had caught up with the ship yet. "Edi, what's the status?"

"Nothing yet Commander and the signal from the Captain's transmitter is just on the edge of my perception."

Kaidan clenched his teeth as he slowly put his shirt on.

"I can't stay in bed Jase, even if I should. Not with her out there alone and in the hands of the man who wants to make her pay for what she's done - and the man who plans to bring the Alliance to it's knees."

"Edi, as soon as we are close enough, let me know." This was taking too long for his likes. The longer it took them to catch up with them, the harder it would become for Saya.

Half dead or not, Jase knew he couldn't really get Kaidan back into bed. "You go back to this bed. Before you fall flat onto your face," Jase told him. But there was more to learn apparently. "Tell me more. What do you know?"

Kaidan closed his eyes then turned to face Jase.

"He plans to make her a.. well I kind of told him her dancing had improved and he got some ideas from that unfortunately. I couldn't stop the words Jase they just... I tried to hard to stop the words but I couldn't!!!"

'Dancing?', Jase thought, wondering for a second. "Kaidan, this wasn't your fault. You fought, hard. Sometimes things get taken out of our hands and. Well." Jase stopped that train of thought. "We killed the Captain on the ship you were held. Freed the other slaves. Saya's on another ship. Must be their true leader."

Jase went to him, laying his hand carefully onto his shoulder. "What else do you know?" he asked him quietly.

Kaidan closed his eyes and bowed his head.

"I... I can't Jase. Please stop asking me that... it's what he kept asking me. I can't."

"Okay. I'm sorry." Maybe he should have fought harder back at home and Kaidan wouldn't have been kidnapped. "I could use some help coming up with a plan on how to get her out of there best."

"It's a special chip they made just for her." Kaidan's voice was quiet, eerie even. "If we try to take her from them... they can blow off her head. It's something they stole from another race but I don't know what one."

"To blow something off, there's always a trigger needed. We'll find it." Jase tried to reassure him. Inwardly he was seething though. Thoughts kept wandering back to Saya and the ship she was on, would it have the same layout? He should look it up.

"I uhm... I can't stay here Jase, locked in the medbay. I need to help you find her. Please."

Jase nodded, knowing he had asked him this already. "Of course. I could use your help. It's easier together."

Kaidan nodded and rubbed his forehead, closing his eyes.

"My brain feels like it's a jumble of things but... well I don't know what I can offer but I'll try."

"Come on, Kaidan. Let's get you out of here." He led the way to the door. "We'll find her. Together. Just like old times."  


* * *

  


Irimsaya screamed as the captain of the ship she was on activated her chip.

"I won't!! I won't tell you! I won't betray the Alliance!"

"The choice is not yours human. Your ranking within the Alliance is higher. Do you wish your children to suffer?" She was a stubborn human. Never before had he seen such a resistance to the control chip.

"You want them to live, do you not? Give me what I want to know and I will call the agent off. The Alliance is not your home anymore."

Closing her eyes, Saya sank to her knees and bowed her head, sobbing quietly.

"There are no orbital defences around Earth since the Reaper attack." She whispered in defeat. "But the Citadel is being repaired as we speak."

"An interesting start, human. Give me more intel. Your... mate, had proven himself more useful."

"I don't know what you want!!" Saya screamed at him, unable to contain her anger and pain anymore.

One of the other crew came in and put a package by the captain.

"Her new clothes, as you requested Captain." He left again with a chuckle.

The Captain threw him a glare, daring him to speak up again. Upon eying Saya he opened the package and took out the tiny pieces of clothing. "You will get changed, slave."

Irimsaya stared at the "clothes" he pulled out and shook her head, wincing as the motion set her head aching again.

"Yeah that's really not happening."

"You have nothing to say here slave. You do as I say." the Captain said when he approached her.

Breathing hard and bracing herself for anymore blasts of pain, Saya looked up at him.

"*Never*."

He was getting pissed off by now and impatient. First the Captain slapped her face before he went to adjust her control chip. Either the piece was broken or, like he had guessed before, the brain was too resistant.

"Do as I say," he said, adjusting the device.

Irimsaya moaned quietly and closed her eyes. She felt herself removing her clothes but couldn't stop it from happening. Swallowing hard she put on the other "clothes", feeling very exposed.

The Captain started chuckling quietly, watching her. The four eyes were traveling her body up and down and he went back to his chair, sitting down. "Dance," he ordered her, intending to make a vid of this.

Irimsaya glared at him as she felt her body obeying his command once more.

'Kaidan... Jase... please get me out of here... and fast...,' She thought to herself as she closed her eyes, her body moving in ways she never knew it could.

The batarian Captain started laughing, and it grew loud, enjoying the dance she was performing. The husband had been right.  


* * *

  


Jase's head jerked up when Sam's voice brought him out of his deep thinking. He could have sworn he had heard someone laughing. "Commander, there's an incoming call for the Normandy. Its origin is the batarian homeworld."

Jase looked over at Kaidan, wondering what this would be about. Would it be good, or rather bad? "What's your take on this. Should I take it, Kaidan?"

Kaidan looked at Jase and nodded slowly.

"Even if it's some kind of ransom demand... I need to know what they want."

Jase nodded his agreement. "I'll take it in the war room, Sam. Thanks."

The last time he had been walking down these steps, Jase mused, was when a week after the war had ended. And now he was back here, needing to free his sister from hell. Kaidan was right on his heels, he felt his presence at his back.

"Let's see what they want," Jase muttered, starting the conversation. The first he noticed was the tribal mark on the batarian's head. And he knew the face.

"Balak. It's about time you come forward and face us," Jase nearly snarled, finding it hard to contain his anger and frustration.

"Shepard. Hostility will not help you. I have an offer."

"What kind of offer? Ransom? Threats? More people you have kidnapped?"

"An offer for help."

"Humor me. Nothing comes for free in this galaxy. You want something. Name it." Jase replied, staring at the batarian. Offering help probably meant something totally different.

"I'm the leader of the batarian hegemony. Someone within my.... family, is trying to overpower me." It was clear the batarian was finding it problematic to confess this and especially to a human. Yet Jase wasn't sure, maybe it was an act?

"Well, can't blame him. Bad luck for you. What's got this to do with 'our' situation?"

"He has Captain Shepard."

"And?"

"Is getting information out of her. To start an assault on earth."

"Hey, come on, that's no new news. Everyone knows since the Bahak system has... died, batarians are looking for a way for revenge. Don't tell me you're different. I know you aren't."

Balak looked away, Jase could have sworn he heard a sigh. "The future of the batarian hegemony is unclear and, to ensure our existence, we're looking for new allies. The batarians need help, Shepard. We are a dying race."

"To be quite honest with you sir, I don't give a damn!" Kaidan snarled, stepping past Jase. "Your family member kidnapped and tortured me and now who knows what he is doing to my wife! I want some assurance that she's still alive!"

Jase laid his hand on Kaidan's forearm. It happened off screen, Balak couldn't see it. A gentle squeeze was Jase's silent answer to Kaidan as he stood now next to him.

"Kaidan's right. We need to know she's still alive. If you want my help, help my sister. You need help for your people? It needs a lot more than just helping me. It needs trust. Even you must understand this, Balak."

And was the Alliance even willing to help the batarians? If they really needed help. Jase didn't know. If it brought Saya back, the better. Was what Balak said even true? Liara would know, hell, even Aria. But he'd ask Liara, she didn't request a striptease. Besides, Jase smelled another game of politics laying ahead of him.

"I will send you the proof," Balak said, hesitating a bit and the transmission ended. Jase knew the batarian had wanted to say more. Just what?

Jase groaned and ruffled through his hair, feeling restless, agitated and a small part of him wanted to run away. That was new. He had never shied back from a mission.

Kaidan was breathing hard, barely holding his anger in check. His head was aching again and he knew his biotics were starting up on their own accord.

"What kind of proof can he send Jase..."

"It better be good," Jase said, turning to him. "Kaidan.. watch the biotics. Doc's order." Jase was about to say more when Sam's voice interrupted him.

"Commander, another incoming transmission. It's a live feed from the batarian vessel holding the Captain captive."

"Can we be sure it's a live feed Sam?"

"Yes, Edi and I double checked it. We have no doubt. It's for real, Commander."

Jase scratched his neck, thinking of what he could need. Food, sleep, love, Saya back. Going back home. Jeff. Peace. His kids, dogs, horses, hens, garden. Ocean. Surfing. A lot of things. He could use a lot. A miracle. A god damn miracle. And every help he could get. More politics.

"Where do you want to take this Kaidan. Your cabin?" Jase looked at him, no way in hell he would suggest watching it where someone else could over hear or see it. What would they get to see, more violence?

"Here with you. I... I don't want to be alone if it shows them torturing her..."

"Put it through Sam. We're taking it here," Jase said, bracing himself inwardly for what he was about to witness. If it wasn't Balak messing with them. Whatever they were going to see, Jase was aware that if he'd be a woman, this would be him. "Well. There it comes," Jase said softly, looking at Kaidan's profile. "I could watch it alone. If you... can't ... "

Kaidan shook his head a bit.

"No... no let's do this together. It's what she would want."

"Okay," Jase nearly whispered, hitting the key sequence, pulling up the feed.

The quality was good and it was obvious the Batarian didn't realize he was being watched. It was like watching something from his past, childhood. The same reason why he had despised Cora's Den and the so called gentleman that came with it. Something he nearly had slipped into himself, if he hadn't kicked out to run away. Jase lowered his head, not looking at the feed. Just listening.

Kaidan groaned quietly and stared at Saya's nearly naked body as she danced for the Batarian.

"Damn him... DAMN HIM!" Kaidan was quite aware now of his biotics flaring up and he didn't care.

The proof was good enough, apparently, question now was what to do with it, how to go from here and what to do about Balak's plea? Involve the Alliance now? Later? They had practically stolen the Normandy, which would pose another problem if he contacted the Alliance to forge a bond between humans and batarians.

Jase turned his head, watching him. Keeping his eyes on Kaidan. "Kaidan you don't want to get worse," Jase whispered, but there was the hint of a warning in his voice too.

"That's the woman I love Jase! He... Well now I have to wonder what else he's made her do! She's crying for pity's sake!" Kaidan bowed his head, his anger radiating in waves from him and his nose beginning to bleed.

Instead of saying anything more to this, telling him it was his sister, or rather he himself suffering through this too, Jase spoke up to Edi. 

"Edi. I want to reach that ship TODAY. Not tomorrow, not tonight. TODAY."

"Understood, Commander."

"Get me Balak back." Jase ordered gruffly, pacing around until the batarian was back.

"Shepard." Balak said, nothing more.

"Here's the deal. Help us getting her out of there and I'll meet with you in person to help," Jase said, staring at him while waiting for an answer.

"It favours only your side. After you have what you want you.."

"Stop it right there! Your people assaulted my family, kidnapped them! I'm not the aggressor. I don't need to help **you**. But I want to. You have a chance to change something. To bring your people into the future, alive. Either you help us freeing her, or we're done here. What is it?"

"The word of a human was not worth much, Shepard. How would I trust you keeping it?"

"I'm the one who saved your galaxy. You have my word. And that's more than a promise."

Silence. Staring matches, neither looked away. Which surprised Balak. Humans usually had trouble, not knowing which eyes to look at. And suddenly Balak started to move, typing around somewhere off screen.

"Commander, we just received another transmission, it contains a bunch of codes. I don't know what they are for, but you might want to take a look at it."

"Thanks, Sam," Jase said softly, still staring at Balak.

"We have a deal, human," Balak said, the words containing a hidden warning too.

"We have," Jase nodded, knowing he'll honor it. The batarian shut down the transmission and Jase let out a long deep breath. "What the hell did I just agree to here...," he muttered, lowering his head.

"Whatever you just agreed to, I'll be right alongside you," Kaidan responded. "But if they kill her before we get to her all bets are off."

Jase nodded, thankful for the support he was getting from Kaidan and also agreeing to what he said.

"They better not," Jase said, then growled it out once more. "They better not. Let's take a look at those codes." He turned and left the room, going to check them out in the war room. "And after this I'll take a shower. Don't want the crew to complain. And you," he turned to Kaidan, "get some rest. Before Doc orders you back to med bay."

"I'll rest when I'm dead." Kaidan replied, not knowing he was echoing the words of a Shepard from awhile ago.

If he had been something holding in his hand he would have dropped it. Jase froze, as the memory came back of him standing at the same spot and Garrus telling him to get some sleep. Mordin had just died, riding up in the tower to cure the Genophage. Then it was raining down, like tiny flakes, falling into his gloved hand. _"There's a Reaper in my way!"_ the words echoed in his mind. _"You must be tired."_

Jase looked up and at Kaidan. So adamant with his search for Saya. And years ago, when he himself had been missing, had Kaidan been the same, the one in his world, working himself into the ground, too? Jase licked his lips, wanting to reply something, but for a few seconds there were no words coming out. Until he just said, "Kaidan...," meaning more than a simple 'I could order you to', or 'You've been through hell.'. It included an 'Saya needs you at your best.' as well.

"I..I can't sleep Jase. My head... it pounds so much when I'm standing and lying down was making it that much worse. Saya... and you.... are the only ones who have ever been able to even slightly numb them."

"You've been using your biotics. A bit." Jase was worried, he wanted to help him, help all of them. Get them back home, back to their life. "Let me help you with it. Or go and pay the Doc a visit," Jase told him, but somehow he doubted doc Novak would give him willingly more painkillers. Instead he would run tests to see why the headache was still there.

Kaidan wiped the blood from his nose.

"I uh.. I don't want to go back to the med-bay if it's all the same to you."

"Alright. Let's take this to your cabin then." The codes, he remembered them suddenly after spacing out for half a minute. The data was quickly downloaded onto his omni-tool before he thought of taking a snack and something to drink with him as well. Doc would ask about it.  


Kaidan sighed softly as he entered the cabin he shared with Saya. He bowed his head and closed his eyes as he pictured her being forced to dance, nearly naked, for that Batarian.

Jase followed him silently and brought the food to his cabin and took a quick shower before he entered his sister's bedroom. Kaidan needed some rest and hopefully it would lessen the headache.

Adjusting Kaidan's body with care, Jase felt even more restless and had to pace himself not to hurry through it. He needed to help Kaidan, not make it worse. Judging by Kaidan's face it was helping, but not as much as he had hoped for. On the other hand, it seemed to make the man sleepy which was the desired effect.

Kaidan groaned softly as Jase's hands roamed over his body.

"God you're still good at this." He chuckled weakly. "I remember when you showed Saya how to do this... was all I could do not to jump the pair of you afterwards."

"Thanks," Jase said while working on getting his back right. It was completely off. Then his eyebrows shot up, digesting this. "Pair?"

"Yeah it was weird to be honest. I just... I was really turned on for some reason." Kaidan admitted. "Never tell Saya, please!"

"I... won't," Jase replied, having to remind himself that this man was not the other Kaidan. Different persons, lives, people, whatever. _Not_ his former lover. All that hard thinking today and now this confession just brought back the headache. Forehead throbbing away Jase was now searching for an adequate answer, something to reassure both of them.

"Nothing wrong with being turned on by someone else. As long as it's not cheating."

Kaidan chuckled sleepily.

"I guess so."

Jase grinned a little and couldn't help but asking. "What about now? Still the same effect on you?"

"What do you think? That's not exactly my pistol down there..."

"I've been ignoring it all the years Kaidan." 

Dangerous, dangerous territory. He knew he should go and just leave it at this. It was funny, now that he had put this behind, having this talk was kind of .... He had no words for it. Instead of saying that he needed to leave now, Jase blurted out, "Would you have ever acted on it?"

Kaidan turned his head to look at him.

"I love Saya, Jase. And I honestly can't imagine my life without her. Would I have acted on it if I didn't know her? Yeah probably."

Jase nodded, knowing he loved her. He gave him a quick smile before saying something he had meant to say for a long time. "You broke my damn heart the day you told me you love her and are only interested in women. It's flattering you love her because in a way it means you love me too. That day, someone could have killed me. It wouldn't have mattered. Accept it, adapt to it, suggestions, advice...."

Jase sat down on the floor, resting his head on the bed. "It's nice seeing you reacting to me like that. If Jeff and Saya..., well." The rest was left unspoken. Also the thought of where did Saya start and Jase end?

"I love my sister, I love you and our family and what we have. But I'm in love with Jeff." That was pretty clear.

"Just like we all love you Jase, each in our own way."

Kaidan sat up suddenly as if he had been hit with an electrical charge.

"CRAP! Jase we didn't change Saya's codes for the Normandy!!"

"Kaidan, they're changed," Jase answered quietly, still sitting down there and wondered if he should tell him that Kaidan actually had no access to anything. Just he himself was left.

Kaidan breathed a sigh of relief.

"Good... that's... that's good."

"Commander Shepard - we are approaching the Batarian vessel. It is in orbit around a planet and the Captain's signal is on the surface."

Kaidan looked up when Edi said that. "On the surface... what the hell..."

"Edi, run a diagnostic on the following code. I don't know what it's for." Jase sent her the code and got off the floor, starting to pace the cabin. "Is he alone down there? What about Saya?"

"I am detecting multiple lifeforms. It is similiar of Omega. The code appears to be something for the deactivation of an exploding slave chip." Edi responded.

"What? Exploding slave chip?" Jase looked now at Kaidan. Did that mean it was for Saya?

Kaidan looked hopeful.

"If it deactivates the explosive then we can get her out of there without him killing her with it!"

Jase nodded. "How do we deactivate it? We need to Doc Novak for this."

"If it's some kind of club.. we could go in as customers, try to get close to her. Maybe you can do it with your omni-tool?"

"The Major has a good idea, Commander. The signal should be able to be sent via any omni-tool but you must be prepared that he may order her to fight you." Edi chimed in

"Alright, come close, deactivate it. Anestethics?" Now Jase was really glad he hadn't cut off his hair. And how to get her out of there without causing too many problems at once.

"Unknown. They may not work with someone under full control." Edi replied.

Kaidan closed his eyes.

"Jase, I can't fight her..."

"You won't have to, Kaidan. I'll do it. Thanks Edi, that's it for now. I need to discuss this with Doc Novak." 

Jase turned to Kaidan, watching him. "We'll get her out of there. You know your good doctor is a trained infiltrator?"

Kaidan nodded a little.

"I do, Saya doesn't. I uhm... I picked him to kind of watch over her since she has this tendency to always go on the tough missions."

"Well done Kaidan. You have a good eye for talent. Come on. We have the codes, we got a team. Doc's a smart one, he'll figure something out. Go to Jeff, see if you can find out any intel on that place. Layout, guards, exits, entries. Everything that looks important enough to help us." Jase would chat with the doctor in the meantime and then hopefully they could meet up and bring her back home.

Kaidan rubbed his forehead and slowly got up from the bed.

"Right. I'll.. uhm.. Jase I want to come with you when you go."

Jase stopped, scratching his neck, knowing he wanted to take him with him. "Kaidan, can we be 100% sure you won't ... turn ... against us against your will? I know you wouldn't do it willingly."

"How could I? You said you got the chip out right? You did didn't you?!?!"

"Doc got it out, yes. I just.. Forget I said this."

Kaidan raised an eyebrow then went up to the cockpit and Joker.

"You guys will definitely have to be undercover for this one. Edi's detecting all kinds of weapons down there - looks like this place is the New Omega..." Joker said to Kaidan when he entered.

"Great... just great...," Kaidan muttered  


Meanwhile, Jase had a chat with Dr. Novak and had him coming up with a few anestethics. Those who would look like drunk and a bit out of it but rendering Saya unable to fight them off, if needed. The good doctor would go with them and Jase felt better that he did. Having him watching their backs was good and comforting. Kasumi giving them another form of backup was a calming thought as well.

The other codes were security codes and as soon as they had figured out one was for the ship itself Jase had Edi making use of it.

"Alright, what exactly is waiting for us down there," Jase hit the comm, talking to Jeff, Kaidan and Edi while getting back up to his cabin, having to get ready for their "party".

"Kaidan's kind of describing is like Omega times Purgatory." Joker commed back to Jase. "Not a good combination."

"Agreed. Let's dub it New Omega then. Clientele is of mixed races?" Jase asked, wondering what to pick. Something he wouldn't wear normally, like a... pirate outfit, looking gruff and dirty. Like back on earth, in his gang.

"Affirmative Commander. And she's right in the middle of them," Joker replied.

"She's the trophy," Jase growled softly as he took out a shirt and ripped off the arms. He smashed it between his hands, hoping to get some wrinkles into it.

"What's the number," he asked as he took out a black jeans, cut some holes into it and ripped them open. The belt went into the loops. Old sneakers, ragged ones, would do it. There was a rather new pair on board as he had worn them when coming to the Normandy. He took them out, used a pencil and smeared some black across them. There was some black on his fingers from the marker and he brushed it over his cheeks. Jase stopped, if he could borrow Saya's colour box?

"Oh... you know... at least 80..." Joker said, worry in his voice.

"That's... a lot," Jase said, looking at himself in the mirror. The hair was too neatly combed and he wet it, ruffling it apart, giving it a wild look. Twenty people for each of them, piece of cake. Not. 

"Why are people going there, what's their business?"

"From what I can tell, Shepard... They are there to sample the merchandise before it is auctioned off. I believe the Captain is the... Entertainment." Edi spoke up.

"What kind of merchandise?" Jase just hoped it didn't mean what he thought it meant. Slavery, prostitution and more. Weapons were more of his interest. And drugs? Well, he had some basic first hand knowledge.

"It appears to be weapons," Edi answered.

"Let me guess, the merchandise is also stored there," Jase sighed, could it become more complicated? He could sabotage a few, but on the people carrying weapons. Aside of this, drop a bomb and blow the place into hell? Not before innocents were out of the equation. 

"Any bars down there? Other entertainment besides my sister?"

"It appears there are several bars and only one source of entertainment." Edi said.

Jase was on the way to meet up with Kaidan, Jeff and Edi on the bridge. When he entered the room he said, "Show me the layout Edi."

Once he had figured out a way on how to do this, Jase knew he had to brief the crew, Kasumi and their doctor. "Mark Saya's place and the bars."

Edi did as Jase asked of her.

"This is as complete as I can make it Commander," she said.

Kaidan was examining it.

"This is really not gonna be easy..."

Jase sighed, he had hoped it would be on different levels. Instead it was one giant place with different wings, each containing a bar, storage units and even rooms. And the entertainment unit was right in the middle with the Captain next to Saya.

"Not easy but it can be done." They had a few options. Slay the way silently into it, mix up their alcohol to get them sleepy, throw some gas grenades, but that would be too obvious.

"Show me the guards Edi. How tight is their security? Weapons allowed in there?" And where was their generator and main energy coming from?

"Unknown Commander. I cannot get that specific of readings. There is some kind of shielding."

"Origin? Where's their energy source, generators, anything that looks like it." And if they couldn't find out now, Jase knew Kasumi would track it down and sabotage it.

When Jase looked at Kaidan, he realized those batarians probably recognized Kaidan. The man hadn't shaved yet, had a bit of a rough look but Jase figured, he should change his hair color and style. Including some contact lenses to change the eyecolor.

"I will attempt to locate it while you prepare yourselves for infiltration." Edi said.

Kaidan looked at Jase again.

"We can't wait too long... who knows what this 'entertainment' entails."

"We need to get it done. Alright. Do we have any hair coloring equipment on board? Contact lenses? They'll recognize you, Kaidan. Back on earth, we sometimes used to dye our hair red. We were the Tenth Street Reds. As soon as they think we're from the Alliance this will be over." He pointed at himself and what he was already wearing.

"This isn't filthy enough. I need to find some more dirt."

"I... I think Saya has some colouring supplies. I'll go get it done.."

"Got enough to get my hairends red too?"

"I'm sure there is enough." Kaidan left the bridge and went to the cabin. When he came back a little while later his hair was the same colour as Saya's and his eyes were a bright green.

"How's this?"

Jase in the meantime had gotten some red into his hair ends and had spoken to Doctor Novak about creating a drug they could slip into food, drink and perhaps even administer it via the air vents.

Jase turned around and looked at him, for a second he was baffled just how different the man looked. 

"Good enough. Let's go."  


Irimsaya tried to close her eyes but couldn't. The damned Batarian had ordered her to keep them open, so she could see everything they were doing to her. She had cuts and bruises from where some of the patrons had abused her and now she was lying on the bar, liquid on her stomach, while some of the aliens filled their glasses from there. She winced internally when one of them had the nerve to lick her side and ribs before getting his drink. Everyone in the bar was laughing at her, their newest trophy... and there wasn't a thing she could do about it.  


Jase was sitting close by a bar, having had a drink and was smoking a cigarette. Just for the hell of it. It had been years since he had touched them and right now, the look, smell and appearance fit the whole thing he needed. There was a fresh bruise forming on his cheek, he just had gotten into an argument about some booze with a guy next to him. The guy wasn't that lucky right now, nursing a lot more than just a bruise on his cheek. He looked at Kaidan who was looking at Saya, watching her. Not that he could blame him, but it might be drawing attention. Jase nudged him, shoving another glass of alcohol at him. Just to pretend.

There was a whisper in his ear that everything was done and Jase saw a flicker to their left, knowing it was Kasumi. Jase took the drink and wandered over to the entertainment unit. On the way he got rid of the cigarette, keeping his eyes on the woman.

His alter ego.

Glass nearly empty he figured he should get a refill and Saya was the bar, literarily. Suppressing the disgust at this he went and filled the glass up, taking a drink. The stomach was burning and churning, but Jase had no choice but to pretend he was enjoying what he saw.

"Who's the owner of her?" Jase asked into the round, making the impression of someone very relaxed, happily drunk and horny. With the help of thinking of Jeff, that was even working.

The Batarian captain came forward.

"Why? Do you like what you see?" He laughed. "Do you not know who she is? This... *this* is the first human Spectre. And my slave."

Irimsaya cheered on the inside, she had recognized Jase's voice right away, but her mind was her prison.

Jase laughed, "Is she? Not much good that did her, huh. Bunch of losers," Jase waved a dismissing hand at her. "Bod's good to look at, you renting her out?"

"I'm letting her rest for now. As you can see I've already 'rented' her out several times." He eyed Jase. "But if you prove yourself, perhaps I can let you have her for a little while. Harm her."

He raised his eyebrows at this. "Nice amount of creds nothing for you? Must have cost a fortune getting her here."

The Batarian narrowed his eyes at Jase.

"You misunderstand. We have yet to discuss a price. I need proof of your loyalty first. If you do not harm her I can only assume you are an enemy here to try and save her. And if I assume that, then you die."

"I like the way you think," Jase replied with a chuckle and emptied the glass completely. "Alright, bring it on."

The Batarian stared at him in surprise then motioned to some nearby men.

"Kill him! He's here for the girl!" He grabbed Saya's arm and hauled her to her feet, not caring when the liquid that was on her stomach slopped all over the place. "You will come with me slave."

Irimsaya's eyes were on Jase as the patrons converged on him but when she was ordered to follow her master... she did

"Asshole!" Jase yelled after him, "Of course I'm here for the girl. Way to ruin my night! Get your fucking hands off me, you idiots!" Jase quickly punched out one of the patrons, kicking the next into the lower abdomen and grabbed the third to use him as a shield.

"Your boss is an idiot, losing a nice bunch of creds." The knife was on the alien's throat, addressing the rest of them. 

"I want that woman, for a god damn fucking night! What you do with her afterwards is of no interest to me. 50.000 creds for each of you getting me her. That's what your boss would have gotten out of this deal." Jase told them, wondering if they would accept.

The Batarian returned slowly with Saya following obediently behind him.

"How many creds did you just say?"

Jase chuckled, finding this amusing. "Can't do any basic math either, huh? 200.000 creds for a whole night with her." Jase looked at Saya, licking his lips while eying her up and down. "And the morning," he drawled.

"You have an agreement. Do not attempt to take her from this locale though or her head will explode. I am not taking any chances with her, she is too valuable. But just to instill some extra obedience for you..."

Saya let out a blood-curdling scream of agony before falling to her knees, her head bowed and breathing hard.

"Feel free to harm her if you so desire. And if you try to deactivate the chip you will be hunted down and your head will become my trophy."

"Got it," Jase said, watching the woman he had acquired for the night. He brought up his omni-tool, transfering the credits to the batarian. Then he went to her and roughly brought her up to stand, grabbed her face and forced a kiss onto her. He could hear the others laugh. Good.

"That way, slave," he said, nodding towards the rented room. "Move it."

His right hand then rested on her butt cheek, touching it. "Nice ass, slave. Might take a bite of it." 

Jase grinned into the round as more laughter erupted and he pushed her a bit more forward, finally passing the crowd. "For the one you're supposed to be you're damn lame on your feet."

Another acted push and they were finally through the door, closing behind them. Jase wasted no time, brought up his omni-tool and deactivated the explosive in her head.

"Play the record, Kaidan," Jase ordered and the room was soon filled with groans, moans, yelps, some screams and slaps, including background music. The duct higher up on the wall opened and Kasumi and the Doc appeared.

Irimsaya just stood there, not moving.

"Wow she looks bad..." Kasumi muttered.

Jase nodded and everyone else could see it too. One look at the others and everyone knew they weren't going to wait this out. Doc Novak got his bag, removed the items he needed while Kaidan got a shirt and pants, dressing Saya into them.

"Ready?" Arlen asked and Jase nodded at him. Arlen injected Saya a tranquilizer which acted quick. Kaidan caught his wife and Jase gave him a helping hand while Kasumi was watching the door. Doc crawled back into the duct, followed by Kaidan and Jase got Saya up there, handing her over.

Their soundfile was still playing and Jase moved some furniture, covering up their tracks before he slipped into the duct and closed it. For a moment he doubled over, stomach cramping again and then he moved carefully along.

Kaidan dragged Saya through the ducts as gently as he could, not wanting to add to the other injuries that were so obvious to him. It was taking all his control not to go back there and shoot every being in that place. One look at Jase's face told him the other man was feeling the same way he was, which surprised Kaidan in a way. He knew that Jase cared for Saya deeply, like a brother, but he had no idea that Jase loved her like a brother should.

At a cross road Kasumi took another way and Jase nodded at her before continuing down the narrow duct with the others. The air was stale and warm, making him feel hot once again. As soon as they were nearly out of this duct Jase radioed her, "Flood the place, Kasumi."

The way back to the shuttle wasn't long, luckily. At least the ducts had proven to be helpful; their exit lay hidden away. Cortez had sat the shuttle down behind rocks and Jase picked Saya up, carrying her inside.

Doc Novak was working on her in a flash, kneeling at her side while Jase stood at the door, waiting for Kasumi to return. Just in case he had drawn his gun, eyes scanning their area. Suddenly she de-cloaked right next to him, startling Jase for a second before he punched the wall, giving Steve the signal to take them back to the Normandy.

"They are in for a nice surprise once they wake up," Kasumi told him and Jase just nodded at her.

Kaidan was barely paying attention to them as he sat with Saya and Novak, gently stroking his wife's hair.

"They didn't have me as long as they had her doc... she was doing everything they asked her to..."

Arlen nodded. "They're vicious bastards, Commander. So far she's stable. I'll get the chip out of her as soon as we are on the Normandy."

"I should have blown that place into hell," Jase commented.

"I would've joined you for it." Kaidan's voice was shaking as he took in the bruises and cuts on Saya's body. "Doc.. did... is there any way you can tell if... I mean... did anyone have her..."

Jase looked at Kaidan, knowing what he meant. The Captain had said he had rented her out. And he had given her to him, would that mean he already had done so before?

Arlen scanned all the bruises and cuts and whatever else there was. The question from Kaidan was justified, slaves like her, were usually... He cut out those thoughts and scanned. Scanned again, just to be sure. There were signs of violence, even bruises. But everything was outside, nothing invasive.

"No sir, they didn't. They... touched her, but didn't invade," Arlen answered as he sat back onto his heels, getting his racing heart back under control. Didn't violate her, unlike so many others. And yet he was sure they would have, eventually. Maybe even on this very day.

The blue eyes were on the Doctor's face, studying it. Jase knew what he saw, there was a story to this man, like so many others had their own story, like he himself had his story too. The eyes travelled on, resting on Saya's pale face. The red hair made her look even more pale, it was sweaty and dirty though. Kasumi was sitting in corner, barely visible, blending in and her knees were drawn up. And Kaidan was caressing his wife's face.

Jase stood up and brought a blanket over for the doc, nodding at him before he went to sit down next to Cortez. The place was all too familiar and even soothing, but it wasn't Jeff. His omni-tool flared into life and he sent a message to the Normandy, letting Edi know she can hack into the account again and negate the transfered credits and that they had Saya.

Kaidan nearly fainted with relief when the doctor said they hadn't. He had been so scared.

"With everything they did - will you be able to get the chip out without any... mm... side effects? I mean, I wasn't obeying their commands yet but she was. She was." He trailed off, he'd always thought her stronger than him.

"Up until today there was not one single patient who left my surgery with a chip. Or with any kind of severe damage left behind. The damage lives on in them, in their memories, sir." Arlen answered quietly, but determined.

Kaidan bowed his head and closed his eyes.

"Yeah that much I know... UNH!" He cried out in surprise as Saya suddenly came to life and threw him against the far bulkhead.

"Return me," she growled out. "Return me to my master!"

"Shep! A little help back here!" Kasumi yelled to the front as she tried to grab Saya but was also thrown off.

Kaidan ran back to his wife and tried to get her lying down again but found himself pinned under her, her hands around his throat, cutting off his air. He couldn't hurt her... not even to save his own life.

Doc Arlen laid sprawled on the floor as Jase quickly stepped over him, having no time to check if the man was alright or not. Saya was killing Kaidan and he needed to stop it, having barely time to think of what he was about to do. Jase grabbed one of her hands, distracting her. When she looked at him Jase punched her to knock her out.

Saya stumbled back as she was punched, but it didn't knock her out. She stood up to face her attacker a fresh bruise already appearing on her face.

"You will return this property NOW!" She sent a kick towards Jase's head.

Kaidan gasped and coughed as he sucked in much needed air before getting up and grabbing Saya around her waist from behind, trying desperately to stop the kick that could prove fatal to the other Shepard because of his wife's implants. 

Irimsaya yelled in rage as the kick was diverted and she rammed herself back into the bulkhead, slamming Kaidan hard against it and making him cry out in pain from the force of the impact.

"SAYA, try to stop it!" Jase yelled at her, knowing it wasn't her doing this. But he knew it was futile right now. 

"Forgive me," he just said, trying to knock her out again. The punch hit harder this time than before and Jase shook his hand after this.

Kaidan caught her as she slid down, unconscious once more.

"I thought we were out of range... what's going on??" He looked at Jase in concern. "She... she would have killed me if you hadn't... thank you..."

"Thank you too, Kaidan. I don't know, maybe it's brainwashing, or instructions planted into her in case we bring her back home." Jase rubbed his head and went to see how their Doctor was doing. The man was out cold. 

"Anything we can use to restrain her? Don't want her to tear us apart again."

Kaidan winced at the thought of having to restrain his own wife.

"I don't think we have anything on board the shuttle.."

"Alright, you and Kasumi take Doc Novak and join Steve in the cockpit. Seal the doors and inform the Normandy. I'll stay here."

"By yourself? I don't think that's wise Jase.." Kaidan's worry was evident.

"I know," Jase answered, then he looked at Kaidan. He knew Kaidan thought he wouldn't know. "You were the one having to throw a barrier around your wife the last time. Let's just say I have no intent of killing her. She and I are on par with our fighting skills." Jase nodded towards the cockpit. "I'll survive the next 15 minutes."

Kaidan hesitated then moved to help Kasumi with the good doctor, sealing the door behind them. Saya stirred a bit with a small moan.

Jase knelt down behind her and secured her arms behind her back while shoving her folded legs under the seat and got her head to rest on the seat itself. It was one way to narrow down her ability to move. He was holding her tightly so she wouldn't try anything. He did guess she would wake up soon, but this was sooner than he had thought.

"Saya, try to relax."

There were tears on her cheeks.

"Help....me..." She mumbled out then screamed in agony as the chip sensed her fighting its control.

Jase kissed her hair a little before he held her tightly when she screamed. "If you can, try to relax, fall asleep. Count sheep if you have to, hum a children's song."

Suddenly there was a song in his mind, the tune pressing forward into his conscious thoughts but no words or title. He started humming it to her, knowing his mother used to sing this to him. He had hurt himself bad, was angry and crying and she had started to sing this. Jase tightened the hold on her hands when Saya tried to struggle free from time to time. Jase just kept humming this.

Saya moaned as Jase hummed the tune. It was familiar somehow and she closed her eyes, trying to fight the chip's control as hard as she could.

Saya's face was resting on the seat and Jase laid his head next to her hear, whispering to her from time to time. 

"It's alright. I love you sis," he said before he continued with the song, adjusting her hands, pressing her further into the seat to keep her legs trapped under it. There was a buck here and there, a shove, a try to hit him with the head but Jase was fast.

Everytime she did this he told Saya it's alright and will be. Jase felt than rather saw how exhausted she was, body and mind. But soon she would be home, back with her children and resting, overcoming the stress of all of it. Soon all of them would be back home.

The rumble of the shuttle told him they had finally made it to the Normandy. For a second Jase wanted to close his eyes, breathe a sigh of relief but he knew he couldn't risk it. If she sensed a weakness she might be forced into doing something.

"The minute you let me go you're all dead Jase." The warning actually came from Saya herself and not the programming. He needed to know that the control would kick in and force her to kill anyone who was not her master.

"The explosive chip is deactivated," Jase told her, knowing she'd know doc Novak will remove the thing. "How can we prevent the rest?"

"You...you can't... I'll turn on you... Jase... kill me..."

"No Saya," he whispered. Once doc Novak was back on his feet they'd remove it. Be done with it. The doors from the cockpit opened, at the same time the shuttle door opened as well and a few soldiers stood there, armed. Jase could hear the soft surr of Sophie walking around in the hangar as everyone else was holding their breath.

"Doc, you alright?" Jase asked, hoping the man was back on his feet.

"Fine, sir." And Jase knew right away he wasn't. But there was no time for a break.

"Saya says as soon as she's free she'll kill. She's programed to. You all know what to do," Jase told them.

Arlen came forward with another dose of the sedative.

Saya yelled in rage and shoved back with all her might, her body becoming the weapon it had been designed and trained to be. She kicked Novak as soon as her legs were free then tried to flip Jase over her head.

The sedative flew out of Arlen's hands once more and he saw a flash of Jase when he struggled to get back onto his feet. He had to get her sedated.

Jase grunted under the attempt of her attack and suddenly both of them were facing off, circling the narrow room of the shuttle.

"Stand down! Everybody, stand down!" Jase yelled, eyes on Saya. No way he was going to agree to having her shot. They would find a way, they always did. She would attack first, he knew it. She was the one needing to break free from them, not him. Saya had been tired before, they all had seen it. Jase had felt it himself just a few minutes ago.

"Didn't you know? I bought you from your master, for the whole night and morning. You still belong to me." Jase tried another route. "Obey me."

Irimsaya blinked as the chip processed that but she still circled him, not yet believing it.

"This slave did not know. But this slave is supposed to remain on the planet. Why have you removed her."

Now that was new. Jase shrugged, eying her. "You know, that place was too filthy. You needed fresh clothes. And medical care. Your body doesn't look decent."

She eyed him up and down, still not sure whether to believe him or not.

"Then why are you attempting to give this slave an injection."

Saya knew she had tears in her eyes, she couldn't stop the words or actions. Mentally she screamed in frustration.

Jase was thinking fast, he had told her she needed medical care. "You have bite marks on your body. You don't want to risk an infection. Your master would be very upset if he lost you to one."

"He would consider it a punishment for leaving the planet."

She lunged at him.

"Damnit," Jase swore when he saw her leaping at him. And she was good, he found. A lot better than she had been at the beach, more powerful and the blows he couldn't block where hard. The narrow space of the shuttle wasn't forgiving, making it harder for both of them to dodge out of the way.

Where in the end the hand had come from, managing to inject it, Jase couldn't say.

Kaidan caught her as she went down, the syringe falling from his hand as he cushioned her fall.

"Forgive me sweetie." His voice was a whisper.

"Doc! Get that thing out of her. Before she wakes up again." Jase ordered, watching Kaidan with her. 

And then she was gone, whisked off to med-bay and the cargo hold became quiet again. Jase sat down heavily in the shuttle, feeling the pack of cigarettes in his pocket and took it out, taking one. He lit it up and just sat back, eyes closed. Some habits never seemed to change.  


Arlen was quick, got her onto the bed in his med-bay and ordered everyone out. One look at Kaidan told him he wouldn't succeed and his wife had done the same before.

"You can stay, sir." Arlen told him plainly and set up the surgery. 

Step by step he was getting closer to the chip and he started the sequence to shut it off. He was so focused on everything he didn't notice outside had gathered the crew to watch.

_Beep_ \- there it went offline and he breathed a heavy sigh of relief. Now he just had to take it out.

"There's the little bastard."

Kaidan kept his eyes on his wife's face, not able to stomach the idea that the doc had her head open to remove the chip. When she started convulsing on the bed, he looked alarmed.

"Doc??? What's happening??"

Arlen stayed calm and focused, working on this problem. Another failsafe? It had been happening once before, but way back then he had made a mistake. This time, however, he hadn't. 

'No,' he thought, 'no mistake,' while scanning her. The implants were intact, brainwaves were returning to normal now. Arlen was pleased when it stopped, meds kicking in.

"Seizure," he simply said. "Must have caused an overload when deactivating it."

Kaidan let the relief flood his face. She looked so pale and so... hurt. He looked at Arlen and smiled a very little bit.

"Thanks doc... for getting that thing out of her."

Arlen nodded, not saying how satisfying it was every time to take one person back from the slavers. He went and scanned her again, "She'll be asleep for some time."

Then he went ahead to scan Kaidan, checking the implant. "You've been using your biotics, sir. Swelling has gone down though, infection has lessened. Mmh, you're tougher than I thought," he grinned at him a little, then quickly added, "Sir."

The control chip implant laid there in its box on the other side of the room and Arlen went to it, inspecting it. "It's a new model. See this tiny bulge here? That's the explosive," Arlen looked at Kaidan, wondering if he was able to see and willing to follow him.

"That's what it looks like when activated," Arlen said, and the chip produced a needle from its inside. Once the needle was fully visible hooks appeared, who would lodge themselves into the surrounding. Before this thing could enslave someone else, Arlen sealed off the box typed away on his omni-tool and the chip exploded in its container.

"One more soul saved," he said softly to himself.  


Meanwhile, Jase did something stupid. After being done smoking in the shuttle, knowing he wouldn't relax any time soon, he went to the bar, took a few bottles upstairs and got drunk. Like really drunk. There was the nagging thought of just having betrayed the whole ship, his sister, husband and Kaidan. Of not leading them, telling them what to do and where to go next. Or had he given the order already? By the love of it, Jase didn't remember and it had just been a little time ago. Balak had asked for a chat, but Jase simply had told Sam to tell him he'd get in touch with the batarian. "Tell him to write a list, what he wants, needs. I'll see to it later," he had told her.

The music was blaring away loudly, drowning out any thoughts he had and finally, the restlessness he felt gave away to pure exhaustion.  


Kaidan stared at the nasty looking chip before the doctor destroyed it.

"*That* thing was in my wife? And in me?? How... how did you get them out without causing permanent damage??"

Arlen nodded at him. "And in many other people. I learned how to remove them, sir."

Kaidan bowed his head and rubbed the new scar on the back of his skull.

"I hope you do good work then doc. So how long will she be sleeping?"

Arlen scratched his head, "She's been through a trauma, her body and mind needs rest." He considered Saya's situation. "Half a day, maybe more. A day."

Kaidan just nodded slowly and went to sit with his wife.

"Please don't ask me to leave doc..."

"Sir, Commander, I wouldn't ask you to. Your wife insisted on staying at your side too. And, to be honest, waking up to a known face after such a trauma is the best."

"So there won't be any memory loss right? She'll remember.....everything?"

"Unfortunately most people remember most of their time as slaves. Some people forget, some of them intentional. Many have scars for their lives, both mentally and physical. Your wife's time was short, unlike others who were slaves for weeks, months or years," Arlen explained, hoping he had answered the question satisfactory.

"It might have been short... but it was also brutal." Kaidan's voice was quiet. "The pain they must have put her through to get her cooperation... well it would have been a lot more than what they did to me. I'm nowhere near as strong as she is."

Arlen nodded. They always tried breaking people. "The Captain is a strong woman, sir. Your wife's strength can help her through this." But he wasn't sure if he was right or wrong with this, yet he truly believed it. "I believe in her, sir."

"I do too, doc, I'm just worried because of everything she's been through.. that chip wouldn't have had any effect on her other implants would it?"

"The implants appeared to be unaffected when I scanned them." Arlen brought up his omni-tool, scanning her again and nodded. "All are working within parameters and intact, no unusual readings."

Kaidan nodded and gently took Saya's hand in his, gently holding her.

The doctor nodded too, watching them for several seconds until he busied himself with other tasks, taking care of the two asari who he released and trying to convince the turian to allow him the removal of the chip. Which, surprisingly, the alien finally agreed to. Whatever it was that made him change the mind. Arlen could only guess if maybe seeing it being removed a second time had something to do with it.

By the time he was done, Arlen yawned and checked his patients again. Time for some coffee. The Commander seemed to be dozing lightly and their Captain appeared to be still asleep. Scanning both he nodded to himself, they were doing fine, considering the circumstances.

Arlen had no idea what they would like to eat, but they couldn't be too choosy either and he brought over tea, including a few sandwiches. It was surprising their cook managed to scrap such decent food together. Placing all the food on the desk, he watched the married pair and sighed softly to himself.

Saya moaned softly a little bit later, opening her eyes a crack and whimpering when the light hit them.

Upon hearing the moan the Doctor knew she was waking up and had learned the lesson from the Commander's surgery. He quickly lowered the lights again and came to check her over.

Kaidan squeezed her hand gently, watching her. "Saya? Hey," he whispered, finding it hard to keep his hand away from caressing her head and hair. But he knew she'd have a blinding headache.

Saya closed her eyes again.

"W...water?"

Kaidan looked at the Doctor, who nodded and brought it to them. Kaidan took it from him, wanting to help his wife himself and barely found the words. Instead he stayed silent for now, giving her hand a kiss as he helped her to drink.

Irimsaya groaned after a couple of small sips then put her head back on the pillow. She frowned, her eyes still closed.

"Chip...?"

Kaidan was about to reply when Arlen spoke up. "I have removed the chip without complications and destroyed it. I'm expecting a full recovery and want you to rest. If you need anything, I'm at my desk, ma'am."

Kaidan raised his eyebrows a little and looked back at Saya. "It's ah.. gone. He took it out. You're free." Kaidan laid his head carefully next to Saya, just wanting to be closer and gave her cheek a little kiss. Now they just needed their children.

When she opened her eyes again they were tear-filled.

"I tried to kill you." She whispered hoarsely, noting the bruises now on his neck from her hands.

Kaidan only shook his head, once, then another time. It hadn't been her. Instead he gave her another kiss.

Irimsaya pulled away a bit, feeling so guilty she couldn't even look him in the eyes.

"I gave them the new codes for Earth's defences and the Citadel..."

"And I gave them the access codes for the Normandy and Edi," Kaidan sighed, touching her face gently, stroking the cheek a little bit. "The Batarians aren't interested into going to war with the Council or us. Balak's their leader now and he has been helping us getting you out of there. I will inform the Alliance, telling them we got to know a breech of security." Or they could ask Edi to fake a break in, letting them think the codes are compromised.

She closed her eyes at his gentle touch on her face. 

"Your hand feels so good." She mumbled.

"I love you," Kaidan whispered, smiling a little bit. He knew she'd never harm him willingly and had already forgiven her, never having blamed her in the first place.

"Love you too." Saya whispered.

Kaidan rested his head on her bed, eyes closing on their own now that he could finally relax. She was back, right next to him and alive.

It didn't take long before Saya woke again, this time from a nightmare. She lay there gasping and breathing hard, sweat pouring down her face, as she tried to remember where she was. Then it came back to her - she was back on the Normandy. They had managed to rescue her. Something still nagged at her though, but she couldn't place her fingers on it.

Kaidan's head jerked up and for a second he wondered if he could join her on the bed to take her into his arms. If only he could take her upstairs to their bed, which would be a lot more comfortable. "I'm here, Saya," he whispered, gentle fingers tracing her one eyebrow. "We're together."

Irimsaya just nodded a little bit but it was obvious something was bothering her deeply.

"What's... uh.. wrong?" Kaidan asked, wincing a little. Too many things were wrong, went wrong.

"I'm not sure. Everything I guess." Her voice was a whisper, her head still pounding like mad.

Kaidan just nodded, knowing what she meant, but tried to be optimistic. "We have ourselves, our children, family...."

"I know... I know... You know in a way you were lucky.. they didn't put you on display to be patted, beaten... kissed.."

Kaidan closed his eyes, holding her hand and shook his head. "I gave them the codes, allowing them to get you."

Saya looked at him but then back to the ceiling.

"If the pain you went through was anything like I did - then I don't blame you at all."

"I'm sorry for what happened," Kaidan said looking down. "And I don't blame you for... what you were doing. Did, or had to do. It wasn't you. Not by choice and free will."

Saya's eyes moved back to him.

"You might not blame me Kaidan but I blame myself."

"And you might not blame me either, Saya. But I blame myself too," Kaidan told her with a soft sigh. Blame, such a word. "If I hadn't given out the codes... well... you wouldn't have been found nor under attack."

Saya closed her eyes, her head hurting even more now.

"Not gonna argue it Kaidan. Hurting too much."

Kaidan lowered his head, feeling a lot more lousy than before. Reality really was a bitch.

"Kaidan... should you go lie down? Get some rest?" Irimsaya muttered, but there was concern for him in her voice.

"I.. I don't know. I would rather like to stay here, at your side." Kaidan was wondering if things would be like before, if they were going to be fine. Or if it would change both of them too much.

"Hey not pushing you to anything sweetie, do what you want. Not complaining about the company at all." She groaned as she tried to get comfortable.

Kaidan yawned and nodded. If only he could already take her back up to their cabin. It would be a lot more comfortable for both of them. "Can't wait to hold our children in my arms again."

"Yeah." Saya closed her eyes, a pang in her heart. "Yeah..."

Kaidan moved closer, resting his head again close to her. "They're fine," he yawned. "We should call home later."

Irimsaya silently and painfully brought her one arm up and used her hand to gently caress his face.

"Get some sleep. Consider that an order Commander." She smiled weakly.

Kaidan nodded, kwowing he'd be sore and stiff in some places later. A few hours of sleep would be good.


	5. Five

"Jeff, I love you," came the voice from Jase over the comm, "wanna go home with you."

Joker looked down at the comms, startled.

"Uhh Edi, take the helm will you? And where is he?"

"He is in your quarters Jeff."

"Thanks."

Joker got up and went to their quarters to see what was going on.

The music already greeted Jeff through the closed door and Jase was annoyed with it by now, tossing his shoe at it.

Joker came in as the shoe was tossed.

"Jase?"

Jase had the decency now to get up and turn it down. And it was obvious he was drunk. The air smelled after smoke too and a part of his brain was glad there was no Red Sand to be had on this ship anywhere. Otherwise he would have raided that as well.

"Hi," Jase only said, not knowing if he should smile, look ashamed or berate himself for this mess.

Joker's eyes were wide with shock.

"What... how... what... what are you doing??"

There was an answer in his mind but as soon as he wanted to tell Jeff what he was doing, it was gone. Instead Jase looked at him, many questions in his mind among something else and he shrugged. And suddenly the answer came back.

"Relaxing...," he trailed off, rubbing his eyes, causing them to become swollen and even more red. 

"Trying.... to relax." Jase thought about it and nodded eventually, "Yeah, trying to relax. Maybe it's working. I don't know. Who's to say it does. Yeah. Relaxing."

"*This* is how you relax??? *THIS*??" Joker was confused and upset. "Why didn't you just ask me to come down? Why? I would have! This... this is just... wow..."

Jase pulled a face and sat back down onto the couch, a small pout on his face and he rubbed the eyes again. He knew Jeff was right.

"Aged 12, 13, 14, 15. Drugs, alcohol, smoking, robbing, black mailing. Fighting for creds."

Joker shook his head a bit.

"That's not who you are anymore Jase! If it was I wouldn't be married to you!"

Now he was glad he hadn't told him of the dead kid. 

"Too easy to slip back into the role. I was one of them. It's part of me, who I am. All those bastards on New Omega, all of them. That's who I was!" Jase closed his eyes and laid his head back. It was still in him, it was a part of him. Even after all that time.

"I kissed her, grabbed her butt, made them laugh at her." Jase shook his head. "No feelings, no regret, nothing. I just did it. I'm ashamed. I've been... broadcasting my wishes upon her. My career becomes hers. My family becomes hers. My life becomes hers. Pushed her, wanted to force her. I just.. one of us. If it isn't me. Then her. I lost Kaidan again and I humiliate her in the end."

Joker found himself just staring at Jase in shock.

"YOU DID WHAT??"

"Kissed her, grabbed her butt. They had to think I was there to rent her." Jase said calmly, wondering where this was going to lead now with half of his brain shutting down.

To say Joker was disgusted was putting it mildly.

"You could have let Kaidan do that! He was there for pity's sake!"

"They knew his face. Didn't want to risk them figuring it out. Didn't want Kaidan to snap! Wanted to get her out of there, that hell hole of a place! That goddamn filthy and sick hole!"

Joker slowly went over to him, confused and wary.

"Jase, tell me what exactly is going through your mind right now."

When Jeff sat down, Jase laid his head onto his shoulder. 

"Could have been me. One of those sick bastards. Could have been me, instead of Saya. Born as a woman? Yeah, could have been me, too. I've been.... pushing her to go back to the Alliance. Used my influence. Pushing my own expectations of my life onto her. Because... everything's been gone and. Kaidan wouldn't have me, instead I kind of pushed them together. Made sure they got to meet in our apartment on the Citadel while we were hunting the giant bugs. What I couldn't have or get, she needed to do it, get it. Whatever. I... I think that was wrong. I've been pushing her into a corner. She might not want to be there. She took my life away and I took hers away....She's right. You know? She should have done all of that. Here.. in this world. And I, should have done all of that in my world Yeah. And then. Then I kissed myself. And grabbed my own butt. She's me and I'm her and sometimes, it's hard to get it where she starts and I end. Drunk." Jase shrugged. "I babble when drunk."

"Actually... it kind of makes sense in a weird way..."

"Mh. Think so?" The eyes were burning madly and he kept them closed.

"Yeah I think so, I really do." Joker responded.

Jase nodded, Jeff was always smarter than others thought and bent forward, stomach cramping again. At least it seemed to happen less frequently and was less painful. "Glad you think so, Jeff."

Joker watched him for a minute.

"Have you talked to the Doc about this stomach of yours?"

"Yeah, gave me some meds. Said I was running a fever too." Jase nodded, leaving out the fact that he'd been seeing him when Kaidan just had been back.

Nodding, Joker gently put an arm around his shoulders.

"Maybe you should get some sleep.."

"Yeah," Jase cuddled into the offered embrace. "It's all that stress. The attack, Kaidan gone, Saya heartbroken. Getting Kaidan back, losing Saya. Threatening our home, the twins." Jase sighed, "Still have to help the batarians."

And now he suddenly remembered where they were flying to. Thessia, dropping off the two Asari. Until then they both could get some shut eye. "How long till we reach Thessia?"

"A couple of days, not too long. Why?"

"Long," Jase yawned, not giving in to tell him that all he wanted was to go back home. It sounded way too whiny. "Their Relay's still offline?"

"For the moment yeah. Which totally sucks."

Jase actually started to laugh at this. "'Asari. They have finally mastered writing.' Javik said something like this. They should have listened to Liara's father. She wanted to build Mass Relays." Jase looked at his husband then, wanting to kiss him but threw that thought away. He smelled badly after smoke and booze and something else.

"I'll rest, for you. But I.. well. Need a shower first and brush my teeth."

"Then get a move on because I'm not leaving here until I see you in bed and under the blankets."

Jase nodded, "Yes Sir." And got up, swaying a little. 

Jeez. Drunk and being tired never worked well together. 

"I'm fine, I'm fine," he muttered, reaching the tiny bathroom. Even that cell felt totally cramped now compared to their luxury of a bathroom they had at home. He quickly got rid of the clothes and threw the onto the floor in a pile, getting under the shower. For a moment he was surprised when the water turned red but then Jase remembered why. The color of his hair. The blasted red was disappearing out of his hair. It felt like washing away part of the past once more.

Towel wrapped around his middle Jase stepped out of the bathroom and looked down at Jeff. "Gonna ask doc if he can take care of this," Jase pointed at the scars, the message they had carved into his chest.

Joker got up, watching Jase's chest.

"Yeah I've been meaning to ask you about that..."

Jase looked down at himself, fingering it. "What's the question?"

"What is it, why do you have it, all those kinds of questions."

"Reminder of my failure. Not being able to beat them. Prevent it from happening. It's been the message for Saya, telling her they had Kaidan. It's humiliating, every time someone sees me they know I failed."

Joker grimaced a little bit.

"Sleep then doc then please if you don't mind, I don't want you living with that."

"Yeah. I will do that. I'll definitely do that." Jase yawned and laid down.

Joker smiled as he watched Jase lie down and close his eyes immediately. Then he looked around the room and sighed at the mess. Slowly he began to clean it up.

When Jase woke up he felt more groggy than before and it wasn't just from the hangover he now had to nurse. He was freezing cold, bones heavy and half under Jeff's blanket for extra warmth. The room smelled different too and with a heavy heart he realized Jeff must have cleaned up. His mess. Again. Jase groaned. Hand brushing over his chest and the scar pelts he suddenly hissed. That was certainly different and painful.

Joker came out of the washroom they shared and watched him for a second.

"Good morning.."

"Morning, tiger. Ship's okay? Damn cold in here," Jase said quietly. The urge to stay in bed was increasing rapidly which in itself was scaring. Staying willingly in bed was, simply put, not good in his books.

"As Edi would say - the ship is functioning within normal parameters. But more concerned about you to be honest - you really scared me last night."

Jase nodded and sighed softly. "I'm sorry. I mean that," he whispered. "Slipping back into my old self.. that role. It was too easy."

"Maybe so but I can tell you one thing: I don't like seeing you like that. I love you but that was just... it wasn't the man I love."

Jase just nodded a bit and looked grumpy for a second. The cotton wool in his head wasn't making it easier to form a coherent sentence either, but he wanted to discuss this with Jeff. "If we had met when I was 15 and like this, maybe even kite high, you wouldn't have wanted me."

"I would have wanted you to clean up, that's all. But I find when people get the way you were last night... well a lot of them become violent."

Jase smiled a little bit at the answer. "Could have needed you back then. Yeah, people get violent. They even kill without wanting it."

"Yeah - I kind of figured that out from your dreams last night."

'Great, you really need to stop talking while sleeping,' Jase thought as he slowly sat up, knowing he should pay the doctor a visit. When he looked at the scars, they were swollen and red. But Chakwas had taken care of them. 'Why now?', Jase wondered.

"I didn't want to kill him. They got me drunk and.. hell. I was thirteen. A child and drunk. They said I won, gave me some creds for it. Days later he died from the injuries."

Joker looked confused.

"What are you talking about? I was just saying that you tend to... well thrash around when you're having nightmares."

"I didn't hurt you, did I?!" Jase looked at him, trying to see if he had accidently cracked or broken any bones.

"Just a few bruises, nothing to worry about."

"Bad enough...," Jase slowly got up, not knowing how to respond to the other thing. The room was definitely way too cold for his likes.

Joker went to him and looked him over a bit.

"You sure you're okay?"

He shrugged a bit and leaned into Jeff's touch. "Cold hands," he whispered and suddenly it dawned on him. "I'm having a fever..? I should go, see the Doc."

With a raised eyebrow Joker nodded.

"Go. Now. Please, don't make me worry bout you."

"Going, sir. At once." Jase leaned forward, carefully giving his forehead a kiss.  


Whatever the Doctor was saying, it didn't fully register with him. For once Novak wasn't babbling and Jase could have sworn the man wanted to say something when he saw him first, but instead ushered him onto the closest bed. Jase glanced from time to time at Saya and Kaidan, while Novak was busy with him. Doc looked like he had a plan.

Jase hissed when the Doc was scraping some of the scars and took a sample from them. He could have sworn the skin around it was going to explode. Not good. Red. Possible blood poisoning now. Why? Chakwas had done her work. A hand on his shoulder pushed him down onto the bed and Jase stared at Novak.

"Lay down, before you keel over."

'No shit,' Jase thought. He was bossing him around now. The retort that he was still in charge didn't make it over the lips, instead he simply complied.

"Should have caught that earlier, you idiot. Something was up and you didn't catch it," Novak berated himself, while studying the sample. One look at the Commander showed him the man was asleep.

Saya struggled to sit up and found Kaidan's gentle hands helping her. She forced a small smile to her lips for him in thanks then turned her attention to her brother.

"Doc? Is he okay?" She asked, her head was still pounding and she was getting tired of it.

Novak sighed, shaking his head a little. For as good a Doctor he was this was not acceptable. And he had completely missed checking over those scars.

"He will be. Now that I understand what's going on. The scars on his body? They're fresh. There are injection marks on them. Whoever did this made sure it would act slowly. Here, if you want to see for yourself."

Novak made room for her to see, noting Kaidan showed up as well. "Those capsules? They're tiny, but filled with poison. They're slowly breaking, one by one."

"Can you stop them??" Irimsaya was more than worried and she felt Kaidan's arm go around her shoulders gently to support her.

"I'm working on it, ma'am. Those unbroken I will remove in a minute." Novak knew she said he could call her by the name but right now he was too busy.

"From when is this?" Kaidan wondered.

"They're a few days old. Those scars on his body where properly treated but now they're breaking up again. It must have been injected into them." Arlen sighed and shook his head. The tests were on the way and soon he could help even more with the poison already in his body.

"He came to me two days ago and complained about a "Hell of a headache". Upon pressing him he confessed still having an upset stomach from the gas. His temperature was already elevated and..."

"Wait," Kaidan cut in, "from the gas? That goes back several days, when they kidnapped me." Kaidan looked at Saya in disbelief.

Just then came a groan from the bed and Jase made a dash past them, towards the closest restroom. Which was the woman's one, but right now he didn't care.

Irimsaya watched him go, worry in her eyes.

"Doc... this has been in his system since then? Why wasn't it detected before now?"

Arlen lowered his head. "Yes. I will test them, see what's causing it not showing up on a scan. I did a scan, ma'am. But they weren't showing anywhere. I.. have no other explanation right now, only that I haven't looked closely enough obviously."

Kaidan rubbed Saya's back gently. "I haden't noticed anything, just yesterday. He seemed.. weird. Once I thought I saw him having a cramp but when I looked closer, it seemed like he'd been hunching over his drink."

Arlen just thought he should go and look after his patient. "Ah, excuse me. I better go and look after my patient."

Kaidan looked at Saya. "I don't know Saya. We were busy following the ship you were on."

"Mmh... maybe it explains why he kissed me." Saya said quietly then rubbed her head.

Kaidan rubbed his hands and didn't know what to say at first. Aside of feeling kind of jealous and angry, at himself about this. "I.. uhm. Saya, if he let me get close, I don't think I could have held back and not beat them. Jase feared they might know who I am."

The door then opened and Arlen came with Jase's arm slung around his shoulder, half dragging a complaining Jase inside. "Just a hangover Doc. I'm fine."

"No," Arlen replied sternly, "you're not. This isn't from the hangover. You're as sick as a dog."

"Hmph. Yeah I miss my dog," Jase muttered, then he spotted Saya. "Sis, help?"

"Ahhh no Jase, you're gonna get looked after because this is not just a hangover. Please trust me on this that you need his help. Joker would kill me if I said otherwise and I need him as a pilot..."

Jase nodded, closing his eyes for a second which stayed closed longer than he had wanted to. Somehow he managed to shake off Arlen's hands and went to Saya, giving her a hug, heat radiating off his body. The word sorry was on his lips.

Saya gently pulled away, surprised at how hot the man felt.

"Jase - bed. Now. And you can consider that an order if that's what it'll take."

There was a tuck on his arms and Arlen pulled the Commander along, back to the bed. Jase just nodded at her, wanting to say 'yes mom,' but it didn't come out either. Now Jeff was really going to worry and he didn't like that at all. As soon as he laid down he was out like a light again, having fallen asleep.

Arlen sighed very softly to himself and started to work on the scars. Those were causing an infection and the sooner he treated them, the better. And he needed to get the other doses of poison out of the body. He set to work and looked at the pair watching him.

"Flight Lieutenant Moreau is listed as his husband?"

"That's correct doctor." Saya replied and leaned into Kaidan's arm for support, she was starting to feel weak herself but knew it was just because of her ordeal.

Arlen nodded, he might have a chat with his husband later. Once he had taken care of everything. 

"And you are his sister and brother in law. Captain, you need to rest. Please." Arlen nearly begged her and turned back to Jase, not wasting any time. He checked the temperature again, noting it hadn't gone back down and started to work on the scars. 

Arlen carefully cleaned the wounds, he was surprised how this had become infected so fast and wondered why. From a shower it couldn't be and everything else on the Normandy was usually extremely clean.

Kaidan carefully rubbed Saya's back. The Doctor was so focused Kaidan figured if he took Saya upstairs to their cabin he wouldn't even notice it.

Saya rested her eyes on her brother for a moment longer then let Kaidan usher her to their cabin before the doctor could even notice or say anything against it.

Once inside Kaidan heaved a big sigh of relief. "Finally."

"I take it you've wanted to be back in here for awhile?" Saya asked him while she looked around the cabin, almost as if she didn't remember some things.

Kaidan nodded, watching her. Healing would go better when sleeping in the own bed. "We don't have any privacy in med-bay." Which was the only thing he said right now and then Kaidan sat down onto the couch, rubbing his neck. For a moment he wondered if he could use his biotics now.

Irimsaya turned to where he was sitting then silently joined him and moved so she could put her hands on his neck, gently massaging the spot that he had been rubbing a moment ago.

Kaidan smiled a very little bit and sighed softly at the touch but didn't allow it to go on for too long. Instead he turned around, took her hands off his neck and took her into an embrace.

Closing her eyes she tried desperately not to stiffen in his arms, but knew she hadn't succeeded as her body tensed up.

"Sorry." Saya whispered. "I'm sorry.."

"No.. No, I'm sorry," Kaidan said softly, a bit puzzled. There was the hint of a frown on his face and he wondered why it had been okay when Jase had hugged her. "I just thought I could.. give you.. some sense of security."

Saya closed her eyes and took a deep breath. How could she tell him that contact of any kind was a bit alarming to her - even when Jase had hugged her, she had wanted to run away, to flee from them all.

"I know Kaidan, I'm sorry. I just... I don't know how to describe it. They ran their hands over my body, they... they didn't 'take' me as theirs but that Batarian captain... he.. he kissed me...stroked me.. told me I would never be truly free again - whatever that meant..."

Kaidan nodded, moving a bit on the couch, getting a tiny bit away from her to give her room. He needed to sort this out in his head, to understand it. Obviously there wasn't a lot to process and he would have prefered to do it his usual way - in silence, but he knew from experience Saya was not fond of this. And the news that they had touched her, violated her, even if it had been stroking, touching. It was bad enough.

Kaidan's face darkened at the thought of someone else doing this to Saya. Even Jase kissing her and touching her had been enough to get his blood boiling, but at least there he knew it wasn't sexual attraction.

It all came down to getting kidnapped. Or receiving a chip, blurting out what they had wanted to know. Option one, making the message, would possibly have been the better one. Maybe he wouldn't have received that chip then. Or maybe they would have done it anyway. If only they hadn't taken the horses.

"Uhm.. okay. I mean, I understand. I should have... expected this, the change in what's acceptable and what isn't."

Irimsaya was startled at those words and the darkness that now seemed to cloud his face.

"What? Oh god Kaidan no.. I just... I'm sorry..." She trailed off then ran to their bathroom, sobbing, regretting she had said anything at all. Perhaps it would have been better for her to pretend like nothing had happened.

Kaidan scratched his face and got up, going after her. Saying something hadn't worked in his favour and obviously it's been wrong too. But he couldn't just sit by and let this happen. "Saya.... can I come in please?"

Wiping her eyes, Saya went and opened the door, looking at him uncertainly. She felt like she had betrayed him by letting all of this happen.

Kaidan gave her a tiny smile and a nod, holding out his hand. Maybe she wanted to take it, maybe not. But how else could he reach out to her.

Irimsaya bit her lip then slowly took the offered hand.

"Forgive me..?"

Kaidan was carefully stroking her fingers gently before he answered. "Yes. Always. But there's nothing to forgive. I just love you and.. well. I love you."

A hint of a small smile played at Saya's lips as she nodded.

"I love you too Kaidan. More than I think you realize."

Kaidan smiled a bit more at this, maybe he didn't. But yet he did. There was a reason why they were married, had children and were a pair. He'd tell her later, how he had been trying to keep her out of this and still failed with it. Kaidan was about to say something when Doc Novak's voice came over the comms.

"Ah, Captain? Excuse me please, I had to consult Edi to find out where you went. I," he cleared his throat a little, "don't remember releasing you from my care. I would if I knew you were taking it easy and resting in your own bed for a few more hours."

Irimsaya sighed and closed her eyes.

"I'm not in bed yet doctor but I'm working on it. Kaidan's with me, I'm sure he'll make sure I rest. How's Jase?"

"Of course, I will." Kaidan nodded, knowing he would but was a bit baffled. Chakwas was definitely different than their new doctor.

There was a pause of silence before Arlen answered. "Temperature is unchanged. Still intact capsules have been removed. I'm now working on ... getting rid of the poison," he said, a bit agitated. A few capsules had been set aside for further testing. This design was too good to pass up and not study it.

"Ma'am, if we hadn't caught this earlier we would have lost him." There was a pause while he was thinking of having to talk to the husband too and he quickly added, anticipating her question, "The Commander will be fine, in a day or two. At least. Maybe longer."

"I have one more question for you doctor. Was this designed specifically for his DNA?" She was afraid of the answer because if it was - then they could use it on her too and she saw the realization and horror set in on Kaidan's face as he processed the question she had posed.

Arlen paused, looking thoughtful down at the sleeping man in his med-bay. For his DNA? The wheels started to turn in his head.

"Possible. It's been definitely designed and new. Haven't seen anything like this before. I will run further tests on the capsules and include your suggestion. How's your head Captain?"

"It feels like the Normandy is fighting a Reaper. Does that answer your question?" Saya said softly.

'Interesting answer,' Arlen mused. He liked the way she was thinking. "I will send someone upstairs with a painkiller for you. As soon as I have the results I.. ah, will send you the report. To your terminal." Arlen had a frown on his face, not wanting to disturb her rest when the results were there.

"I appreciate that doctor, thank you." Saya replied, sitting down on their bed and sighed softly when Kaidan started to gently massage her neck.

"I'm sorry I picked him, he's a handful. Young, eager, smart." Kaidan had to chuckle a very little. On the other hand, no, he wasn't sorry about it at all.

"No, don't be sorry Kaidan. He seems like a nice guy and he's fitting in around here quite well."

Kaidan nodded and kept massaging her neck, very carefully. Low and behold it soon knocked at their door. Kaidan looked a bit surprised at Saya. "I have to give him credit, he's fast." He was even more surprised when it was Edi bringing the painkiller delivery.

Irimsaya turned her head and looked at their AI.

"Edi? Why did he send you??"

Edi wasn't so sure if their good doctor wasn't actually mistaking her for a simple robot, but on the other hand she was sure he did indeed know about her many qualities.

"Allow me to quote Doctor Novak, 'You are about the only person on this ship who is able to multitask and continue with their work while bringing the pills upstairs.' He also insisted on witnessing you were taking them, Captain."

Raising her eyebrows, Irimsaya sighed loudly.

"Edi, I'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be doing this. You're too valuable to us to become a 'nurse' as it were."

Kaidan tried hard not to chuckle at this.

"I am very capable of delivering your pills Captain and running tasks. Doctor Novak appeared to be very busy. I suspect he did not want to leave you in any pain."

Irimsaya smiled at her friend.

"Thank you Edi." She took the medication aware of the AI watching her every move. "Okay, swallowed and done. Thanks again Edi."

"You are welcome, Captain. I assume Jeff is not taking over the helm until the Commander has," she stopped for half a second, obviously quoting someone, "broken this lousy fever?"

"I think that's a safe assumption Edi. Do you mind looking after things?" Irimsaya asked her.

Edi seemed to smile at her. "I do not mind, Captain. I enjoy caring for my family and friends."

"And your family loves you for it Edi." Saya said as she lied down slowly with a moan.

"Thank you, Captain," Edi said, turned on her heels and left.

Kaidan went to Saya, wondering if there was anything he could do to make her feel better, or more comfortable. "Maybe I can do something?"

"I wouldn't know what Kaidan... unless you can erase what happened from my memory."

Kaidan nodded a little, looking down. This was so shameful and more he had no words for it. Usually, he knew it had always been him lifting her spirits, making her feel better. Now this had been taken away from him and he felt lost. So many thoughts were rushing through his head, trying to come up with something to help, or to make this better, but nothing stuck around and made his head feel even more empty in the end.

Maybe it was just a bad dream, maybe he was still on that ship and the batarians were playing with his mind. But he knew it wasn't. The batarians had created a rift between them, caused by violence and more and they were paying the price now. For a moment Kaidan understood how Jase must have felt, not being able to get close to the one you're in love with. Just he knew at some point they'd get past this and pick up their love life and continue with giving hugs, caresses and more. The sentence 'It'll be fine,' came into his mind, the Shepards always seemed to say this.

"Uhm. We will be fine Saya, won't we? Eventually, we'll be fine."

Saya opened her eyes a bit, wincing a little when she did. She knew what he was asking but wasn't quite sure how to answer it.

"I hope so Kaidan. You have no idea how much I hope so."

Kaidan nodded and left her alone then by going to sit down on their terminal. He didn't know what else to do with himself and someone needed to look after things on the ship. Only, his codes weren't working, not allowing him to do everything. Once he was sure Saya was asleep he hid his face in his hands and cried. Before he would wake up Saya Kaidan left their quarters and sat down outside at the elevator, sobbing away.

Saya woke awhile later.

"Kaidan?"

When there was no answer to her quiet plea she started to panic a bit.

"Kaidan??"

There was silence in their quarters save for the sound of her own voice. Swallowing back the fear in her heart, Saya stood up from the bed and grabbed the nearby table quickly for support. She didn't feel right in her head and all she wanted was her husband.

" _Commander?_ " Edi's voice came over his private comm and Kaidan looked up, startled.

"Yes Edi?" Kaidan answered quietly.

" _Your wife is looking for you. She has just woken up._ "

Kaidan frowned a little and rubbed his face before he struggled to get off the floor, returning to their quarter. He quietly entered it, in case she had fallen asleep again.

Saya was kneeling on the floor by the bed, breathing hard as she tried to quell her fear that Kaidan had been taken from her again.

When he saw her like this, Kaidan thought she was in pain again. And more than before. He quickly rushed to her side.

"Saya?" he said quietly but with urgency.

She gasped and turned to him, nearly tackling him to the floor in an embrace as she nuzzled his neck.

"I thought they'd taken you again... silly I know but..."

Saya trailed off and started kissing his neck in his special spot.

"I was just.. outside," Kaidan said and groaned a little when she hit that spot. Goose bumps appeared all over his body as he wrapped his arms around her, eyes closed. "I'm still here," he whispered.

She was breathing hard, desperate to feel him with her, to be with him. Her fear of being touched was still there but now her need to be reassured he was there outweighed anything else. Saya kept kissing him, eventually moving to his lips.

A small moan erupted from Kaidan as he kissed her eagerly back. Whatever had happened in the last few days was suddenly very far away and in stark contrast to the here and now. Responding in his usual way, Kaidan moved his hands under her top to caress her bare back.

Irimsaya moved her lips and kissed his ear gently.

"Make me forget Kaidan... please... if only for a little while..."

Kaidan nodded and opened his eyes to look at her. At least there was something he could do and if it was helping her, why not. He wanted to tell her how beautiful she is, recalling his own voice, how he told Jase that she was the love of his life. No one would take that away from him, not without a fight for their love. Instead Kaidan gave her his smile and nodded once more, leaning in to kiss her cheek, neck, moving on to the spots he knew she enjoyed being touched at.


	6. Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edi has a question for Arlen, who is very busy trying to save a few lives.

### Chapter Six

Edi went to the infirmary and looked at the other Shepard there who was still sleeping, Joker on the bed next to him. Once satisfied that both men were deeply asleep, she went to the doctor.

"Doctor Novak. I have a question for you. How do you define 'resting'?"

Arlen's head snapped up from the next sample he had just been working on and looked at the AI.

"Uh, what? Resting?" Arlen looked a bit puzzled at her before he bent down again to study it further.

"Resting. Can mean many things. Like sleeping, laying on bed, couch, sitting. Dozing. Depending on the healthy state of the person in question, it can also be reading, playing games, music or whatever floats your boat. Mr. Moreau over there is currently resting." Arlen pointed out, wondering if he should find out why she was asking this.

"Do sexual relations count?" Edi asked.

Arlen's jaw dropped as he straightened up, staring at the wall. "Excuse me?"

"You told me to ensure the Captain rested. I am asking if sexual relations count as I believe that is what is currently happening.."

"Edi! Too much information! Stop spying on them. Please? It was just to ensure she took the pill...!" Arlen looked really flustered now. This was not good. "Not having you watching them. That's private!" He tried to explain and nearly dropped the sample. "For heaven's sake...," he muttered.

"Do not concern yourself Doctor, I turned off the sensors in that room as soon as I saw what was beginning to happen. I only had them on when the Commander left her to deal with an emotional upheaval."

Arlen walked to her. He didn't believe the robot would just tell him all these things without reason.

"Edi, why are you telling me all these things? I trust the Commander would approach me if he needed my help."

Not that he could be of much help when it came to giving advice on emotional business himself. After talking to the male Shepard he hardly believed giving this very part was wise.

"I find myself worrying about them. All the crew to be honest, but the Captain and Commander in particular. As well as Joker and Commander Shepard. But I have never seen Commander Alenko... weep before. Why would he weep?"

Arlen took off the gloves and rubbed his forehead with the back of his hand, wondering how to explain this best.

"Uhm, they hurt him and his wife," he replied. "When people witness traumatizing events, they tend to cry. Which is good," he quickly pointed out.

"Then I am confused even further. I overheard the Captain telling the Commander that she was not ready to be 'handled' and yet now..."

"Handled?" Now his jaw really dropped. "Edi," he hissed quietly to her, "that's private! If.. I don't know, if she's fine with it. Ah.. it's their business. Maybe, they.. ah.. well... needed it?" Arlen guessed.

"Can you elaborate? I am not sure I fully comprehend your meaning."

Arlen just stared at her for a few seconds. "Are you making fun of me?" Arlen replied while wrapping his arms around himself. Well, he could try, at least. "Urges? Like.. when you need energy? Okay, forget that, might not work. That's like being hungry and needing food. Let me think," he said, playing with his lower lip, tapping it with his index finger. He was thinking, and more thinking, looked at her and she was still staring at him and he thought some more. What in the galaxy was he supposed to tell her?

"Well, urges obviously. You need something and then you ask, or maybe you don't. But you satisfy those urges. To make you feel better." Arlen still watched her and shrugged eventually, giving up. "I'm sorry, I can't explain it any better because I have no ... experience in this matter."

"I see. Do you have any 'urges' when you view me in this body?"

Arlen opened his mouth to say something but closed it, only to open it again before he looked around, maybe there was someone who needed his help? Of course there was no one, just the microscope waiting with the samples. That was his date. On the other hand, when he really needed his cloak, it wasn't close by. But to give Edi the benefit of doubt, he looked her over. Down to her feet and back up again. The color looked interesting and if he could, he would scratch the surface with a tool to see what it's been built of.

"I.. uh, well am curious. Your surface looks interesting, what kind of material is it made of?" he answered her, but knew this wasn't what she had been asking. Urges.

"If you wish I could let you scan me but that does not answer the question I posed you.."

Arlen looked away, trying hard not to close down but to provide her with an answer.

"I ah.. well. If you ask me like that. The question. The answer to it is... No. No urges. I just... have no urges. With anyone." Arlen told her truthfully, praying that the Commander and his husband weren't awake and hearing this.

"May I ask why you do not have these urges? Is it not required of your species?"

Arlen wanted to throw his hands up into the air in frustration. He should have said no thanks and leave at this; but why in the world had he told her the truth? The microscope was glaring at him, so he thought, demanding him to keep working on the sample and drive out that poison. Arlen went and sat down at it, looking at the capsule and increased the zoom, thinking. Not of the sample, but about the question. And yet there was something interesting about the thing he was looking at and he quickly scribbled down a note, noting Edi didn't leave and was still at her place. With a sigh he gave up. For now.

"I have work to do. I just .. don't talk about it," he told her, fingering his eyes and then he pinched his nose before he looked over his notes. "Okay... you are persistent. I don't think it's required for our species. Human sexuality is very complex." Arlen tried to explain, suddenly thinking of his foster dad.

"I understand. Do you need any assistance with what you are doing?"

To say he was surprised was an understatement, but it was a pleasant surprise. Instead of being bombarded with more questions about human sexuality, having her asking if he needed help was, quite frankly, flattering. Arlen smiled at her.

"Only if you have time, not that someone comes running in here, demanding to know why I keep the ship's AI busy. I was about to find out if these capsules and the poison it contains are tailored to the Commander's DNA. Also," he brought up a picture of one of them and zoomed in, "I believe they are of Salarian design."

The markings on them were subtle, but visible once zoomed in with a high factor.

"If you are worried about monopolizing me you need not concern yourself with that. I am present both in this body and in the ship. As for the poison itself..." She peered closely at it. "I believe you are correct that those markings are Salarian. Would you like a translation?"

"Can you....? Of course you can. Yes, please Edi. It could be important." Arlen wondered what it could say and how this had come into the hands of those batarians and being used on the Commander. Also, he needed to adjust the scanners to trace these capsules with their omni-tools.

"There is a batch number - it is not the only one of it's kind. It reminds me a bit of the genophage. After the batch number it says 'Shepard-1'."

'Shepard-1,' Arlen thought and it was clear from his face he was thinking deeply. He needed to run the rest on the poison itself, but the markings already hinted strongly at the Captain's suspicion.

"The Captain might be right Edi. She asked me if this poison was tailored to the Commander's DNA. I will run the tests right away."

With all the top equipment he had access to on this ship here, it would be done faster. It would have been nice to have more than just the standard equipment back at home.

"Shepard-1," Arlen muttered while setting it up, "it nearly sounds like there is something else coming with a 'Shepard-2' batch number. Or even with another number. Shepard-1 is the Commander. Anyone would think this would be for the Captain. Why did he get the 1? If it's for him of course," he shrugged and looked at Edi. "Uh, of course it was. It was in his body."

"Perhaps they are attempting to perfect it first. If it was meant for the Captain I think it would read as Shepard-0. I can only make the assumption that they do not wish to make any mistakes."

"Correct, you are right...," Arlen inhaled deeply, thinking even more. "Shepard-0, Shepard-1, salarian design, distributed by batarians. Slavers, control chips... Edi I just don't understand why someone would hassle themselves to have a poison developed which is for the Commander only, expensive, and possibly another one for our Captain? They are two different people."

"They actually are not Doctor." Edi stated, surprised he said this. "They are the same person."

Arlen looked at her and then back at the sleeping Commander for a second. "I heard rumours about him. It's true then? When I pulled up his file today and looked closer, it looked like they are twins but...," the flash and beep announcing the test was done interrupted him.

"There we have it," he whispered, letting Edi come close so she could read it too.

"It was indeed designed for him. I must alert the Captain.."

"No," Arlen stopped her, "not yet. They have their.. uh.. private time. I will do it. She'll ask about her.. uh.. brother... anyway and I don't want to tell her I have no news." And now he finally adjusted the omni-tool, ready to scan the chest from the Commander for any missed capsules.

Edi grabbed Arlen's arm gently.

"Please ensure the Commander's safety. He is very important to Jeff and Jeff is my helmsman. I do not wish to lose either of them."

Arlen was startled at this and she acted like a close family member.

"You care about .. them and I find this very.. nice of you. I love my job Edi and healing people is why I have chosen to become a doctor. Making people's lives better, among other reasons."

Arlen walked over and Edi still nearly clung onto him which made him blink a little. This was weird. A touch on the Commander's forehead told him the fever had broken but was still there. He checked the pulse and scanned his patient.

"No capsules left. Fever has broken, less sweaty. Pulse is nearly back to normal. The antidote is working."

"I am glad. Thank you for this Doctor. And to answer your earlier comment, yes I do care about them. They are more than my crew - they are my family."

"I.. uh.. this is very nice of you Edi."

There were a thousand questions running through his mind now, concerning the AI, the crew and why had she wanted to have sex with him? Arlen checked the time, figuring in about 30 minutes he could call the Captain. But there was the LT asleep on the other bed and he pulled up his medical file, which made his eyebrows rose up once again and he scanned Joker. With a satisfied shrug and a tip on his omni-tool to shut it down he looked at Edi once again.

"Considering his medical state he is as healthy as he can be. I.. ah.. have a question for you. If you don't mind, I'd like to ask you in private, please."

"Of course Doctor."

Edi followed him after reassuring herself that Joker was okay.

Arlen was honestly surprised by the care she displayed about the Commander and his husband. A part of him was even a bit jealous. Maybe one day he'd experience this again. He hopped onto his desk and sat there, watching the robot.

"Can you tell me why you were hitting on me earlier?" Arlen whispered the question.

"I am curious about male and female relations. I have only ever experienced female and female. This other option puzzles me and you are an attractive male."

Arlen scratched his forehead, nodding. "Thanks for.. finding me attractive. Unfortunately I'm, I don't have any experience, only medical understanding of it. You had a girlfriend? Have you broken up with her?"

"She is.. trying to understand what kind of relationship we have."

"Oh," he said, nodding a little while watching her. Whatever that meant.

"I could point you towards certain books, wait. You'd know about that already, don't you? You're an AI and have access to everything. All that knowledge of the galaxy at your fingertips."

Arlen nodded again, "But you want to experience it yourself... I'm sorry, Edi. I'm flattered and all that you try to well.. get me into your bed," he coughed a little wondering if she even had a bed, "but I'm really the wrong person for this, for various reasons. Can you even have, ah.. sex? Is your body able to..?"

"This body is fully functional if that is what you are asking Doctor. I apologize if I have put you ill at ease, that was not my intent. You are a new and vital component of my family."

Arlen waved his hand a little before he rested his chin on it, elaborating quietly.

"As long as people don't hit on me and the discussion is being done in private I'm not having much of a problem with it. It's ah.. when they understand that their doctor, who's nearly 25, is still a virgin and more interested in looking at samples and helping people as in, well, dating, or more. You're considering me a new and vital component of your family? What means family to you, Edi?"

Edi paused, watching Novak, considering her response.

"Family are those who are bound together by love. I love my crew, each and every one of them past and present. But I also wish to learn about things beyond 'family'." She paused again. "Doctor, a thought just occurred to me. The Commander was infected when Commander Alenko was kidnapped correct?" She watched him nod. "Could they have infected Commander Alenko with the one designed for the Captain - make him a kind of 'vessel' for distribution?"

Arlen thought about this and narrowed his eyes a little.

"Possible. It could be logical. The Commander said he had passed out, has Commander Alenko passed out? His implant had shown an infection after he had been freed from the slavers. There was also one in his lower back, designed to prevent him from using his biotics....," Arlen looked up and hit the comm. At the same time he thought Edi should update her sensors and everything to include the capsules' signatures.

"Captain Shepard, I'm sorry to disturb you, but there's something important. Can I come upstairs?"

Irimsaya groaned and opened her eyes, she had been having a good sleep, Kaidan's body wrapped around hers and trapping her to the bed as he too slept. She blinked a bit, sweating, and realized she would have to adjust the temperature in their quarters when she got up.

"What is it Doctor?" Aware the sound of her voice made Kaidan open his eyes.

"Your assumption was correct, ma'am. The poison was tailored to the Commander, labeled as Shepard-1. Aside of this, there is something else I would like to discuss in private. I'm your doctor ma'am... I'll be upstairs in a minute. It's important."

Saya sighed softly and looked at Kaidan.

"I need a shower first - can you stall him for me? I'll be as quick as I can."

Kaidan nodded at this and got their bed back into some decent order. Just as he threw on some more clothes there was a knock at their door.

 

Arlen tried not to pace. It wasn't that they were probably not fully dressed, or that the room might smell of sex, or that they just had sex, no. The option of having Commander Alenko carrying another batch of those capsules unnerved him. Shepard-0. And there was also the other option of those, whoever created this poison, would and could also tailor it to act on humans also. Which was not acceptable. Arlen knocked again, having his omni-tool already ready. Whoever was going to open this door would be scanned right away.

Kaidan opened the door and raised his eyebrows as Novak scanned him right away.

"And hi to you too Doc..."

There was nothing on Kaidan that indicated any capsules and at first Arlen wanted to sigh in relief, but then something lit up around and behind the Commander. Like a blip, barely seen.

Arlen brushed past him, already typing hastily away, having a thought. The omni-tool was raised into the air, scanning the entrance. Then he stopped at Kaidan's nose. The source. Scanned again his chest. Lungs. Already dispersed and with every breath Kaidan took, he was letting out a dose of poison. Arlen stormed inside, scanning the whole air.

"For heaven's sake.... the whole room is infected...!"

"Infected with what doc?" Kaidan asked in confusion as Saya emerged from the bathroom, her hair still dripping from her cold shower.

"What can we do for you doctor? Is Jase okay?"

"Poison," Arlen said, going directly to his Captain, scanning her. There were, of course, no capsules either, but she had inhaled a lot and it was already beginning to work.

"Captain, you must come with me to med bay, at once." One look at her though told Arlen she wouldn't come with him so easily.

"Your brother is healing as expected. Explanation. Poison in your brother was tailored to him, marked Shepard-1. Poison in your husband must have been tailored to you. Capsules have broken open and it's being contributed to you by air, you _are_ inhaling it." Arlen demonstrated it, lighting up the tiny 'flakes' floating around in the air.

"You're sweating. No, you had a shower? Doesn't matter, your temperature is already rising," he said while typing away on the omni-tool. "Upset stomach? Not yet? Might happen later. Edi? I have sent you the adjusted parameters, please include them and adjust the air filters on the Normandy. Commander Alenko has probably polluted all of the Normandy, including the shuttle. Commander Alenko? You're under quarantine until I tell you otherwise." Just now he was actually taking a breath, looking at the pair.

"Polluted the Normandy?? Quarantine??" Kaidan was confused.

"Doctor I don't think you have any reason to..." Saya trailed off then made a beeline back to the bathroom as fast as she could.

Arlen wanted to dart after her right away, but first he had to get the Commander away from his patient.

"Commander, forgive me. But you have to stay away from your wife! You are making her sick! In you is poison, you're breathing it out, poisoning your wife. This whole room is full of it! For now, please stay away and in this room until I tell you otherwise!"

Arlen felt sorry for the man, not just that his wife was getting more and more sick by the minute, no he was the reason and didn't know. Oh, and of course they must have been kissing. Which made things just worse. Arlen darted into the small room.

"Captain? Captain I need to get you to med-bay. Now."

Saya didn't even look up at him when he ran into the small room with her. She was too busy losing what little she had eaten and barely noticing that she was also getting rid of blood.

'Oh dad, I could use your help now,' Arlen thought as he got her up. If she got sick all over him, fine. He could get changed, it wouldn't matter. Arlen was not too muscular like all the others but found Saya wasn't too heavy as he picked her up. He could carry her. Once he left the room it barely registered that he was yelling at Kaidan to stay away from her.

There was no panic in him, but urgency to get her down, onto a bed and helping her to get rid of the poison.

"Edi? Please create a security field around Commander Shepard's bed and where his husband is," he ordered her while in the elevator, "I don't want to risk him getting worse again. And also one around Captain Shepard's cabin."

"Fields erected Doctor. I should point out that Commander Alenko is quite upset and mad."

"Let him come to me." Saya tried to ask Novak but all that came out were ragged gasps.

"Thank you Edi." Arlen understood her whispered gasp. "Captain, I have to save your life first and...," he wanted to say more. But family. Spouses, husbands, wives, they all helped healing.

"I will call him down as soon as I can allow it."

Just then the door opened and he rushed her into his territory, placing her onto the closest bed and began working right away.

 

Joker woke at the sudden noise and subsequent panic.

"Oh shit...Captain???" He was so intent on the scene playing out before him that he didn't see Jase sit up as well, albeit a Jase who was still quite pale.

Jase had trouble to understand all of this right away. Jeff was here at his side. And Saya had been fine when he had seen her.. how long ago? At least as fine as she was able to be after the chip had been taken out. And now she was lying on another bed, looking quite ill, again?

"What's going on?" Jase asked, eyelids heavy, bones too. It really felt like a bad case of cold now.

"Jase!! You're awake! Thank god I've been so worried. You were poisoned."

"Poisoned? By whom? Something I drank down on New Omega?" Nothing on the Normandy would contain any poison, but it still didn't explain the situation with Saya. His mind was slowly getting there.

"From what Novak can tell, you were poisoned the day Kaidan was kidnapped." Joker tried to explain.

"That long ago?" That had to settle in first as Jase kept stealing worried glances towards Saya. What was going on with her? It could explain his own restlessness, or not. But it could certainly explain the stomach issues he had experienced. Not able to sit up any longer Jase laid down and turned to face Jeff, for the moment, before he would try to watch the Doctor and Saya.

"Tiger..., I'm sorry about last night. I scared you."

"Don't worry about it, all's forgiven. After all you nearly died on me again..." Joker trailed off as Edi came to stand near them.

"I thought you both should know that the Captain has also been poisoned but with a refined and improved version... And it was accidentally administered by her husband." Edi stated.

Jase turned onto his back, resting his head on his arm, silently thanking Edi for showing up. She was sparing him the strength of having to ask her. He had no words at first for these news, but somehow a few things made a bit more sense. In a sickening way. "Where's Kaidan now, Edi? He'd be at her side."

"Doctor Novak has placed the Commander in quarantine in his and the Captain's quarters. His lungs and respiratory system are completely infected with the poison that was designed specifically for the Captain."

Jase hit the comm right away as he stared at Edi. "Kaidan? You there?"

Kaidan looked up and wiped his eyes angrily.

"That you Jase?" He tried to hide the quiver of the tears from his voice as best he could.

Jase locked worried eyes with Jeff when he replied, "Yeah, it's me. Doc's busy with Saya. How you doing buddy?"

"They turned me into a weapon against my wife how do you think I'm doing???"

Jase rubbed his head and closed his eyes at this reply. Then he reached out, caressing Jeff's side of the face gently, trying to come up with an adequate answer for Kaidan.

"Kaidan, I'm sorry. We're worried about you, too."

"Worry about Saya." Kaidan shut down the comm unit and broke down sobbing.

"He's shutting me out." Jase's jaw locked so hard for a moment he thought he'd break something. "I should get up there."

"I cannot allow that Commander." Edi said. "He is under quarantine."

"Damnit, someone has to do something! You can't just lock him up in the cabin, alone." Jase pointed out angrily, feeling tired once more.

"I'm doing all I can, sir," came the doctor's soft reply. For now he had managed to keep her stable, stopped the bleedings and the antidote he had used on Jase was working, albeit not fully. He needed to modify it. And needed to think. "It has to be like this right now. Please calm down."

"Perhaps I could go to him Doctor?" Edi asked.

Jase just grumbled a little but was too worn out to argue with anyone, turning just tired and now once again frustrated eyes on Jeff.

Arlen nodded, still focused on the antidote. "It would be the best solution. Yes Edi, please. Once I have stabilized his wife I need to take care of Commander Alenko and remove the last remains of the poison. Please tell him I'm giving my best, I will update him as soon as I have more."

Edi nodded then left to go to Kaidan in his quarters.

Saya moaned on the bed and started coughing so hard she couldn't breathe.

Jase turned his head, watching what was going on and saw Arlen turning her onto her side, freeing the air way. For a moment he wished he could help the man, and help Saya. "God Jeff, what can we do for her?"

Saya gasped for air when she was turned on her side and whimpered quietly. It felt like her whole body was on fire.

"H...help....please..."

"I'm here Captain, I'm doing all I can," Arlen answered her softly. "The antidote is working ma'am, but your body is battling the infection caused by the poison."

Joker just shook his head, worry on his face.

Arlen just kept working, hands moving swift, thoughts rushing through his head in an ordered light speed. Once the coughing started to even out, allowing her to gasp in some more breaths and her pulse slowed down to nearly normal, he rubbed her arm for a second, trying to reassure her. The antidote was working, but her body was infected and aflame at every possible corner. It had been happening so fast, he was glad now he had dragged her down and hadn't answered all the questions. Or they might have lost her.

After he felt satisfied enough that she could breathe again Arlen carefully turned her back. His liking to use a few old methods showed once more as he touched her forehead to check the temperature and felt her pulse. Many of his patients seemed to respond better as soon as some light comfort was given. But then he scanned her and the hologram of her body showed many red areas. Lung, stomach, fever, kidneys.

Jase carefully got off his bed and moved over onto Jeff's bed, taking the blanket with him as he sat down next to his husband and pulled up his legs. He carefully folded the blanket around himself shivering a little and snuggled closer to Jeff.

"It's one thing to see someone die on the field. You know you can't change it as there is just so much you can do. But this, seeing this. It scares me. Seeing my family suffer, those who I love...," he whispered.

Joker put a gentle arm around his husband's shoulders.

"Yeah tell me about it. Pretty much how I've been feeling since you got sick. But this... she's in so much pain. Why would anyone want to kill her? And test it on you first? I don't understand."

Jeff went silent as he watched Saya buck on her bed in intense pain and heard her whimper softly.

"Kaidan must be going nuts right about now..."

Jase leaned his head a bit closer to Jeff. "Maybe it wasn't a test. Maybe it was planned. Get rid of the Shepards, use Kaidan's access codes," which made him think of Kaidan again. "He shut me out Jeff. I don't blame him, but..," that had hurt.

Jase watched as the doc was working busily, using the tools he had, the scanners, adjusting settings, giving his sister meds and hooked her up onto fluids. At one point Jase then realized he must have put her under drugs to lessen the pain she was in.

"I'm sorry for putting you through this. Thought it wouldn't happen anymore and we could just live our lives."

Joker snorted a little bit.

"No such thing as peaceful lives when you love a Shepard." He laughed a bit then sighed. "I get why Kaidan kinda did what he did Jase - how would you feel if you had been taken, implanted with a poison that could kill me and you didn't know it, then after you have sex with me I end up on a bed nearly dying?"

Jase just looked at him baffled and whispered back, "I understand that. I really do. How do you know they had sex?"

"Erm well... I was kinda faking the whole sleep thing and Edi was mentioning it after she took some meds up to Saya... asking the doc if resting involved sexual relations... I forced myself to sleep after that." He laughed a bit.

Jase chuckled a tiny bit, debating if Jeff really went to sleep after that or not. The smile then vanished though as he thought of Kaidan and Saya. "They're family, I care about them. I just...," he looked over at their doctor, " _know_ he can save her."

Joker nodded, watching Saya's body still twitching in agony on the bed despite the sedatives.

"I just hope she doesn't end up like me..."

Jase frowned a little as he watched Novak working swiftly on his sister reached over to take Jeff's hand.

"What do you mean? Handicapped?"

Joker nodded a bit. He knew what it was like only too well and to see his Captain like this put the irrational fear in him that she would end up like him somehow.

Jase just looked at him, he felt scared. What would be if that happened? He had never seen any other handicapped people, aside of Jeff. Medicine was pretty advanced by now, including gene mods and Jase had no idea how anything like a handicap would be treated by now.

"The implants will help her. All the mods she received," he said stubbornly. Saya was more advanced than he was, that fever and poison would not break her, he was sure of it. But the nagging thought was there, what if not?

"Doc's doing what he can. He's good."

Joker could see his own fears reflected in Jase's eyes though despite what the other man was saying.

"I just think that we need to be prepared for anything. We don't know for sure what this poison was designed to do. Kill her or incapacitate her."

"Yeah," Jase nodded, "you're right. I just don't want her to.. get worse." And Jase knew that it was designed to kill her.

"Then let's hope she doesn't.. you know you should be sleeping right?"

Jase rubbed his tired eyes and nodded. "I can't. Not when she's there, suffering, fighting for her life. Doc's good, have to give him that. He doesn't give up."

Joker sighed softly.

"I know Jase but you have to try. You had that in you too - though definitely not to that extent. And now I'm kind of worried about Kaidan.. you don't think he'd do anything stupid do you?"

"I'll try, for you. I don't know about Kaidan. He'd fight, wanting to be there. But...," Jase looked at Jeff, "I don't know. I wanted to go up there. He's. Heartbroken." Jase huddled further into his blanket while enjoying Jeff's warmth. "If I had fought harder or not taken him for the ride, nothing of this would have happened."

Joker held him close.

"You can't blame yourself. They had obviously planned this. If you hadn't gone riding they would have just taken Kaidan when I took him to town or something."

With a sigh Jase nodded, but he couldn't get Kaidan out of his head, being upstairs and alone with Edi and blaming himself too. "Edi, how's Kaidan?"

"Not good Commander. He goes from yelling to pacing to fingering his pistol. I have taken his pistol and hidden it now."

"Damn it. Edi, keep it that way." Jase's eyes were closing on their own now and he looked up, surprised. Jeff was right, he should be asleep. If only Saya was doing better. Carefully giving Jeff's cheek a kiss he then got up and took the blanket with him to lay down once more.

"Just wake me if there's any news."

"I'll wake you I promise Jase, get some rest." Joker responded.

Jase nodded, curled up on his side to face Jeff and fell asleep.

 

Arlen glanced at the pair and was kind of pleased that he hadn't been forced to take care of this too. Right now he had enough to do and to worry about. His Captain wasn't doing too well and he forced the fear he felt creeping up out of his thoughts, distancing himself from the people. It was important, a vital part of allowing Arlen to do his job. Only time would tell if it was really enough. The Captain was strong, he saw this now. The implants were working correctly, supporting her body, the organs and their function. It was only luck, he thought, that the poison was only affecting organic parts and left the metal alone. Yet the metal supported the fever, storing its heat longer.

 

More than an hour later he scanned her again, noting the temperature had dropped. The kidneys were working normal now and Arlen saw her body was working hard to fight the poison and to get rid of it.

Saya opened her eyes slowly, still feeling very off, and noted that Arlen was still standing over her. She tried to say his name but all that came out was a croak, the fever having dehydrated her.

The croak was enough to gain his attention and he laid his hand onto her shoulder. "Please, don't move. You need to rest Captain."

The fluids he had hooked her up to were fine, but Arlen noted the breaking skin around her mouth from the fever and ordeal.

"Darian? Do you have some ice chips? The Captain could use a few."

"Yes. Yes we have a few, how many do you need?"

"A cup full, can you bring them over please?" Arlen glanced over to where their cook was, it was lucky they had one, he found.

Not even five minutes later and the man stood in the med-bay, looking at the Shepards. "I never thought I'd see them like this, they've been through a lot and Shepard helped me back on the old Normandy. Here, your ice."

"Thanks," Arlen took the cup and scanned it, making sure there was no other poison somewhere around before he gave it to his Captain. Then Darian was all but forgotten again and the cook shrugged and left.

One chip between his finger, Arlen carefully moistened the lips first before he allowed it Saya to take it in. Not wanting to have her think he'd be staring at her for too long, he checked her vitals again once more.

"K...Kaidan?" Saya asked, her concern for her husband's health at the top of her mind.

'Busted,' he thought for a moment, not knowing how he was doing as he'd been too busy with her.

"He's upstairs in your quarters ma'am and in quarantine. Edi is with him. I'm sorry Captain, I had no time yet to visit him," he confessed.

She closed her eyes, too weak to ask anything else.

Arlen sighed and hit the comm, knowing he couldn't leave her just yet. "Commander Alenko?"

Kaidan wiped his eyes, aware of Edi still there as he hit the comm.

"Doctor? Is she...?"

A part of him was glad the Commander wasn't snapping at him, but he detected the worry and fear right away in his voice. "The Captain has woken up and asked for you. She is stable and resting. Considering the circumstances she is doing well."

"Are you saying I can come to her??" There was a slight bit of hope in his voice.

"I'm sorry, not yet, sir," Arlen replied carefully, "Edi, please scan the Commander and the room, are there any traces of poison still in him?" He suspected as much, that he wouldn't be clean just yet.

"The air is still heavily polluted with the poison as is the commander's body." Edi replied.

Arlen sighed, "Edi, the filters aren't removing it from the air?"

"The filters are, however the Commander is expelling more of the poison at an alarming rate."

"More of the poison?" he asked, baffled. "It should stop once nothing is left of it. I need to come upstairs but I'm vary to leave the Captain by herself." Arlen tapped his leg, thinking. "Can you bring him down to starboard observation and add a quarantine field to the door? I don't want to be too far away from Captain Shepard."

"We will meet you there Doctor." Edi stated then escorted Kaidan to the requested area.

Arlen looked down at his Captain once more, checking her over before he left.

 

On the way he kept scanning the air to make sure absolutely nothing was showing up. Before he entered the room he stopped, took a deep breath and asked something else of Edi. To erect an extra field around the Commander.

"I'm sorry Commander, it's for your wife's safety only," Arlen said as he entered, scanning the room. The filters were working overtime, judging by the clean air.

"Please wear this breathing mask," he said, handing Kaidan the equipment and hooked it up to the air-filter system. He was really glad the filters were cleaning the poison out.

Kaidan sadly looked at the breathing apparatus then hooked it up and put it over his mouth and nose.

"Doc... be honest with me... why do I have fresh scars on my chest?"

Arlen looked puzzled for a moment. "Sir, I honestly don't know. When I released you, there were no scars on your chest."

Kaidan ripped off his shirt so Arlen could see the nasty looking red scars all over his chest where his lungs are located.

Arlen knelt down in front of him to inspect it better, there was a deep frown on his face. "When has this started?"

But something else was bothering him now, it nearly felt as if the Commander thought he had done this to him. Arlen focused on his job, trying to find out what was going on here.

"Do you have any other symptoms?"

"It started last night when I was with my wife... when we... uhm... well you know..."

Arlen nodded as he began to inspect them, "I understand. The Commander had the same scars, the capsules were placed into them. Edi, can you tell me if these scars resemble any known writing, batarian perhaps? It does look familiar."

Edi cocked her head to one side.

"I cannot find a match to any known language, but my records may be incomplete."

Arlen shook his head, "I doubt your records are incomplete." And maybe he was just getting tired by now. But something else didn't really add up to when he had scanned the Commander at their cabin, no traces had been on him. And now, the scan produced a completely different result.

"I don't understand this, your scan from when I had to bring the Captain down to med-bay indicated no scars, nor an infection and certainly no capsules in your skin. They can't just grow like this in you, that's.. not possible..."

"Perhaps it is some kind of self-replication or self-preservation." Edi observed.

"What, they wanted to make sure I could never be with my wife again??" Kaidan asked, depressed.

There was no reply coming from the Doctor, he was deeply in thought and staring at those scars.

"Self-replication. You said the rate has gone up. Something is happening in his body, using it to create more of it. Commander do you feel any different?"

"Besides feeling crappy that I'm being used as a weapon against my wife? Actually yeah... I tried to use my biotics a bit by accident and nothing happened."

Something was definitely going on. Arlen knew the Commander had been using it once or twice while freeing his wife and now they were off? He looked at him thoughtful, it was as someone wanted to make sure he wasn't able to fight and holed up somewhere, out of the way. And right now he wasn't going to admit that he, the bright kid, had no idea on how to fix this if it was what he thought it was. Time to find out.

"Sir, I will.. do what I can. You'll be at your wife's side again." And he could use half of his lab here in this room now too.

"If I have this breathing mask on why can't I be with her now?" Kaidan knew he was pleading but he needed to see her.

"Sir, please. I could, you could see her through the windows of the med-bay. I'm not letting you any closer, I'm sorry. I really am sorry Commander. I'm very well aware that this is hard on you but ... no." One flake of the poison and it would all start again.

Kaidan bowed his head, taking in a shaky breath.

"How long are you going to keep me from her?" He whispered, a trace of anger in his voice.

"Until she is either immune to the poison or your body isn't endangering the Captain anymore," Arlen answered truthfully.

Kaidan closed his eyes and sank onto the nearest chair.

"I believe the Commander is worried that somehow they will try again. I have found a match for those symbols. The phrase appears to translate to 'death and pain to those who stopped the Reapers'." Edi stated.

"Who would do something like this? We would be dead by now if they, you, hadn't stopped them. But this isn't my current priority, I have to find a cure for the Commander and immunize the Captain and her brother against the poison." Arlen nodded at Edi, hoping she'd follow him outside.

Edi did indeed follow him and Kaidan found himself alone once more. He put his head in his hands and winced as another headache began.

As soon as the door closed behind them Arlen leaned against the nearby wall, crossed his arms and rested his head at the wall. For a moment he closed his eyes. "Edi, I could use some help. Would you be able to give me a hand?"

"Of course Doctor, it would be my pleasure." Edi replied. "What would you like me to do?"

Arlen gave her a small smile. "At first we need to bring over some equipment to help the Commander. I also need you to monitor the Captain and alert me of any changes. We have a lot of work to do. Finding a cure for the Commander, immunizing the Captain and Shepard to the poison, also I want to know if they put in the possibility to adjust. The last we need is the whole crew becoming infected."

Edi nodded once.

"I am initiating a protocol to scan every 30 minutes for any new airborne particles as a precautionary measure."

"Thank you Edi, you're a great help to and becoming a friend." What would he do without her, Arlen mused as they began to gather everything they need.

 

Several hours later he was hunched over Kaidan's chest, studying it closely to ensure their newly created cure was working.

Kaidan lied there obediently then winced a little.

"Doc? Something feels...wrong..."

Edi's voice came over the comms.

"Doctor Novak, the poison is adapting!"

"No no no no...," he muttered, wondering if this nightmare was ever going to end. The cure had just made everything worse. What a setback. "I can't just take a gun, shoot at it and kill it! I have to adjust the antidote for the Commander."

"You are correct Doctor, but if I may interject? Did you take into account that Commander Alenko's biotics may have been tampered with to produce this exact result?" Edi asked.

"No, I haven't. What are you suggesting Edi? Wait wait wait..... biotics," Arlen said, walking around, saying aloud what he knew.

"Caused by exposure to element zero the body develops eezo nodules who create mass effect fields which are energized by electrical impulses from the nervous system, the brain. And the bio-amp allows the biotic to synch their nodules to create fields big and strong enough for actual use."

Arlen paced back and forth between Kaidan and the incredible view of the galaxy.

"Edi if what you suggest is correct, this would mean ... they actually tempered with his amp and the infection around the implant was already.. the beginning of it and I didn't catch it? But.. the nodes are actually responsible for hindering the poison because it's eezo and sending electrical impulses on use. And when I fix this, the Commander would just have to fire one skill after the other and he'd cure himself? That's... crazy!"

"Doc... what are you saying? Someone tampered with my implant?? Why??" Kaidan asked before Edi could answer Arlen.

"Your implant and your bio-amp. The electrical impulse of your eezo nodes, coordinated by the implant and enhanced by your bio-amp, could ... destroy it. The Captain and Commander are no biotics and maybe this poison has one big flaw, biotics. Do we have any other biotic on this ship, no? The Commander is the only one. I need to see your amp, sir."

Kaidan stared at Arlen then shrugged a bit.

"As long as there's no scalpel involved..."

Arlen nodded and went to him, taking the amp out to inspect it. It looked normal, then he scanned it, still thinking how crazy this whole situation was. Very different from what he was used to before, curing colds, mending broken bones, wounds and scars.

"The amp appears to be fine, but wait...," he frowned, "what's this? There's some... kind of gel in the port. This wasn't there a few days ago. Edi, look, what's this? The scanner doesn't pick up anything, again." Which wasn't anything new by now, it seemed all things concerning this poison wasn't showing up at first.

Edi scanned it and frowned.

"Unknown. It appears at first glance to be like medi-gel - perhaps some kind of adaptation?"

"Guys come on... I just want to see my wife..." Kaidan pleaded.

"We're working on it, Commander." Arlen replied as laid his hand on Kaidan's forehead for a moment to make sure he wasn't having a fever and was pleased when it felt normal. The plea was understandable, but Arlen couldn't really relate to it since he'd never been with anyone.

"Well, I certainly didn't apply any kind of gel to it after the infection died down. I will clean it and reapply the amp, sir. You might feel a bit..... aah.. uncomfortable." There was the rumour of people feeling aroused by it, Arlen just didn't know what to make of it at all. People never had this reaction when he had been removing the control chips.

Kaidan moaned as the implant was put back into place then whimpered quietly, really wanting his wife now.

"Dammit what did you do to me."

Arlen was trying to hide a grin. If it was having this effect then maybe cleaning it had already been enough. "Thank you for answering an unspoken question Commander. I cleaned your amp and interface. Please try a skill."

Kaidan sat up and nodded. He threw a warp round at the wall and watched the picture there only bounce a little.

"What the... that should have gone flying..."

He tried again with the same result.

"Well at least it is working." The omni-tool flared into life, scanning Kaidan's lungs and the poison.

"Commander, please try again," Arlen said, wanting to monitor it and see if their crazy theory was correct.

Kaidan sighed and tried again with the same result.

"Okay that's annoying...I uh...ow... ow..."

He lied back down holding his head and wincing.

"Ooooh that's not good.."

"Headaches? The level of the poison has dropped about 1% when you activated your last biotic skill, sir."

Kaidan nodded a little and sat up, trying again with the same result. He groaned as his head got worse and he felt something dripping from his nose.

Arlen laid his hand onto his shoulder and shook his head, handing him a small box of tissues. The risk of him suffering serious damage was not what he wanted to see. He checked the levels, saw they had fallen again and kept comparing them for several minutes. A scan to the implant directly also showed it was fine. For a second Arlen stopped doing anything, then he spoke up again.

"The poison appears to stagnate at the current level, it's not rising up again. Commander, once every 30 minutes, or in an hour."

Kaidan bowed his head with a heavy sigh.

"Alright... I'll try.."

Arlen wasn't going to give up. They had something else and if it would work together with his own result, it would be faster.

"I'm in the med-bay and.. working more on what we already had."

Before the Doctor hit the med-bay again, he made sure there was absolutely nothing on him that might endanger the Captain. Once everything was back in order he walked into it, noting the Captain seemed to be asleep, among the other two crew members. He checked each of them, the Commander could leave once he woke up.

 

Time seemed to pass by without Arlen noting it as he worked his way through the solutions he came up with, testing them and typing them into the database. When he sat down to do just this, he groaned softly, not having realized how achy his body now felt and he rubbed now tired eyes.

How much time had passed since they had gotten the Captain back? And before that there were the Asari and Turian and Commander Alenko and.. days?

The thoughts swiftly flooded in and out as he shook his head and continued his work.

Edi's voice floated to him through a comms channel as she had elected to stay with her Commander.

"Are you well Doctor Novak? You seem... distracted."

Arlen looked up, feeling a bit startled out of his thoughts. "I ... I feel tired Edi."

The monitors in front of him promptly shut down.

"Then you may not work until you have had some rest."

Arlen sat up straight, he couldn't believe it. "What did you do? You can't just shut it down, I was working....!"

"I take care of my family. You will burn yourself out if you continue at this pace. Please utilize one of the beds and get some sleep."

The lights in the room dimmed.

"I will not allow you access until I am certain you have had some rest."

Arlen tried to get the console working again, wanting to see if she had saved his work. "Edi, did you save it...? Did you save my work?"

"Of course I did. Now please go and rest."

"Yes mom, I will go and rest and sleep," Arlen replied, giving in and went over to the free bed next to Saya. At least he would be close if there was something going on.

"Please keep an eye on the Commander, he might try to active his skills more than every 30 minutes. Wake me please if he does or.. if anything else is happening."

Arlen laid down with a sigh after he had gotten rid of his shoes and pulled the blanket up tightly, facing his Captain while lying on his side. "Thank you Edi," he mumbled.

"Sweet dreams Doctor - you deserve them." Edi replied as she completely turned off the lights.


	7. Chapter Seven

"Commander, we are approaching Thessia," a voice said into his ear, or comm, or it was in his mind. Jase cracked an eye open. The whole med-bay was dark and he slowly sat up and left the bed to stret with a yawn. He felt better, a lot better.

"I'm up. Let me get changed," Jase replied as he looked at the bed where Jeff was. He smiled a bit as he approached him and leaned down to place a soft kiss onto his forehead. Eyes travelling on to Saya he went over to her and carefully laid his hand onto her hair, caressing it gently. Then he saw the Doc, being asleep on the bed in his work clothes.

Jase quietly left the med-bay. "Give me an update Edi."

"How detailed would you like the report Commander? A lot has happened in recent hours."

"Well, Saya. Kaidan. The poison," Jase said as he quickly went to the men's restroom.

"Hmmm this could take some time." Edi went into a full and detailed account of what had transpired.

Jase washed his hands as he listened to Edi patiently and continued on upstairs, taking a quick shower and changing into fresh clothes. As he combed his hair he frowned.

"' _Death and pain to those who stopped the Reapers_ '? Edi, when replacing the word Reaper with enkindler I'd say the source is the crazed jellyfish of a hanar we arrested on the Citadel."

"That could be Shepard, but the doctor is of the belief that the poison is of Salarian design. Did you not 'piss off' the Dalatrass?"

Jase looked at his reflection, there were still dark circles under his eyes and he looked like he hadn't eaten in days. Which, in itself, was actually true.

"I did," Jase said and tucked at his beard hairs. A shave was needed and he got to it right away.

"Alright. Let's say it's being used to lead us off track and to the hanar. We have Balak who claims his family member is trying to push him out. He needs our help and helps us in return. The group who attacked us on earth was a mix of a Krogan, two Vorcha and Batarians. Let's say the Krogan was just a hired gun. The batarian planning this went to the Dalatrass? No," he said as the razor went over his right cheek, "they wouldn't. It's likely the Dalatrass approached them. How do we prove this?"

"I can think of only one way Shepard. Once the Captain is well enough... we use her as bait to draw out the mastermind."

Jase was silent for a while and finished to shave off his beard while thinking. "Edi, she's been through a lot. This whole thing not just implies revenge for the Bahak System, but also revenge for curing the Genophage. Which I did."

Jase applied his aftershave and hissed a little when it stung. He should change back to the other brand. If they were producing again.

"I'm going to see Kaidan," Jase announced. He couldn't make that decision by himself, Saya needed to speak her mind too and soon he'd deliver the two Asari.

Once down on the level he went to the kitchen, grabbed some food for himself, including two bottles of water and added two more sandwiches. In case Kaidan needed something too.  


Kaidan was still wearing the breathing mask when Jase entered. He looked up in surprise when he saw the visitor.

"Hey Kaidan, had to convince Edi to let me inside," Jase pointed out as he went to him, placing down the food.

Kaidan just looked at the food then looked back out the window,

"You shouldn't be here. I'm dangerous."

Jase nodded eventually, keeping the distance. As Edi had pointed out, there was a slight possibility of him catching it again. "Well. Not by free will Kaidan. Saya's been asleep when I left med-bay."

Kaidan bowed his head and closed his eyes.

"She'll be okay?" He was trembling with emotion.

"Think so. Doc's sleeping too, can only mean good things." Jase uncapped the bottle of water and took a long good drink from it. "How are **you** doing Kaidan."

"How should I be doing?? I was kidnapped for the two purposes: 1) so they could take Saya and 2) so that if she got rescued I would be the one who killed her."

Jase placed the bottle onto the floor and leaned back at the wall, folding his arms. A lot of thoughts came and went as the silence stretched on for minutes.

"It's not your fault though."

Kaidan snorted a little bit.

"I should have fought them harder on Earth. Maybe if I had none of this would have happened."

"Well. That makes two of us then," Jase replied, watching his head and the scenery of the galaxy. "We would have won Kaidan, if they hadn't been using the gas."

Kaidan got up and went to the window, leaning his head against it.

"I can't even be near her Jase... I can't go to her... It's killing me being locked up."

"Yeah. I get that," Jase nodded, knowing what that one felt like. "Look, we're hitting Thessia soon. Maybe I can round up another doctor, get Doc Novak some more help. He sure could use it."

"Yeah....sure... whatever you think is best." Kaidan replied.

Jase suppressed the sigh he felt crawling up his throat and rubbed his head. "You got a suggestion, tell me."

"Just... do what you want. You're in charge until she's back on her feet."

"Am I. If the Alliance catches me here, I'm in deep shit." Jase picked up his bottle, ready to leave but he stopped. "Well. I'd appreciate to hear any suggestions you have."

Kaidan closed his eyes then slowly sank to his knees.

"I wish I had some..."

"Kaidan.....," Jase said softly, rubbing his face and turned to leave. "Don't give up hope. I'll keep you informed." The door opened and he stood in it for a moment. "Just don't give up."

Outside he looked at Edi, who was now scanning him. "Do I pass the test?"

"You do Shepard. I am, however, extremely worried about Commander Alenko. He seems very depressed and no matter what I do I cannot seem to cheer him up."

Jase nodded, having figured as much. "That's not easily done Edi. A joke, for example, doesn't cheer someone up who's going through a hard time like Kaidan." 

On the other hand, Jase thought, Jeff cracking his jokes had helped him. "Well, not everyone. Sometimes having someone close by, offering silent support with their presence can be help enough. What have you been trying?"

"I have tried on numerous occasions to engage him in conversations. I have also attempted to interest him in games. When I first went to him I had to ensure he could not get to his pistol."

That was some kind of bad news and Jase just looked at her for a half a minute before he finally answered.

"Good you did. Don't give it back to him. But, leave him be. There are books inside, he likes to read. Edi, you said when he uses his biotics the level of the poison's dropping. How low is it now?"

"Not as low as it should be - he stopped using his biotics an hour ago as every time he fired off something his nose began to bleed and it scared him."

Jase nodded. "He knows his body best Edi. Kaidan's always been the responsible kind of guy and level headed. We have to trust him with this. While I'm gone, keep an eye on him, will you. But... don't disturb him every ten minutes. I'm in the war room."  


A part of him was hoping Saya would wake up soon and the married pair could at least talk to each other. Until they hit Thessia Jase wanted to go and talk to Balak, discuss the list and see where things went with the batarians. For now he wouldn't tell him about the poison, wanting to feel the alien out if he knew anything about it.

Once that was out of the way Jase looked at the console in front of him and scratched his head. "I'm not a politican, I'm a soldier," he muttered, shaking his head eventually as he left the room, wondering if Jeff was awake yet.

Saya was weakly sitting on the bed in the med bay when Jase returned - Arlen and Jeff still both snoring lightly. She rubbed her eyes then blinked hard.

"Hey sis," Jase whispered as he approached her. "How you feeling?"

She slowly looked up at him, breathing a bit harder than normal.

"Not sure... weird but at least alive. You?"

"Fine," he answered softly, brushing her hair out of her face, "you're still a bit warm. We're heading to Thessia, dropping off the Asari."

Irimsaya nodded a very little bit and groaned, holding her stomach.

"Dammit I need to get out of here... Jase.. how's Kaidan?"

"Well. Blaming himself. It's still in him Saya. Doc's been working his ass off I heard. You need to sleep some more."

"I can't... Every time I close my eyes I can feel them... touching me.. kissing me... biting me... I can't handle it anymore."

Jase looked at her worried, he nearly had forgotten about this, the poison in their bodies being too resent. "Yeah, I get that... I'm sorry sis. For all of this and kissing you, too."

"Oh don't worry we're going to discuss that at length later. At great length." she raised her eyebrows at him a bit and tried to smile.

"Alright. Just, try to rest, you'll feel a lot better. Trust me on that. I'm taking Cortez and the shuttle and try to round up some help for the Doc. Kaidan and you, you need each other. I'll see you later."

Irimsaya grabbed Jase's hand.

"I want to go with you."

Jase looked down at her hand and he had no idea what possessed him in that moment, but he nodded.

"Okay. Doc comes with us, though."

"Agreed." Saya was smiling. "Where's Kaidan? I should see him first.."

Jase sighed softly, "That's part of the problem. The poison's in him. Doc put him under quarantine, you're not allowed to see each other. If you do, you'll..."

"If you do, ma'am, you'll die," Arlen said groggily. "I'm sorry, I woke up."

Irimsaya looked back and forth between them.

"Oh gods this must be driving him insane!! He probably blames himself for everything!!"

"He does," Jase replied. "I've been talking to him, making sure he's alright, considering.."

"Wait," Arlen nearly snapped while getting out of the bed, having picked up on something else. "Did you visit him?"

"Yes, I brought him some food and we.."

"With all due respect sir, are you insane?! And you come back here, talk to your sister, standing right next to her when you could carry the poison somewhere on yourself now?! Have you lost your mind?!" Arlen didn't bother putting on his shoes and went to the siblings, scanning them, feeling totally furious. If they had messed up his success and their health....

Saya stared at their doctor in both surprise and shock.

"Is... could he... is that possible??"

"Yes! Possibility is given! One of the flakes your husband exhales and it will be problematic again."

"Doc, calm down. Edi's been making sure there's nothing on me." He was somewhat amused, but also disturbed. He could wash the doctor's head, but Saya would and could do it, if she wanted to.

Arlen narrowed his eyes at the Commander, fixing him with a stare which seemed to amuse the man a bit more even. "Edi, is this true? And you let him inside?"

"I deemed the risk within acceptable parameters Doctor. The area in which the Commander is currently quarantined contains minimal signs of the poison thanks to the breathing apparatus you have made him wear. I did not see any risk to Shepard paying him a visit and attempting to feed him since nobody else has thought to bring him food." Edi replied.

"Edi, Kaidan's not a pet to feed." Jase replied, somewhat amused, but that feeling soon left him as he looked at their good Doctor.

"Oh, alright, if you think the risk was acceptable then it must have been." And the scans indeed proved this as well. Then his stomach growled noisily.

"What..?" Arlen replied, as both were staring at him. "I'm a doctor, not a chef! I've been working for more than two days, nobody's brought me any food."

"I apologize for that oversight Doctor, I will attempt to rectify that for you." Edi stated in a matter of fact voice.

"Be careful what you wish for Doc..." Saya said. "Oh by the way - feel like a trip to Thessia with us?"

Arlen wanted to say that sometimes Edi feels and acts like a mother, but he didn't. Thessia? Us? He eyed them both again. 

"Captain, I would strongly advice against it and I could overrule... Jesus, what is with you two Shepards? I'll go with you of course, as I could use some fresh air to be honest." Arlen checked the time, noting he had barely slept for three hours.

"I will get ready, sir. Ma'am."

"Meet us in 20 in the shuttle bay," Jase said, just having seen Jeff moving around on his bed.

"Yes sir," came the voice from him already walking towards the door. "I'll be there."

"Where is Kaidan, Jase? Is there a way for me to see him and talk to him without being in the same room?"

"He's in starboard observation Saya. There's a security field in front of the door."

Irimsaya nodded and stood up, leaning on the bed for a moment to get some strength.

Jase watched her go and went to Jeff, wrapping him into a careful embrace, kissing him several times, feeling lucky they weren't facing the problems Saya and Kaidan had right now.

Then she went to the starboard observation door and opened it, gazing past the field to her imprisoned husband.

"Kaidan..."

Kaidan got off the floor slowly. "Saya? Thank god... you're awake. I thought the Doctor said I couldn't see you."

"I can't come past the barrier Kaidan... I'm sorry he had to lock you up like this. I just... I want you to stop blaming yourself - please. For me."

Kaidan looked at her long, seeing how tired she still was and pale.

"Saya.. I. I don't know if I can. First I betray you, give away the codes and allow them to take you from me. And then they form me into another kind of weapon, poisoning you while loving you? I know it's not my fault but it IS. Instead of staying at your side they locked me up. First in our quarters, and now I'm here."

"Kaidan, I love you too much to let you do this to yourself." Saya leaned on the nearby wall, trying to stay focused. "We *will* be together again, I promise you that - one way or another we'll be together again. I uh... I'm going to Thessia with Jase and Novak - I need to work my legs a bit.. is there anything I can get you?"

Kaidan watched her for a bit and nodded eventually. "I would appreciate a cure and maybe, once this is over, us going back home to .. rest, with our children." He rubbed his tired eyes unsure of what else to say. "I'll be here.. and wait.. for you to come back. And for you, I'll try to eat something even. I, I love you too, Saya."

Irimsaya gently put her hand on the barrier then turned and went to meet up with Jase and Novak.


	8. Chapter Eight

Jase was in the cockpit, having a chat with Steve while Arlen was huddled up in a corner as best as he could, yawning away with his eyes closed.

"Are we ready?" Saya asked as she boarded the shuttle.

"Nearly. There they are," Jase said, joining her at the door and nodded towards the two asari.

Arlen stood up, feeling embarrassed now and watched the two asari boarding the shuttle. They were silent, as usual and he made sure he kept a respectful distance to them as he glanced at his Captain, then over to the Commander and eventually peered into the cockpit.

"Alright Steve, we have a go." Jase said, patting the wall.

"We're on our way sir and ma'am." Cortez called back. "We'll be landing in just a few minutes."

And truthfully, just as Steve had said, they arrived a few minutes later and were greeted by a few Asari, taking care of the two former slaves.

Jase thought he should have tried to get in touch with Samara, see where she was and maybe, if on Thessia, they could have met. Instead he went with the group, the Doc chattering away with the other Doctor and Jase gave Saya a small knowing grin. They'd hopefully come up with a plan on how to help Kaidan.

Saya smiled a very little bit and looked around, heaving a heavy sigh as she saw the damage still around from the Reapers.

Jase was about to say something when the two doctors stopped and the Asari actually asked Arlen how old he was.

"I'll be 25 soon," Arlen answered, somewhat proud even and didn't notice that Jase turned around to watch them.

"Oh, but then you are still considered a baby," the blue skinned Doctor said and Jase's eyes fell onto Arlen.

"B..baby?" he asked, totally baffled, raised one eyebrow and Jase saw that his ears actually moved backwards. Like a dog pulling back the ears. 

"I'm an adult, fully grown and uh, developed. I'm human Doctor, not asari," he huffed and began pointing out, "we're reaching adulthood with 18 years. At this age we can also marry or enlist with the Alliance."

The asari doctor started to grin a little bit, "Well young one, you still have much to learn. I was merely trying to enlighten this conversation by joking."

"Joking," Arlen replied, not really trusting this but eventually he nodded and added an even somewhat insecure laugh. "Sure."

"Please this way to the labs, Doctor," the asari said, nodding towards the entry of a building. It looked new and old, as if debris had been reused. And soon the asari went on to explain, "We have rebuilt them and currently they are the most complete and advanced facilities on Thessia."

She stopped then walking and turned towards Saya. 

"Captain Shepard? Creating this cure will take time. We have begun rebuilding the Temple of Athame and from what I understand, your Commander was here before the end of the war. If you wish I could arrange for a transport."

Saya grinned.

"Please do! He has been cooped up under quarantine for too long but... I'll have to leave."

"Leave? To where?" Jase wondered. And he knew Saya had misunderstood the asari as she had been talking about him and not Kaidan. "You and I, we could go to that temple."

Saya rubbed her face and shrugged a little, getting tired.

"Open to suggestions here."

Jase shrugged a little, feeling the Doctors their eyes on them. "Why don't we go and visit the temple all together once he's cured. You and I, we might go for a walk." Or something. 

"There are a few places which have been cleared," the asari explained, "however they are not as complete as before the Reapers attacked us."

Jase looked at Saya, shrugging a little and nodded.

"I'm sorry sir, ma'am," Arlen spoke up. "I should have suggested taking the Commander with us in another shuttle."

Irimsaya forced another smile to her face.

"It's alright I'm sure Cortez doesn't mind pretending he's a taxi. He's no doubt just glad to be flying the shuttle around again. Do you want Jeff down here too Jase?"

"Would love to have him around," Jase agreed.

"Then I don't see any reason why he can't join us. Edi is perfectly capable of keeping herself in orbit." Saya stopped walking and leaned against a nearby wall, feeling a little bit drained.

"Hey hey...," Jase said softly as he wrapped an arm around her waist to support her. Jase noticed a flash of brown hair appearing out of nowhere and the unmistakeable scent of their doctor filled his nose.

"Captain, please take it easy. If you were on the ship, I would order you to bed." Arlen sighed even a little, nearly wanting to beg her to make things not so hard as he needed to fully concentrate on the Alenko problem.

Saya noted the sound of frustration in the doctor's voice and she looked at the ground.

"Sorry to trouble all of you. I'll get Cortez to take me back to the ship when he goes to get Kaidan and Joker."

Arlen was about to say something but Jase was faster. "No one gets sent back to the ship. The Captain needs some fresh air."

Arlen backed off then, nodding, having understood. "Yes sir. Ma'am, I'll just be.. with the doctor, prepare everything."

Jase watched him leave and looked back at his sister, "Good boy. Our doctor."

"Mh.. maybe so but we'll see." Saya leaned into Jase for support and closed her eyes, feeling safe. "Jase, I don't think Kaidan's ever going to forgive himself and I don't know what to do."

There was something like a bench close by and Jase took her to it, sitting down. He kept his arm around her, feeling even lucky that she still trusted him and was trying to keep her warm while at the same time thinking about their problem.

"Well, first he needs Novak's help. You both need each other. I could talk to him, again."

"Well he does seem to listen to you but I'm worried Jase. I'm worried that... that he won't want to be with me anymore..."

"Now what makes you think that?" Jase frowned. "After all you both have been through, why should he feel like that?"

"Think about it Jase. They took him to get the codes from him. He feels like he betrayed us - me - because those codes let them get to me. Then they used him as a weapon to try to kill me."

"I'd question him if he didn't. He has every right to feel like this. But. You just don't give up the one you love."

"I'm not planning to. Ever." She sighed and rubbed her eyes. "Maybe me coming here wasn't the best idea I've ever had."

"No, you need the change of scenery. Well." Jase moved a little, allowing her to get more comfortable if she needed a nap. "Your Kaidan's a bit different from mine. It's been too long to give you a good advice on him. But, he's feeling responsible."

"Hmmm he always feels that way." Saya snuggled into Jase as best she could and closed her eyes. "You make a damned good pillow you know..."

Jase chuckled softly, "Yeah, Jeff's saying the same. Get some sleep. I won't leave."

"Are you sure you don't mind? I don't want to but I can barely keep my eyes open.." Saya really didn't want to inconvenience her brother.

Jase just shook his head, smiling a little and rubbed her back. "You know the answer, sis."

Irimsaya sighed softly at that and closed her eyes, letting herself drift off into a light sleep.

While Saya was asleep Jase took the time to look around. Only parts were being rebuilt and the damage he saw was a lot more severe than it had been when they were going to the temple. A warzone, like it had been back home in his youth. Only here, people were rebuilding. Jase then decided to ignore that thought and went on to just watching while gently rubbing Saya's back. 

His face lit up when Jeff was slowly walking to him.

Joker smiled at the pair of them there.

"She looks really out of it." He whispered as he got close enough. "She okay?"

Jase moved a very little so that Jeff could sit at his other side. 

"Considering everything she's gone through in the past week, yeah. So far," Jase whispered and leaned in, stealing a kiss from him. "How are you doing? Can't have been easy on you either."

"That's putting it mildly." Joker replied in a whisper after returning the kiss. "You two are gonna make me gray before I should be."

Jase nodded and laid his other free arm now around Jeff. "Well, I'm sorry for that. Guess I need to get used to you getting gray," he joked softly.

Joker snorted a little bit at that.

"Kaidan's with the doctors now - boy he wasn't happy when that asari started asking him about his implant. It was almost like, I dunno, like Kaidan's a lab rat to experiment with you know?"

Jase narrowed his eyes in thought. "Doc's got a good mouth and doesn't take any bullshit. He'll watch out for him. When Saya wakes up, we'll pay them a visit."

"Probably a good idea. Kaidan actually looked ready to bust a few heads open when I left him." Joker sighed softly and leaned into Jase's arm. "Although to be frank if I were in his position I'd probably feel the same way."

Jase nodded at the news, not liking them at all and placed a kiss onto his hat. 

"Agreed," he whispered. "Didn't expect the asari doc to give Kaidan problems. She did call Novak a baby though."

"Apparently she's never seen a human biotic before and it...'intrigues' her."

"I don't like the sound of that," Jase sighed and hit the comm, speaking quietly to Arlen. "Doc, listen. Don't let anyone tinker around with Kaidan's implant. He's sensitive to this topic and not a lab rat. Got it?"

" _Uh, yes. How do you ...? Never mind. Of course, sir."_

"Good. Need _anything_ , let me know." With a soft sigh Jase tried to get a bit more comfortable himself and just fell silent, enjoying the closeness of Jeff and Saya for some time.

Irimsaya gasped awake and leaped away from whoever was touching her, looking around and breathing hard in confusion.

Jase was startled out of his thoughts and the sudden emptiness at his one side was unnerving.

"Saya?" He wanted to ask what is going on, but didn't voice it.

Her breathing slowing, Saya realized she must have been dreaming again.

"Jase?... Oh gods I'm so sorry... I...I was in another nightmare..."

Jase was watching her and eventually nodded. Dealing with nightmares was one thing but dealing with nightmares caused by sexual abuse, which it was in his books, Jase barely had any experience in this.

"Okay. It's okay. No one will harm you. What do you need?"

She shook her head a bit and forced her body to relax.

"Nothing... I'll be fine, I'm sorry."

"Okay," he said, looking at Jeff. Though he doubted he was getting any other insight. He gave her some more breathing room for a while, keeping an eye on Saya now and then.

Saya rubbed her eyes again and looked at the men before her.

"I need to see Kaidan... please..."

"Sure," Jase nodded and got up, giving Jeff his hand. "Let's see how Kaidan's doing."

Irimsaya led the way to where Kaidan was being held and frowned a little bit when she saw Novak pacing outside the room where the asari had taken Kaidan.

"Doctor?? Why aren't you with him?"

Arlen felt all eyes on him and it were way too many for his likes. His ears started to turn red, he could tell. 

"Someone locked the door," he stated and went on. "Doctor Inaria asked me to get this datapad and I come back and the door is closed! Erm, ma'am."

rimsaya stared at him then ran to the door, pounding on it.

"LET ME IN DAMMIT!!"

She could hear muffled protests and groans and began to wonder what this Asari was doing to her husband.

Arlen watched in horror now, knowing something was wrong. "I called Commander Shepard, didn't you receive my call?"

"Saya, let me," Jase said, moving to her. "Let me slice it. Doc, what about Kaidan, is the poison gone?"

"Yes sir, we were nearly done. It was just a matter of minutes actually!"

"Can the Captain go inside without risking her health or not?"

"Yes! I mean she won't risk her health." Arlen answered quickly.

Jase nodded and looked at his sister.

Irimsaya had barely controlled rage in her eyes.

"Get. that. door. open. NOW."

Jase was about to reply he's working on it when he finally was done and the door opened.

Staring into the room Saya felt her rage grow. In front her lying strapped to a bed was her husband. He had his eyes on her pleading for help as the Asari attempted to finish toying with his implant.

"Get away from him!!" Irimsaya yelled at the Asari.

Jase went after Saya inside going directly to the doctor.

Arlen was on their heels as well. "I told you the implants can't be touched or removed! It will cause permanent brain damage!"

Ignoring Jase's warning hand on her arm, Saya launched herself at the Asari with Kaidan and punched her as hard as she could, breaking the alien's nose.

"Nobody messes with my husband." She growled.

There was the hint of a reply coming from Jase but only the sound of the punch and the doctor dropping to the ground was heard, among Saya's growling voice.

"Hah! Serves you right!" Arlen half cheered before the doctor in him kicked into place, going to the asari and dragged her away from Kaidan.

"Doctor!" Jase warned, as he helped his sister to free her husband.

Irimsaya ignored them all, focused solely on Kaidan and the fact that he wasn't really responding to them.

"Doctor? He...he seems off somehow... what did she do to him??"

Arlen went to his patient right away, checking him over. 

"Sedatives, to keep him calm." 

He then went on to check the implant and found the amp was missing. "The implant itself appears to be intact. She didn't touch it yet, but his bio-amp is missing, ma'am."

Jase went over to the other tablets and tables and came back with a small container in his hands. "This one doctor?"

"Oh, yes. Thank you sir." He took it, checked it but frowned. "It's been tempered with."

"Tampered with?? What the hell were they trying to do to him??" Saya began caressing Kaidan's face gently, noting he seemed to calm down a bit at the touch.

"I don't know ma'am, not yet. But there are signs on it which indicate it. I thought asari knew everything about biotics! I told her I will forward her any scientific reports and literature she might find interesting," he sighed, "why can't people just be patient?"

Jase went to check on the asari doctor and got her to sit up, as she was slowly coming to again. Now he hoped they wouldn't have to deal with another political fall out, despite her having brought it on herself.

Saya gently kissed Kaidan's forehead then looked at Arlen.

"Will it damage his ability to function? Not having it in I mean? I don't really understand much about how they work to be honest."

"Right now he can't channel his biotic abilities into a skill," Arlen explained. "As soon as it's replaced he will be able to again."

Kaidan sighed softly at the kiss, feeling himself more and more relaxing.

"Shhh it's okay Kaidan, you're safe now I promise." Saya looked at Arlen again. "If it channels his abilities, and that's all it does, they why would anyone *want* to tamper with it and not the implant itself?"

"Ma'am, there is only one explanation. Either to damage it and cause an imperfect skill, resulting in more severe damage to the biotic himself, or to replace it eventually with one of another desired skill."

"Or to replace it with a fake implant. Have it detonate in the middle of the squad," Jase said and Arlen nodded at this. Possible too.

Irimsaya gently checked the area where Kaidan's implant was located and frowned.

"I thought you said it was missing? There's an amp in there.. but it doesn't look right.."

"Yes I said this and I just checked it, how can it be suddenly there? Let me see please....," Arlen went over to Kaidan. Something didn't make sense. Either he was losing his mind, hadn't had not enough sleep or was going really crazy. 

"No, this one doesn't look right. We should remove it, just to be sure."

Jase just watched them and did a scan on the implant while Kaidan finally could move his hand and took hold of her arm.

Irimsaya tried to smile when she felt Kaidan's hand on her arm.

"It's okay sweetie, I promise it's okay." She gently placed her free hand over his.

Kaidan tried to nod but then he let his eyes rest on Arlen, trying to warn her as something was wrong with the young man. He had been acting out of character in the past hour.

Jase narrowed his eyes a little in thought and walked a few feet away, scanning Arlen. And his eyebrows shot up.

Arlen suddenly found himself pressed into the ground, arms behind his back, a knee pressing into his back and hands being held tightly.

"C..Commander?" Arlen asked, both surprised and alarmed.

"He's got a control chip in his head," Jase grunted out, looking at Saya.

Saya's mouth parted a bit in shock.

"What?? Then..." She looked down at Kaidan then back to Arlen. "You let them do this?!"

"No!" Arlen protested, "in the hour that I was here we've been working on the cure for the Commander! I don't know why Dr. Inaria kept wanting to play around with his implant and bio-amp. Asari are natural biotics!"

"Doc, you've been gone for two hours."

"No. No it was just an hour." Arlen shook his head a little.

"Doc," Jase said warningly, "two hours. Two hours. So, you got a control chip in your head and no one knows about this?!"

"It's in my file, has no one actually been reading it?"

"Kaidan did." Irimsaya said and looked at Jase. "But there was no mention of any kind of chip that I know of."

"Well, he's got one in his head," Jase said and was about to suggest giving him a room on the ship and some guards in front of it.

"It's inactive, ma'am," was about all Arlen could make himself say right now as doctors had told him it was. "The Alliance wouldn't have taken me in otherwise."

"Then you tell me why you've lost an hour and let them do this to my husband if it's inactive!"

There was only one possible explanation. 

"Someone must have activated it," Arlen whispered. "You have to lock me away, I'm a security risk."

Jase sighed softly and looked at Saya. They should call Steve with the shuttle and a few armed marines, get Kaidan onto the ship and their Doctor into the brig.

Irimsaya stared at Arlen for a second longer then helped Kaidan get on his feet, putting his one arm around her shoulders since he could barely stand.

"Right now I'm more concerned about what they were trying to do to Kaidan to be honest. We'll keep the doctor in the med bay for now, he should be okay there."

"Alright. I'll get you to the shuttle. Jeff and I stay here and deal with any political fallout and return later," Jase said, thinking of the temple as well.

Arlen felt himself being lifted up onto his feet and walked along. By now he was wondering when it had been activated and fed with data and what else he had done. What if he had infected the Commander and had sabotaged his biotics when he first had encountered the infection? Or maybe he had developed the poison even for her husband? What if this was his doing? Had he lost more hours? What he knew was having a murderous headache by now and feeling extremely tired, which could have caused by the use of the control chip or lack of sleep.

Kaidan tried to walk along as best as he could as his feet and legs had a mind of their own. Walking a straight line was extremely difficult. The more he was surprised when he finally understood that on his other side was Joker walking along.

"Try to focus if you can Kaidan, I know your mind must be a mess right about now." Saya said, helping him along as best she could and grateful for Joker being on his other side.

Kaidan nodded and tried to say a yes but wasn't sure if his tongue was working. His brain and eyes believed he was walking straight, but he felt he wasn't. When they finally reached the shuttle Kaidan sighed softly as he sat down, still leaning into Saya.

Irimsaya looked at Jase and Joker as she let Kaidan relax against her.

"If you still want to visit that temple I would advise doing it now because I'm not sure if or when we'll be coming back to this world."

Jase nodded and took a look at their Doctor. He trusted him and yet, for now, he didn't. Jase went and secured his hands, not wanting to risk anything and saw the same conclusion in the man's eyes. Among hurt, guilt and something else.

"Thanks." Jase said as he turned to Jeff, taking his hand. He was a bit concerned about the amount of walking he'd already done on this day.

Joker watched as Cortez took off in the shuttle then he turned his eyes to his husband.

"So... a temple huh?"

"Yeah. The temple. Where Leng owned me." Jase sighed a bit. "It's good to see how they're rebuilding though."

"I still wish I could've fought down here with you. Anywhere with you actually. I would love to have seen you in action."

Jase smiled at this. "Hell yeah. I loved it when I saw you holding that gun, firing at the Collectors before their base blew up."

Joker laughed.

"Did it make you all hot and bothered? Cause if it did I'm all for doing it again..."

Jase laughed a little. "It did and still does. I could close the door to your cockpit and just ravage you in your luxurious seat. But, then there's this part who feels caged on the ship. Like an animal."

"Hmm... well I really don't know how to help you with that to be honest Jase..."

Jase stopped walking with him and laid his arms around his waist, drawing him close. Just Jeff talking to him like this was having the desired effect. "Maybe time. There's also the shelter, the kids. I enjoy being out here again, but it's not the same. The soldier in me has changed."

"I think there's more of him there than you realize Jase." Joker smiled and leaned against the other man. "And I'm not complaining either way."

"Mmh," the thoughts were wandering into a completely other direction now. "Safe to say the shuttle'll be held up in traffic. What do you say," Jase grinned at him, eyes wandering towards his lips, "we arrive about 15 minutes later than we thought."

"Dare I ask what you have in mind?" Joker teased him.

"Seeing you firing that gun of yours again," Jase teased back and suddenly he laughed, remembering something. "I like guns and firepower. Feels like ages ago when I said this."

"No comment... staying wisely silent..." Joker grinned.

Jase just nudged him carefully and gave him a kiss before they took this further to the shuttle.

Joker playfully went with him.  
  


Irimsaya was gently stroking Kaidan's hair as he tried to rest.

"How much longer until we dock Cortez?"

"The Normandy is already in sight, Captain," Steve replied as he was working on the panel to land them safely. Arlen was sitting on his seat, hands secured behind his back and had his head slightly bowed.

Kaidan finally found his mouth working again. "Saya?"

"Shhh it's okay Kaidan, I promise. Anyone tries to hurt you again and it'll be over my dead body." Her voice was shaking with barely controlled anger.

That brought a small smile onto his face. "Please don't." And now that he was healed, at least, Kaidan reached out to her, needing a hug as much as she needed it herself.

Irimsaya gently pulled him into her arms and held him there, closing her eyes at the contact.

"I swear to you Kaidan I'm going to find out who's responsible for this and I *will* make them pay dearly."

"And I will follow you, Captain," Kaidan said softly, teasing her a very little by saying her rank. "We've gathered a lot of intel and should be able to track them down."

"Mmmh but not until you rest up Commander. I'll need you at your best."

Kaidan nodded. "I'll rest, as soon as we're in our cabin." Kaidan motioned towards their doctor and whispered, "The first hour he kept the asari Doctor away from my implant. Suddenly he'd changed, as if someone had hit a switch."

"Do you remember who strapped you down? Who tried to sedate you?" Saya asked, also in a whisper that only Kaidan could hear.

Kaidan nodded and whispered back, "Both. The asari took lead and gave orders. Dr. Novak followed and sedated me. I tried to argue him out of it, but he had this blank look on his face..."

"We have landed, Captain," Steve informed the Captain.

Saya was breathing hard with her anger.

"Alright Cortez, thank you. Call for a security escort to take the doctor to the med bay please. I'm going to take our XO and make sure he rests."

Kaidan was watching his wife, seeing all the anger passing her face. The door to the shuttle opened and they took their Doctor to the med-bay. Cortez passed them with a nod and left the shuttle, attending his other duties.

Irimsaya stood up and helped Kaidan to his feet again, gently putting his one arm around her shoulders once more so he could lean on her.

"Come on, let's get you to bed."

Kaidan nodded and was half asleep on his feet as he walked with her to their cabin. "Where's Jase and Joker?"

"Jase wanted to see the temple on Thessia again... he was also afraid that I'd started a diplomatic incident by breaking the nose of the Asari who was cutting you open to get to your implant."

"Oh. Hehe," Kaidan then laughed a little, "would have served her right. I'm sorry, I shouldn't think like this. I'm an Alliance Officer and should ... not think like this."

"Ahh well you're drugged up so the words coming out of that mouth of yours don't make sense anyway." Saya laughed as she got him into their quarters.

Kaidan carefully walked down the few stairs with her and fell onto their bed, groaning in bliss. "Okay, this bed is a lot softer than the couch in observation," he sighed and moved to get more comfortable. "You stayin' wit' me?" Kaidan asked, head half buried in his cushion already.

All he heard was the arming of her pistol in response.

"Damn right I am." Saya muttered. "Sleep Kaidan."

"'kay," came the soft reply and he was sound asleep.

Saya watched him for awhile then went to her terminal and began doing some research. Someone was going to pay dearly for this.


	9. Chapter Nine

Arlen entered the med-bay and stood there silently for a while. He should clean up, sort the beds, sort the pads. Restock, take stock of their medi-gel, what he needed and would need. The head was aching badly and it traveled down his spine as he rubbed his neck. 

Arlen went and got himself a strong painkiller and swallowed it down. There were people walking around outside of med-bay. Some seemed to look longer at him but it could have been just his imagination. Arlen reached out to the terminal, wanting to call his dad. Foster-dad, adopted-dad or whatever the real title was. But he was his dad. Or, _had_ been his dad. No, he couldn't call him, not anymore. The reapers had killed him.

"Work," he simply said and started to sort the med-bay, slowly. And made a lot of mistakes. Some he found, some he didn't. Eventually he sat down at his desk and once again saw all the people outside. With a sigh, he reached into the drawer and pulled out his flute, taking it with him into the server room where he sat down on the weird bed at the end and just started playing.

Edi's voice came over the speaker to Arlen.

"What are you doing Doctor?"

There was a weird sounding tune suddenly as she had startled him. "Edi..? I'm uh, playing my flute."

"It is a very... soothing sound Doctor. I am impressed by your skill."

"Thank you," Arlen answered, studying his flute. "It helps me to relax when playing these songs. I've been playing her since my 9th birthday."

"Would you allow me to record some of what you play? I would like to have them for my crew records."

"Uhm, why?" Arlen asked puzzled. "Of course, you can. I'll play for you, Edi."

"Thank you doctor." Edi began to record when he started to play again.

Arlen wasn't sure when it would be enough but at some point he just forgot about it and kept playing for himself for some time.  
  


Irimsaya stood up and rubbed her neck. There was something about this whole situation that was bugging her. Something that just didn't feel right and she couldn't put her finger on it.

Arlen stopped playing somewhere and was just thinking then. About the day, the implant, the other doctor, the bio-amp, the Commanders and his Captain. 

"Edi?"

"Yes Doctor? What can I do for you?" Edi replied promptly.

"I have a," Arlen started softly, "a control chip in my head. Someone activated it today and made me do.. things. It can't be removed and it is a very old model." He paused, wondering what she was going to say to this. "It means, someone was close enough to activate it and obviously knew about it."

"The only one close to you the entire time was the Captain." Edi responded, sounding concerned.

Arlen frowned and it turned even deeper. "No, she wouldn't do anything to harm her husband. Or make me do things. The Commander and his husband were close to me too, or Steve Cortez in the shuttle. Or Commander Alenko. And both had their chips removed. Edi... has had anyone else access to my file?"

"The only person to view your file in it's entirety was Commander Alenko when he asked you to come aboard. He gave the reason of wanting to give you a second chance."

"A second chance. Well, I believe that one is gone now too, Edi." 

But it still didn't answer the original question on who had been activating it

"Inquiry doctor. Could the slavers have somehow altered our Captain's cerberus implants to send a signal to yours?"

"It would require knowledge. If they had this, it could be possible. My chip is old and someone must have been close to me." Arlen didn't like this. "Edi... if it is.. then who is to say they didn't make me do things before today? What if.. I.. created the poison for Commander Alenko and Captain Shepard?"

"Do you not think I would have stopped you if you had done something like that Doctor? I monitor all my crew to ensure their safety."

"Oh. Okay," Arlen said and pulled up his legs to wrap his arms around them. Somehow he felt naked now.

"Okay, well. We should find out about the Captain's implants and. Commander Alenko? I need to replace his bio-amp. The current one looks fishy."

"Unfortunately until we have determined that you cannot be activated again, I cannot allow you access to anyone else on the crew but myself. My body could be there in minutes if you wish."

"Oh," was all he said for a while, as this news was sinking in. Isolation. Orders. Of course they had been watching him then, of course the crew knew about it.

"I'm a Doctor, I heal people and help them, but I don't hurt them," he said quietly. The place on this ship has seemed like a godsend and now it felt like it was turning into another nightmare. "Okay.. okay Edi. Come down then."

The door to the med bay opened and Edi walked back into the server room.

"I am already here Doctor. I was just waiting your permission to join you."

Arlen looked at her in surprise, "Hello Edi."

Edi leaned against the bulkhead and watched him.

"I am curious Doctor. What other forms of relaxation do you partake in?"

Arlen shrugged, thinking about it. "If I have time I read medical literature."

"That is all? You do not... engage in physical activities? Like sports?"

"No, not really," he shook his head. "I'm lean and can sneak along fine when they need me as infiltrator. I'm not good in socializing."

"You seem to do well enough with me, Doctor. I do not understand why you would have a problem in that regard."

Arlen rubbed his eyes. 

"Yes, I do. Maybe it's because you're different from the others too. As soon as people find out I'm.. ah.. still single they try to fix me up with someone. And think of me as a freak when they .. know about the chip in my head. Patients need to be able trust their doctor. But when they think he's controlled by some unseen force, a puppet of someone.. doesn't matter if it's inactive either they just think this and the tiniest.. mistake they think I do or did...," he shrugged.

"Maybe in 20 years someone finds a way to remove it from my head, maybe in 20 years I have found a way myself but I can't remove it from my own head."

"Would you allow me to scan it and send the information to Doctor Chakwas? She is an exceptional medical practitioner."

"Yes, yes of course Edi. She was the one serving on the Normandy before me?" Arlen said and stood up, turning his back to her.

"Everyone has told me if they remove it I'll suffer severe brain damage," he sighed, "and they're right Edi. The best they could offer was acting like a 10 year old. It's a no win-win situation. I either become disabled and a freak, or I am a freak and stay a freak. Well, that's not true. I'm not a freak. I never was, I just had very bad luck. And good luck, too," Arlen rubbed his head, "Yes, definitely good luck. I'm alive, had the chance to grow up peacefully, not being a slave and got a very good education. Good luck. Oh and that's something else people sometimes don't like when being near me. I can talk their ears off."

"Since I only have synthetic ears I do not believe they will 'fall off' from your talking." She cocked her head to one side as she tried to understand. "Unless of course you were being metaphorical."

Arlen actually chuckled a little as he bowed his head, letting her scan it. 

"Yes Edi, definitely the latter. Metaphorical speaking of course. Well, Edi.. guess I have to stay here, and be locked away. And if someone comes and needs my help they won't trust me and think I'll harm them," Arlen said, trying to keep the sadness out of his voice and the tears inside. "Dr. Inaria called me a baby.. maybe she's right and I really am one. It was insulting but not the worst I got to hear."

"Perhaps I could stay with you and monitor you if any procedures are necessary. The crew may be more at ease then."

"Yes. Yes, if they are alright with someone watching....Edi.. I think I'll try to get some sleep. I.. I will take this bunk here. I'll just get a pillow and a blanket from med-bay..," Arlen trailed off as he walked through the server room's door and grabbed the one he had used before off the bed. While the windows were nice, he didn't want to be watched like an animal in a zoo.

"I will not leave you, you may rest easy."

Arlen laid down and got comfortable on the bench and yawned a little. "It's actually too bad that you can't have children Edi, you'd make a great mom. You love your... children... here on this ship. They're lucky to have you around..," he yawned. "Considering you are an AI but so human with everything, you shouldn't be called a synthetic or AI. You're... more than that. Maybe I can think of a word for you... Cyborg is not really fitting either... but.... friend.. is," he trailed off, falling asleep.  
  


Jase had his arm around Jeff's waist and was holding his other hand while walking from their shuttle to the temple. "You want to take a break on that bench over there? Didn't expect we'd have to land so far away."

"Nah I'm okay, but thank you so much for checking." Joker nearly purred as they walked. "You're just sooooo considerate like that..."

Jase chuckled. Sometimes he didn't know if this was compliment or not. "Hey, I love you. What can I say." Jase grinned and nodded at the temple. "Last time I was here... Let's just say I left it in ruins. Now it looks good again."

"The Asari are nothing if not efficient... or so I've been told..." Joker said and sighed happily. "I'm glad I came with you to here... it's so... well peaceful."

"Just wait until you are inside. They got some incredible artifacts there. The Protheans were actually teaching the Asari." Jase paused as he slowly walked with him. "It's nice to see the planet and people getting back onto their feet. Imagine what humanity would do if we would live such a long life."

"I wish we were like that... but we're not are we. And we never will be."

"No," Jase answered and looked around and noted the huge hole in the floor had been fixed. "And I'm glad we won't be. There's still a lot of evil in humanity at times and too much greed. It stops us from evolving even more, to grow beyond ourselves."

"I dunno - you've done a pretty good job. In my totally unbiased opinion of course."

There was a bench and Jase led him over and he sat down on it with him, cuddling a little. "Thanks," he chuckled softly. "You've done your part, too. Flying the flagship of the Alliance, leading the united forces of the galaxy."

"Well gee when you say it like that...." Joker laughed lightly.

"No ship, no hero," Jase pointed out, grinning at him. "Want to take a look at all the artifacts? I could lead you around. Got a first hand lesson in asari history," Jase joked softly.

Joker leaned over and kissed him gently on the cheek.

"Show me what you know big boy."

"With pleasure," Jase purred and slowly led him around, explaining what he had learned the day he had been here. It even surprised him that he was remembering a lot of it and that it had stuck in his mind. Eventually he was with him in front of the statue which had been damaged badly and was currently rebuilt.

"I never saw this door the last time I was here. Let's go inside. Maybe they have remodeled it."

"Hey I go where you go." Joker grinned at him.

Jase laughed softly and they went inside as it opened up another room. He felt like a teenager suddenly and carefully lined him up against the wall, giving him a kiss.

"I wanted to do this already in the temple, but in case some asari get offended...," he grinned at him. "I'd call it schoolboy behaviour, but since I never really went to school for long..."

And then he felt it, the presence of it and Jase slowly turned around. "There's a beacon. Yes, it was here the last time too. It must be massive." He slowly began walking towards it. "Can you feel it, Jeff?"

"Ahhh no and I don't think you should go any closer to it... please..."

Jase looked at him and nodded but was drawn to it though. "Jeff... maybe your theory is right, maybe not. I want to know."

"My theory?? What theory??" Joker had worry in his eyes.

Jase held out his hand for him, a silent promise as well. "The beacon, that it's tied to me. Or reacting to my presence. You said, every time I was close to one something happened. Javik's memory shard didn't react. The last beacon I saw was back on Virmire."

Joker just shook his head and backed away a bit.

"Jase please! Just come back to the ship with me... please...."

"I need to know. I'm sorry. I need to know if you're right." And a few more things. Jase walked towards it and knew when he had to stop, preventing it from pulling him into the air. Something he didn't like repeating. It was a giant beacon, taller and thicker than those he had seen on Virmire and Eden Prime. Before he could see the shift of the light he already felt it and then it opened up. A hole, a window to watch. Filled with voices and whispers, images of past and present.

Joker's eyes were wide with fear as he watched his partner and the beacon.

"Joker to Normandy do you read?"

Irimsaya looked at her console.

"Joker this is Captain Shepard, what is it?" Aware that her voice had made Kaidan stir a bit.

"Uhhh Captain... Saya.... Jase is approaching this big ass beacon on Thessia..."

"He's WHAT? Dammit to hell... I'm on my way Joker, don't let him leave your sight!"

"Aye aye ma'am..."

Kaidan slowly sat up alarmed at the tone in Saya's voice. "What's going on? I'm coming with you."

Jase was mesmerised at the window in front of him. By instinct he thought of a place and it switched to it. Earth. Or where earth once had been. The space where it once was was now filled with debris, rocks and meteors flying around.

' _Thessia'_ \- Destroyed.

' _Palaven' -_ Intact, but heavily destroyed and not inhabitable. A charred rock.

' _Surkesh'_ \- Destroyed.

' _Tuchanka?''_ \- same as earth.  
  
 _'Rhannoch''_ \- The Geth their homeworld now.

' _Kaidan Alenko. Joker. Anderson. Normandy.''_ \- Destroyed at the battle of the Citadel as the Reapers invaded the galaxy without warning. KIA.

More whispers and echos of the past pressed through the portal into his mind and Jase took a step back. _'Enough!'_

" _Shepard? Where are you! We.. I can't do this without you. What happened on Eden Prime? Where have you gone to?"_

"Kaidan? That you?"

" _Shepard? Where are you! We.. I can't do this without you. What happened on Eden Prime?"_

No, he wasn't there, Jase understood this, it was an echo of the past.

" _Udina? Yes, I'm sorry. The Commander is MIA. We don't know what happened. Nihlus is dead, the beacon has been destroyed and we..."_

He could go home, Jase knew this. It felt like this. A few more steps and he could pass through this and go back home. But the home was destroyed. What once was called the blue planet was gone. Another step back and the voices, thoughts and whispers stopped, but the images didn't stop.

'I could go home. I could have gone home, had we known. Home. But everything that's home is gone. Kaidan, the Normandy, Earth, Anderson... Joker. Jeff. He's right. If I had known, I could have gone back home. But now, it's not home anymore.'

" _Jason!"_

"Mom??"

" _Sweetie, yes it's me. You be a good boy and listen to him. He's waiting for you."_

"Who? Who's waiting for me mom?"

" _Your true love, Jason. Go to him, he's waiting for you."_

"Jeff? You mean Jeff?"

" _Who else sweetie, it was your destiny. You were born for this. You and he are meant for each other."_

"Why are you calling me Jason instead of Jase?"

" _Because that's your name. Your father calls you Jase."_

Home. Jeff. Love. Home. Not his world anymore but this world now.

Taking another step backwards brought further distance between Jase and the beacon. The window became smaller, lights flickering as if someone was blowing out a candle.  
  


Enough time had passed though that Irimsaya with Kaidan ran into the temple. Saya felt the beacon as soon as she entered and ran right for it - instinctively knowing something was terribly wrong. When she saw Jase bathed in it's green light she ran to him and tackled him away from it.

Kaidan was right at her heels and rushing towards the siblings lying on the ground. One look at the beacon told him its gigantic size. That no one of the asari had used it surprised him. Joker looked frightened as he glanced at him but Saya and Jase were more important at the moment. Saya needed a hand to get her brother away from it. Kaidan went to her to help her dragging him further away.

"Let me get up... had to see it," Jase protested quietly. "What you doing here...?"

Irimsaya stood up slowly, anger in her eyes.

"What am I doing here?? Do you have ANY idea how badly you just scared your husband?? You were at that thing for over an hour Jase! AN HOUR!"

Kaidan gently rubbed his wife's back, trying to calm her down as Jase slowly got onto his unsteady feet.

"It was... worth it," Jase simply stated, before he turned to face Jeff. "I saw," Jase paused, wondering what it was now. "I saw the world where I came from. But... I won't go back. My place.. is here, at your side."

"Worth it??" Joker stared at him. "I... I thought you were happy here! With me! Now it just sounds like 'oh there's no point in going back so I'll stay'. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?? I just stood here and watched you get... get consumed by that light! I thought I was going to lose you and now.... now I'm a consolation prize??" Joker had tears in his eyes. "Whatever." He turned and walked from the room.

Irimsaya stared at her brother.

"That *really* wasn't the best thing to say..."

"Mh." Was all Jase said for a while as he tried to sort this out in his head. He felt the eyes of Kaidan and Saya burning into his side and he looked at them. It had felt like minutes and not like an hour.

"I'll... just go after him." Apparently he was pretty good at something else. Breaking people's hearts, Jase thought as he walked after Jeff.

Kaidan just stared after them and looked at his wife. "What the....hell did just happen here."

Saya shook her head at Kaidan's question and moved towards the beacon, curious to see if it would react in some way to her as well.

"Eh, Saya, I don't think that's a good idea." Kaidan warned her as he saw her walking towards it. "Please don't."

She was mesmerized by it however, since she had been touched on Eden Prime each beacon held something over her and Jase both. Irimsaya was entranced by it and didn't even hear Kaidan's words.

Kaidan walked with her, reaching out to touch her arm. "Saya? It's over, the Reapers are dead. You don't need to see the warning again."

Irimsaya slowly looked at him.

"Is it over Kaidan? I didn't do much about their warning. Jase did. And yet I still have every god damned image in my head that I can't get rid of. A feeling like... like I should have done something to stop them. Something to destroy them. Like I haven't fulfilled my destiny."

Kaidan nodded slowly, understanding that thought. He went to her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"You married me and gave me two beautiful children. You stopped Sovereign and Saren and took out the Collectors. I know this isn't what your destiny probably was about," he whispered, "but to me .. you mean everything to me."

Saya closed her eyes and melted into his arms.

"Kaidan, I don't know what I would do without you but... I guess I should have told you sooner... I feel like... like I should have done something that I haven't done. I've felt that way since the last battle. Like I...I don't even know how to explain it..."

"I think I do. It might not be the same. It's like I haven't become a biotic but know I should have been one. Like something is missing, knowing I should have done it but didn't."

Irimsaya pulled back a bit and kissed him gently.

"Can you go check on them? I'll be there in a minute."

Kaidan eyed the beacon and nodded eventually. While it had given them the warning the thing also posed like a monster to him. Kaidan gave her another silent plea. "Yes, okay. But.. Shepard, please, don't do anything... stupid. Please."

Irimsaya kissed his cheek gently then watched him go after Jase and Joker. She turned her eyes back to the beacon and sighed softly, just staring at it.

Kaidan sighed softly and let her be, understanding partly why she wanted to be there. When he approached the couple he could hear them arguing.

"You're NOT a convenient replacement, Jeff," Jase argued. "I wouldn't use you like that."

"Really?? Then why? Why would you put yourself through that?! Just so you could see everything? So you could know that *he* was dead??" Joker was trying desperately not to cry.

Kaidan watched them and thought of Saya. 

At the very moment a window opened up again, allowing the other Shepard to witness and watch the other world.

"This isn't about the other Kaidan. This is about where I come from, the old world, my past. About who I am Jeff. It was.. _IS_ my fate."

Joker bit his lip then nodded a bit, right before a scream echoed from the other room as Saya was witness to the horror of the other universe.

Jase was about to reply something but then their eyes locked, he looked at Kaidan and both men were rushing back to the beacon.

Saya was suspended in the air as the beacon filled her mind with the images of death and destruction.

Jase rushed forward, together with Kaidan and he jumped into the air, tackling Saya away from it just as she had done it with him. Both men were kneeling over her then. Kaidan talking to her, stroking her hair and Jase had her hand in his.

"Saya? Saya, look at me please?" Kaidan said, willing her to look at him.

Saya moaned and slowly opened her eyes with a gasp. She grabbed each man's hand tightly, gasping as she breathed.

Jase and Kaidan looked at each other for a second, worry in their eyes.

"Saya, you alright?" Jase asked.

Kaidan tried to get her to sit up. "We should get her back to the Normandy."

She groaned when Kaidan was trying to help her up and she gently batted their hands away.

"Let me... lie just for... a minute..." Saya said between gasps. "Need...to piece... that together..."

Jase looked at Kaidan, wondering what exactly she had seen. He let the time stretch on a bit, eying the beacon from time to time and Saya. But there was Jeff, waiting. "You two going to be okay? I still have a marriage to rescue."

Kaidan just nodded, eyes on his wife.

Irimsaya closed her eyes as Jase gently squeezed her hand before running back to Joker. She was aware of Kaidan kneeling next to her in worry.

"I'm..." She cleared her throat and slowly opened her eyes to look at him. "I'll be okay, promise."

Kaidan nodded, not really sure what to make of this now. "What.. happened? You saw the vision, the message again?"

"You... Kaidan you have to give me back to the slavers who had me...somehow we have to make them believe I was never taken away. Kaidan...I think they're going to try and bring the reapers from Jase's universe....here... but I don't know how and I don't know when."

Kaidan just stared at her. "Saya. Why would anyone want to do this?"

"I don't know... that's what I need to find out... You have to take me back to them Kaidan..."

Kaidan had problems to sort this through. 

"Saya. If what you say is true, someone knows about Jase and has the means to do this. But why? This galaxy just survived them, we couldn't afford another war against them. They're slavers, how could they? There's no benefit, their race is nearly gone. They kidnapped you and me for revenge. Now I'm supposed to give you back to them?"

"We'll give me an edge - something to keep them from controlling me. Kaidan... I don't think everything is quite as it seems."

"What.. do you mean?" Kaidan asked, searching her face.

"I wish I knew sweetie... I... I'm not sure that Jase is the only one to cross over from his universe..."

"You mean there are more? Where are they, and who?"

Irimsaya shook her head a bit.

"I don't know Kaidan, I just don't know. This is exactly why we need to re-insert me as a slave. Maybe they'll let something drop, a hint of some kind."

"I don't like this and don't want you to go back to them," Kaidan sighed, thinking. "We need to take this to Anderson. We need to inform him and officially investigate this. We already have taken the Normandy ... we need the authorization."

Saya grabbed Kaidan's arm tightly.

"We do that then we lose the advantage. They'll know I was officially rescued. Don't you see that Kaidan? Anderson will *have* to go through the council and tell them everything!"

Kaidan sighed again. "We're practically criminals in their eyes by now. Saya we need some kind of backup. The Admiral would be the right one, he backed you up before. Ugh," he hung his head, "this is a mess."

Saya leaned in and kissed him gently.

"I don't want this any more than you do Kaidan. It kills me, the thought of being separated from you yet again. But with my implants, we both know I'm the one who has to do this. Talk to Anderson over a secure line - use the N7 coding in my database. *Nobody* except you, Jase, Joker and Edi can know about this."

Kaidan rubbed his head and sighed again. "Yeah, okay. I'll do that. What about the Doctor, Saya. He knows a lot about batarian implants."

She bit her lip then sighed.

"Alright... as long as you or Jase stays with me - I don't entirely trust him after what he just helped do to you."

Kaidan nodded. "You're right. There's just this, Saya. I was forced to give out the codes and you still trust me too. And I would never stop trusting you either," Kaidan said, wisely not mentioning her trying to kill him. "He lost his family to the slavers on Mindoir. I don't believe anyone who's sane enough would willingly help the batarians after such a trauma."

"Alright.... let's get this in motion Kaidan, we have a lot of work to do."

Kaidan nodded and helped her up. "Sometimes. No, not sometimes, very often actually now. I wish we would just be normal working people worrying about how to pay the next bill instead of all of this."

Irimsaya kissed him soundly and romantically.

"Hmmm but then you wouldn't have all this excitement to get you.....mmm.....motivated...."

Kaidan wasn't in the mood at all, he was more worried about her being a slave and what if others wanted to have sex with her? From experience and remembering all the times when he was ruining her mood like this, he decided to ask her about it later.

"Motivated? I ah.. am always motivated. Most of the time," he chuckled, returning the kiss.

Saya pulled away, suspicion in her eyes.

"I know you better than that Kaidan. Talk to me."

There came the next sigh, obviously one of many. "What.. how are you going to deal with this? I mean, what if they want you to do more than just dancing, or posing. You already suffered a lot and.. I, don't like this."

Irimsaya bit her lower lip.

"I'll find a way to stop it, I promise you that. *Or*... send someone with me - someone who stole me back from Jase who tried to steal me from my master.... Someone like, I don't know, a damned good infiltrator?"

The first name that came to his mind was Kasumi, but she hadn't tried stealing her back. Only the Doctor had in a way.

"Doctor Novak?" Kaidan asked, a bit baffled about this.

"He knows the chips. Maybe he could figure out a way to turn the chip in me off if I need him to, if I need to be able to think for myself."

Kaidan nodded. "He's the best Doctor of the galaxy when it comes to control chips. But Saya, do you trust him with this? His own chip is inactive but can't be removed."

"It's a call I'm willing to make. You trust him which makes me trust him."

"I actually do, but it was frightening to see his eyes glaze over and do.. well. He's young and," Kaidan suddenly smiled a little. "Somehow he reminds me a little bit of myself. An outsider trying to find his place."

"Really? Well... at least he's not as handsome as you..."

Kaidan chuckled, "Well, that's really nice to know."

Irimsaya kissed his cheek gently.

"We should get this in motion asap sweetie... the faster we start the faster it's over and the sooner we can be with our babies again."

Kaidan sighed softly. "I miss them so much Saya. I want to hold them every night and sing to them. I keep thinking of how much they've grown when we come back home and all the time we have missed with them. Seeing them over the terminal isn't the same." Kaidan nodded. "Yes, we need to get this started."

"Yes... yes let's get this started... and I know Jase is going to yell at me when he hears the plan..."

"He's not the only one," Kaidan said, giving her his hand. "If Joker hasn't killed him first."

Irimsaya squeezed his hand gently and walked to where Jase and Joker were sharing what appeared to be an apologetic kiss.

"Guys? I'm sorry to interrupt but.. well.." She watched them part and look at her then she launched into her story and plan.

Jase looked at her blankly then at Jeff, digesting this. It took some time until he found his brain working again and could say something. "You what...? How do we go from the beacon reacting to me to Reapers coming to us? Balak, the salarian designed poison and now you want to go back?"

"Jase... I don't think you're the only one here from your universe." Saya replied.

"What...?" Jase asked, totally shaken by this news. "Who?"

"*That's* why I have to go back Jase."

"I'm going with you," he said right away. "If there's someone else, he or she could use someone who's been through the same."

"The slavers will recognize you as the one who tried to steal me from my master...."

"Yeah.. there's that. How the hell did we get sucked in this goddamn mess?!? All I, we, wanted was a normal life and enjoying the rest of our years!"

Irimsaya put a gentle hand on his arm.

"I plan on taking Arlen with me. He knows chip tech and should be able to break control when it's needed."

Jase nodded eventually. "He's a good kid Saya. Good heart and smart brain. Has anyone spoken to him since he'd been sent back to the ship?"

"I think Edi was looking after him... I... I couldn't leave Kaidan's side. Not after... well who knows what they would have done to him..."

Jase nodded, watching the pair. "You think. The bio-amp, that okay now?"

"It's getting there, thanks for asking Jase." Kaidan nodded to him but there was worry in his eyes.

"We need to put this plan into motion guys." Irimsaya broke in.

Jase nodded solemnly as he stood up, helping Jeff onto his feet. "Didn't think I'd have to fear the reapers again. Or getting to know someone else has made it here. If there is, Saya. Means it wasn't an accident."

"And that's why we have to find this person. We need to stop it before it happens..."

"Let's go. I want to be done with this for once and for all."  
  


Back on the ship Jase walked with Jeff, taking it slow with him on purpose. "This whole situation, what Saya is about to do, it scares me."

"It scares all of us Jase. But that's who you both are. Take all the chances and don't risk anyone else's life but your own." Joker replied.

"Yeah. I'm done with it though. Or thought I was." Jase stopped walking and was silent for a bit until he turned to Jeff and wrapped his arms around him once again. He was smaller a bit, yes, but the presence of him, the warmth and everything else that came with him was very comforting. "Once I'm done with everything, I'll come to you."

Joker closed his eyes and held his husband as tight as he could.

"Are you saying you're going with her?"

Jase shook his head. "No. I'll follow her orders and lead. And Kaidan's. If I'd go with her, I don't know what could become of me Jeff. I could," he sighed, "I could slip back into what you've witnessed a few nights ago."

"Ahhh yeah no thanks. No offense but that scared the crap outta me."

Jase kissed his temple and whispered, "It did, yes. I wouldn't have hurt you or anything though. Gonna get going. Balak's waiting, the kids sent me a few messages and there's Saya."

"What does Balak want? And I know you would never hurt me. Believe me I know."

That earned Jeff a smile, but it vanished then when Jase was thinking of Balak. "Politics. Have to set up a deal between the Alliance and the batarians, keeping my part of the deal. Which is now...," a wave of dizziness swept over him, bringing Jase down onto his knees. "Ugh... sorry."

Joker put a hand on Jase's shoulder.

"How about we let the doc check you over first?"

"My mind's working through the images," Jase replied quietly as he slowly got back onto his feet. "I'll do it for you. There's one good medicine though. The seat next to you in the cockpit. Always helped."

"Well I do have to head back that way but I'd really like it if you saw the doc before meeting me there."

"Alright. For you Jeff." Jase replied with a small smile.

"Good boy." Joker grinned and walked off to the cockpit.

Jase shook his head a little and went to the med-bay which he found empty. "Edi? Where's the doctor?"

"Doctor Novak is in the server room resting." Edi responded as she moved her body out of that very room and to Jase. "May I ask why you wish to disturb him?"

"You .. have gotten protective of him, haven't you?" Jase asked, finding this a bit amusing. "Had a run in with a beacon."

"He is the newest member of the Normandy's family... and he wants me to make sure he doesn't hurt anyone else under his care. I will get him for you."

"Thanks Edi," Jase nodded and sat down on one of the beds.

Edi went to the server room.

"Doctor? Commander Shepard needs your assistance, he has encountered another beacon."

"What..? Huh?" Arlen rubbed his eyes, getting up right away and slipped into his shoes. "What beacon? A homing beacon?"

"A Prothean beacon Doctor." Edi peered at him. "Are you well? You seem disoriented."

"I need to wake up. The painkiller's making me sleepy," he yawned, rubbing his eyes again and trudged towards the door. "A prothean beacon you said? It's giving.. dreams.. right Edi? I read something about it in the Captain's file."

"More than dreams, Doctor. Visions. They are actual messages to be precise." As she followed him.

"Thank you Edi." Having her following him made him feel a bit weird already but Arlen focused on the Commander, who looked a bit off himself too.

"Hello Commander, how can I help?" Arlen asked, now feeling even more weird.

"Doc," Jase just said, feeling a bit sorry now to have woken him up. The young man looked really tired. Jase then eyed Edi.

Arlen looked at the AI for a second as he figured that's where the Commander's attention was right now but turned back to him. "Commander? Edi said you've encountered another beacon."

"I did," Jase replied, still looking at her. "Edi, what exactly are you doing?"

Arlen sighed softly to himself, wondering if they were testing his patience. Instead of of waiting for a reply he just scanned him. Visions. Well, scan the head.

"I am doing as was requested of me Commander. The doctor asked me to ensure nobody else under his care comes to any harm. I made a promise to him that I would ensure the safety of everyone."

"Ah," Jase said, now looking back at their doctor. "I had a run with a beacon. Headache, dizziness. The usual."

"Uh-huh," Arlen nodded. "Your... ah.. brain's very active right now. It's trying to..."

"Sort out the imagines, yeah." Jase nodded. "Been there before Doc. Appreciate it to get something for the headache. Anyone been talking to you since Thessia?"

"Edi's been talking to me, sir." Arlen answered and studied the scans some more.

"Anyone else?" Jase asked again.

"No. Just Edi and .. now you. Sir." Arlen went and got him the asked for painkiller.

"What's your take on this Doc. How you feeling about it?"

Arlen took Jase's hand and dropped the pill onto his palm, getting him some water for it. 

"What I think about this? Someone exploited me and used my implant for their own selfish reasons. Now everyone's looking at me and afraid I'll do it again by harming someone. Or they see me as a traitor or worse, not trusting my judgement anymore!"

Arlen came back and shoved the glass of water into his other hand.

"Doc, if that were true I wouldn't be sitting here." Jase took it and washed down the pill, watching him some more. "You have strong feelings about this which is natural. My head's fine?"

Arlen nodded, "Yeah, your head's fine. Just...," he motioned with his finger to his own head, drawing circles, "busy. I strongly suggest some more rest though."

Jase got up. "Thanks Doc. And Arlen? You're a good kid, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Try to get some more rest. You look like you need it."

"I'm not a... em. Thank you sir. I think, I will. Yes, I'll just go back to the server room and nap some more."

Jase watched him return slowly to the server room and found it a bit disturbing that he had convinced him so easily. "Edi, a word. What's your feeling on all of this. You seem to spend a lot of time with him."

Edi moved closer to Jase.

"I believe he is suffering more than he lets on. He feels as though he has betrayed his crew despite my best efforts to try and inform him otherwise. I believe what would help is if he could perhaps go on a mission and prove himself to us once more."

Jase nodded, mind already wandering ahead to Jeff and his seat next to him. Silence. Comfort. Peace.

"Thanks Edi. Stay with him. I'll be in the cockpit. The Captain will call us at some point for a briefing. She'll have all the details."

"Very well Commander." Edi replied then went back to her post with Novak, wanting to keep him safe.


	10. Chapter Ten

Irimsaya sat on the bed, aware of Kaidan's eyes on her as he paced back and forth in their cabin.

"Kaidan if I could think of another way to do this don't you think I would?"

"Yes, I know you would but this doesn't mean, like you Shepards are used to say, it doesn't mean I have to like it." Kaidan sighed, rubbing the back of his head. "You're going to do it anyway no matter what I say. Which allows me to actually say it. If anyone can understand this logic."

"Well... I'm not about to hand them you Kaidan. I..." she bowed her head. "I can't get that recording they sent of you screaming out of my head."

Kaidan didn't want to tell her what he kept seeing in his mind of his wife. Or that despite having it removed sometimes it felt as if it was still there.

"I made a wrong decision and paid for it."

Saya got up and went to him, wrapping him in a tight hug.

"I love you so much Kaidan." She whispered in his ear. "So very much."

Kaidan closed his eyes and returned it, kissing her shoulder a little. "I love you too, Saya. There is.. I thought about something. I want you to know, that if you have to, to save your life, that you can come back to me. If you have to sleep with someone to make sure you're.. okay... I.. I'm okay with this. No. I'm not okay with this but if this is what it takes to get you back... then.. yeah. I.. I will understand."

"That won't happen unless Arlen can't deactivate the chip in time - you have my word on that Kaidan. You're the only man who's ever had me and the only one who ever will."

"Yes Captain, understood." Kaidan sighed and relaxed. "Wait.. I was your first? Didn't you... fool around?"

Irimsaya bit her lip shyly as she looked at him.

"Nope... you were my one and only."

Kaidan grinned a little. "Well, I feel honored now and even more special to have you as my wife. The others don't know what they were missing."

"Honestly Kaidan... there weren't any others.. I never felt whole with anyone, even just talking, except with you. And just in case something does happen - I just want you to know how special you are to me."

"Yes, like you're the love of my life. And my beautiful wife of our beautiful children. And I'm sure there are more to come."

Irimsaya turned to look at him again.

"Wait, what?"

"I would like to have more babies with you. I've been thinking of having at least three, maybe four."

Kaidan remembered all too well their arguments months ago, but since Miranda had said she would be fine he believed it would be okay. And coming home to a bunch of children keeping them busy and on their feet, if not toes, was a really welcoming thought.

"You.... you want to have more children?" There were tears in her eyes. "Really??"

Kaidan nodded once again. "I'd like to have more children with you. Yes."

Irimsaya leapt at him and kissed him passionately.

"I'm going to hold you to that promise." She whispered to him hoarsely, voice filled with passion.

Kaidan returned the kiss eagerly and nodded at her. "My love... after you've come back and fixed what you need to fix, let's try for another one, yes?"

"Definitely... oh definitely.... Now I want to get this mission over with asap."

Kaidan nodded and kissed her again while walking her to the bed carefully, in case she wouldn't feel up for it. He knew they both needed some more positive thoughts than just thinking of them and their children for the upcoming mission.  
  


Arlen had a thought and a question was on his mind, from time to time he eyed Edi, wondering if he could ask her and if she would be able to answer it.

Irimsaya walked into the medical bay and looked around.

"Doctor Novak? Are you here?"

"Doctor Novak is currently in the server room, Captain." Edi's voice came over the speakers.

"Thank you Edi." Irimsaya went to the door and slowly opened it. "Doctor? I'm sorry to bother you..."

Arlen shot off the bench, stood up and at attention. "Oh, Captain! You are not a bother, ma'am. Can I .. help you?"

"Were you sleeping? I can come back again later if you'd prefer.."

"No ma'am, I was awake and thinking and, I just wanted to say, that I'm sorry for what happened on Thessia, I never meant to hurt your husband and no one ever activated my control chip and this also means someone knows about it and was close to do this." Arlen looked at her quickly before his eyes went to another spot in the room. "I can sleep more later, ma'am."

"If you're sure.. I need to talk to you about a mission."

"I won't harm you ma'am," Arlen said, sensing she somehow was insecure around him and it made him feel even more nervous. "Please, I'm not any different than before. I'm still the same person - your Doctor. What would you need me for?"

Irimsaya hesitated.

"I'm going back to the slavers and I need your infiltration skills and you skills as a doctor to help keep me alive in there."

Arlen hesitated as well. "The slavers, you're going back to them? Those.. are vicious bastards why would you want to go back? I took the chip out, it can't affect you anymore..! Ma'am."

"It's part of a mission now Arlen. We're re-instating me with the slavers to get the answers we need... but I need you to be able to turn a chip off if needed and I need your skills as an infiltrator - can you do it?"

Arlen picked away on his lip, thinking for a while then he nodded. "Yes, I can do it."

She smiled and nodded.

"That's what I wanted to know Arlen. Know this - I will be trusting you with my life on this one. If you think you can handle this then I will trust you with everything. *Everything*. Welcome to the innermost circle." Saya took his hand and shook it gently.

"Yes Captain, thank you for trusting me. Edi and I were discussing how someone might have taken control over me. She thought maybe someone had tempered with one of your implants, sending a signal to me, causing me to go.. blank." Arlen told her, trying to word it carefully.

Irimsaya leaned against one of the beds, looking thoughtful.

"I suppose it's possible but very few people know how to even *look* at my implants let alone manipulate them..."

Arlen nodded. "Yes, I told Edi the same. It's possible but the batarians simply lack the knowledge. I rather suppose Dr. Inaria knew and used it against Commander Alenko and myself. Either way, to prevent any risks with the slavers, we could install a second device, on my armor, on my wrist, anywhere actually, to have it not being activated again. It's an old model ma'am, but if anyone of the elder slaves we might meet still wear the same, it could affect my mind."

"Then implement your suggestion Arlen. I'll need you with your wits about you."

"I will. Am I still confined to med-bay only, ma'am?" Despite having the urge to go outside of his reign, there was a lot to do and to pack as well even if he was supposed to infiltrate. And Arlen knew she'd get another chip implanted and was already thinking of creating a mild sedative to take at least the edge of the pain off she would have to go through again. Among packing some extra medi-gel, painkillers, the possibilities of receiving cuts, maybe even broken bones.

She eyed him for a minute then nodded.

"Permission granted Arlen. But be advised - if you try to hurt my husband, you'll answer to me."

"I'm a Doctor ma'am, I help people and don't harm them. It goes against anything I believe in and what I have sworn to protect." And yet he knew if it was really needed, he could kill to protect the innocent.

Irimsay nodded again.

"Get ready then doctor, there's not a lot of time until we get there."

Arlen nodded and went to work. There was a lot to do and prepare and he wanted to use the time until they'd arrive in another hell of the galaxy. The question he had been having for Edi was completely forgotten as he went through his mental list in the next hours. Another idea was forming in his mind... if they were close to other slaves, and he could sneak up to them, maybe he could help sabotaging their control chip. Maybe he could even free some.  
  


Irimsaya went to where Jase and Kaidan were quietly bickering about how to best re-insert her with the slavers.

"Fighting over me? How sweet.."

Jase looked at her. "Might as well take us longer than the day we need to reach the system. You two could go back inside through the vents. Or Doc does and you just waltz in through the big entry, saying hello."

"What would you suggest Jase?" Knowing Kaidan's view might be tainted because of his love of her.

"You still have your dress, put it on. Grab a tablet, serve drinks, flirt with a few important slavers. Do what they say and if you're good with this and lucky, you won't even get a new chip."

"Alright, we'll try it that way. No chip would be nice indeed. I uh... I might need a bit of help with that erm... 'dress' if you want to call it that... not sure there's enough material there to call it much of anything..."

"Let Doc implant you a dead one, in case they check. If they ask why you're back, just say the life you knew from before is gone and you couldn't bear it anymore to be far away from your master. As for your dress, I don't know how to help you there."

"I uh... I think I can do it." Kaidan said quietly. "The dress I mean..."

Irimsaya smiled a little at him then nodded to Jase.

"Let's just hope the fake implant will work."

Jase eyed the pair and nodded. "If they replace it, you got Doc at your side as backup."

Irimsaya hugged herself a bit and nodded then looked at Kaidan.

"I'll go to the doctor first... then meet you in our quarters." She headed back to the medical bay and was surprised at the bag Novak already had packed. "You do quick work there Doctor. I'm impressed. Speaking of impressing me... is there any way you can implant an inactive chip in me?"

Arlen looked at her long and yet he seemed to look right through her as he was thinking, deeply. Weighing options and possibilities. It was against his very principle to implant chips but this was for a mission and not an active one.

"Yes, there is. However, I have destroyed your original chip. The chips from the asari are still here in med-bay... I would have to adjust one to fake the frequency of yours, having it appear to be active. They have levels included as punishment. It goes up to five, each higher and more painful. If I use it.. like a radio or transmitter.. and it could tell you, if they want to punish, and it could tell you which level it is you would have to... scream.. or moan.. It would just act as a transmitter, letting you know what they want without influencing you.. this is.. something I should have thought of myself."

"Don't beat yourself up over it Arlen. How soon can you do it?"

"Give me two hours ma'am and I'll have everything ready for you."

"Sounds good. And Arlen? Thank you."

That earned her a shy smile. "You're welcome, ma'am. And thank you again, for trusting me."

"You are very welcome. I'll be back in two hours then." Saya headed out and went to her quarters where Kaidan was waiting and staring at the dress.  
  


Kaidan turned to look at her when he heard the door open. He shrugged a little and shook his head. "I suppose I should be grateful that it's at least covering the most important parts...."

Saya saw the utter jealousy in his eyes and went to him, hugging him gently.

"I know you don't like this sweetie, I get that. But I would rather you dress me in that than anyone else."

Kaidan sighed while having her in his arms too. "I would rather like to undress you from it instead of dressing you into it and think it's a 'normal'.... romantic kind of evening for us."

"We have two hours until Arlen wants me back..."

"I hope he knows what he's doing," Kaidan whispered, leaning in to kiss her. And actually he knew he could trust him, just.. it was his wife and his world and family now.  
  


It was more than an hour later and Arlen was done and also had prepared something else in case his Captain would be forced into some kind of sexual encounter and unwanted pregnancy. Including some shots for various illnesses. Which also brought back the question he had been thinking about earlier.

"Edi, can I ask you something? It's rather delicate."

"Of course Doctor I will do my best to answer any inquiries you may have."

"Thank you." There was a hum coming for him as he thought about his question. And asking her while she wasn't there was a lot easier than having to look her in the eyes.

"Edi... I ah.. I've been wondering. You seem to have some experience in this. What does having sex feel like? I know the birds and the bees talk, I know the medical side of it. But, what does it feel like?"

"That is not a question I can easily answer for you Doctor as my body is a synthetic being. It is something that must be experienced."

"Oh," Arlen ruffled through his hair, thinking. "I suppose you're right. It actually applies to many things, like, what it is like to do a surgery on someone's head or to lose control over yourself when the control chip is being used. Thank you Edi. I was just curious. Are you and Specialist Traynor just friends now?"

"At the moment I believe that is the best way to describe our relationship, yes."

"I'm sorry Edi. She seems like a nice person."

"She is an exceptional human. At times I find myself missing her contact." Edi paused as something in the medbay beeped. "I believe your fake chip is ready now doctor."

Arlen nodded, knowing she couldn't see it but probably sensed it.

"I..I think that's human Edi, missing the contact of someone else. I can't say I do, having not experienced it yet, but I know I miss my dad's presence," Arlen said as he went to get the chip and tested it, squinting his eyes at it.

"But he was just my father, uh, not really but that doesn't matter. I know people who are heart broken after a relationship and I'm surprised you're missing her in that manner and I think it shows just how much more you are. More than only an AI. You're a very complex being Edi."

"I thank you for your compliment Doctor. Would you like me to alert the Captain that you are now ready for her?"

"Please Edi," he took a deep breath. "I don't even want to go there, Edi. Seeing all those slavers and people suffering under their regime, the danger, the oppression, the forced submissions, the drugs and sex and forced sex and abuse. I'm afraid of all of it. But my Captain needs me, you know Edi? And when people need me I don't let them down, I help and fix their problems, if big or small."

"You are very rare and a special person Doctor. I am pleased to have you on board."  
  


Saya groaned in Kaidan's arms as he kissed the areas the dress wasn't covering.

"Kaidan... keep that up and this mission is over before it begins..." She laughed then went sombre as Edi informed them that Novak was ready. "I guess that means we're not too far out then.."

Kaidan nodded, but kept grinning a little bit as he continued his teasing, giving them both some good memories about this dress. Inwardly he sighed, not wanting to have her leave. "I can go with you to med-bay, if you want. I have to pick up my replacement amp as well."

Irimsaya nodded and gently took his hand, squeezing it a bit.

"I'd really like you there. I know it's not an active chip but I'm sure I'll still have one hell of a headache."

Kaidan nodded and took her hand after she had gotten dressed, hiding the other dress and work clothes for later. "Together, Saya." Just thinking of the headache Saya would have later made his head hurt.

Once they arrived at the medbay, Saya looked around nervously.

"Okay Doc... How do we do this?"

"With a sedative, of course. Please lay down. The chip doesn't have any mechanism to control. It's... "empty" inside only allowing to give you hints by sending out impulses, indicating the pain level. However, it does connect to your spinal cord to give the correct appearance. I based it upon your former control chip."

Arlen eyed Kaidan, thinking about the shots and other precautions he wanted to suggest to his captain.

"Do what you need to do Doctor." Saya felt Kaidan squeeze her hand again.

"Understood, ma'am." Arlen began with his work, explaining every step he did, not leaving them in the dark. It was taking some time as he was now working even more careful to prevent any further scarring.

Once the implant was placed he also did her shots and suggested the birth control issue for her own protection.

Irimsaya bit her lip and glanced at Kaidan, her head already beginning to ache from the procedure.

"Doc... Arlen, will that affect my future ability to conceive?"

"No, ma'am. It's nothing invasive and as simple as regulating your hormonal levels based on taking a medicament. It will last for about eight weeks." Arlen watched them, seeing the conflict on her husband's face. The doctor could just guess what he was thinking.

Kaidan just nodded at Saya to let him do it. The situation was so serious, it scared him.

"I believe it is long enough? Or do you want me to pack an extra dose, Captain?"

"I can't see us staying any longer than that but pack extra as a precaution." She felt more than saw Kaidan flinch at the thought of her being gone so long.

"Yes ma'am, I'll also double-check everything I have packed."

Arlen hadn't expected to be gone for so long, he'd been hoping they would be back in a few weeks, maybe just gone for two weeks. He might as well go and pack his flute too. And until then, there was more to do to hand over the med-bay to some unfortunate soul which would have to treat any cuts and bruises now, if lucky.

"When are we due to leave?"

"Um... I think we should be there in less than an hour." Saya replied rubbing her temple lightly.

Arlen handed her a painkiller and then took off, excusing himself several times, still having a lot to do.

Kaidan was watching his Saya. "I guess I should feel grateful for the asari to finally have their Mass Relay back online, but now I really don't."

"Kaidan... I know. You have no idea how much my stomach is churning at this idea but you and I both know I'm the only one here who can do it."

"Yes and I know I won't be there to watch your back. I'll just be here and wait and hope," he sighed, "that you're alright and everything goes fine and the way you have planned it."

"You know... You and Kasumi could infiltrate that little bar of theirs again. At least then you would sort of be close..."

"Mmh," Kaidan nodded, considering this. "And then your brother won't be too far away either. And as long as Doctor Novak keeps sending us his daily reports we'll know where you are and how you are doing."

"Would that make you feel better about this?"

Kaidan nodded at this. "Quite a lot actually. But I doubt I can spend all those weeks close to you like this. People come and go, someone staying there all the time would cause them to become suspicious."

"Then take turns. You for a couple of days, Kasumi for some, Jase... I don't suppose we know where Zaeed or Garrus are do we?" She saw his eyes light up a bit as he caught on to where her train of thought was heading.

"Garrus as primarch?" Kaidan chuckled softly. "If he's showing up there I'm sure it will draw attention. Didn't he used to be Archangel? But I like your suggestion, I really like it." Even if it meant seeing is wife like this, it would be hard indeed, just what choice did he have in this? None.

"That's what I was thinking actually - him using the Archangel alias would actually earn him some respect down there. *And* might buy him some time with me so I can get sitreps out."

Kaidan was thinking long and hard, not being sure how that would work out in favour for Garrus.

"Okay, whatever you say Saya. If you think that's good and we need to take this route, I'm all for it."

Irimsaya sat up on the bed and looked at him.

"I was trying to do this for *you* but if you don't want that then fine." She got off the bed and headed for the door.

"Saya!" Kaidan called after her. "Saya, wait right there." Kaidan growled this time. "This.. this whole mission is hard on me and I don't know where my head is! Everything's a mess in my mind right now and I'm trying to put some sense into it. And knowing my wife is leaving in not even an hour and going away in a dress that's less than a bikini. I just...!" Kaidan threw his hands into the air and shook his head.

"Do you think I like this Kaidan?? Do you really think I like the idea of being away from you? Being surrounded by enemies and NOT being able to take them out? Being unarmed?? Do you really think this is easy for *me*?!" Saya was almost yelling. "All I wanted was to try and ease your mind and heart as much as I could and you can't even accept that!"

Kaidan took a step back, mentally, letting this sink in. The last on his mind was letting her go with an argument.

"Why do you even think I wouldn't understand how this can't be easy on you? I wouldn't voice this if I wasn't worried about you. And I'm still worried. It doesn't matter how many people are there and around you, if you had hundred Alliance officers stationed there I would still worry about you."

Irimsaya watched him then nodded a little, a slow smile starting to form on her lips.

"Forget Garrus.... I have a better idea. Kaidan - contact Jack. And I'm sorry for what I said I just... leaving you like this... I'm scared shitless okay?"

Kaidan laughed then after nodding. "Jack. She'll wrap them around her finger and no one will touch nor mess with that crazy biotic. Last I heard of her was back on earth, she wanted to try and rebuild a Grissom Academy somewhere, giving her students a place to hang out."

"Exactly and nobody will question her purchasing my services for a night every so often. See if you can get a hold of her and get her out here. I'm sure Jase will agree with this too."

Kaidan nodded. "I think he will, but I have the feeling he doesn't want to lead anything anytime soon. I heard he got really wasted the evening after we brought you home. It wasn't to celebrate anything, maybe it was because of that kiss... uh.. I don't know. I'm sure he will, agree I mean. And I will find Jack. It's good to have another biotic around."

Irimsaya leaned in and kissed him gently.

"We should be almost there." She whispered, "I love you so much Kaidan. No matter what happens please don't even forget that."

Kaidan returned the kiss and whispered, "I love you too. Please make sure it won't take us another two years to get back together." He smiled then a little bit. "I think our chances are a lot better this time though."

"If Jack comes our chances will skyrocket. Take care of yourself Kaidan." She gave him one last kiss as she felt the Normandy slowing. "Walk me to the shuttle?"

Kaidan nodded and took her hand.

When Arlen saw the pair walking out he went back into his old refuge called med-bay and collected his bag. Hopefully he had everything he needed with him. With a sigh he remembered his flute and took it with him.

"Edi? Where are you right now?" The possibility of being away more than eight weeks from his new home was scary in its own, especially since the place he went to wasn't something to look forward at all.

"I am right behind you Doctor." As the door to the medical bay could be heard opening and closing.

Arlen quickly turned around, once again surprised by her quickness of appearing out of the blue as if she knew he was going to ask for her.

"The Captain said it might take more than eight weeks and.. you and I.. we have become friends," he laughed a little, feeling nervous now. "I like to think of us as friends, if that is alright with you? Anyway, I was going to say, wanted to say, I'll miss you and our chats. And I just.. wanted to do..," he went to her quickly and hugged her. "I just wanted to do this."

Edi's arms wrapped around him gently, knowing she had to be careful with organics after accidentally harming Traynor.

"You are a friend Doctor and I will miss your presence. I wish to ask that you please return... I believe they say 'in one piece'."

Arlen chuckled softly and nodded. "I will do my best Edi. Everything else would be.. painful." He looked then at her.

"Edi, call me Arlen please." With a sigh, Arlen gave their hug another gentle squeeze and then he let go. "It's time, I need to go. We will see us.. later." 

Not tomorrow, not in a week or two, not in a month or more, just later. It didn't sound so bad when he said this. Later.

His mind was already taking checks again and silently he hoped, 'God dad.. I hope I've thought of everything. Just help us through this time.'


	11. Chapter Eleven

Irimsaya was waiting for him on the shuttle, sitting in the pilot's seat as they couldn't risk anyone else if the slavers were to believe she escaped the Normandy.

Arlen nodded at the Commander outside, the other Commander Shepard and his husband and walked into the shuttle. He dropped his bag onto the floor and secured it for their flight before he went to join Captain Shepard in the cockpit. Arlen had to look twice when he saw her wearing her dress.

"Captain," he greeted, taking the other pilot's seat and sat down.

"I can't tell you how glad I am to have a man with your skills on board the Normandy, Doc." She forced herself to smile. "If you weren't here this mission would be one hell of a lot harder."

Arlen didn't know what to say and he saw it in her eyes that she wasn't really smiling but he nodded, smiling back a little. "Thank you, Captain. I won't let you down and give my best, ma'am."

The rest of their flight was being spent in silence and Arlen didn't mind. He knew it must be hard on his Captain. As for himself, Arlen began playing his flute mentally to calm himself.  
  


Her breathing was shaky as she landed the shuttle on the platform.

"I have never felt so... naked before. No weapons, nothing to defend myself with..."

"I'm at your side Captain. If anyone threatens you.. I could. Make them stop." Arlen inhaled deeply himself. "Captain, where do you want me to stay?"

"I'm going to trust your judgment Arlen. Do what you have to do. But right now you might want to hide." As she noted the group of armed aliens heading for the shuttle. "And quickly."

"Understood," Arlen said and vanished. As he was watching them, he had to try to keep his breathing under control and even held his breath for the time they checked her implant. He nearly bit his tongue when he saw one of them touching his Captain on her behind for a second. When the aliens laughed and led her away. Arlen followed them.

Irimsaya looked around with her eyes as she was marched into the bar once more. She tried not to flinch when she felt someone touching her bare skin. The group marched her back to her former Batarian master and the Turian with her spoke to him.

"We just found your property. She landed in a shuttle - a shuttle from the Normandy."

"Check the shuttle! It's ours now!" The master barked at his people and then he walked to his slave, wearing something like a sly smile. "You have come back to me slave? Answer me why!"

Irimsaya couldn't help the small shiver that ran through her body.

"There was nothing for me. I had a better life here."

The Captain laughed at this. "You owe me 200.000 credits slave. And I intent on getting them back," he growled at her. "Start working! You know where your place is!" He looked at one of his patrons and yelled at him. "YOU! Get her some customers!"

Arlen was hiding away in a dark corner and pushed the bag further into it, waiting for the right time to get into one of the ducts to store it away for now.

Irimsaya turned and licked her lips a bit. She actually didn't know where she was supposed to go but she tried to fake it as best she could.

Arlen was watching and he quietly prayed that no one was listening as he hit his comm to give her some help. "Captain...," he whispered, "the entertainment area. Dance at one of the poles."

Her eyes widened in shock. Slowly she moved to one of the poles and stared at it, trying to remember what to do, especially since she couldn't dance.

The Captain watched her and laughed. "Has your husband made you forget how to dance? Brags about it when he spews out all his secrets and now you can't dance? Move your ass, slave!"

Irimsaya closed her eyes then slowly stepped up to the pole and did her best with it, almost wishing that the chip was a working one.

The Captain watched and grumbled something, half satisfied. "Maybe I have to give you a private lesson later." But for now, he had other business to attend.

Arlen just breathed in relief when the boss seemed to go back to his usual business. But this would be terrible long weeks as he eyed all those slaves and dancers. 'All of them are lost souls, and no one is here to help them.'

Saya whispered very quietly.

"Arlen I don't know how long I can dance..."

Arlen thought quickly. "The entertainment unit. When it's free, take it over? You were there when the Commanders freed you."

"Got it."

Saya watched and waited. Thankfully it didn't take long before the unit became free and she slid into it, breathing a bit harder than normal because of the exertion of dancing.

Arlen was staying in the shades, watching and observing. There were a lot of people coming and going and only a few lingered around longer, trading. And some of them even booked rooms. Now he had to find a place where he could stay hidden and no one would find him.

Much to the slaver Captain's pleasure, the room around the entertainment unit filled up nicely and the credits filled his pockets easily with his favourite slave. The Captain sat downinto his chair and watched the display where Saya was lying.

"A round for free!" he yelled out, animating the people in the surrounded area to join into the fun.

Saya almost yelped as liquid was poured onto her bare naval area. It was cold and made her shiver a little bit. She swallowed hard but forced herself to remain still as the patrons dipped empty glasses into the alcohol.

The hours passed by and eventually it was in the middle of the night or even later as most of the people had finally left and the Captain, drunk as a skunk, stood up and swayed on his feet. 

"Shepard...you bitch," he slurred, "get off that thing and go to our room. Wait there for me."

Arlen's head snapped up as he heard this, having dozed lightly. He quickly remembered the layout and gave Saya whispered instructions on the where. She didn't need to ask him to be there, Arlen was already on the way with a mild sedative in his pocket. No one would touch his Captain.

"Arlen listen to me." Once she was sure the door was shut. "He might have the information we need. Don't do anything unless you hear me whisper Kaidan's name. That will be our safe word. Got it?"

"Yes ma'am," came a whisper from the right. But Arlen hoped she knew what she was doing, wouldn't the Captain grow suspicious? He should have packed a drug for loosing his tongue, too.

Saya sat down on the bed and waited for her 'master' to arrive.

Arlen kept an eye on her and waited. Time stretched on. He felt tired and and wanted to yawn but kept his mouth shut, the batarian had to show up after all.

It took even longer after this as the door finally opened and he dragged in a second slave, hurling her onto the bed before he followed and jumped onto her, ripping off her sparce clothing. His precious top slave was being ignored completely.

Arlen couldn't just stand by and let it happen, could he? He had the sedative, he could go and stop him from doing this.

Irimsaya clenched her teeth, unable to sit idly by and watch this happen to the poor woman. She leaped at the Batarian, knocking him off her and onto the floor.

The Captain was surprised at this and got off, staggering around a bit. "Jealous of another slave, slave? Sit down! You'll be next!"

"Screw that." Irimsaya growled out. "You're not touching that woman."

"You're talking back to your master?!" The batarian reached out and slapped her.

Arlen wasn't sure now, if that kept going on his Captain wouldn't get to know what she needed to know and everything that came with it. The batarian was clearly drunk and if he acted now, she could talk it up to him having had a weird dream.

Irimsaya gasped in surprise and staggered back, watching him.

"Who is it that's pulling your strings anyway."

The batarian didn't answer, instead he fumbled around to find the correct button for the punishment. Something was wrong with his top slave.

Irimsaya moved and grabbed it from him.

"Come on, just talk to me. There's no need for that. Tell me who's pulling your strings. Who wants me to kill you?"

Arlen just kept watching, frowning now, but not minding it if his Captain would kill the slaver.

"I'm your master, slave! You do not dare to kill me! Your husband and friends couldn't help you!" He started laughing.

Pausing, trying to make the act look good, Saya sighed and slowly handed him back the controller.

"You're right." She said softly. "But I don't want you touching anyone else... I just... I want to be the only one..."

With a snarl he snatched the control and hit the lowest button for punishment, while eying her body up and down. He had to admit, she was a lot more attractive than any of his other slaves. With a harsh nod he ordered the other woman out of the room and sat down and looked at his favourite pet.

"Join me slave."

Irimsaya flinched appropriately when he hit the button then sat down on the bed as he commanded her to. She was beginning to feel nervous but took solace knowing Arlen was nearby.

The batarian pushed her down and shoved aside the tiny parts of her bra, touching her breasts and licking them for a while before he moved on to do the same to her belly.

Arlen was watching and at least grateful that the alien didn't use his ugly long teeth to hurt her. At this moment he decided he had to do more than just watching his Captain and keeping around. No. He'd have to find out and work together with his Captain. Who was behind this batarian? Apparently this was important and why they were here.

Irimsaya closed her eyes, revolted at the Batarian touching her. Her breathing hitched a bit when he started stroking her legs and removing the rest of what little clothing she was wearing.

There was a soft chuckle from the alien as he thought his slave enjoyed what he did.

Arlen stood there, not knowing where to look as he didn't want to see his Captain like this. He had to keep himself from walking around and whacking the alien over thehead. He had to trust her on when to say the word.

Saya yelped when she felt teeth on her stomach and knew it was time, only she had to make him think she enjoyed it.

"Oh gods... Kaidan...."

Arlen moved in from behind, hearing the batarian chuckling deeply at his slave. The sedative was injected and he watched as the big burly male slowly fell asleep.

Saya hissed a bit as she sat up, feeling a bit of blood trickling down from where he had started to bite her.

"Thanks Arlen..."

Arlen didn't say a word, carefully moving the alien away from her and went to treat her wound right away, not wanting to risk an infection. It would heal now, time given.

"You can rest for a few hours," Arlen whispered quietly, quickly activating his cloak again. "He won't wake up for a while and will just be asleep." At this moment none of them had any idea that they would repeat this game for more than two weeks.

Nodding a little, Saya slipped under the covers of the bed and tried to close her eyes. But sleep was good at eluding her when she was in a hostile environment and before she knew it, morning arrived.


	12. Chapter Twelve

Two days later and Arlen had completely memorized the full layout of New Omega, including the schedules from the workers and slaves. He even had hacked into the system, drawing out any further information of weapon deliveries, people who arrived and left, drugs, alcohol, in short, every bit of dirty work was now stored on his omni-tool. And every night he kept close to his Captain, saving her from the humiliation of forced sex by sedating the Captain.

On the third night he had come up with the idea to put something into it, causing the alien's sex drive to lessen.

On the third day of her charade, Saya was becoming worried. It felt like her 'master' was becoming suspicious of her but she didn't know why. She had been doing everything he asked but there was something in his voice that didn't seem quite... normal. He hadn't yet let anyone else buy her for a night or rent any of her 'services' which in itself was a bit unsettling. Stealing a glance around the bar she thought she saw a face she recognized but the glance was too fast. She had no way of double-checking without raising more suspicions from the Batarian. What she didn't realize was that she had stopped dancing for her 'master' as her mind tried to figure out who it was she thought she had seen.

"Dance!" Came the gruff voice and he pushed the button to punish her on the mildest level. The batarian then tried to get comfortable again in his seat, intending on enjoying the show.

Saya did her pretend flinch and slowly moved around the pole, but her eyes were now roaming the crowd near the bar and not paying attention to the Batarian with her.

"I don't think her mind's on dancing." A male voice said from near the Batarian. "Shame too, she's quite a find."

"Mmh," came a growl from the Captain, "she is. What do you want?" he asked, being rather annoyed by the person interrupting his time to relax.

"Do you rent her out? I wouldn't mind some time with a slave who's body looks as trim as her's."

The Captain watched his slave dance, rather wanting to have her for himself all the time. He growled a little and considered it. The last time he had rented her out she had been taken away from him. "Let's talk about the price. She stays close to me. All the time."

The stranger laughed.

"Really? Is that why she fakes it when you punish her?"

The Captain now turned to look at the stranger and glared at him. "If you are here to insult me I suggest you leave quickly!"

"Did you examine her when she returned to you?"

"The chip is functional! My people checked it," he growled out and returned to watch his slave dancing.

"If you say so. But if I were you I would get a second opinion on that."

Irimsaya felt herself beginning to sweat.

"Who are you? Coming here and risking your life by insulting my intelligence."

"Someone who pays your bills. Get a second opinion."

The Captain eventually agreed, murmuring a gruff yes. By now he was sure the man wasn't interested in renting any slave. "Now get out of my sight!"

Saya winced a bit as she heard the stranger leave and she licked her lips nervously as she tried to keep dancing.

The wheels were turning in the slaver's head and after some time he knew he had to check it out. He stood up and grabbed Saya's wrist, dragging her away from the pole.

Arlen was watching from afar and was seriously worried now. If they found out the signals it was sending were fake....

"But master..." Saya protested as he walked her to a back room. "There is nothing wrong with me."

"Sit," he commanded, pushing her down into a chair. "You! Check her implant. Someone has whispered me it might be fake."

She winced as she was pushed into the chair and held there by the Batarian while a Turian examined her.

"There is something... unusual with the signals..."

"Explain," he commanded, pacing the room. From time to time he glared at her, squinting his four eyes, wondering if the man had been right.

"It is as if the pain signal is not actually doing anything." The Turian replied. "It seems as if she has been fooling you. Fooling all of us."

One look at the Turian and the Captain pushed the button for the highest pain level, wanting to test it himself now.

"There is no signal." The Turian replied even though Saya was trying to act as if it was working.  
  
"HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE!" he yelled, causing everyone's ears to ring in the room.

Arlen flinched, hiding himself even more in his hideout.

Irimsaya swore as she stood up, watching them both warily.

"I would suggest that you restrain her..." The Turian suggested.

"DO IT!" The Captain hollered, pointing fingers at his men. "You bitch will ANSWER to me!"

Eyes widening, Saya crouched into a fighting stance and got ready for anything as several guards rush in.

"I hope you don't think I'm going to make this easy on you..."   
  


Kaidan answered the comm when it went off, seeing it was Arlen's transmitter.

"Arlen? Is everything okay?"

"No, nothing is okay," he whispered, talking fast. "They know she got a fake chip in her head. Instructions??"

Kaidan's eyes widened in horror.

"Stand by! I'm getting Jase in on this!"

He ran to the quarters the other man shared with Joker and banged hard on door.

"JASE!! We have a problem!!!"

Jase came to the door, it opened and Kaidan nearly fell inside and into his arms as the man really was agitated.

"Kaidan?? What's going on?"

Kaidan grabbed at Jase's arms.

"Arlen's on the line. They're onto her!" His voice was filled with fear.

"Dammit! Already?? Get Jack down there. Tell the Doc to stay put. Unless he can sabotage a system." Jase felt off, at the moment he found it hard to concentrate and to think of something they could do. When the hell had his head decided to become such a mess? Saya needed him, now was not the time for such crap.

Kaidan had deep fear in his eyes.

"Jase... Jack won't get there in time. Arlen... he can't handle it alone. None of us can get there in time!!!" He was starting to panic.

Jase's brain was empty, he looked around, trying to think of something. For a moment he hoped Jeff would have an idea. A distraction. 'Bomb the place?' Stupid thought. 'Call them?' Yeah right..."Edi, can you impersonate someone? Like Balak? Or Aria T'Loak?"

"I may lack the correct inflections needed for perfect impersonation but I can certainly make the attempt." Edi replied.

"Do it Edi, it's all we can do." Jase looked at Kaidan. "Or you have to order Dr. Novak to try to rescue her." And the man alone couldn't do it and would quite possibly end up dead.

"I will attempt to do so Shepard. Is there something specific you wish me to say or ask?" Edi asked of him.

"I don't care what Edi and if you have to hack their system or sound an alarm. Just something!"

"Very well Shepard." Edi quickly got to work.

* * *

Irimsaya struggled hard as two Krogan held her tightly and shackled her hands behind her.

"All you have to do is answer my questions and I'll leave in peace," she said, her eyes on the Batarian.

"Leave?" He laughed. "After this and replacing your chip with a real one, I'll pimp you out to every possible customer! Answering your question would not help you in any way."

"Who was the man in the shadows?? WHO?" Saya screamed as she was dragged over to the implant chair despite her struggles.

Arlen couldn't just stand by and watch this. He needed to do something. Just what could he do without giving himself away? Dropping things into the room would do so, shooting at one of them would have the same result. Sneaking into the room and taking one out would do the very same and they would search the whole station for him, leaving his Captain still implanted and him on the hunt without the free reign and option to do more for her, even with carrying a control chip.

The central control room was too far away, but he could try to reach it in time. If he was fast. Cause some havok, make it look like a system failure. If only he had hacked deeper into the system, he could do this right away. But no, schedules had been more important at this time. Arlen grit his teeth, he should have thought more ahead, considering more eventualities.

Agile as a weasel Arlen hurried along the ducts, making no noises. Barely a few meters away from his Captain, he heard the alien's answer. 'Udina?' he thought, 'that name sounds familiar. Oh! The Coup and attack on the Citadel! So many dead people that day. And many more hurt, but he died. Someone shot him! I have to tell Commander Alenko. Maybe this Udina is a brother or another relative.'  
  


Irimsaya looked around in surprise when an alarm began blaring to indicate a fire. She breathed a small sigh of relief when she was dragged back to her feet and away from the dreaded chair.  
  


Arlen smiled to himself, pleased that he got the alarm going but he knew it wouldn't last for too long. Something needed to be done to help his Captain. Just what? He couldn't go close and fake another chip. If this Udina hadn't told the slaver they wouldn't really have discovered it either. Damn this man! How had he known? It was almost as if he was a spy and had spied on them.

"Normandy? I have sounded an alarm," Arlen whispered into his comm and kept quiet after this, hurrying along the ducts back to watch over the Captain.  
  


Kaidan breathed a small sigh of relief when he heard Arlen's voice.

"I should be down there with her... this is tearing me apart Jase." He looked at his friend.

Jase went to him and squeezed his shoulder. "We need to get Jack down there and Kasumi. Doc needs some backup. And we need it too."

Just then his terminal beeped and Jase went to it. "Message from Doc," he said, opening it and read it aloud for them to hear. "'Captain revealed name of man in the shadows: Udina.' Udina?" Jase said, looking at Kaidan with a frown.

"That's.... not possible. Udina's dead. We both saw him die..." Kaidan was confused.

"Yeah," he nodded. "He's as dead as someone can be. Unless it's a relative or someone who shares the name." Jase shook his head, frown deepening. "Edi, any luck with hacking into their surveillance system?"

"Affirmative, Shepard. What would you like to see first?" Edi responded. "I have access to all of their cameras now."

"Show us Saya, Edi." Jase nodded and leaned back to watch the feed on the giant monitor in his quarter. He was quietly picking away at his lower lip as he stood against the desk.

Kaidan watched as the camera requested came onto the screen. It was all he could do not to destroy it when he saw that his wife was at the mercy of two Krogan and the Batarian.

"Jase..." Kaidan growled out.

Jase nodded, patting his arm in understanding. "Edi, is there someone you can make out who fits the description of a man in the shadows?"

"I am scanning all feeds now. Do you wish me to show all camera feeds to you or would you prefer to keep an eye on the Captain?" Edi asked.

Kaidan breathed a bit harder in anger and began to glow blue when he saw the Batarian hit Saya several times.

Jase winced when he saw it. "Place Saya's feed into the upper left corner. Keep it at 25% and add the other feeds to the rest of the monitor." Jase looked at Kaidan. "Go and get Jack and Kasumi ready to stay around that base."

"He's beating her!" Kaidan yelled at Jase. "She's restrained and he's *beating her*!" The blue glow was getting brighter with Kaidan's growing anger.

"I know! Get them ready, she needs help!" Jase growled at the display and looked at him again. "Balak doesn't care about the bastard." Which meant if Jase had the chance, he'd kill him.

Kaidan nodded and reluctantly tore his eyes from the screen. He ran from the room to find the two women who might be able to help Saya.

Jase heavily sat down in his chair watching the feeds. "Jeff? We're sending down Jack and Kasumi. I just.. wanted to let you know." The more Jase witnessed his sister, his other self, suffering, the more he knew he couldn't just sit here and watch. He shook his head and stood up, pushing the chair hard away, causing it to crash into the bathroom door.

"Edi, find me the man in the shadows. I'm going with Jack and Kasumi." Jase barked at their AI when he saw how they handled Saya once again.

"Kaidan, Jeff? I'm going with them. Ship's yours."

Kaidan looked surprised as he rushed with Jack and Kasumi to the other shuttle.

"Jase is that wise? They'll recognize you! And if they do they might kill her!"

"I kinda have to agree with the Commander on that Jase... I don't like that idea at all." Joker said over the comms from the cockpit.

"I'm going down! End of discussion!" Jase replied angrily.

"With all due respect, _Commander_. They know who you are. I don't want to lose my wife again. I don't want them to hurt her more, either!" Kaidan inhaled deeply, trying to calm down his nerves. His eyes were silently pleading with Jase not to go.

Jase sighed and stopped at the shuttle, resting his head against the door for a second, reconsidering. "You're both right. I just don't like … doing nothing. I'm sorry."

"Join the club." Kaidan grumbled as Jack and Kasumi boarded the shuttle.

* * *

Irimsaya spat out the blood in her mouth after she was struck again.

"I don't know why your alarms sounded - why should I know??"

Arlen watched from behind the grit of the duct he was sitting in, trying to see where the Krogan and the Turian had gone to. And the man in the shadow. If the Captain was alone with the Batarian, he could help. Just in case he got a dose of the sedative ready.

It happened so fast. Her cry of pain echoed through the room as the Batarian dislocated her jaw with his last punch. She had no way to say her safe word now... no way to call for help. She had sensed the two Krogan move to the door to guard it awhile ago and now she was willing to chance it. Saya kicked out hard with her right leg, hitting the Batarian as hard as she could in the stomach.

The Turian moved in fast and grabbed her from behind around her waist..

"We can take her to my room if you want. It's far from the alarms and would give us the silence we need for the implantation."

Arlen's mind spun as he heard the gruff yes coming from the slaver. He quickly moved to get to the correct duct to stay close to the Captain. Arlen had seen it, saw what her face looked like. Knew she wasn't able to talk and was aware of the pain she was in now. He knew he wasn't to interfere but sounding the alarm a second time would be too suspicious. There was only one option to really help. Taking them out one by one. And if he did this, he knew his cover would be blown as well. The alternate option was allowing them to implant her.

Saya tried to kick again but found her legs being picked up by the Batarian so both aliens were carrying her and it was impossible for her to fight. She bucked and struggled as they took her into the Turian's room and lied her on her stomach at the bed.

"Hold her there. This won't take long," the Turian said.

"Give her the strongest we have!" the Batarian ordered while pressing her head down.

Arlen sat and watched, sedative ready in his hands. Yet taking on two big Krogan, the Turian and the Batarian was nearly impossible. And sedating a Krogan, let alone two, even with the help of his Captain...

Saya kept up her struggles as she felt something go over her legs, securing them to the bed and then felt the Batarian sit on her back, locking her already bound arms in place. The last words she heard were him saying 'scream for me'... which she did as soon as the Turian began the procedure without using any kind of numbing agent.  
  


The only thing Arlen could do was sending a message to the Normandy, typing hastily away on his omni-tool with shaky hands. He felt cold and his body shook. The sound from Saya mixed with the memories of his own past made him fel like being eight years old all over again.

In the night the Doctor sat in the duct, the screams of his Captain still echoing in his mind and he knew he couldn't play his flute. He just sat in his dark corner, staring at his Sarah in his hands, touching the holes of the instrument. That's when he realized he'd bitten off his fingernails and he winced at it, having to tape them. The growling of his stomach told him he'd have to steal some food too, or the sound would give him away. And living off energy bars wasn't doing his belly any good either.

What disturbed him even more where the other slaves, the women he had encountered and how they were used by their masters. Sold and beaten and used. One night he had taken a wrong turn and ended up in a room where one of the slaves was lying, scratches all over her body, eyes vacant as if not really there. Arlen couldn't go past this, despite the risk it posed. Instead he didn't leave her side and treated her wounds as best as he could without it being too obvious. Now he wished he could do the same for the Captain, but if she knew, or just smelled his presence, she would tell the Batarian he was here. His hands were bound. He had failed his Captain.  
  


Kaidan sat on the bed he shared with Saya, the memory of seeing her being beaten on the camera was almost too much for him to bear. It reminded him of the time on Mars... when he had nearly lost her again. He put his face in his hands then shot up and shot a warp charge at his alarm clock in frustration, utterly destroying it.  
  


"Jeff...," Jase started, not wanting his husband to feel like he.. whatever. "I should go and check on Kaidan. Come with me?"

"Ahhhh why don't you go alone? I think he might need to spill his guts and you know I'm not into the whole blood and gore thing." Joker said trying to smile a bit.

Jase nodded and went to him, giving him a lingering kiss, just needing the contact. "Okay. I'll be back in a bit."

Joker kissed him back gently then smiled a little.

"I'll be here. Flying the ship..."

"Yeah," he replied softly. There were more words on his mind, but returning the small smile seemed more appropriate and then he reached out, caressing Jeff's head a little. Jase left and went to Kaidan.

"Kaidan?" Jase asked, knocking on his door.

"It's open." Kaidan growled out as he tried desperately to calm down.

Jase went inside and promptly stepped into the broken clock as he went downstairs. He grimaced a little and shoved it aside. The place on the couch was free and Jase decided to sit down there instead.

Kaidan watched him warily.

"Edi told me, did she tell you? They've implanted her. AGAIN!" Kaidan felt himself losing it again. "She said she picked up Saya's screams. Her *screams*. They didn't even have the decency to give her a painkiller!!"

"She told me. Kaidan, I'm sorry." Maybe it had all started with him ending up in this world? Who knew. But who knew what this world would look like then. It was a warped thought, crazy even. Jase was watching Kaidan, not knowing what else to say. They would free her, again. At least the Doctor was still there and now Kasumi and Jack, too. They would get her back, just in what kind of shape?

"What will they do to her now Jase? Now that they know we put her there to spy..."

"I.. don't know Kaidan. Doc's still down there, we got Jack and Kasumi involved. Doc needs to find a way to deactivate her chip and.. we need to take them out. No other option."

Kaidan closed his eyes for a minute then nodded his agreement.

"Unless... you have another thought on this." Jase was watching him. If there was, he needed to hear it.

"Send me down. I'll destroy all of them myself." He growled out.

"Sure, and what then Kaidan?"

"I.... I don't know.. I just... when I saw him beating her... I can't get it out of my head!!"

"Nor can I, Kaidan. Believe me, any man beating a woman... anyone beating someone weaker...," Jase shook his head. There had been a time when he had done the same, beating the weaker, hunting them down. "I understand your feelings. No buts. I want to take down that hell hole. And when we do this, I need you at your best."

"Oh don't worry. You'll have me at my best. The new amp is working great and I plan to level that place."

"Well, the clock sure can't complain," Jase pointed towards it with a small grin on his face."Kaidan, I need you with a clear head. You going on a killing spree fueled by revenge isn't helping anyone. We're the same rank now, no questions asked. But frankly, it worries me a little." Jase held up his hand, going against any argument that might come. "I _understand_ you. I do."

"Do you?? Is your husband down there being abused? Beaten? *Tortured*? Because somehow I don't think you really do understand Jase."  
  
Jase closed his eyes at these words, containing the surge of anger that swept through him. Then he looked at him once more, eyes gone cold and narrowed, jaw set. "Don't you dare to tell me I don't."  
  
"I just did." Kaidan growled. "So sorry if you have a problem with that."  
  
Jase got up, nearly going to punch him, but he didn't. "I was sitting on the SR1 for weeks, not knowing if MY PARTNER was still alive, dying or already dead!! While watching you and my other self gushing over each other!" The back of his head started to burn and Jase knew this was a very bad sign.

Kaidan visibly cooled down and backed away a bit.

"I... I didn't realize... I'm sorry..."

"Now you do," Jase grunted out, turned around and left. Outside, at his door he punched and kicked the wall several times, needing to get rid of the anger inside and release it before he'd break something else, or someone. But Jeff was flying the ship. And right now he didn't want to burden him more with his past. He went into his cabin, pulling up the feeds to watch his sister.  
  


Jase sighed and rubbed his face and stared out of the window above their bed and into space. He couldn't sleep again, the images from his old world were pressing forward. Since he had been on Thessia, he felt less angry actually, aside of today's events with Kaidan. Jase knew he was taking a few steps forward, among not lying to anyone anymore about his feelings. Kelly's advice had been good: Find out if you can, be sure about it and it will bring you some peace.

It was true, but also gone was any kind of small hope. The next sigh was more one of a sniffle and he wiped away the tears, his pillow was soaking wet by now. If he turned to face Jeff, reach over to feel him and have some kind of contact, Jase knew he would wake him with his stuffy nose.

Arlen's reports worried him. And then the feeds from Saya, seeing her getting implanted again, all those beatings and more. He knew she had screamed, he just didn't hear it. Jase felt he should have really bombed that place the first time. Their problems and Saya's fear would have disappeared. Who was this Udina? Where was the other one? The one from his world? And Jase more than hoped to meet her or him, being able to talk to someone else about it, share his thoughts and experience. It couldn't be easy on the other one either. Jase sniffed again, wiping away more wetness from his face. He also needed to talk to Kaidan, tell him they were ok. That both of them were scared for Saya.

"You know..." Jeff said sleepily. "Trying to cry quietly? That doesn't work very well."

"Sorry," Jase whispered as he reached over to find some body contact, "didn't mean to wake you."

"Nah it's okay. I have trouble sleeping when I know my Captain might be... well... you know..."

Jase nodded. "Yeah. I hate men for that. Doc's been sneaking around her, must have taken care a bit of her."

"You know I've been wondering. Why can't Edi just jam the signals to all those devices?"

"Dunno," Jase moved and fished out a tissue to blow his nose. "I'm drawing a lot of blanks lately. Today .. I didn't know what to do Jeff."

"Well if it matters... I think you've done everything right." Joker said softly.

Jase turned onto his side so he could watch him. "Thanks," he whispered. "Jeff, I want to tell you so many things. I wouldn't know where to start. I just.. love you. I'm sorry I'm coming with a lot of crap, you don't deserve that."

Jase moved closer to him and wasn't able to stop the tears, which started to become overwhelming now. "We need to ask Edi... I just.." Jase said between the sobbing, "I love you... you're .. my life."

Joker closed his eyes and took Jase carefully into his arms.

"I get that Jase... and I love you too. Always have and always will."

Jase nodded and eventually he calmed down. This was home, right here with Jeff. Nowhere else. Jeff's skin felt incredibly against his face and he kissed the area gently.  
  
"Edi," Jase said groggily, "Jeff wants to know if you can jam the signals to those control chips, or devices? Jeff, did you mean it like that?"

"Yeah that's how I meant it." Joker said as he yawned.

"I do not have enough information on the frequencies to create a jamming signal." Edi responded after a minute.

If Jase hadn't known better he would have said that even Edi seemed to need some sleep. He yawned as he gently caressed Jeff's side of the stomach. "Doc might have more info on this, he probably got some files on it somewhere. Find something, Edi. I know you can do it."

"I will begin digging through what Doctor Novak has. Hopefully there will be enough information in there." Edi responded then went silent. "Is he alright Shepard?"

Jase frowned, his tired mind going 'huh, who?'. "Doc Novak? I think he is Edi. You two are close?"

"He is... my friend." And with that she went silent again.

"Mh." Jase frowned again while kissing Jeff's stomach a little, just to show some love. "If I wouldn't know any better...," he yawned, "she's missing Doc."

"I'll tell you a secret Jase." Joker listened for a second to make sure he couldn't hear Edi. "I think she really cares for him. In a Traynor kind of way."

Jase moved slowly up to lie face to face to Jeff. "They're a pair and in love, Jeff? That what you mean?"

"Weeellll.... I don't know about him but she's *really* taken with him. I mean *really*... kind of like I am with you, ya know?"

"In love?" Jase scratched his head, thinking about their Doctor now. "I didn't get any vibes off him. Should we try, bring them together?"

"After what he's doing down there for us Jase... he deserves to have someone in his life to care for him."

Jase nodded. "Looks like he already does but doesn't know it." With a soft long sigh Jase rubbed his eyes. "We should try to sleep some more... Need to talk to Kaidan in the morning, see how he's doing."

"Just be careful okay? I don't want either you or him being off your game for this. We *need*...*I* need you at your best."

That brought a gentle smile onto his face, hearing Jeff saying he needs him. "I promise, I'll be careful and get us all home. Wanna lay a bit in my arm?"

"Honestly do you really think I would ever say no to that?"

"No," he replied softly as he moved around to get Jeff lying in his arm, "but I can't just grab you and move you over." Jase yawned then once more and laid his free hand onto Jeff's which crawled a long his chest. "Sleep well, handsome."

Joker sighed softly and tried to close his eyes.  
  


Irimsaya found herself staring at a bed as the new chip in her head suddenly deactivated as the person who rented her for the night entered the room.

The person walked closer and nearly said the Captain's name, but caught it just in time. "You look like shit."

"Jack..." Saya breathed a small sigh of relief when she heard the other woman's voice. "I'm so glad you were able to make it."

"Couldn't pass this up, tearing apart a f.. frustrating place like this. Seems like fun."  
  
Saya smiled a little bit at that then gingerly sat down on the bed.

"So does that mean you rented me so I could actually get some rest?"

Jack went to sit down next to her and laid her arm around Saya's shoulder, making it look a bit as if she was kissing her under the ear.

"Your doctor is kind of cute," she whispered. Jack didn't tell her they were baring their teeth at each other after she had insulted him by calling him a pussy, which had sent him spluttering. "Insisted I have to keep you safe for the night."

"He's a good guy, Jack. Don't work him over too hard." Saya tried to smile. "When you see the others... the one from Jase's universe... it's Udina."

"The asshole," Jack said right away and pushed Saya gently down, getting the light covers over them.

Somehow Saya felt safe the second she was lying down. Grateful to Jack and knowing the other woman wouldn't let anything happen to her on this night, she closed her eyes and drifted off into a light sleep.

Arlen breathed a big sigh of relief when he saw them going to sleep. It basically meant he could finally get a few hours of sleep too and just had to be there in time to turn on the chip. Or if lucky, he could leave it off.  
  


The next morning, very early on, Jase went down to the cargo hold and got a new alarm clock for Kaidan. He went back upstairs and knocked on the door. Before he heard any reply he just sighed deeply and felt himself relax.

"Come in." Came Kaidan's tired voice from the other side of the door.

"Hey Kaidan," Jase said as he walked in and came down the stairs. He handed him the box with the clock, not saying anything to the item. "Jack spent the night with Saya."

Kaidan smiled a bit when he saw what was in the box.

"Thanks for this. And she did? So Saya was able to sleep... good.... good..."

"You're welcome. Yeah she got some sleep. Asked Salvar to spend the next night with her. He doesn't have the military buzz cut like many of our crew."

"If that damned Batarian will let her go two nights in a row.." Kaidan rubbed his eyes. "Think there's any way I can spend a night with her?"

"Same reason why I can't do it. They know both of us." Jase sighed a bit. "I suspect he will, the creds are high enough and Darian won't touch her either."

With a heavy sigh Kaidan nodded a little bit.

"Alright. Thanks Jase.. for keeping me informed."

Jase nodded and watched him for a few seconds before he spoke up again. "Kaidan, about last evening. I'm.. sorry. We're alright, you and me?"

Before nodding, Kaidan raised an eyebrow.

"Jase, of course. You're my brother-in-law. You're also part of Saya - I could never stay mad at her and therefore not with you."

Jase nodded. "Thanks. When you said that... anyway. I have..," his omni-tool beeped, letting him know he had a new message. "Second please. Must be from Jack." Jase pulled it up and read. "What." Jase's eyes quickly glanced at Kaidan. "Can't be. Message from Jack: 'Councilor Udina is from Shepard's alternate universe.'"

"Udina... but... what... how..." Kaidan spluttered and knew right away that his wife was in more danger than any of them realized previously.

Jase had to swallow this information at first. "Kaidan, he's a total asshole. What the hell is he doing here and how the hell has he come to this world?! My coming over was an...," Jase just stared at Kaidan for a bit. "An accident...," he whispered. But had it really been one?

"I never believed that for a minute Jase. I know you and Saya did but I didn't. I can't see it being an accident that you're here. Not that I care either way because I'm damned glad you *are* here."

Jase just looked at him and then away as he sat down. The silence stretched on turning into minutes as he was digesting this.

Pulling over a chair, Kaidan sat across from Jase.

"Can you think of any reason why someone would want you here? In our universe?"

Jase rubbed his forehead and shook his head. "No," he said quietly. "I was considered for spectre status, Nihlus was on the Normandy. Everything happened more than three years ago."

"Could you... have been a test subject? For someone to see if it was possible?"

"Heh... maybe." Jase shook his head and kept rubbing his temples now. "They sure as hell didn't expect me having such an impact on the galaxy. Any galaxy."

"Either way - this Udina knows who my wife is Jase. He knows she's a Shepard. And if he's anything like our Udina was... he'll use that to his advantage."

"We have to get her out of there. Udina's worse then yours was, Kaidan. He had a reputation of getting what he wanted, no matter the cost. He didn't take no as an answer, unless it came from the Council. Then he had to. Even that didn't stop him at times. No, he's not here because of Saya or me. There's another reason. If he's here, chances are there's someone else with him, if not more. Saya said the Reapers might be brought over, and I think that's what he's trying to do now. Lure them here, close the door, save the rest of his galaxy. You know Kaidan, he doesn't even consider saving people by bringing them over...into safety... to us... ugh.."

"Wait - you said he's worse than ours was? Udina wanted Saya for his own - he always did. Mostly as a corpse but if he could have controlled her he would have. As for bringing people here... he doesn't think like that Jase. In any universe."

"A lot worse Kaidan. Power hungry as a Reaper itself," Jase nodded. "We need a plan, a good one. Kasumi. We let her keep an eye on him, find out where he goes, what he's doing, his contacts, everything." Jase thought of something. "I'll get in touch with Miranda, have to call the kids anyway. Let's see if she knows of anything that could allow people to pass over into another reality."

"Jase... what about Saya? Now we know who it is... does she have to stay down there?"

Jase sighed and scratched his head. "I _really_ want to take her out there Kaidan, but right now we can't. He needs to feel secure, allowing Kasumi to do her work and find out all his dirty secrets. If we take Saya out, he knows we're here, he'll huddle up and disappear."

Clenching his fists, Kaidan got up and started pacing.

"I saw recordings... Jase do you know how many times that Batarian has rented her out already??"

"Kaidan if I could take this burden onto myself I'd do it in a heartbeat." Jase stated. Problem was, no one really wanted to rent a guy. "The faster Kasumi gets her fingers into Udina's files, the sooner we can get Saya out of that hell. Darian's on it tonight. He won't touch her. Females aren't his thing either. She's safe with him."

Kaidan looked at him.

"There's still the day to get through before she gets to be with him." Worry was in his voice.

"Then let's not waste any more time. We got work to do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned, we have just finished writing all of Batarian Fire (including "After Effects"). I'll try and upload everything as my time allows.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Irimsaya felt the click in her head as soon as the chip reactivated, not only inflicting pain but also taking away her will to refuse any command. With this improved chip she was a prisoner in her own body - aware of everything that was happening, able to feel pain, but unable to prevent any of it. She wanted to kick and scream as her Batarian master grabbed her roughly by the arm and forced her to another area of the bar... where Udina was waiting.

"The chip she has now is real." The Batarian growled at Udina. "I'm getting a lot of money renting her out - why should I let you buy her from me?"

Kasumi stuck to the shadows, finding this conversation very interesting now.

"I am interested in buying the ownership of this slave. I will rent her to you and you may do as you please." Udina said, knowing full well he needed the extra income of credits for his project.

The Batarian laughed loudly.

"Why would I give you her ownership?" He licked Saya's neck. "I like this slave."

It was all Kasumi could do to stay hidden when she saw her friend treated like that.

"Think twice and choose wisely. If it hadn't been for me, she would still fake everything." Udina pointed out, giving him another chance.

The Batarian growled at Udina.

"Very well, but I will mark her as mine." He moved his mouth to Saya's neck again and sunk his teeth in, making the woman's eyes water in pain but she couldn't scream without permission. He pulled away chuckling. "Now you may have her. But I can see her whenever I wish."

Udina glared at him only and jerked her from the Batarian then. "You may," he replied curtly and led her away.

Kasumi followed at a distance, keeping an eye on the blood trail on Saya's neck. She reached for her communicator as she walked and spoke quietly.

"Shep you there? Jase?"

"I'm reading you Kasumi," came the prompt reply.

"This guy Udina? He just took ownership of your sister... well after the Batarian marked her as his... but point is - he has her. What do you want me to do?"

"Stay close, don't let them out of sight. We need to know where he goes and what he's up to."

"You got it Shep. I'll be his very own shadow."

"You can do it Kasumi, you're the best thief of the galaxy." Jase said and thought, 'Well, two actually.'

"What? What's that supposed to mean Shep? Are you saying I'm *not* the best? I'm hurt!" Kasumi had a smile on her face as she spoke.

"Well, best thief of two galaxies," Jase replied, amusement in his voice which quickly faded away though.

"You're oh so funny Shep..." Kasumi trailed off and Jase could hear something over the comm. "Well that was unexpected... he's turned off her chip to talk to her... well she has a pistol in her face but still..."

Irimsaya glared at Udina, readying herself to take the pistol from him.

"You really shouldn't have turned it off, Udina."

"Who implanted your fake chip?" Udina asked, pushing the gun even further into her face.

"Wouldn't you like to know." She moved fast and grabbed the pistol from him. "Next time I'd be prepared to use that if I were you."

Udina sneered at her and at the same time he activated the chip again, taking the gun from her. "Who implanted your fake chip slave?"

Irimsaya raged in her mind as she was returned to being a prisoner in her body. To her horror she found her mouth and voice working of their own accord, answering Udina's question.

"The doctor on the Normandy."  
  
"What's his name?" Udina asked, touching her behind as he circled her.

"Arlen Novak." She replied while screaming in her mind.

Udina nodded, believing the doctor, who's name was unknown to him, was on the same ship she had come from. "Move," he snarled. "You have customers."

"Do I displease you Master?" She asked, automatically responding to the tone of his voice.

"Not right now," Udina said as he shoved her into another room which was off the bars of New Omega. It looked like a lounge, dark and smoky. "Work your round woman."

"As you wish Master." Saya began going around the room as requested.  
  


It was a few hours later when Jase requested an update from Kasumi. "Kasumi, give me an update. What have you found?"

"Lots of interesting stuff in these files Shep. I've already started uploading them to the Normandy for you."

"Mh. Thank you Kasumi. Any update on my sister?" Jase asked before hitting the other comm. "Edi, take the helm please for a while. I need Jeff here with me in the war room. Kaidan, join us, Kasumi's uploading Udina's files."

Both Joker and Kaidan acknowledged Jase's request as Edi took over piloting the Normandy.

"Other than me telling you that Udina appears to be enjoying himself immensely is there anything I can say that *won't* get you pissed off?" Kasumi asked.

"Hit me with it Kasumi," Jase said, rubbing his head as he was watching the files being uploaded. As soon as one was finished he pulled it up and opened it.

"She has been... bitten several times - a few on the neck and face. Plus she probably has a couple of broken ribs..."

Jase shook his head, wondering what people found in biting other people and breaking their ribs. "Alright Kasumi, if these files contain what we're looking for, we'll get her out of there."

He just looked up in time to see Kaidan and Jeff joining him. The file appeared in the middle allowing everyone to read it at once. "Let's see what the first file is about," Jase said as he turned to look at it.

"I'd say from the name of the file... it's about you Jase." Joker said, looking at it.

A part of him didn't want to see it or know it. "What wants the bastard with my complete resume..?" Jase wondered as he skimmed it over. It was complete. As in extremely complete, including everything and more he did remember. Names, places, the police station where he stole the officer's backpack, the Demilios.

"There's some vids stored. Let's see." Jase pulled the first one up and let it play.  
  


_A very young Jase about the age of 10 rubbed his right shoulder to lessen the weird pain. His eyes were staring at the desk as the police officer addressed him._

" _What's your name, young man?" The officer asked. He was older, eyes hard like steel and Jase squirmed a little on the seat, moving around nervously. On the man's desk was a cup of coffee, a half eaten sandwich and a box of take out. The smell assaulted his nose and his stomach started to growl._

" _I asked you a question!" The man's voice startled him, causing Jase to jump a little. Blue eyes looked at the officer once more and he forgot for a second about the food._

" _Shepard. Jase Shepard." Jase answered with a half suppressed growl but quickly added a polite, "Sir." The police and security people were good people. Or so his mother had told him. They shouldn't have died. How could they dare to die?_

_His eyes were back on the sandwich. The officer licked his lips and took it into his big hands, taking a bite. Jase's eyes followed the sandwich, saw the teeth of the man and how he opened his mouth to bite into it. He could nearly taste it on his own tongue. The feel of the bread between his teeth, how he took the bite. Jase's mouth started to water as the man stared at his screen, reading._

" _Mph.. Yeph. Mmh. There's something."_

_Jase swallowed, watching the man chew. 'Just a bite, please? I'm so hungry. Can't you see?'_

" _Mmh..," he said again, "wait here. I need to talk to someone." The officer then left and Jase's eyes were back on the sandwich. Once the man was gone he checked to see where he went and Jase couldn't see him. Then he focused on the sandwich once again. Food. Good smelling tasty fresh food. Enough to fill that ugly growing hole in his belly._

_Jase quickly slipped off the chair and slid quietly around the desk. He felt like a dog stealing food from the table as he snatched the sandwich and quickly took a bite, then another and hastily swallowed it down while his eyes darted around to make sure no one saw. The cup of coffee was half filled and he took it, taking a sip. It didn't taste as good as it smelled, but it helped him to swallow. He placed the cup back down and his eyes fell on the man's terminal while eating the rest of the sandwich in a haste._

_There were pictures on it. Many pictures and he blinked. Jase went closer, licked his fingers clean and started to scroll through the opened file. When he reached the lower end he knew he couldn't go back home. The home was gone. The Demilios were dead. Their home was bloody, torn up and destroyed. He couldn't go back home._

_Jase sniffed a little, eyes filling with tears as he took a step back and his right foot hit something on the ground. At first he wanted to kick at it to let go of some of the rage and whatever else he felt but his eyes narrowed in thought._

_It was a backpack. Not really thinking straight, or maybe he did - Jase couldn't say anymore, he took the backpack, grabbed the whole lot of pens and paper lying around on the table (what he wanted with them he didn't know. But the feel of real paper and a pen still held something precious to him as an adult), pushed them into the pack, as well as the take out box and stuffed it into it._

_There was a sweater on the chair and he took it too, folded it and pressed it into the backpack to get the zipper closed. Jase swallowed, took another look around and opened the drawers one by one. There were a few credit chits lying around and Jase grabbed them quickly, slipping them into his jacket's pockets. The backpack wandered onto his back and he adjusted it. Slowly and carefully, he was trying to walk as casual as possible, Jase left the station without looking back._   
  


"Where the hell did he get this from...," Jase asked Kaidan and Jeff before he pulled up the next.

"I don't get this... why would he have these of you Jase?" Kaidan asked him. "And why does he want Saya now?"

Jase shrugged. "I don't know Kaidan. I never was in touch with him. Never met him personally. There's another one, older. It's... after I lost my lost my parents." Jase shook his head and let it run.  
  


_Sirens were blaring around him and he was stuck in a car. The car laid upside down and the four years old Jase could barely make out the figures of his parents. Fires were crackling around them and the smoke filled his lungs, setting off hurtful rounds of coughs. He wanted to scream for his mommy, but only coughing came out. Eyes burning, he clutched the little stuffed animal to his chest, burying his face into it. The coughing wouldn't stop, not long and everything he knew was darkness._   
  


" _What's your name?" The nurse asked, trying to get the four year old boy to say something. But he was just watching her for minutes. The stuffed animal was gone and the room he was in had lackluster paint on the walls. It looked as lost as he felt._

" _What's your name, do you remember it?" she asked again, using a more gentle voice. Jase sat up, pulled up his legs and wrapped his arms around his knees to rest his face on them._

" _Jase Shepard," he answered with a tiny voice._

" _Is that.. written with 'Ch' or 'J', or are you even called Jason?"_

_He tried to remember, his parents always had called him Jase, had made jokes of calling him 'chasing Jase'. At this young age he didn't know how it would be written, or how his parents thought it should have been written. And why would they want to know anyway? Security and soldiers were friends and to be trusted. If he needed help, he could ask those people, they would know. That's what his parents had told him. And his parents were always right. They were bright people, had been living on a spaceship before. Eventually, he just shrugged._

" _Jase. Where's mommy?"_

" _I'm sorry honey. Your mommy won't come."_

" _Why? Why doesn't she want to come, have I been bad?" And where was his stuffed animal? Had he lost it? Instead he reached around and took the pillow as best as he could, hugging it to his chest._

" _Jase, honey, your mommy and daddy had an accident. They have gone to the heavens."_

_Jase looked at her, it didn't make sense. Why would they go to live on a spaceship again and leave him here?_

" _They're on a spaceship and forgot to take me with them?" he asked hopeful, if so, they'd come and get him._

" _No. It means they. They died."_

_He was watching her, his blue eyes were piercing into hers, trying to understand what she just had said._

" _They won't come and get me?"_

" _No honey. I'm sorry."_  
  


"That was the first time I woke in a strange bed with a stranger at my side telling me my life had changed. Why would he have this...? That was in 2158 for christ's sake!" Jase asked himself, shaking his head.  


* * *

Irimsaya blinked when Udina deactivated the control chip again once he got her back to his rooms. She moaned and sat down gingerly, holding her chest.

"What... do you want...."

Udina gave her another one of his feral grins, knowing that turning the chip on and off would make it easier to break her will.

"Jason Shepard."

"Who?" Saya feigned confusion.

Udina grabbed her by her chin which was half fixed only by Arlen. He squeezed it hard and brought her closer. "Jason Shepard," he repeated. "Don't mock me. Shepard."

Irimsaya's eyes watered in pain as her squeezed her jaw.

"I don't know who you're talking about." She managed to mumble out.

Udina laughed, a dirty weird laugh. "You're calling him brother."

"I am? I really have no idea who you're talking about." She mumbled.

"I could turn your chip back on, slave. This is more to my likes though." Udina's eyes swept over her body and he quickly touched her, moving down her top to gain access to one of her breasts.

"You'll have to tie me up first then." She moved suddenly and punched him hard.  
  
The punch had effectively broken his nose and Udina growled, punching her back. But by far, he was no trained soldier.

Irimsaya moved off the bed as quickly as she could, clutching her broken ribs to try and keep them stable.

Udina, as old and fragile he looked, dashed after her, gaining some extra strength from the anger of her having broken his nose.

Saya cried out as she was grabbed from behind around her ribs, the pain blinding her momentarily as she was dragged back to the bed.

Chaos ensued, the two of them fighting for the upper hand.

His punches were landing somewhat harder than Saya had expected. She twisted, whimpering a little as her ribs moved, but she managed to throw him off again. As quickly as she could she moved for the door, her back to him so she had no idea he had her controller in his hand once more.

With a sly satisfied grin, Udina turned the chip back on and moved slowly after her.  
  
  
Arlen was crawling the ducts. The one he had found which led to the room the Captain was in wasn't on his map. It wasn't on any map concerning New Omega. To his utter surprise the duct he currently was in had a cross road, leading into more ducts. Arlen mapped out every duct he found and crawled along the fourth when suddenly there was a hole and his hands found nothing to hold on to, falling face forward into it.

Arlen groaned, gritting his teeth trying to make not any more noises. The crash down had been loud enough and he strained his ears to find any sign of someone having discovered him. He just heard his own harsh breathing and he carefully inspected his limbs. The wrist was at least sprained but luckily the medi-gel had already kicked it, lessening the pain. He crawled on carefully, slower than before through the dark ducts, the omni-tool the only source of light. Arlen lowered the light when he began hearing voices.  
  
"The synch is at 99% now. Stay ready!" A male voice ordered.

Arlen hurried on, ahead of him was a grid and he could see the lights from it.  
  
"100%. We're green," a woman said and continued, "blue... and white!"  
  
Arlen watched through the grid of the duct he knelt in as something big, like a window..., something he hadn't really seen before but the surface did remind him of what the Mass Relays looked like, opened and a group of husks and cannibals came through. The gunfire that followed caused him to cover his ears by instinct but they ended up ringing anyway. He was shocked as he hurried back; what were these people doing here? As soon as he found a place far away enough he hit the comm, calling the Normandy.  
  


Jase left the personal file alone and moved on to the next one, inspecting this with Kaidan and Jeff.

"That's a list of people he's working with and had been. I recognize a few names but nothing stands out," Jase told them and moved it aside, picking the next.

"Project Permaneo Spes," Jase read aloud. "Anyone know what this means?"

Edi spoke up, having been listening to them.

"It is latin for last hope, Shepard."

"Does that mean anything to you Jase" Kaidan asked, looking at him.

"No. Nothing. Never heard of it. Latin wasn't on my list to learn. Learning reading, writing and math at the age of 17 was more important to me," he told them as he opened it. Blueprints, spreedsheets, coordinates, locations. Jase pulled up a few blueprints and zoomed in.

"My god..! What is that? That's a prothean beacon.. as a power source. These prints describe on how to modify it to create a.. synchronization between two.. realities." Jase moved back to his personal file and pulled up the last vid, called Eden Prime. It was the ultimate proof of him not having lied at all, allowing Jeff and Kaidan to witness what happened more than three years ago.  
  
 _"Commander?"_ Kaidan, his Kaidan called out. _"Commander?! Shepard! Where are you?"_ turning around, scanning the area. _"Jase! JASE!"_ The vid continued playing, showing his LT walking closer to the camera, finding it and at this point it stopped.

"You realize that my file is called Jason Shepard," Jase said, voice thick. "On Thessia, when I was ... talking.. to the beacon, I heard my mother. She said something like I had to go over here, it was my fate." Jase enhanced the vid once more, there was a small writing.

"Here, see that? 'Testsubject JS'."

Kaidan let that all sink in for a minute.

"They used you... to see if it was even possible..."

"Yeah," Jase replied, glancing at Jeff, "and fucked up their own world. But why call it Last Hope and send me over? In the end, it was their doom." Jase sighed and went back to the project's file.  
  
"Well, look at this. They sent someone else over shortly after me. Testsubject 'DS'. '...is to report frequently ... about any difficulties testsubject JS might encounter.' There's another entry, a few weeks later. 'DS stopped reporting. We must assume testsubject 'DS' is deceased or has been discovered.'" Jase snorted and shook his head.

"Just... hang on. If they were expecting... reports this means something must have been built up somewhere, allowing reports to be sent."

"Shepard, I am receiving a transmission from Doctor Novak - relaying it to you now." Edi chimed in.

Kaidan glanced at Jase, fearful that Saya had been critically hurt or worse.

"Thank you Edi. Arlen? What's going on?"

"Commander? I found something," Arlen breathed heavily, he was still very upset and even scared by what he had seen. "Something's down here. Something.. big...!"

"Arlen slow down. Where's 'down here'?" Jase said, having turned around and had his back towards the file they had been looking it. His eyes rested on Jeff and then on Kaidan.

"Uhm... I mapped out more ducts and fell into one. And followed that one which led into another one and then there was this light and I heard voices and they said they have a synch at 99% and to be ready. And..,"  
  
Jase interrupted him. "A synch? Where are you right now? Edi, can you locate him?"  
  
"I'm still in the ducts, sir. They had a synch and there was this huge window and husks and cannibals came out of it. Sir, this is like a test facility and there are people down here working on it."

Jase looked at the map and saw it was big. Following his instinct he then pulled up the project file, including the blueprint and moved it over Edi's layout.

"We have a match. Doc, get back to the Captain. Stay with her and deactivate her chip. We're getting you out of there.

"Yes, sir." Arlen said, knowing he'd have a hard time getting back up the vertical duct. A strong painkiller would help.

"Edi, can you monitor the facility's communications?" Jase didn't want them to know they were going to get Udina. He wanted to go there and see it himself.

"I have been monitoring them since we arrived, Shepard. If I might make a recommendation?" The map in front of Jase zoomed in a bit. "This is where Doctor Novak is currently located." The map moved again. "This is where the Captain is. I do not see any other way for the Doctor to get to her without risking further injury to himself."

"Further injury Edi?" Jase asked as he took a good long at the map and had to agree. If he fell or slipped, he'd risk an injury for sure.

"When Doctor Novak contacted us I detected a hint of pain in his voice. I believe he may be wounded."

Jase glanced at Jeff, remembering their nightly chat about Edi and the Doctor. "Doc, are you hurt?" Jase asked, calling him up again.

"Uh.. well, I fell down. And my right wrist is swollen, medi-gel kicked in though sir. I'm on my way back up sir."

Jase scratched his neck. It would be better if he could leave the ducts. "Doc. Arlen. Are you sure you can make the climb back up?"

"I.. I think I can...," he answered.

"But?" Jase asked, knowing Arlen wasn't sure at all about it.

"I'm.. not sure if I can make it. Sir."

"Stay where you are Arlen, we'll get you out of there." Jase replied and sighed softly.

"Uh.. yeah.. I'll stay here, don't have anywhere else to go anyway in this darkness." Not to mention narrow and warm.

"Edi, I trust you're keeping an eye on him? Is there any other way out he can take?"

"Short of someone punching a hole in a nearby wall for him to climb through I am unable to ascertain another route."

"Or someone crawls into the ducts himself and throws him a rope. Any other way I see is to take over the facility," Jase said as he turned back to look at the maps in front of him. "But first we need to get Saya out of there."

"I am not sure that will be possible for awhile Shepard. I believe she is... being interrogated."

Which meant, in Jase's books, the sooner they got her out of there the better it was. "Kasumi, update!"

A soft grunt can be heard on her communicator.

"Nice Shep, blow my cover why don't you... If you're asking about your sister I can't help - there's some kind of security field protecting the room she was taken to. And it's encrypted with a code I don't recognize."

Jase just snorted. "Says the thief who'd been babbling to me all the time while in Hock's apartment. I know you can hack into it."

Then he looked at Kaidan and Jeff. "If one of you has an idea on how to get her out of there, I'm all ears."

Kaidan shook his head a bit.

"I... I have no idea Jase. None..." He closed his eyes and bowed his head.

"Send Edi down." Joker interrupted. "That'll cause all the men there to go bug-eyed and Jack can... neuter... them all before they do anything stupid..."

Jase leant back against the console, arms crossed and was studying his husband with a slight grin. "I like that. I should suggest you for a promotion LT. Edi, you up for a mission?"

"Of course Shepard. However I must point out that I cannot go on a mission while piloting the Normandy. If you would be so kind as to return Joker to the cockpit I will then assist you."

Jase just grinned a little bit, knowing full well why she did this. "Of course Edi. I know how much you like it when.. Jeff.. handles your ... thrusters." Now he was wondering what her response would be.

"But your tune-ups are what I look forward to Shepard."

Kaidan snickered despite himself.

"Oh," Jase grinned, nodding a little, arms still having crossed. "I'll remember that the next time I handle.. your tune-ups Edi. I might even send my combat drone into your... ducts."

"It would prove to be an entertaining experience Shepard."

Joker couldn't help himself, he started laughing hard.

Jase shook his head with a grin. "Alright people, back to work. Saya and Doc Novak need us." Jase went to Jeff to help him getting off the stairs. "I might just do that, you know, send the drone into her ducts."

"Nah don't do that, she'd enjoy it too much." Joker smiled at him.

"Yeah," he chuckled softly, "alright. Whenever I'm done here, I'll join you in the cockpit."

As soon as Jeff was on his way, Jase typed up a quick message to Jack that Edi would join her. Then he was waiting in the shuttle bay for their AI to show up.

Edi entered the bay, Kaidan right alongside her and suited up.

"Oh... hi Jase... I uh.. I didn't know you'd be here..."

To say he was surprised was an understatement. He had wanted to discuss a few things with Edi and on how to get their Doctor out of those ducts but those thoughts now vanished.

"What happened to, 'if you go down there they'll know you'?"

"If we're planning on shooting everything down there anyway then what does it matter? I can handle myself."

Jase gave up and nodded. "Well, the folks who'll ogle you will see just how sexy you look in that blue armour anyway. I'm sure you can handle yourself. Get her out of there. And Kaidan, I don't care of Udina lives or dies. We need access to the facility. Give him hell."

Kaidan gripped Jase's arm.

"For you.. I'll try and save the ammo. You deserve to talk to him yourself."

Jase wasn't sure at all if he wanted to talk to the bastard, but when Kaidan was right he was right. "Edi, knowing you I'm sure you have a plan on how to get Doc out of that duct." Unless of course they told him to enter the facility, which they would do anyway, sooner or later.

"Come with us Jase... we could use the extra firepower down there." Kaidan tried to persuade him.

Jase rubbed his left eye, watching the two of them and eventually he nodded. "Alright." He went to get his armour and weapons and hit the comms. "Jeff? I'm going with Edi, Kaidan's joining too. I just.. wanted to let you know. And.. I don't know Jeff, there's been a lot going on today. Guess there'll be even more for me in store."

"Just come home safe Jase. Promise me that." Joker's voice came over the comm. "You have to promise me."

"I promise Jeff. Keep the ship safe. Love you, handsome tiger." Taking a deep breathe Jase joined up with Kaidan and Edi. Luckily he was wearing gloves otherwise his hands would have been cold already. He was nervous. "We're going in using the ducts."

"You just want dirty armour to match your dirty mind Shepard." Edi responded.

Jase hadn't even been thinking dirty thoughts so when she said this, he snorted. And then he chuckled, shaking his head.

"You just want me to bring out the combat drone Edi. Joking aside. Best way without getting spotted."

"Indeed it is. I concur with your plan. I will make every effort to scramble any sensors they might have in place so they will not see us coming." Edi said.

Jase nodded and brought up the layout of the surrounding club. "Saya's being held down here. Edi, how about you knock on Udina's door while Kaidan and I take the ducts to reach his room."

"That seems like the best plan. I cannot come up with another." Edi answered.

"Then let's do this." Kaidan smiled ruefully.

Jase nodded and left the shuttle together with Kaidan. "We might have a problem Kaidan, Doc can't come close enough to deactivate her chip," Jase told him softly.

Kaidan stopped and looked at Jase.

"While that chip is active... she's not my wife Jase. That chip is just a cage for her mind."

"It's a cage, I agree. No matter how, we need to get her out of there." Jase started walking again, not wanting to waste any minute. They were so close finally, he felt it.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where the rape is taking place. Like we wrote before, it isn't done in a graphic way. I'll mark the paragraph too, just in case someone wishes to scroll over it.

Kaidan nodded to the wall. 

"There's the duct. Shall we get down and dirty?"

Jase looked at him with a crooked grin. "Hell yeah." At this moment, Kaidan reminded him a lot of his own Kaidan.

Kaidan ripped the cover off the ductwork with his biotics then motion for Jase to lead the way.

Jase shrugged a little as Kaidan was definitely a bit pissed off. Not that he blamed him, after what they had been through in the past weeks. 

Weeks. 

Going down onto his knees and crawling into it, he realized they had been gone from Hawaii for some time now. The twins would have grown even more, Mitzi probably had already caught some more mice and hopefully everyone remembered to feed the animals. And Pepper. How he missed Pepper too.

"God. These are always so small. Sure felt different as a kid. Good thing Doc's lean."

"Yeah... you know we'll be lucky if we *don't* get stuck with this armour on..."

"We could take them off," Jase whispered, having some more dirty images going through his mind. Now was not the time to think of sex. As usual he was out, doing dangerous things and his mind and body reacted in such a way. No wonder he had been after Jeff's butt once they had climbed the wall on Hawaii.

"No we can't. No choice but to squeeze through this as quietly as possible. Here, left turn."

"Right behind you." Kaidan grunted as he crawled along. "Damn this space is tight."

Jase just smirked, quietly praying Kaidan would stop giving him images as he crawled on and the duct took a slight turn downwards. Then they reached another crossroad. "Right one." They could hear the faint bass of the music coming from the bar.

"You know..." Kaidan grunted out. "For some stupid reason I just pictured Wrex trying to do this..."

Jase stopped crawling and felt Kaidan bump into him. He had to bite into his glove cause the grin turned into a chuckle and then he was howling actually. Jase was so worked up from all the worry and stress, this image brought some relief to his mind. Because Wrex in this duct, would certainly plug it for sure.

"Kaidan, you're as bad as Jeff. And Edi," Jase whispered harshly while trying to get the bubbling laughter under control. "This isn't a good time for jokes and images."

"Hey if now, when two men are crawling through a tight space, is not a good time then when is?" There was a tremor in Kaidan's voice that he couldn't help. He was claustrophobic.

By now the music was getting louder and they being discovered was less risky. 

"Yeah exactly. Two men crawling through a tight space. Nicely said Commander. Got any more jokes? Duct straight ahead is ours. You know that Cortez has a thing for tight spaces?" 

Jase swore when he accidently hit the duct with his head. "Dammit..."

Kaidan swallowed hard.

"Jase... I shouldn't have come. I... I can't..."

"Kaidan?" Jase stopped and tried to turn a bit so he could look at him. "What is it?"

He was breathing hard and knew that there was sweat dripping down his face.

"I thought I had gotten past this. I uh I'm... Well tight spaces and me... We don't get along so well."

Jase nodded as he turned the omni-tool flashlight off again. "Yeah, last time you were fine. We gotta keep going Kaidan. Let's crawl ahead and the sooner we're out of this, the better. Anything I can do?"

Kaidan shook his head a bit then realized Jase couldn't see the motion.

"No but thanks for asking.."

"Hey Kaidan, you're doing fine," Jase told him softly. The loud noise of the music seemed to fade which meant they were past the bar by now and well onto their way to Saya.

Kaidan tried to focus on Jase then paused when he heard the sound of someone being beaten.

"Saya...," he whispered.

Jase listened and nodded, knowing the source. "Hurry," Jase said, crawling faster. If there was anything that really got his blood boiling, it was this. 

"Everyone, we're in position," he said as they had finally reached their exit. "Edi, door's yours."

"Understood Shepard." A moment of silence passed. "The door is now open."

******* Beginning of the warning *******

Saya's mind registered the voice outside the door as Edi's and she felt a tear roll down her cheek as she lay there on the bed, Udina over her, still beating her soundly. The chip was preventing her from fighting back and he was taking full advantage of it... *full* advantage. They were both naked on the bed and the man seemed to take some kind of perverse pleasure in hurting her while he was claiming her body.

"Come inside Edi, guard that door." What Jase saw through the grid set his blood on fire and clouded his vision. Jase could hear the loud rush of his own pulse beating madly away in his ears. Fueled by the hatred and anger Jase ripped the grid off and flung it noisely onto the floor below and jumped into the room. There were no right words in his mind for this man. 

"You fucking bastard! GET OFF HER!" Jase yelled before he charged at the man, grabbed him and hurled him off his sister.

Saya wanted to scream in agony as Udina was ripped from her body but the chip prevented her from doing anything but just lying there. Kaidan dropped down behind Jase and stared at the bed in shock and horror for a few seconds before his training kicked in, causing him to act. He went to his wife and gently wrapped some of the blankets around her.

****** end of warning ****** 

"Jase... if you want to kill him be my guest.. but might I suggest you ask what the hell he's doing here first?" Kaidan growled out softly as he gently stroked Saya's hair.

Jase didn't need to nod, Kaidan knew he was going to do it anyway. And Edi, Jase trusted her to keep them safe. He hurled Udina further along sitting on him once he'd turning him face down and had safely secured the bastard's hands behind his back.

"I'm all ears Udina. I knew you were a slick bastard way back, but forcing yourself onto helpless women?" 

Jase took the back of the man's head and smashed his nose into the ground, causing him to yell out in pain. He was close to get his combat knife and hold it against the man's throat, letting it slowly cut deeper and deeper.

"Start talking!" 

Udina was smiling to himself.

"So you *are* alive. I'd heard rumours but had to see it for myself."

"Rumours? You idiot! It fucked up our galaxy with my being gone!" Jase smashed his head again against the floor. 

Udina just laughed.

"Alenko tried so hard to fill your shoes. He really missed you though..."

Kaidan glanced over, hatred in his eyes.

"Jase, we need to get her back to the Normandy or get Arlen here asap.."

"Both," Jase said to Kaidan. They needed the Doc and get them back to the Normandy. "Edi, find Arlen, bring him here."

"Hasn't anyone taught you manners? Noone's to talk bad about the deceased," Jase replied to Udina. This time he jerked at the arms. "Especially the good ones." Jase hissed into his ear. "I saved this galaxy from the Reapers. I could have done the same for ours. Why the hell did this happen?"

"We needed a test subject and I needed you out of my way!" Udina snarled at him.

"Out of your way?! You fucking asshole! You doomed the whole galaxy with your selfishness! We, **I** , would have brought them to an end! What. Are. YOU. Doing. Here?"

"What do you think I'm doing here? I'm making room in this place for our survivors..." Udina hoped Jase would believe the lie.

Jase just snorted and pushed him down once more. It had been good he hadn't given away that he knew about the project and them sending reaper forces over. 

"No you don't. You don't care about others, only about yourself. I've got news for you," Jase said and got closer to his ear. "I know your secret. You want to infest this galaxy with your reaper threat and become a hero you'll never be. I won't tolerate this. _I_ will save **my** people."

Jase took his pistol and pressed it into the back of the man's head, having heard enough coming from him. Saya needed help and they had to gain access to the project and stop them sending over Reapers.

"I should cut off your balls first, smash them, make you eat them. I should hurt you in ways you never seemed possible. Know what? I don't even care about **you** and what you did to me. I care about the people you made suffer, the billions of people who died because you wanted me out of the way! The planets the Reapers eradicated because of you!"

Jase armed it, finger on the trigger. "Say good bye Udina, to a galaxy you never belonged to. Say good bye to our galaxy, I'll rid them of the pest you are."

Jase pulled the trigger, sending a bullet into the back of his head. "This is for Saya!!"

Another _bam_ followed. 

"That's for Kaidan you bastard!" and continued with another one. "For Joker! The best god damn pilot you sacrificed for your plans! For Anderson!"

After two more Jase just stared at the mess that used to be Udina's head and looked away. His breathing was coming out in quick rasps and Jase knew he had to get himself back under some kind of control. 

'Damn it! Shouldn't have killed him, should have taken him in,' Jase thought, pushing his fingers into his eyes. But the sight of seeing Saya being tortured by him and more, the sight of this.. and what he had done to his other self. Jase gagged a little and swallowed hard then, straightened his shoulders and pushed down the current emotions. Saya needed him. Kaidan needed him, and so did Doc.

"Kaidan...? How's Saya?" Jase asked, slowly getting away from the corpse and onto his feet. There was still a part in his mind which had trouble to realize all the things which had happened on this day. It was mind blowing in its own.

Kaidan looked over at Jase.

"If she could talk I'd know more but it looks like she has a few broken ribs, a partially fixed broken jaw, one eye swollen and bruised... Jase there's a lot of injuries here. We need Arlen. And she's bleeding... down there..."

A shudder ran through Jase when he heard Kaidan's list and he kicked the dead body of Udina after he got up. Jase went over and took another blanket, throwing it over Udina, not wanting to see the man anymore.

"There's just one way to get to him right now and that's through the ducts." Jase looked around in the room and found the clothes from Udina, he went to them and searched through the pockets for anything useful. 

"Now what's this," Jase said as he had found the control. He hit the button for it, deactivating the chip. "Kaidan, keep that. I'll go into the ducts, get Doc out of there. Edi, have you found any other way to get to the doctor?"

Kaidan took the control from Jase and watched as Edi cocked her head as if in thought.

"There seems to be no other access that I can locate Shepard."

Kaidan closed his eyes and went back to taking care of his wife.

Jase rubbed his head, looking around in thought. "Anyone seen some rope somewhere...?" There was a second bed, smaller and it was further off in another corner. Jase went to it and stripped off the sheets and bound them together.

"That should do it. Edi, keep Saya and Kaidan safe, will you? I'm getting Doc Novak."

"Shepard.. Kasumi Goto is nearby could she not remain? I request to accompany you to find the Doctor."

"Alright," Jase shrugged a very little. The faster they had Doc here the better for Saya. He led the way to the duct. "Let's go Edi."

"You will not need those sheets, Shepard." Edi stated as they walked together.

"Mh," Jase just said as he turned to help her climbing up into it. "You sure about that?"

"Are you forgetting this body's capabilities?" As she climbed through the ducts.

Jase followed her and turned on his omni-tool as flashlight. "Well. Nothing against your body Edi, but it's female." Which was the best excuse he came up with.

"I do not understand why that classification seems to be an issue for what I am capable of.."

Jase was about to start saying that the male body is a lot more interesting to him, causing him to remember certain things better but then he thought, 'Ah hell, no. What the hell's wrong with me today? Keep it together, Shepard!' 

"Sorry Edi, I simply forgot about it," Jase confessed instead, crawling along in silence then.

"Indeed. We are nearly there Shepard. Doctor Novak? Can you hear me?"

Arlen had been humming softly to himself while sitting in the duct and waiting. He was torn between crawling back to the lab and getting up the long vertical duct himself to reach his Captain, but one fall had been enough.

"Edi?" Came the soft but surprised reply from below. "I'm down here. Be careful please? It's a bit high and I can't heal synthetic bodies if you fall into it too."

"Do not concern yourself Arlen, I will be careful." Edi slowly began crawling down the duct that contained her Doctor.

Jase leaned over the duct, giving Edi some light.

Arlen got onto his feet and stood in the narrow duct, shielding his eyes with the good hand to watch Edi coming down. "This is incredible Edi, I wasn't aware you were able to climb ducts like this."

"I am certain you will find that this body contains many surprises." Edi responded, unaware that her comment was a flirt.

Jase rested his head on his right arm and suppressed a slight amused snort. 'I'm sure it does,' he thought.

Arlen just blushed a little and nodded somewhat. 

"Aah, uhm, well. This body is you Edi and it's synthetic with some human parts in it left so it would be.. uh.. logical that it should be able to handle more than an organic body can handle. I mean, I fell down and hurt my wrist...," Arlen reached up and scratched his head in thought. "Ouch!" Arlen winced and looked at her then when she stood in front of him. "Hello Edi."

"It is good to see you again Doctor. I have missed your presence on the Normandy. Please, climb onto my back if you can. Our Captain is in urgent need of your services."

"I have missed your presence too Edi. I'm not too heavy for you? Captain Shepard is hurt again? I know I shouldn't have left her alone." Arlen tried to climb onto her back and wasn't sure at all if she could handle this.

"I'm not hurting you, am I?"

Jase just thought how sweet and nearly rolled his eyes. 

"Hey you two lovebirds, stop gushing over each other. There's no time for this. We got work waiting for you Doc. Captain got...," Jase paused and swallowed again. He couldn't even say it right now and continued with a softer voice. "Doc. Udina, the man in the shades, he forced himself onto her. She needs your help Arlen."

There was a moment of silence before Arlen said something. "Oh god... of course, of course I'll help. Oh god.. I shouldn't have left her alone. How.. bad is it?"

"There's blood Doc. Commander Alenko's with her. And don't waste any time looking at Udina's body. He won't come back from the dead. He's as dead as he can be."

"Edi," Arlen whispered, "I might need your help. I've stored my bag away in the duct leading to the room. I need it."

"I will indeed get it for you Doctor after I get you to the Captain so you may make a cursory examination." Edi responded after getting him up the vertical shaft. 

"Thank you Edi," Arlen said quietly and followed Jase through the duct. Once he had left the duct Arlen felt glad to be finally out of it.

"Commander Shepard, I ask you to please leave this room now. The Captain needs privacy."

"Sure Doc. Kaidan, if you need me...," Jase just said, there was no need to say anything else and then he went outside, guarding the door.

Arlen took a deep breath and began to take a good look at his Captain with sad eyes. "Oh, the control chip is inactive. Good.. good."

"I uh... I tried to stop the bleeding Arlen.. it.. it's bad... I've gone through a few cloths already. I don't know what else to do..." Kaidan said, emotional pain in his voice.

Arlen nodded and got rid of his amor gloves. "Captain? I'll have to touch you, I'll be careful but my hands might feel cool," Arlen warned her. "I'm doing this to help you. There's some... tearing and I need to .. stop it."

There was a thud behind him and Arlen turned around. "Oh. Edi, thank you for bringing my bag." Arlen opened it and got out what he needed, gloves, medi-gel and a few other things. Everything to patch her up quick and get her onto the Normandy.

"Now Captain, I'll touch you."

Arlen watched her face and the Commander's when he touched her and then set to work while explaining to her what he was doing.

"Commander? I need to get her to the Normandy."

Kaidan closed his eyes and nodded a little.

"Doctor... How bad is it really?"

"I'm doing everything I can under these circumstances." Arlen then looked at him. "It's dirty down here Commander and it's a place of pure cruelty. The people here are... the batarians.. those slavers, sir. They are nothing but bastards. The Captain needs a familiar ... area.. where she can feel safe. And silence and.. sleep, rest. Where I can help her without fearing of being discovered. Forgive me, sir, if I'm not making much sense with this. I also would like to request some blinds for the windows of the med bay. People should not peer inside a medical room. Your wife is ready for transport." Arlen said and quietly added, "Sir." And to top it off, he needed to take care of his own wrist.

Kaidan nodded silently.

"Should I carry her?"

"I would actually prefer having her carried on a stretcher sir, but there is none to be had. Please, if you could, yes."

Jase was waiting outside and turned around when the door opened. "I'll come with you to the shuttle, keep anyone away who threatens us." Jase nodded at Kaidan, while walking with Doc and Edi. Then he hit his comm, "Kasumi, Jack, I want both of you staying down here, if anything else comes up, update me. I'm bringing the Captain to the Normandy."

"Heads up Shep that Batarian who thinks he still owns her is heading your way. Jack tried to stop him but he wasn't interested." Kasumi responded.

"Got it," Jase said and eyed the way up ahead.

Arlen fumbled around with his bag, gritting his teeth. An interruption by the batarian Captain was not doing anything good to his patient.

"I will get this Commander." Arlen simply said, having finally gotten out what he needed. "Edi, please take the bag for a minute, I'll be... right back." And then he disappeared.

"Arlen? What you doing?" Jase asked, trying to spot him. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"I'm taking care of a problem Commander." Came the reply from ahead, which was exactly what the Captain and Commanders were doing all the time. Taking care of a problem. The batarian was a problem now and he didn't need any more hold ups from bad people. 

Arlen was sneaking closer, moving carefully towards the hatred alien. He was close to actually poison him and put him really to sleep, but he'd leave that kind of payback for the Commanders or the Captain herself. A good dose of good old sleep would do it. Arlen grinned to himself when he felt the injection taking place and the slaver started to yawn, as usual. Yawned even more, muttering something. Arlen wanted to chuckle but made no sound as he slowly backed off, watching how he began to stumble and changed directions towards his quarters. Arlen followed him now and once the hated alien was inside, he locked the door with a new code.

"Done," he announced when he rejoined with the little group, startling them a little because he was still cloaked. It felt so much better, not being seen by all these batarian rooks and slavers and criminals.

Jase startled a little bit but nodded. "Thanks, was looking forward to taking him down though."

"I would suggest leaving this up to the Captain herself or to her husband," Arlen said and sniffed a little, maybe he was getting a cold now too. "Sir."

"Uh-huh, got it Doc." Jase squinted at the place where their Doctor was supposed to be, hardly seeing him. "You like sneaking around huh. You're as bad as Kasumi."

"I don't like batarian slavers. I don't like them looking at me, sir." Came the soft reply and then he said nothing else.

Kaidan shook his head a bit then looked startled when Saya groaned in his arms.

"Doc, she's coming to... Is there anything you can do? Her implants tend to counteract some sedatives."

Arlen knew that if she was coming to she'd be in a lot of pain while getting onto the Normandy. With a sigh he had no other choice but to give her one more for the transport.

Kaidan watched and looked somewhat relieved when she sighed into a deeper sleep. He glanced at Jase as they reached the shuttle.

"Tell me you will find out what the hell is going on here and why they wanted her so badly."

Jase nodded, "They used her to get through to me. And we need to stop them dragging over more Reapers. If they have the means to bring them over.. They need to use it for survivors." A part of him told him it was because Saya was a Shepard too.

"Be careful okay? Do you want Edi to stay down here with you or can she come with us?"

Jase first nodded then shook his head no. "I'm coming with you to the Normandy. I need to take another look at Udina's files, talk to the Admiral." And he needed to have a quick break and see Jeff, but Jase didn't say this.

"I'll take Jack and Kasumi with me. Edi can give you a hand on the Normandy."

"Understood." Kaiden responded while he gently placed Saya onto the one row of seats and carefully strapped her in under Arlen's watchful gaze.

Jase went into the cockpit and got the shuttle going back to the Normandy. On the fly he was already thinking of the files and Saya and what she would need after she woke up. He was a bit distracted and just gave Kaidan a grunt of a yes as the Doctor and Kaidan took his alter ego to the med-bay. When Sophie walked past him there was no urge to play with her at all, instead he went to take a quick shower, got changed and went to the cockpit.

"Jeff."

"Jase?" Joker swivelled the chair around and looked at him. "What's wrong? You look like hell."

Jase just shook his head and went to him, knelt down and rested his head on his legs. "Can't talk about it. Not yet. Saya's in med-bay... Udina's dead. Have to talk to Anderson next."

Joker gently stroked Jase's head.

"Is she okay? And don't worry we'll talk about whatever you want whenever you want."

"I don't know Jeff. After what happened down there, I don't think she is." Jase sighed heavily and got up slowly. "Work's waiting. Should get back to it," that caused a weird laugh then. "Considering I'm not even getting paid for this by the Alliance... I'll keep you updated, okay?" Jase leaned closer once more, resting his cheek on Jeff's. "Just needed to see you."

"Be careful okay?" Joker shifted his head to give Jase a small peck on his cheek. "There's more where that came from if you come back to me tonight..."

"I'll be back, I promise." That small peck cause Jase to grin and his eyes held a small twinkle as he stood up and left then. Back to work. Files. Results to present them to Anderson. Facility. Jeff.  
  


Arlen had been working nonstop on his Captain since they had been back on the Normandy. The jaw had been fixed, the rips treated as best as possible, the cuts, bites and bruises had been cleaned. The worst was the damage in the lower area. It had taken him a while to fix the tearing and get it back together. Arlen had been as gentle as possible despite having Saya sedated. By now he was terribly glad he had taken so many precautions with updating her shots and added a few more against anything possible and also putting her onto birth control.

"Commander Alenko? Your wife is resting now, sir." 

Coming over to Arlen, Kaidan moved his eyes to Saya still form.

"How long will she have the bruises... the.. the reminders..?"

"They'll remain for a few days, I have done what I can to tend them. The tearing will be painful, the area is very tender and sensible to touch. I also advice against any intercourse in the next couple of days...." Arlen told him, face showing that he was worrying too. "Uhm, you might, for later, I don't know sir, you might want to consider consulting a therapist. Well, the Captain might want to consider it and I know a few people who could help her. Or anyone involved, in this matter." 

Kaidan returned his eyes to their doctor.

"How about we ask her what she wants when she wakes up? I mean, they gave her no choice... none... they kept her a prisoner in her own body..."

Arlen nodded. "Of course sir, she needs to be willing to go and see one herself. If she ever mentions it, I can help. As for.. the chip in her head. I have removed it sir. She's free and able to make her own decisions once again." As for the chip and having no control, Arlen knew this only too well himself.

Arlen watched him for a few seconds before he spoke up again. "Sir. Even if your wife doesn't want to consult a therapist... those who have witnessed such traumatic events, especially to a close and beloved person.. What I'm trying to say is, if you need someone to talk, I can.. give you a few names."

Shaking his head Kaidan pulled a chair over and sat next to Saya's bedside.

"She and I talk to each other Arlen, we're each other's therapist. But thanks."

"I understand, sir. If you need me, I am... getting a shower sir." Arlen nodded to himself again and left his own refuge to get a much needed quick shower. And hopefully the Commander was right and them talking to each other was enough, but from his own experience he knew it might not be enough.  
  


Saya felt like her mind was coming out of a dense fog. She slowly opened her eyes, trying to figure out where she was. The smell wasn't right for Udina's rooms. It was too... sterile. The med bay. She was on the Normandy. Saya let out a small whimper of relief when she realized this.

Kaidan leaned even more forward, one hand carefully resting on hers. "Saya?" He whispered, "You're safe, we brought you home."

Irimsaya flinched a bit at the contact but forced herself to keep her hand still under his.

"K...Kaidan?" She winced when she heard how weak her voice sounded.

"Yes," he said softly, moving his hand from overs under her hand, gently caressing her fingertips instead. "Yes Saya. I'm here."

"Udina?" She closed her eyes as she asked, nearly afraid of the answer.

"Dead. Jase killed him, Saya. He can't hurt you anymore."

A slight smile hinted at the corners of her mouth.

"Good... bastard deserved worse though."

"Yes, he did. Jase emptied the first complete round of his magazine into his head. The first bullet had your name on it." Kaidan smiled a very little.

"Mmmm sweet of him..." She moved a little on the bed, hurting a little.

Kaidan nodded, figuring she would like that. "Is there anything I can do to make you feel any more comfortable and better? I'm glad to have you back on the Normandy and in safety."

Saya slowly, and with a wince, moved her hand up to his face and stroked his cheek gently.

"You should be resting... you look awful..."

Kaidan leaned into the touch and closed his eyes. "I will rest here, at your side. Where I belong."

"You can't... you need to lie down.. preferably before you fall out of that chair. Until I'm back on my feet you're in command..."

"Mmh..," Kaidan nodded a little. "Med-bay has enough beds I will just take the one next to you. Jase has everything covered so far. He.. well, he suddenly seemed like his old self and just took charge." Kaidan grinned a little bit, eyes still closed and he had laid his hand onto hers.

Saya shook her head a bit and winced in pain realizing she really shouldn't have done that motion.

"He doesn't have a rank right now Kaidan. If we get in trouble..."

"Okay, yes you're right of course. He wanted to talk to Anderson, I guess I should be there then and talk to Anderson instead." Kaidan sighed. "Should I get you Doctor Novak?"

"Actually I have something else in mind..." Saya said softly. "When Jase is done with Anderson... can you comms the Admiral and ask him to reinstate Jase's rank and privileges? My brother deserves some compensation for all he's done." She knew her voice was betraying her tiredness and her pain but she couldn't disguise it any longer.

Kaidan nodded, "Aye aye Captain." He just hoped Jase wouldn't mind that. "How about I get an hour of sleep here right next to you, keep you some company. I don't want to leave you alone, unless.. you want some time to yourself," Kaidan said, he didn't know what to do now at all or how to behave, tried to keep it normal as possible but what if she wanted to be alone and not have any male presence close by?

"But, before that, I should let the Doctor know you're awake and need something against the pain you're in," Kaidan whispered.

Saya tried to control the panic she felt as he started to move away from her bedside.

"Wait!! I... I changed my mind. I don't want to be alone..." This time the quiver in her voice was from fear.

"Uh, okay. Okay, I'll stay here. Then, let me comm him and or better yet, I will just send him a message." Kaidan said and brought the omni-tool up, knowing the Doc was having a shower and he sent him the needed message. He felt totally off and different too. Like being awake in a nightmare. Kaidan knew he wouldn't wake up from this at all, though.

"Saya? Can I.. just hold you for a little while?" Kaidan asked, nearly too afraid to even voice it.

"Kaidan..." She closed her eyes for a second then nodded. "I think I'd like that."

Kaidan sighed softly, even relieved for the moment and bent down, carefully lifting her into his arms and closed his eyes, not wanting her to see the unshed tears.

Saya sighed softly, feeling secure in his arms.

"I'm glad you came to get me when you did."

"Yes, I only wish we could have been there sooner," Kaidan said while carefully caressing her where he could. "I'm also very glad you didn't fight us Saya."

"I couldn't - he didn't order me to. I had no control at all with that new chip Kaidan. None..."

"Then I'm glad he didn't order you to," Kaidan nodded, "really glad. I love you Saya, this will never change." Even knowing she had no control over herself at all and no say in what was going on, Kaidan knew it wasn't going to make any difference in how he felt about his wife. They would work through this, slowly, but he didn't know how. There was just some guessing on how bumpy the road would be.

"I don't know Saya, did it make a change having the Doctor down there with you?"

"He came to me when he could but after Udina bought me... I didn't see him after that. I... I didn't think I'd see any of you again."

"I'm glad we proved this fear wrong," Kaidan kissed her head now carefully. 

The door opened and Arlen walked in. "Captain? I'm really glad to see you awake ma'am." He walked up to her bed and checked her over, just to reassure himself that she was indeed alright.

"How are you... feeling?"

"Arlen... I uhm I burn inside.." She blushed in embarrassment.

Arlen nodded, not saying 'oh' or something. He wanted to say she didn't need to feel embarrassed. 

"I have something which can help you. I'm sorry, I didn't think it would burn ma'am, or I would have applied it right away," he apologized and got some gloves. The bitten off fingernails were painfully visible now and he hurried to get them covered. "Are you comfortable with me touching you? I would have to."

Irimsaya bit her lip hard enough to make it bleed then nodded a little bit.

"Okay... but I want Kaidan to stay... if.. if that's okay?"

"Of course, your husband can stay ma'am." There was no way in hell that he'd try and get him out. Arlen gave her an encouraging smile and got to work. Every second felt long enough, he knew, and he was working swift and efficient. 

"I can also instruct your husband for any further application."

But Irimsaya wasn't listening, she was crying silently, glad that Kaidan was watching Arlen and not her.

"I think that might be a good idea Doctor, Arlen. If you agree with this Saya?" Kaidan turned to look at her.

Arlen looked at his Captain and knew what was going on. "I will just give you.. some privacy," he excused himself and went to his desk before he left the med-bay and walked past a crewman who asked him about something he didn't even really hear. "Just leave me alone!" He snapped and apologized right away, taking care of the man's problem.

"Saya?" Kaidan whispered.

Saya wiped her eyes with a very badly shaking hand.

"I...I uh... I'm fine... sorry.. it's just.. it's hard to have someone who's not you... there..."

Kaidan nodded slowly as he understood and reached out to his wife to caress her cheek gently. "I can do it the next time, Arlen suggested it."

Saya closed her eyes at his gentle touch on her face.

"Thank you Kaidan..." Her voice was soft and thick with emotion. "You... you should get that rest..."

"Okay, but I won't leave you alone, there's a free bed and I'll just rest there."

"Love you Kaidan.." Saya said softly as she slowly drifted back into a restless sleep.

Kaidan wasn't going to leave her alone but also wanted to listen to her 'orders'. There was a bed and he laid down, trying to get some sleep. But sleep wouldn't come as the thoughts and worries were running wild in his head. Somehow he missed it when the doctor came back and only realized it when the man was checking over Saya for a few seconds. After this Kaidan drifted off to something that counted as a light sleep.  
  


Meanwhile Jase had been busy going through all those files and collected the facts he had needed for Anderson. The talk with the Admiral had been alright. Considering the man had been surprised to see him instead of Saya and had questioned him of their current doings. There were a lot of reports ready for Anderson, claiming Saya had written them and Jase sent them over, explaining the current situation, Udina and why he had appeared in this world.

"Sir, we need to stop them sending over Reaper forces. I want to convince them to send over any survivors they have. I need to know if the Alliance is willing to help me with this task."

Anderson rubbed his chin for a minute, watching this other Shepard thoughtfully.

"Let me get one thing clear first Mr. Shepard. Is your Captain out of commission or not?"

"She is currently in med-bay, sir." Jase told him, but didn't go into any detail why. 

"And Commander Alenko? Forgive me Shepard, I'm just trying to figure out why you're calling me and not one of the two people in charge of the Normandy."

"Is currently in med-bay too, sir, staying with his wife. I'm calling you because it concerns myself. The files I've been forwarding you are from Udina. Admiral, I'm calling you because I need your help sir. To help _my_ people. The Captain and the Commander should have done it, I agree, but this matter is more than important to me. It's about my past, my people and now this world is in danger once more. I need something I can offer, convince them to stop sending over Reapers and instead taking in survivors." Jase sighed a little, hating it when he had to talk that much and watched the Admiral. "And close the door between our two worlds for once and for all."

Anderson was nodding very slowly.

"I understand your position Shepard. You have the Alliance's support.... Commander."

"Thank you sir, I'll keep you updated. And thank you for.. reinstating me, Admiral."

"I'll make sure your pay is reinstated too. If you need *anything* please let me know. I'll advise the council as well - as far as I'm concerned your Spectre status is reinstated too."

Jase briefly wondered why it was that they always seemed to favour him over Saya. "Again, thank you sir. The council never took it officially away. I should get back to work Admiral." 

There was a small grin on is face, eyes watching the space the Admiral just been disappeared from. He hadn't considered that he would go back to being active ever but now, it felt good even. "Jeff, you can call me sir again. Kidding. Just got reinstated. I'm going back down in a bit." But before that, he wanted to go and see how Saya was doing.

"I'm sure Kaidan's just going to loooooove sharing the Commander spot with you." Jeff joked over the comms.

Jase chuckled softly over the comm. "He can have it all. There's the shelter back home too," he sighed softly, knowing he loved doing that too. "Got a message today from Jeremy, he aced the last math test and wrote I need to say hi to my Mr. Pilot."

Joker laughed.

"Well when you write him say hi back from me. I miss them... I miss the twins too..."

"As do I Jeff, we'll be back home soon... I'll bring us all home. I'll be at med-bay now. I need to see her before I go back down."

"Understood. Let me know how things are." Joker cut the comms and went back to monitoring the controls.ybr />  


Saya had just opened her eyes when Jase walked in.

Jase nodded at Arlen and walked to his sister, greeting her quietly when he saw Kaidan was still asleep. "Hey sis."

"Jase..." Saya whispered and smiled a bit. "Hey."

Jase nodded and carefully leaned down, placing a soft kiss onto her hair. "You were right, they're trying to get Reapers over here, they already do it below New Omega. Udina was working together with the batarian and reeled money in for the place. You did a hell of a job down there getting close to that bastard." 

There was so much more he wanted to tell her and inform her about, but right now this was enough. 

"Thank you, Saya. Thank you," he whispered. "I'm going back down, trying to bring some of my people over. But, how are you doing?"

She gently put her hand on the one Jase had on the bedside.

"I'm... Well... I'm okay when people are around me... Being alone is hard right now.."

Jase nodded, keeping his eyes on her. "You'll never be left alone again. I swear. Anyone wants to harm you, they'll have to get past Kaidan and me," he said a little bit more forceful. Then his voice became softer again. "I'm taking Kasumi and Jack with me. Edi can give Kaidan a hand here on the ship. He needs to stay here, at your side."

"What happens if you get sucked through back to the other side Jase? I can't risk that."

"I'm not going back there, ever," Jase shook his head. Which was surprising him, now that he had the actual chance to get back. Yet there was nothing but death and destruction waiting. There was something she had in mind though, apparently.

"My place is here. I'm planning on convincing them to bring over any survivors and what they deem important. We've suffered enough losses and could use the influx of new people and a few smart heads."

Saya looked relieved at his words and nodded slightly.

"Alright. But stay in contact with the ship okay?"

Jase snapped a sloppy salute at her and grinned. "Aye Captain. Got reinstated. Wish me luck."

"You did? I am so glad to hear that Jase. You deserve it..."

Jase laid his hand onto hers which was on his other one. 

"Saya, if it hadn't been for you right from the beginning... everything I have now is with thanks to you. You got me and Jeff together, you saved him. You did more for me than anyone else ever before." He sighed softly, wanting to say more but stopped, she was tired. "Thank _you_ , Captain.. Irimsaya.. Shepard."

Saya smiled a little bit at that.

"I would do it all again if I had to Jase."

'But not the last mission, I don't want you going through that again,' Jase thought as he just smiled at her for a while. He gently padded her hand before he left the med bay to get ready.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

"Edi, look that Arlen's taking care of his hand, he seems pretty occupied with something. Kaidan's in med-bay. Until he's awake, ship's yours and Jeff's. I'll be getting back down to New Omega shortly." Jase paused his steps for a few seconds while thinking Edi should be paid too. He didn't voice it though.

"Very well Commander. I will ensure everything is taken care of until Commander Alenko is awake. Is there anything you need before you disembark?"

"Aside of some extra spare ammo for the batarian Captain? Just luck Edi. And an open channel to the Normandy all the time. I also need Balak on this, we're in batarian space," Jase told her as he went down to the shuttle bay. He could talk to the alian there or in the shuttle.

"I have sent your request to Balak, Commander. I will also ensure that your communications are not interrupted. Are you sure that there is nothing else?"

"Edi," Jase stopped walking and looked kind of at the closest speaker. "If something's on your mind, say it."

"Are you sure my body should not go with you? What if you need any complex calculations done in a hurry?"

'Mmh,' Jase mused as she had a point. "What about giving Kaidan and Jeff a hand on the Normandy?" Jase inquired, wanting to know what her reaction would be.

"I am most able to perform both tasks simultaneously Shepard." Edi was surprised that she even had to point this out.

"I know," Jase drawled out, amused. "Suit up Edi."

"I do not require a suit, Shepard." Edi responded as she came up behind him.

Jase turned around, grinning at her a bit. "Come on Edi, you look good in that leather suit of yours. It's a shame **not** seeing it on you. Even I have to admit that."

"Very well Shepard. I will go and 'suit up'." Edi turned and went to her locker.

Jase grinned and went to talk to Balak, which took longer than he had anticipated, having to convince the alien at first to allow Alliance forces like transporters into the batarian space. Only when he mentioned there might be some batarian survivors among the people he wanted to get over, the batarian finally agreed.

"Having more batarian survivors could ensure the existence of our race," Balak said.

"Well," Jase began, looking serious, "for the sake of your people and race, I hope there are a few." Seeing a race going extinct wasn't something he liked to witness.

Balak nodded once again, looking something like thoughtful. "The rumours are true then, you're not from this world but from the other one. And now you are trying to..."

"Yes Balak," Jase interrupted him. "The rumours are true, no denying anymore. I'm exactly trying to do that, saving more people."

"Good luck, human." Balak said after a longer pause and then he was gone.

"Well, a batarian wishing me luck. Something new every day." Jase murmured to himself and got ready. 

Edi approached Jase cautiously.

"Is this better Commander? How did things go with that Batarian?"

"Looking good Edi," Jase said after having her eyed up and down. If Edi was a male in that outfit, well. "Balak's cooperating."

"That is good. I would hate to have to add him to my 'kill' list." Edi answered.

"Makes two of us Edi, though there was a time when I wanted to put a bullet into his head. Come on, let's go," Jase said and marched to their shuttle.

Edi walked beside him into the shuttle then sat near him.

"Shepard... I would appreciate some advice if you have time..."

"Of course Edi, we can talk in the shuttle." They'd have a few minutes then.

Edi nodded and strapped herself into the seat, waiting for him to be ready.

As the shuttle left the Normandy and they were on route, Jase looked at her. "Edi, what's on your mind?"

Edi cocked her head to one side as if trying to figure out how to phrase what she wanted to say.

"How would you suggest I tell Arlen that I am... interested... in him?"

Jase thought about that for a while and how he had done it. With Jeff it had been easy, only with Kaidan it took patience and gentle pushing, hints and flattery.

"Have you been flirting with him, dropping hints? Do you have anything in common you could talk about, interests, hobbies..."

"His musical skill fascinates me. I have tried dropping 'hints' as you call them but I am uncertain if my intent was clear."

"I wasn't aware Doc had musical skills. What kind of hints have you dropped Edi." There was always something new he learned about people. Apparently their good doctor had musical skills.

"I try to be around him whenever I can. We spoke of my previous relationship with Specialist Traynor. I asked him about his sex life..."

Jase looked at her, trying not to grin too much. This was going to be very interesting. "You asked him about his sex life? That's not very subtle Edi. How did he take it?"

"He became... flustered. But he seemed to appreciate the inquiry, As if he had been wanting to speak to someone about it."

Jase shrugged a little, everything was possible. "How about you spend some more time with him, try to find out what else he likes. Maybe reading books, or watching vids, playing Poker, that kind of thing. Search for his eyes, make contact and gauge his reaction. Smile a bit here and there. Touch him from time to time, shoulder for example. It's subtle but if people are interested they pick up on it. But Edi, you also need to find out if he's interested in females. Some people close down and feel uncomfortable discussing their sexuality."

"I... believe I understand. Thank you Shepard." Edi went silent as she processed the information.

"Edi, just be yourself. You like him a lot, don't you. You became very protective when you picked up on him being hurt."

"I am protective of all of my family Shepard." Edi replied cautiously.

Jase nodded, "So am I Edi. Kaidan and Saya are protective about the crew, too. But there's a difference between the person you love and the person who's part of the crew. Even if you don't show it, the difference is inside of us. We're hurting inside when our partner is suffering. When the Collectors attacked the Normandy and Jeff had been hurt, I was afraid of losing him. That he was hurt, hurt me. And I asked you to keep an eye on him."

"And I did so. I would not allow anything to happen to Joker. If I did then I would have to train another pilot."

"Thanks, I think. How's Jeff's replacement been working out so far for you?" Jase asked as the shuttle landed.

"I do not like him. He does not listen to me when I suggest things. Jeff always listens to me."

Jase nodded, taking note of that. "Shouldn't be like that, Edi." He would have to talk to Saya about this. "Well Edi, let's get going. The people in the lab will soon have a few visitors. Kasumi, Jack, we're going down," Jase radioed his friends. "After we paid the batarian Captain a visit."

Edi's eyes narrowed.

"May I interrogate him Shepard?"

Jase smirked at her. "You may, Edi."

"Thank you. Nobody lays a hand on my Captain. He will answer to me."

"No," Jase agreed softly, "nobody does."   
  


It was about half an hour later after they had marched in, had shut down the music and Jase had addressed the patrons to get the hell out of there if they valued their life. There was a bomb and he'd blow it up. Nobody knew the trigger in his hand wouldn't blow a bomb but the blinking was enough apparently. Jase grabbed the Captain once he was close and hurled him along towards one of the sofas where he threw him down. Jack and Kasumi were on each side, keeping him in place. Drawing his knife Jase stepped behind the batarian and held it against his throat.

"Advice. Be honest, or I'll make use of it."

Edi was approaching them, her eyes narrowed.

"You made me a promise Shepard."

"I'm just just giving you a hand," Jase nodded at her, giving his silent okay to go ahead. "Don't think you can fool her, scum." Jase warned the alien.

The knife on his throat was already digging into his skin and the two women on each side looked like they wouldn't hesitate to kill him and the batarian nodded a tiny bit.

"You will kill me anyway, human. Why should I answer your questions."

"Because, Batarian, I am not human. I know more ways to make you suffer than what you put our Captain through. I am the Normandy's AI and I do not appreciate my Captain being tortured and humiliated." Edi leaned down to him. "Especially by someone as odorous as you."

"You are a synthetic? You would have made a fine slave," he said, being the stupid man he was, "no food, no place needed to sleep." Now the wheels in his head were turning, synthetics like that one in front of him would make a good profit in the long run.

Jase just rolled his eyes and sniffed. "Don't think he got it Edi. It does stink here."

"Then allow me to demonstrate my meaning." Edi touched him and sent a surge of electricity through his body. "I know Cerberus interrogation techniques Batarian. Should I begin using them?"

The Captain yelped, shaking a bit and the knife dug deeper into his skin, cutting it now. "Cerberus? Udina's with Cerberus. He wouldn't allow it to someone like you to use it against me."

Jase looked at Edi, nothing like this had been mentioned in the files and their Cerberus was gone.

"I did not say I was still with Cerberus." Edi shocked him again. "You will tell us what is going on here and why you wanted my Captain to suffer so badly. And I suggest you do so in haste before I will lose my temper. Have you ever seen an angry AI before, Batarian?"

Another yelp mixed with a grunt was the first part of the answer. "Cerberus," he panted, "Udina.. they approached me. I was seeking revenge for the Bahak system! My brother interfered with my plans, forbade me to get the revenge our people deserved! Shepard killed more than 300.000 batarians and she was not brought to justice!"

Edi studied him for a moment then looked at Jase.

"He speaks the truth according to my scans if his body."

Jase nodded, now he was glad to have Edi around. "Go on," Jase punched the shoulder of the alien. "There's more."

"Shepard deserves death. I will say no more!" the Captain began cursing.

Edi watched him for a moment.

"There is another plan isn't there. You have someone on the Normandy... someone to kill her..."

"There is no one." The batarian snorted, of course he could tell that since it hadn't been working apparently. "The poison failed." 

Edi actually looked angry and she grabbed the Batarian.

"Give me one reason not to snap your neck right here and now."

Jase raised his eyebrows, Edi certainly had learned a lot from them. "I don't know about you, but when she's like this, you should listen to her." Jase whispered into his ear.

"There is no one! The poison was supposed to work. The Dalatrass fooled me!"

"And there is our answer. Thank you for being so cooperative." Edi smiled and stood straight, looking at Jase. "I do not believe the Dalatrass will give up so easily. I have put the Normandy on security alert and erected security fields around the medbay."

Jase nodded at her. "Good work Edi." But he had a question himself. "Why was the Dalatrass willing to help you."

"Revenge. For the one who cured the genophage. A poison created for _you_. And you are still alive."

"Too bad." Jase said and knocked him out. "Edi, they might not be interested in the Captain. The dalatrass is more interested in me if this is true."

"I will not take any chances with my Captain's safety - or yours. But the poison was only designed to be tested on you. It was meant for her."

"And they nearly succeeded if it hadn't been for Doc. Let's lock this scumbag away, I'm sure there are a few more people wanting an answer."

"Indeed Shepard. He has much to account for." Edi stepped out of Jase's way. "Then I might suggest we head to the lower levels and attempt to stop this next invasion."

Jase nodded at this and grinned a little at Jack. "Jack, keep an eye on him. If he wakes up, knock him out again. Kasumi, you're with us."

"Shepard, this is boring bullshit!" Jack protested.

"No, it's not. You won't take crap from him," Jase said, staring at her and into her eyes. Which she held for a long time until she looked away. "If I die of boredom, it'll be your fault."

Jase just shook his head with a small grin and led the way. "Udina and Cerberus, why doesn't this surprise me," Jase said softly as they were entering the lower levels.

"Let me go ahead Shep, I might be able to get the jump on some of them for you." Kasumi said then cloaked and ran off.

"Is she always like that Shepard?" Edi asked.

"Kasumi.... be careful." Jase nodded quietly at Edi. "Yeah, she is Edi. Maybe _this_ Cerberus is actually open to my suggestions and starting it off with someone dying isn't a good idea."

"I do not believe Cerberus in any reality would be any different from that of our own. Do not ask questions Shepard, just shoot."

Jase stopped walking and looked at her. Too late, he was already thinking now. 

"Edi... these are my people.. even if they're with Cerberus." He paused and rubbed his face, "Jesus, I didn't expect becoming conflicted about this."

"Cerberus are not your people. Anyone outside of Cerberus is. Do you doubt that if you had stayed there, if you had died like our Captain did - that they would not have done the same thing to you as they did to her?"

Having him being brought back into life or not? Not a question he ever wanted to find out. Jase sighed heavily and nodded eventually. "You're right. They'd have done the same. Not all of them might be bad though Edi, like the scientists we rescued. Miranda, Kelly, Jacob."

"We will see. I am not, as you would say, optimistic about this."

"I trust your judgement Edi," Jase told her, sighing again. Now he knew he was really conflicted and not really able to see something as straight as he was supposed to be. "I need you to lead this. Right now I'm not able to make the right calls and decisions as I should."

"I am uncertain if that is wise Shepard... What if *I* make the wrong call...?"

"Why would you, Edi? You're a logical person and I trust you. We all do." If she could live on another ship, he was sure she would be able to become a Captain too.

"Very well Shepard. I will do my best for you." Edi led the way to the chamber.

"We're in this together Edi," he whispered to her. "Together we're stronger."  
  


By far, they were really Cerberus judging by the guards lying on the floor. It still pained him though to see another two lives gone. "Good job Kasumi, you got that door and cameras hacked?"

"Please don't tell me you doubted that I would Shep." Kasumi's voice came back to him. "I mean come on - this is me!"

Jase grinned a little. "You're the best Kasumi. Alright people. Stand ready," Jase said and opened the door. And barely anyone was paying them any attention, everyone scurrying around busily. There was a countdown being announced and suddenly he saw the way too familiar light and Reaper forces coming through.

Kasumi swore and stuck as close to the wall as she could, not believing her eyes.

Edi looked at everything, analyzing each piece of machinery in seconds.

"Shepard. I believe we can close this portal and re-open it at a later time. But I will require someone to watch my back while I do so - if this is what you want."

Jase nodded, "Do it Edi, but I need this portal functioning."

"It will function Shepard. But I will need extra time." She moved to one of the controls, throwing the tech that was there away from it, and got to work.

"Got it Edi." Jase said and stood point, watching the scientists working. It took them some time until they realized someone was there. Someone who apparently didn't belong into the labs.

"Don't even think about it," Jase warned as a guard drew his weapon.

Kasumi moved swiftly and silently and the guard dropped to the floor, seemingly without anything or anyone touching him. She moved back to the wall, stifling a snicker.

Jase nodded and went to move him out of sight. No one else, if lucky, should interrupt them while Edi was working.

Not too long after Edi began her work, the portal closed.

"It is done Shepard."

"Good work Edi," Jase said, and now they really had the attention of everyone.

Edi stepped in front of her Commander.

"I do not know what lies you were told when you came here. Why you think you are here. But I will tell you that what you are doing will doom our universe. It will bring the Reapers to us - they will extinguish all life. Do you really wish for that to happen??"

"But they are killing us!" A woman spoke up. "They have killed so many people, there are barely any of us left!"

Jase wanted to say something but he trusted Edi, knowing she would tell them if she felt the time was right.

"With this method we are keeping the last area as secure as we can," one man said. "If we don't clean the needed area, no one else can join the cryo stasis pods."

"What cryo stasis pods are you talking about? There are none here. What you are doing is wrong."

"We are conserving people, in our world." he simply said.

Jase now stepped forward. "You won't have to if you'd send them over here instead."

"Commander Shepard is correct. You could consider this galaxy a safe haven for your people."

"She's right, this galaxy is safe. The Reapers have been defeated." Jase said, watching the group of them.

"Commander Shepard?" The woman asked and looked into her group before talking to him again. "Are you _the_ Commander Shepard?"

"What do you mean with _the_ Commander Shepard?" Jase eyed them, wondering if they really meant him.

"The Commander who had been set up to be sent into this reality."

"Yes," Jase said softly, "this would be me. I freed this reality from the Reaper threat." He explained, watching their faces and wondered if it was really sinking in what this actually meant.

Someone stepped forward from the back row of people.

"Commander... I was asked to give you something if you had indeed survived your voyage and time here..."

A young woman who could only be in her 20's stepped forward, her long black hair tied back in a braid and her blue eyes gazing into his. She was slim and only came up to Jase's shoulder. In her hand she held some dog tags.

"These are.... they're from Captain Alenko, sir."

Jase looked at her and saw she was indeed a beautiful woman. The tags were placed into his hand and he studied them for what seemed like an eternity. They were Kaidan's. "Thank you," he whispered. If Kaidan had made it to Captain.. 

"How did you get them?" For a moment he was just glad being able to say something. Jase took them and placed them around his own neck, keenly aware of all those eyes. Everyone was watching him.

"He gave them to me before I came through sir. But that was awhile ago. He wanted you to know that he has been trying to find you since your disappearance. He never gave up hope... Sir I'm so sorry... He was killed protecting me as I came through." She had tears in her eyes.

The gloved thumb was absentmindedly caressing the dog-tags on his neck. While doing this Jase kept looking into her eyes. The silence stretched on, he knew if he said something now he'd begin to cry. Instead he waited until he had his emotions back under control as good as he could. He had so many questions, like did it mean Kaidan had survived the Reaper attack at the Citadel? When did he die, since when were they here. Was anyone else left he knew? What was her name, how long had she known Kaidan? But those questions were all of personal nature and wouldn't benefit their people. Those who were left desperately needed help.

"Can we talk more later? I have so many questions, Miss...? We need to bring our people into this world. Save them."

"Elaine Gemla, sir. My maiden name was Alenko. Kaidan was my brother."

Jase felt like someone was pulling his legs out from under him. Kaidan had never spoken about her. "Mrs. Gemla. Elaine, that's... a nice name."

"Thank you." She said softly. "I... I'm glad you're still alive sir. Kaidan... he.. he loved you so much." Her voice was breaking. "Is it true that he's in this universe too?"

Jase nodded slowly and rubbed his eyes as her words echoed in his mind. "It's Jase, Elaine. Kaidan's my.. brother-in-law. You have a nephew and a niece." He took a shaky breathe to collect himself and looked at her again. "Elaine, we need to get our people into this world. The Alliance is just waiting on my word. Anyone who's left of any race is welcomed to live here. In peace."

Elaine's eyes filled with tears.

"I have a niece and nephew?? And Kaidan's alive?? He... my, our, Kaidan... he tried to take over your duties. He tried so hard. But it wasn't enough. He wanted to save as many lives as he could. So yes, Jase, yes let's get them here. Let's fulfill Kaidan's last wish."

Jase nodded once again, he'd tell her later all about Saya's Kaidan and ask her about herself. "Elaine, I need to... Well. Udina is dead."

"Good. He's the bastard who killed Kaidan." Elaine said, fire in her eyes.

For one day and having all these things happen in just the few hours a day had, Jase took that in once again and nodded silently before saying anything. He should let Edi take over for sure, he should go someplace silent and have time to think and put all those thoughts into order. He should go to Jeff and just listen to his voice. He should do so many things.

"A bullet had his name on it," Jase told her and for now this was enough. The man had committed too many cruel crimes. "With Udina dead, you're the leader of this project? And Cerberus? How many survivors are we talking about. I'm sorry, it's a lot of questions." And he was off balance, but he wouldn't tell them that.

"Actually I'm not. I was the Normandy's pilot and Udina thought we might need one here." Elaine tried to explain. "I didn't find out until we were here that Donnel worked for Cerberus."

Jase held up his hand. If she kept up feeding him so many informations about their world he wouldn't get any work done as the stress levels just kept rising.

"I'm sorry. I saw your Normandy getting destroyed when the Reapers invaded your galaxy using the Citadel's relay. That must have happened three years ago. I saw this ... on Thessia when.. connecting to the beacon. Udina thought he could use a pilot here? Who's leading this project now?"

"Um..." She looked around and sighed. "I guess I am with Donnel gone."

Jase sighed softly in relief. "Alright. Elaine, give me a few numbers. How many are in cryo stasis, how many more can be brought over."

"I think in cryo stasis we have about 100 so far. As for how many can be brought over... well that number is surprisingly much higher."

Jase nodded, figuring this was good news. More or less. "What's the number, Elaine? Thousands, a hundred thousand?" 

"To be honest? No one ever really told me - they just said a lot more survived than anyone believed possible."

"Up until now Elaine, the Reapers won't stop until they have harvested the last living being they deem worthy for ascension. Edi, see if you can find out anything on their terminals. Anderson wants numbers."

"I will begin searching immediately Shepard." Edi moved to the consoles and began her work.

"So... Jase... tell me about the Kaidan here... what's he like?" Elaine found herself craving the information, hoping to see her brother alive again.

Jase took her aside and leaned onto a free wall, watching her before he began. They should prepare everything and not talk, but he knew how she felt.

"He's a lot like our Kaidan. Headaches, caring, loyal, smart. Tends to overthink. Kaidan here's been growing a garden back home. His wife is my alter ego."

Elaine smiled a little bit.

"Kaidan always did like growing and nurturing things."

"He never mentioned you, he never grew plants when I was with him." Jase said.

"Kaidan hid me from a lot of people but he was the best brother a girl could ask for. Protective, caring, good sense of humour... then Eden Prime happened and he became a different man... withdrawn, alone, angry..."

"Sad and heartbroken," Jase continued softly for her after a while. "How long have you been here?"

"I was one of the first ones through with Donnel. He... he killed Kaidan in front of me while Kaidan was just trying to make sure I got through okay. Udina seemed to think Kaidan was a risk to the project."

"Elaine... when did he die?"

"A few weeks ago." Elaine said, not knowing Kaidan's death coincided with the last vision Jase had.

"Ah....," Jase blinked at her. Not years ago as he had often thought. Not last year either, not this year while fighting the Reapers. No. Thessia. "I...," Jase started and scratched his head, feeling lightheaded now.

"Are you okay? You've gone very pale... maybe you should sit down somewhere..."

Work. He needed to get this work done and with Elaine giving him more and more details he wouldn't be able to finish it. Jase went to the closest chair and sat down.

"Elaine, I'm sorry. We need to stop talking about this. I've been reading Udina's files only today. Found out it wasn't an accident. I need to ... finish this ... mission. And get our people over here. That's the priority."

Elaine nodded and gently gave him a hug.

"Whatever you need Jase. Whatever you need."

Jase stiffened a little when she hugged him. "Sorry," he said right away. "Not used hugging unknown women." He got up then again and added softly, "You know me a lot better than I know you, Elaine. Do we have to expect any resistance against our plan?"

"There's always resistance to any kind of plan Jase. Always those who believe the universe and events should stay the way they unfolded. I just don't know what to tell you to expect other than that."

Jase just looked at her, kind of dumbfounded. A yes or no would have been good enough too. He shrugged. "I take it there will be resistance. Edi? Anything on the numbers?"

"Allow me to phrase it simply, Shepard. The number, considering the circumstances, is extremely high. There are more survivors than I believe you thought possible."

"So we're talking millions then? Do we have any more facilities like this one here Elaine?"

"We...we don't have any other facilities Jase. Just here." Elaine responded.

"Alright. Thanks. How many individuals can you bring through in one.. ride. How often can you open a.. channel?"

"Possibly 50 at a time. We will have to let it cool down each cycle for approximately 30 minutes." Edi responded.

"Impressive. Makes 2400 people per day. And 72.000 in 30 days." Jase sighed. "Well. Better than nothing." Jase looked at Elaine. "Let's get this started. Is it possible to send messages? Or vids?"

Elaine bit her lip.

"I honestly don't know sir... Jase... I'm not really a tech expert... we'd need to get Hilary Moreau through."

"Second Elaine," Jase interrupted her. "Did you say Hilary Moreau? Related to Jeff 'Joker' Moreau?"

Elaine nodded.

"Yes she's his sister. And damned smart too."

"Jeff died, correct. I saw him dying when I was connected to the beacon on Thessia a few weeks ago." He could see the surprise in her eyes. "Yes, Thessia is intact, it survived the war Elaine. As did Earth, Palaven, Surkesh... Tuchanka. Rhannoch. The Geth and the Quarians made peace."

Elaine just stared at him in shock.

"Would it have been the same for us if you had stayed?"

"Yes. " Jase closed his eyes briefly and nodded. "Make a list of the first people you need over here. You want people you can trust. We don't want to tear any more families apart. It's not about people their rank or importance, but survival. You have 49 spots left. Hilary Moreau is one we need."

"Admiral Hackett is another that should come in the first wave. He's on the Council." Elaine stated.

"Hackett's on the Council? Bring him over Elaine, I trust you with this." Jase turned to look at Edi. "Edi, get the... thing... or whatever these people here call it, back online. Do it Elaine, as fast as possible." Jase told her. He had a lot of calls to make, now that he had some results and an idea about the basics.

Both Elaine and Edi got to work. Edi's hands flying across consoles and Elaine writing down messages.

Jase walked over to a more secluded area where he could talk privately. Before he called up Jeff or anyone else he began talking with Admiral Anderson, informing him of what he had learned.

"Admiral, I suggest bringing in fleets to transport the survivors. I also suggest setting up embassies of the races in New Omega directly as we'll also run into double identities. We're looking at a daily influx of about 2400 people, more or less. Edi believes there are many to bring over. She didn't say a number. If I have to guess, I'd talk about a million, sir."

"Understood Shepard." Anderson was silent for a few minutes. "Transports will be en route within the hour. Good work son."

"Thank you Admiral." Which would mean they were were arriving in the next 24 hours. Jase sighed and rubbed his face. Kaidan was next.

"Kaidan, how's Saya?"

Kaidan rubbed his eyes as he sat up, looking at his wife who was still sleeping then he walked over to the comms terminal in the med bay.

"Hey Jase. She's still sleeping - how are things going down there? And can you please tell me why there's a security field around the med bay all of a sudden?"

"Edi thinks there might be someone who wants to kill Saya. I'm not sure myself. Let's keep it intact though. It's been a crazy hour down here. We're bringing over the first 50 survivors in the next hour and Anderson's sending in transport fleets, taking care of the rest. Kaidan, there's someone down here. Her name's Elaine Gemla, maidan name is Alenko."

Kaidan sat down heavily in the nearest chair in shock.

"Elaine?" His voice was a shocked whisper. "That's impossible..."

"Yeah. She's here Kaidan. A beauty too. Just like her brother...was." Jase smiled a little bit.

Kaidan was in shock. He had never even dreamed of seeing his long dead sibling again. His shock ran so deep that he did not even notice that Saya had come over silently and had her hand on his shoulder.

" Jase it's Saya..." Her voice still weak. "I don't know what you just said but I think Kaidan's in shock. Anything I can help with?"

"You get better sis," Jase told her and sighed softly. "Ran into someone Kaidan must have known a long time ago. He's got a sister. Name's Elaine and she's down here, alive."

Saya was leaning hard on the back of the chair Kaidan was sitting in.

"Jase... his sister died when they were children..." She was struggling to keep her eyes open.

"Didn't know that Saya," Jase answered her quietly. "Do me a favour, will you? Please, take it easy and get more rest. Was good hearing your voice though."

"Mmh... I'd rest except my XO seems to be in some kind of deep shock. He's just staring at the desk and not moving..."

"Damn. Saya, if ... things were different I'd suggest having the Normandy land as close as possible to New Omega and come down here. Anderson's sending in transports. We're expecting the first 50 people coming through within an hour," he paused, giving her the other good news as well. "One of them is Hilary Moreau."

"Moreau?? As in...." Saya trailed off but a small smile was on her lips. "I'll have the Normandy land as close to you as I can. Edi?"

"It will be done Captain." Edi's voice came back to her.

"There we go. We're on our way Jase."

Jase smiled a little bit. "Thanks." There was so much more he had to tell but Saya, she'd been through so much for this that he couldn't. "Thanks, sis."

Kaidan's dog-tags were fumbled out and he held them close, placing a kiss on then. "Thanks. Whatever you did Kaidan, you worked a miracle." And yet it was causing Jase a deep regret of having come too late by just a few weeks. Kaidan would never really know what he actually accomplished. A lot more than he had thought possible. 

"You're a hero Kaidan," Jase whispered and slowly walked back. "Do we have a doctor down here? In case someone's hurt."

Elaine looked at him as he asked the question.

"Actually we don't... the medical staff were the first ones to be killed..."

"Alright. I assume they've been killed on the other side. One or two of your group with basic first aid, I want them to give our Doctor a hand. The Normandy crew will be joining us shortly."

Elaine frowned as she thought of who would be best.

"There are a few people with basic first aid skills but I don't know their names or anything.."

"Give Edi access to their files, she'll sort it out. How much longer till the first round?"

"About 5 minutes and the portal will be ready." Elaine said. "How are you holding up?"

Jase sighed deeply and shook his head and tapped his visor. "Hud's sprouting off alarms. Should give you an idea. Elaine... I need to tell you something. You'll probably say you understand, but..," Jase paused, not looking at her, feeling ashamed. "Hilary Moreau is my husband's sister. I found someone... someone who loves me the same way Kaidan loved me."

Elaine whirled on him, anger in her eyes.

"Are you saying that while my brother held out hope for you - WAITED for you... Jase how could you??"

Silence, only the sound of a beating heart in his ears while Jase bit his tongue not to lash out or to yell. Or do anything else. In just about a very few minutes he'd have to greet people and someone like Hackett, only not an Admiral anymore. Jase turned his back onto her, watching the countdown on the console, trying to give her an answer. Right now, probably nothing would satisfy her though. He had betrayed Kaidan.

"Until today, in the morning, I .. you know what? I don't think any answer I give will satisfy you. Udina, with his bright idea to get rid of me as the first soon to be human Spectre destroyed our world! If it hadn't been for Jeff, I'd have killed myself! Yeah, but how could I. How the hell could I? How could _I_?? Try walking in my shoes Elaine, you'll stumble in my footsteps." Jase turned and walked away. "Edi, take over, will you. Greet them, tell Hackett what's going on.. I'll be.. outside."

Elaine just glared at Jase.

"At least you didn't have to see him murdered Jase!" She yelled after him.

Edi was silent as she kept working on the controls.

Once the door was closed Jase just stood there, rubbing his head. The only noise was him panting as if he'd run several miles. It felt like a dream, good and bad, probably more bad though and then he felt the rumble behind him, heard the sound and knew they were here. Those 50 people. And he didn't know what to do with himself.  
  


Saya was leaning heavily on Kaidan as they approached New Omega. She knew she shouldn't be doing this but had heard in Jase's voice that he needed her there. Closing her eyes against the pain she was in, she yelped in surprise when she was suddenly in Kaidan's arms being carried. Smiling a little, Saya kissed his cheek gently in gratitude then watched as they approached the facility and she saw Jase standing outside.

"He doesn't look good," Kaidan whispered to her, giving her a kiss on the cheek too. "I don't know Saya, this looks very wrong."

"Agreed, wholeheartedly agreed." Irimsaya replied, trying to keep her focus. She swallowed back her pain. "You don't have to carry me you know..."

Kaidan shook his head. "I know I don't Saya. But I want to," Kaidan replied with a soft smile. He gently placed her down when they had reached Jase and went to the man.

Jase still stood there, rubbing his head while panting softly.

"Jase?" Kaidan asked, but got no answer. Just a shake of Jase's head. A blink of metal caused him to look at the set of dog-tags hanging outside. They were shining brightly and Kaidan reached out, reading them.

"These are mine.. No. Wait, they have my name but these aren't my tags. They belong to a Captain Alenko. Jase? What's going on here?"

But there was no answer, aside of him shaking his head again.

"Jase? What's happened down here?" Kaidan asked, looking for help at Saya.

Saya was frowning and she gently put her hand on Jase's arm.

"Jase? Talk to us..."

He just shook his head again several times before trying to say something. "I...," he started, but just shook his head again. And Saya being down here? She shouldn't have come.

"Jase please. Talk to me." Saya winced when her voice cracked, revealing how poor off she still was. The second her voice broke she found Kaidan's arm around her waist supporting her once more.

Jase looked away from them and rubbed his head again.

"I..," he began again. "Elaine." He just shook his head again and heaved in a long breath. "Kaidan's been alive all these years. He died... a few weeks ago."

"Oh Jase..." Saya knew her own horror was on Kaidan's face as well. "What can we do?"

Jase shook his head again. "Saya, you need to rest. I can.. deal with that. Just arrived too late. Again. But," he continued quietly. "I told Elaine about Jeff." Jase narrowed his eyes then and got that stubborn look on his face. "She got angry. Newsflash: Jeff's my husband and I'm proud of him. She won't take this away from me."

Biting her lip, Saya quietly withdrew her hand.

"Give her time Jase. I think you both need it."

Jase nodded but he wondered quietly why Saya took her hand away. "I had no other choice. When Jeff's coming down I can't act as if we aren't a pair. I just...," he shook his head again. "I get her. But. She doesn't get me."

"She will. In time." Saya replied then closed her eyes for a moment. "She's going to need you soon enough, Jase."

Jase looked at her, wondering what she meant. He didn't understand her right now but nodded anyway. 

"Saya, you're ... not well. There are chairs inside that room. Please sit down. I need to go back to the lab. Thanks for coming down." He was more than worried about her, after everything she had been through on this day and here she was, being the strong woman she seemed to be.

Kaidan had been listening patiently, allowing them to talk. He felt more at ease now that Jase seemed to look better. Kaidan couldn't imagine what it would be like, but what he understood was the loss of someone you loved. At least he himself had gotten Saya back. And now he was going to meet his sister, someone he hadn't seen for so many years. Her death had been so sudden and nobody at home had really spoken about her. Occasionally he had been dreaming about her. They had played together, had told each other jokes and were very inseparable. And now she was here.

"I'm.. uh.. curious about my sister. I haven't seen her... for years. I'd like to see her."

Irimsaya sat down carefully with a wince.

"Then go. I'll be right here."

She forced a shaky smile to her face as she moved her eyes from Kaidan's face to the room.. the room she was forced to serve patrons in.

Kaidan's eyes followed hers and he frowned. They were deep below the party rooms and bars. "Wait.... I know that look," Kaidan's eyes narrowed. "Even so far down here?"

"Everywhere Kaidan." Her voice was quiet. "I had my head slammed against that wall there - that's my blood..."

"God," Kaidan growled out and he slapped his leg a little. "They're.. such bastards! How can anyone treat any woman ... Saya come. Let's not stay here any longer."

"I shouldn't have come Kaidan... I should've stayed in bed..." Saya closed her eyes as memories flooded her mind. "I don't think I can walk any further."

Kaidan picked her up to carry her inside when someone appeared at their side.

"Have I ever mentioned how much I hate it when my patients just flee from med-bay, leaving me behind and I have to hunt them down?" A clearly annoyed Arlen spoke up. "And worry? Commander, Captain." Arlen nodded at the pair.

Saya moaned and hid her face in Kaidan's neck.

"How did you find us so fast...?" Her voice muffled.

"Edi was so kind to inform me my Captain had left med-bay to come down here. She also said I might be needed for 'survivors coming over'. My main concern at the moment is your well being though, Captain. Is there anything I can do for you right now, ma'am?" Arlen asked softly, having calmed down. Now he was just concerned about her.

Kaidan adjusted his wife a very little, letting her look at him. He didn't know if he should grin or scowl.

Sighing softly, Saya turned her eyes from her smirking mate to her doctor.

"I'm sorry I didn't ask your permission doctor and don't worry - I'm regretting it. I should've stayed in the med bay."

She noted the look of surprise on both men as she made the admission.

"Allow me... to give you a painkiller," Arlen said and did it right away, knowing she was still in great pain. "I would also allow you to rest in your cabin ma'am. If you promise me not to run away again. Edi said you .. were needed." Whatever that had meant, but Arlen trusted Edi. "Please, inside are a few field beds according to Edi. If you would rest on them?"

Saya scrunched her nose a bit, not enjoying the thought of appearing weak in front of others but slowly she nodded her agreement.

"Alright... and I promise to behave."

"Oh, that's good news Edi. Thank you." Arlen said as he appeared to listen to something and nodded. "There is a room available. They have moved the beds into it. Follow me please?"

Kaidan raised an eyebrow and complied after taking a look at his wife. As much as he wanted to bring her back to the Normandy and into her very own bed, she was too tired right now.

When the door opened he was.. surprised, astonished and even shocked. The lab wasn't small and filled with people. He quickly followed Arlen who in turn was following Edi, while looking at all those people. "My god.. and everyone of them is from Jase's world? That's.... incredible..."

Elaine turned when she heard the all-too familiar voice.

"KAIDAN???"

Kaidan carefully placed Saya onto the bed, having heard someone calling his name. Yet the voice wasn't really known to him. He gave his wife a quick kiss on her cheek before he turned to see who this was. Had it been his sister? She had been so little when he had seen her last.

"Oh goddess, it **is** you..." Elaine approached him slowly, tears in her eyes. "You **are** alive here... Kaidan... goddess.... oh my brother...."

'Goddess?' Kaidan thought for a moment as this reminded him of Liara. 

"Elaine?" he asked carefully, studying her face and it struck him that she looked more like their father. Kaidan didn't even know how she had died. They, those people, had dragged him off to the camp and then he only had been told his sister had passed away. No one ever spoke about the why or how. The small three year old baby sister was just gone one day.

"Elaine? All grown up...tall. I, this is. A miracle." Kaidan just opened his arms for her. A stranger and yet his sister.

Elaine cried out and ran into his arms, holding this other Kaidan as tightly as she could, trembling.

Kaidan held her close, trying to comfort her when he heard her crying eventually. "I'm sorry Elaine, so sorry he died," he told her softly and looked over at Saya.

"Murdered. Right in front of me. He... he told me to run... then Udina knocked him down... and shot him between his eyes while I looked on..." Elaine said between sobs.

Kaidan nodded slowly. It felt weird to hear about himself getting murdered. Now a few more things made sense too. Especially why Jase had been so off, too. "I'm so sorry Elaine," he told her again while holding her.

"But you're alive now... you're alive and we can get back to talking right where we left off. My darling brother of a captain."

Saya was watching them with raised eyebrows.

"Uhm, ah, it's Commander actually Elaine," Kaidan replied slowly. 

"Don't you worry then we'll get you that Captain's job." She smiled up at him. "Oh Kaidan you're alive... you're really alive..."

"I am alive, yes I am. Ah, I'd like you to meet someone. My Captain," Kaidan carefully tried to get her to stop holding him so tightly so that he could introduce her to Saya. "Meet my Captain, Irimsaya Shepard-Alenko. My wife," he sighed softly with a smile only for her, "and mother of beautiful twins."

"Elaine.. a pleasure to meet you." Saya smiled at her husband's sister.

"Pleasure is mine ma'am... I uh... I'm sorry.. I guess I just over-excited..."

Kaidan nodded a little. "Elaine, it's actually with thanks to her finding you down here. We were visiting Thessia a few weeks ago and Jase and Saya were using the beacon there, receiving something like a message. Saya picked up on it and went undercover into New Omega."

"Wait..." Ealine stepped back and stared at Saya. "*She* was Udina's prized slave??"

Kaidan looked annoyed now. "She's my wife and not a prized slave Elaine. Can you tell me how and where you heard about this?"

"From Donnel himself. He was a braggart about everything. Wasn't yours?"

"Udina? I think he was a little bit .. more subtle. Elaine.. can we maybe, change the topic?" Kaidan asked, not really fond of talking about Udina and especially not hearing her addressing the bastard as Donnel.

"Of course, I'm sorry. What would you like to talk about?" 

Kaidan kept his eyes onto her then, she was so eager and happy and he had to think about what they could talk about. He could ask a lot of questions, barely knowing her. "How about you're telling me something about yourself?"

"About me? Um... not much to tell really. Just a soldier in the Alliance. We were waging a war against Cerberus when the Reapers attacked then we kind of made an alliance with Cerberus to fight them. The Illusive Woman was surprisingly helpful to us - even to our alien allies."

"Illusive Woman?" Kaidan asked carefully. "Where is she now?"

"Nobody knows. Although we do know she's still alive. And nobody knows what she looks like either. She was very good at trying to boss my brother around though."

Kaidan glanced at Saya, having another... 'TIM' and not knowing who it was could pose a problem for later. "We should find out Elaine. The Illusive.. Man or Woman and Cerberus, I don't know. This could become a problem."

"I don't think she'll be a problem Kaidan. Don't you trust me??" Elaine kissed his cheek gently.

"Kaidan... maybe we should talk alone for a minute?" Saya's eyes were thoughtful.

Kaidan nodded, watching his.. sister. Someone he barely knew. But he didn't point this out to her. "Uhm, Elaine, please excuse us for a minute? I'm needed." Kaidan smiled a little at her.

Arlen quietly slipped out of the room, giving the pair their privacy. After everything he had heard so far, he was blown away.

Elaine sighed then nodded.

"Sure... I'll catch up with you later." She slipped out to see how things were going.

Irimsaya put her head back on the pillow, watching as Kaidan sat on the bed with her.

"Something feels off Kaidan, I can't put my finger on it."

Kaidan nodded slowly. "Did we ever have the same feeling with Jase? You know, she just implied she's... the Illusive Woman."

"I was wary of Jase at first but **nothing** like this. And yeah I kind of got that when she said she'd get you that Captain's spot."

"Yeah that was something I really did _not_ like at all," Kaidan sighed and shook his head. "There was nothing in Udina's files implying anything like this."

"Udina was always a sneaky bastard Kaidan. Even our own Udina was. But... this also confirms Edi's fears - that someone wants to kill me."

Kaidan narrowed his eyes. "You're saying... Elaine...?" Kaidan sighed, thinking. "How can we trust her then, if ever?"

Saya put a hand over his gently.

"Hey hey.... I never ever said that. I just said I think Edi's right. That someone's going to try and outright kill me. I don't know who, how or when. But like Jase had to - your 'sister' will have to prove herself to us."

Kaidan nodded. And nodded again once more. "Understood... Okay. Well, basically she is my sister. Arlen could do a DNA test to prove it?"

"You sound uncertain Kaidan. Talk to me."

Kaidan sighed, shaking his head. Somehow he felt like doing the same Jase had done before. He looked over towards his sister and saw they were planning more. "I don't know Saya. I'm.. like you say, uncertain. Maybe Cerberus is better than ours was? What if not?"

"If they were better Kaidan they wouldn't be planning on killing me. But putting that aside - you know I will support you no matter what, right?"

Kaidan sighed once again and nodded then. "I know you will. And I know where my loyalties lie. With you as my wife and Captain and with the Alliance. This hasn't changed. What do you think, should I go and talk more to her? See what she knows. Maybe I can convince her to help me and my family."

Saya frowned a little bit at him.

"I think I will let you decide that, Kaidan."

"Saya, right now you and our babies are my priority. She might be my sister, but ...," Kaidan shrugged. "As much as I like having her back and more, talking to her, telling my mom and dad she's alive. You'll always come first." But he was torn and Kaidan sighed, rubbing his neck. The frown deepened on his face, causing the lingering headache to come fully forward.

"I guess I'm beginning to really understand what it must have been like for Jase. Having someone you love being torn away from you. And then you get the person back but it's not the same. I should talk to her, shouldn't I. You went and took care of Jase, made sure he settled in as best as he could. I should do the same for Elaine."

Struggling to sit up again, Saya's eyes never left Kaidan's face.

"Yeah maybe you should but not until you let me massage your neck and temples - you're hurting."

"Remember the time of our vacation at the beach where I hardly had any headaches?" Kaidan smiled a bit, missing that time too. Saya had been with the twins. "It really felt nice taking a nap every afternoon," he chuckled a little. "You're hurting too, I shouldn't agree to it."

"I remember... feels like a vague memory though. As for me hurting too - one of us has to be able to function and keep order and I don't think it's going to be me. Head and neck under my hands - now _Commander_." Saya smiled at him lovingly.

"Aye aye Captain," Kaidan replied with a soft grin and turned around after loosening his collar a little to give her more room.

Irimsaya gently placed her cool hands on Kaidan's neck, happy that she was more at ease with him than with anyone else - even Jase. Her ordeal had done more damage to her mind than even she had realized until now. She gently massaged Kaidan's neck until he was groaning in pleasure.

"That help?"

Kaidan yawned even and nodded, rubbing his eyes a little. "Thank you," he said and hesitated. Kaidan knew he had told their doctor how they would talk about everything, but he was afraid he'd hurt her. "Saya? I would like to turn around and give you a peck. Or just hold you and do whatever you would want me to."

Her hands stopped moving on his shoulders and Irimsaya swallowed hard. But this was the man she loved, the man she trusted with her life.

"I'd like that." She replied, her voice shaking a bit.

Slowly turning around Kaidan thought about what he would do, he wasn't stupid and knew how to read his wife. Holding her was enough and maybe a kiss onto her cheek was pushing it already. Which is what he did, carefully taking her into his arms for a while and placing a gentle kiss onto her cheek, too scared to push her into something she couldn't handle at all. And too scared of not doing enough, making her think he'd avoid her or not love her anymore. Which he didn't consider. After everything that had happened, Kaidan knew he loved her forever.

Closing her eyes, Saya felt herself relaxing in his arms.

"Love you Kaidan." She mumbled as she drifted off to a dreamless sleep.

Kaidan closed his eyes and just held her carefully for a longer while, before he gently placed her down. For a minute he watched her and was nearly stroking her hair but stopped himself. Something told him if he did this, he'd disturb her in a way he wouldn't want to and he carefully withdrew his hand. There was a frown on his face again as he gently placed the blanket over her again and then he left the ajorned room.

"Doctor Novak? My wife is asleep, if you could stay with her please. I'd like to have someone close by when she wakes up."

Arlen nodded quietly, understanding and went into the room.

Elaine turned when she heard Kaidan's voice.

"Is she okay?"

Kaidan wasn't sure now how much he could trust her. But maybe it was best to let her see how much he loved his wife and how he cared about her, among a few other things. He shook his head no.

"No, Elaine. She isn't. I .. don't think she'll be for a while. You know, she's .. ah," he frowned, wondering. "She and Jase are the same person. She's my wife."

"I see. And instead of Jase or you, they gave her the Captain's position on the Normandy?"

Kaidan sighed and shook his head. Why was she so adamant with him having command? 

"Elaine. About three years ago Saya defeated Sovereign on the Citadel. She'd received command of the Normandy after Eden Prime. Jase, he'd been allowed to stay and help. It was a very generous act from the brass, considering they could have locked him up someplace. He just.. dropped at our feet. Like.. here he was." Kaidan paused, watching her. Maybe he should give her a run down. 

"Saya also defeated the Collectors and had gotten reinstated when the Reapers invaded about.. well, about nine months ago. We went to Mars, the archives. She got hurt bad there and spent some time in hospital. The Alliance needed someone to take over and they reinstated Jase. It took us several weeks to unite the galaxy, collect forces. The Alliance built the crucible and Jase got it to fire it. I read the reports. It didn't fire and Jase said no one could fix it but him. We won the war. Jase planned to resign, but asked for leave. Saya gave birth to our babies. I became Commander, Saya Captain. Whatever Saya was doing, I knew I'd stay at her side and told the brass if they wanted me as Commander of the Normandy, it needed a Captain - my wife. I'm happy where I'm at Elaine, I don't need to have command. I like to serve with her and have her back. Just like old times."

Elaine's eyes narrowed very slightly but she nodded.

"Alright, I'll let the subject drop."

Kaidan looked a bit flabbergasted now. "I don't know Elaine. Things are different over here. Our lives have taken different turns obviously. Like Saya not being male or Jase trying to rekindle his relationship with me, but it wasn't working this way. I know I was a Captain, I saw the dog-tags you gave Jase," he told her softly. 

"I have to get back to work... Commander." She walked back to the terminals.

Kaidan went after her, needing to understand this and obviously it was something very important. "Elaine...! Why is this so important that I'm Captain?"

Elaine turned on him quickly.

"Because you're the shadow broker you idiot!" She hissed angrily.

Kaidan gaped at her a little and then he closed his mouth and rubbed his forehead. No wonder Jase was so off. Apparently his being here had changed many things. "Actually I'm not," Kaidan pointed out in a soft voice.

"Well then we'll just have to get you back into your position of power, Kaidan. Can't have you being useless now can we?"

Kaidan suddenly chuckled a little and shook his head. "No. We have a very good shadow broker." Kaidan bit his tongue before stating he's friends with the broker too.

"You listen to me, brother. You *will* get into a position of power - whether you like it or not."

"No." Kaidan said again. "It's not working like this over here with me, or something. Someone. I ah.. decide myself what to do with my career."

"Don't worry, I'll take care of you like I always do. You won't have to worry about a thing."

"Elaine....no. I.. please don't. I'm glad to have you here and get to know you but.. what about your husband?"

"My husband is dead. He died when the Reapers hit Earth. Now what can I do to get you back in power... mmh... this will require some thought..."

"I'm very sorry to hear this Elaine. But I'm fine with the way things are here, I really... don't need any more power. Those who hold this power are my friends Elaine."

Elaine grabbed Kaidan by his chin tight enough to bruise the skin and glared into his eyes.

"Don't presume you know what's best for you big brother. You've never known."

Kaidan's eyes narrowed at this and he grabbed her wrist, jerking the hand away. "This is MY life. I'm your big brother yes. And you... you haven't been in my life since I had lost you when I was 13 years old."

Elaine used her free hand to slap him hard.

"Lesson 1: *never* touch me without my permission *brother*. Here's lesson 2... I know how you use your biotics and if you ever try to focus them on me I will short-circuit your amp and you'll end up with the mind of a child - and don't think I can't do it." She hissed at him. "If you even so much as breathe a word of *any* of this to anyone else - I'll kill someone you love."

Kaidan was getting really pissed off now. "Lesson 1 for you, dear sister. I've known you for what, an hour now maybe? You need to earn your place in **my** life. Lesson two. Biotics or not, I'm a trained soldier and know how to handle myself in combat. If you ever come close to anyone of my family you need to get past me first. And the last one: this is **not** your world. I've been doing fine without you. You are not going to threat my family!! As far as I'm concerned you need to _earn_ your place in my family.. let alone.. call me your brother! My little Elaine was.. not like this! She was a loving little baby girl who.. liked colouring her books, collected flowers and played with her puppets. Unlike YOU!"

Jase was watching from the other side of the room, noting things got heated. It was interesting, something he hadn't anticipated at all. Maybe Edi would know what this was about, if she had recorded their chat. Jase excused himself from the people he was speaking to and walked over to Edi.

"Edi, do me a favour, monitor what Mrs. Gemla is doing. Something about her rubs me the wrong way."

"As you wish Shepard." Edi responded and cocked her head as the recording began.

"Really Kaidan..." Elaine laughed lightly then pressed a device in her. She watched as her brother realized she had just switched off his biotics. "Starting now you do whatever I say. Be good and maybe I'll do as you ask."

Jase nodded and continued to watch, eyes narrowing. It was probably a good suggestion from Hackett to bring over any databases that were still available. Maybe they could find something in it about this sister of Kaidan.

Kaidan winced a little as it caused him some kind of a spark along his spinal cord. "No Elaine. I will not."

"Then I guess your biotics stay off permanently." Elaine smiled at him. "You won't be able to protect anyone."

"Whatever," Kaidan replied in a tone showing his annoyance. "You aren't my sister." And he wouldn't tell his parents about it either. Someone like this, manipulative and worse, wasn't what they needed. They deserved someone better. Kaidan turned around and left, wondering how the hell she had done this. Maybe Dr. Novak could help with this.

"Shepard." Edi looked at him. "I believe we may have a problem." She replayed the conversation for him.

Jase listened to it and he narrowed his eyes. Now he was beginning to wonder what more she had done and if she had even been lying. And what about Kaidan? Both of them. If she was already manipulating Saya's Kaidan, what could it imply for his world's Kaidan. Was he even dead...?

"Edi," Jase began softly, "monitor everything she does. Starting from bathroom breaks to her communicating with others. I want her medical file, past, everything there is. And, keep an eye on Kaidan too. If you must, protect him."

"Consider it done Shepard." Edi answered.

Jase nodded at her. "Thanks. I'll be outside, there's a room across the entry. I need to see if it's free and available to sleep in it. Let me know when something comes up."  
  


Irimsaya opened her eyes when she heard Arlen's voice telling Kaidan that there was nothing he could do.

"About what?" Saya mumbled.

Kaidan sighed softly and rubbed his neck. It still tingled back there. He didn't want to tell her, not because Elaine had forbidden it but because Saya was supposed to rest. And now she wouldn't until she had grilled him enough to spill it anyway. 

"You were right all along. Elaine, she used something on me which interrupts my biotics," he sighed. "And threatened me if I tell someone about it, to kill someone I love." Kaidan shook his head and added with a sad voice. "She is.. crazy."

Saya was frowning a little bit.

"She sounds like The Illusive Man used to..."

Kaidan nodded and sighed once again.

Arlen was wondering, he hadn't seen anything like this before. It intrigued him, a challenge, something to sink his teeth into and solve a mystery, a riddle.

"I need a sample, sir." Arlen said, not going to back down now.

Saya nodded her agreement.

"Let Arlen try Kaidan. For me."

Kaidan nodded and sat down, whatever their doctor had in mind maybe he could figure something out.  
  


Some time later Jase walked over into the room and sniffed a little. Alright, the air was a bit stale but at least it seemed kind of clean. Kind of. Feeling paranoid now from the encounter with Elaine, he scanned the room for any bugs. Jase groaned. Of course. A few lit up and he went to get rid of them. With a sigh he sat down onto the bed and began to take off parts of the armour. Jase reached up to his comm, wanting to hear the voice of his husband.

"Jeff... you there?"

"Hey handsome. Edi said you might have a problem there?"

Jase smiled at the voice and laid back down for a moment, looking at the dirty ceiling. "More than one problem actually. How about someone gives you a hand, brings you down here."

"You really think me being in a crowded place is a good idea?" Joker heard the uncertainty in his own voice.

"Well," Jase began. "Can't come up for the night. Kind of miss you," he teased him a little. "There's someone down here you should meet. We could do that tomorrow."

"Whatever you think... I'm just worried about someone bumping me the wrong way ya know?"

"I understand," Jase said. "I've got a room across the entry, no one's here. We'd be.. by ourselves. It's been a hell of a day Jeff. I could come up and help you down. What do you say?" Jase chuckled then a little. "Could use a sanity check."

"Then come and get me big boy cause I can't wait." Joker teased.

Jase got off the bed and was already through the door, locking it behind him. "On my way. Edi, I'm picking up Jeff," Jase informed her and went up to meet with his husband.

"Understood Shepard and I am already aware of it since I am also on the Normandy." Edi responded, humour in her voice.

Jase grinned to himself as he was jogging already to meet with Jeff. "I know Edi. I like to think of you as a person."

As soon he saw Jeff Jase smiled and went to him, wrapping him into a long careful embrace. "Hey Tiger..."

Joker nuzzled Jase the second he was in his arms.

"Hi." His voice was quiet. "Edi said things were getting tense down there?"

Jase nodded and gave him a kiss. There was a stretch of silence before he rested his forehead against Jeff's. "I'll explain once we're alone.... Okay?"

Joker frowned then nodded.

"Yeah sure, why not."  


* * *

Meanwhile on the surface Edi was observing Councillor Hackett speaking with Elaine. She listened for a moment then tapped her communicator on.

"Commander Alenko?"

"Yes Edi?" Kaidan answered while sitting on a chair next to Saya's bed.

"You might be interested to know that Councillor Hackett has arrived and is asking your sister how the plan for you is going." Edi replied.

Kaidan sat up straighter. "What? What plan? What the hell are they planning?"

"They have not said anything more. I think they know I was listening... would you like me to ask them?"

Kaidan was once again totally surprised. "I didn't even know you were listening in on them. Sure, ask them, just don't tell them I'm involved. My sister seems to be.. I don't know, crazy."

"On the contrary, Commander, I believe she is quite sane. And very dangerous." Edi replied.

"I think you're right Edi. You know, don't ask them. Maybe hack into their files and find out what they have planned. We wanted to help these people and all they do is causing us heartaches and trouble. Let alone causing more suffering to those people who're stuck with the Reapers."

"Indeed. Be warned - Councillor Hackett is heading your way with your sister."

"Thank you Edi."

Kaidan growled a little to himself, wondering what the walking pest wanted from him now. He tried to calm himself and to get his face back to normal, acting if he had no idea about it at all.

Elaine peeked into the room.

"Kaidan? Come here please."

Kaidan sighed and got up, at least she had said please and yet it still sounded like an order. 

"What is it?" he asked and grimaced inwardly. They really were rubbing off on him now, sounding like one of the Shepards.

Elaine smiled when he came out of the room.

"Good. Councillor Hackett - my brother in this universe."

"Ah Commander Alenko, a pleasure to finally meet you."

"Ad..sorry," Kaidan smiled at him, while apologizing and ignored his supposed sister. "Councillor Hackett, pleased to meet you sir."

"I hear you're lacking some... influence in this universe. We'll get that straightened out for you son, don't you worry." Hackett patted his shoulder. "Elaine will get you there."

"Sir," Kaidan began, trying to be polite and not show how annoyed he was getting by now. "With all due respect, this isn't necessary. My influence is high enough as it is. I've been with the crew who defeated the Reapers." Maybe this would help, Kaidan figured. Maybe. After all they had something like a hero status by having served together with the Shepards.

"He's still in denial too." Elaine explained as Hackett eyed Kaidan. "I've already disabled his biotics until he obeys."

"Good." Hackett said quietly, shifting uncomfortably. "The sooner this is over with the better."

"Denial? I'm sorry, but this is not your world, Councillor. Why aren't you worrying about getting your people into safety instead. This galaxy is living in peace. My place doesn't matter. Your people need your help Sir."

"All help comes with a price Commander. Why do you think she killed her own brother?" He walked off, his head bowed.

"Don't listen to him Kaidan. I would never have killed you."

"Right," Kaidan looked at the back of the Admiral before he glanced at his sister. "I'm not believing a word from you anymore."

"Don't talk to me like that Kaidan. Ever. And by the way - you signed your wife's death warrant a few hours ago when you told her."

This time Kaidan grabbed her by her wrist and squeezed it hard. "Don't you dare to threaten my family or you will really get to know me by my bad side."

Elaine moved suddenly, grabbing his wrist in her other hand and breaking it.

"Enough Kaidan. You will start to behave or you won't be around long."

Kaidan yelled out in pain, grunting through grit teeth. But at that moment something happened and he did what he never had done before. He reached out with his right hand and slapped her. 

Edi stepped between them, seemingly coming from nowhere.

"I believe you are needed elsewhere ma'am." She turned to Kaidan and helped him back to the room where Saya was. "Doctor Novak - your assistance is required."

For a second Arlen stared at his Commander, wondering how in the world this had happened now. Then he went into action, seeing the pained look on his face, among another few emotions. New Omega always seemed to spell hell.


	16. New People - New Worries

Jase closed the door behind him and locked it. Scanned the room again just to be sure and shrugged a bit at Jeff. 

"Can't be careful enough down here. Feels like being with Cerberus again. Well," he sighed a little and walked with Jeff to the bed. "Someone gave me this." Jase fumbled to get the tags out and placed them into Jeff's hand.

Joker looked at the tags then at Jase, paling a bit.

"So... what are you telling me..."

"The visions the beacons gave me, Virmire, Thessia. Virmire Liara helped me to sort them out but no one's been doing that for Thessia. Kaidan died around this time. That's what his sister told me." Jase laid his arm around Jeff's shoulder, drawing him close. 

"Aw Jase I'm sorry..." Joker closed his eyes and hugged his husband as tight as he could.

Jase cuddled close and closed his eyes while resting his head next to Jeff's. 

"There's more. Kaidan's sister, I don't know. She's... _wrong_. Something's going on with her. She's already trying to blackmail our Kaidan. I told her about us and she blew up into my face. Jeff, call it a hunch, but she lied. Kaidan might be still alive."

Joker was about to say something to that when there was a knock on the door. He sighed and looked at Jase.

"Looks like you're wanted again."

Edi stood outside the door patiently.

Jase heaved a heavy sigh. "God.. just want some time with you." And talk with him about this. He got up slowly and walked to the door, unlocking it. "Edi? Come inside."

Edi did as she was asked and waited until the door was closed.

"You asked to be kept informed regarding the Commander's sister. I just had to intervene in an argument where she broke his wrist."

"What?!" Jase groaned and rubbed his face. This rescue his people mission was going downhill fast with this woman. "Alright. We need security people down here. I'm sure a few Krogan would love a job like that. Have you heard anything else?"

"Indeed. I do not believe Councillor Hackett approves of her. He seemed as if he had been forced into something.

Jase was pacing the room and nodded. "When I spoke to him, it was like talking to this world's Hackett. Edi, send a message to Wrex. He knows about this here, ask him for reliable security people and Grunt. You don't mess with a Krogan, or a group of them. I'll inform Admiral Anderson. We need more equipment, detention and quarantine places. We're getting my world's databases...," Jase checked his omni-tool and noted the next group of people were already in this world and he looked at Jeff then. "Edi, please bring her over."

"She is already here Shepard." A small smile formed on Edi's lips. "And she is quite a pleasant individual."

"Good work Edi." Jase nodded and smiled at this as he went to the door and opened it. 

"Pleased to meet you," he just said and shook her hand, "come inside please. Don't be weary of the man sitting on the bed, he's my husband." The red hair and freckles were just as he thought she'd look.

"Commander," she nodded and slowly walked inside, looking around. And then she saw Jeff.

"Joker?!?"

Joker stood up, frowning a bit.

"Uhm... yeah...?"

"But don't you recognize me? It's me.. Hilary. Your sister," Hilary looked at the two other people in the room for help.

Jase nodded at his husband, grinning at him. 

Joker saw Jase nodding then looked back at the young woman in front of him, shock and happiness in his eyes.

"Hil? Is it really you??"

"It's me, yes!" she answered and made a dash towards her brother.

"Just older," Jase grinned and stepped aside when Hilary was rushing past him to give her brother a hug and she did it carefully. Which caused Jase to grin even more. Now he could talk to Anderson and went to the other side of the room, taking care of their security problem.

"Let us sit down? You're looking good, a bit older though. I can't believe this. I thought I'd never see you again."

Joker was staring at her then slowly and carefully reached up and ran a hand through her hair.

"I'm not dreaming?" His voice was quivering. "You're really real?"

"Really, really real," she nodded. "Or we both are having the same dream," Hilary laughed then a little.

His eyes were full of unshed tears as Joker smiled again. Hearing her laugh, her voice... being able to see and touch her... it was like a dream come true for him. He silently leaned in and hugged her again, unable to form any words.

Hilary let him, noting he smelled the same way her brother had and the hat was there too. She carefully withdrew and rubbed his cheeks a little, grinning at him. "Joker. You're a pilot here too or have you been doing something else?"

"Uh yeah... Yeah I'm a pilot here... What do you do?"

"Can I get a tour of your ship?" Hilary giggled a little. "I want to see what you are piloting aside of the Commander over there," she leaned in closer. "He's cute.. where did you find him?" She giggled more. "Sorry... I'm a technican and I helped creating the project here."

"Well I'm sure you can get a tour. You've already met the ship's AI... As for Jase... He's the Shepard from your universe."

Hilary nodded, looking thoughtful. "Testsubject JS. I have heard about him." Hilary leaned forward, watching her brother. "You're still.. shocked Joker? What happened to your ' _me_ '?"

"You, ah, she was killed by the Reapers..." Joker closed his eyes against the painful memory.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Joker," Hilary watched him, aware that when he was so quiet he was hurting a lot. She hugged him instead, holding him close like she had done it so often when he had needed her. Now she didn't want to know about their parents, she could find this out herself.

Joker broke down sobbing. This was really happening. She was back.

Jase went to Edi and quietly told her to please go back and watch over his sister and Kaidan. Then he was watching the siblings. The red hair reminded him of his sister and he sighed softly as he reflected the day. There were so many feelings inside of him Jase didn't know how to sort them or how to actually talk about it right now. And not talking about it only made it worse as he began locking them away and became cold inside once more. Indifferent. Which wasn't good and something he hadn't planned on repeating. Having Jeff around had meant to sort it through but the fates had been against this.

For now, while watching the siblings, he was glad something good was happening to Jeff. Hilary was older, close to her 30ies Jase figured, but it didn't really matter. She was his sister and his instinct told him she wasn't a manipulative bitch like Elaine. He had totally underestimated her as she had played with him and his feelings for Kaidan.

Jase scratched his chin and felt the stubble under his fingertips. He should shave, soon. And get his hair back into order. The bangs were too long now and needed to be shortened. The buzz cut was always a good thing but now he didn't want it anymore. He was different now. Still the same, but different. The hair was showing it. With a sigh Jase brought up his omni-tool and typed up a quick message, 'Kelly, I need a session. Doesn't matter when,' and hit sent.

The sobbing from Jeff had changed into soft crying and sniffles and Jase went over, bringing a tissue with him. He smiled a little at Hilary and sat down on the bed, moved his left leg to touch Jeff's and carefully sat behind him to gently rub his back gently. Then he leaned forward to wrap him into arms from behind.

Hilary giggled softly again while drying her face. "A Joker sandwich."

Joker sniffled and chuckled a bit.

"I can't tell you two how happy I am right now."

Jase chuckled a bit too and nodded, placing a kiss onto his neck.

Hilary giggled. "And me too big bro, I lost you a few years ago."

Joker closed his eyes and moved his head, gently kissing her hair.

"I never stopped missing you Hilary - never..."

Hilary sighed softly, feeling very content right now.  


* * *

Arlen was quietly working on Kaidan's wrist while his eyes kept darting around. Edi was gone. And it unsettled him. The presence of her gave him more comfort than he had thought and Elaine, this weird sister of the Commander, gave him the creeps. She was as bad as a slaver. 

Glancing over at his Captain he saw she was still asleep and nodded to himself, knowing he had to keep watch over her. The threat from the woman hadn't been missed by him. The people Arlen had been spoken to seemed to be alright, but many of them tensed up when _She_ was around and came close. They became silent and just went about their work, trying to fade into the background. Arlen figured they were hoping not to draw any attention to themselves. This was like a regime and _She_ was a dictator walking around.

Edi came back after awhile and sat next to Arlen, watching him finish with Kaidan's wrist.

"Will the Commander be alright? I think we will need him at his full capacity."

Arlen smiled at her, feeling a lot more at ease now with her around. "Hello Edi. His wrist will be fine."

"Hey.. you know I'm here and haven't disappeared, yet." Kaidan sighed softly. 

"Has this room been scanned for 'bugs' as Commander Shepard calls them?" Edi asked softly.

Kaidan looked up at her and shook his head.

Arlen watched them both, wondering what bugs they were talking about. But then it dawned on him.

Edi walked around, analyzing everything with her omni-tool.

"This room is now clear." She walked back to the men. "I am concerned that this woman may indeed be in charge of their Cerberus. And if that is the case.... I believe she will attempt to use Commander Alenko to her own advantage."

"Edi, she already is and tried to blackmail me. She ... messed up my biotics. Threatened my wife, says I'm in denial, slapped me, broke my wrist." Needless to say Kaidan felt as if he was about to lose his mind too with the things she did. As if he himself was going insane.

"This is the exact way The Illusive Man worked as well - with Kai Lang. I would suggest that... you pretend to cooperate. See what she wants from you." Edi's voice was thoughtful.

Kaidan just looked at her, not liking this. 

"You know, this actually makes me wondering what she did to the other me and how she influenced his relationship with Jase. Among a few other things. You're suggesting I should do what she says and become a second Kai Lang?" Kaidan sighed, shook his head and closed his eyes. "I don't like this ... not at all. I'd be at her mercy."

Just then Arlen's stomach rumbled and he grimaced a little, hoping it hadn't been noticed.

Edi watched Kaidan.

"You already are under her power Commander. She has command of your biotics." She looked over at Arlen when his stomach rumbled. "I will attempt to locate some provisions for you both."

Arlen ducked his head in shame and nodded a bit, feeling embarrassed.

"There's one person in this galaxy I'm willing to succumb to Edi. And that's my wife. Or those commanding me in the line of command. She's not from this world and as far as I'm concerned now, she isn't my sister. Someone corrupted her and she allowed it willingly."

"I do not believe it was done so willingly." Edi said glancing at Kaidan again. "She has several scars - all of them very old." 

Edi left, letting that sink in for Kaidan. When she came back a few minutes later she carried two trays full of food.

"I scanned them - they have not been drugged or poisoned. I suggest you both eat and keep your strength."

Kaidan thought Edi was in full commanding mode and nodded. He took the tray and thanked her. He wasn't really hungry but took a bite anyway. 

"Do you think she's been.. tortured or someone put a chip into her head or something to control her?"

"Thank you Edi," Arlen said and watched them both and dove into his food, practically inhaling it while he was thinking about the Commander's biotics.

"I believe torture is the more likely of those scenarios." Edi explained. "It has always been the method of Cerberus - apparently in any reality."

Kaidan nodded, eating some more. "And you're suggesting, she might not be evil but broken? Can someone like her be healed, or helped, become the person they have been before to some extent?"

Arlen quietly spoke up while eating. "People with such scars change, Commander. You can try to heal them but nothing will ever be the same. The one you were before ... it's like getting dirty sir. You try to scrub it off and away, hide it, but it will always be there."

"I have to concur with the Doctor. I cannot believe she will ever be the same woman again, Commander. And I have no doubt that she will want you with her the entire way."

Kaidan eyed them both. "Uh.. I don't like the sound of this at all. Going into a lion's den is more .. fun. There's nothing we can do to help her?"

"I do not believe so Commander. If we try to I have every reason to believe she will succeed in killing our Captain."

Kaidan looked over to Saya. "Elaine wants me to become the Shadow Broker Edi. And what if I go and comply and she still wants to kill her?"

"We should.. uhm, excuse me please," Arlen said, "for speaking up like this. I suggest sending the Captain back to the Normandy. She would be safe there."

"I do not believe the Captain will wish that. And I will not force that choice on her." Edi said. "She has had enough decisions made for her. Allow her to choose."

"Listen to the AI." Saya mumbled, her eyes still closed.

"Of course, I'm sorry ma'am," Arlen said.

Kaidan got up and went to her. "I'll listen to Edi, if you think it's the best and agree with her."

Irimsaya opened her eyes, feeling weaker than before.

"I trust... Edi's judgment... but not more.... than yours...."

"I trust her too, Saya." Kaidan replied. He hated the idea of giving in to Elaine.

Arlen put the tray away and went over to her, checking her. "You need to eat something Captain."

"Not hungry..." Saya's words were quiet. 

Edi glanced over to them.

"Her voice has undertones of both weakness and pain Arlen."

Arlen wanted to reply he knew that, but didn't. Her well being was more important than his pride right now. The soft sigh and gentle slump of his shoulders were all that gave away he had made a decision on how to help her best. He hooked her up on fluids and nutriment. Before giving her something for the pain he asked quietly, "Ma'am, is _it_ hurting again?"

"I... yes... but... it has to be Kaidan... please.... please..." Saya was pleading.

"Captain," Arlen replied softly while giving her a tiny smile. "I _understand_ ," Arlen said and repeated it. "I understand." Arlen went over to Kaidan and gave the cream to him, then took the tray. "Edi? We should give them some privacy."

Edi followed Arlen without another word.

Saya felt Kaidan's hand on hers a few seconds after the door closed and she opened her eyes and met his.

"Thank you Kaidan... in advance..."

"Saya, anything for you, anything." Kaidan replied and got into position and took some cream onto his fingers. "Saya? I'll touch you now, okay? I love you, you know that yes? If we had to, I'd marry you again tomorrow, and the day after and after. Next week and next month. And next year again." Kaidan said to distract her while getting the cream where it was needed.

Saya whimpered quietly and closed her eyes.

"Kaidan.... I want another baby...."

"I'd like that. I want another one with you too." Kaidan carefully withdrew and put the blanket back into place again and went to wash his hands. He took the chair and sat down next to her.

"You... want me back on the ship don't you Kaidan." Saya asked softly as he finished.

Kaidan knew he wanted that since it meant she was safe. "Where would you want to be Saya?"

"Near you... but I know there's danger here. I can... I can feel it somehow..."

"I would like to have you close to me too. But it would help me dealing with Elaine knowing you are safe and out of any danger."

Sighing, Saya closed her eyes then nodded.

"Alright... I just...never mind... I'll go..."

"Hey," Kaidan said softly. "I'm worried about you. You've been through a lot for this and I don't want you getting any more hurt and knowing you're safe .. that she can't hurt you and use us against each other."

Saya looked away from him, she knew he was right but she was also terrified of being away from him again.

"Yeah... yeah I get it... take care of things down here... Commander."

Kaidan reached out to gently caress her hair. "I hate being away from you too and especially right now when _we_ need each other most."

"I get it... I do..." Irimsaya knew her voice was shaking but it couldn't be helped. "Just be careful... without your biotics..."

Kaidan nodded, absolutely hating the thought of leaving her alone when she needed him most. He needed someone to talk to, just didn't know who. And someone to give him some directions as he didn't know if he was behaving correctly around her, yet he hoped Saya would tell him. Her allowing him to touch her showed how much she trusted him. 

The other action he had which troubled Kaidan was him hitting another woman. Something he hadn't done before.

"I will be, there is no one else down here who gives me such good massages like you do. And Jase of course, but yours are better."

Saya just nodded at that, feeling off that she was sending her people... her husband... into danger that she couldn't protect him from or fight with him against.

Kaidan nodded, not knowing what he actually was nodding to, but agreeing with Saya about something unspoken was kind of natural. "I would like to have you here at my side, fighting with me and put her into her place."

"You should get some sleep." Saya said quietly. "Before dealing with her again."

"I will sleep here right next to you. Nowhere else for now...," Kaidan rubbed his eyes and yawned. Damn, just her mentioning to sleep made him yawn.

"Then do it... consider it an order..." Saya forced a small smile to her lips.

"Hehe," Kaidan chuckled very softly as he got up and pushed another bed over to have it close to her. "Aye aye Captain."

Saya watched him as he climbed into the bed and smiled a little again when he was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. Closing her eyes once more, Saya joined Kaidan in a deep sleep.


	17. New People - New Worries Part 2

Elaine peered into the room where the pair were located to ensure nobody else was around. She then grabbed a chair and put it behind Kaidan's bed, smiling to herself. 

Arlen came into his sanctuary and went to his desk, pulling up a file he needed to check. He groaned softly to himself; his fingertips were hurting when he accidently hit the desk. Arlen hissed and turned around and looked straight at Elaine. 

"Oh! Hello Mrs. Gemla. I'm sorry but visiting time is over." 

Elaine just smiled at him. 

"I was just leaving." She got up and left the room without an argument. 

Arlen narrowed his eyes as he watched her leave, wondering if she had done something. He went over to the Captain and the Commander, scanning them. 

Once she was out of Arlen's sight, Elaine put the needle she had used on Kaidan back into the pouch she carried with her at all times. Soon her brother here wouldn't even remember that he was married. She laughed lightly as she walked away. 

Something was off here and Arlen knew it. Something didn't make sense here at all. The biotics were still off. Never trust an evil person smiling at you. It always was a predator's smile waiting for the right time to pounce on its prey. 

The Captain was fine, but the Commander's scan gave him some weird readings. Brain activity was different and the Commander wasn't even in his REM sleep yet. 

"Edi? _She_ was in here." 

Edi looked up from what she was doing when she received Arlen's transmission and moved quickly to the room where her Captain was. 

"Is Captain Shepard-Alenko alright??" 

"Yes yes. It's the Commander. His brain activity, I haven't seen anything like this before. Edi, we need guards down here. I can't work like this having to fear all the time she'll tinker around with my patient's health." 

Edi looked torn then made a decision. 

"I will remain here until the Krogan arrive. Once they get here I will ask Grunt to remain. No one will 'tangle' with him." 

Arlen watched her thoughtfully, something had been going on in her head, which was new to him. He was torn between saying something and not saying anything at all. "Edi?" Arlen began but started getting busy with Kaidan's brain instead to figure this out and got distracted by it. 

Edi watched as Arlen worked, her eyes widening slightly when Kaidan's head began jerking on the pillow as if he was dreaming. 

"Arlen... what is happening?" 

Arlen's mind was racing as he scanned him and enhanced the one picture, showing her the hundreds of nanites in his body. To keep Kaidan from hurting himself Arlen laid his hands onto the Commander's head. 

"Edi, shock him!" 

Edi ran over to help as soon as she heard the words. 

"He will spasm hard Doctor - hold him down so he does not damage himself!" She activated an overload sequence on her Commander. 

Arlen half laid down across his chest, but the man was bigger than he himself was. What he didn't anticipate was getting a small portion of the overload too, which sent his teeth rattling. 

Saya's eyes flew open when she heard Kaidan's cry of pain. 

"Kaidan?!" She turned her head and saw Arlen on top of him. "Doctor?? Edi??" 

Arlen muttered something before he brought up the omni-tool for a scan, needing to see if they had managed to short-circuit the nanites in his body. 

"Again, Edi. _She_ did something to him Captain." Arlen explained quickly. 

And Kaidan thought they were trying to fry his brain. 

Edi did as Arlen asked once more despite her Captain's protest as Kaidan cried out again in pain. 

"I do not think we should do it a third time Doctor." 

"No, no we shouldn't, but they have been disabled," Arlen said as he scanned him and sighed. "If we have had more time, you could have.. hacked into them and reprogrammed those nanites." Quietly Arlen wondered if this would ever stop now with Her being around. _She_ was as bad as any criminal. 

"Is there anything else I can do to help Doctor?" Edi asked softly. "The Captain is attempting to get up without assistance. 

"Tattletale." Saya mumbled, sitting up. 

Arlen looked at Edi, wanting to ask her if she could get rid of Mrs. Gemla. Or at least keep her out of his refuge. Maybe he should place a trap somewhere just for her. He liked having Edi around, she gave him a sense of security as well, kept noisy people away and made sure he could work. 

Kaidan groaned and reached up to touch his head and hissed. Whatever they had done had caused a migraine and he shielded his eyes. The whole head was filled with thousands of sharp needled picking away at every braincell like a roaring fire. 

Irimsaya moved Arlen aside when she heard Kaidan moan and she gently began massaging his temples. 

"I'm here Kaidan... I'm here..." 

"Please Captain, be careful," Arlen pleaded with her for her own health, but let her do it. Somehow he figured she needed to do this and to feel needed. He took Edi by her hand, wanting to avoid any noise and led her outside.

 Kaidan groaned again. "What happened?" 

"I don't know sweetie... Edi had to use overload on you a couple of times for some kind of nanites I think..." 

"Nanites...? Overload...? That explains the murderous poundings in my head.." 

"What do you remember Kaidan?" Saya asked in a soft voice, still gently massaging his temples for him. 

Kaidan frowned a bit and turned his head towards her voice, keeping his eyes closed. "Why are there nanites in me? What I remember...? Why? I.. uh.. was talking to Elaine and she broke my wrist. I .. ah.. slapped her." Kaidan opened his eyes and looked at his wrist. "It doesn't hurt.." 

Saya's hands stopped of their own accord. 

"That was several hours ago Kaidan..." She stared at him in concern. "Do you remember saying you want me back on the ship?" 

"What? No, I said this? You're sure I did?" Kaidan paused, staring at Saya. Then he slowly looked at his wrist, which should have hurt a lot. But it didn't, it didn't even tingle. 

"My wrist has been fixed, when was this?" Kaidan said thoughtfully, not remembering anything. Nor that he had told Saya to get to the ship. 

"Maybe I did say it, I don't know. And when I did, this means I had.. a good reason... Wait, I'm missing hours?" Kaidan sat up slowly, groaning. The head was a killer for sure. "Why would I suddenly.. develop a case amnesia?" 

Stroking his head, Saya glanced over to where Arlen was with Edi. 

"Doctor? He's missing some of his recent memories of the last few hours." 

Arlen slowly walked back, head spinning with thoughts and nodded. He was slowly but surely reaching his limit for the day. 

"Elaine," Kaidan said, "she said if I don't comply she'll kill someone I love." 

Arlen scanned Kaidan's head. "I'm sorry ma'am, there isn't a lot I can do. I have never seen someone using nanites in such a way. And these nanites, this tech, is nothing I have ever seen before either." 

"So what do we do??" Saya stopped herself when she looked at Arlen. "I'm sorry.... I'll do what I can for him you get some rest." 

Kaidan was thinking, trying to remember anything after he had slapped his so called sister. 

"I..," Arlen began, thinking hard. But sleep, it sounded so good. "If there had been more time I would have suggested Edi trying to hack them. They are tiny mobile platforms, a little bit like the Geth. Maybe..," he closed his eyes to think better, "she could try to see if one of them can be accessed and read, or something, or tell us more about the programming and... who did it and what it was for. And the biotics, the Commander said she hit a device. I think it's nothing in his body or brain, it's around here, surrounding us. If that is true, however, it would mean no biotic would be able to use their skills. _She_ could disarm an entire team without anyone noticing it..." 

"What you're saying is that we need another biotic here to test it." Saya said, gently caressing Kaidan's hair as she spoke. 

Arlen nodded. "Yes Captain. Miss Nought is still upstairs, correct? I heard she is a powerful biotic, if she could test it?" Arlen looked at Edi and was about to say something else, but suddenly that thought went into nothing and he looked frustrated. The other thought was still there though. "Would you be willing to try and hack into a nanite and see what it does?" 

"She is still upstairs. I would be willing to attempt to access the nanite's - only after you have had some rest." Edi answered and crossed her arms, watching him. 

Kaidan looked at their doctor and at Edi, these two were interesting to watch he thought. 

Arlen just stared at Edi, mouth half open and the eyebrows were knit together in thought and somehow disbelief too. No one had ever sent him to bed before. His dad hadn't minded when he had stayed up late and long into the nights, sitting over books, doing experiments and more. Eventually he bit his lip in thought, matching the narrowed eyes. 

"Okay... okay.. I go and.. sleep.." Arlen nodded and moved to the next free bed. He laid down and was suddenly staring into Edi's eyes. While he hoped the Krogan would arrive soon he also thought maybe they would be held up, causing Edi to stand guard longer. The eyes were interesting and he nearly said they were.. nice to look at and what were they made of? How did they work? People said eyes were the window of the soul, what did this mean for Edi? She had a soul, he believed this and she was his friend. Something he hadn't had before, a friend. 

"Can you... take off.. this orange visor? Your eyes.. I would like to see them." 

Edi cocked her head to one side then raised a hand to her temple and turned it off. 

"Does this meet your request Arlen?" 

Arlen watched the eyes for a while, even studied them. They were fascinating and interesting while he felt very comfortable. 

"Yes. They are... enthralling," he smiled and yawned then, closing his eyes. 

Edi actually felt herself smiling at his comment then at his face as he fell asleep. She then went to the door and stood guard. No one would get past her this night.

 

Kaidan turned back to Saya, wearing a subtle grin on his face for a second before he grew serious again. His head still felt like someone had put it under heavy pressure and the missing memories weren't coming back. 

She could see it in his eyes and it worried Saya. What if they hadn't been able to destroy the nanites... would he have lost all of his memories. Silently she stroked his hair again.

Kaidan took her quietly into his arms then, wondering what had happened in the time he was missing. 

"Was there anything I need to know about? But you know, I think I was right. As much as I like having you close to me, I'm too worried about your safety. What will she do and is willing to do?" 

Saya closed her eyes, feeling safe again in his arms. 

"You said she was going to kill me if you didn't do what she wanted." 

"I won't allow this to happen." Not again, his wife had been through enough recently. Kaidan sighed and shook his head. "I don't understand how anyone can become so corrupt and evil." 

"Maybe she's been indoctrinated and doesn't know it..." Saya was frowning at the thought. 

"Mmh," Kaidan nodded. "It could be possible, couldn't it. We saw Saren being indoctrinated, Matriarch Benezia. Do you remember those imprisoned salarians on Virmire? They were just mindless husks... We don't know enough and with the end of the war we never looked deeper. The only person who did is dead." 

Kaidan shook his head at the thought of sanctuary. And if she was indoctrinated, Kaidan was more inclined to put her out of the misery of committing horrible crimes while trapped in her mind. Like what he had done himself. 

"I.. I think being indoctrinated comes close to wearing a control chip. People are forced into doing things they would never do willingly." 

"Kaidan... are you still blaming yourself for giving them the Normandy's codes..." Saya shook her head a bit. "Please don't." 

Kaidan sighed. "I don't know, a little bit Saya. It set things into motion which weren't good for any of us. But right now I'm more concerned about you, myself, Jase and his people and those around here who are suffering from someone on an ego trip. Did you know she wants me to become Captain and the Shadow Broker? I'm perfectly fine with my position and my life. I'm happy, I don't need more." 

"Kaidan..." Saya's voice was still quiet. "I know you won't remember but we said you would play along with her until we try to figure things out..." 

Kaidan's eyebrows knit together and he looked at her, now even more worried. "Who tried to mess up my memory anyway. Was it Elaine?" 

Biting her lip, Saya nodded slowly. 

"From what I overheard... Yes." 

Kaidan nodded slowly, sorting this out in his mind. The woman was dangerous, very dangerous and if he went along with this, he had to fear for his life if she wasn't pleased with what he did. 

"The only woman I'm taking orders from without being a Commanding Officer is you, Saya," Kaidan eyed her and continued. "You want me to play along and find out what's behind all of this. If she's indoctrinated or if there's something or someone else. What about the real Shadow Broker? We should.. warn the Broker." 

"Let me handle Liara." Saya said softly. "It will give me something to do while I'm stuck on the ship." 

Kaidan felt pretty relieved to hear she was going to the ship. But she had said the name. Kaidan gave her a peck on the cheek and whispered, "Someone freed this room from any listening devices? I'm scared Saya, for all of us. But I'll do it. Because I have a strong woman at my side and I love her and I'm very proud of her." 

"Edi did a scan, don't worry. And Kaidan..." Saya blushed at his compliments. "I have faith in you that you can do this. Because I love you so much." 

Kaidan smiled and gave her another peck. "How soon do you think should I go and talk to her? I'd want to stay for the night." 

"The morning will do. I want one more night with you before my banishment." 

Kaidan nodded and laid down next to her. They weren't alone in the room and that alone made him feel more comfortable.

 

Early in the morning Jase woke up and rubbed his face from the last dream. He kept seeing Saya lying under Udina and somehow his mind has managed to place Elaine right next to them, grinning madly. The pleas coming from Saya had been mixed with Kaidan's voice, calling out to him and begging him to help. For a moment Jase tried to picture himself sitting at the beach back home, listening to the ocean and hearing Pepper's bark. 

Joker yawned as he woke up, feeling Jase moving around. 

"You okay?" He mumbled. 

"Yeah, just.. the usual. Been a hell of a day. Got some more time till the Krogan arrive." Jase turned and laid back down, cuddling close. "Jeff, I'm starting to feel indifferent again. I need to feel something. Make love to me, please. Let me feel our love." 

Joker groaned and rolled over to face him. 

"Seriously? Now?" 

Jase's eyes were just watching him for a while. Carefully he shielded his emotions as the rejection felt like a slap in the face. "Sorry, you're tired. Go back to sleep." 

"Jase seriously, talk to me. Why... why is it happening to you again?" 

"Self preservation. Feelings never did me any good as a kid." With a sigh Jase closed his eyes and moved his face closer to Jeff's shoulder, knowing he needed to break this habit. "Saya. I saw.. Udina, on her, moving." 

"Okay keep going, I'm listening." 

Jase nodded and considered his thoughts, forming them into something he could articulate. 

"Men, I love them. Their back, broad shoulders, long legs, buttock, the front. Chest hair. The whole thing. But men using their genitals as a weapon, deadly, painful, destroying something they shouldn't. When we're having sex, making love, we give something away. We're vulnerable. It requires trust, love and partly submission. There's something we give willingly to the other, a part of ourselves by opening up in ways." Jase sighed and placed a kiss onto Jeff's shoulder. 

"What Udina did to Saya, it was .. painful. It was.. disgusting. I don't know Jeff, there are no words for it. But it hurt me inside. That the sex I desire is capable of destroying something as precious as a woman's soul, like Saya, who's able to gift life by giving birth. Who's worth it to be protected." 

"Some men are just asses Jase. Edi told me she even saw whip marks on Saya. *Whip* marks. I wish you would've let me use a bullet on him.." 

"My god, whip marks? I should have ripped off his nuts and fed them to him. By god, I wanted to. Instead I put a few bullets into his head. Each had a name. One was for.. the other you." 

Joker smiled a little bit at that. 

"The other me would love you for that. 

That brought a smile onto Jase's face as well. "The other you's probably happy too, knowing his sister got her brother back. Sorry for falling asleep on you while you two were talking. I like your sister." 

"That's good cause she absolutely adores you." 

Jase chuckled softly, finding this nice. "Good I told her we're married. Saves us the pain of unwanted courtship." 

"Yeah.... yeah okay..." 

"Jeff? Something's on your mind. Talk to me." Jase reached out and laid his hand on his chest, playing with the fur a little. Maybe he was just tired but something seemed to be bugging him. 

"What's bugging me is you wanting to have sex first thing in the morning in New Omega while there's trouble brewing..." 

"Making love," Jase quietly kind of corrected him. "There's a time where I can stop thinking about what's going on around us. That's when I'm with you." 

"Right." He was quiet, wishing he could voice what was really in his head. "Then do it..." 

Jase leaned up onto his elbow, frowning and was watching Jeff's face in the darkened room. "No. You aren't someone just to be fucked. What's going on." 

"It just doesn't feel right to me. Doing it here. I feel.... exposed." 

"Okay," Jase simply said, accepting it. 

"Annnd now I've let you down. I wish things were back to the way they were when we were on Earth." 

"You didn't." Another frown showed up on his face. "Things. What kind of things." Earth. Hawaii. Beach, kids, dogs, cat, fish. Jase sighed, he missed their home. 

"The air, the house, being around the twins, the ocean.... everything Jase." 

"Yeah, me too. Going swimming with you, cooking for the kids. Our room, the horses. Kaidan's garden. Sleeping in with you. Waking you up with my hands all over your body," Jase grinned. 

"Careful or I'll send you for a nice cold shower..." Joker smiled a very little bit. 

Jase chuckled very softly. "There's a reason why it's called morning wood. And it's all for you." 

"Well this lumberjack really isn't up for it here. I'm sorry Jase." 

Jase smiled down at him and gave him a kiss, "That's okay. Won't stop me from loving you." 

"Good... cause the syrup in that wood is too sweet for me to let go of easily." 

"Too sweet, huh." Jase chuckled softly at this and laid back down, closing his eyes, while gently running his hand through the fur. "I have this _dream_... I'm coming back from a mission and visit you in the cockpit. I close the door and lock it. Edi's not there and I slowly walk to you, wolfish grin on my face. You turn around in your seat and.. we're getting dirty." 

"Ahhhh Jase? Cold shower. Go. Now. Otherwise I'm worried you'll start erecting a log house." 

Jase chuckled softly, gave him a kiss and got up to have a _hot_ shower instead. "Get some more sleep. I'll be around."

 

Half an hour later Jase sat quietly in the room, going through the many messages and reports. The first of many ships had arrived along with a few ships from the other races. Grunt and their Krogan support had hit New Omega and Balak had even offered to give them some extra security troops too. Surprise. Something good was definitely happening again with all the races of the galaxy and Jase smiled at this.


	18. Joining the Lion's Den

Saya hugged Kaidan tightly, closing her eyes.

"You damned well better come back to me in one piece Commander Alenko." She whispered in his ear, knowing Wrex was waiting to escort her back to the Normandy.

Kaidan nodded, not trusting his voice yet. Going into the lion's den and pretend to join his sister and be her slave wasn't anything to look forward to.

"Love you," he whispered and gave her a kiss on the cheek and saw Joker joining up with Wrex. Which made him feel a lot better too. "I'll comm you, if she lets me."

"Love you too and you damned well better Mister Alenko... or you might find yourself a Major again." Saya teased softly and kissed him gently before joining Wrex and Joker.

Kaidan chuckled softly and nodded, watching her leave. After taking another deep breath he went to find Elaine.

Elaine looked up when Kaidan entered the room she had acquired as her office.

"Kaidan." She smiled. "What a pleasant surprise."

Kaidan nodded at her and didn't sit down, standing behind the chair instead. 

"I don't know what you want from me Elaine. I don't understand this. Maybe you can help me to?"

Elaine frowned as she realized his memory seemed to be intact.

"Kaidan... come now, let's be friends like we always have been..."

Kaidan went and sat down across her. "I'm sorry for hitting you."

"You really think sorry will cut it brother?" Elaine narrowed her eyes and went to the other side of her desk, leaning against it and putting herself right in front of him. "Sorry won't work. Perhaps a sacrifice will though."

"You broke my wrist...! You should have at least apologize too, Elaine. Weren't we just trying to be friends?" Kaidan eyed her wearily when she got up and started to walk the room around him.

"I have nothing to apologize for. You should know your place Kaidan. At my side where it's always been."

"Okay.. so we just forget about this and bury it," Kaidan said, thinking just how delusional she was by not being able to distinguish between him and his other self. "Elaine.. what do you want me to do?"

"You will be the Shadow Broker again Kaidan. I promise you that. I will find the one in this reality and kill him or her. Then you will take over. You're so good with information... I need you in that position again."

Kaidan nodded at this. "I haven't had a chance yet to work with information," he carefully told her.

"Hmm well we'll fix that. But first, just in case I have someone find my generator..." Elaine moved behind him and pushed his head forward. "This is going to hurt Kaidan and I'm sorry for that..." 

She put a device on the base of his neck where it would be hidden by his uniform and armour and sighed softly as it dug it's 'tentacles' in, attaching to his spinal column.

"A generator?" Kaidan grunted out, surprised at how swift she was. When she had pushed the head forward he wanted to throw up a barrier and knew he couldn't. The biotics were still off. As soon as the thing touched his skin and invaded his body Kaidan felt himself going limp and he slumped forward, head hitting the desk once again. The pain exploding in his neck went into his whole head, down the spine and he wanted to scream. All that came out were short puffs of breath.

"Ssshhhh the pain will pass Kaidan, I promise." Elaine watched as the device lit up and she smiled. "Perfect. Now I don't need the generator. I can control your biotics with just this. Some Reaper tech was definitely worth saving."

Kaidan just kept on breathing against the blinding pain in his head. First the wrist, then the memory gone, the anti biotic or whatever she had done before.. and now this.

Elaine stroked his head gently.

"I promise the pain will be gone soon Kaidan." She gave him a painkiller. "Here, this should help."

Kaidan wanted to jerk his head away from her hand but his neck had gone stiff.

"There there my brother. See? The pain's gone. It's just to control your biotics, promise. I can't have you going off without permission and maybe even trying to use some kind of biotic skill on me now can I?"

"I wouldn't use them on you Elaine," he whispered, "you're my sister."

"I can't trust you on that Kaidan. Not after you hit me. And now you're sporting a nice piece of Reaper tech."

Kaidan slowly sat up, trying to get the stiffness out of his neck. She had implanted him with Reaper tech? A cold sharp feeling of fear rushed through his chest at the thought. And the dull throbbing wouldn't go away either.

"How did you get hold of this? Who developed it?"

"You'll find out soon enough - when I'm sure I can trust you. Shall we go for a walk?"

Kaidan nodded, rolling his shoulders carefully again. He didn't want to, but he was supposed to play along.

"Come along then brother. Let me introduce you to some people."

"Yes Elaine," Kaidan replied, curious to see who else was here they hadn't met yet.

Elaine helped Kaidan to his feet then walked with him to the portal area.

"Just ask me if you have any questions brother."

Receiving help from her was an actual surprise, something he hadn't considered possible. Kaidan noted the countdown and dodged a few people walking past them as the place was heavily crowded. He had a lot of questions actually, but settled with the most obvious one.

"Where's your energy source for the portal?"

Elaine laughed a bit.

"You're not ready to know that yet Kaidan. I have to be able to trust you first."

Kaidan shrugged a little as he looked all the consoles. "I don't know Elaine, you told me to ask and that's what I found interesting. When did you come over here for the first time."

Elaine nodded a little bit.

"True, I did say that didn't I. Well we can discuss the power source later. As for how long I've been here... I came through with Udina."

"Okay and when did he come over? Why was it necessary for you to join him here? Couldn't you have run the project from the other side?"

"A few weeks ago I guess and no, it had to be run from here. Running it there was drawing the Reapers to our location."

"But wasn't this what you had planned? Luring them over here? Or did you and Kaidan change their minds and bring over any survivors you could find?" Kaidan asked as he watched the countdown going down even more. Soon more people would join up. "Is using the portal painful in any way? When we found Jase, he had passed out and I remember his heart rate being erratic."

"We were able to stabilize the passage and yes *my* plan was to lure the Reapers here... but I was out-voted."

"But that was after they realized what they had done, right? If they hadn't sent Jase over, he'd have freed your galaxy of the Reaper threat. Who wanted him gone and who out-voted you?"

"Be careful which questions you ask brother. There are some I will not tolerate."

Kaidan groaned inwardly but kept it cool and wanted to test the waters now. "If I don't ask them I can't know which one you won't tolerate. Maybe you can answer what you want. But you have to agree, if the someone who did this to him had known of the consequences your galaxy wouldn't be in such dire need of help now."

Elaine sighed audibly.

"Fine but be cautious."

Kaidan stopped walking and looked at her. "Hey, why just don't you tell me what you can. Like, why did they send him over, how did you happen to join the project. Those kind of things. You know, this concerns my family and you're part of it now."

Elaine stopped and turned to face him.

"He was the strongest, bravest soul we had. I knew he could survive over here if he made it. I joined up because I can think of every possibility imaginable, every outcome that could happen. Then I became the project lead."

Kaidan nodded, considering his next words. "And you ... allowed it despite knowing your brother and he were a pair?"

"Knowing that was the reason I volunteered him." Elaine answered.

Kaidan wanted to shake his head at this but didn't. "You disapproved of their relationship?"

"Yes. I don't like Jase. Never have never will." Elaine sneered. "He always thinks he knows what's best."

"Mmh," Kaidan only replied, wondering if she thought the same about Saya if she would know her. "Why have you given him Kaidan's dog-tags then?" Kaidan wondered and added, "I've seen them Elaine."

"I figured he would show you." She snorted a little at that. "I gave them to him to cause him pain; why do you think? He caused me enough pain."

"What happened?" Kaidan wondered and began walking around a little more. The depths and mysteries of someone who wasn't really... well, he didn't know if she was sick or not, but something definitely had happened to cause such behaviour. "Jase said he never knew Kaidan had a sister. Not even I told anyone about my little baby sister. It just hurt too much talking about her. She died too young."

"Enough questions." Elaine snarled at him and took him back to her office. "You can go for the rest of the day but your biotics remain under my control. Tell anyone about what I put in your neck and your wife won't see another day. Got it?"

"Yes ma'am," Kaidan answered, glad he was able to flee from this madness.  
  


Edi turned when she heard familiar footsteps coming towards her.

"Commander Alenko, are you well?"

"Yes Edi, I'm fine," Kaidan smiled at her tiredly. It wasn't even lunch time yet and he was already worn out. "I need to see the doctor, my wrist is hurting." Kaidan told her, hoping she'd come with him.

She cocked her head as she looked him over.

"I believe you need to see him for more than just your wrist Commander."

Kaidan nodded and just went into the room and sat down. He wasn't here to see Arlen and started to type up a quick report for Saya. As soon as all the basics were done he hit sent and sighed, rubbing his head. Kaidan felt bad for thinking he was lucky having no sister anymore. If she had meddled with his relationships like Elaine had done with his other self... Kaidan shook his head.

Edi stepped up behind Kaidan and pushed his head forward.

"What is this??"

There was a crack in his neck and Kaidan groaned when the pain settled in again. 

"Something to suppress my biotics. Are you monitoring my wife on the ship? Because if Elaine finds out someone knows Saya might be in danger. I don't know why or how she'd do it, but I think she _might_ be able to."

"Wrex never leaves the Captain's side and I am always monitoring her as well. Why does this appear to be Reaper technology? Is she trying to indoctrinate you?"

Kaidan felt extremely exhausted from the past few days. "Dear god, I hope not. It's to keep my biotics off."

"Come and lie down. I will guard your safety." Edi said firmly.

Kaidan nodded and laid down with a sigh while trying to sort out his thoughts. He could only imagine what the other Kaidan had gone through with such a sister and why he had gone willingly to her. All those questions were still not answered and, of course, Elaine refused to. Having lost Saya for two years had been hell and it was not an experience he wanted to repeat willingly. 

Kaidan groaned and rubbed his head. 

What if the other Kaidan had known, or had found out soon what his sister had done after Jase had disappeared? And Jase himself had thought Kaidan had died. Had the lovers both been hopeful to see each other again? Kaidan knew he himself would have, if it had been Saya.  
  


Saya read Kaidan's brief report with a small frown but smiled at the "I love you" addendum at the bottom of it. She missed being with him so much it almost hurt. When she looked up from the report she found Wrex hovering over her again.

"Wrex..."

Wrex chuckled in his deep voice as he leaned down to her. 

"Trouble, I can smell it," Wrex sniffed, "it's usually the strongest around one of you Shepards." 

Turning in her chair, Saya raised an eyebrow at him.

"Why Wrex... That almost sounded like a compliment..."

Wrex laughed this time. "Yeah...," but then he crew serious. "It would be if the smell wasn't strongest down in that hole. People are afraid. Very afraid. They don't look right or left. They do what she says."

"Tell me your thoughts of her Wrex."

"She talks too much," Wrex said and kept looking at Saya. "And yells. Then she yells some more and her people duck their heads. They have no squad. Unlike you and your brother. Humans are so squishy but look at you. The galaxy fires at you, you fire back. Like a true krogran. She is nothing without her loyal slaves."

"And I left Kaidan with her... What was I thinking..."

"Mmmh." Wrex looked thoughtful. "My boys are itching to fight. We could knock some heads," Wrex felt excited with this thought and rocked on his heels. Everything close by rattled. "Shepard, you look like you want to knock some too."

"With what they did to me Wrex I could rip someone from limb to limb."

Wrex gave her one of those famous krogan smiles. "I see. You aren't ruled by fear, unlike her. She fears her minions."

"Wrex you damn well know it takes a lot for me to fear someone."

"You never were," he simply stated. "You found my family armor. You convinced me to fight Saren. You and your brother cured the Genophage. I'm proud to call you my friend. Shepard, the battle-master! I'm surprised no one sent you a breeding request." Wrex leaned in and whispered in his rough voice, "I would file one myself if I wasn't committed to Bakara." Then he walked away from her to his place. "There are no fish in your tank, have you eaten them all?"

Saya was too busy staring at Wrex in shock over the breeding comment. It took a minute for what he said about the fish to sink in.

"I...uh... no no I didn't eat them..."

Wrex nodded, thinking it was too bad the tank was empty as it did make a good snack bar.

"Wrex... you don't *have* to stay in my quarters you know. You can go wander around. I'm perfectly safe here."

"Your brother will have my squad if something happens to you." Wrex said and went to the door. "Call for me when you're ready to rip apart that base. Wouldn't want to miss it."

"I promise to tell you and don't worry so much, it'll make you *soft*." Saya grinned at her old friend.

Wrex laughed at this. "I might die of old age. Then I'll be soft."

  


* * *

  


Jase was roaming the base around the portal, watching all those busy people. The silence at times was eerie and only disrupted by Elaine's occasional bark of an order. The woman had changed from someone he had liked to someone he now didn't trust at all. Or actually even hated. The thought of taking her to Hawaii and giving her a permanent home had been erased from his mind after Edi had given him the recordings.

Hawaii. Home. He hadn't been home for weeks. At least the kids seemed to understand and kept in touch with him via messages and brief chats on the terminal. Hilary and David would have grown a lot and Jase had no idea how Saya and Kaidan were coping with being apart from their children. 

Jase yawned and rubbed his eyes, the sound of the portal opening drowned out any other noise and chatter. More people were piling into the lab and were ushered away into rooms to check them over. The last group was on their way to get upstairs and to their embassies. By now the ambassadors of all the races had arrived, together with their helpers. They were sorting these people, getting them onto the ships in the orbit, whisking them off to their new homes.

Was it enough? 

No, it wasn't. It could have been so much more, Jase knew this. But it was what he was able to do now, making sure his people had a future somewhere here in this galaxy. They'd find their place. Just like he had. The colonies who had been hit hard were a good place for them to start, helping rebuilding. Agriculture was in dire need of people too and a planet like Thessia could use the extra hands. If they all worked together, as they had done in the war and made sure the balance would be kept, Jase trusted they all would be fine and the food would be enough as well. Even earth had enough room now to take in survivors.

His eyes fell onto Edi who seemed to be discussing something with their young Doctor. Jase grinned a tiny bit, watching the two of them standing at the wall. They were close to the makeshift med-bay. The doctor was handsome, smart and young. Even naive, Jase mused. Maybe this was also why Edi liked him.

The feeling of indifference was back, never had really left after the brief chat with Jeff. Jase felt too calm inside, as if nothing was going on. Maybe he had become a robot along the years or too good at locking away his feelings and emotions. The dog-tags felt warm against his chest and his own just added to the feeling. Since Elaine had told him, Jase had wanted to cry and weep several times by now. Yet each time the overwhelming feeling had happened it had lasted for a few long seconds and as soon as it had hit him it was gone. 

What for, was the question. Why should he cry now? Why waste energy on it? He had known Kaidan was dead, had believed it already after Virmire. He had been wrong though. Yet it wouldn't change anything. It was too late, if she was right. What if not? What would happen if Kaidan was still alive. Jase knew he still loved him in his very own way, felt desire for the man. Not for Saya's Kaidan, but for his own. But he was married, had sworn an oath to Jeff. And Jeff deserved to be happy and the love he felt for him ran deep within him.

Several weeks ago Jase had believed their future was set in stone. And then once again everything had changed. Jase sighed and grimaced a little. If only it hadn't been so extremely bad for Saya and Kaidan. How they were dealing with this, Jase didn't know. He himself had trouble to comprehend what he had seen. It had been devastating. And this was the most worrisome for Jase right now and what troubled him most.

* * *

Edi shook her head at Arlen.

"I cannot tell you what is wrong with Commander Alenko, Arlen. For me to do so would be placing the Captain in grave danger. I highly suggest though that you examine his neck and shoulder region."

Arlen nodded with a sigh, giving in. This was probably the best he got out of her. Before he would go and take a look he needed a snack for lunch though.

"Edi? Would you like to join me for lunch?" Arlen asked, and suddenly he wondered something else. Curiosity got the better of him once again. "Uh... What.. exactly.. is it that you .. eat. No." Arlen frowned, what a stupid thought and question. "Energy of course, right. You need no food. Does your mouth...," he fumbled around his own, indicating it, "have any sensors? How do you.. feel.. or taste? Our lips are most sensitive.. how are yours?"

"I am capable of 'feeling' a great many things Arlen. You could consider my sensors as my skin - the way yours are." Edi cocked her head at him. "Why do you ask?"

Arlen scratched his neck and played around with the curly hair while thinking. "What do you do for socializing? We... organics like to go and eat together but you can't eat, right? You just need energy from the Normandy. And when I ask you to join me for lunch, this would be awkward because I couldn't even ...," Arlen stopped, realizing what he was actually going to say. Buying her food.

Edi looked at him and blinked.

"Are you.. asking me on a 'date', Arlen?"

Arlen wasn't sure, he knew it sounded like this. He liked Edi a lot but wasn't sure about it at all. 

"Well.... I.. I would like to have lunch with you."

"I would like that as well." Edi smiled. "Now if I might suggest you examine Commander Alenko while he is sleeping?"

"Oh, yes. Right. I'll just go and do it." Arlen said and took off, wondering what the hell he just had done. Edi and a date? Lunch, it was just lunch and she couldn't even eat. 

'Nothing dangerous. No, nothing dangerous, just going out with an AI. Going out? You're probably just eating in your med-bay from a tray and talking to her. What if she wants more? Have you seen the hair? It doesn't move and the tip looks sharp. No one can touch her face without getting hurt. What, you're thinking about touching her face? No! I'm just curious. Her.. tech is interesting and the skin looks great and what does it feel like? Of course you're thinking about touching her.'

Arlen grunted something and went to the Commander, taking a look at his neck as Edi had suggested. He gasped softly, eyes going wide and went to investigate this thing on the Commander's neck.

Edi followed him, not wanting him to be alone in case he was discovered by Elaine.

"What do you think Arlen?" She asked in a whisper, not wanting to wake her Commander.

Arlen nearly jumped, having not heard nor seen her and he looked at her bewildered before he focused back on the Commander. 

"I haven't seen anything like this before Edi. The closest I can compare it to are the control chips. This beast here has more tentacles though."

"It is attached to his spinal column from what I can tell - and it is emanating Reaper code."

"Which means.. if what you say is true..," he looked at her and saw her expression. Or rather _thought_ he saw it. 

"Oh I don't doubt your word Edi. He's ... Mrs. Gemla is trying to indoctrinate him? I haven't seen nor met anyone who was or was in the process, I have only heard about it. Like Dr. Amanda Kenson. Or on the Citadel, in our clinic. Dad said he had heard Lady Benezia was indoctrinated and Saren too. He said people were not themselves anymore, some were only a shell and empty and mindless. We need to tell the Captain," Arlen sighed and looked lost for a second. 

"I don't know what to do Edi. If we could deactivate it or block the signal... what about the nanites?"

"I could attempt to reprogram them but that will take time."

Arlen nodded and felt concerned about this though. "Is this dangerous for you?"

"I don't know Arlen. I have never tried this before."

"Please be careful Edi." Arlen told her and was close to say she was the best friend he's ever had.

She turned to him and, acting on instinct, put a gentle hand on his arm.

"I promise I will not injure myself."

Arlen nodded and sighed softly to himself. Treating injuries like cuts and broken bones, a surgery here and there, wounds and bruises was one thing, but this was unexpected.

"Good luck Edi, I'll be here.. and watch over you."

"Thank you Arlen, I appreciate that." Edi smiled then went to look at the nanites.  
  


It was late in the evening and the lab was still busy when the portal had just spewed out another round of 50 possible patients. Arlen set to work, checking each of them for injuries, any illnesses and now for control chips and Reaper chips. Fortunately most of them were healthy, had suffered from hunger or had a few had minor injures which he could help them with. Arlen loved his job and kept working until close to midnight.

"Good evening Dr. Novak," a turian greeted him in a soft stoic voice, "I'm Dr. Tarok Laroktus. I've been sent here by orders of Primarch Vakarian to help you with the refugees."

Arlen turned around, noting just how sexy the turian's smooth and yet raspy voice sounded and it surprised him. He quickly cast a glance at his head and saw it was a male with some nice facepaint when they shook hands. 

"Oh, Dr. Laroktus. Pleased to meet you. Nobody told me I'm getting help. This is .. a nice surprise and would you like to get a tour?"

"Please, it would help me to settle in and benefit my work." Dr. Laroktus replied and Arlen nodded, showing him around.

An hour later he said his good night to his new colleague, took his flute and left the lab with a soft sigh. Finally. Silence.

Edi watched in silence as Arlen left the room and bowed her head before returning to her work. In a way she had been hoping he would show an interest in what she was doing.

Arlen found himself a nice quiet half open duct and sat down inside, beginning to play. After he was through the first song and had played the first note of the next one, he stopped suddenly and frowned. Then he raised his eyebrows and looked at the instrument in his hands and noted the fingernails. Blue and red and taped. While it made playing hard, it wasn't what made him stop.

"Well....," he began softly talking to 'Sarah' and frowned again. There was a feeling inside him Arlen couldn't explain nor pin down or anything. Just a feeling, but intense. He left the duct and went back to the lab, seeking out the person causing this weird feeling.

"Edi?"

Edi didn't turn from her work.

"Yes Doctor?"

Arlen frowned a little. He hadn't noticed how used he had become to Edi calling him by his first name. "Edi? Are you busy? I.. uh.. there's this Doctor and I have some free time. And I was playing and .. you can't hear me here. Your sensors don't reach the place. I wondered.. if you wanted to join me."

"You do not wish these nanites to be finished for the Commander?" She turned to him and cocked her head as if confused.

"Oh. Uhm, yes. Maybe.. how far have you come? Don't you have to take a break from time to time and think of something else? It helps me thinking sometimes and it's easier to put results and data into perspective when coming back from a break."

"I do not require breaks... but if you wish company I can leave this for a little while..."

Arlen nodded and suddenly he blurted out, "Can you move your hair?" Then he winced a little. Sometimes this curiosity really got him into trouble.

Edi smiled a little bit.

"I cannot move my hair Arlen."

No one said his name like she did. Even if the slight difference of pronunciation was subtle at best, Arlen thought it was.... maybe as sexy as the turian's voice? He loved listening to her saying his name. But why was he suddenly thinking of things as sexy, never before he had compared it like this. Something was happening and it confused him, making him question if he liked it or not.

"It looks so sharp Edi, the tip of your hair. What if someone hurts their hand while trying to.. erm.. touch you? Or maybe it's soft but looks so sharp? I found a duct with good resonance," he suddenly switched the topic.

"You may touch my hair if you wish so you can feel it yourself Arlen. And I am glad you found a place to play - I miss your music."

"Would you like to come with me?" Arlen asked again, knowing it was the second time and she would probably point out again that she was working on the nanites. "I have thought of a new song while I was in the ducts."

Edi raised an eyebrow at him then nodded slowly.

"I will come with you. But it cannot be for long, I do not wish Commander Alenko to suffer for too long."

Arlen nodded and lead the way, already feeling lousy for taking her away. But as an AI, wasn't she working on it in her mind, too? Edi was so different than any other human being and Arlen thought it was perhaps because of this that they got along so well. Each of them wasn't someone who just fit in, they were both different.

"Has Dr. Chakwas sent you an answer about my control chip?"

"She is still looking into it for you but asked me to tell you to not give up hope. I will not *let* you give up hope." Edi said vehemently.

Arlen smiled at her a little and nodded while leading her to his duct. "Edi? I'm living with this chip in my head since I've been eight years old. I.. have gotten used to it and it is a part of my body." And as long as no one was activating it he was fine.

"I do not like you having it." Edi replied protectively.

Arlen nodded, knowing how scared and hurt he had felt when the Captain had locked him away in isolation. And the thought of having someone hurt by having been forced to do things had been even more terrifying. He pointed up to the duct and the open space, letting Edi know it was there. Sitting up there Arlen felt safe, a close dark room, just for him where he could hide away. The song only existed in his mind and before he began to play Arlen took off the rest of the finger tapes.

"I haven't played this before," he said softly and slowly, "I have been thinking of it while I was in the ducts watching the Captain and the other slaves. It only exists in my head and maybe it sounds bad and you won't like it and maybe I won't like it either."

Arlen paused and took out his flute, showing it to Edi while keeping his eyes on the precious flute. 

"I would like you to meet Sarah, my flute. My mom was called Sarah and people called me a freak because a child calling his flute after his mother and playing it, they thought it was weird. Mom... she became a slave. And I had a sister, her name was Nealla, she became a slave too."

Edi watched him, processing everything he said and what reaction might be expected from her. Having observed in the past that contact can sometimes be reassuring to humans, Edi extended her hand and put it gently on his arm.

Arlen felt the terrible urge to lay his arms around her torso and rest his head on her shoulder. Instead he laid his free hand onto hers. To his surprise he finally felt that she wasn't cold to the touch as he had thought. Her body felt warm. Maybe she was having some.. heating units in there? Or all those operations and things she had to calculate were creating warmth. When tracing her 'skin' and fingers with his fingertips Arlen was surprised that an AI could feel so real to the touch.

Before he would do something even more stupid and give into the sadness about his lost family and do something embarrassing as crying in front of her, Arlen took the flute and just began playing the mix of an happy and sad, slow and fast song.

Edi listened and analyzed each note as he played it, eventually closing her eyes to enjoy the sensation.

Once Arlen was finished he gave in and just dropped his head onto her shoulder, closing his eyes. The assignment on New Omega had brought back a lot of bad memories and worries.

Instinctively, Edi gently put an arm around his shoulders. She wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do but had witnessed Saya doing it with Kaidan.

It was all that was needed to make Arlen think more was allowed and fine now. He laid his arms around her torso and kind of cuddled closer, sighing softly. He could fall asleep right there, feeling more than secure. Mentally he was exhausted too, from the long weeks and worries about his patients and the extreme worry about his Captain. All those slavers around the place he had seen, the slaves themselves and the hurt and pain they had to endure, caused by those batarians.

"If you wish to sleep Arlen, please do so. I will not leave you." Edi said, surprised at how holding him like this 'felt'.

"But you have to work at the Commander's nanites," Arlen said quietly, "We need to stop the indoctrination."

"I am working on them - I need to figure out a few things and the Normandy has the datafiles so I am there looking through them."

"Oh," Arlen chuckled softly, "you are awesome Edi. You can do so many things at once we can't do and you can be here with me and still work on the Normandy. I .. think there is so much more to you than the eye can see and people don't really understand you," he yawned. "Some of them I think, they don't know how important you are to their well being and I wish I could understand you better. Your world must be so different from ours and you experience things differently...."

"Sleep Arlen and I will attempt to answer any questions you might have when you once more awaken."

"Mmh? You will? Thank you Edi," Arlen sighed deeply but softly and allowed his mind to shut down and drift off into sleep.

Edi held Arlen, monitoring everything to make sure he stayed safe.

  


* * *

  


Joker slowly walked around New Omega while he had some time. He smiled when he saw Hilary at a table working on something and he wandered over to see what she was up to.

Hilary felt someone coming close. It wasn't the usual feeling of someone she didn't like and turned around. As soon as she saw it was her long lost brother she smiled and the dimples stood out even more as her smile grew.

"Joker...!" She said softly but surprised and scanned the area to see if they no one was going to disturb them. "A pleasant surprise to be visited by my brother. Come, sit down."

"Thanks!" He sat down with a relieved sigh. "So... what're you working on? And you are aware aren't you that all work and no play makes for a very determined brother to make you go out and play?"

Hilary giggled. "Is this the payback for me trying to hook you up with someone?" She laughed lightly but then stopped. It had been the other Joker. "Oh, I'm sorry, it wasn't you of course. I don't need to hook you up anymore. You already are."

Joker reached over and put a light hand on hers.

"This is going to take some time for both of us to get used to. For example I never knew you were so damned smart. I heard someone say you're the one who figured out how all this works...?"

Hilary nodded and sighed, having a small grin on her face and rolled her eyes a little. 

"Yes. After the Citadel fell to the Reapers," Hilary grew serious then and looked sad as she continued, "and the Normandy was gone I was contacted by someone and she said they need people like me to bring down the Reapers. She said it was called 'Last Hope' and I couldn't say no. When your world is ending you just do it and don't question it. It gave me something to do, you know. It was a purpose to live on." She giggled then suddenly again. "And here I am. Sitting with my brother who's managed to snatch the hero of the galaxy."

"Hey what can I say? I'm just that charming!"

Hilary giggled at this and touched his arm gently. "You always were prince charming."

Joker smiled at that, he loved the way she laughed.

"Your laugh is so beautiful..."

"The other me wasn't laughing like this?" Hilary asked and smiled at him, wondering if he felt more sad than happy here. 

"Not as much no... She was always full of worry for me."

"Now I'm all ears, what has she done? You and me, we have always been close to each other and we caused our parents some worry," she laughed, "the mischief runs in our blood."

"Did I... did the other Joker... did he have this same disease?"

Hilary sat down and rested her chin onto her hand and sighed softly with a small smile. "Yes, he did have Vroliks too. But this never stopped him to do what he wanted and work hard for his dreams."

"Glad I'm not that much different then!"

Hilary giggled then again and pointed out, "He wasn't into guys. Girls were his dreams and all he would talk about. I remember him telling me how he liked someone on the Normandy. I think her name was Ashley?" 

Hilary sighed softly. "Joker said when your husband disappeared things started to become really weird on the Normandy. Nothing was like anything before. Captain Anderson promoted Kaidan to Commander and they were trying to find out what had been happening on Eden Prime." Hilary paused, watching him with her green sparkling eyes. "Kaidan tried to send your hero a message using the beacon on Virmire. I helped him with this and made it possible."

"Hilary... is he really dead? Your Kaidan? Do you know? As for the message you did good - Jase got it."

She nodded and smiled, pleased to hear he got it. "I imagine it was all messed up though, the message was very hard to send and to encrypt it into the stream." She got up and went to her brother, giving him a hug and whispered into his ear, "Joker. He's alive."

Joker swallowed hard and closed his eyes, gently pulling away from her.

"Is.... will he... is he coming over...?"

Hilary laid her hands onto his arm and nodded. "Yes, when the time is right. He knows about you and ... Jase."

"Yeah.... great..." Joker had tears in his eyes. "Jase still loves him after all..."

"You know him best." Hilary nodded and gently laid her hands onto his shoulders. "Jeffrey Moreau, when I met your husband I saw how proud he is of you and how much he loves you. Kaidan's a gentle soul just like you, he doesn't want to get between you and him. He understands Jase has moved on." She paused, watching him and was hurting for her brother. "I'm not saying it will be easy when he comes over," she whispered, "but thanks to the reports your cook sent us, he knows."

Joker paused and stared at her.

"Our cook????? What???"

"Shh," Hilary nodded and whispered, "maybe I should talk to your Captain too and tell her what I know?"

"I'm sure she'd appreciate knowing we have a spy on board." Joker's eyes were narrowed.

"A spy yes, but he helped Kaidan and me," Hilary told him and stroked his lower arm a bit to calm him down. "Does she have time? I would like to go, now that I have told you. Would you come with me Joker?"

"Sure, it'd be good to be back on the Normandy." Joker smiled. "I should tell Jase though."

"Jeff," Hilary whispered, "just be weary with the mistress, she doesn't know anything about this and it needs to stay this way." Then she gave him a hand to get up, ready to go with him.

"Ahhh okay... Wonder where I left Jase..." Joker looked around at all the people hoping to see the head of the man he loved.

Jase was just talking to some newcomers who had been given clearance from the turian doctor and he pointed them in the right direction. The tingling sensation told him someone was watching him. Hopefully it was not the dragon called Elaine, he thought, as he carefully scanned the room while giving the last survivor a firm handshake. Then he found the green eyes watching him and his face lit up with a smile as he went over to him.

"Hey Jase." Joker smiled as the other man closed in. "You okay if I take Hilary to the Normandy? She wants to talk to Saya."

"Yeah, that's fine," Jase answered and gave him a gentle hug and a kiss. "Introducing her to the family?"

"Not really." After he returned the kiss. "This is kind of official business - and you and I have to talk in private later."

Jase nodded, wondering what this was about as he scanned the room again, observing the people working there. "Sure, it's getting late. Need to catch some sleep anyway. Grunt can take over for me, might as well come up and sleep in my own bed for a change."

"Sounds good - at least there there's no unwelcome ears listening in."

"No, there aren't," Jase answered with a small grin on his face, looking forward to have some private time with him. "As soon as I'm done I'll be on the Normandy."

"In that case I shall eagerly await your arrival." Joker grinned, kissed him on the nose, then turned and left with Hilary for the shuttle.

Jase was watching the pair of siblings walking away, grinning and wondered if he and Saya looked the same.  
  


Hilary giggled softly when they entered the shuttle.

Joker glanced at her with a raised eyebrow as he got into the pilot's seat.

"Did I miss the joke?"

"No Joker, you didn't. You two are just so cute and I have never seen you in love before," she answered with a grin and sat down.

Joker snorted a bit but he was grinning. He still couldn't believe he had his sister back. He launched the shuttle and piloted them to the Normandy.

Hilary enjoyed the ride, it was the first time he had taken her with him to somewhere he was actually working. When she exited the shuttle she was already in awe about the ship and its size. She had no words for this and just looked around. 

"Thankfully the Captain lets me use the shuttle on planets otherwise it would have taken us ages to get to this landing site. So what do you think of her?"

"Gorgeous," she said. "I saw the Normandy before you became her pilot. You brought me to her and we were watching her being built. But then she was destroyed and Cerberus focused on the portal. Nobody ever built the SR-2."

"Shame. I'm pretty sure this ship and our two Shepards turned the tide of the war."

"You're right Joker," Hilary sighed softly, following her brother. Then there was a smile on her face and she nodded. "I know she picked Jase. I think she wanted to get rid of him and never bothered to think twice about the outcome."

"Well who could have anticipated what happened? I mean the warning came from the beacon at Eden Prime and Jase wasn't there to tell you about it."

Hilary looked sad then and was quiet for a bit. "We never knew what hit us when the Reapers came through the Citadel and destroyed it. And with it all our fleets eventually. They went to Bekenstein and destroyed the planet and continued to Earth, doing the same with our home."

Joker put a gentle arm around her shoulder and nodded to the door in front of them.

"This is the Captain's cabin..."

Hilary wanted to bury her face but she needed to talk to the Captain first. With a sigh she straightened her clothes and nodded at her brother. "Ready."

Joker smiled a little bit then knocked on the door. After hearing Saya call out a "come in", Joker took his sister inside.

"Captain Irimsaya Shepard I'd like you to meet my sister Hilary." 

Saya turned and stood up from her desk, extending a hand in greeting.

"A pleasure to finally meet you."

Hilary smiled at her but saw right away how tired she looked. She had heard the reports and even more from Udina. The Captain's hand felt a bit cool; Hilary wasn't really surprised by this though and went right to why why she was here.

"Thank you Captain. I'm glad to finally meet you, too. Joker brought me here for a reason ma'am. I need to tell you something about Darian Salvar. He has been working for me since your SR-1 has been destroyed."

Saya blinked in surprise and slowly withdrew her hand.

"I'm sorry.... What??"

Hilary nodded and sighed softly. "Maybe I should start from the beginning, yes? Darian Salvar was the second person being sent over after they sent our Shepard over. This was Mrs. Gemla's idea, to send both men. They already had the means to exchange simple data across our realities and no one knew about this, not even I." Hilary sighed again.

"Darian was supposed to become the next boyfriend of our Shepard, he fit perfectly what he liked. Someone who needs help and to care for and they both shared the cooking hobby. But they never came together and Elaine was upset. Instead he sent basic reports about Shepard. I understand your Normandy was destroyed Captain, at this time the reports stopped and everyone just assumed he either deserted or had been KIA."

Hilary looked at both of them, wondering how they were taking this. Then she continued.

"Kaidan approached me after our Shepard had gone missing. He knew something was going on and asked me to help him. Joker must have recommended me," she took a deep breath. "We began working together and placed a message for Jase on Virmire. A Captain Kirrahe had gotten in touch with him, telling him about a beacon being there. Kaidan had the plans from the mars archive and we included them. By this time he already was the Shadow Broker as his sister had placed him into this position. Well, we had the means now to send more complex data _and_ messages. I sent a message to Darian Salvar, asking him to forward anything to Kaidan and me instead of Cerberus. He's been supposed to inform you once Kaidan would come over. But Elaine crossed our plans."

Saya was staring at her in shock as Hilary told her.

"What... but... I vetted everyone who came on board my ship! I did background checks on everyone!"

Hilary nodded. "He had complete papers and orders with him, no one would know unless someone tells them. And you only know now too because I need to inform you about it. He is no danger, he is just a simple Alliance marine who cooks on your ship." 

Hilary paused, looking at her brother and the Captain. 

"In his own way, he has helped you to win this war too. Thanks to him Kaidan decided to send the plans and make Jase think he was gone. Somehow he must have felt how important his role would become and wanted Jase to let go of his world as good as he could. He said, if he was trying to find a way back home he wouldn't help you against the Reapers."

She watched them again. "We saw the vids of Jase moping around on the SR-1 at night before he fell for Joker. Kaidan said if this doesn't stop, he'd get himself killed soon."

Irimsaya rubbed her face as she tried to sort this all out.

"So let me get this straight. You admit to me you put a spy on my ship and then you expect me to trust you..."

Hilary shook her head. "Captain, I did not put a spy on your ship. Cerberus did and it was before I met Kaidan. Darian cut ties with them."

Saya stood up slowly, still obviously in pain and she saw both visitors wince in sympathy.

"Well then I appreciate your honesty."

"I don't really know what Mrs. Gemla has planned, but it is nothing good. She uses devices on her minions and fills them with fear, threatening their family, friends." Hilary told them and continued. 

"She also leads Cerberus. She doesn't think I know, but Kaidan told me. Councilor Hackett and I helped him to fake his death to save him by letting her believe she has killed her brother. But Kaidan's alive and waiting on the other side for the right time to join us."

She paused again, knowing that once Elaine was shackled they could bring him over. 

"We witnessed a great many things with thanks to Darian. He told us about Ilos and how you defended the Citadel and took down Saren. Our history has become so different from yours by taking one man out of our universe.. it is so hard to believe. We also saw the footage of the Collectors invading your ship and that they were once phroteans. With his help we at least understood who they are."

Hilary turned to her brother and smiled at him. "I was so proud seeing you walk the Normandy trying to help and get the ship back under your control. I was cheering at you despite knowing it ended well." She sighed softly and looked back at the Captain. 

"And the plans Kaidan got hold of several years ago were the key to saving your world and so many people. Darian also provided us with the knowledge of your arrival here at New Omega and we were able to put our plan into motion, letting Mrs. Gemla think Kaidan has died and preparing everything for the moment you would discover us. To save the few that are left of us. It saddens me that we could not protect you from Udina, Captain Shepard. If I had realized and known what he was doing beforehand, I would have tried to stop him myself. Please accept my apology."

Saya stared at the woman before her, a small shine of respect in her eyes.

"Thank you for being so honest with me, I appreciate it Hilary. But... what is it you want from me?"

Hilary was watching them and a small grin formed on her face. "I needed to tell you all this... Kaidan and I need to secure Mrs. Gemla away from the portal, to open up the way for him and ensure the save transfer of our people. She might close it down or have other plans. I have heard rumours of her being indoctrinated as well, but we both are unsure if this is true."

Irimsaya nodded slowly.

"I've asked my Kaidan to stay close to her and he is - but she's rendered his biotic skills... well...useless."

"Oh. She has a generator in the basement. She doesn't know that I know, again. It's sending out a signal, something even I haven't figured out, but if someone cuts the power supply to it, it can be rendered useless. Of course there is a catch. The power supply is a beacon, the same we are using for the portal. We would need an engineer to take it offline, someone smart."

"You mean someone like you?" Saya smiled.

"Yes," Hilary replied and smiled. "If I knew we had some backup and people will support me and protect me from her, I will do it."

"I have two Krogan who I'm sure would be happy to do that for you. And Jase too I'm sure." Saya grinned. "Of course Wrex might grumble at not being my bodyguard..."

Hilary giggled at this but she was surprised they were friends with the krogan. "I saw the one krogan who was on your ship while you fought the collectors and later the pair with the salarian doctor. I'm surprised you are friends with them. Barely anyone can imagine being friendly towards a krogan, most people just fear their rage. I'd be honored to have them as my bodyguard."

"Wonderful, gets Wrex off my back. Do you know what it's like having a Krogan wait for you while you're in the shower?"

Hilary paused, "Uh, a too quick not wet enough shower with a scary shadow looming in front of you door asking for fish as a snack?"

Irimsaya started laughing hard.

"You know them better than you think!"

Hilary joined in and looked at her brother, she went over to him and hugged him. "By god Joker, I have missed you so much and I'm so happy to finally have met you Captain Shepard. Seeing you on the vids doesn't do you any justice, you are a very remarkable woman. Just like our Shepard."

"I appreciate the compliment Hilary - thank you so much. Now - who wants to break the news to Wrex?...

Hilary didn't know if she should do it as she barely knew the krogan. And it might be best if...., "I am not sure if I should do it. Wrex doesn't know me."

Saya chuckled softly and turned back to her desk.

"I'll handle him, I was kidding." She flipped on the comms unit. "Wrex could you come to my quarters please?"

Hilary watched as the big krogan called Wrex joined them in the cabin, she could already see that no one would try to touch her as long as Wrex was around for protection. Of course the krogan tried to argue with the Captain and Hilary had to chuckle at this which earned her a bit of a grunt from Wrex. Eventually that was settled though and she shook his big hand.

"I'm Hilary Moreau and pleased to meet you, Wrex."

"You are of the same family," Wrex replied as he sniffed at her a little. 

"Yes, Joker is my brother," she replied not knowing what else to say.

"The pleasant peasant has a sister?"

"Yes," Hilary nodded again, feeling a bit unsure.

"We will get along just fine," Wrex said chuckling deeply and slapped her onto her back. 

Hilary nearly fell over. "Uh, yes," she giggled, "I think we will."

Wrex then turned to Saya, "Shepard. I will send up one of my boys to keep an eye on you."

Saya watched the exchange in amusement then shook her head at Wrex.

"I'll be fine Wrex. I'm on the Normandy and I doubt Edi will let anyone in who might hurt me."

Wrex wanted to reply something but figured insulting Edi wasn't good and arguing with a Shepard never did him any good either. He grunted a yes and thought he might send one up anyway.

Meanwhile, Jase was on his way to the Normandy, wracking his head on what it could be Jeff needed to talk about. Something was going on, as usual and it worried him.

With everything seemingly settled, Joker went to his and Jase's quarters to sit and wait for his husband.

Hilary felt sad she couldn't spend more time with her brother but she believed after everything was done she could talk more. With a happy sigh she left the Normandy to go back to New Omega with Wrex as her shadow.

Jase rode up with the elevator and yawned a little while opening a few buttons. He scratched his scalp as it felt a bit yucky from the sweating. The door opened and he went straight to Jeff. Maybe later he could visit Saya and see how she was doing.

"Hey," Jase greeted his husband. "Where's Hilary?"

"Hey.. she and Wrex went down to try and disable the generator that's preventing any biotics from using their powers. How are you doing?" Joker eyed Jase up and down.

"A generator? Didn't know that. Might explain Kaidan's problems," Jase nodded and went to him, giving Jeff a kiss. "Tired, but fine. How about you? You look... concerned."

"Maybe a little more than concerned. Elaine lied to you Jase. Well maybe not lied, she thought she was telling the truth but she really wasn't.." He knew he was rambling but he couldn't help it.

Jase listened and raised his eyebrows a little bit when he sat down next to him and laid his hand onto his leg. "I don't trust her, Jeff. What's the lie this time?"

"Your Kaidan's alive." Joker stated, staring at the floor. "The whole thing was a ruse. But Elaine thinks he's dead."

Silence.

Jase was thinking and rubbed his face, so the hunch he had was true. "Alive."

Joker nodded silently. He was so very afraid about what this might mean.

"My god... he's really alive?" Jase said softly, not able to explain that feeling in his chest. It wasn't love, that he knew, it was surprise and fear at the same time. But the visions, the beacon, the messages... they all had said he was dead. He had Kaidan's dog-tags around his neck. 

"Alive." 

Elaine had lied. Jase sat there, blinking. Alive. And he had been sitting here, working hard to get over him and mourn his apparent dead ex-lover while dealing with Saya's Kaidan at the same time and now he was alive? Jase shook his head. Shook it again and his hand moved up to Jeff's back towards his neck, caressing him.

"I need a drink. Want one too?"

"Yeah sure why not." Joker tried to hide his feelings about this turn of events but knew he was failing.

It took a minute before Jase got up and brought over a full bottle and two glasses for them. While pouring each of them a drink he kept looking at Jeff.

"It's nearly four years now Jeff," Jase said and handed him the first glass before downing his own and refilling it again. Then he sat down next to him and took a deep breath. "Tell me what's on your mind."

Joker swigged down his glass in one gulp.

"You still love him."

Jase sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Yeah, but it's been too long. But, there's a catch. I love you too. Just wait, Jeff. Kelly has been trying to help me sort this out. I never broke up with him, he just... 'died' on me. I have never fallen out of love ..., unlike when Paul broke up with me."

Jase truly hoped this wouldn't tear them apart. The topic had always been touchy and Kelly was good to talk to. Jase got himself another drink and refilled Jeff's. Falling out of love was a long and painful experience too. But getting torn apart and having to grief for someone who was present nearly every day of the time. It was hard. And once his mind had finally understood to see the difference, it had been a lot easier to deal with Saya's Kaidan and to mourn his own. But how to tell this Jeff?

"The catch is, I love you. I married you, swore an oath to you. I have... changed. It's no lie when I say I'm still here thanks to you. You kept me sane." Jase gently ran his hand up and down his back, wishing Jeff would look at him. "You need me. I'm your world, I know that. I love you Jeff, I don't want to lose you either."

"I get all that Jase - I really do. But when he comes through." He looked up and saw Jase's surprise. "Yeah Jase - he's going to be coming through."

Well, it answered at least one of the questions he had and he nodded slowly. Jase took several deep breaths and shook his head again. 

"Jesus... okay. Okay. How will that go...? I.., if I'm there I go and shake his hand. We might give each other a hug and a clap on the back. I'd want to introduce you to Kaidan and we'd talk. Or maybe you two go and talk. I don't know Jeff. Something like this. Being friends with him."

Joker's mood was growing more solemn, he couldn't help the worry he was feeling.

"I'll uhm... yeah I'd do that for you..."

Jase carefully turned Jeff's face around to look at him really. "I get you, too." 

Jase felt the alcohol and allowed his brain to talk what he was thinking, while caressing Jeff's face gently. Kaidan had been gone for so long, now he was alive and joining this world at some point. It was so hard to believe but he knew it was true. So many thoughts were rushing through his mind he was barely able to snatch a few and voice them.

"We're a married couple, let's do this together as it should be. You and me, we're in this together. It's been nearly four years since I spoke and saw him last, Jeff. He might have become a different person. Or has grey hair. I'd like to talk to him, if you feel comfortable with me doing this. I'd need your trust too. Hey... I still want that kid with you. Go back home with you to Hawaii, care for Jeremy and the kids. Tend the horses. Sit on the beach with you, smiling and thinking, yeah, alright, it's not how I imagined my life many years ago, but it's fine. I did it again.. saved a few more people and.. yeah. I'm doing alright and feel happy."

The bottle was nearly empty and Jase left it at this. Instead he looked back at his husband and leaned a bit closer. "What's.. your thinking on this? What do you want me to do? Talk to me..."

Joker closed his eyes for a moment before answering.

"I want you to do what feels right I guess."

"Jeff, but what feels right for you?" Jase wanted to draw him close and wrap his arms around his man. He wasn't going to destroy what he had with him.

"I wish I knew Jase. I both want you to see him and not. I'm both jealous of him and not. I don't know..."

Jase nodded and took his hand, trying to draw him closer. "Yeah. I'd be the same if it was you meeting an old lover of yours."

Allowing himself to be drawn into Jase's arms, Joker sighed deeply.

"I'm scared... I don't want to lose you..."

"You know," Jase said with a sigh, "all those years you were always scared of losing me. Be it in combat, or leaving you, not loving you, dying... It's time that ends. I know what I have with you and I don't want to lose that either."

Joker fell into another silence, not really sure of how to respond other than those three little words.

"I love you Jase."

"I love you too Jeff," Jase said softly, giving his head a kiss.

"I'm just... I'm scared you know? I really can't say that enough. I mean what if you see him and you want to be with him again??"

"Yeah. I'm scared of that too. I have to admit that Jeff. But. It's been nearly four years. It's been a very long time and I have changed. Kaidan surely too. He might not want me back. Or has moved on, found someone else to love." Jase sighed and nuzzled his neck gently. 

"You and me, we've been through a lot. Good and bad times. I _know_ you. If I have to decide and break a heart, it won't be yours Jeff."

"That helps Jase... a lot. Thank you." Joker said softly then kissed his husband.

Jase closed his eyes, returning the kiss and wondered where he knew this from. But he didn't want to upset him any further. While it was really incredible knowing that Kaidan was alive, he also feared the day of seeing him again. And was looking forward to it. After such a long time so many things had happened and they surely had a lot to talk about and catch up with each other.

"It's good to know I'm not the last one. We're filling this reality with people from my reality. Makes me ... glad."

"If you're happy I'm happy." Joker said though he was thinking that their reality was getting crowded pretty fast.

Jase frowned a little and lazily played with his hair on his neck. "What's on your mind? Something with your sister?"

"No not that... I... well I overheard something down there that's bugging me a bit..." Joker slowly confessed. "And I don't know if it's true or not. But I heard mention of our Kaidan being indoctrinated..."

"For heavens sake." Jase narrowed his eyes, thinking. "Elaine...," Jase growled softly. "She's no good, not to be trusted. People are afraid of her and downright awkward at times. Why would she try to indoctrinate him."

"I don't know... I just overheard someone talking..."

Jase nodded and rubbed his eyes. "Thanks for telling me Jeff. If there's talk, there's usually some truth to it." He sighed and yawned. "I need to talk to Saya."

"First you need to sleep." Joker stated. "And I won't take no for an answer."

"Yes..... mom," Jase chuckled softly, clearly a bit drunk and tired. He looked at Jeff then with pleading eyes, "I need a shower, I'm dirty. Join me?" Washing each other was always a very special way to show love too and something Jase highly enjoying doing to Jeff, loving his body in a completely different way. He yawned again. "Tomorrow, in the morning. I'll talk to her. See how she's doing. And keep an eye on Kaidan."

Joker smiled a little bit.

"A shower huh.... count me in."

Jase nodded and once they were untangled he got up, helping Jeff to their bathroom for the promised shower.  
  


Early in the morning Jase was watching Jeff sleep and decided to let him have some more, he carefully leaned down and gave him a kiss before heading over to Saya's cabin. He sighed and rubbed his eyes again before he knocked.

"Come on in." Saya called out. She'd had a restless night, not being in Kaidan's arms, and was already hard at work at her desk.

"Morning sis," Jase said as he marched inside and kept himself from hugging her in the last second. He had no idea if she was comfortable with this or not. "How are you?"

"Morning Jase." Saya turned to greet him, smiling a bit. "I'm... okay I'm tired but alright otherwise - what about yourself?"

Jase scratched his neck, thinking she was.. not really okay but chose not to comment on it. 

"I'm... fine thanks. Tired, too. Jeff told me something he overheard somewhere. It's about Kaidan. Elaine must be trying to indoctrinate him."

Saya winced a bit when he said that.

"Okay that part I didn't know... he and I agreed he would go in 'undercover' as it were to try and figure out what's going on with her."

"Undercover. Okay. You can't trust Elaine. She lied about Kaidan's death too." Jase went to the wall and leaned onto it, watching her.

"Yes Hilary told me that last night.. I thought it would be better if you heard it from Jeff."

He nodded at this, something he would like to talk about later. Right now he was more concerned about her Kaidan. 

"Hilary. I'll keep an eye on Kaidan and...," Jase frowned. He had suddenly forgotten what he wanted to say about Kaidan, indoctrination, Elaine.

"I forgot what I wanted to say," he told her, confused.

"Happens to the best of us Jase. Right now I'm trying to figure out *how* she could indoctrinate him. I've asked Edi but she's being evasive with an answer."

"Kaidan's _already_ indoctrinated??" And Edi avoiding an answer was unusual. "Edi, what's going on. And don't give me any bullshit."

"I never said he was *already* indoctrinated Jase!" Saya's eyes were wide.

"What would you like to know Shepard?" Edi replied to Jase.

"Sorry," Jase replied to Saya's half outcry. "Sorry. Why are you avoiding Saya's questions. What's going on with Kaidan?"

"I am not at liberty to discuss the situation." Edi responded.

"See Jase? She won't tell us." Saya looked frustrated.

Jase shook his head. "Edi. You're a member of this crew and serving on an Alliance vessel. What you can discuss and not discuss is not your call to make, but the commanding officer's. The Captain wants to know what's going on, answer her."

"Even if it puts her life in danger Commander?" Edi said.

Jase paused and looked at Saya, gauging her reaction to this. "You're onto something down there, Edi?" Question was, would they trust her with this?

"Doctor Novak and I are attempting to... resolve a situation that has arisen."

"Uh-huh. Doc and you. How's the progress?"

"Frustratingly slow. I am... concerned." Edi admitted which made Saya sit up a bit straighter.

"About what Edi? We might be able to help."

Edi seemed to hesitate before responding.

"Mrs. Gemla has implanted a piece of Reaper technology onto the Commander's spinal column. If we attempt to remove it he will be paralyzed. I am attempting to reprogram some nanites to see if they cannot be used to disable the device."

Saya's eyes were wide and she had gone deathly pale.

"Reaper tech. God damn it. I should have.. whatever. Alright. You reprogram the nanites and that's going slow."

"I have stumbled onto a couple of hidden viruses in the nanite's programming. I now have to examine each one's programming before attempting to make them work for us."

"Alright Edi," Jase nodded, "good work. Stay on it. Anything else?"

"There is nothing else to report right now Commander."

"Thanks Edi." Jase said and looked at Saya. "I'll keep an eye on him."

"I should go back there..." Saya protested.

"I know," Jase replied but knew she wasn't well enough for this. "I'm sorry. For everything."

"None of this is your fault Jase. Please don't ever think it is. And if you wouldn't mind... I could really use a hug from my brother right now." Saya's voice was cracking a bit.

"I could use one too," he answered and went to her.

Saya took him into her arms and buried her face in his neck.

Jase sighed deeply and closed his eyes, feeling so damn glad she was able to hug him. He carefully caressed her with only his thumb and was quiet for a long time until he spoke up. 

"I missed you."

"I missed you a lot more Jase." Saya whispered. "Remind me never to do that again okay?"

"I will. Never again." Jase replied softly, vowing it too. It was the worst experience for a woman to happen. He couldn't even imagine what it would be like for himself.

"I need another favour Jase. Bring Kaidan back to me. Please."

"I will. As it looks right now I'll even bring two of them back."

"We have to find out what Elaine has planned though Jase. For now just... Watch over him for me?"

"Yes," he nodded. "I want to know why and how she is able to indoctrinate people. How this can be stopped and if there are more indoctrinated."

Irimsaya gently pulled back from the hug and nodded her agreement.

"When do you want to go back?"

"After I had something to eat. I seem to be out of the loop. Is there anything else I need to know?" Jase already figured he shouldn't let Elaine know he knew Kaidan was alive.

"Don't let on how much you know Jase. It could put Kaidan at risk - either Kaidan. If she knew the other one was alive who knows what'd she do to mine..."

"I won't tell her. Nor jeopardize their lives," Jase promised. "Join me for breakfast?"

"If I'm allowed to. With Wrex back at New Omega with Hilary, Edi's been over doing her protection detail."

Jase scratched his head a little, he really seemed to be out of the loop. "Why's Wrex with Hilary? Something's happened?"

"Ooooh sorry I forgot that bit. Hilary is going to kill the generator that's inhibiting biotics from being used. I sent Wrex and Grunt with her for protection."

"How... Never mind. Makes you wonder what else she's got hidden 'down' there." It was like discovering some ancient ruins, finding out more and more. Just like they had done with Saren years ago.

"That's exactly what worries me the most Jase..."

"Should send Doc or Kasumi down there, let them sneak around. See what they can find. At least," he sighed, "we're rescuing people. I don't think anyone understands how good this feels not to be the last one anymore. To see them coming over, knowing they can live in peace here. And Kaidan's alive...," Jase chuckled a little bit. "Can't describe the feeling."

"Well let's see if Edi will let me have you as a guardian while we eat shall we?"

"Commander Shepard will be just fine Captain. Enjoy your meal." Edi said before being asked.

"Great! Let's go before she changes her mind!"

"Just fine, huh?" Jase grinned and shook his head, following her.

"Edi's become a little bit... overprotective of me since you guys got me out of there again. That and Elaine's threatened my life if Kaidan doesn't do what she wants."

Jase nodded but thought it might also have something to do with Doc having been there as well. "Elaine. That woman means trouble. As sad as this sounds, I'm glad your Kaidan didn't have her here. Who knows what she'd have done."

"Just don't say that in front of him Jase." Saya sighed and sat down in the mess hall after getting some food. "This is definitely better than those slave rations..."

"You know my record with women, most of them meant trouble for me." Jase sighed and dove into his food, nodding at her comment about the rations.

"Darian knows how to cook, he's good with it. Doesn't even need my advice anymore," Jase grinned a little and fell silent while eating. 

"Erm...." Saya bit her lip. "There is one other thing you should know Jase...."

Jase frowned, wondering what else there was. Were they feeding him something step by step?

"What is it," he asked her softly.

"Darian... he's uh.... he's from your reality..."

Jase looked at her dumbfounded and stopped eating. "That's a joke, right?" But the way she looked he knew it wasn't one and Jase pushed his food away, not hungry anymore. Instead he looked over to the man in question, finding himself growing angry.

"He's been here the whole time and doesn't say a fucking word?? Why?" Jase didn't get up, haul his ass over the kitchen counter and demand an answer from the man. Instead he just sat and stared at him before tearing his eyes away to look at his sister. There was a nagging thought and something he had seen came back floating into his memory.

"Udina's file. Testsubject DS. Has stopped reporting in and is assumed dead. Darian Salvar. Classified file. God...," Jase said and rubbed his head. "It's been under my nose all the time, I never _looked_. I had your key."

Saya reached across the table and gently put her hand over his.

"You couldn't have known. After he stopped reporting to Udina he started working for the shadow broker in your reality. For your Kaidan."

"What...?" Jase said softly. Kaidan and Shadow Broker? Darian reporting to him? He could have send messages, letters, whatever to him. Could have gotten something in return, if possible. But instead, nothing.

"Jase... your Kaidan *is* the Shadow Broker." Irimsaya went silent, needing to eat something.

Jase nodded mutely, he had gotten that part.

Slowly Saya ate a couple of bites, her eyes never leaving her brother.

"Talk to me Jase..."

Jase shook his head again. "It's nice to know someone had a connection to back "home" and didn't bother to tell me."

"And what would you have done if he had told you Jase? You would have fixated on getting back. Darian knew he had to keep you focused to help us. To help me. Think about it."

Jase sighed and shook his head. "Yeah, I get that. Doesn't mean I have to like it, but can only accept it. It leaves a pretty sour taste. It's a job I never signed up for. Kaidan being the Shadow Broker, having a sister too. What else? At least I found you, Jeff and a home".

"You are my brother Jase. And you always will be. I hope that's some comfort to you."

"Personally? For myself? Yes. Getting a few of my people over is something I never dared to hope for. Getting Kaidan back is even better. Jeff is the icing on a cake including everyone who comes with it. For my reality and people, it's a disaster though."

Saya rubbed her forehead and sighed.

"What do you want to hear Jase?"

Jase scratched his neck and sighed softly. 

"What do _you_ want to hear Saya? That I'm wrong? Right? Happy? Sad? In love? Comfortable? Broken? I'm all of this. Talking isn't my thing and what I'm saying now might sound wrong. Hell if I knew." Jase frowned. Sometimes everything felt so easy and sometimes it didn't. And that only made him wonder how Saya was dealing with her own problem.

"I've been seeing Kelly. She's good. It helps. Getting those 2000 people back per day feels good. Like, really good. Having you as my family feels damn good. There's a price. Gaining you costs many lives in my world. Saving my world costs this world. No matter how hard you try, people will die. No win win."

Jase began eating again, hoping it might encourage her to do the same. He might as well tell her what he also had told Kelly.

"You asked about the Citadel. The people had been butchered. The evidence of it was on the way to the console. I didn't expect to survive. London was Akuze, just on a bigger scale. You and Jeff kept me going, Kaidan brought me home, we went to our vacation and I was drowning." Jase paused and drank his coffee.

"Luxury. Anyway. I understood what my role at home would have been. What I was supposed to do but couldn't _and_ yet I did it. I didn't understand why you became so depressed about the whole issue because you are me and I'm you. I knew you could have done it too. I projected myself onto you, forgetting while we might be the same person, we aren't. I robbed you. Without wanting it. We both have been used. I'm damn glad you got Kaidan. It wasn't helping though to grief for someone who was always present. I finally got it when we moved into our home. Anderson told me to get help. I did." Jase snorted softly, but grinned a little.

"And then you dig up Udina, turns out he had a complete file on me, including vids. We find the lab. Last night Jeff told me about Kaidan. Today it's about Darian. I feel used, that's my problem. Something's happened. It cost a lot of lives. If it hadn't, it cost a lot of lives too. I can only accept it."

Jase picked the crumbs off the plate. "After Virmire I wanted to kill myself. I was close. But...," he smiled a little, eyes getting moist. "There was Jeff. I couldn't and I destroyed the gun. He found me and just loved, _loves_ me for who I am. Thank _you_."

With a sigh Jase looked over at Darian and nodded. "Yeah. You're right. If I had known I would have tried to find a way home. Would have tried to save them."

"And by that point Jase it would have been too late anyway. And you would have most likely been killed. I try to give you your space when you need it but..." She bit her lip. "I care about you too much to let you suffer alone like this."

"Thanks. I'm getting better. Wouldn't be here if I wasn't. Now," he looked at her and leaned forward. "I can say the same to you. How can _I_ help you?"

This time it was Saya who pushed her plate of food away.

"I wish I knew Jase but I don't. I dream... I remember everything they did to me..."

Jase nodded, knowing what he had seen was enough for him already. And that had just been a very short amount of what they had done to her. He sighed at something.

"I'm sorry. I wish I hadn't kissed you. I don't even know how you pulled through this and came out sane. I'm glad you're here."

"If I didn't have you and Kaidan I don't think I would be sane Jase. In fact I think I would be far from it."

"Yeah. And Kaidan. I need to go back down, keep him safe. Bring him back to you. I've been wasting enough time, but I needed the talk."

"Be careful down there Jase. And thanks, I needed it too."

"Saya... if you ever need to talk, cry or don't want Kaidan to know, come to me. Even in the nights. I'm there for you."

Irimsaya smiled a bit at that.

"Thanks Jase. I might take you up on that some time. But for now... can you go check on my husband please?" She smiled sweetly at him.

"Yeah. I will. Keep an eye on Jeff for me please, if you can. He's ... scared about my Kaidan showing up."

Jase got up and brought his plate away before he joined Saya's side to lean down. "I'll bring him back home to you. Talk to you later."

"And I promise to keep Joker busy until you get back." She smiled secretly. "I hear Edi's... tubes... need some cleaning..."

Jase snorted and chuckled. "He doesn't have my combat drone." Then he leaned closer to her ear and whispered, "You might want to send our Doc into it.. she likes him more."

Irimsaya turned her head to stare at him.

"She... what... you're kidding me..."

Jase shook his head at her with a grin. "She insisted on rescuing him from the duct he fell into. She's where Doc is."

Saya groaned and put her face in her hands.

"Please don't tell me our AI is in.... love..."

Jase just shrugged. "Doc's someone special. As different as they are, if they're bonding, it'll be a very unique pair."

Irimsaya nodded slowly.

"I'll... think about the implications later." She leaned up and kissed Jase on the cheek. "You should get going."

Jase grinned a little at the kiss. "Love knows no boundaries. Yeah, I should go." He gave her a very soft kiss on the spot above her ear and walked away. 

At one point he'd go and talk to Darian. At some point he'd talk to his Kaidan, asking why. At any point he'd go back home and just be happy, have a kid with Jeff and help raising the twins while caring for the shelter. 

Jase sighed deeply. A million people would be saved in about a year. If they were lucky and the Reapers wouldn't destroy the facility on the other side.

* * *

Edi looked up from her work when Jase entered the lab they had set up on New Omega.

"Shepard. Welcome back."

"Give me an update Edi." Jase said, noting that their Doc was busy in the background checking out patients again.

"Commander Alenko is currently with Mrs. Gemla." Edi actually sounded pissed off. "We could not keep him here. Something is happening. We are still receiving survivors as well."

"Thank you Edi. I'll go, find him at once. Keep me updated on the nanites as well." Jase said and left to find Kaidan and Elaine.

Elaine was almost ready to slap Kaidan (who was very pale from the pain of his indoctrination).

"Stop arguing with me Kaidan!!"

"What's going on here?" Jase nearly barked while fingering his own Kaidan's dog-tags. The moment he had entered the room he'd seen enough already. Kaidan looked like hell. Jase knew right away his head was pounding like mad and he locked eyes with Elaine while saying, "Kaidan go. Let Doc give you something against the migraine you have."

If Elaine was going to make as much as a wrong move Jase knew he'd stop her. 

"None of your damned business Shepard." Elaine sneered at him. "You never could keep your nose out of things could you?"

Kaidan gratefully slipped from the room and leaned against the wall in the corridor to wait for Jase.

Jase shook his head at her. "I don't know what you're talking about, Mrs Gemla."

"Get out of my way." Elaine went past him, glared at Kaidan, and headed back for the portal room.

Jase shook his head a little and looked at Kaidan. "Come on, Doc, now." There they could talk.

Kaidan silently followed Jase to where Arlen and Edi were.

"Edi, tell me you have something." Jase motioned for Kaidan to sit down

"These nanites are becoming a pain in my physical butt. Every time I manage to reprogram one, one of the others reverts the changed one's programming." Edi allowed a bit of frustration to colour her voice, noting that Jase was now looking at the angry red area on Kaidan's neck just above the device. "Shepard please do not look it will only anger you further."

Jase frowned and looked away from the red angry looking area. "Edi, why don't you keep a reprogrammed one isolated and only put them back together once everyone's done?"

Edi stopped what she was doing and looked at him as if seeing him for the first time.

"Why did I not think of that..."

Jase scratched his chin a little, eyes flicking towards Doc for a quick moment. 

"Come to me once you're done Edi." It seemed Edi needed someone to talk, maybe he should catch her sooner though. Edi and being disctraced was highly unusual as their AI could calculate anything at once.

"Kaidan, what was going on with Mrs Gemla?"

Kaidan frowned at him, thinking.

"Uhm... oh... I asked her something... she got mad... we argued.."

"Kaidan. Do you remember anything about today, where you were, what happened."

Kaidan stared at Jase for a minute.

"I remember... but it all seems foggy."

"Elaine's indoctrinating you. Have you found out anything today?" Jase asked, worrying a lot now. They should bring Kaidan onto the Normandy and away from that manipulating bitch, including getting rid of that device on his neck.

Kaidan closed his eyes to concentrate.

"Something dangerous will be coming through. Hidden. That's all I overheard."

Whatever this would be, it meant they had to check even more closely. Maybe someone else indoctrinated. A weapon, a virus. They'd have to screen anyone coming over even more carefully.

"Nothing about when or what? What were you arguing about?" Jase asked, knowing this sounded like an interrogation.

"I uh.... something about you I think or maybe it was about Saya... no it was about Saya..."

Kaidan tensed a bit when he felt Jase's hand on his back to comfort him then winced as Jase then felt the device Elaine embedded there.

"Hurts, doesn't it? What about Saya? She misses you." Jase looked long at the device and eventually withdrew his hand. Something was familiar about this thing, but he couldn't pin it down. He scanned it, comparing it with the databases he had access to, but nothing matched it.

"Yeah it hurts." Kaidan mumbled then took a deep breath. "She threatened to kill Saya again."

"She won't succeed, I'll see to that myself. Doc?" Jase turned around, looking at the young handsome man. "Take a look at his neck. It's painful."

"Yes Commander." Arlen nodded and went over to Kaidan.

Jase went over to Edi and took her aside. "Let's talk. Something keeps you occupied and it's not your work. Talk to me Edi."

Edi turned to him again.

"It is... hard to explain Shepard. I feel... different somehow."

"Something's happened Edi?" Jase wondered.

Edi allowed herself a small smile.

"I.. am uncertain. Arlen seemed to want my company earlier - just the two of us. I am attempting to interpret that."

Jase's eyebrows rose and he grinned a little. This topic was at least something more positive than anything else going on down here. "Looks like he likes you. What were you two doing?"

"I was listening to him play his flute and then he fell asleep using me to cushion his head."

Jase had to hide his grin. No kiss? Nothing? 

"And you're trying to figure out what this means. He's comfortable with you." Which was about the only thing he could say, but he wondered. "Was Doc in a relationship before, Edi?"

"I do not believe he has ever been in a relationship Shepard."

"Well," Jase began, "sounds like he's careful. It's safe to say he's comfortable around you, though. Trusts you, too. He might be afraid to do something wrong."

"I do not think he could ever do something wrong." Edi sounded so certain, there was no doubt in her mind.

"Alright," Jase nodded, knowing she was in love. "Get the nanites done, Edi. Doc and you, you'd make a nice pair." He padded her shoulder a little.

"Thank you Shepard. I appreciate the 'vote of confidence'."

"You're a good friend to me Edi. Just make sure to keep your focus. If you need to talk, come and find me." Jase smiled at her before he left. 

That device puzzled him, he knew it had seen it somewhere else before. But where? It was Reaper tech. Cerberus came to mind on the Citadel when he had seen that ugly looking 'enhanced' human. No, he hadn't seen it only a few months ago. Saya and anyone else would have recognized it. Earlier. Collectors? No. Saren? No. Eden Prime? Nihlus? No.

'At home,' came the answer in his mind. Yet again, where? They never had discovered any of it, not knowingly anyway, before he had left his reality. No, it was a bit earlier.. Earlier.. '2181'. That was the year when he had met Kaidan. The power flickered for a second and Jase looked around as it did it again.

"Edi? Report."

"I believe Ms. Moreau was able to successfully deactivate the generator she was searching for." Edi replied, looking around.

"Where is it located?" Something else he apparently didn't know about. But Wrex was with her, that much he knew. "Never mind. Wrex? You alright?"

"Shepard... yeeeeeah we're okay. The little girl just tried to blow us all up."

"Keep her safe. Anything else down there?"

"Not yet. But I'm sure if you came down we'd finally see some action of some kind heh heh heh."

Jase chuckled. Action sounded good, at least the right kind of it. "You never know Wrex. I might just come down for that."

"Now now Shepard don't tease a Krogan. You never know when you'll meet one in the dark...."

That brought on some even more weird thoughts. "Heard Krogan aren't that squishy. After all they've got _four_ testicles. Just make sure she's coming up alright Wrex."

"Remember who you're talking to Shepard." Wrex growled. "Like I'd ever let anything happen to her."

Jase grinned to himself. "I trust you Wrex. Was just pulling your.. squad." Hitting on a Krogan was definitely weird. Jase looked over to where Kaidan sat and saw he looked extremely tired. Then he thought of something. 

"Wrex, I'm sending something to your omni-tool. Take a look at it, let me know if anyone of your people have seen something like this." Once the message was sent he also forwarded it Miranda and Liam and sent another note to Liara.

Kaidan was watching Jase, wishing he could sleep. But with sleep came the shadow-filled dreams and he didn't like them one bit. He refused to tell any of them about the dreams though.

Jase went over to him. "Is there anything else we could benefit from and keeping you close to Elaine? Saya should be safe on the Normandy."

"She told me she got Darian onto the Normandy who's to say she didn't get someone else on board." Kaidan shrugged a bit. "I really don't feel like myself...."

Jase wanted Edi to hurry the hell up. Kaidan wasn't doing well and he actually wondered how long he could hold on before giving in to whatever demons Elaine had planted into him. Possessed. That was the right word actually. Instead of bugging her, he sent Edi a message. He had a bad feeling with this. Someone else than Darian on the ship? Who knew, but the nagging thought that Elaine was trying to use Kaidan to take out Saya was his main worry right now. And Kaidan. And his Kaidan. After talking to Kaidan he was going to send his report to Anderson, instruct their people, update Wrex and Grunt.

"Kaidan, what exactly do you mean?" 

"Hmmm? What do I mean about what?"

Jase just looked baffled for a second and then shook his head. "Never mind Kaidan, get some rest. Stay here with Edi, alright?" 

"I can't sleep. They'll get me. The shadows call for me... they call my name... I can hear Ash's voice..."

Jase nodded and took his face into his hands to look at him better. Totally off himself. 

"Ash liked you Kaidan, she wouldn't want you to join the shadows. Just stay here with Doc and Edi. Don't go anywhere else. I'll be back in a bit, okay?" Jase looked over at Edi. "Edi, make sure he stays here, let no one close unless it's Wrex or Doc."

"Yes Commander."

Jase briefly updated his people on the situation and to keep an eye on anything unusual. Then he went to search for Elaine. And stormed right into her office. 

"What the hell have you done to Kaidan?!"

Elaine looked up from her work.

"Get out Shepard you're not welcome in this room."

"Deal with it. I'm here. You're turning your brother into a mindless husk!"

"As it's been pointed out - he's not my brother, not really. And I'm not doing a damned thing to him." She smiled. "I can't help it if he's curious about things."

" **You** put that thing onto his neck. That's your doing Elaine! Your responsibility." Jase pointed his finger towards her. "And you know damn well that no matter which Kaidan, he's curious. Especially when it comes to his family."

"Kaidan is not your problem, *Commander*. I suggest you focus on finding us room for all the survivors."

"Kaidan **is** my problem. He's part of our crew and my family. Doesn't surprise me in the least that Kaidan never mentioned you to me. I understand why. If I were him, I'd be ashamed to call someone like you my sister."

Elaine went to him and slapped him hard.

"How dare you!" She yelled. "GET OUT."

"Truth hurts, doesn't it?" Jase didn't move, staring her down instead. "You're no better than the Reapers. Or Udina. Hard to believe he died for you willingly. If I'd have to guess, I'd say you killed him yourself! And now you are destroying another Kaidan!" Jase pointed towards the room where Kaidan was. "YOU have a serious problem, lady!"

"I was told that technology was safe! That it would just make him want to help me!"

"Elaine. Kaidan's trying to help a lot of people who just ask him nicely. He's getting indoctrinated for christ's sake! Where did you get it from!" Jase couldn't believe it, and he was weary of her now. Who knew what else was going to be a lie and what the truth.

"I don't remember..." She scratched her head. "A man, he said it would be perfect for what I needed."

"Alright," Jase sighed softly, calming himself down for the sake of getting informations out of her. "Tell me how to deactivate it. Do you even know what indoctrination is about."

Elaine shook her head and she actually looked scared.

"N...no.... but I wear one of them too...."

'Good god,' Jase thought. "Elaine. It's Reaper tech. It's using a signal to turn you into a sleeping agent for the Reapers. Headaches, dreams, voices, whispers - all signs of indoctrination. When the Reapers believe they have some use for you, they'll control you. Indoctrinated people betray their own. I saw a few back on Virmire. They were mindless shells of their former selves. The Illusive Man became indoctrinated himself. How do you deactivate it. Why did you receive one?" 

"I was told it was the mark of a leader... of the leader of Cerberus..." She said softly.

"So. You're leading Cerberus." Jase was watching her, someone so young and leading Cerberus. "For how long?"

"I've lost track of time to be honest with you. For a long time."

"Can you deactivate yours. Or Kaidan's."

"I wasn't shown how." Elaine answered in a horrified whisper.

"Maybe there are plans you don't know about. Something in your database. Are there more people who use such devices?"

Elaine shook her head no.

"Just me. I was given a few if I needed to shut off someone's biotics - that's what I was told these other ones did...."

"Alright. We'll find a way to help you. Who gave them to you?" Jase thought she was a strong woman, considering if it was true and she had gotten it many years ago.

"The original leader of Cerberus when he was training me to take over." She turned her back to him and lifted her shirt a bit so he could see the same device Kaidan had - but slightly different as it had blinking lights on it as well. "There's no way to surgically remove it."

Jase grimaced a bit when he saw the scars on her back. And he was sure there were more.

"Was his name Jack Harper?"

Elaine lowered her shirt and turned back to him.

"How did you know that??"

Jase sighed softly and rubbed his face. "I took down the Cerberus HQ before freeing the Galaxy of the Reaper threat. I'm in the possession of their databases. Cerberus turned their back onto humanity and believed they could control the Reapers. Jack Harper was The Illusive Man. His intentions were noble, but he lost himself along the way, becoming indoctrinated himself. He found me on the Citadel, his body was full of Reaper tech, cybernetics. In the end, he shot himself."

"He was dying of poison when he asked me to take over. He said I showed a lot of promise."

"You remind me of someone," Jase simply said, filing away the poison for later.

"Me? Who do I remind you of?"

"Miranda Lawson. Leader of Project Lazarus - Resurrection of Commander Irimsaya Shepard, to free the galaxy from the Collectors."

Elaine smiled a little bit.

"She sounds like quite the woman."

"She is. Miranda's a close friend of ours now. Why do you want to get Saya killed? Cerberus brought her back into life." Jase pointed out.

"I don't... it... it was a means to try and Kaidan to cooperate."

Jase nodded. "Elaine, it's time to stop the lies. Be honest with me. What's really going on here. Blackmailing Kaidan doesn't make him, nor me or anyone else trust you. We can help, we want to. But the foundation of help has to be built onto trust. Right now, that's shaky at best. Talk to me."

"I've told you the truth here Shepard." There's sweat on her forehead and it's from pain. "And it's been a very painful experience let me tell you."

"I can see that," Jase nodded and offered her even more. "I'll help you Elaine. Under one condition: no more secrets, accusations, insults, threats."

"If I can help it I will but sometimes... sometimes it feels like someone else is in my mind, making those choices."

"Do you have someone who can take over temporary. Someone you trust."

"Ms. Moreau is the only person I can trust implicitly. But Shepard... if my agent on the Normandy doesn't get my check-ins... he'll kill your Captain."

"We know about Darian Salvar. He doesn't seem hostile."

Elaine snorted a very little bit.

"Darian's a traitor to me. No, we put someone else on board."

Jase wasn't going to comment on the traitor comment. "Who is it Elaine."

"I don't know... I honestly don't. I just send the messages and he responds using a codename. Chameleon."

"We'll find him. When's the next check-in due?"

"In a couple of hours..." Elaine started to pace nervously.

Jase was watching her pace, something was up and on her mind. "What is it Elaine?"

"What's up?? This! This whole mess! I should never have trusted that... that *man*."

"Elaine," Jase said softly, scratching his brow. "Sometimes things happen. Sometimes, at the time, you believe it's the right thing to do. Doesn't mean it always is. We can fix it. _You_ can fix it. Some people never get such a chance."

"How Shepard? Every single time I go against what this thing feels like it wants me to do... it hurts so much..."

Jase nodded. "I understand. But you're doing the right thing Elaine. Leading people is never easy. You never know if it's right or wrong at the time of making a decision. Later you might find out. Leading people comes with sacrifices, be it your personal life, someone you love, or leaving a home."

Jase moved a little closer to her. "You have a family here, if you don't alienate us. We'll help. You've got two Shepards here and smart people. I need to ask you about something else."

Elaine flinched a little bit as he came closer to her.

"Wh... what else do you want to know?"

Jase frowned at this. "Well, make that two things. First, Kaidan said something hidden, bad will come over. What or who is it? Second, why are you afraid of me. We never met before."

"It's not a who, it's a what. A virus that can kill thousands if not millions. And not even I know where it's hidden." Elaine tactfully avoided the second question.

"Thank you. Another form of a sleeper agent," he nodded. "You're avoiding the second question."

"I'm the head of Cerberus, Shepard. Why *shouldn't* I be afraid of you?"

"Trust me. If I'd have wanted to kill you you'd have been dead for half an hour already." Jase pointed out as a matter of fact.

Elaine nodded slowly.

"Then where do we go from here."

"We fix this. What you're doing here, _we_ are doing here by bringing people over, is a first in history. We need to do it right. Thousands of people are trusting us with their lives. Cerberus has a bad reputation here. Betrayal, only focusing on human rights. You can change that. You can lead Cerberus into a bright future, make it something better. Help people, no matter the race. An enemy doesn't ask about gender or race, they only kill. Jack Harper never got a second chance. You have."

Elaine slowly nodded and forced a small smile to her face despite the pain she was in.

"Let's do it then.

Jase nodded and gave her a smile too. "I suggest starting by handing the lead over to Ms Moreau. Priorities are: the virus, the agent on the Normandy and these devices. You mentioned finding places for people to live, the Alliance is seeing to this."

"I'm assuming the power fluctuation was Ms. Moreau's doing as well..."

Jase nodded. "It was."

Elaine shook her head and chuckled a little bit.

"Why doesn't that surprise me. Alright, get her up here..."

Jase hit the comm right away. "Wrex? Can you bring Ms Moreau to me? I'm in Mrs. Gemla's office." Jase nodded with a grin at the reply coming from Wrex and said to Elaine, "They're on the way."

"She got any fish there?" Wrex continued.

Jase just laughed softly, "You hungry Wrex? We'd need a whole pond filled with fish anyway."

"Are you saying I eat a lot Shepard?" Wrex grunted in amusement.

Jase laughed once more. "Just get up here Wrex." Jase then walked two steps into the other direction, comming Saya. "Saya, got news." Jase then gave her a report of what he had learned from Elaine.

"Great..." Saya replied over the comm. "Should I come to you guys or what? By the way - Joker doesn't seem to be getting along with our new pilot..."

"Everything's under control. That's the second time someone's complaining about him. Edi doesn't get along with him either. Might be our agent." Jase pointed out, too afraid for Jeff now too. The people on the Normandy were always those they trusted and no one had let them down, yet.

"Maybe... Just seems too obvious for me." Saya said softly. "And there are other new faces on board too. I'll keep my eyes and ears open... How's Kaidan?"

Before answering Saya, Jase wanted to know something else. "Elaine, how long's that agent of yours on board of the Normandy?"

Elaine frowned, deep in thought.

"*Maybe* a year if that..."

"Thanks," Jase nodded at her. "Saya, anyone who came to the Normandy about a year ago, give or take a few months could be it. That rules out the pilot. Kaidan is..., well," Jase sighed, "fighting. He's hearing voices Saya, he doesn't want to sleep." Jase knew that on this personal matter she should come down here.

Saya closed her eyes at that.

"I'm coming. If those dreams are what I think they are... he's going to need me."

"Alright, I'll meet you at the entry."

Irimsaya clicked off the comm and headed off the ship. It didn't take long before she was back at the entry to New Omega and waiting for Jase to show up.

Jase hurried up to her, having just received part of Elaine's databases and was typing away on his omni-tool.

"Where is he Jase?" She asked as she met him.

"With Doc. I got Elaine's databases. Maybe I can find something." Jase hooked his arm into hers to help her walking.

Saya smiled a little at him, cringing a bit when a Turian came a bit too close as they walked.

"Thanks for doing this Jase."

Jase gave her a small grin and continued to walk her down. "Elaine. I'm not sure about her. She's trying to do the right thing apparently. I'll be careful around her."

"Is she being indoctrinated too? Like she's trying to do with Kaidan...."

Saya trailed off as they entered the room where Kaidan and the others were. She gasped a bit when she saw his eyes were beginning to change into a blue colour.

"Jase....?" She heard herself say in a horrified whisper.

"Elaine's wearing the same device Saya. Has been for years. She's fighting it though." Jase explained it softly to her again and felt her hold on his arm tightening.

"God...," Jase shook his head, totally bewildered and was frozen for a few seconds, until his omni-tool beeped and he checked it.

"Message from Liara, doesn't know anything about it. Miranda and Liam haven't answered back yet. Edi, tell me you have something. We're running out of time." 

"I believe I have something. I am unsure if it will work and it will take time to fully penetrate the damage that has already been done." Edi was bent over the table then turned and looked at them. "I believe I am ready to implement it."

"Edi, anything's better than being turned into a husk. Do it. Doc and you, keep an eye on Kaidan."

"Consider it done Shepard." Edi moved to Kaidan, who was obviously struggling with the urge to hit her away from him but he kept himself in check as she injected the nanites into him underneath where the device was attached.

Arlen joined her, monitoring the Commander's condition. "Something is happening," Arlen said, "the temperature around the area of the device is dropping."

"Edi, we need a few more nanites for Mrs. Gemla." Jase told her.

"When I am certain the Commander is well once more I will then tend to Mrs. Gemla." Edi's voice was hard with hate.

"She's willing to help us and might be another victim by the Reapers, among many." Jase explained Edi. But there was a point, who was to know she wouldn't turn her back on them once again? Jase sighed softly, there was a lot to worry about. Kaidan, Saya, Elaine, Kaidan again and Jeff. Jeff. Jase went to the side and commed his husband. "Jeff, heard you ran into some trouble?"

"Hey Jase... yeah you could say that." Joker's voice came back. "That new pilot on the Normandy is stupid. He thinks Edi is nothing more than just a computer program and refuses to listen to her. So I went and chatted with him about it."

Jase grinned a little at this. "And you set him straight. What happened next?"

"Oh not much... I just broke my hand and his nose..."

"Jeff! That's not how the Alliance deals with problems. Someone looked at his nose and your hand?" Jase scratched his head and shook his head several times. Then he snorted, chuckling softly.

"Yeah Saya looked after us. And I don't care how the Alliance would handle it Jase, nobody talks about Edi like that when I'm around."

"Nobody should. Edi's special, to everyone of us." 

"Damn right she is. So how're things down there? Miss me yet?"

"I'm counting the hours until tonight, tiger," Jase flirted softly. "It's crazy down here. Had a chat with Elaine, she's been indoctrinated too by the Illusive Man before she became the Illusive Woman. She's willing to help. Edi got the nanites done and injected them." Jase sighed softly. "Let's hope they'll work."

"I take it he's pretty bad off then? Nobody's really telling me anything and I saw Saya fly off the ship in a mad dash. Haven't seen her move that fast in a long time."

"Yeah," Jase answered softly and walked away even more, so they could talk better in private. "Kaidan doesn't want to sleep, says he's hearing Ash and other voices. Dark dreams. His eyes have started to turn blue. We got an agent on board as well. Someone who's joined the crew about a year ago. To make matters even worse there's a virus supposed to come over. If we don't find out who brings it over, we'll have to stop the project. I've got Elaine's database. I need to go through it."

"You know we had a couple of engineers join the crew about a year ago if I remember rightly."

Jase smiled at this. "Alright tiger, how about you discreetly check out if anyone of them could be it? She said he'll expect a message from her in a few hours and replies as 'Chameleon'."

"Oooooh scary codename." Joker found himself amused. "Chameleon huh - got it."

"Yeah, very _not_ unique too," Jase chuckled. "Be careful, okay...? I love you, tiger."

"Hey it's me." Jeff chuckled. "I'm always careful... except when I hit a guy in the nose..."

"I like it better when you kiss my nose. Well, let me know when you found something."

"If I can find anything... wish you were here though you're better at asking those types of questions."

Jase nodded and looked at Edi. "Edi, take over for me down here. Jeff's onto something and needs my help."

"I believe Mr. Moreau might have been pulling your leg." Edi said having been monitoring the communication.

"What do you mean Edi?"

"I have been monitoring all communications to and from the Normandy. I overheard your conversation with Mr. Moreau. I believe he was joking about your return."

"I got that Edi. Why do you think he was pulling my leg?" Jase asked, looking a bit perplexed. Jeff and joking aside, Jase wondered why.

"Perhaps he was trying to ease your mind in some way."

Jase nodded and thought it was better to ask now. "Jeff. Need me up there?"

"Wait you took me seriously? Man you've really got a lot on your mind haven't you..." Joker responded.

"Yeah. I.. did. I do. Indoctrination, virus, agent, broken hand and nose. Elaine, survivors. Saya. Kaidan. A few Reapers on the other side... Sorry. I thought you might be in danger. Edi should check communications, see if she can find any message signed by, or is, from our friend."

"Jase... relax... Jack's back on board now and she's been told by both Edi and Saya not to leave my side. I'll be fine, I promise."

"Alright. That's... good to know," Jase answered softly, feeling overwhelmed as he looked around. People needed him, foremost his family. The offer to help individuals had been said at least three times. Come to me, talk to me, I'll help. We'll help. Kaidan alive and the Shadow Broker. Darian from his world. The virus and Elaine actually working with him. Or trying to. Kaidan fighting to stay himself. 

Jase rubbed his forehead and closed his eyes, doing what Kelly had thaught him. Thinking of a place where he liked to be when the stress was becoming too much. Beach. Ocean, sun, a soft breeze. The sound of the waves and nature. Pepper barking, his horse neighing and Jeff building the sand castle.

This wasn't what he was supposed to be as N7. This wasn't how he was supposed to be as a Commander either. This wasn't how he imagined to be and what he expected of himself. But this was where he's at. A human being. With faults and who makes mistakes. But mistakes cost lives. If lucky, no one was harmed, though. He needed to work with Elaine and Hilary, find out what they could about the virus. Something must be known somewhere.

Saya gently laid a hand on Jase's shoulder.

"Jase? You alright?" Her voice was soft and full of worry for both him and her husband.

"Fine," Jase said softly, opening his eyes to look at her and gave her a slow smile. "Was just.. back home, sitting on the beach with Jeff. Good against stress." He explained quietly.

"Home..." Saya said the word with longing. "I miss my children so much... I have to wonder what they look like now - and if they even remember who I am..."

Jase nodded and rested his forehead against hers. "They'll never forget you."

"I hope you're right." Saya closed her eyes, taking comfort in his contact. "Arlen thinks the device in Kaidan's back will dislodge soon... his eyes are almost back to normal."

"That's good." Jase nodded and hummed that song again. The same when Saya had been under the control of the chip in her neck and fought it in the shuttle.

Irimsaya sighed softly and smiled.

"Are you trying to make me go to sleep?"

"That's what it is for?" Jase chuckled softly. "A lullaby. No one ever sang one to me. Aside of mom apparently." Jase gave her forehead a kiss again. "They won't forget you."

"I believe you." Saya stifled a yawn. "Thanks for being here for us."

Jase grinned a little at her. "Go. Get a nap with him. I'll try and stop a virus. Piece of cake."

"Do you really think you're doing this without me this time?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

Jase was watching her and shook his head then. "No. After you got a nap you'll join me."

"Damn right I will. You're gonna get my help whether you want it or not." She kissed his cheek very gently.

Jase nearly purred at the kiss. "What's it with you and kissing me, I love that."

"I guess..." Saya paused and pulled back to look at him. "I really don't know... it feels right. Like a sister should do for her brother."

"Makes me feel.. good..inside. Something warm, pleasant. Happy." Jase smiled at her and chuckled a little. "Especially as it comes without any strings attached like," he was going to say sex, but instead he chose to describe it, "wanting something from me that I don't want." 

Saya's face closed up as the memories of her slave life returned.

"I should get that rest."

"Saya. Sorry. I don't know how to .. do it right. I'm sorry. Didn't mean to," he paused, watching her. His social skills were really lacking at times, even more when it came to tactful timing. "Didn't mean to hurt you. Or something."

Saya shook her head a bit.

"You didn't hurt me. I just understand all too well what you mean."

Jase nodded solemnly. At least he was able just to say no and people backed off usually. "Is there anything I can do make it better for you?"

Smiling ruefully, Saya shook her head again.

"Not much anyone can do unfortunately Jase. Believe me when I say I wish there was."

Jase nodded. Unlike a file or a written report which could be changed, altered or a passage deleted, they couldn't do anything about this here.

"Love you, sis."

"Love you too my brother." Saya gently kissed his cheek again before turning her eyes back to her husband.

Jase followed her gaze and said softly from behind, "Stay with Kaidan. He needs you. I'll be around."

"To be honest Jase I'm not sure I want you to leave without me." She sighed softly. "I feel this strong urge for some payback."

"Alright. Come with me." Jase wondered if she'd want to spar to blow off a tiny bit of her anger.

Irimsaya took a last look at Kaidan before following Jase from the room.

"Heh... this is my first time here as a person not a slave..."

Jase was surprised to hear she was even down here, so close to the portal. "Udina took you down here."

"Udina took me everywhere he went. Even when he relieved himself." Saya's voice had grown cold with the memories. "He enjoyed knowing I was caged in my own mind and could experience everything but do nothing about it."

"Bastard. Doc's brief reports never mentioned him taking you down here or to the loo." Jase led her to a secluded area, which gave them some room too.

"Well I don't know where Arlen was Jase. I wasn't allowed to look anywhere but at Udina. No matter what he was doing." Saya shuddered a bit. "He... he tried to deactivate my birth control."

"Fucking hell," Jase said as he turned to look at her. "Tried. But didn't succeed though."

"I don't know." Saya said softly. "I've been afraid to ask Arlen to check."

"I could go with you. Be there when he tells you." Jase told her and suddenly.... something with Arlen made sense. Or maybe.

"I would like that Jase. On one condition. Nobody tells Kaidan but me if Udina managed to... Impregnate me."

"Accepted. Let's hope it won't come to that though."

Saya just nodded a very little bit. She was more worried about it then she was prepared to let on to anyone, even Jase.

"So what're the plans now?" She asked her brother.

Jase gently touched her shoulder. "How about you and I spar a little bit."

"You want your ass handed to you?" She grinned.

"Hell yeah," Jase grinned back. "Let's do it." He got ready for her, eyes twinkling.

"I promise to try and not bruise anything - except your ego." Saya smiled as she got into her crouch.

Jase found this amusing and chuckled. "Thanks, I think." It was the least he could do for her. After all she had done the same for him a few months ago. Then he moved, waiting for her first real attack.

Saya moved quickly and expertly, dodging this way and that before she even attempted to hit at him.

There was something special for Jase, always, when he and Saya and were sparring. They both were good at it and the real challenge was to see through their nearly same tactics. Jase dodged and blocked and knew she was still a bit careful.

"If Udina was still alive, what would you do to him?"

"Trust me, you don't want to know." She lunged at him.

Jase dodged and even hit a bit back. "Let out what you can. You're safe with me." Jase pushed forward, giving her a bit of pressure.

Irimsaya shook her head a small bit then struck at him again.

"I can't hurt you."

Jase nodded. He didn't want to push her too hard, having made that mistake before. "I know. I survived a lot, like you. You won't kill me." Jase gave her a hit, having found a weak spot for the moment. "Anger. It feeds us, drives us forward. But then, it hinders us, consumes us. Let go of it a bit."

Saya started to feel tears stinging her eyes as her anger did begin to surface and she tackled him around his waist, throwing them both to the floor.

Jase grunted in surprise, she always was good and quickly turned them around on instinct, pinning her down.

Breathing hard, Saya tried not to panic. She struggled under him then cried out and gave up, sobbing softly as she lay there pinned down.

Jase got off her fast and laid down next to her. "Saya... Sorry.. I'm here, come to me." He offered her an embrace.

Wiping her eyes, she rolled onto her side and let her brother's arms envelop her in a hug.

Jase hugged her carefully and rocked her a bit. "It's alright, let it out."

Saya buried her face in his should and wept profusely.

Jase gently stroked her back and gave her head a few kisses now and then, talking to her softly.

After what felt like ages, Saya was finally able to stop crying.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. "I'm so so very sorry..."

"Hey, come on. You aren't at fault here." Jase ruffled her hair a little. "I did the same with you."

"Hey..." Saya sniffed and smiled a little. "No mussing the hair..."

Jase chuckled a little and nodded. "Sorry." He had no knowledge at all when it came to hair styling.

"Mmmmh you better be..." She mumbled in response. "Thanks for that Jase, needed it."

"You're.. welcome, Saya. Always. Now I got a date with a virus," Jase sighed. "And you got one with Kaidan. Unless you still want to come with me."

"Like I said - you're not doing this alone." Saya responded with determination.

"Alright," Jase patted her a little with a smile. "Glad to have you with me."

Smiling she nodded a bit.

"Let's begin the great hunt then shall we?"

Jase got up and gave her a hand to get easier off the floor. "Let's go."

Grasping his hand gratefully, Saya got to her feet.


	19. An unexpected message

"Where do you want to start?"

"I want to check the databases, interview people. Someone has to know something. Edi needs to give Elaine the nanites, too. If she's been honest with me." Jase pointed out.

"Alright then let's start with the databases."

Jase nodded and took her to Elaine's office where they could work without being disturbed. With a soft sigh he sat down, wondering what they would find. Or could find. Not too long and his world only consisted of data, search parameters and looking through the files since Elaine had taken over.

"Jase..." Saya looked up from her terminal. "I found a file with your name on it."

Jase blinked a little as the silence was disrupted by his sister's voice, startling him somewhat out of his thinking. He hadn't been looking for himself or anyone else like Kaidan. Carefully Jase stood up and went to Saya. 

"Udina had one about me, too. Let's read it together," he said softly.

"It details your relationship with your Kaidan... very intimate details..."

"What...?" Jase looked aghast and dragged a chair over to sit down next to her and they began looking through it together. "Anything, but this? There. They included some vids again. Don't wanna watch them. That's from Kaidan's place," he pointed at one. "We went to his mostly at the weekends. Spending time together whenever we could."

"Well it looks like someone wanted to keep tabs on what you were doing Jase. Here's another file called 'shep-normandy-no'... Someone definitely didn't want you on your Normandy."

Jase rubbed his face. "Well. I got onto the Normandy. I was there when she left the dock for the first time. Kaidan and I had been watching it together." He shook his head, "God. Who would invade our privacy like this? Who did I piss off?"

"Apparently The Illusive Man. These were his files... and then they became Elaine's."

"I don't get this. TIM and Udina had files about my life, career and personal life. Why. Both aren't connected. Weren't connected. Or were they?" Jase said, staring at the screen and thinking at the same time of his personal file Udina had.

Saya rubbed her forehead thoughtfully.

"I'm starting to think they knew each other more than you think they did Jase."

Jase nodded. "Apparently. It's clear from Udina's file that he didn't want me, with such a background, to become first human Spectre. He must have considered me a flaw. But why kept Cerberus a file about my sex life with Kaidan?" He leaned forward and scrolled through the file, shaking his head. "Tsk, there's even listed what I like and don't like. With times.. how often.. when...where. This makes me sick. Why was Cerberus interested in _that_?"

"Maybe to make sure you were the right test subject?"

Jase looked at her with an extremely sad expression and tiredness on his face. "Yeah, but why me Saya. Why me. What have I done wrong... Akuze? Something, someone else? Who chose me, why."

"I wish I could answer those questions for you Jase, I really do. Here's another file, this one's about your Kaidan..."

"Okay," Jase said softly, resting his chin on his hand. "Let's see it."

Saya opened it slowly and let him see that it detailed absolutely every single detail of his Kaidan's life right up to him becoming the Shadow Broker.

Jase was actually speechless and kept scrolling through the file several times until something stood out. He frowned and pulled out Kaidan's dog-tags, comparing them to what they had on the file.

"The numbers are wrong."

"What? How can that be..."

Jase placed the tags onto the desk and noted the weird sound. He took them into his hand again, repeating it. With a frown he took his own and placed them down too. The sound was definitely different. 

"Listen... They're hollow inside."

With a frown he took Kaidan's back into his hand, thinking. Then he looked at them again, studying the numbers.

"8211, 3501. That's not a coincidence," Jase said and grabbed a piece of paper, sorting them out. "Look: 0513 2181. That's the day we knew it was more than just a fling and agreed to take it further."

"So... he's sending you a message. Guess they knew what they were doing when they made him the Shadow Broker..."

"I guess. Hard to imagine Kaidan as Shadow Broker instead of Liara." Jase looked at the dog-tags again, having a feeling there was more to it since they were hollow sounding too. He peered and turned them over until he found a simple tiny hole. Jase looked around the desk and grabbed a paperclip, bending it a little and used the small metal to put it into the hole. The tag fell apart and a chip landed on the desk. Exchanging a glance with Saya he took his omni-tool and scanned it.

"Wants a password," he frowned and scratched his brow, trying the date. Invalid. He tried Kaidan's birthday, invalid. His own. Invalid too.

"Dammit." Jase then tried to slice it and the omni-tool beeped at him in alarm, showing a countdown of a minute until the upcoming destruction if he couldn't type in the correct password. "Shit! Don't do that to me!"

Jase finger's flew over the keyboard, trying the most important dates of his life, up to the date of Eden Prime. Invalid. Blinking heavily he went for another route. Destruction of the Normandy. Invalid. SR2's first flight. Invalid. Collectors abduction? Taking them out? Invalid.

"Shit...! Shit shit shit!" Jase swore as just a few seconds were left. Then he looked at Saya, totally perplexed and typed in the date of Jeff's and his marriage.

The word ' _Welcome!_ 'popped up on the display. Jase blinked and he hit play.

"Hey Shepard. I'm glad you figured this out," Kaidan's voice and picture appeared and Jase's eyes were watering suddenly. He couldn't say a word but just stare and listen.

"I have to make this short, Hilary says the space is limited, so I'll just tell you what you need to know. As you can see, I'm not dead." Kaidan smiled and Jase had to chuckle softly, seeing that familiar quirk of the brow.

"Anyway. Elaine's been indoctrinated and I have included the cure to this. It's saved in a file on the chip. It would be nice if you could help her. There's a code embedded, give it to Hilary, would you? She'll send a message and I can send over an old friend of yours."

Kaidan grinned a little, "No, I won't tell you who it is. You have to see for yourself. The more complex formula you should give to the handsome young doctor of yours. He should know what to do with it." 

Kaidan paused and sighed softly. "I've been waiting for this day for so long Shepard, seeing you again in real. It won't take long now and I'm, well... there... where you are. Please give my best to your husband."

Irimsaya turned to Jase and smiled.

"Well now... that was unexpected." She reached up and gently wiped the tears from his eyes. "You alright?"

"Yeah. Fine," he whispered, but the tears just kept coming silently for a while. 

"He's gone so grey." Jase said softly and fell silent for a while, digesting all of this. After a bit he smiled a little. "Pinch me, tell me this is real."

"I wouldn't pinch you but..." Saya kissed his cheek again gently. "It's real Jase. It's very very real. At least we'll be able to tell the Kaidan's apart... mine's not grey at all." She chuckled softly.

Jase chuckled at this and nodded, already busy typing on his omni-tool again. "Yeah. I'm sending everything to Doc and Hilary. An old friend," Jase mused, wondering, as he hit send. "Who could it be..?" He looked at his sister for a few seconds and got a goofy grin on his face, then he laughed softly and laid his arm around her, drawing her over for a hug.

Saya smiled to herself as she was taken into Jase's arms for another hug. It made her happy when he was happy.

"Come on," Jase carefully pulled back smiling at her, "there's more work waiting for us."

"Hang on... can I see those dog tags again?" She was watching him. "I have a thought."

"Sure, here," Jase said, handing them to her.

Saya examined the numbers on the tags then looked at the files again.

"These numbers correspond to another file on here."

"He's really good with this, huh. What does it say?" Jase asked with a soft sigh and leaned forward.

"It looks like it details the poison that killed their version of The Illusive Man... Salarian in design... why would he send this...?"

"Salarian design? Whoa. A second," Jase said, scratching his head. "Can't be. The poison for us was salarian too."

"Maybe that's why he sent the information... maybe it was the same poison but used differently and he wants to make sure we had the details for it.."

"It killed. It was designed to kill us too. Kaidan has the answers to this. We'll know when he comes over. There's going to be a _lot_ of talking," Jase grinned a little, but wasn't really amused by the idea of a lot of talking. "Who knows what else we'll get to learn."

"That's actually what worries me a bit." Saya coughed a little and rubbed her throat. "Alright I think we have everything we can get from here - where to next?"

"I'll read this file again. The virus is priority." Jase nodded to himself and read the file again before he closed it down and turned to look at her, a thought forming in his head.

"The virus," Jase began and Arlen interrupted him by storming into the office.

"Captain, Commander! The formula you sent me, I can synthesize a cure with it. It's for a virus but so complex I wouldn't even have known where to start once we discovered it! I've never seen anything like this before. The virus is Reaper crafted," he continued babbling. 

"Edi says it's designed similar to indoctrination but actually damages the brain, hindering our self-awareness, thus making it easier to become indoctrinated. And it's not just this, the cure can also be used as immunization against indoctrination itself. It is.. perfect. Edi's started running tests on it already and she says there aren't any major side effects to be expected. Whoever designed this is a genius."

Saya smiled at their doctor's excitement.

"How's Kaidan doing, Arlen?" She asked then sneezed hard. "Dammit.."

Jase raised his eyebrows at the sneezing.

"Your husband is doing better and better with every passing minute. He's sleeping right now." But Arlen frowned at her sneezing and went over, scanning her.

"Ma'am, you have caught a cold. This is highly unusual, but your immune system is.. uh.. low...," Arlen frowned even more, totally puzzled by this.

Irimsaya stared at Arlen for a second then opened the files for a minute.

"Dammit..." She looked at Jase. "We both overlooked something here."

"What is it?" Jase asked, while watching her.

Closing her eyes and swallowing hard, she turned to them.

"Udina was the carrier."

"Of what? He's dead." Jase frowned. "The virus."

Saya was nodding again.

"It was embedded in him - look here - a file with his name on it. Shows everything. And how they planned to infect our universe." She glanced back and forth between them. "It's already started."

Jase rubbed his face. "God dammit... but we don't face indoctrination."

Arlen bit his lip and fed the omni-tool with the adjusted parameters, scanning his Captain again. "Infected. Clearly infected." Then he scanned Jase. "You sir, you're immune to it. Impressive," Arlen said, scanning himself. "In... fected." Arlen looked totally perplex for a few seconds before he hit his comm. "Edi? I.. I need your help."

Edi was busy analyzing what Jase had sent her in regards to the virus.

"I am here Arlen. What is wrong?"

"The Captain is infected by the virus. It's also taking down the immune system Edi, causing colds, fever and worse. Commander Shepard is immune to it, but. It.. it also infected me. Could you.. scan people around the lab and on the Normandy? I need to synthesize the cure, before, before I.. well.. am not well enough to do it anymore."

"I will begin right away Arlen. Perhaps you should confine yourself and the Captain so you do not spread it further?"

"This would be the most logical way," Arlen agreed. "But I need to go back to our small med-bay. Actually, I should go to the Normandy, but.. someone better bring me more equipment down here."

Jase thought they were just extremely lucky to have the means now to fight it. Getting a cold was kind of unusual but no one would have expected this at all.

"What about Elaine Doc? Got her cured?"

"Well, I was working on it...," Arlen trailed off, watching them. "I'll do it right away, sir."

Irimsaya nodded in response to everything as she sneezed again.

"That's why Udina was so insistent on having me..."

"Yeah and not on me. I wasn't interesting enough. Or, not good enough. Or in this case, immune." Jase actually wondered if that also meant he was immune to indoctrination attempts. 

Arlen excused himself and made a wild dash back to his med-bay, dodging any people and tried not to breathe or anything else which could infect more. So far no one had come to him with any sniffles nor any patients he had looked at had shown any signs of it.

Coughing again, Saya groaned quietly.

"Like what he did to me wasn't enough..." She growled out.

"Nothing of this is your fault Saya." Jase told her. "Doc's gonna get it fixed. He and Edi will do it."

"I'm not blaming myself here Jase... I'm blaming him. But it makes me wonder who else knows about this virus. That Batarian knew to take *me*... the question is why."

"Revenge for the destruction of the Bahak-System. That was his motivation. Aside of trying to throw his brother off the 'throne'. That's why Balak helped me to find you. Not to mention him asking for help from us."

"Did Balak ever get around to talking to you about that?"

"The batarians are a dying race, they need our help. While I don't agree with some of their... cultural aspects, I don't take part in genocide. We do talk, nearly daily. We haven't become friends. If you're worried about that. Mutual respect is involved now though."

Saya looked skeptical.

"He wants something else from you, Jase. Never turn your back on him."

"I won't. He's working with the Alliance, allowing our ships to come and go, allows us to stay here. That has to mean something. No batarian would have tolerated this before."

"Maybe... But I can't help feeling that it's all a little too convenient."

Jase nodded. "Alright. Right now, everyone who's been in contact with either you or Arlen needs to be checked. Including those who already came over. I can do this from here." 

Jase didn't want to leave her alone, the office was good for anything that needed to be done now and he started right away. At some point he just said, "Hope Kaiden's coming over soon. He seems to know a lot and would be a great help."

"I'm sure he'll be here as soon as he can Jase." Saya sniffed a bit. "In the meantime let me read some more files here. Maybe I can find some other stuff."

"Yeah," he nodded, acknowledging both of what she said. "You doing alright?"

"I just feel a bit drained. But if this is designed to 'look' like a cold then that's normal."

Jase wasn't sure about this at all, but he was no doctor. "Doc's gonna fix it. He's good." Jase then was busy for a while.

 

Looking up from his work Jase peered at his sister in thought. 

"Sis. Got a question."

"If I can answer it for you then I will - what's up?"

"It's a bit intimate. When you and Kaidan hooked up, how fast was he to agree to have.. _make_ love with you. From my experience as a man with another, no strings attached, men agree fast to it."

Saya coughed again and looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"A *bit* intimate?..." She smiled a little as she remembered. "Well... I guess you could say I was kind of the aggressor in it but he never said no..."

Jase nodded, thinking. "Edi's been trying to woo Doc for weeks now. He doesn't bite but doesn't push her away. She's getting a little anxious." Jase turned to his sister. "Call it a feeling, but Doc's been on Mindoir, witnessing his family becoming slaves." Jase let the implication hang in the air. "Either to him, or someone else."

"Alright so what are you asking me Jase?"

"Edi wants more but is confused. Doc doesn't bite, but is, according to her, showing some interest. A guy getting the offer to get physical with someone he likes usually goes for that. Your Kaidan's been jumping at his chances too." Jase grinned a little.

Irimsaya blushed at that comment but didn't rise to the bait.

"Has Edi actually told him she likes him in that way?"

"Apparently more than once. She said he hasn't been in any relationship before. She must feel frustrated." Jase scratched his head a little. "He fell asleep on her. Before that, Doc played on his flute for Edi."

"Huh... Kaidan's never used me as a pillow before... maybe he just needs to make sure he's comfortable first..."

"Maybe. Well," Jase shrugged. "I like spooning up to Jeff. Years ago when Jeff offered me more, I went for it. I just," Jase narrowed his eyes in thought, thinking of something that happened years ago, "hope he hasn't been abused."

Saya shuddered a bit as more memories fluttered to the surface.

"I can relate to that.."

Jase turned around on his seat, facing her. It took a bit before he was about to tell her something, instead he touched her left hand and squeezed it a bit.

"Saya," Jase began and paused for a long time biting his lip, clearly searching for the words. "It nearly happened to me too. As a child. The last foster parents, they were nice. She didn't get angry at me when I got into trouble at school. Kids loved to pick on me, the stupid orphan who couldn't read, or count. I fought back. She taught me cooking, instead of reading. But then her husband began pimping her out. He drank, used drugs. I was.. responsible for their food, cooked for them, cleaned." Jase chuckled a little, scratching his neck. 

"I'm not good at cleaning, ask Jeff. He always cleans up after me. One day I came home. It felt like home. There was this man, and he wanted me, offered creds. Grabbed me. I kicked at him and ran away from home. I was scared he'd rent me out to him, too." Jase squeezed her hand gently. "I know the fear. You still went into it and discovered all of this." He waved around. "You deserve a medal for this. And a lot more."

Irimsaya forced herself to smile at him.

"Thanks Jase, I'm glad you felt safe enough to confide in me. As for the medal.... I doubt it but thanks."

"I'll give you one. 'Best sister of the galaxy'." Jase grinned a little. "Something's up with Doc. _Maybe_." He nodded at her, maybe she was right and he just needed to feel comfortable. "Right now he's got his hands full with his work though." Jase turned back to his work, but stopped, frowning. "I have the urge to cook."

Saya giggled at that.

"Now why on earth would you have that urge *now*?"

"I don't knoooow...," he chuckled softly.

Coughing and laughing, Saya just shook her head at him.

"You're hopeless."

Jase grinned at her, eyes twinkling. "Am I. Maybe I just like cooking for a big family," he shrugged, worrying about that ugly cough.

Saya smiled then switched off the terminal she was sitting at and rubbed her eyes.

"Kaidan... I breathed this on him too..."

Jase got up and touched her face. While her hands felt cool she was burning hot.

"Yeah. You're running a fever." Jase hit the comm. "Doc?"

"Commander?" came a raspy reply from Arlen.

"Doc, Captain's running a fever."

"Aah.. yes. Bring her over. Everything's under quarantine, sir. No new survivors are coming through, too." Arlen breathed out softly. Every shot and pill he used on himself to make him feel better did in fact nothing but the opposite. Which was a terrible mistake he had made. Luckily for him, the turian doctor seemed to be good enough on what he was doing.

"Doc, anyone else immune to that Virus?" Jase asked, figuring whoever it was could help until the cure was ready.

"Uh.. yes....but the Normandy Crew is off bad. Your husband's already running a high fever," Arlen erupted into a coughing fit and Jase looked at Saya, even more worried now. Jeff and sick? He had to get to him. "Immune are... Hilary Moreau, Commander Alenko, Wrex, Grunt, your friend who came over earlier and in the last round.. Captain Alenko."

"Wait, what? Captain Alenko is here?"

"Yes sir, he's standing right next to me."

Jase was silent for a few seconds and stared at Saya. Here. "He's here...! I .. don't know what to feel, what to think. But he's here!" 

"Let's get there then." Saya got to her feet slowly then had to grab the desk as the room started spinning. "Oooookay I should not have done that..."

Jase turned and picked her up, mind spinning. "Got you. I've got your back." What would Kaidan say? What would he himself say? Jase himself stumbled a little. "Sorry. Got you." Then he left the office and brought her to med-bay.

He saw Arlen right away, next to Edi. He saw Saya's Kaidan and heard him talking. That's where he decided to bring Saya, all the time his heart hammering away, hands shaking.

"Doc, got a special delivery," Jase said as he placed her carefully down. When he turned around, Jase saw _him_. Jase faintly heard Kaidan's voice, he must have gone to Saya, saying, "My god.. that's..he is.. me?"

Captain Alenko was smiling at Jase, tears in his eyes at finally seeing the other man again.

"Hey Shepard." It was all he could get out, his voice breaking a bit with emotion.

For a moment, Jase was back on Eden Prime, seeing the last eye contact again he'd had with him years ago. Everything was just a blur, people there being ignored and he went to him, and suddenly he hugged him. "Kaidan..."

Alenko hugged him back gently, breathing hard.

"It's wonderful to see you alive Jase... so wonderful.."

Jase let go of him then, taking in the sight of him. "You have aged. And as usual you have the lousiest timing to come," Jase chuckled in jest. "I just ... figured your message out a few hours ago. As you can see, it's a mess here right now." But then Jase grew serious. "I need to get to the Normandy. People are down and she's without a Doctor. I'm sorry."

"Yeah losing you made me gray - thanks for that by the way. As for the Normandy... can I come with you? Would love to see her..."

"Yeah. Sure, why not. Just, here meet the family, please. That's the other you, Commander Alenko, his wife, my sister, Irimsaya Shepard. The other me. Over there, that's Edi, our AI. And Doctor Novak." Jase was totally overwhelmed.

For Kaidan it was weird, looking into a mirror and hearing, seeing himself in front of him. He gently squeezed Saya's hand with his left before he shook the other Kaidan's hand. "Captain Alenko, pleased to meet you."

"Commander." The Captain smiled. "Tell you guys what - let's lessen the confusion. Call me Dan."

Kaidan looked at Saya and nodded, at least it wasn't Kai. "Better than Kai, I suppose. Welcome to.. well, the other side, Dan."

"Alright. Dan." Jase just had a weird look on his face. Dan? Not bad, but, he shrugged. "Kaidan, can you cover for me down here? Or let Edi help you. I need to go to the Normandy. Jeff's down with a high fever and others too. Until we've got this under control the portal's closed."

Kaidan looked at Jase and the other Dan and nodded. "Of course." He was feeling confused and nodded again. "I'll be fine here," he answered and scratched his brow.

Jase nodded and looked at Dan. "Come on, K.. Dan. Let's go."

Dan smiled at that and followed Jase from the room.

"I'm glad you found Jeff, Jase."

Jase nodded his thanks mutely, but was wearing a frown on his face as he lead the way. After some walking he looked at Dan. 

"Honestly? Me too. If I had known you were still alive, if I had known it would come to this, today. I'd have waited for you."

"And you would have driven yourself insane. Trust me, I was nearly there myself. Until I was given the rank of Captain and became... you know who..."

For a second Jase thought his knees were going to give out, as lightheaded as he felt at the moment.

"That's Liara's job here. Doubt she'll part with it. Jeff told me last night you were alive. In the morning Saya told me about Darien and your job," Jase told him, looking straight ahead to where they had to go to. "I had a run in with Elaine, but convinced her to hand everything over to Hilary. Then we were digging through the files, finding your message. Now you're here. Saya, Jeff and others are infected..."

"This is pretty weird for you isn't it. Maybe I shouldn't have come over..."

Jase looked at him and shook his head. "No, that's not it. Just a lot to take in. Happy to have you here. Tell me a bit about yourself, how did you.. deal with my being gone. I saw that vid from Eden Prime. The look on your face told me everything I need to know. It's been four years Kaidan. Dan. Captain, Broker, Cerberus? Elaine...you never mentioned her."

"Life was hard Jase. After you disappeared the Reapers attacked in full force. Collectors, Reapers, Geth... We didn't stand a chance. I... I was going to let them kill me. But something stopped me. As for Elaine... let's not discuss what she did to me - one of the reasons I never told you about her."

Jase opened the shuttle and let him step inside, then he turned to him. "I saw it. Everything. On Virmire. We lost Ash there, then that vision... that evening I sat in the airlock with a gun, wanting to die. Then Jeff came looking for me. Barely able to walk but there he was," he nodded to himself. "I'm glad something stopped you."

Jase sat down with a sigh and just looked at his Kaidan, taking in the sight. Eventually he began piloting it himself and glanced over at Dan again. "Might be a bit more advanced than what you're used to," he said, adding with a grin, "Captain."

"Very nice... and sleek... I'm impressed..."

Jase then fell silent on the short ride to the Normandy. Once they exited the shuttle he led the way inside and to the CIC where he introduced Dan to Sam. Then the most important person to him was on his mind.

"Edi, where's Jeff?"

"Joker is in your quarters Commander."

"Thanks Edi," Jase said and the elevator opened. He motioned for Dan to join him. 

"So, Normandy's what you expected?"

"Greater than my expectations to be honest. This ship is amazing and the AI... well a very nice upgrade."

"Courtesy of Cerberus. The rogue AI on Luna, I'm not sure you ever ran into her, it was Edi," Jase told him as the door of the elevator opened and he led the way to the cabin.

"Yeah well.... I had to destroy the whole Luna base."

Jase winced. "Ouch. We only disabled it. Cerberus got their hands onto her somehow." The door opened and Jase went right inside, nodding at Dan to follow him. Once both men were in the cabin Jase went right away to Jeff, kneeling down at the side of the bed.

"Jeff?" He said softly, worry on his face as he touched his forehead. "He's burning up."

Joker moaned when he felt someone touch him, he just wanted to stop sweating.

"Mmmmmh who's there....?"

Jase gently caressed his forehead, looking very worried. "It's me, Jase," he said softly and hit the comm.

"Doc, Jeff's burning up. Anything I can give him to get the fever down?"

"Commander, no!" came the breathy raspy voice, sounding urgent though, "don't give anyone any meds, it makes it worse!" Arlen groaned, he could barely keep his eyes open, but had to finish this. The world was sickenly coming in and out of focus and the cotton wool in his head made it hard to think. "Leg compressions. Fluids, fruits, anything to help the immune system. Cold leg compressions...."

"How you holding up Doc?"

"I'm aah... holding up, sir."

"How long until you have the cure?"

"Three, four hours, top. Sir. I'm holding up," Arlen erupted into a coughing fit which sent his chest rattling and the world spinning once more, "aah on, whatever. Need to work."

Jase looked over at Dan when the comm went silent and he still had trouble to wrap his head around the fact, that this man was indeed here. "Doc sounds bad."

Dan came over to him with a cool washcloth he had soaked in the bathroom while Jase was talking to the Doctor.

"So he does - who was the first one infected Jase?"

"Thanks," Jase took the cloth and plaid it on Jeff's forehead then he was thinking. "Saya. The other me. Udina.. infected her."

Dan closed his eyes and took a shaky breath.

"Then, if your Doctor's already this bad... She's going to be a lot worse."

Jase nodded slowly and hit the comm again. "Doc, sorry to bother you. How's the Captain."

"Considering everything, she's doing ... alright. Just fever..."

"Why are you off so bad? Contact with patients?"

"No sir," Arlen inhaled deeply to wheeze in air. "I tried to hold it off, taking any meds ... I could think of. Mistake. Worsens it. Sorry.. Novak out." The comm went silent then and Jase looked at Dan.

"Doc's smart, he'll do it. What do you know about that Virus? Where did you get the cure from."

"The Salarian Dalatrass helped me develop it. I was able to steal a sample of the virus from Cerberus before they brought it through to implement it. It's a nasty little bugger, immune to nearly everything and replicates at an alarming rate." Dan's eyes were on Joker. "Doesn't he take meds for his disease?"

"He does... why? You developed it?" But Jase had more questions. Udina was on New Omega for a while, which meant they'd have to deal with a whole more of sick people.

"His medication could be increasing the disease's spread inside him. Yes I helped develop the cure. But from what I heard at Cerberus, and thankfully, just so you know it wasn't supposed to spread until Udina infected someone from this universe."

Jase nodded at the reply and actually looked scared at Jeff, who he was still caressing gently. He turned the cloth around, using the other, cooler, side now.

"K.. Dan, what's going to happen to Jeff? I can't lose him."

"If your AI and your Doctor can't replicate the cure..." Dan just trailed off, watching the pair.

"What.. the galaxy is giving you back to me but takes Jeff away? No."

"I should go back to New Omega then and help your AI and Doctor - unless there's somewhere here I can help?"

"We have a med-bay. Edi's available up here, too. It's just her body being down there with Doc." Jase turned to look at him, meeting his eyes. He had changed so much, despite hearing the same voice, seeing the same eyes, they both had changed.

Dan nodded and put a gentle hand on his former lover's shoulder... the man he still loved...

"I'll go to your med bay and work with Edi from there. Maybe it'll go faster then."

Jase nodded at him, having a deep sadness in his eyes, among a few other feelings. "I'm glad you're here. I'll be here if you need me... just comm me, okay?" 'For everything', but he didn't say that.

Dan turned and left the room, his heart aching more than he thought it would at seeing Jase again. He closed his eyes to steady himself before going to the med bay.

 

Saya glanced at Kaidan as she watched Arlen cough even harder than before and clutch at the nearest bed.

"Get him lying down Kaidan."

Kaidan nodded and got up. "You're right, he looks like he's going to pass out." Kaidan went over to their doctor.

"Doctor Novak, please lie down."

Arlen shook his head no. "I'm close. Nearly done. Can't stop now."

Kaidan looked over at Saya for a second before addressing Arlen again. "You're sick Arlen, you need to rest."

"There is no time," came the grunted reply. "I need to finish it."

"Can I help you with something? It's just basic knowledge I have but maybe.."

"Captain Alenko just commed me, he's helping Edi and me. We need to finish this." Arlen insisted.

"Oh," Kaidan just replied, baffled. He went back to Saya. "The.. ah.. other me is helping. Arlen says they're close."

Sighing, Saya sat up slowly and stood up with Kaidan supporting her.

"*Doctor* Novak. You are hereby *ordered* to stop what you are doing and lie down." She used the most stern voice she could.

Arlen looked at her, nearly gaping. He was so damn close and he needed to finish it. But the moment he gave in and nodded, he felt his body stop using the energy he had left. His turian doctor friend Tarok and the Captain could do it too, he knew it. Arlen wanted to reply with a yes ma'am, but instead the world greyed out and he fell to the floor.

Kaidan rushed forward. "Someone give me a hand!"

Edi was there before Kaidan could finish his sentence.

"Allow me, Commander." She said and gently lifted her friend into her arms, carrying him to the nearest available bed.

Arlen thought he was in a weird world full of viruses floating around and tests, way too tired and fell asleep then.

Kaidan now knew there was definitely something going on between these two and he went to help her. "His fever is very high. What can I do to help you?" Kaidan asked, hoping Saya would be off better. Kaidan looked over to her, still feeling off from both, experiencing the thing in his back, mind going weird on him and seeing his own self for real instead of looking into a mirror.

"Keep him as cool as you can please Commander. I have to test this next batch of cure... but not on him." Edi was thoughtful.

"Test it on me Edi." Saya strode over to them, sweating a bit.

"Captain..."

"On me."

Edi looked to her Commander for guidance.

"Saya...," Kaidan was perplexed and afraid. "Why not on him? Is there something you .. think ... that might happen?"

"Because Kaidan, if we try it on him and it doesn't work he'll get even worse. I don't think any of us want that. Better to try it on someone who so far just has the fever and cough."

"And is our Captain and my wife. I would volunteer myself, but... I am immune." Kaidan looked at Saya long, silently begging her not to do it.

"I'm the ranking officer here Kaidan. If I don't do it how can I expect anyone else to? How can I expect anyone to follow my lead at all?"

"I'm sorry, you're right of course. I still.. am not myself and..," he just went and hugged her, not wanting to say that he was scared.

Saya kept her arms around him and nodded to Edi to proceed. She kept holding Kaidan as their AI injected her as gently as she could.

"Whoa...." Saya felt herself go extremely dizzy. "Uhh.... don't think so Edi..."

Kaidan held her, noting her swaying as he glanced between Saya and Edi. "Saya? What's happening?"

"Uhmmmmm world's spinning... making me a bit nauseous..." She found herself clinging to Kaidan with all her might.

"The mixture was wrong again." Edi let her frustration show.

Kaidan glared a bit at Edi, wondering why they have a formula and it was wrong, again? He steadied Saya carefully. "Again? Who was the first you tested it on?" Then he looked at his wife, saw her having gone even more pale and hoped she wasn't going to be sick.

"Arlen insisted on trying everything we created." Edi responded as she got back to work.

"Mmmm... Kaidan.... need to lie down again..." Saya murmured in her husband's ear. "Glad... you're not a husk... by the way..."

Kaidan nodded and brought her over. "I'm.. glad too," he softly said as he placed her down. Now he wasn't surprised at all that Arlen had crashed the way he did.

Saya moaned and rolled onto her side.

"Someone please tell this room to stop spinning already!"

"Can someone give her something against the dizziness?"

"No!" Edi all but shouted over at him. "*Any* medication makes it even worse! She can have nothing!"

Kaidan nodded and got Arlen's bed pushed to Saya's, so he was able keep an eye on both. While trying to cool down Arlen's fever he now was also soothing Saya as best he could.

 

Edi had her head cocked as if listening to something.

"I see... thank you Captain Alenko." She went back to work then went to the two beds and Kaidan. "I have another variation.."

"What if this is wrong, too?" Kaidan asked, thinking it was too bad he couldn't volunteer.

Edi looked at him.

"Then she will become like Arlen."

Kaidan groaned and gave in, rubbing his head, thinking that this better was going to work this time.

Edi gently injected her Captain again and waited.

"Her core body temperature appears to be dropping slowly. The fever is beginning to dissipate."

Kaidan nodded and sighed softly to himself, praying this was really working. His wife had been through too much already and, he shook his head, it was time for some good news. Among better times.

Saya slowly opened her eyes and looked at Kaidan.

"I'm not dizzy anymore..."

"It's working? She'll need time to rest." Kaidan leaned down and gave her forehead a kiss. "Please, rest." 

"It appears to be working." Edi sighed in relief, mimicking the humans around her.

"Give it to Arlen then." Saya mumbled out, getting drowsy from Kaidan's caresses.

Kaidan kept caressing Saya while watching Edi, the turian doctor and Arlen. "How is he?"

"He isn't doing well." Edi replied as she injected the cure into her friend. "Please wake up Arlen."

 

Arlen heard the familiar voice, but instead of realizing she was real he integrated her into his dreams. He was with his Captain back on New Omega, seeing the many slaves and slavers. From the safety of his duct he was watching Edi receiving the control chip. His brain told him Edi was an AI and immune to control chips, but what he saw told him a different story. A flash to his right, outside of the duct made him gasp, "Nealla?!" he called and left the safety, running after her. "Nealla!" Arlen called out, running after his sister.

 

Kaidan frowned at Edi, having heard the soft whisper of the name. "Who is that?" he wondered aloud.

Edi was frowning when she looked at her Commander.

"I do not know, I have not heard this name before."

 

Arlen ran after his sister, but ended up in a grey world with voices who were whispering. He knew one of them was Edi and he felt himself floating into awareness. The Commander was there too and Arlen felt really bad and sick. Limbs heavy, head clouded, brain not working properly he listened.

"Edi?" Arlen whispered, feeling her presence, eyelids too heavy to open them.

Kaidan's eyes were watching Edi's face. Not that the two seemed to have grown close, no, Edi had become very capable of helping their Doctor. She was more valuable than just being the ship's AI, Kaidan thought and looked back down at Saya.

"I am here Arlen. I have injected you with the cure. You will be fine." Edi watched Kaidan for a moment then mimicked him again and gently stroked Arlen's hair.

Saya sighed softly and fell asleep.

Arlen escaped a soft sigh as he leaned into the caress, relaxing even more and knew he needed this touch.

Edi smiled a little, finding the response to her touch curious but welcome.

Arlen turned onto his side, knowing there was something important. Something he should remember. He did know he was down with something serious, just too tired to dig any deeper. Once he'd secured Edi's hand he brought her finger to his lips and placed a soft kiss onto them, falling asleep once more.

Edi cocked her head at his response then looked to Kaidan, uncertain what to do now.

Kaidan had no idea what was going on behind his back, too focused on his wife. The hand was still caressing her hair gently and the thumb then traced her eyebrows carefully. With a sigh he leaned down and gave her another kiss onto the forehead, then he sat down heavily for a moment, taking a deep breath. He should go, do some work, help Edi and the Doctor. However his mind was too tired and drained from the ordeal of the past days, he could barely think clearly.

"Perhaps you should rest as well, Commander?" Edi was concerned. "After all you too have had a grueling day."

"I.. uh, yes, maybe Edi. I should help you." Kaidan said, but his eyes closed on their own. "I'm just.. so tired." The last time he had felt so extremely drained had been... Kaidan pushed that thought away. No. He wouldn't think of that time. "Maybe you're right. I'm not good at helping being so tired."

Arlen's hand curled around Edi's hand and arm to draw it closer, snuggling closer even more, using her arm half as a cushion.

"I do not believe I am going anywhere as it is so you may as well get some rest." Edi turned her eyes back to Arlen, studying him.

"Okay, I'll.. just lay down then, next to Saya." Kaidan said and did that then right away.

 

Joker groaned when he felt an uncomfortable prick in his arm. He felt another cool cloth placed on his forehead and voices talking in hushed tones. 

Jase gently stroked Jeff's cheek a little after having changed the cloth.

"How long until he gets better, Dan?" Jase asked softly. "I'm glad you're here. I can't seem to say it often enough."

"Well he's much farther along than most because of his other meds... I'd say maybe a couple of hours. And I'm glad to be here Jase." Dan's voice went quiet and he sighed to himself.

"I heard that," Jase tore his eyes away from Jeff and looked at him. "Talk to me, Dan. We always did."

"What would you like to hear Jase? That I still love you? That I'm happy for you?"

"I want to hear the truth, of course," Jase nodded, looking at him. The left hand found Dan's and he squeezed it a bit. "Thanks. I love him. A lot. He's like you - good for me." He couldn't tear his eyes away from him though. "I thought you died... I thought I lost you. I tried to grieve for you. But you were there, all the time."

Dan nodded a little bit.

"I was the same until we sent Darian through and he started his reporting. I have to say though it was good to see you had a place here. That you weren't alone."

Jase nodded, thinking back at the first weeks. He reached over and switched Jeff's cloth to the cooler side. "I was alone, but nobody saw that. All the people I knew didn't know me. People I loved, didn't look at me. I was waiting in med-bay for you to come, but the door never opened. Instead I woke up to a strange woman and I knew my life had changed." Jase turned his head around, looking at him once again. "That time must have been .. awful for you."

Dan rubbed his eyes and looked at Jase.

"I went out looking for trouble every day Jase. I hoped every day that the Geth, the Collectors... that someone would end my pain. I even tried to get captured by the Collectors."

"I'm glad you survived," Jase nodded at him. "The Collectors destroyed our SR-1. Saya was killed in action, but Cerberus rebuilt her." Jase sighed softly, thinking back once again. 

"I woke up in a hospital, a nurse at my side and I knew something had changed - again. I was," Jase paused, looking at Jeff. It seemed so unfair now that he was thinking like this years ago and he reached over, gently caressing his face. 

"I was questioning myself why it hadn't been me getting killed. I wished I could have joined you in death. When I defeated the Reapers, I expected to die. But Jeff, he kept me going."

Dan was watching the hands on Jeff... the hands that used to touch him the same way.

"I... I'll leave you two alone..." He could feel himself choking with emotion. "Get him better."

Jase turned around right away. "Kaidan. Don't go."

"I have to Jase. At least for now. I know I said I could handle this but... I can't okay? I just..." Dan took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "I can't."

"You need me." Jase stated, knowing it. He reached over, laying his hand on Dan's neck, moving it up towards his face.

Dan pulled back and stepped towards the door.

"No Jase. I won't let you dishonour your *husband*."

"I won't. I was offering friendship and comfort. Where will you stay?"

"I guess I'll head back to New Omega and try to sort things out. I have to find some files I sent over much earlier."

Jase nodded. "Crew deck, behind the kitchen... The area Anderson used to have his cabin. The room is free, it got a few terminals left. Edi has access to your databases. You could.. use it." Just anything to have him close.

"I appreciate it Jase, thank you." Dan left the room, breathing hard.

When the door closed it felt so final and Jase wondered what he had done. He carefully took the now too warm cloth and went to cool it down. He hadn't even said thanks to Dan for helping with the cure, for being there to help him with Jeff.

"You're a fucking bastard, you've just broken his heart," Jase said to himself in the mirror. "Yeah, I know. I'd have said the same if it had been Jeff. God damn it." Jase lowered his head, staring at the cloth. Kaidan had been there picking him off the floor at a bad time and Jeff had done the same. Jase shook his head at himself and went back to Jeff. 

Joker's eyes were open when Jase came back.

"Hey..."

Jase sat down on the bed, touching his forehead to check the temperature and smiled at him. "Hey sleeping beauty, how do you feel."

Joker smiled, or tried to.

"I... I feel a bit better...what happened?"

"A virus. Udina got it and handed it over to Saya." Jase told him and leaned down, giving his forehead a kiss. "You scared me," he shook his head, "I've been so scared."

"Hmmm now you know how it feels..." Joker smiled weakly.

Jase nodded. "Yeah. Not something I want to experience again."

Joker sniffed a bit and tried to get comfortable.

"I need a nice cool shower..."

"Why cool?" Jase wondered, wasn't this going to make him worse?

"Because I'm so damned hot... either that or I need some more nice cool cloths... this one felt so good.."

"Ah," Jase nodded at him. "Whatever you feel you can handle. I'll help you."

"Dunno what I'd do without you Jase... by the way who were you talking to before? I heard more than just your voice."

Jase sighed softly to himself, before answering this he needed to know if it was cloth or shower. "Cloth or shower? Shower you get to see me naked, too." He grinned a little. "I'll tell you, after you answer." Jase gently touched his nose for a second.

"Oooh... see you naked... hmm... decisions decisions... shower!"

Jase chuckled, got everything set up and got him out of their bed. "We'll save water, I need a shower too. It was an eventful day," Jase sighed. "Starting by getting to know about Darian, convincing Elaine to help Kaidan and herself. Over to finding out that my Kaidan's dog-tags didn't match and there was a chip inside with a message. To a virus Doc, Saya and you fell ill to. And my Kaidan - Dan, coming over."

Joker stopped moving when he heard that last sentence.

"You mean... he's here?"

"Yeah," Jase said and stroked his arm a bit. "He's the one you heard talking. Dan... he went to med-bay and worked on the cure." Jase was still baffled about this. Dan and a doctor now. Kind of. But still.

"I see..." Joker went silent after that, he really wasn't sure what he should be saying now.

"He injected you the cure," Jase tried to defend Dan's having been here. Jase turned on the water once Jeff had sat down and began washing him gently.

"I'll be sure to thank him for that." He was wondering though what else this "Dan" had impressed Jase with.

"Jeff," Jase sighed softly as he began washing his back. "He helped me getting you back onto your feet."

"I said I'd say thank you Jase... Just don't expect me to be happy right away that he's here okay? It's hard for me - thinking your former lover and man you loved is here. So close to you."

"Yeah," Jase nodded, knowing it was not good to talk to either of them about the other apparently. And he was caught right in the middle now. Dan had just arrived, what would this be like in a few days, or weeks? Before Jase began washing Jeff's hair he leaned down, kissing his shoulders and neck, trailing along the wet skin. He could reach around and do more if they wanted to, but that depended all on Jeff. "I miss our tub."

Joker closed his eyes, enjoying the caresses and kisses.

"Hmmm me too..." He winced when he sneezed hard.

"Alright, hair then bed for you. Did you hurt yourself?"

"No I'm okay." He sniffed. "But thanks for asking handsome."

"Second..," Jase let go of him a bit and reached over, grabbing their tissue box and handed it to him. "Anything for you, tiger."

Joker smiled at that.

"You really are the best you know."

Jase chuckled, "Thanks. Unless it comes to cleaning up." Jase grabbed the soap, starting with his own hair before soaping Jeff's. "You always have to clean up after me. I know that."

"Hey at least you know I do it." Joker laughed a little, wincing when he heard how weak he sounded.

Jase chuckled softly, then rinsed their hair out and grabbed a few towels, wrapping them around Jeff. "Yeah. I just realize it when it's already too late. I'm bad with this." Jase thought it best to change the sheets and bedding as well before Jeff would hit the bed again. And he needed to get him some food, aside of the boring tea that was in the thermos.

"Wisely not saying a word. I'm gonna sit on the couch for awhile I think."

"Alright," Jase thought this fit perfectly and threw on his briefs after having brought him to the couch, including more towels. He poured him the tea and handed him the cup then set on changing their bed. "You want to eat something?"

"Wouldn't say to no to it. I'm feeling a bit peckish."

"I'll go, grab you a sandwich or something. Any wishes?" Jase hurried up, getting the bed done and threw on a sweater and pants. "Don't go anywhere," he grinned at Jeff.

"Whatever you choose is fine by me and don't worry, I don't plan on leaving this couch - it's comfortable." Joker grinned back at him.

"Alright," Jase leaned down, giving him a kiss. "Be right back."

Sandwiches, with any luck there would be some in the fridge, if not, he'd toss together a few, leaving some for their crew in the fridge as well.

 

Jase opened the fridge and peered inside. Of course, just as he suspected, he had to fix up a few himself. Just like swimming, making food was something special. Maybe it had to do something with actually being fed and not having to deal with a growling stomach. Jase took a whole package of toast, which was self made, he noted, sliced it, buttered it and put everything on several plates, including a small one for Jeff.

Joker sat there on the couch in their quarters, waiting for his husband to return with the food. Something was really bothering the other man and Joker knew he had to get Jase to talk before it tore him apart.

Jase hurried back upstairs, glad most of their crew was either asleep, or not getting into his way.

"Food delivery's arrived," Jase said and placed it in front of Jeff. "There you go. Took a bit longer, had to make some."

"Ooooh you made it? Well it's sure to taste even better now!"

Jase plopped down next to him. "Flattery," he grinned. "Crew must have eaten all. Most of them are down with it too. I'm immune to the virus and I don't know why."

"Maybe cause of where you're from?"

Jase nodded, thinking about that. "Could be."

"I sense a 'but' in there. What're you thinking?"

"They developed it over there. You can't develop something on people who are immune to it," Jase said and laid his arm around his shoulder, thinking. 

"Kaidan's immune to it. Probably from the nanites he received though. Grunt and Wrex are immune too. Begs the question if all krogan are. Your sister is immune too. They had the cure already figured out and she must have gotten a shot for it. I never did." Jase looked at him with raised eyebrow. "Natural immunity? One out of hundreds, thousands?"

"Or maybe they based it on your DNA..." Joker said thoughtfully.

"That's...scary, but not impossible."

"Well when you think about it it would explain a lot..."

"It would, wouldn't it." Jase looked thoughtful at him. It was indeed scary.

Joker just nodded silently. He was starting to feel tired again and he hadn't even finished his sandwich yet.

Jase laid his arm around his shoulders and kissed his head gently a few times. "Come, bed. Feels a lot better with fresh sheets now. Tell me about that pilot and agent tomorrow." When his husband was feeling better.

 

Arlen awoke to the sound of a semi busy med-bay and groggily rubbed his eyes before he slowly sat up. Hanging his shoulders he yawned a little and checked the time on his omni-tool.

"Oh...," he whispered and shook his head, "I slept for nearly two days?" He slowly looked around the place. The worst must have been over, he figured, as only three beds were occupied and he had been on one of the them. Tarok was busy with a patient and Arlen yawned again, leaving the bed. He felt icky, in terrible need of a shower and some light food and water. Where was Edi? The Captain, the Commander?

Edi wasn't far, she had to check on a few things. When she returned and saw Arlen standing up, a smile formed on her metal face.

"Arlen!"

Arlen looked at her, smiling. The eyes and face were still showing signs of weakness and light fever, but he was .. happy to see her. Arlen went to her, stopped, considering something but then he hugged her. Why couldn't she just be more human? 

Edi very gently hugged him back.

"I am glad to see you well again. I have missed talking with you."

Arlen just closed his eyes, staying in the embrace. Something had changed. He didn't know what, but something was different.

Edi was confused by the length of time he chose to stay in her arms, but she made no indication that she was uncertain of what to do.

Arlen wanted to tell her something, a few things, but the thoughts didn't form words and he stayed silent. Not wanting to let go either, he just stayed like this until it dawned on him that it could be weird and make both of them uncomfortable. Arlen pulled away.

"Ah.. erm. Please. I'm sorry," he turned a bit red and looked away slightly, knowing that he was probably smelling like a rat too.

"Why are you sorry? I do not see a reason for you to feel the need to apologize to me..."

Arlen didn't know how to reply to this at all. He needed to take a shower, for a short moment he even considered asking her to help him. But, dear god.. he couldn't ask that!

"Edi? What happens when you become wet? Water, I mean, when.. it's raining, or you get dirty. Somewhere? And you need to clean it?"

"This body is not harmed by water if that is what you are inquiring of me Arlen."

Arlen nodded at her. "Oh...," he said slowly, thoughtfully. "Thank you. I need to take a shower. I must smell like.. a pig stall."

"You do possess an unique fragrance at the moment." Edi stated, hoping she didn't offend him.

Arlen nodded at first, just agreeing to it then he thought about it, and thought about it again, making sense of the words 'possessing an unique fragrance'.... 

"Oh," he frowned a little. "Oh! I .. ah.. really? I really do? I'll take a shower at once. Yes. I'll go, take a shower." 

And maybe then he'd feel less confused and would actually smell better. Arlen ran a hand through his curly hair as he was about to turn around and grimaced. It felt dirty. Then he suddenly wondered, not able to remember anything at all, who actually had been helping him to the bathroom?

Edi watched him, prepared to help if he needed it or asked it of her.

Arlen hated being sick and down with something, having to depend on others to help him, to take care of him, seeing him weak. Which made him frown even more that he really wanted Edi to be there, it just didn't make sense to him. Why was there this sudden urge to kiss her, in such a lousy state he was in. Smelly, yucky, bad breath probably too and he never had kissed anyone before anyway. Did she even have a tongue that felt real? What about her lips? And if he would ask her to help, he was fine anyway, he'd most likely embarrass himself and her by having a bodily reaction. Why was he even thinking about this? Arlen blinked and took a few steps. Most likely because he was interested. But he had never been interested in anyone before and what if she just lost interest in him, or something happened to her? What if he was alone then again? Arlen stopped walking, rubbed his head and looked at her.

"Edi? W.. what happens.. if... To you, if the Normandy.. if... uhm.. something breaks and.. there is no energy and.. or a problem with the core room?"

Edi watched him, carefully considering her answer.

"I would hopefully have enough time to download into this platform... otherwise... I would go offline."

"I...," he nodded at her explanation. If there was enough time. Was there even enough space to download everything? "I... don't want to lose you, Edi. I .. don't think I could.., I could..," he frowned, trailing off. Couldn't what? Handle it? Deal with it? He bit his lip, not know what the right word was to use.

"Do not worry yourself. As long as I have Captain Shepard-Alenko commanding me then I know I will be safe."

"Yes... she is a good captain," he whispered. The thought of possibly losing her scared him greatly. Arlen suddenly felt sad and walked off by himself, getting his shower. The water was mixing with the falling tears and Arlen felt childish and angry with himself. He knew what it was, he liked her too much already. And the thought of something happening to Edi was what he couldn't really stomach, or deal with. People disappear, there were times when he couldn't help them. But it was easier to deal with it as long as he didn't know them. What was he going to do now, run from it? Or go with it? 

Edi was no human and he wondered if he could actually see her as the person she really was. All he saw right now was the robot's body she occupied but there was a lot more to her. Things he couldn't see and understand just yet.

Edi waited for her friend, but not so close to the showering area as to make him feel uncomfortable. There was something in his words and actions that made her want to be as close as she could be to him.

Arlen rubbed his hair dry, still not any wiser, and noted how much more it was curling now. He left it like this. With a sigh he got dressed and these fresh clothes felt a whole lot better. The facial hair was a bit too much for his liking, but not shaving for ... two days? He shrugged at himself. There were worse things. Like getting sick and being out of the loop for two days. Arlen sniffed at himself and nodded. This was a lot better and he left the room. Only to nearly run Edi over and to the ground after rounding the corner.

"Edi? Sorry...! I.. did you hurt yourself?" The urge to drag her off into a corner and kiss her senseless was terrifying.

"There is no need to apologize, Arlen. I am fine but I thank you for inquiring."

Arlen nodded, feeling dumb and bit his lip again. All he could think about since waking up was Edi, Edi and Edi. Not, oh, did you cure the virus? Have there been casualties? How was it cured, which version did work and why? Nothing. No urge to run off into his lab, study samples, write down his thoughts and theories, nothing. Just Edi. Maybe he was still influenced by that virus.

Instead he was staring down into her eyes, through that orange visor. Arlen reached out, turning that thing off with skillful fingers, having memorized where she had touched it. The question weeks ago, if he had urges and he had said no, he knew that if she asked him about it now, it would be a yes. But she had a robot body which was standing before him, and, it was practically naked already. No clothes, nothing to discover. It put him off, this 'body', or 'platform' as Edi called it. Was she even female? Nobody had ever questioned it, despite her platform. Everyone had just assumed Edi was female. Male or female, it wasn't what he was most interested in though, it was the personality. The character and what she represented, her own unique self. And it was right there, in her eyes. 

Edi watched him silently.

"Arlen? Are you well?"

Arlen nodded, he felt fine, despite being confused in his very own way. He closed his eyes and leaned down, feeling incredibly bold at the same time, placing his lips against hers, forming and creating a gentle kiss onto Edi's lips. 

How strange. Giving an AI, a robot, a mechanical being, a kiss. And yet that wasn't what he saw in Edi, looking past all of this. The lips felt certainly different, smooth, but .. different. At the same time of feeling conflicted of doing something like this, for the very first time, with an AI, robot, a ship, whatever; Arlen felt like he was going to burst from joy and more.

Edi mimicked him and closed her eyes, taking in the sensation of his lips on hers.

Arlen slowly pulled back, watching her face when no real reaction came. Maybe it had been wrong and he frowned a little. Was she okay with this? He hadn't asked. Arlen coughed softly, unsure on what to do now. Apologize?

"Edi...? I.. I don't know what came over me," he said, while thinking 'Liar! You know damn well why you did it.' Did people ask for permission to be kissed or kiss? Arlen didn't know at all. "Please, forgive me."

Edi gently raised a finger to his lips and placed it there to stop his apology.

"I have told you to not apologize to me." She smiled. "I enjoyed the sensation."

Arlen nodded, she enjoyed it. Was this good? Yeah, it was, he decided. But where to go from here, what now?

"I.. I ah.. I did, too." Arlen told her, smiling. In his mind he hugged Edi and picked her off the floor. For real, he was lost, aside of being happy that she enjoyed it.

"I am glad then. I was worried that perhaps I was... unacceptable at this task."

Arlen looked surprised at this, Edi calling it a task and unacceptable. "Uhm.. no. No. You weren't Edi. I just.. uhm. You have more experience with these kind of things than I do," he chuckled softly and looked a bit shy. "W..would you like me to .. do it again?"

"Only if you wish to Arlen. I found it... most pleasant."

"Yes," Arlen replied softly, "I would like to. I found it most pleasant, too."

"Then please, go ahead. I would very much like to experience the sensation again with you."

Arlen leaned down and gave her another soft kiss, noting he felt less difference this time. When he pulled back Arlen hugged her then and closed his eyes. They had hugged before and he saw no reason why not doing it again this time.

Edi hugged him back gently, wondering if they were becoming - as organics put it - more than friends.

"Edi?" Arlen asked softly with a sigh. He could enjoy this for a lot longer and more often, but he had to get a grip on himself and back to the job he loved. "I.. uh," he changed his question, "I am inexperienced." Arlen chuckled softly then, feeling a bit weird. But he had told her before, kind of.

"I have several files we could consult if you wish some instruction..."

"Uhm.. no," he looked away with a grin, "I know all about the basics and. I'm a Doctor Edi, I'm supposed to know about these things." He shook his head a bit, feeling somewhat embarrassed. "I.. I only never did.. anything with anyone. I am, no. Was, I wasn't interested."

"Then I am most glad you are interested now." Edi smiled and put a hand on his face gently. "Most glad indeed."

Arlen nodded, smiling at her and chuckled softly. He felt very happy and scared at the same time. "I should go.. back to work, but I don't want to."

"I will always be waiting for you." Edi replied, hoping it was the right answer.

"Oh. Oh, yes." Of course she would, she was the ship and a lot more. "Thanks. I will, too." Arlen changed the topic quickly, now asking what he had had in mind before. "Have there been other severe cases like me? I know I brought this onto myself, testing the cure. I haven't seen the Captain or the Commander since waking up."

"Joker was very ill as well. I believe Captain Alenko managed to cure him. As for our Captain... she insisted on not allowing anymore cure tests be run on you so she volunteered and also became more ill. But not as bad as you. We now have a working and viable cure."

Arlen nodded and just listened. Good news and bad ones. "But they are fine now, aren't they? Joker and the Captain. And well.. me, of course. I feel fine." Arlen remembered that he had been running tests and popped a lot of pills which only made it worse and then there was nothing until he had woken up earlier. 

"I worried you, didn't I? I'm sorry I worried you. I don't even like being down with something, even if it's just a cold it makes me feel weak and I can't go on about my work and do what I like to do and I'm vulnerable, unable to protect myself. And.. all those people I care about." Arlen trailed off, stopping the rambling.

"I was worried, yes. But please, do not concern yourself. You are well now and that is all that matters."

Arlen sighed softly and nodded at her, giving her another smile. "Back to work, yes? Where is the Captain?"

"Indeed." Edi walked next to him. "I believe our Captain is walking around with her husband, trying to feel comfortable amongst others once more."

"Oh, that's good to hear she's trying. I hope she doesn't expect too much of herself though, people tend to push themselves too hard after traumatizing events and become upset at themselves for not being able to function the way they did before. Which only worsens their condition temporarily, until they realize what they did or someone points it out them by trying to help. Which they might not like either." Arlen told her with a sigh.

"How would you suggest we aid in her recovery "

"I don't know Edi. It's very different for everyone. She might find some peace in doing something like music, dancing, drawing. Some people write, or paint, I began playing the flute. It helps to focus on something else aside of the pain in your soul. Some people begin drinking, or slip into drugs, others just close down and become unresponsive. It is easy to heal a wound, fix a broken arm or something else, but when your inner self is hurting, it cannot be fixed with a splint or a pill. It needs people around you to understand and love you no matter what happened to you. The Captain isn't alone, she has her husband. This is good, because he loves her, but they both might need help. The Commander might need help too."

"Because his sister tried to turn him into a husk? Or do you speak of Commander Shepard?"

Arlen stopped walking and looked at Edi. "Commander Alenko, Edi. His wife has been violated and yes, you're right, he might need to deal with what his sister had done to him too, but I think." Arlen stopped, trying to think of a way to explain it better to her. "If something happened to you Edi and I can't help or prevent it and have to see how much you're hurting because of it and I can't really help you... I was eight years old Edi and had to watch what was happening to my family. I was there and .. couldn't really help but I tried and got implanted, yet I still tried to help and they hurt me, threw me away into a corner to die and I watched... The Commander, he might feel as helpless as I did and the time will come for him to question himself why he couldn't help."

"I am uncertain how to proceed if that happens Arlen..."

"I could.. talk to him, if he feels comfortable enough and give him advice." Arlen sighed softly, "Most of all, understanding and patience from anyone he lets close enough to him and his feelings. It might not be the Captain but someone he trusts to confide in. I don't know who this could be. I tried to offer him help a few days ago when .. I was helping his wife. He said they'd talk to each other and not need any outside help. But outside help can help to put things into perspective, someone uninvolved can gently point into a direction the victim doesn't see or.. thinks about." Arlen sighed again. 

"It took me years to understand it. I couldn't help and it wasn't my fault because I was a child. I am.. still scarred by it and it can trigger certain behavior in me. I am afraid of... relationships, of losing people and.. and when things go intense in a certain way I might fall back into old habits. Here...," Arlen spread his fingers, showing her the bitten off nails. "That.. that happened when I was in the ducts, watching the Captain. I.. I sometimes flee and hide in a hidden place, away from people and am terrible at socializing. Sometimes I offend people without wanting to and I just want you to know this about me Edi, I don't want to hurt you when out of the blue I disappear on you or don't want to be close to anyone and snap at .. people."

Edi gently took his hands into her own and examined the tips of the fingers.

"Why would you harm yourself in this manner? I do not fully understand. And please do not worry if you yell at me, I will never take offence."

"I was scared, Edi. Frightened." Arlen sighed. "And feeling helpless. I couldn't help my Captain."

"None of us could help her Arlen. That is no reason to harm yourself." She put a finger under his chin and made him look at her. "I will not allow you to harm yourself again."

Arlen nodded, but she only understood half of it. "Edi.. thank you. I .. it might happen again. It's," he frowned, wondering if that would make more sense for her, "It's like a programming starting to run when it becomes overwhelming, having to witness it again. Sometimes, it's other happenings which can trigger such behavior. Sadly us humans can't erase such a faulty program and adjust our parameters, we have to live with it for the rest of our life. These scars can heal, but will never be completely gone." 

Even the simple touch of her finger made him tingle inside and he wanted to lean in, enjoy it, but couldn't.

"I understand." Edi spoke softly. "Perhaps more than you realize. I promise I will take care of you to the best of my abilities."

Arlen smiled, even more now and he wanted to laugh and hug her. "I promise," he began, it nearly sounded like a lot more than just a simple vow, "I will take care of you to the best of my abilities, too."

Edi smiled broadly. No one had ever told her this before and it felt... good.

"I know you will." To her, it felt like the right thing to say and she meant each word.

Arlen laid his arm around her shoulder, walking with her back to the med-bay.

* * *

Irimsaya walked silently with Kaidan, his arm around her waist as gentle as a feather.

"You've gone very quiet Kaidan... Should we talk?"

Kaidan looked at her, having just been thinking about home. They had been away from their babies for so long, he missed them terribly. Including the house and pets, his garden. It had been happy times. 

The past weeks had been murder. Starting with being used, implanted, being used again, nearly losing Saya to a poison he was breathing onto her, over to her becoming willingly a slave again, her being violated, Elaine messing with him, that thing, those voices in his head which were gone now thanks to the nanites and then this virus. Or meeting his own self which was mind boggling. Kaidan was exhausted, in every single and possible way. But he had to be strong, for Saya.

"I guess I'm still feeling a little tired from the last few days."

Saya stopped walking and turned to face him, concern in her eyes.

"Kaidan... maybe you should go back to the Normandy and get some rest. You've been through... well a lot. I'm worried about you."

Kaidan nodded, resting sounded good, too good. But leaving Saya alone? No, he wouldn't want that at all.

"I'm only tired Saya, you don't need to worry about me. I don't want to be away from you. Maybe this sounds whiny or something, I", he paused, wondering if that was the right thing or whatever, he wasn't even sure about it at all if going home was the solution to everything, "I'd rather go home with you."

Taking his hand gently in hers, Saya nodded slowly.

"I've been thinking a lot about our babies. I miss them so much Kaidan. So very very much." She took a shaky breath. "I need to talk to Arlen too about something. For now though - let's both go back to the Normandy okay? Let's just... have some us time."

Kaidan nodded and squeezed her hand gently. This sounded like heaven and just getting away from here was even better. "Maybe.. if you need my help with something, I could.. well, help," Kaidan said, referring to her mentioning their doctor.

"There uhm... well we can talk about it at the ship." Saya kissed his cheek gently, glad she still felt comfortable around him with everything she had been through.

 

It didn't take them long to arrive at the Normandy, since they were indeed both eager to be on their ship once more. Saya nodded to each crew member who acknowledged them when they passed then, once in their quarters, she closed the door and sighed softly, then turned to her husband.

"Finally some quiet..."

Kaidan walked up to her and took her into his arms carefully. "Yes, this feels like a sanctuary now, just our room where we can... just be."

Saya huddled against his chest, drinking in his scent.

"Yes... I think we both need this."

Kaidan felt himself sighing deeply and he relaxed. But he didn't know what to do now, sit down, lay down, just stand here?

"I miss dancing with you. Like we used to do years ago at Cora's Den."

Saya felt herself tense at the word dance.

"I...I might need help with that Kaidan." She was surprised that her voice was shaking.

Kaidan felt surprised, he hadn't thought of that. Old times were usually good memories, but dancing was something bad now too. What else would be bad now too? Food, drink, a scent, a noise? Something else he'd do by accident? What if he groaned at something out of habit and it would trigger something for Saya? He felt like crying, not for himself, but what they did to her.

"Okay, I will help. What would you like to do now? Sit down?"

Shaking her head slowly, Saya gently put one of his arms around her waist and clasped his other hand gently.

"Remind me of our dances." She tried to smile. "Make me forget the other kind."

Kaidan nodded slowly. The room was quiet, no music was there, but he could do it. Kaidan closed his eyes and snuggled a bit closer. There were a lot of memories of them dancing together. Several times in Cora's Den and then on their marriage day. Not being the greatest singer, Kaidan began to hum and slowly their dance began.

Saya closed her eyes and leaned against his chest again as he reminded her of what it was like to be danced *with*. She didn't even realize when he stopped after awhile and was just holding her again.

Kaidan was gently rubbing her back up and down, lips kissing her hair over and over again.

Slowly and gently, Saya pulled away, watching him with eyes that showed her curiousity.

"Kaidan?"

The brows were knit together in worry and thought. 

"Saya?" Kaidan didn't know what to say and if, he didn't know how to say it at all, at a complete loss. He hadn't been drawing blanks like this before, there was always something he could say and if only to reassure his beloved wife, having her back.

Irimsaya sighed softly and closed her eyes, trying to focus herself again. She went back into his arms, albeit slowly, and hugged him gently.

"Sorry... I'm sorry..."

"What.. for? It was good and I enjoyed it." Kaidan was a little bit puzzled.

Saya just hugged him and held him, hoping he would figure out that his kisses had startled her but she was trying to work through it. There was no way she would voice that to him for fear of hurting him.

Kaidan smiled a little bit, glad that she went back to him.

"Why don't I go get you something to eat? You must be famished..." Saya pulled back and looked into his eyes.

Kaidan held her gaze, wondering a little bit. "Would you like to eat something too? I can bring both of us a snack, or whatever you want."

Saya reached up and kissed his cheek gently.

"If you're sure you're up for it... then yes please." She grinned.

That brought a grin onto his face too and he chuckled softly. "I am, I'm sure the little weight of carrying some food won't be a problem for me. Tea? Sandwiches, fruits, or something warm?"

"Sandwiches and fruits sounds wonderful... so does the tea to be honest..."

"Consider it done, my lady," Kaidan flirted with her softly before letting go of her to bring the desired food.

Dan was in the mess hall when Kaidan entered. He was slowly filling a plate with some light food.

Kaidan was so in thought for a moment he didn't realize who it was. Until the man turned around and he had another quick moment of surprise while looking at himself. 

"Captain," he greeted him, then felt stupid. "Dan."

Dan smiled at him and nodded.

"Kaidan. You know... I have to say I'm glad you didn't go gray. I look so much better with dark hair..."

Kaidan nodded, relaxing right away at seeing himself smile. 

"Well, thank you. I think I got some gray hairs when Saya died though. It's like silver strands, lining my sides." Which meant Dan had been through a lot. "If it means anything, I don't know, I'm sorry for what you've gone through."

Dan watched him then, after putting his plate down on the nearby counter, held out his hand to his twin.

"I didn't get a chance to do this properly before but... it's nice to meet you Kaidan."

Kaidan took it, wondering for a second if he looked as sexy as his twin. Probably yes. Now he wasn't surprised anymore by Saya and Jase flying after him like crazy, including a few of the other female and male population. 

"Nice to meet you, Dan. How.. are you?"

"Coping." Dan's voice was quiet. "Barely." But he smiled again. "I hear you have twins?"

Kaidan nodded knowingly, remembering the hard times they had with Jase and his own time when Saya had been gone. 

"Yes, we have a boy and a girl, David and Hilary. They're quite the pair," Kaidan chuckled softly and activated his omni-tool, digging up the pictures he had of them from Hawaii. He showed them with pride to Dan.

"Damn they're real beauties... Do you think I can meet them someday?"

Kaidan nodded, seeing no reason why he shouldn't see them. 

"We have a lot of room back home, I'm sure you can visit us or stay for a while. I could use some help in my garden." Kaidan grinned a bit, guessing by now the weeds had taken over. If he was lucky, one of the people at home were taking care of it though.

"You have a garden? Lucky... I had always wanted to make one for Jase..."

Kaidan was silent for a bit, watching the other him and wished he could help him. Kaidan could tell him so many things of the last years and about Jase and their family.

"Jase's been helping me with the garden and tended to it. Actually," Kaidan rubbed his head, "he's been doing a lot for me. For someone who's just a friend it was... even too much."

Dan picked his plate back up.

"I'm glad he was there for *you*." He stalked off to a table.

Kaidan shook his head and went after him, knowing he was hurting on an insane level. 

"Dan, he wasn't there for me, he was.. mixing us up. He always mistook me for you, projecting your person onto myself."

"You still had him. He still was there for you. He still...." Dan closed his eyes. "I can't talk about this right now."

Kaidan nodded a bit and laid his hand carefully onto his shoulder when he whispered, "All he sees in me is you. If there is anything I can do to help you and if you need someone who understands you best, please come find me and .. I'll be there for you."

Dan bowed his head for a moment then turned and looked at him.

"Thank you, I appreciate it."

"You are.. very welcome Dan. You're part of our family now, brother." Kaidan tried to reassure him with a smile.

"You better get your food before it's all gone." Dan waited until Kaidan turned to look, and see nobody else there, before he disappeared to his solitude.

Kaidan looked and when turning back the empty chair greeted him. He had no idea why, but that hit him hard. Kaidan went and got their food, including the tea, bringing it back up to Saya.

While Kaidan had been gone, Saya had managed to slip in and out of the shower quickly and put on a comfortable robe. She was lounging on the small sofa in their quarters when he returned.

"Sorry it took me so long," Kaidan said and went to their table, raising his eyesbrows at Saya and then he grinned a little. 

"I was saying.. sorry, I ran into .. well, me. Dan, into Dan." Kaidan put the food down and poured her a cup of the tea.

"Mmmmmh and how did that conversation go..."

Kaidan sat down and took a sandwich. "I'm not sure, good and bad."

Saya sipped at her tea, watching him.

"Tell me?"

"I think I messed it up, you know? I told him what Jase did for me, I mean I tried to make him see he did what he did because he saw Dan in me, but, I don't think it worked. He was upset and well, sad and jealous and tired."

"We've all had some rough days, Kaidan. He just needs to sort through his emotions - like Jase did."

"They still are in love with each other," Kaidan said.

Irimsaya took the sandwich out of her mouth, having intended on finally getting a bite to eat.

"What?!"

Kaidan looked at her, wondering why she was so surprised. 

"Dan didn't say that and Jase doesn't need to say it either. I know myself and Dan loves him and Jase, he might have finally gotten it into his head that I am not Dan and in love with you. Basically," Kaidan sighed, "if you look closely you can see he never stopped loving Dan, but began loving Joker too."

Saya slowly put her sandwich back down on the plate.

"If Jase even thinks about hurting Jeff...."

Kaidan was watching her and blurted out a question. "What would you do? If you had lost me, have fallen for another one and suddenly I come back, alive and still in love with you and you never stopped loving me. Would you come back to me?"

Saya stared at him, feeling a bit sick now.

"Kaidan... I would never love anyone else. No matter what you might think."

"I know you won't and that this might not happen, ever. Yet it happened to the other you. He came here under dramatic circumstances, moved on, fell in love and now Dan is back. I mean...," Kaidan paused, trying to understand this whole thing. "I couldn't move on when I lost you. Cerberus gave me back the greatest gift, you. Maybe... maybe if later I had met the right person, maybe I'd have loved someone again but my love for you wouldn't be just gone." Kaidan stopped then when he looked at her. It was hard to understand at all and when he thought he got it, it was even terrifying.

"I don't want to be in their shoes. And not in Jase's right now. I'm glad and happy to have you, I know where I belong - at your side."

"I...I honestly don't know what to say Kaidan. Other than I'm very very happy you feel that way about me. But..." She sighed and rubbed her eyes. "I don't even know what to say in response to that to be honest."

Kaidan nodded and drank some of the tea. The distraction with someone else's problem had been a welcomed one, making him not think of their own current problems. Now he was pondering if he should tell her about him showing Dan the pictures of their twins, knowing how much he himself and Saya missed their children.

Irimsaya watched her husband, absentmindedly rubbing her stomach.

"Kaidan... I think I should tell you why I need to talk to Arlen..."

Kaidan looked at her. "Is there.. you need.. more cream? I can ask him for more, I could do this for you."

Saya shook her head a very little bit.

"It's not that. Kaidan... I'm not sure if the birth control worked..." She trailed off, afraid of what his reaction might be.

Kaidan's eyebrows shot up and he had the same question on his lips as she did before, 'what?!' but it never came. Instead he eyed her, working this out in his mind. Eventually he looked at the empty fishtank and frowned towards her desk then, eying their bathroom door, wondering if he was going to throw up or not. He swallowed it down and coughed a little. 

"Uh.. you said, you aren't sure..." There was some hope in his voice that maybe he didn't need to worry about it. Or rather, that it wasn't the case.

"I'm not. I've had some nausea and some of the feelings when we conceived the twins... I mean if I am... god Kaidan I hope it's yours if I am..."

Kaidan knew it probably wasn't his though. The doctor would have been professional enough to check her for a pregnancy when implementing the birth control. Nausea, other feelings. Kaidan moved a bit around on the couch, trying to become more comfortable despite everything.

"Who's the father, if not me?"

Saya closed her eyes and she had gone very very pale.

"Udina." She whispered hoarsely.

Kaidan's biotics flared up and he had to work hard not to take the thermos and throw it across the room.

"Bastard. Bastard!"

That was all he said, knowing if he messed up now he'd lose her. The feeling of utter betrayal, up to hate towards the people who had done this to his wife, mixed with the love for her and the worry made it hard to think.

"Uhm.. okay. Okay," he said and closed his eyes. "Okay, if you .. don't want to go alone, I'll go with you."

To say that Irimsaya was slightly scared was putting it mildly. She saw the murderous hatred in her husband's eyes and it alarmed her.

"Kaidan... I'm sorry... I... I couldn't stop him... I would have if I could have.... and it's up to you if you want to come with me... Jase knows too and said he'd go with me..."

Kaidan rubbed his forehead, trying to push the increasing pounding down, it wasn't needed now as thinking was hard enough already.

"No," he began softly, "I'm your husband and I'll go with you. We both have to deal with the consequences in our relationship and not Jase."

Saya felt tears welling up in her eyes as she watched Kaidan.

"You hate me..."

"No. I hate what they have done to you," he replied, rubbing his head still. "I hate what they have done to us. This is something so cruel I would never even consider doing to another being or my enemy." Kaidan knew if he moved closer, just to comfort her, she'd startle and shy away. 

She drew her knees up to her chest and tried not to cry.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry.... I'm so sorry..."

Kaidan felt so tired, with everything that has been going on in the past few days and including the weeks before. He rubbed his eyes and wiped them before he laid his hand out on the couch, in reach for Saya.

"I.. would like to comfort you," he said softly, "I'm afraid to startle you. I don't know anymore what is right and wrong, what I can do and can't.. I don't want to hurt you."

Saya bit her lip and looked at him then nodded slowly.

"I would like that..."

Kaidan nodded, holding up the hand for her to take it. Whatever she was okay with, he needed to deal with it. By now he was wondering if he was able to actually sleep next to her in their bed or if he needed to take the couch, for Saya's comfort.

Saya slid over and wrapped her arms around him.

"I love you Kaidan."

Kaidan held her carefully, afraid if he put too much pressure onto her it would scare her. "I love you too. You're my wife and.. I love you."

Irimsaya nodded a little and snuggled in as close as she could get.

Kaidan sighed softly eventually, relaxing a little. But there was another growing problem and he was ashamed that he reacted to her when Saya didn't need this at all. Especially after this confession and his outburst. It shamed him to react to her in such a way. He shifted a little, trying to hide it from his wife.

Saya giggled a bit.

"Sorry but really? A hug turns you on?"

Kaidan looked a bit mischievous. "Yes." He didn't tell her that it wasn't the first time either. Her smell, closeness, warmth and her breasts pressing into him was all that it needed to turn him on. "I'm sorry."

Saya turned her face up to his and kissed him passionately, forgetting the tears she was about to let loose. All she wanted now was to make him happy.

Kaidan grunted a bit in surprise and a quiet voice told him 'Careful!'. Kissing her felt so incredibly good and he returned it eagerly until he had to break it to gasp in some air. And his eyes met hers, searching for something.

"I want to be yours again Kaidan. Body, mind and soul..."

Kaidan swallowed and nodded. "And I want you, everything of you." Now he had to be careful. "I don't want to hurt you," he told her, knowing full well she wasn't healed down there and still in a lot of pain. But the thought of her sitting on his lap on this couch was... he wanted it so much, but not for causing more pain. There were other options.

"You could never hurt me." Saya whispered. "Never."

Kaidan wanted to love her badly and he nodded. "I want .. to love you. I would like to have you loving me too, on your terms and everything."

Irimsaya silenced him with another kiss.

"Then do it." She whispered.

"N.no," Kaidan nearly whimpered a little, "I'm yours, you need to do it."

Irimsaya gently slipped out of his arms and undid the robe, letting it slide to the floor and reveal her naked (and still somewhat bruised) body to him.

"Bed, Commander."

Kaidan raised an eyebrow and nodded, following her 'order'. If he could, he was going to kiss those bruises.

Saya sank onto the bed and watched him hover uncertainly.

"It's alright Kaidan, I need this." Her voice was soft. "I need you."

"I trust you, I won't ... hurt you." Kaidan took off his shirt, nothing else yet and slowly leaned down to her torso, carefully lowering his head to kiss her skin. At least he had shaved today and wouldn't cause any scratches.

 

When Saya awoke next she smiled to herself and nuzzled closer to Kaidan's chest. She finally felt at ease again and felt she should have asked this of him the second they had brought her back to the Normandy.

Kaidan moved and laid his arm closer around her, caressing her back gently while laying there half asleep.

Sighing softly in happiness, Saya reluctantly pulled out of his arms, hoping not to wake him fully.

Kaidan rolled onto his side, watching her through half closed eyes.

Saya slowly put her robe back on then held the wall for a moment to steady herself.

"Saya?" Kaidan asked, pushing himself up onto his elbow, now fully awake.

"I'm alright." Saya turned her head a bit to look at him. "I'm sorry I woke you."

"You didn't wake me," he smiled a little, watching her.

"Oh..." She kept her hand on the wall. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," he nodded. "I'm fine Saya. Thanks for asking. I'm more.. worried about you."

"I said I was alright and I... I meant it..."

"Okay," Kaidan replied softly and laid back down, "I'm sorry."

Saya closed her eyes at that.

"I'm sorry Kaidan. I seem to be saying that a lot lately..." She fully turned to him. "I could use the cream to be honest."

Kaidan looked at her and nodded, getting up right away. Kaidan quickly slipped into his boxer shorts. "I'm sorry I hurt you," he said softly and fished it out of the nightstand.

Saya actually chuckled weakly.

"If I recall this wasn't your idea.."

Kaidan grinned a bit at her and waited then for Saya to lay down. He was sure part of this had been his idea too, after all he had triggered it.

Slowly and carefully, Irimsaya lied back down on their bed and gave him access. 

"I'm glad you can do this. I don't think I'd want to go to Arlen each time." She laughed a bit.

Kaidan glanced up at her, agreeing with this. "I'm glad I can do this for you. You're my wife." Kaidan paused a little, gently applying it. "I don't like being touched down there either, Doctor or not. It's well, private." And for himself it meant easy access, unlike for a woman where it was more intimate and even vulnerable.

Saya found herself sighing in relief when he was finished.

"I swear you have magic hands."

Kaidan chuckled softly and went to wash his hands. "I'm glad you think so. And I'm still sorry I hurt you." When he walked past the table he eyed the food, but found himself not hungry once again. "Whenever you want to see the Doctor, I'll go with you."

Saya was watching him.

"Alright I appreciate that. Kaidan... When was the last time you actually ate?"

Sighing softly, Kaidan rubbed his forehead. Apparently he could never keep anything from her. "Yesterday."

"Kaidan... You need to keep your strength up." Saya was concerned now. "Especially after what Elaine did to you."

"Mmh," was all that Kaidan said for the moment. He hadn't seen her since, only heard they were healing her as well. She hadn't come to him to apologize either which was something he'd been expecting from her.

Saya looked down at the covers on the bed and plucked at them. 

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Kaidan went to their bed and sat down next to her, laying his arm around her shoulder. "She hasn't approached me, hasn't even said sorry. Come to think of it, I haven't seen Hilary or Jase either." Kaidan frowned, that wasn't what she had asked or suggested though. "With everything that has been going on and has happened to us, I feel... lost. I have been trying to think it through, understand it and put it behind me but my thoughts are empty. Empty," Kaidan nodded.

"Oh... I..." Saya wasn't quite sure how to react to that. "Is there any time they're not empty?"

"When you are there, at my side."

She looked at him again and leaned against him.

"No other time?"

This worried her greatly as it reminded her of the mindless husks.

Kaidan shrugged a little, he had been talking to Dan after all. "I was talking to Dan, I felt focused and still acted like... a jerk. He might think I'm a jerk, I don't know I was just glad Jase wouldn't focus on my person anymore and project anything onto me but this doesn't have to anything with my thinking. I feel lost, and.. I remember everything. Why am I here? I could not help you, fight for you, free you, I could not use my biotics, I could not make her stop."

"You're questioning why you're alive?" Saya went pale at the thought.

"No. No," Kaidan shook his head, rubbing his neck. "I .. am questioning my quality as a husband and Alliance officer and why I was not able to help you. I, uh.. want to take you home, goo at our children, play with them, change their diapers, teach them walking or their first words, rock them into sleep. I want to tend my garden, wake up next to you every single day and completely forget about the past few weeks. I have never felt like this before in my thinking." As if he wasn't himself anymore, but Kaidan didn't say it. There was one similar time after Jump Zero. He had disappeared for years, sorting himself out.

Saya bit her lip hard. She was trying hard to understand what he was saying but was having a difficult time wrapping her mind around it. The Kaidan she had always known loved the Alliance and everything about it. To hear his words now... Was almost alarming to her.

"We will do whatever you want Kaidan."

Kaidan nodded slowly. "I could.. use some guidance, on what to do."

"Oh Kaidan... I wish I had some." Saya reached up and gently stroked his hair. "I can tell you about the dreams I had... the shadows lurking.. but it wouldn't help you. The only thing that ever got me through any of my hard times was you."

Kaidan leaned into the touch and closed his eyes. And then he smiled at what she had said, he got her through hard times.

Saya kept stroking his hair.

"Tell me what you think I can do to help you Kaidan."

Kaidan had no real other answer to this than wanting them to stay close. "Maybe, maybe a good nights rest with you being at my side helps me to clear my head, put things back into perspective. And seeing our children again, in a week, or two."

"Then we start with the first request." Saya gently lied them back, making sure his arms were wrapped around her.

"This.. this sounds good." Kaidan snuggled up with her, he was indeed terribly tired. "And it feels good, too."

"Shhh sleep Kaidan." Saya began humming a lullaby to him.

"Love you," Kaidan whispered with a smile and fell asleep then.

 

Dan was so busy monitoring things going on in New Omega that he hadn't noticed he was no longer alone in the room.

Hilary smiled a little, yet she was worried about her friend and walked over to stand behind his chair. Carefully she laid her hands onto his shoulder, noting how tense he was. 

"Kaidan, you are all tense. You are working too much again?"

"I never work too much." Dan answered quietly then sighed as her hands moved into the familiar massage. "You always seem to know what I need huh?"

Hilary grinned, working the kinks out of his muscles. "I'm your best friend Kaidan, I should know what you need, most of the time." She worked some more on him. "And I think to know something is bothering you, again."

"Just the usual, Hilary. Loneliness." Dan reached back and took her hands in his then swiveled in the chair to face her. "I'm happy you have Jeff back though."

Hilary smiled and looked even a bit shy. "Thank you, he is... Jeff." She laughed softly when thinking about her brother and turned back to watching Dan. "Maybe I can find you a boyfriend Kaidan," Hilary teased him gently.

Dan sighed softly.

"I'm not sure it would do much good Hil. I miss Jase still even though he's right here, you know?"

"Yeah... I know, it's in your eyes all day long. Do you still think we did right by letting him believe you are dead?" Hilary bit her lip, studying him thoughtfully.

"We had no choice. Elaine had to think I was and she was sure to tell Jase. If she had thought I was still alive before coming over... well we wouldn't be having this conversation."

Hilary nodded then and squeezed his hands gently. "Don't you hate it? Having to do everything for the greater good but not really anything for ourselves. What are we going to do now Kaidan? Where are we going to live?"

"I guess wherever we want to Hil. I'm thinking of going to Thessia or somewhere out of the way. Somewhere he can't find me."

"Jeff asked me to come and live close to his home. You don't want to see Jase again?" Hilary looked at him, feeling more worried now than before.

"Hilary what good would it do me? In all seriousness... It would be like a knife driving into my heart each time I saw him because I know I can't be with him again."

Hilary nodded then slowly as she was thinking about something. "Yes, you are right. It would be too painful. I saw you watching his vids over and over again in the past years. Elaine should never have sent him over." Hilary left the rest of it unspoken.

Dan turned back to the monitors he had set up.

"What do you think I should do..." He was almost afraid to ask.

With a soft sigh she went back to helping his shoulders and neck. "Someone has been looking up your files over and over again. Said someone is still wearing your dog-tags. Upstairs is a bar, let us go there, drink and dance, go men sightseeing. Maybe one of us even gets lucky," she giggled a little but toned it down quickly.

Dan shook his head a bit at the news regarding Jase.

"That won't be helping his marriage much." He said softly.

"I wish there was something I could do to help my best friend. If I do, I'll break my brother's heart and he's really happy with him. And Jase seems to be happy with him, too. But there is something, just something that makes me think.... your former boyfriend is still very much in love with you." Hilary grabbed Dan by his hand and dragged him off his chair. "You and I, we are going clubbing. You need to think of something else besides Shepard."

Dan protested as he was dragged to his feet.

"Hey, shadow broker at work here!"

"Shadow Broker needs a bre-eak...!" Hilary replied, grinning and didn't let go of him. "Besides, there is a Shadow Broker already in this reality."

"So now you're telling me I don't have a job now either." He pulled out of her grip.

Hilary sighed and took his hand again. "You are thinking too much Kaidan. And I'm sure you can work with this world's Shadow Broker, because I know who it is." Hilary giggled and looked at him to whisper, "I hacked some files."

Dan shook his head a little bit.

"You go ahead Hilary... I'm definitely not in the mood now. I have no mate, I have no job... I should've just stayed in our reality."

Hilary looked sad then and sighed. "If you don't go, I won't go either." But then she was getting a little bit miffed. "Captain Alenko, don't even think in such a way. I do not want to lose you."

Dan sighed heavily.

"Fine I'll go with you. But I won't be happy I can guarantee that."

"I will ask you again once you are drunk," she giggled, grabbed his hand and dragged Dan upstairs. 

Hilary looked around, choosing a corner with no blinking lights for Dan's sake.

He sat down in the corner, glad to find some darkness in the room.

"You have something else on your mind Hil, what is it?"

Hilary just smirked, knowing it wasn't going to work to make him jealous of a few men she'd be hitting at. 

"Finding you a boyfriend. Or simply, getting you laid." Hilary grinned and ordered them each a drink, knowing Dan would take the usual. If he was ever going to touch it. Chances were higher for her to score a lottery than getting him to walk off with some guy for a night or finishing that drink.

Dan stared at the glass of liquid in front of him, remembering the time when he first had that particular drink... with Jase... it seemed so long ago. Back then he felt like he had everything... and now... now he had nothing.

Hilary sat down and rested her elbow on the counter, putting her chin onto the left hand and was watching her friend. She slowly slurped her drink, thoughtful eyes on Dan's face.

Dan felt the eyes on him and looked up at her, a question in his own eyes.

"Kaidan? Can I ask you something?" Hilary asked and took the straw back into her mouth, gently sucking on it.

"You're one of the few people who can ask me anything and get a straight answer." He responded.

Hilary looked a bit amused at the word straight and leaned forward. "....," she squinted at him, now suddenly unsure if she should ask it and bit her lip, going for the next try. "Have you ever slept with a woman?"

Dan raised an eyebrow at her.

"How much have you had to drink exactly?"

Hilary grabbed the drink and shoved it a bit more to him. "This one here? I was thirsty. And it tastes good. Lemon mixed with some sugar. It's sooo sweet and sour."

"If I didn't know better Hilary I'd say you were trying to flirt with me."

That brought a wide smile onto her face. "Kaidan? What if I am? We have been friends for so long and I like you, really really like you." Hilary drank the rest of her drink, feeling woozy. "Kaidan? Does this hurt our friendship? I can live with you saying no to me, since we were always looking at guys together. There is just someone else in this galaxy," she giggled, "oooh wait... two galaxies? Realities? Who likes you."

Dan held up a finger to her.

"Two things: first, yes I am bi. Second: I will not take advantage of you when you're drunk - Joker would kill me."

The finger was pretty interesting and Hilary squinted at it. "Are there two of your fingers, or three? Joker won't kill you, he'd break a bone on you." She stared at the drink, wondering what was in there. Usually it took her more than three drinks to get this stoned. "Pretty awesome stuff."

"And you are now officially cut off." Dan had concern in his eyes. "I've never seen you like this."

Hilary shoved it away, knowing he was right and looked at him, pondering the bi-answer. "Bi?" She smiled a little. "You can have any guy you want, I'm all for open relationships." Hilary said, ruffling her own hair.

Dan chuckled softly and rubbed his eyes.

"Hil, I'd rather discuss this when you're sober."

Hilary was sure he kind of knew about this, she often had picked up guys for a night while having tried to get Kaidan to get one too. Then she giggled softly and sighed dreamingly, stretching a little now.

"Mmmh... sober or not, the cat is out of the bag. This is who I am Kaidan." 

Dan raised an eyebrow at her.

"And do you like who you are, Hil?"

"Yes," she answered, moving around, arms never still, stretching here and there. "I'm smart, witty, pretty, I have a great friend... important.. work... Was, important. And lonely. Nooo, I don't like being lonely."

"I think we should get you back to the quarters you were given..."

"Ooh, you will bring me there?"

"If only to make sure you actually get there - yes."

"Mmmh... you are a good friend Kaidan. My best best friend," Hilary said and got off her chair. "Whooops!"

Dan let his biotics flare up and caught her before she hit the floor. 

"And this is why you're cut off."

Hilary nodded slowly. "I .. yes.. Thank you."

Dan smiled a bit and used the biotics to put her back on her feet gently then he got up and supported her.

"Come on, tell me where I'm going."

"Thank you.. Kaidan." Hilary nodded and carefully gave him the directions, making sure they'd reach her quarters and not someone else's by accident.

"Here we go." As Dan opened the door and led her inside. "Now you go to bed."

Hilary plopped down onto her bed and shook off her shoes. Then she yawned terribly long and rubbed her eyes. "Thank you. I'm sorry for ruining our evening out."

"You didn't, don't worry. Get some sleep and we can talk later." Dan smiled a bit and went to leave.

Hilary curled up in her bed and got comfortable. "Kaidan? You could.. stay. I will be a good girl and sleep."

Dan turned back to her.

"Hil - it's Dan now. And if you want the company I can stay - but on the couch."

Hilary sighed and nodded. "Okay...Dan... Dan... I like Kaidan better..." Hilary then was fast asleep.

Dan sat down on the couch, his eyes resting on her now sleeping form.

 

A few hours later Hilary woke up, head pounding. Grabbing the blanket she threw it over her head, trying to get comfortable again. Whatever they had served her was a lot stronger than anything she had ordered before.

Watching her, Dan lied down on the couch and let his eyes slide shut once again.

 

Two hours later Hilary shuffled to her bathroom and got herself a painkiller. When she came back out she saw Dan asleep on her couch. 

"Oh this looks uncomfortable," she whispered and grabbed a cushion and.. somewhere she had seen a spare blanket. "There you are, you little bugger," she found it on her chair, and dragged it over. She lifted Dan's legs up onto the couch and placed the cushion somehow close to his head and the blanket went over him.

"Mmh.." she nodded, satisfied and went back into her bed, curling up there and watching him.

Dan shifted on the couch and sighed into a deeper sleep.

By now it dawned on Hilary that Dan hadn't slept a lot. Bored, she yawned a little and went back to nap some more.

 

Slowly, as if coming out of a fog, Dan woke up and was surprised to find himself with a blanket on.

As soon as there was a noise Hilary cracked an eye open and was watching him with a grin. "Morning, sleepy head. You must have been really tired."

Dan rubbed his eyes and sat up slowly.

"How long was I out?"

"Longer than me," Hilary checked the clock. "Ten hours." Hilary crawled under her blanket and reappeared at the end of the bed, head first and crossed her arms, resting her chin on them. Her bright eyes were watching him. "You haven't slept a lot lately, have you?" Hilary asked gently.

"I haven't exactly had time to sleep." Dan watched her. "I was too busy trying to figure out an order to send people through and... how to greet him..."

"Ooooh," she nodded, "you have been working with Jase." Which explained a lot about the tension she had felt in his neck.

"To cure his husband." Dan was quiet.

Hilary nodded, piecing the information together. Curing her brother and then working on the order. "Thank you for curing my brother, Kaidan. Er.. Dan. Dan, of course."

"It was the only thing I could do Hil."

"Thank you, again. I'm very grateful." Hilary moved around on the bed and sighed then. "And I drag you out and make a pass at you," she scratched her head thoughtfully. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. You opened my eyes to a few things."

"Oh now you have made me curious. I'm all ears if you feel you can share it."

"How can you be interested in a guy with gray hair?"

Hilary giggled. "Because why not? He is handsome, smart, has beautiful eyes and the gray hair makes him even more sexy."

Dan raised his eyebrows.

"You think I'm sexy??"

"Hey I might be working a lot too, but I'm not blind, nor old and wrinkled. Yes, of course you are sexy, Dan-Dan." Hilary waved her feet up into the air, crossing them there.

"'Dan-Dan'?" He raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"If I can't call you Kaidan anymore, I'll call you Dan-Dan," she grinned back at him, watching him, wondering if there was more he had been thinking about.

Dan groaned and put his face in his hands.

"I can't tell you how much I hate that."

Hilary laughed this and felt bad for him. "Really? I'm sorry, I'll call you then.. Dan."

"I'd *really* appreciate it. It's bad enough not being able to use my own name." Dan sighed heavily. "I don't know why I came over, I really don't."

Hilary nodded, watching him with sad eyes. She knew he was going through the same they had seen Jase going through.

"Dan? I'm really happy you are here. I have missed you. I might sound like a selfish redhead, but you are my only friend."

Dan smiled a little bit at that.

"You are the most unselfish person I know Hilary. Believe me."

Hilary grinned. "Oh I don't know. I was trying to have sex with you last night. That was selfish," she waved her hand, but then smiled at him. "But thank you, Dan."

"I think you were just trying to make a friend feel better - for which he thanks you by the way."

Hilary nodded and moved swiftly as she got off her bed, dragging the blanket with her and knelt down onto the couch next to Dan. Her right arm sneaked around his shoulder and carefully ruffled his hair. Then she drew her friend closer and just hugged him. Somehow she thought he needed it.

Dan closed his eyes and sighed softly. Her arm around him felt so good.

"Thanks Hil."

"You are welcome," she answered softly. And she knew he would always stay Kaidan for her. If he was really going to Thessia, if she liked it or not, living among all those asari, Hilary would go with him. Leaving her friend alone amongst all those pretty blue babes was weird.

"Tell me what you're thinking right now?" He asked her.

"I would feel weird knowing you left alone for Thessia. All those blue Asari living there, thinking they know everything better. It would cause you too many headaches." Hilary grinned down at him gently.

"If I didn't know better I would say you're jealous of the thought."

"Yeees," Hilary played with one of his locks. "Men are one thing, females another, you know? Besides Kaidan, they always think they know everything best. Which they don't," Hilary pointed out.

"And you and I both know it Hilary. I would never let them be like that with me."

She nodded, pulling a face at how the asari would react to this. "If you are lucking for trouble, you might find it there. If not.. we could go someplace else. I just don't know wheeere this would be...," she nearly sang. "Preferably a place with some eye candy." She peered down at him, having some nice eyecandy sitting next to her. "Asari are no eye candy."

Dan sat up and looked at her oddly. 

"You're not exactly an one man kinda girl are you?"

"Mmmh.... I never was and changing them was easy. Not one of them was interested in me anyway, all they saw was having a girl for a night. Hey..," she shrugged, grinning, "I thought I can do the same. I can play their games too, you know. No regrets, just fun." 

Hilary thought and got a dreamy expression on her face. "Maybe one day I will settle for one man, if he asks me to marry him and he loves me, really really loves me. Someone smart, handsome, sexy... aaaah," she sighed deeply, "who will build me a home somewhere nice and we have a dog, he takes me out for some dancing now and then, clubbing, vids, invites me for dinner...," Hilary sighed again, "Oh yes.. for someone like this I would forget every other man there is in this universe."

Watching her, Dan raised an eyebrow.

"No high expectations there, huh Hil?"

Hilary grinned and went back to watching him. She knew nearly everything what she had told him fit the man in front of her at least. If he would bring home a man from time to time, or find another man who would live with them, she knew she would be fine with it. But no woman. That was out of question. "Maybe," she answered, drawing patterns on his shoulder. "And maybe not," she giggled then.

Dan shook his head at her, slightly amused by her behavior towards him.

"What else is in that pretty head of yours?"

Hilary giggled a little. "I don't know," she shrugged, "'m somehow more interested to hear what's in your .. handsome head of yours."

"Thanks for the compliment... I think... As for what's in it - there's a lot going on in it Hilary, there always is."

Hilary's finger moved on to his hair and was circling a curl on his head, playing with it. "You always keep everything to yourself, Kaidan. You don't have to, I would like to listen to it, no matter what it is about."

"Right now I'm wondering just how long you've had this crush on me..."

"Mmh...," Hilary grinned while avoiding to look at him. "Let me think," she stretched a little then. "Since we met."

Dan shook his head a bit, slightly amused by this.

"You're kidding right?"

Hilary chuckled softly, figuring he was thinking that she was joking. She bit her lip and shook her head. "Nope. Am not."

Dan leaned forward and rubbed his face, his thoughts now feeling like a jumbled mess.

"Right..."

"I'm sorry," Hilary said softly and rubbed his back a little. "We're just friends right now, yes? I.. you need a good friend right now and I want to be that person."

"You already are that person Hilary, trust me on that. And having you as that person has always felt right for me. You got me through Jase's.... absence."

Hilary reached out and stroked his hair gently as a gesture of friendship. "I did that, didn't I. If my brother was a bit more like me, accepting someone else at his side, you could be a bit more happy now."

Dan shook his head a bit.

"Nah, I don't think I would be. I'm not into 'sharing' the person I love."

Hilary nodded, smiling a bit. "I know, not everyone is able to do this." She fell silent, stroking his hair a bit more. "What are we going to do now?"

"I have no idea." His voice was empty and hollow.

"What.. would you like me to do to help you?" Hilary asked, having laid her arm around his shoulders again.

"I don't know Hil.... got anything in mind?"

Hilary had something on her mind, but this would only throw her friend off balance even more. She sighed deeply. 

"I don't like playing with people's feelings or upset them even more they are already. Nope. Aside of dragging your cute butt someplace else, nope. Nothing, not at all." She shook her head, eyes looking at the ceiling for a second, thinking of a few things. 

"Would... would you maybe like to take in some fresh air with me? That might help a bit..."

Hilary got off the couch and stretched, smiling. "I would like that! I haven't seen a sky for so long. I don't even know anymore what a peaceful sky without Reapers is looking like. But I need a shower first. A girl needs to smell pleasant and not like a rag doll."

Dan nodded and stood up.

"I'll meet you at the airlock then in about 30 minutes?"

"Okay, I will be there. 30 minutes, airlock of New Omega, got it. Can't miss it. There's just one airlock," she giggled and sprinted off into her bathroom.

 

Saya gently extracted herself from Kaidan's arms once more and went to put on her uniform. Once that was done she sighed and hit her comms unit.

"Captain Shepard to Commander Shepard, you there Jase?" She kept her voice quiet in the hopes of not waking her husband.

Jase sat up straighter, having just daydreamed and shut off his terminal before he hit the comm. "I'm here. What do you need?"

"I need to talk to you... Where are you?"

"New Omega, in Elaine's office," Jase answered, looking around a little. Meeting here was probably not on her most favourite places. "Where do you want to meet?"

"Somewhere... private if possible?"

Jase frowned. Private. There were only two places who could be as private as possible. "Your cabin? My cabin?" 

"Not on the Normandy... I need somewhere... else."

"The shuttle down here," Jase then suggested. He hadn't thought of that before.

"When can you be there?"

Jase left the office at that moment and was on his way to the lab's exit. "I'm already on my way."

Saya glanced at the bed again to reassure herself that Kaidan was still asleep and smiled a bit when he snored loudly. Very quietly, she slipped out of their quarters and headed for the shuttle. It was a pleasant surprise for her to find Jase already waiting outside the shuttle door for her.

"Sis," Jase went to her, giving her a quick hug. "What's going on?"

"I..." Saya sighed softly and looked at him. "I told Kaidan..."

Jase nodded slowly and just hugged her again. "How did he take it? How are _you_."

She closed her eyes and leaned into the hug.

"Not well Jase.. not well at all... and no I don't think I am okay."

Jase gently rubbed her back a little. "What exactly happened?" he asked her slowly and softly. Jase figured no husband would take such news easily, but not well at all? "He's not asking for a divorce, is he??" Jase looked like he was ready to knock some sense into Kaidan if that was the case.

"No.. thank god no he's not asking for that. But he was mad... I don't think I've ever seen him that mad. He looked like he hated *me* for it. After that though... he wanted me."

"Sounds like he's confused," Jase thought aloud, still rubbing her back. "You sure he's been mad at you and not at," he paused, hating that name with a passion, "Udina?"

"I don't know Jase. All I saw was the hatred in his eyes and then he told me he would be there when I talked to Arlen and that you shouldn't be!"

Jase wanted to say wow, bloody hell, but didn't say it. Instead he rubbed Saya's back even more. "Ssssh... Sssh." 

Jase thought about he would feel if someone violated Jeff and he ended up with a baby. Of course Jeff couldn't carry a baby, but still. Jase knew he'd feel betrayed himself and in conflict about the baby, torn between accepting it and not accepting it. But he wouldn't hate Jeff for it.

"He doesn't hate you. He hates what happened to you." Jase told her, not commenting yet on Kaidan being there instead of himself.

Saya closed her eyes and sniffled a little.

"I don't know what to do Jase..."

Jase nodded, he could relate to that problem. "It's a good sign he wants to be there when you're seeing Arlen."

"Is it Jase? I'm not sure..."

"It is. He doesn't turn his back onto you. Instead he wants to be there. At your side."

"I'm more worried what he might say if it turns out I am pregnant."

"Yeah. There is that." Jase fell silent then, thinking about this situation while gently rubbing her back and staring off at some unseen point somewhere. After a while he spoke up.

"Kaidan loves you. He lost you once, nearly twice and then nearly again. He won't let you down." Jase looked down at her. "Hell sis, I'm hurting for you and we aren't even married. Can't even imagine what it's like for him." He added softly, "Or for you."

"I just wish this child was his Jase... I wish with all my heart..."

"You need to find out. Is there a chance it might be Kaidan's?"

"It's.... possible. *Slightly* possible."

Jase nodded and patted her back gently. "Find out. When you have the result, go from there." Jase still wondered how Udina got this done. Doc had put her on something. Jase sighed, shaking his head again. Men... Men.

"Thank you Jase..." Her voice was soft. "When do you think I should talk to Arlen?"

"As soon as possible. Take Kaidan with you. If he's like that, cutting him out won't do any good." He smiled a little at her. "I can wait outside instead."

"Alright. I should get back before he wakes." Saya got on her tiptoes and kissed Jase's cheek gently. "Thank you Jase, you're the best."

"Anytime, sis. Anytime." Jase watched her leave, staying behind. He pursed his lips and went into the cockpit and sat down there, bringing up Dan's voice message on his omni-tool and put it on repeat, thinking. Eventually he shut it down and rested his chin on his hand.

 

Saya slipped back into their quarters and found Kaidan sitting on their bed waiting for her.

"Oh sweetie I'm so sorry. I didn't think I'd be gone that long..."

Kaidan smiled a little at her. "Hey. Are you alright? You look a little bit out of breath."

Saya nodded a little bit.

"I'm okay. I promise. But I think it's time to talk to Arlen."

Kaidan looked at her, studying her a little bit and then he nodded. "Yes. I just need to freshen up a little bit, I feel like.. someone has punched me over good. At least my head seems to be clearer," Kaidan told her as he got up and walked to her, giving her a hug.

Irimsaya watched him go into the washroom then sat down on the couch and sighed heavily.

Kaidan came out soon, having hurried up and walked down towards the drawer to get some fresh clothes while rubbing his hair dry. When his eyes fell onto his wife he saw she looked miserable and scared.

"Saya, you're my wife. Whatever happens down there, whatever we get told, we're in this together as a pair."

"No matter what happens - promise me you'll always love me? I need to hear you make the promise... please..."

"I love you. I'll always love you." Kaidan looked at her, meaning it. This was also the reason why he felt so hurt by what had happened to her. Kaidan knew he was suffering with her. "Always. I gave you a vow four years ago, I'll never break it. I.. just can't."

Saya bravely stood up at his words.

"And I will always love you Kaidan. Let's go see our Doctor."

Kaidan nodded and hurried up, finishing getting dressed. For a second when he took her hand, ready to go with her to their Doctor, he felt like it was all but a dream. Unreal. But it was real. Very real.

It didn't take them long before they arrived at the lab where Arlen was still working on New Omega.

"Arlen?" Saya's voice was quiet.

Arlen turned around and instantly smiled at her. "Captain, Commander. Everything is running smooth, no new infections to report. I see a lot of healthy people around here today. What can I do for you?"

Saya raised an eyebrow, noting a change in him. He seemed happier than she remembered ever seeing him.

"I need your help Arlen. I....I think I'm pregnant..."

Arlen nodded slowly, wondering. He had made sure this wouldn't happen. "Please, come with me Captain," Arlen said, leading her into a more secluded area.

She followed him, well aware that Kaidan was still gripping her hand tightly. Saya knew that for some reason he didn't want Jase there so she hadn't been able to contact her brother.

Arlen let Kaidan sit down, figuring he wouldn't want to leave his wife alone.

"A scan will clear this up, ma'am."

The omni-tool lit up and Arlen scanned her and looked at the pair. Then he did another scan which was more thorough and sighed, nodding at himself. He should have caught this when they had freed her, but he didn't. Arlen had a hunch, the little one was along a few weeks already and he knew it wouldn't be from her ordeal with the slavers.

"Allow me please, Commander." Arlen said and just waited for the nod, scanning Kaidan. Then he grinned.

"Congratulations, Captain, Commander. You both are expecting a healthy baby." Arlen brought up the scan, showing the pair the tiny bubble which was their unborn child. Not a twin pair this time, just one tiny baby. And a healthy one at that.

Saya couldn't help herself, she broke down in tears. But this time they were tears of happiness and joy.

Kaidan hugged her and just laughed softly, relaxing more and more. Then he kissed Saya's cheek several times.

Arlen got working right away, updating her chart, putting together some meds and vitamins to help her body deal with the additional current stress and printed out a picture of it. It was old fashioned, he knew, but felt it was fitting. Arlen couldn't help but smile broadly at the picture and handed it to them.

"Congratulations, again."

Making sure she stayed in Kaidan's arms, Saya took the picture gently then smiled at Arlen.

"*Thank you* so much Arlen. So very very much."

Arlen nodded and wanted to apologize for not having caught it earlier, knowing he should have, but the pair was so happy right now. "It is my job, Captain. You are very welcome." His eyes fell onto a person outside of the area and nodded. "Please excuse me Captain, there is a patient waiting for me." He smiled at them again, and left, grinning to himself. His Captain was having a baby.

Irimsaya looked at Kaidan, her eyes still shining with tears.

"If I had known before... Kaidan I wouldn't have done the undercover work... I'm so so so sorry."

Kaidan kissed her again, feeling just extremely glad right now it was from him. He didn't know what else to say about her apology.

Saya clung to him tightly. The thought that she had not only put herself in danger but their unborn child made her feel ill.

"We might want to start thinking about a name, tell your mom. I'm just...," he paused, sighed and gave her a kiss again. "I'm just so gald I'm the father."

"Believe me, you're not the only one." She kissed him gently and was still kissing him when Jase ran in looking out of breath.

"Everything alright?" Jase asked, eying the pair.

Saya didn't question how he knew they were there, although she suspected her slightly over-protective AI.

"You're going to be an uncle again Jase... and it's Kaidan's."

Jase gave her a smile and nodded, still eying them. "Nice. Congratulations, again."

Saya held out the arm that wasn't holding the picture, she wanted Jase in the hug with her and Kaidan. He really looked like he needed it.

Jase went to her right away, accepting the offered hug. "I'm happy for you. Both of you."

"Thank you Jase." Then she added in a quiet whisper. "For everything."

"Thank you too," Jase whispered back and then he let go. "Let me know if you need me, sis. I'm in Elaine's office." He told her and went back to the woman's place, knowing he had to face Elaine later as well.

Saya watched him go then looked at Kaidan again.

"You have no idea how happy I am right now."

Kaidan gave her another kiss. "I think I do. I really think I do."

Saya giggled a little bit when he kissed her.

"Stop finding my ticklish spots.."

Kaidan chuckled softly. "I'm sorry. No, I'm not."

She tiled her head to him and kissed him again.

"Why am I not surprised at that?"

Kaidan just grinned a bit and rubbed his cheek against hers, closing his eyes as he sighed softly.

"Want to go back to the ship? Have a little privacy?" Saya whispered in his ear.

"Yes," he nodded. "I'm.. glad. Happy. And we still have all our baby clothes." Kaidan chuckled then at this.

"Oh thank goodness for that!"

Kaidan chuckled and slowly stood up, taking her hand to lead her back to the Normandy.

 

Jase left the office and went in search for Elaine, needing to see how she was doing after Arlen tried to cure her.

When he found her, she was in her office and looking flustered.

"What did I do...." Elaine stared in horror at her workstation as it played a vid.

"Things you wouldn't have done normally." Jase walked in and leaned onto the desk, watching her, ignoring the vid. "How are you."

Elaine just shook her head a bit and looked at him with wide eyes.

"I feel like I'm coming out of a fog. I don't remember doing a lot of what I've read or seen here..."

"That's a long fog then. Four years?"

"Apparently. Damn Cerberus. They cost me EVERYTHING!"

"Not everything," Jase shook his head. "You're here and alive."

Her heartbroken eyes met his and she shook her head a little bit.

"I've hurt so many people Jase... especially you..."

"Okay," Jase raised his eyebrows, wondering what was to come now. "We never met. Before here." He motioned towards the lab.

"That doesn't mean I didn't ruin everything for you." Elaine said softly. "I read the file I had on you... the experiment I volunteered you for..."

"Go on," Jase told her. They had read a lot of files so far and nothing he had seen had indicated any experiment on him.

Elaine shook her head again and started pacing.

"I just can't wrap my head around any of this now."

Jase was watching her, figuring she'd eventually tell what she had found. "I know that feeling."

Elaine plopped back down into her chair and watched him with calculating eyes.

"I suppose you do, don't you. At least you didn't kill your own brother."

Jase crossed his arms and stared back at her. "My parents never had the chance to have a second baby."

Elaine looked at him again, her eyes softening.

"I know, and for that I'm so so sorry. Siblings are... well they're good support."

"That they are. So, Udina didn't kill Kaidan." Jase pointed out. 

"No, I did. I pulled the trigger." Elaine had tears in her eyes.

Jase rubbed his eyes and nodded, pondering if he should tell her or not. Maybe it was best he had a word with Dan first and let him decide if he was willing to pay his sister a visit or not.

"Okay," Jase said softly, "What else were you trying to apologize for."

"Sending you here." Elaine closed her eyes and put her face in her hands.

"What?!" Jase barked out. "Who gave you the god damn right to decide over my life? Why the hell did you do this?"

Elaine cringed at the shouting but knew she deserved it.

"The Illusive Man didn't tell me what the experiment was until after we had sent you through."

"Experiment?! How about considering the consequences for one second before doing it? Billions of people dying, a galaxy in ruins! Breaking Kaidan's heart. You could have stopped it!"

"If I could have I would have!" Elaine all but screamed at him. "By the time I knew what was happening I was already implanted with that... that THING."

Jase rubbed his face, shook his head and sighed. "Yeah. Fine."

Elaine started crying hard, knowing she has wronged so many thousands of people.

Jase ran his hands through his hair several times. When there was something he didn't like seeing at all it was people getting hurt, being hurt, or crying women. Why this bugged him so much was a question in its own, but somehow it triggered him into wanting to comfort them. Even Elaine, a person like her. A victim too. And someone who had tried to do the right thing at the end. But was it enough, now? Jase rubbed his eyes and pushed away from the desk and walked over to her, touching her shoulder carefully.

"Elaine," he said softly, watching her.

Elaine gently pulled away from him.

"Don't pretend to feel sorry for me. I don't deserve it."

"I'm not your judge. You yourself are." 

Slowly, Elaine lifted her head and wiped her eyes then turned to look at him.

"No... I'm not Jase. The people of our reality are my judge."

"And I'm one of them." Jase looked down at her for a while. "It's not a lot we're saving now. It's more than I ever dreamed of, though. A few months ago I believed I was the last one. I mean it when I told you you have a chance here. The Illusive Man in this reality wasn't able to do what you just did. Acknowledging you made mistakes. Done by your free will or not."

"*Mistakes*?? MISTAKES?! Shepard those decisions were more than just *mistakes*!"

"I don't care what you call it! Mistakes, errors, wrong doings, crimes, whatever! I've been living this for the past four years. You have a chance now, use it. Do something good! This reality is far from being back to what it was before the Reapers hit. Yeah we're lucky. We defeated them. They still left behind a path of devastation, countless death. You are your own judge. It's your face staring back at you in the mirror every day."

Elaine stared at him then slowly nodded.

"You're right... I'm still the head of our Cerberus. I'll put that to some good use."

"Do it." Jase felt satisfied, at least for the moment. He could finally go and do something else. Or think of something else. "One more thing, leave my sister's Kaidan be. For now at least. They've been through enough. If you need help, come to me instead."

Elaine closed her eyes in silent pain but nodded again.

"Alright."

Jase nodded and left her office in silence. Thoughts and feelings were a stumbling mess as he walked on, trying to find Dan. At least Jase didn't feel as angry as he usually had before learning Dan was alive and came back. The incredible anger had been replaced by sadness instead. And a constant pounding in his head, probably caused by the whole situation.

Dan walked into New Omega with a giggling Hilary at his side and he saw Jase looking around as if trying to find someone. The sight of his former lover looking so lost made his heart lurch in his chest.

Jase caught the sight of them and walked over, a bit unsure if Dan even wanted to talk to him.

Hilary squinted her eyes and leaned in to Dan. "I think someone wants to talk to you. I will wait over there for you, yes?"

"Yeah... sure Hilary...." Dan watched her go then looked at Jase again.

Jase approached him, carefully. "Do you have time, a minute, to talk?"

Dan crossed his arms and kept his eyes on him.

"Sure."

Jase felt irritated by this. "This isn't my mistake Kaidan. Nor yours. I wanted to tell you Elaine's being healed. I won't bother you anymore. I'm sorry for.. talking to you."

"Jase... what's your deal? I can't cross my arms?"

"Usually when you cross your arms it means you're expecting something _not_ good. Like, something's about to happen." Jase sighed. "Sorry. Elaine's in her office. I haven't told her that you're alive. She still thinks you're dead."

"It's also how I try to protect my feelings." Dan responded quietly. "And as for Elaine... I don't know how to handle that to be honest."

Jase nodded, watching him, finding him handsome and attractive as ever. "Well, she won't hear it from me. Until you give me the word. Or something."

Dan nodded slowly, having a hard time keeping himself in check. All he wanted was to kiss Jase senseless.

Jase was staring back, seeing and feeling what he wanted to do with him in front of his inner eyes and he swallowed. Then suddenly he heard Jeff's voice in his mind, yelling and screaming at him, 'You promised me! You said you loved me!'.

"God Kaidan. Why's this so fucked up. What have they done to us?" Jase whispered.

Dan felt his eyes watering a bit and it was all he could do to not go and embrace the other man and try to bring him some comfort.

"Hey... at least you still have a job to do. That's gotta help a bit. And you have someone who loves you deeply." He felt his voice crack a bit at the words as he said them. "You should be happy."

"Yeah," Jase nodded, looking away for a second. "I should. Shouldn't I? I know it's hard for you. I just.. love Jeff too. If I wouldn't, I'd take you away from here, in a heartbeat, rekindle what we had, continue from where we left off and... just love you." 

There was something else Dan had mentioned, but it hadn't registered until now. "This job? I got thrown into it, rescue mission. Kaidan had been kidnapped. Never planned on going back to active duty."

"My point is you *have* a place here. I don't Jase."

"And you need one too. A job at least," Jase nodded, understanding. "What would you like to do? I got a few contacts, can pull a few strings for you."

"The only thing I know now Jase is being the Broker."

"Alright. I happen to.. know this reality's broker." Jase grinned inwardly then when he thought of Liara.

Dan shook his head a bit, feeling depressed again.

"Kaidan, I know this is hard," Jase spoke softly to him, knowing how upsetting and confusing the first time had been for himself. Not being the Commander and XO of Anderson, instead someone who had to step back. "The first days and weeks are the worst. Would you like to meet with this reality's Broker? Having two would be extremely beneficial."

Dan shrugged a little bit.

"I wish I knew what to do."

"Listen," Jase's eyes twinkled a bit at the thought of being able to help him at least a bit, "You don't have to decide right away. But, let me get in touch with the Broker. You know how the system works and a lot of agents... The Broker could use your help. Do you trust me with this, Kaidan?"

"I won't say no." Dan said quietly. "The thought of being useless... it's incredibly hard.."

"Yeah," Jase nodded, thinking back once again. "Yeah."

"I should... I should let you get back to whatever you were doing.." Dan forced a smile to his face.

Jase responded to this smile right away, returning it with one of his own. Yet it was natural and not forced. "I'll let you know. It won't take long."

Dan nodded and went over to Hilary.

Jase scratched his head in thought about this situation while watching Dan walk away. He then blinked a little as his omni-tool reminded him of an upcoming meeting with an Alliance reporter who he had to give an interview.

Hilary watched her friend closely as he came over to her. "Dan? How did it go?"

"Hard." Dan's voice was quiet and obviously meant for her ears only. "All I wanted to do was take him in my arms again." He cleared his throat a bit. "He uh.... he said he's going to see about contacting this reality's Broker to see if they could use a hand."

Hilary nodded, feeling like she wanted to hug him to make it all better. For once she didn't say a word.

"So have you found a place for yourself yet here? Besides the thought of staying near me?" Dan asked of her.

"No, not really. I guess I should go and ask someone for help, shouldn't I? It's all a bit strange here and new." Hilary thought she should go and maybe ask her brother for any help.

"That's up to you." Dan replied sullenly.

Hilary sniffed a little, unsure of what to think or to do now. "Does it bother you, having me close by and tagging along?"

"No, not at all... actually it's quite hmmmm comforting to be honest."

"Mmh, this is good I think, thank you. What now? I feel lost to be honest, maybe Elaine needs me. I was thinking of asking Joker for help."

"I guess we each just do what we have to do." Dan was quiet.

"Which sounds so boring when you say it like this." Hilary took a curl and played with her finger with it. "This makes me wonder how all those other people will deal with this. They must feel as lost as we do."

"I guess they do." Dan sighed and leaned against the wall. "But forgive me if I focus on how you and I are feeling."

Hilary nodded at this. "Lost. It was nice outside, seeing the peaceful sky and no real destruction." Then she looked surprised as she saw Jase leading around someone who looked like a reporter, she didn't mention this to Dan though. "Well, I should ask my brother for help. Would you like to come with me back to the Normandy?"

"No, I'll hang around here for awhile I think." Dan said and rubbed his face.

"Will you be fine? I don't like leaving you all by yourself when you're hurting so much."

"I'll manage... somehow."

Hilary sighed, torn between wanting to drag him along, staying here or going up to her brother. "You remember my quarters are, yes? Here," Hilary sent Dan a message with her access code to his own omni-tool, "a good hiding place." 

Dan nodded once again.

"Thanks..." His voice was very quiet.

Enough was enough and Hilary couldn't hold herself back any longer, she took him into her arms as best as she could, carefully drawing his head down to her shoulder. "Will you be there?" she whispered.

Dan let her comfort him.

"Yes.... yes I will be there."

"Okay," Hilary sighed softly and let gently go of him, before Dan was going to think she was up to something else. She left without saying another word but kept her eyes on him until he was out of sight. Then she sighed very deeply and commed her brother. "Flight Lieutenant Jeffrey Moreau, do you have time for your younger sister?"

Joker opened his comm unit as fast as he could.

"Of course I do!! Get your ass up to my quarters!"

"You sound bored stiff, brother! I'm coming as fast as I can." Hilary answered with a chuckle and hurried up. 

The Normandy was still amazing to her and even now, seeing it for the second time made he stop for a few seconds to marvel at the ship's beauty. Then she hurried to the elevator, riding up to her brother's cabin.

"Oh wow, this one is as nice as the Captain's cabin," she said after he had let her inside. "Are you feeling like your old self again, Jeffy?"

"I'm getting there." He grinned at her. "You look excited and flustered all at the same time. Trying to confuse your poor brother?"

Hilary scratched her shoulder a little. "Why would I try to confuse you? I'm excited to see you and flustered because I came rushing up here to see you." She grinned and went to sit next to him.

"Well you're just the sweetest sister ever aren't you?" He was grinning.

"Am I? Really?" Hilary giggled softly. "You might not think this way after hearing my plea. I need your help Jeff."

"I'm all ears sis, what's up?"

With a heavy sigh she just blurted nearly everything out, minus Dan. "I feel lost. I don't know what to do, where to go, no one knows me, no one really knows my skills, I have no work anymore, just a lousy dark quarter down in New Omega. I am lost. Like, really lost."

"You do have a place. With me if you want it. I could use a good sister."

Hilary could see why he had captured a certain someone's heart. Her brother surely had been like this with Jase too. 

"I would love to, Jeff, but.. I'm unsure if you would accept Dan being so close to you. I would really love to."

Joker's face hardened at that.

"Yeah no, I don't want him near me yet. And why would he be?"

Hilary sighed a tiny bit, understanding the why though. "Because your doofus of a sister has feelings for him," Hilary admitted, grumbling a bit about it.

Joker stared at her in surprise and shock.

"You.... what?"

She hid her face in her hands and nodded. "Yeeeees... ."

"Uh... wow... okay...that's uhm... wow..."

"Yeah... Well brother dearest, maybe I should accept and come live with you. Kaidan, I mean Dan of course, wants to go to Thessia anyway and somehow I don't think he'll get over your husband anytime soon and maybe... where were you living again? I should go man hunting there, find myself another guy, at least for a while and .. I'm sorry. I shouldn't load all of this onto you. You're still getting better from this awful virus." Let alone hearing about Dan, someone he didn't seem to be too fond of right now.

"On Earth, in Hawaii. We have a shelter there for children." Joker said, not really sure how to comment on the rest of what she had said.

"Oh, this sounds wonderful. You and Jase created it?" Hilary sounded curious, this was about something they had no knowledge of as Darian couldn't update them on it.

"Along with Saya and Kaidan yes. It was something all of us felt we needed to do."

"Considering Jase's background, I suppose it makes sense. And the Captain and her husband seem to be nice people too. Mmh.. of course they are. They are basically the same person, what was I thinking?" Hilary laughed softly.

"Uhm.. yeah well when you're with them long enough you'll see they're actually not that much alike."

Hilary looked at her brother, there were a few differences with him as well. "There are a few with you too. You married a guy, you don't sleep around. You don't talk about sex with me. Sorry," she giggled a little and ducked her head, grinning at him.

Joker felt himself go red in the face as he kept his eyes on her.

"Are you saying the other me was... What's the term I'm looking for..."

"Mmmh...," Hilary thought, not wanting to embarrass him further by saying something else, "very open minded? He liked girls, women, we spoke about their anatomy, what men liked. Oh yeah, very open minded. You are cute when you blush, I'm not surprised anymore about Jase falling for you. I can see why he did." Hilary smiled at him and gently rubbed his lower arm a little. 

"Thanks... I think." Joker was silent for a minute as he collected his thoughts. "What is it you think you might like to do here?"

She shrugged. "I can do many things. I can teach, I can help repair ships, other tech. I could fly shuttles," Hilary grinned. "But I wouldn't want to steal your job," she gently patted his arm. "As long as no one expects me to cook or take care of little children, I can do and help with many things." 

"We could use a teacher at the shelter you know..."

"When you say it like this and I think of your home, it sounds like pure heaven." Compared to what Hilary had to get used to in the last four years.

"Well you're more than welcome to stay with us Hilary. I...I'd really like it if you would to be honest with me."

"Okay, I have been honest and will be honest with you. I don't appreciate people who are lying into my face. There is something on your mind? Something.. important to you?"

"What? I haven't lied about anything! Why would I??" Joker was flustered now and felt like someone had punched him in the gut.

"What? No!" Which earned Joker a confused frown from Hilary herself and a shake of her head. "Hello dear brother. Misunderstanding?" Hilary sighed and repeated it again. "I said I have been honest and will be honest with you. I don't like people who are jackasses and are lying into my face, just to get me to agree to something I wouldn't do, ever." She sighed again. "I'm sorry."

"Oh..." Joker sheepishly looked at his hands. "Sorry... I thought you thought I'd been lying to you about something."

"Why would you?" Hilary shrugged and smiled at him. "You wouldn't lie to me. However, there is something on your mind and I believe you wanted to ask me about something important to you."

"I was? Oh... mmm....I don't remember..." Joker forced a smile to his lips.

Hilary knew he was lying and squinted at him with one raised eyebrow, saying nothing else while playing with her hair again.

"Tell me about Dan and Jase?" Joker asked her quietly.

Hilary nodded, thinking he could have also asked her about things and she would have answered with a simple yes or no. "Okay.. well, there is Dan, there is your husband. When have you seen Jase last?"

"Last night." Joker continued in a quiet voice. "He left in the middle of the night. He thought I was asleep but I wasn't."

"Welllll...," Hilary started. "If you are afraid he was with Dan, I can tell you he wasn't. Because Dan spent the night in my quarters. I got drunk and he was watching over me. Jase spent a lot of time in Elaine's office, reading files aaaand.... I saw him earlier."

"Oh well...wait... why were you drunk???" Joker scowled at her.

"The drink they served me at New Omega hit me harder than anticipated Jeff. I thought I could drag Dan out and go man hunting, find a nice guy for him and one for myself, make him think of something else. Well, it wasn't meant to be, because I nearly hit the floor before even looking at a guy and instead ... I asked Dan if he ever slept with a woman. And he said... he said... he would take me home and make sure I don't do anything dense not wanting to... get into a conflict with you about me." Hilary scratched her head, trying to recall the whole conversation.

"Interesting. So he looked out for you huh. Hmm.." Joker scratched his head a bit in thought.

"Yeeep." Hilary nodded, wondering if she could tell him how Dan was feeling. "Dan... he doesn't want to destroy your marriage." But then she thought of another question, something maybe her brother could help her with. "Jeff? Do you remember what Jase was like when he came over? Dan is like this right now and... I was wondering how did you manage to snap him out of it?"

"I forced him to realize he wasn't alone. That there were people here who loved him." Joker said as he tried to remember. "And I think I might've kissed him..."

Hilary wasn't sure that this tactic was going to work with Dan. If anything she feared it might make things worse for the man. Dan had often looked confused and hurt enough. Hilary painted patterns onto the couch with her finger, looking thoughtful.

"Jase loves you. I don't know if Dan loves me, maybe I am too late, maybe I should have made myself more visible while we were still over there."

"He's your reality's shadow broker, Hilary. The man's made himself... hard to read if you will."

"So true, yes. So true." She paused for a while, thinking about this. Everything was just so confusing. Back in their old world it seemed so easy. Staying alive was the first goal, pushing the project forward and keeping Dan safe from Elaine. Hilary rested her chin on her hand.

"Jeffy? Jase tries to help Dan by getting in touch with this reality's Shadow Broker. Aaaand.. Jase is.. deeply in love with you. We have seen it on the vids. Your husband is moping around like he did years ago on the old Normandy." Hilary sighed, if only she could get through to Dan. And see his smile for real again without forcing it onto his face.

"Why is he moping around?" That caught Joker's attention right away. 

"I don't really know why," Hilary said, only guessing the why. "However, I have a guess. I haven't really spoken to him, only when he took me to you for the first time."

"Then tell me your guess, please?"

"Here it comes," Hilary took a deep breath. "He loves both of you so much but equally. There's something about your Shepard, it's his loyalty to the people he cares about and even more to you as his husband. But.. he is.. moping around and looks sad, sometimes lost."

Joker's face hardened abruptly.

"So he loves Dan as much as he loves me huh."

"I don't really know," Hilary repeated, "I am only guessing. But he loves you, you know?"

Joker went back to staring at his hands in silence.

Hilary was watching him, being reminded of Dan doing the same. "You and Dan, you both should meet. You two are very good with staring at something, faking smiles and just looking downright sad and heartbroken. Ah! I shouldn't have said anything, should I? You are lucky to have such a faithful husband."

"I know I'm lucky. I just hope I stay lucky because if his feelings for Dan are as strong as you suspect... well..."

"Well... If I'm lucky and Dan notices me for real we might not have to fear the other if. Aaand Dan does what he can by trying to avoid him." Hilary sighed and rubbed her eyes. "I am torn too, Dan is my friend and you are my beloved big brother. I want both of you to be happy, too. And I want to be happy too."

"You are such a sweetie, wanting everyone to be happy. You have to know that even on the route you want to go - someone will be unhappy."

"And yet we all could become happy," Hilary sighed. "I know I know. You are probably right. You always were right. Maybe for once you are wrong though," she laughed softly. "I will keep an eye on Dan. Oh, your Jase was dragging around a reporter when I left New Omega. Maybe my brother decides to bring me back to my current quarters and pays his husband a visit?"

"A reporter? Oh goody..." But Joker stood up nonetheless. "Alright Miss Moreau, let's get you to your quarters."

"Hah! I love how you say my name. Miss Moreau, Mister Flight Lieutenant Moreau, pilot of the incredible Normandy SR-2." Hilary laughed a little and offered Jeff her arm right away.

Joker smiled and took it, walking with her.

"Did your spy here ever tell you that I was able to get some surgery to increase my mobility?"

"Darian? No, not really. We noticed you were walking better when freeing the Normandy from the Collectors though. When did you get surgery? It must have been very painful."

"You have no idea just how painful.." Joker muttered. "And I got it just after Saya died."

"The other you, I grew up with him being often in hospitals having surgeries. Darian told us your Shepard had died," Hilary patted his hand gently. "But that's all we know. Why did she die?"

Joker bowed his head.

"She died saving my life."

"Oh." Hilary stopped walking, looking at him. "Oh! I.. don't know what to say but I'm really happy she saved your life...!" Hilary hugged her brother then. That he was here and alive with thanks to the female Shepard, to think he would have been gone here too if she hadn't saved him... "I should thank her for rescuing you!"

"If you do just be careful how you approach it - it's kind of a touchy subject, especially with her husband."

"I will, I will be," Hilary nodded, letting go of him. "I promise I will be. Darian wasn't sure, but he said Cerberus brought her back. Now you see, this is something our Cerberus would have never done to Jase. Elaine volunteered him for this experiment. She hated the thought of him and Dan being together."

"She did? Do you know why? I mean about her hating them being together."

"Well....," she began, "she didn't like losing control over her brother. Anyone who was interested in him was on her black list. If I had.. shown interest. I might not be here today," she sighed out. "Doesn't help my case now, does it?"

"Ahhh yeah no not really. Actually it makes me want to tell you to stay away from him."

"Erm... nope. I can give her a good dose of overload or shove a screwdriver up her butt. If she ever wants to mess with his personal life again, she has to get through me first. She has done enough damage. Now I know what Jase must have felt like. Going through and boom! World's changed. And he didn't even know what hit him! I know what happened when I went through it. But you were telling me about your surgery."

Joker shook his head, chuckling a little at how fast she could change subjects.

"Not much to tell. Cerberus needed Saya to stop the Collectors and knew she would need at least one person that she could trust - so they contacted me."

"And then they fixed your legs as best as they could," Hilary concluded, nodding at him with a smile. She was glad they had done this for him.

"Yep, that's pretty much the gist of it. Not much else to tell other than we kicked the Collectors collective asses." He grinned at his play on words.

Hilary giggled at this and sighed happily a little bit later. "It is so good being able to talk to you again. There are a few differences, yes, but it feels so good having you back in my life, my dear brother."

"It's great to have you back too Hilary. You have no idea how great it is."

Hilary nodded at him with a smile and leaned up, placing a soft kiss on his cheek and the hairs were tickling her nose a little. Men with beard were not her thing at all.

While walking through the ship and towards the shuttle to bring them back to New Omega, Hilary knew she would love to spend more time closer to her brother. And teaching, while it was a bit scary especially when it came to children, sounded interesting and even intriguing.

New Omega itself was once again packed with people and Hilary carefully navigated them through the masses, keeping her brother safe. "Where are you storing away all these people?"

"I honestly have no idea, I'm not involved with this part of it. I'm trying to sniff out an agent hiding on the Normandy."

"I might have heard something about this yet I only really know about Darian. If you agree with this I would like to talk with Dan about this agent." Hilary thought about this and then a part of the masses parted and she saw her brother's husband, who was still busy with the reporter, giving a real interview now with lights and all. Hilary nudged Jeff a little, pointing Jase out, watching him together. Eventually the lights went out and she saw him rubbing his eyes before shaking hands.

Jase turned around, feeling watched again. Finally he was free. No more questions from this pesky reporter. This type of people weren't really made for him. But the reason for feeling watched was right there, his husband. That brought out a smile on his face and he walked over, eyes on Jeff.

Hilary nudged her brother again. "Wow, that smile is just for you? You are lucky lucky. I will ask Dan about this agent, yes? Comms me?"

"Yeah okay... I'll comms you later then..." Joker felt her leave more than saw her as he couldn't take his eyes off the smile his husband was giving him.

Jase went over and gave him a hug, then a kiss. "I'm glad you're here."

"I have to be honest Jase. I wasn't sure you would be. I mean you did leave in the middle of the night..."

"You were awake?" Jase sighed softly. "I couldn't sleep anymore. Had a lot on my mind. Elaine, the upcoming day."

"You didn't even comms me Jase." Joker knew he was whining but he couldn't help it.

"I. I'm sorry," Jase replied, looking actually guilty. He had been sitting in the shuttle for a while, he could have commed him. But then Edi had interrupted. "Saya and Kaidan are having another baby."

"They're what??????" Joker stared at him in shock.

"Pregnant. She's pregnant." Jase repeated it for him. "And it's Kaidan's."

Joker let out such a loud whoop that it startled everyone nearby.

Jase just laughed out loud and shook his head. "I've got some free time."

"First things first... what was with the reporter?" Joker asked, his eyes mirroring the curiosity in his voice.

"Word gets around. It's breaking news everywhere of what's going on here. The Alliance thought it best to have it covered by someone they trust," Jase explained. "Just glad it wasn't Allers."

Joker shuddered at the thought of Diana Allers.

"I never could stand that woman."

Jase snorted and nodded. "Did you know Allers insisted on doing an interview up in our cabin? She knew you and I were an item, but still tried to get into my pants."

Joker stared at him in surprise then started laughing.

"Oh I wish I could have seen your face!"

Jase looked surprised at first then he smirked and chuckled. "Trust me, I wasn't amused."

Joker kept chuckling as they walked.

"Oh I can imagine. But... you **are** a hot guy."

Jase's eyes roamed over Jeff's butt as he said this and he grinned again. "So are you."

Joker blushed with embarrassment.

"You gonna do something about the hotness then?"

Jase licked his lips at this, eyes twinkling. "Yeah."

"Hmmmm and how do you plan on cooling down our combined hotness?" Joker asked, enjoying teasing his husband.

Jase leaned in, close to his ear and was tempted to lick the skin below it and squeeze his buttock. Instead he whispered, "By taking you down to my little room and making hot love to you."

"Ooooh I see..." Joker felt his own arousal. "But wouldn't that just *increase* our hotness?"

Jase chuckled softly. "That it would. We can take a cool shower later," he whispered, now really kissing his throat a little. Carefully. A kiss here and there, something no one would really mind.

Joker felt a whimper rise up in his throat, one of longing.

"Okay you better keep that promise and soon."

"Come with me," Jase replied hoarsely, taking his hand. Before he would begin to really embarrass them both by kissing him deeply and doing more.

Joker let Jase lead him off, wondering where they would find privacy with all these people around.

Jase led him down into a room he had scored, a small one, further off from the lab. Not the same Jeff hadn't been comfortable in before. Jase locked the door behind them and carefully leaned him onto the closed door, kissing him deeply. He was feeling happy that Jeff was well again, well enough to come and pay him a visit. "Missed you," he whispered between the kisses, tugging at Jeff's clothes.

Joker groaned quietly, returning what kisses he could.

"Missed you more..."

"Missed you more more," Jase grinned, they were back to playing their old 'more than you' game. "Show me."

Joker did as he was asked, quite willingly.

 

Saya kept resting a hand on her belly, a smile on her face whenever she did.

Kaidan gently nuzzled her shoulder, feeling quite good just laying there and resting. "I remember that smile and I love seeing it on you again."

"Hmmm..." Saya responded, enjoying his nuzzles. "I hope that doesn't mean you're going to keep me pregnant all the time so you can always see that smile..."

"Hehe," Kaidan chuckled softly, "no. I don't plan on doing it all the time." Kaidan moved his hand and laid it over hers, thinking this was the best that could have happened to them considering everything else. It wouldn't help healing her completely but it did help a bit to make her feel better and to focus on something else, something good and positive. "Maybe I'll do it again in a few years," he teased her gently.

"A few years huh..." Saya sighed softly but it was one of happiness. For the first time in a long time, she felt at peace.

Kaidan nodded, giving her a gentle kiss. At least this time he wanted to enjoy the time with her and her pregnancy. Unlike the last time where it was filled with constant worry.

Then Saya's comm beeped.

"Captain, Dr. Novak speaking. I have studied your medical file once more while updating it. I want to inform you that your pregnancy is already a few days ahead. Judging by the additional growth caused by your implants and anatomy I have to adjust the date of birth," Arlen smiled a little, "by about ten to twelve weeks earlier."

Saya stared at her comm unit for a minute.

"Are you saying I'm giving birth in 12 weeks???"

"No ma'am. According to the current growth of your baby the date of birth will be earlier. By about ten to twelve weeks." Arlen explained again.

Sighing in relief, Saya closed her eyes.

"It's funny... I don't feel that far along.."

Arlen nodded, but she couldn't see this. "Captain, at this moment your baby is about three days ahead. I wasn't aware of these special.. circumstances until I was studying your file more closely after updating it. Dr. Chakwas thoroughly documented your last pregnancy which helped to determine the date of birth." 

Arlen paused before saying the next. 

"I am sorry Captain, I should have checked you for a possible pregnancy when you came back." Arlen knew he hadn't been himself either and after having put her on the birth control he hadn't even considered this possibility.

Saya paused then and swallowed hard.

"If it's that far ahead... Arlen are you sure Kaidan's the father?"

Arlen frowned a little. "Of course it is, ma'am. I have scanned both of you and I could even tell you the baby's gender. The conception dates back to the time before you left with me for New Omega. I... aah.. did not check you for any signs of a pregnancy at the time either." Arlen confessed.

Saya breathed out another sigh of relief and felt Kaidan's arm around her tighten a bit to reassure her.

"Thank you Arlen. For everything."

"You are very welcome, Captain. If you have any questions or are in need of my help, please contact me." Arlen said, scratching his head a little.

Kaidan was watching Saya while gently caressing her hand, wondering what exactly was going on. He knew it was about their unborn and she would tell him.

Saya disconnected the comm and looked at Kaidan.

"He didn't realize that because of my implants my babies grow faster. He figures it'll be about 12 weeks early."

Kaidan nodded and gave her a kiss. "Mmh, twelve weeks early? Other women would envy you, or us."

"Yeeah that also means morning sickness should start shortly and if I recall you just *loved* that..."

And how he had loved it, not. "And mood swings, a growing belly, tight fitting clothes, back and feet aches. But there are also the moments when it kicks for the first time and you are getting all excited and grab my hand, letting me feel it." Kaidan smiled at her. "And this time I'll be here at your side all the time and not going to any dangerous missions."

"As it should be." Saya smiled. "I want to be home though... to give birth. I want to be with our other babies."

Kaidan nodded, returning the smile. "I want us to be home too. And I want to be there again. In full, unlike last time when we were rushing to our vacation spot." Kaidan chuckled softly. "I think your brother was scared shitless."

"Jase? Nahhh I've never seen him... scared really. Which is odd in itself."

"Mmh...," Kaidan wondered, stroking her hair and moved the strands a bit out of her face. "Maybe he has never shown it to us, or anyone else."

"Maybe. I think I'll ask him about it sometime." Saya settled in against Kaidan's chest.

Kaidan nodded and enjoyed having her close to him like this. Now he was grateful for having such a big house back home and how good his children would have it, growing up in such a paradise.

"So.. my dear husband... how many children was it you wanted again?"

"Mmh," Kaidan considered the numbers, "three, four, maybe five?"

Saya pulled back and stared at him.

"Easy for you to say... all you do is place the order..."

Kaidan looked back at her and placed his hand onto her belly again, grinning a bit inwardly at the order comment. "Well, there is number three. I'm happy either way."

She chuckled quietly and put her hand over his.

"We do make cute kids you know."

Kaidan kissed her as an answer and smiled. They needed to get back to their twins, he thought. Maybe now with nearly everything back in somewhat like an order they could do it.

"Kaidan? Do we want to know what this one is or be surprised?"

"Mmh. We have both boy and girl clothes available. What do you think? Let it surprise us?"

"I think I'd like the surprise, yes. As long as that's what you want."

"I am very fine with this as surprise," Kaidan rubbed her hand gently. No war was raging anymore, they could take it easy and enjoy it.

"I love you Kaidan. So very much."

Kaidan turned to look at her again and smiled before he placed a soft kiss onto her cheek. While he thought his wife was doing a bit better since their last love making, he felt he still needed to be careful. Showing his love for her came first, then the love making.

"I love you, too."

Saya smiled then kissed him on his lips.

"We can do this. I can do this."

"Yes. Yes, we can," Kaidan said as he returned the kiss. "Actually I am planning on staying at your side all the time. Well nearly all of the time, minus any bathroom breaks." Kaidan teased her gently.

Irimsaya giggled quietly at that.

Kaidan grinned to himself and rested his head close to hers, eyes closing on their own as the subtle stress he had been under was leaving him more and more.

Saya watched him. She was glad to see him starting to relax again. The nearly husk-blue eyes he had had earlier still haunted her. There was no doubt in her mind that she had nearly lost him.

 

Jase turned around in the bed, dozing lightly. The hand moved over onto Jeff's belly, lazily scratching the other man's belly gently while he was still bathing in the after glow of happiness Jeff had to managed to install in him once again. He didn't need to open his eyes as his hand was brushing along the fur, the sensation the hair was producing in his fingertips told him what he needed to know. Jeff had relaxed. And Jase knew just how scared he had been when Jeff had been down with the virus.

Joker opened his eyes slightly when he felt the hand on his stomach and chest. He raised his eyebrows a bit and was glad his back was against the other man's chest so he couldn't see that he was awake - it would make for a surprise and that's just what Joker intended.

"What ya doin there quick draw?" Joker teased drowsily. 

That caused a soft chuckle. "You're not sleeping Jeff?" The hand gently rubbed the chest some more, creating more caresses. "Trying to draw your name onto your chest? No," Jase sighed happily, "was feeling you with closed eyes."

"If you were feeling me with closed eyes your hand would be on my face not my chest." Joker teased him.

Another chuckle came from him. "All that great fur on your chest and stomach... You're saying your beard feels better?" Jase gently teased back.

"Well... yeah." He laughed a little then sighed in contentment.

Jase grinned and reached for his hand, taking it. "I like that sigh. Sounds happy."

"It is happy. Happy happy happy. I like it when we have time for just... *us*."

"Yeah," Jase agreed softly. "Used to be a lot more back at home, but now. Now I'm stuck in _this_. I don't mind getting them over, I mind having no time anymore for what I wanted to do. You, a baby, our shelter, marrying you again."

"Can't you just leave this in the hands of someone you trust? Like Jack maybe?"

Jase kissed his shoulder blade a little. "It's in the Alliance's hands. They want me."

Joker grumbled something under his breath.

"You've done enough for the Alliance. Tell them no."

Jase leaned up, peering over his shoulder to see his face better. "They're my people. I'd supervise this until the last one's come over. It was an experiment. _I_ was an experiment."

Joker was beginning to tense up again, thinking maybe it was just the other Kaidan that Jase was doing this for.

"Sure... I understand."

Jase knew he didn't understand and he frowned. "Stay here with me," he suggested, head swimming from the experiment thought.

"I think I'd just be in the way." Joker's voice was quiet.

"What?" Jase asked baffled.

"I don't exactly walk fast. I'd be in the way."

"And if you walk even slower, I don't care. If anyone gives you any trouble about it, they'll answer to me."

Joker sighed a bit then nodded a little.

"Alright."

But he wasn't happy about it.

Jase rubbed his eyes, torn between his duty, his people and Jeff. "I'll ask them to appoint someone else."

"You do what you feel you need to do Jase. I'll support you no matter what." And Joker knew he would... to a point.

Something felt weird though. "Jeff. What do **you** want me to do? You stopped piloting for me. I can stop with this for you."

"Oooooh no you're not gonna leave this up to me. If I say the wrong thing then I risk you getting upset."

Jase sat up, this was getting a bit more weird now. Something was bugging him. "I need a few facts for my decision, including your opinion. You want me to come home with you."

"I do want that yes." Joker's voice was quiet still. "But I also want you to be happy. And if that means being here... and near him..."

"Near him." Jase repeated softly. "So that's what this is about. You think I'll betray you eventually."

"Tell me you don't still love him." Joker finally found himself able to say.

There was a long stretch of silence before he answered softly. "I still love him. I love you too. I can't hurt you. I just.. I can't."

"But you still love him." Joker swallowed hard. "I need to know how much."

"It's complicated. I love him about the same as I love you, but." Just thinking about this brought back the dreaded headache. This was crazy. "I've spent the last years at your side. You've been there for me all the time. A few days ago I was afraid I'd lose you. That's when I told him we'd be friends only."

"That's all I needed to hear." Joker said hoarsely but it was a hoarseness based on lust.

Jase raised an eyebrow at him when he heard the voice, feeling even lucky Jeff hadn't tried ripping his head off for being so honest with him. But the voice and the eyes told Jase a lot more and that alone sent him into the same state as Jeff. "More?"

Joker shut him up with a passionate kiss.

Jase groaned softly into the kiss, wrapped his arms around Jeff and carefully drew him down onto himself.

 

The next day Saya walked through the ship slowly, a protective hand gently resting on her stomach. She knew Kaidan was in the command center taking care of things. Something was bothering her though. Mention had been made of an agent on her ship. Someone who couldn't be trusted. And she intended to find that person.

 

"My my Captain Alenko," Hilary said upon entering his room, eying all the equipment he had set up. "I must say you have found yourself a nice room. And everything is up to date. What is this?" She asked, totally curious about the one item lying around.

"You're curious about everything aren't you Hil?" Dan asked and picked it up before she could examine it. "Let's just call it insurance shall we? What can I do for you?"

"It's a nice looking insurance," she commented, wondering if he was annoyed by her presence. "I promised my brother to ask you about a problem they have here, caused by us if you ask me. There's an agent supposed to be on this ship and he's to kill their Captain. The agent is from our world and has joined them about a year ago. The time when the Reapers invaded and the SR-2 had to flee from Earth. Sadly that's all I know. Your sister was no help, all she knows it's supposed to be a guy and she just sends him messages not to do anything." 

Hilary left the rest unspoken, the agent would sooner or later figure things out and do what he was supposed to do, no matter if he received the go ahead or not. 

"Messages can be tracked, unless the correspondences are masked and sent to another person outside the Normandy, looking like a normal contact."

"And you'd like me to see what I can find out." Dan watched her. "I can certainly look into it. For *you*." He grinned. "Thanks for last night by the way, I'll remember it for a long time."

Hilary went over and gave his cheek a quick peck, whispering a thank you. She quietly wondered why he'd only do it for her and not for the Captain herself who hadn't done anything wrong.

Dan turned his head and kissed her tenderly on her lips, surprised she could make him feel this way.

"Do you know when the next transmission is supposed to be made?"

"Nope," Hilary answered, already distracted by the tender kiss on her lips. "Ah wait no. No. Today," Hilary sighed softly, even dreamingly, "some time today. Mmmh. Today."

Dan chuckled softly to himself as he realized how distracted she was. Waiting for her in her quarters last night had been the right choice after all.

"Okay, I'll try and set something up to see if I can trace where it goes to."

Hilary smiled a little and snuck one arm around his waist, trying hard to keep the other one away. "Okay, thank you Kaidan. Oh did you hear? The Captain is having another baby."

"Yep so I heard." Dan chuckled again. "Don't forget what my job was."

Hilary chuckled as well. "Oh yes." She leaned up on her toes to whisper into his ear. "The Shadow Broker." Then she placed another peck onto his cheek, giggling a little. "I should let you work, yes? Perhaps I could help you with something."

"Well now you might be able to help after all to be honest. How well do you know Edi?"

"Not as good as I would like to but better than you for sure. And my brother is her pilot after all." Now the other arm went around his hip and Hilary found Dan was so comfortable to lean into. Warm and soft, yet strong.

Dan gently put his arm around her shoulders and rested his cheek against the top of her head lovingly.

"I'll need Edi to alter some of what she senses and I have a feeling she doesn't really trust me."

Hilary sighed softly and smiled, but felt Edi should trust Dan. "Why would she not trust you? You're a good man Kaidan." Maybe she could ask her brother for help, only the man was down in New Omega instead on the ship. "I will see what I can do and talk to her. In person."

Dan nodded a bit and smiled at her.

"I'd appreciate it Hil. And maybe later I can show you just how much..."

Hilary chuckled softly, but was worrying she would push him too fast into something new. "Kaidan? I will be back later," she grinned and winked at him, leaving him alone albeit very reluctantly. Hilary hurried down to find her brother.

* * *

Joker frowned as he stared at the room full of supplies.

"Seriously Jase? You want *me* to go through all this? You punishing me for something?" He was only half-joking.

Jase raised his eyebrows at the last sentence and shook his head. "I am not. You wanted to help me, this is where I need help. Look, others might ... steal something. You won't. I trust you."

Joker groaned and scratched his head before sighing because he knew he'd do it.

"Alright - since you trust me so much to handle your.... supplies..." He tried not to laugh.

Jase grunted out a laugh. "You always handle them ... excellent." With a sigh he went over to him and gave him a kiss. "I wouldn't know who else to ask. Thank you, Jeff."

"Well for one you could have asked Edi." Joker laughed but kissed him back. "I'll do it."

Jase chuckled softly. "Edi's too busy staying close to Doc."

"Oooooh is she now? Well good for her." Joker was grinning.

"Yeah," Jase nodded. "Since Doc was sick, something must have changed." Jase couldn't help himself and just kissed him again. "For now, I'll let them get away with it," he chuckled. "Thanks for being here, with me."

Joker kissed him back and shrugged.

"If I'm not with you then I'm not complete."

Jase smiled at this, turned Jeff's hat around and caressed his face gently before giving his forehead a tender kiss. "Couldn't be without you either." Jase sighed then softly, "I'll let you work, comms me if you need me. Anything."

Joker smiled.

"You know I will."

Jase nodded and left, wearing a small smile on his face. 

 

"Hey brother dear," Hilary entered the room about half an hour later, "your husband pointed me into your direction. Woah, this is a lot of stuff. What are you doing here?"

"Hey Hilary." Joker glanced over at the door. "Supplies is what all of this is. I think Jase just wants me where he knows I am." He chuckled.

Hilary snorted an amused snort and rolled her eyes a little as she went over to take a look at all those things. "You... had a good time? You look happy, happier than yesterday."

"Yeah... and if I might add so do you. Who'd you sleep with last night?"

Hilary grinned mischievously and picked up an item, studying it. "Kaidan and I had a tet-a-tete. And...," she began, mimicking her brother, "if I might add, I'm hoping it will turn into something serious. Very serious. Because," she looked like day dreaming for a few seconds. "He let me hug him and even gave me a kiss. I am just unsure if he sees more in me or if I'm a good distraction right now. Maybe he is waking up though, from that bad dream of his." She shrugged, wondering how Jeff had managed it with Jase.

"Reminds me of when Jase realized he loved me."

"How long did it take him?" Hilary asked, picking up on what her brother was working on and began helping him with it. But she still needed to ask him about Edi, she knew, and tell him about their progress with the agent or what they were hoping for to find.

"It took awhile Hilary. You shouldn't expect too much right away."

"Yes, you're right. I am happy he has finally noticed me. Even it if took the most unconventional approach, especially with someone like Kaidan." Hilary grinned at this. "I have asked him for help about this agent. He gave me a few parameters for Edi. Kaidan feels Edi doesn't trust him, but he needs her help to track down the little culprit on your ship."

"Parameters huh? Mmh... And you trust him right?"

Hilary nodded at him. "Kaidan and I have been working together for years, he wouldn't harm anyone."

"So you would trust him with your life?" Joker watched her and waited for the answer.

Hilary stopped working and looked at her brother. "Yes. Yes I do trust him with my life, why should I not? After everything what we have been through, the dangers, the Reapers, Elaine. He kept me safe."

"If you're 100% sure he can be trusted then I'll help you with this. I'm sorry but I'm very cautious of who to trust when it comes to Edi."

Hilary nodded, surprised by this. "You're very protective of her, I'm surprised. I trust Dan with my life, I never questioned this, I tell you. What causes you to think he might not to be trusted?" Hilary asked, looking curious now.

"It's nothing don't worry about it. So you want me to talk to Edi for you?"

"Yes and no. If I can I'd want to ask her myself for it. Of course I won't say no to you helping me." She was still curious about him and the trust issue. "You are... wary of him because of Jase, aren't you?"

"I think I have every right to be." Joker replied as he looked through another box and documented what was inside.

Hilary nodded, looking at the boxes. "Your Alliance is very generous."

"Some would say too generous. I'm sorry but some of the worlds here could have used this stuff too."

"Well, then have it shipped somewhere else where it is needed," Hilary bit her lip in thought.

"That's not my call." Joker stated quietly.

Hilary nodded. "I think Dan is waiting for Edi to adjust everything."

Joker sighed and looked at her.

"I can't leave here. Hang on..." He activated his comms unit. "Edi? Can you come to the supply room please?"

"I am on my way Jeff." Edi's voice responded through the speaker.

"I'm sorry," Hilary said, feeling really sorry for this, but at the same time grateful. "And thank you."

Joker eyed her for a minute.

"We can say you owe me one."

"Oh do I," she giggled softly. "Well, apparently I do." She waited then for Edi to arrive.

It didn't take long before Edi walked through the door and looked at both of them.

"You asked to see me?"

Joker looked at Hilary.

"Go ahead Hilary, ask her. I'll back you up if needed."

"Thank you Jeff," Hilary nodded at him and looked at the AI. Aside of feeling curious about Edi she also noted how human like she looked.

"I, well," Hilary began and took a curl to play with it, feeling a bit nervous now. "Kaidan and I are trying to hunt down the agent which has been placed onto the Normandy. I mean Dan, of course, Captain Alenko. We are hoping for you to help us find the agent before he can harm your Captain."

Edi watched her and seemed to be wary.

"What kind of help is it you are searching for Miss Moreau?"

"Dan is trying to intercept the transmissions to and from the agent to track him down. We want to expose him. But to find the transmissions we need you to adjust a few parameters. Dan was so kind to give them to me, so you could.. well.. look at them."

Edi's eyes went to Joker and she relaxed a little when she saw him nod.

"Allow me to view these parameters please."

"Of course Miss Edi." Hilary wasn't sure if that name was okay or not and she willingly showed them to her. She felt curious and studied Edi's face.

"Please just call me Edi." Edi said as she looked over the provided information.

"Yes.. Edi," she nodded and waited patiently.

"I see no reason why I cannot implement these. Please go ahead and help update my systems on the Normandy."

Hilary beamed at her. "Thank you Edi. I will go and help. Oh Jeff? When I'm done I'll come back down and help you with this room." Somehow she thought he wouldn't get done today.

"I'd appreciate it Hilary, thanks." Joker watched her run from the room and chuckled at her excitement.

Hilary rushed back to the Normandy and into the room where Dan was, wanting to bring him the good news. But something else was going on and she listened to Jase's voice coming over one of the many channels.

"Kaidan, I've got news. Our Broker agreed to meet you. I suggested the Normandy as meeting ground."

"I'll be here Jase, and thanks." Dan answered before closing the channel and rubbing his forehead. He was beginning to get one of his migraines.

"Kaidan?" Hilary asked gently, coming closer to him.

"Hey Hil. Did you find your brother?" He sat back down in his chair, rubbing his forehead.

"Yes. And Edi agreed to your suggestions and told me to implement them," she said softly. "You are... not feeling well?"

"It's nothing, just one of my migraines. So she agreed? Good... we should get started right away then."

"Mh-mmh," Hilary nodded and looked thoughtful. "Edi told me where to go," she nodded again and slowly turned to leave.

"Please don't go." Dan winced, knowing he sounded like he was begging.

Hilary went to him, wondering what she could do to help him. "I.... I will not leave you Kaidan." She shook her head. "I will not leave you."

Dan gently took her hands in his and put them on a datapad.

"This is a vid. It.... it shows you how Jase was able to cure my headaches."

Hilary nodded and took it slowly. "I will study it closely and try to do the same for you, yes? As soon as the parameters are done I will study it," she nodded again and squeezed his hand gently. A kiss on his hair or head would just worsen the headache and she didn't want to cause him more pain.

Dan forced a smile to his face.

"Thanks Hil. Let me know when you're done?"

"Yes, of course. You will know it because I'll be back here with you." Hilary smiled at him and quietly left the room. She guessed once she was gone he'd... cry. She sniffed a little, feeling so sad for him that she didn't see the Captain she was running into. The datapad fell out of her hands and she quickly bent down to pick it up.

"Oh! Captain Shepard! I'm sorry!"

Saya smiled at Hilary.

"No apologies are necessary. Are you alright?"

"Yes, I am fine, thank you." Then Hilary leaned in and quietly informed her about their plan, figuring the Captain needed to know about this.

"And Edi's okay with this? Alright..." Saya hesitated a little bit. "Just be careful with her please, I like her the way she is."

Hilary nodded. "It is only for messages, this should not change her programming in the slightest. I will be careful Captain."

Saya kept watching her.

"Do you need help with it? I could spare some time."

"Oh would you like to Captain? I won't mind you helping me out." Hilary nodded. If anything, it would go faster and she could study the vid Dan had given her.

"Of course I would like to help you Hilary. You're my sister-in-law technically." Saya grinned at her.

Hilary smiled back at her. "Edi told me where I need to implement it," she said, leading the way while keeping an eye on her. "With luck we will soon know more and I can help Dan with this awful migraine of his."

"My Kaidan gets those as well. Jase taught me how to help... just be warned that if it's the same technique then... well... he's going to be feisty."

Hilary looked towards the datapad she had laid onto the close by table while kind of working on Edi. "Dan gave me a vid to watch, it shows the technique he said. I intend to study it once we have upgraded Edi."

"Good idea. At least he had a vid for it."

"Oh...! The vid is.. about Kaidan and Jase, actually." Hilary grinned awkwardly and went back to work on Edi. Just a few adjustments and it would be done.

"Yes I kind of figured that to be honest. Just be careful watching it please and don't show it to Joker."

"No, I won't show it to Jeff or anyone else of course. It feels," Hilary looked at her. She wouldn't show it to her brother he was already worried enough. "Even to me it feels wrong to watch it. As if I'm intruding their privacy. I will do it for Dan, though." Hilary paused and brushed off her hands as if they were dirty. "The parameters are set Captain. Whoever this man is, he will be caught soon."

"Good work Hilary. Very good work indeed."

"Thank you Captain. It was Dan's work though, I only helped."

"Sometimes helping someone you care about is more than just what you think it might be. You did good work here Hilary and impressed me."

Hilary actually blushed and smiled somewhat shyly. "I.. don't know what to say," she laughed softly. "Thank you again Captain."

Saya nodded once to her.

"Off you go then, let him know you're done."

"Yes Captain." Hilary nodded and left. While slowly walking back she let the vid play, having muted the sound. It looked easy, but she was sure it wasn't just that easy. Watching a vid was one thing, but if someone could actually teach her? With a sigh Hilary thought she should have maybe asked the Captain for help and additional instructions. Truth be told, seeing Jase and Dan like this, so at ease with each other and obviously in love, she understood even better. Jase, Dan, Jeff and herself. 

"Well Jeffy, looks like you are right with what you said," she softly told herself just before the door to Dan's quarter opened.

Dan stood before her, his face pale and his lips white.

"Hey, saw you coming. Is it set?"

"Yes," she answered softly, "all is set. You.. handsome man, you're looking awful." Hilary said, looking worried. "I have been watching the vid twice and can try to help if you think I won't cause you any more pain."

"If you think you'd like to try I sure as hell won't stop you..."

Hilary sighed softly and nodded, giving him a gentle smile. "I would like to, yes. Would you help me with it, please? It looked so easy what he was doing and yet I'm sure it needs practice."

"If I didn't trust you to be able to do it, I wouldn't have given you that vid."

"You're a very sweet man, Kaidan Alenko," Hilary nodded and motioned towards the bed. "I will help you."

Dan smiled weakly then laid down on the bed on his stomach so she could have access to his back.

Hilary frowned and hesitated for a second. On the vid Dan had been lying on his back. She shrugged a little, remembering what the Captain had told her. Feisty, she had said. Hilary sat the datapad down close to them and let the vid run, having it muted again. Step by step she was following what Jase was doing, starting with adjusting his feet, dragging them a bit and moved on to his hips, trying to align them.

Dan moaned as she manipulated his body in much the same way Jase had and he felt himself becoming aroused.

"Does it hurt more?" Hilary asked softly, fearing she might have hurt him. And yet she enjoyed feeling his body under her hands. So strong yet.. soft.

"Noooooo..." Dan moaned. "Feels good... damned good..."

She shrugged a little and tried to mimic what was shown on the vid, working on his shoulders. Hilary still thought he should have laid on his back instead. Then the vid stopped and Hilary looked down at Dan, wondering what she should do now.

Dan groaned and rolled over, pulling her down on top of his chest and kissing her soundly on her lips.

Hilary smiled after the kiss, feeling surprised and she reached out, carefully caressing his cheek and placed a kiss on it. "What do you want, Kaidan?" Hilary whispered into his ear.

"I have to tell you?" He grinned and rolled them over so he was on top of her. "I want you."

Hilary grinned up at him while fingering on his clothes. "Oh I'm all yours. All yours." She moved down under him and pushed his shirt up to kiss his belly there.

Dan shivered at the touch and growled in delight.

Hilary suddenly giggled under him and moved up again. "Oh wow! I didn't know I could do this to you!" 

"Oh you can." He growled out then nipped at her neck gently.

Hilary grinned and sighed softly. "You don't have to be so tender with me, I won't break, you know." She sighed again, feeling happy and began to get rid of his shirt.

"I would never be anything *but* gentle with you." Dan's voice was harsh with lust.

In Hilary's book, this man was more than just awesome. She drew him down and shut him up by kissing.

 

Edi's voice flared through the comm system by Kaidan's arm in the command center.

"I am detecting a transmission Commander Alenko!" She had no way of knowing that this Kaidan didn't know about the new parameters in her programming.

Kaidan frowned, totally caught off guard but whatever it was.... "Origin and destination is where, Edi?"

"Origin is New Omega. I believe this is one of the transmissions Mrs. Gemla sends to her agent on board. Destination... appears to be somewhere around engineering.." Edi's voice seemed to grow angry. "Near the Captain."

Kaidan hurried off and down towards engineering. "Edi is it possible to find out who exactly is receiving this transmission?"

"I am attempting to do so now but the transmission itself may have been too brief. I may need to detect another first."

Kaidan nodded as he stepped out of the elevator. "Edi, please forward me any data you have gathered." Through two doors and he was there at Saya's side, giving her a smile.

Irimsaya looked at him, startled to see him there.

"Kaidan? Is everything okay?"

"Yes," he nodded. "Can't I go and see my own pregnant wife in my free time?"

"You can... except you sound like you're breathing hard." Saya smiled and put a hand on his cheek gently. "You forget love, I'm a soldier, I listen to people breathing."

Kaidan groaned inwardly and ground his teeth wanting to rip her hand off his face and drag her away from this place. She had ruined it by now anyway and figured why shouldn't he just drag her off. And he did just that. Grabbed her wrist and lead her outside, into safety.

Saya gasped at the roughness with which Kaidan dragged her and his grip on her wrist. It made her eyes water slightly.

"Kaidan stop it."

Kaidan took her to Allers' old room, let go of her and waited until the door was closed. "Edi caught a transmission to the agent. The destination was close to you. _Was_."

Saya was rubbing the wrist he had held, so tight that it was actually red.

"I see." Her voice was shaking a bit.

Kaidan snapped his mouth shut before he'd let loose any of the things he was thinking about her being in danger and.. in danger again and she messing it up this time and probably tipping off the agent. If the man was smart he'd count two and two together now. Whoever it was. There had only been Adams and the two former Cerberus engineers close by though.

Saya shivered a bit as she watched her husband. She had never seen him this mad with her before and it scared her a bit. Slowly, Saya went and sat on the small cot that was still in the room, watching him warily.

Kaidan leaned onto the close by wall and crossed his arms, thinking. Maybe the agent was having his time off. Maybe he wasn't on the engineer team. He should check it.

Irimsaya kept silent, not sure what to do or say now. She knew he had been trying to protect her... but he had hurt her. He'd never hurt her before.

Kaidan sighed softly and was glad to feel himself to relax a little. And then he kept wondering why she seemed to run into danger so willingly and acting even stupid when there was something going on. Which set off the anger just again and he groaned, rubbing his eyes and scratched his brows. He hadn't been felt so angry since a while. Especially not at her. The last anger was directed at Udina and the slavers. But not at his own wife.

Saya stood up again, went past him and out the door. She was starting to feel angry because of the way he had just treated her. As if she were nothing more than a child. Somehow she managed to stop herself before she put a hole in the wall she was walking next to.

Kaidan went and sat down where Saya had been sitting, head in his hands. What was he now, if he couldn't even protect his own wife. 

"Edi, please keep an eye on my wife. The agent might have been tipped off," he asked her softly.

"I am always monitoring her, Commander. Are you alright? Your heart rate seems to be increased." Edi's voice came back to him.

Kaidan sat silently for a while, thinking. "I don't know Edi. I don't even know if you can understand it." Kaidan sighed. "I'm sorry I don't mean to insult you. But my wife has been violated and was now in danger and. I don't know." Kaidan closed his eyes, keeping the tears behind the lids.

"Do not concern yourself, I am not insulted. I am, however, confused. You say you wish to protect her and yet you harm her. That is something I do not understand."

"I would not harm my wife!" Kaidan protested. "I felt she was in danger and yet she kept acting as if waiting for something to happen. As if she wanted it. I took her by her wrist."

"Her wrist is bruising, Commander. Perhaps you did not mean it but I believe she is also wounded emotionally."

Kaidan looked up and was surprised in a very bad way. He wasn't a brutal man and far from it. He got up and walked out of the room. "No Edi, I would never harm her willingly...! My god! Where is she?" He had to find her and correct it.

"Captain Shepard is in her quarters and has asked not to be disturbed."

Kaidan hurried back upstairs to their quarter.

Saya was sitting on their bed, her face in her hands as she tried to wrap her mind around what just happened.

Kaidan slowly walked down to her and carefully sat down close by. He sighed softly. "Saya... I'm sorry."

She didn't look at him, for some reason she couldn't. It was like she has just seen another person in his body. And it was something she didn't know how to handle.

"At first, let me say I never meant to hurt you," Kaidan began, wondering how to say it right and if he even could justify it. Which he probably couldn't. "I was afraid for you. The agent was close and I rush down to you to keep you safe."

Saya finally looked up at him.

"I understand. I've just... You've never been angry at me before. Not like that." Her voice was a whisper.

"No," Kaidan replied and shook his head, he knew that much. "I was afraid for you and.." He sighed, feeling insecure if he should tell her. "I don't want to hurt you more."

She watched him silently for a minute then let him see her bruised wrist.

"I never ever EVER thought you would *ever* do something like this Kaidan! "

"I dragged you out of there and away from any possible danger. I never intended to do **this** ," he said, pointing at her wrist. And yet, he just had grabbed her wrist to drag her out. "I don't know what's going on here with me Saya. I'm scared you're running willingly into any danger again just waiting to get hurt. And. I don't know! I saw you standing there and. I HAD to get you out of there."

"Kaidan I would NEVER endanger our child! Not willingly. This is my ship and I can't stay in our quarters the whole time! As for this...." She looked at her wrist. "The strength you had when you did this... reminded me of a husk."

"I'm no husk," he whispered, looking at Saya. "She didn't turn me into a husk, did she. I mean, I'm still me, aren't I. I just.. was so scared, knowing the agent was close to you. Edi warned me about the signal."

Saya slowly took his hand and looked into his eyes.

"Kaidan. I know what it feels like to be nearly transformed into a husk remember? And.... and...." She closed her eyes. "You were much further along than I was."

Kaidan closed his eyes and nodded, remembering the time. But hearing he'd been much further along than her. It was scaring him. "Am I dangerous, to you?"

"I don't think you are." Saya answered softly. "But.. we have to see what other changes might have happened to you because of that experience. You are definitely stronger."

Kaidan nodded and knew it wasn't just this. Everything that happened to her was part of this too. At least the baby was his and something positive. "I'm sorry. I am really sorry. I was, am, always your anchor and now I have ... changed? I can't stand seeing you getting hurt or knowing you in danger and then this happens." Kaidan pointed at her bruise and shook his head. "What if I accidently hurt our babies?"

"You won't. You never could Kaidan. And if you want... I have a bit of experience in the 'too strong' area if you want me to help you control it."

"Mmh." Kaidan knew what she meant. And if... There was a gentle smile on his face. "Yes, I certainly need to control it better."

"Then when do you want to start learning?" She smiled gently at him. "It's not often I can teach you things."

Kaidan chuckled a little, remembering the time they had spent in the pools at the Citadel. "As soon as you can. I don't like hurting you."

Saya nodded a bit.

"Alright. Then we start in the morning. I'm too tired right now."

"Thanks, do you want me to stay on the couch?"

"Why would I want that?"

"I hurt and scared you. And you've been gotten hurt and scared enough in the past weeks."

Saya shook her head at that.

"I need you with me in this bed so I know I'm not dreaming it.... please..."

Kaidan leaned in to her, giving her cheek a tiny peck. "I'm real, I'm very real. Maybe I've been a little bit too real today. Well, you know what I mean."

Saya leaned harder against him.

"Maybe a bit. But I still love you."

Kaidan carefully wrapped his arms around her. "I don't know what else to say aside of thank you, again. I love you, too. And I think, you should get some sleep, you're very tired."

"Mmmm beyond tired to be honest. Looking for a traitor is hard work after all."

"Yes," Kaidan sighed, "I'm surprised we haven't found him yet. Is he even real?"

"You coming down to save me proves he's real sweetie."

"Yes. It has never taken us so long to find someone. I'm actually starting to question myself." Kaidan stood up and held out his hand for her. "I can go through the files again, see who's joined us at the time."

"There's no point Kaidan. I've been through them, Edi's scanning them constantly, and now the other you is monitoring them too."

"I just feel like I need to do something. Sitting idly by and waiting for something to happen," Kaidan shook his head, leaving the rest unspoken.

"Kaidan - nothing will happen. And until we find out what changes have been made to your body because of Elaine... I don't really feel comfortable with you out of my sight sweetie."

He rubbed his face at this, it was getting scary. So far he felt fine, but nodded at her.

"Hey, it's okay. Plus look at it this way - you're getting what you want. You'll be at my side the whole time."

Kaidan chuckled softly at this. "Yes. Yes you're right."

Saya smiled and lied back on the bed with a sigh.

"Now if you don't mind, the mother of your unborn child is tired.."

Kaidan shook his head and grinned a little, joining her. "I can't wait to feel it kicking."

"Hmm you do seem to enjoy that part don't you. Or is it just that you can hold my belly." She grinned at him.

"Mh, how about both?" Kaidan grinned at her. "I'll stay here at your side, watching over you while you sleep."

"Don't forget to get some slep yourself." Saya mumbled as she snuggled closer to him and drifted off.

Kaidan gently played with her hair, stroking it while she was falling asleep. It took him a very long time until he finally started to drift off.

 

Jase yawned and fingered around on his left eye to get some weird itching dirt out of them. He was on his way to Jeff, having something in mind for both of them.

Joker sat down with a heavy sigh as he finished the last box of supplies. It was a chore he vowed never to do again.

"I'm surprised! You got everything finished." Jase said as he entered the room, walking over to him. "You deserve a kiss for this."

"You're surprised...?" Joker stared at him. "Did you think I wouldn't get it done??"

"It wasn't an easy task." Now he was wondering if Jeff felt offended. "So, what's your take on all of this." Jase motioned at all the stuff.

"Lots of stuff, good supplies. The Alliance went all out." Joker said quietly.

"Yeah," Jase agreed, gently rubbing his shoulder. "Feels like they want to appease me."

"Yeah too bad they wouldn't do something like this for anyone else huh?"

Jase nodded. This was exactly the point. "If Saya had asked she wouldn't have gotten half of this. I don't get it. So. Any idea what we could do with all of this."

"Well... If we don't use all of it why can't we send some to Hawaii and the shelter we have?"

Jase nodded. While it felt right to give it away and to those in need, taking it to his own shelter felt wrong. 

"Well. We won't need everything. Feels like stealing though if we take some of it to our shelter. The Alliance's sending us supplies every month already.

Joker's face hardened a bit.

"You know what? Do whatever the hell you want with it then."

"I can't take it for personal reason," Jase pointed out, wondering what the hell had happened suddenly.

"How is it personal when I have no doubt that some of these people will end up there???"

"What people?" Jase asked, frowning. "Haven't sent anyone there yet. These people here are being cared for already."

"Let me know when you figure it out." Joker stated and walked out.

Jase scratched his head, wondering what the hell was going on. "What people? What fucking people?" But the room didn't answer back.

Elaine was behind him.

"I've heard that some refugees from our reality wish to see Earth, Commander."

Jase turned around, looking at her and nodded slowly. "Can't blame them."

"I'm just concerned they might run into their 'doubles' in this reality."

"Alright, this _could_ become a problem." Jase nodded. "The Alliance is working with the authorities, identifying them." He couldn't blame them though, especially if there were relatives who were alive and someone to give a helping hand.

"Then I hope they hurry up because I caught a couple of them trying to sneak onto a transport."

"Good you did." Jase nodded at her. The different embassies upstairs were probably already overworked. That needed to change. "When are those in cryo stasis coming over."

"Tomorrow if all goes according to plan. But the problem now is that somehow the Reapers have been alerted to what's going on and they're closing in on our position on the other side."

"Dammit," Jase said, rubbing his face. "This hasn't even been running for more than a week. How long until they reach the base on the other side."

"They don't seem to be in a hurry - it's as if they're relishing the idea of finding us. I'd say about 5 days."

Jase nodded. "Relishing, huh." Five days compared to nearly a year it took to get all those people over. "How long will those in cryo stasis survive?"

"I wish I knew Jase. If the units get damaged at all..."

"And if they don't. How long. A year, ten years, a hundred, a few thousand years?"

"Possibly a thousand. But that's not a guarantee."

Jase nodded, thinking. Those people knew what they had agreed to. If they could survive that long. "The pods, do they open on their own. What kind of countermeasures have you installed, aside of trying to send Reaper forces over here."

"There are no countermeasures." Elaine said softly. "The people in them know if needed... they will be made into bait."

"Is it possible to send something over there?" Jase wondered, knowing if needed they had to shut down everything and close the door.

Elaine shook her head no.

"It's an one way trip."

"Messages only, alright. The plans of your, our Crucible were correct. Unlike the plans in this reality. You need to have someone to bring those plans into a safe place if you haven't already."

"They're in a safe place, don't you worry about that."

"Alright. Alright," Jase sighed and closed his eyes. "Cancel the pods, let everyone alive and walking come over instead."

Elaine stared at him.

"If we do that then we could lose everyone who's left!"

"Define everyone. The people who came over are refugees. Or is there something you haven't told me yet."

Edi had been talking about a million and Jase wondered what Elaine was getting at now.

"There's nothing I haven't told you. I swear it."

"Alright. How about the million people waiting to come over here," Jase confronted her carefully.

"If the Reapers find them... then they won't be coming over."

"No, they won't. Those in the stasis pods knew what they agreed to. A year compared to five days," Jase shook his head. It was not enough.

Elaine watched him silently.

"I hope you're right." She said eventually.

"Got any other ideas? I'm listening." And Jase knew they wouldn't be here, talking about this if a certain someone hadn't decided years ago to use him as a lab rat. But then of course this world would lie in ruins and ashes.

"I don't... but Kaidan might. The one who's the Shadow Broker."

This was a surprise. Jase crossed his arms, watching her. "He's dead. You killed him." But now he figured she had figured it out or someone had told her.

"I'm not stupid Jase. That look of loss and grief is gone from your eyes."

He had to give her that and he nodded. "I'll ask." But it didn't sit right with him, nothing did. Not having to decide who is going to live or to die. "If it was up to you, who would you get over. Pods or as many as possible of the others."

"The pods. At least the others can pick up a weapon if they need to."

Jase nodded, thinking about this and found Elaine was right. And yet those pods could survive if not disturbed. If, and that was part of the problem. Shepard sighed deeply and walked a few steps past the boxes of supplies. "Good point," he nodded. "As long as it's ground forces they stand a chance. God damn it. I hate having to decide who's going to live and who's not."

"If it helps, you're not doing it alone."

Jase sighed. "I appreciate the thought, Elaine. Once the portals closed, how secure is it? Last thing we need is a surprise visit by the Reapers."

"Honestly? I don't know Jase. I wish I had an answer."

"Yeah. Alright, thanks." He sighed again, pondering what to choose. He wasn't shy to admit Elaine might be right. Pods or those able to fight. "Send the pods over. I'll go, ask Kaidan." Too bad the stargazing with Jeff had been ruined by his own husband.

"I'll get right on it." Elaine responded and rushed off.

Jase sighed and sat down were Jeff had been sitting. He had done such a good job. Sorted and stacked the boxes neatly and he picked up the data pad, going through the list for a minute. Jase didn't want to talk to Dan. And yet he needed to. He gave up and hit his comm.

"Commander Shepard to Captain Alenko."

Dan moaned as he woke up. He tried not to laugh when he had to untangle himself from Hilary. He hit his comm and spoke as quietly as he could.

"Alenko here."

"Hey Kaidan. Sorry to disturb you. We've got a problem. The Reapers are closing in on your facility back home. Five days is all we have left. Could use some ideas."

Kaidan swore loud enough to wake Hilary.

"Give me about an hour and then I can be in that little office I've set up here."

"Alright. Thanks. I'll be there." Jase replied and rubbed his eyes. An hour, 100 more people coming through. Jase stood up, the hour was good enough to pick up the cushions and blankets he'd placed in preparation for their evening.

Hilary turned around and scratched Dan's belly gently. "What's up? It sounded urgent," she yawned.

Dan groaned at the touch, feeling himself reacting to her touch.

"Yeah. Jase thinks the Reapers may have located our facility on the other side."

"Oh," she nodded, thinking. "You know when he thinks they have he is probably right with it. I can go with you or stay away."

"Honestly? I could use your brain..."

Hilary nodded, but she was sure it was more for morale support than the tech. She knew there was barely anything they would be able to do and she sighed. "I feel like a privileged bitch, being here now and in safety."

"Don't feel that way. We both know you were needed here in more ways than one." He kissed the top of her head gently.

With a sigh she nodded. Every single one of them was privileged to be alive. Hilary moved up and snatched a real but quick kiss. "Is your head feeling better?" she asked while reaching out to run her hand through his hair gently.

"Very much so." Dan replied softly. "Thanks to you."

Hilary smiled, gave him a thank you kiss for this and stretched with a yawn. "Oh oh oh, I need a shower."

"So do I." Dan chuckled a bit. "Too bad we have a crisis looming..."

"Oooor....?" Hilary grinned, watching him.

"Let's just say I excel at sex.... in other places not just the bed..."

Hilary giggled and tickled his stomach a little. "Naughty Captain Alenko!" She moved and sat down on him. "You know? I will file this information away for a later use and ... make good use of it." She grinned and gave him another quick kiss.

"Hmmm I certainly hope you do." He grinned up at her.

With a soft sigh Hilary untangled herself and picked up her clothes, all the time smiling at Dan. "I will be ba-ack," she nearly sang and went to get her shower.

Dan watched her go with an amused expression before he got up and gathered his own clothing.

 

An hour later, after picking up the blankets and cushions and getting some fresh clothes Jase was in front of Dan's door and knocked.

Dan was sitting at his desk, Hilary right next to him reading a monitor.

"Come in Jase."

Jase went inside, a bit surprised to see Hilary there. "Hilary, Dan," he greeted both of them, wondering if Hilary had seen Jeff. "First off, Elaine figured out you're alive," he warned him. "According to her we only have about five days before they reach the facility."

Dan paled a bit a he thought of her knowing about him.

"5 days. Noted. And how does she know about me?"

"She figured it out herself by watching me. The signs of grief and loss are gone from my eyes. Any option to squeeze out a few more transfers by shortening the delay? Or increase the numbers?"

"We would need a significant increase of energy," Hilary replied. "The amount of 50 people every 30 minutes is already the limit."

Jase nodded. "Well. Five days," he sighed, clearly not happy about this development. Five days and then everyone who hadn't had the chance to come over was stuck with the Reapers, facing their certain death. 

"It's not enough time to bring them all over."

"We need something that can generate more power to the portal. Jase do you know of anything?"

Jase looked at Dan, wondering something. The only thing that came to mind was the Normandy. "The Normandy's fusion-plant. Might pose a problem to get the energy down where it's needed. We can't just drag another beacon here. Nor do we have enough time."

"Be more handy if we had a Reaper power core." Dan said thoughtfully.

"All dead. Crucible killed them." Jase replied, remembering the derelict Reaper they took down when they found Legion.

"Damn it... I wonder if Elaine might have anything from our side."

Jase frowned and was thinking though. The Reaper had been dead but its core had been still functional.

"Cerberus once got hold of a derelict Reaper. It had a functioning core. We found Legion close to it. Look, I haven't kept up to date with the cleaning up. What I know is they exploded. Anyone who's gotten hold of a functioning core won't give out of their hands, if there is one. You don't have a SR-2 nor any upgrades like a Thannix canon to take down a Reaper either. On Rannoch it needed a laser guide system and the complete quarian fleet to take one down."

Jase looked away towards where Glyph used to be. "It doesn't matter how many more we'll get over. The others are going to die and we can't do a fucking thing about it."

Hilary looked at Dan for a moment, having no other suggestion too. They were lacking too many resources, defenses and firepower on their side to get hold of a core. Even if they had, they could use it to protect the facility.

Dan felt himself sagging in defeat. He didn't know what else to suggest - since his best idea was shot down like it was nothing.

Jase rather felt something than saw it at first. "What is it?"

Hilary ducked her head after stealing a glance up at Dan.

"Did you ever stop to think that *maybe* Elaine might know of something? Rather than just standing there and saying 'no that won't work'?" Dan's voice was hard.

Jase just looked at him while several thoughts were running through his head. Aside of having no reaper core themselves he was wondering just how many more they could transfer over, minus the batch it took to bring a possible core over.

"Yes sir," was all Jase said and then he left, heading back down to Elaine. In person. Talking to her in person was better.

Hilary looked at Dan, she didn't know what to say and if they indeed got hold of such a thing she'd have her hands full with it. Aside of the question if they could hook it up to their system in time and what she would need for it.

Dan rubbed his temples, feeling another headache coming.

"Any idea what you'd need if we find something, Hil?"

"Equipment of course and people giving me a hand. And of course have it done before yesterday." Hilary sighed, "I told her to install the disguise system, she didn't listen and knew it better. Can I say as usual?"

Dan just nodded silently.

"I know you asked her to." He said, revealing just how good a Broker he really was.

Hilary smiled a little bit. "You know she has a core, don't you? You would not have pushed him so hard to go and talk to her if she would not. Am I right or am I right?" Hilary teased him gently.

"I know she has *something* I just don't know what it might be."

"Oh!" Hilary nodded slowly. "Then I am hoping for her to share it with Jase and us. She is hiding away too many things including her secrets."

"She's the head of Cerberus. Are you really so surprised?"

Hilary sighed and looked at him with a goofy kind of grin which was just for him. "No but she could have come forward and told him. Instead she sends him to you. You are getting all upset and don't try to hide your headache from me. And Jase leaves, going back to her. Nice way of her to make us waste the time we have left."

Dan rubbed his brow and watched her for a minute.

"What else did you notice?"

Hilary sighed softly and reached out to to rub his leg a little as he was standing next to her now. 

"Every time you see or talk to him you are getting a headache. And he is surprised about your reaction towards him. Elaine always enjoyed to drive something between the two of you. I dare say she still does, however it is not as bad as it used to be," Hilary pointed out, for a few seconds thinking about how much energy it would need to shorten the 30 minutes down to 20, or even 15.

"Your former boyfriend is baffled about how much you have changed and is constantly dancing between your and his husband's needs. Keeping Jeffy happy and staying out of your hair."

"Honestly he needs to focus on your brother. I... I don't know if I can be around him much yet without wanting to kiss him senseless, Hil." He sighed quietly. "If I didn't have you now..."

Hilary kept rubbing his leg gently, feeling for him and his desire for Jase. 

"For whatever reason your sister enjoys torturing you and him, I don't believe he'd have showed up here. Did you not notice it was a business visit. Aaand... If you hadn't me....?" Hilary asked and stood up, grinning at him a little.

Dan watched her then smiled a very little bit.

"Thanks for being here."

Hilary laid her arms sound him. "Hey anytime, friends and all and more, you know? And thanks for letting me close." She laughed softly and tipped his nose with her finger. "What now, Captain Alenko?" She gently teased him.

Dan looked at her oddly, wondering how she could be so playful when so much was now at stake.

"Now we try to save as many lives as we can, Hilary."

"Good!" Hilary smiled and nodded, pleased to see Dan was apparently feeling a bit better. "I have already been thinking how much more energy I need to shorten down the wait. However, I do not believe I can get it below anything like 15 minutes."

Dan rubbed his head, looking thoughtful.

"I wonder if the Geth in this reality are still friendly..."

"Have you sent his friend over?" Hilary wondered and knew she had to go back down to work on their problem. As long as she was occupied she didn't need to think about all those who would end up stuck, no matter how hard they would try.

Dan looked at her.

"His friend's been here for awhile now."

Hilary bit her lip in thought. "Nobody has mentioned him. Either he has gone into hiding or they haven't seen each other yet." She moved and gave him a hug. "But you know what Kaidan? I have to go back down to the generators anyway and see what I can do from there. And maybe I can find his friend. You'd think that anyone having seen a geth walking around would say something, somewhere, to someone." Hilary gave him a kiss and a smile. "What would _I_ do without you? Feeling lost, I would say." She winked at him a little.

"Hmmm you'd be lost I think." He grinned then watched her leave before going back to work.

Hilary just laughed softly and left.

 

Jase approached Elaine's office, hesitating for a moment. The one person who was responsible for everything. For all of this. And it was someone he didn't really like seeing, but had to. 

On the way down he had wondered about how much his being here had actually influenced everything. Including Saya and Kaidan. And what would Saya have done when the Crucible hadn't fired. But being reduced to a lab rat and test subject for some selfish reasons of one person...

For a moment Jase considered walking away, running off, to some unknown place and to start from scratch again. Something which hadn't crossed his mind before. Not when having to go through his N7 training, not when things had been bad on a job, not when he had been fighting off the Reapers and not when Saya had been giving birth. And that had spooked him a lot more than fixing the Crucible.

Jase sighed, he felt like a stupid errand boy. Elaine said jump and he did, going to Kaidan. Kaidan said jump and he did, running back to Elaine.

"It's not even my fucking fault, people," Jase muttered to himself and straightened up. Time to face Elaine. Again. His most favourite person of two galaxies. And the only one who could help. Maybe.

The door opened and he strode into her office. "Elaine."

Elaine held up her hand to him to shush him, she was on a communicator.

"I don't care what you think about sharing this with them, get it here!" She closed down the channel and turned to Jase. "Sorry about that Commander. What did you find out?"

"To find out if you got a reaper core. More energy, more people."

"Ah..." Elaine watched him with calculating eyes. "I might have something that could help."

Jase nodded as he was interested to see what it is. "As long as it helps saving a few more lives."

"I'm hoping it might save them all if I can get it implemented fast enough."

"What have you got?" Jase asked. A million people in five days sounded unreal. And getting them whisked off in such a short time would be next to impossible, but saving them? Yes.

"What you asked for. I have a friend of yours guarding it for me."

Jase wondered inwardly. Elaine claimed they could save all, yet he had the memory of hearing 50 per run would have to be enough. Jase crunched some numbers in his mind. This was next to impossible. Unless.

"You're thinking of leaving the portal open until the Reapers show up. No shut down. Nothing." 

Elaine nodded slowly.

"It's the only way to save all of them."

"That's more than 8000 people per hour."

"If that's what it takes to save all of them, then that's what it takes."

Jase nodded. If they were lucky and all the people who made it to the portal alive, they'd face a great influx of them. "How to shut down the portal once the Reapers arrive? Can you overload it on the other side from here and destroy the facility?"

"I'm having a friend ensure he's the last one out. He's going to initiate a self-destruct sequence before he jumps through."

"Sounds good," Jase nodded and nodded once again. "I'll find that friend of mine guarding it."

"Check the lower levels... the areas that really aren't busy.." Elaine was smiling to herself.

"Alright." Jase turned and left, but stopped at the door and looked at her. "Thanks." Then he was gone.

 

The lower levels, they stood for silence and a place to take a breather and relax. Jase looked around as he wandered through them, silently hoping Jeff would show up somewhere but he wasn't there. After searching level for level and having reached the very last one, he nearly feared Elaine had lied. This level was even more quiet and he felt like walking into a very old basement. 

If there wasn't that sound. 

This very familiar sound. 

Jase knew what it was and he walked right up to it and raised his eyebrows. A dancing Geth.

The Geth turned and seemed to stare at Jase.

"Shepard-Commander." It stated with certainty. "I am Legion."

Jase blinked. And was speechless. Then he reached out and offered his hand in greeting. The speech wasn't that different, if at all, from Liam's but. This was Legion, he knew it.

"Legion. I... I missed you, old friend."

"We have not met before this, Shepard-Commander. But I am glad that you were friends with the Legion from this reality. It bodes well for our own relationship."

Jase smiled then and chuckled softly. "The Creators are at peace with the Geth. The Geth are helping the Creators rebuilding Rannoch, your homeworld." Jase told him, knowing Tali would .. freak. "Legion, the answer to your question, do you remember it? It is yes." 

He knew this wasn't why he had come down, and that the time was running. But finding Legion here caused him to choke up in a good way. Jase coughed, glancing at the thing Legion was guarding.

"Yes, this unit has a soul," he repeated softly, thinking of Saya too.

"I thank you for your update on the situation with the Creators, Shepard-Commander. It gladdens me to hear of this peace."

"I'll tell you about it once we have finished this assignment here. Welcome to the other side, Legion. What about your Geth?" Jase asked and walked to the device. It was huge.

"I am the only unit left. All others were either enslaved by the Reapers or destroyed capturing this device."

Jase turned around to look at him. "My god! Legion, I'm sorry. What happened to their database clusters?"

"The clusters, when I last had contact, remained intact but all physical manifestations have been destroyed or enslaved."

Jase nodded again. "The Reapers infested the clusters here, too. Your people have suffered many losses for this device. Their sacrifices won't be forgotten Legion."

"Thank you, Shepard-Commander. Am I to assume it is time to attempt to use this power source?"

"Yes. It's time." Jase nodded, taking a closer look. This would take a few hours if they were lucky. "Let's begin. Time's of the essence."

"Acknowledged, Shepard-Commander." Legion turned to the device. "I will need assistance with the installation."

"Let me call a few more people down." Jase said and got onto his comm. Once done he looked at his old, new, friend. "For now, I'll assist you."

Legion turned and stared at him briefly before returning to prepare the core for transport to the room where it could be hooked up - at least still on the same level as they were currently located.

"I will not turn away any offer of assistance."

A small smile tugged at Jase's face and he began working together with his geth friend.

 

Some time later Hilary arrived and began to work right away. She was glad to see that Jase had found his lost friend, but there was no time for personal thoughts. Every single thought was focused on the core and hooking it up. The plans she had received from Mrs. Gemla told her that the woman knew more about it than she had let her know. To have the portal open for the next 120 hours until the Reapers  
arrived was something she hadn't dared to hope for. According to her calculations she now knew it was possible.

 

A few hours later - Arlen frowned, having received orders to prepare for an incredible increase of incoming patients. Something was going on, he knew it, when a bunch of batarian doctors joined him and even more medical personnel showed up, including several former refugees. The little med-bay was being moved to a different level, one above the current one. Arlen felt intimidated by the batarians, but the orders were clear. He was the head, they'd have to listen to him and work together. 

Hours later when everything was back in order he yawned, it was morning already and now they were waiting for the promised work.

 

Back on the Normandy Kaidan gave Saya a few loving kisses and a smile, but then he grew serious. "I think Joker will be glad to be able to fly again, even if it means piloting a shuttle with refugees to the transport ships."

"I don't know, Kaidan." Saya's voice was filled with worry for her friend and brother-in-law. "Jeff seemed a bit distant when I saw him yesterday."

"Joker and distant? Mmh. Such behavior is highly unusual for him. I could go talk to him and see how he is doing." Kaidan offered.

"What and leave your pregnant wife alone?" Saya giggled. "Go on - just don't break my ship." She teased him.

Kaidan snatched another kiss from her. "We'll, I'm trying hard not to break anything. I don't want to end up as Superman." Then he leaned down and kissed her still flat stomach before he left to find their pilot. First stop was the cabin and he knocked.

"Who is it?" Came the sullen voice from the other side of the door.

Kaidan frowned, this wasn't good and nothing like Joker. "It's me, Joker, Kaidan. Can I come inside?"

"Which Kaidan?" Joker's voice grew cold.

"Uhm," Kaidan was baffled for a second before he answered. "Your brother-in-law. Saya's Kaidan."

"Okay. You can come in." Joker's voice softened a little.

Kaidan walked in and was worried now. Something was off.

"Everything okay?" Joker turned to face him.

Kaidan nodded but was more surprised at the beaten look on Joker's face. "We're fine, thanks Joker. What about you? You look like you haven't slept at all."

"I haven't." He went quiet again. "I've been up all night."

"Joker, what happened?" Kaidan asked and looked worried while searching his face. The man didn't look exactly sick, but worn, tired and hurt.

"I took stock of all the supplies for Jase. And he said we had a lot and I suggested requisitioning some for the Hawaii shelter since some of the refugees here have shown an interest but nooooo apparently that's just *wrong* to do."

"And you two had an argument," Kaidan nodded a bit. "What kind of interest have they shown to it?" He asked, wanting to understand this better.

"I had a lot of people ask me about it. They just want to go back to Earth and someplace safe."

Kaidan nodded. "I'm sorry Joker, I think it's a great idea. I don't understand why he thought it was wrong."

"He said it would be stealing." Joker stated.

"Mmh," Kaidan pondered this. "Now of course this depends. If it's given to the refugees themselves it wouldn't be stealing. Giving it to the shelter, which is our own project, then yes I can see it as stealing. When these people leave here and we hand each of them a package, no one can accuse anyone of stealing as these supplies are for them."

Joker sighed and sat back down on the bed.

"Yeah. Sure. Cause you know, they won't just give them to him if he asks. Which they will. They won't do it if anyone else asks."

Kaidan nodded, thinking of Saya and how she always had to fight for everything. He nodded again with a sigh. "You're right. If he asks, they jump. If it was my wife, she'd have to beg them on her knees."

"Yeah. Well now you know."

Kaidan nodded again, being silent for a little while. "I don't know, if you want I can try talk to him. But we have received news and a few new orders. Everyone who's able to pilot something is to fly the refugees off to the transport ships waiting in space. Talk is the Reapers are closing in on the other side and your sister somehow managed to get the portal to stay open all the time until they arrive in, well, about four days now. It's already crazy down there from what I heard."

"So you've come to ask for my piloting skills I gather?" Joker seemed to perk up a little bit.

"Yes," Kaidan nodded, "among making sure you're alright. Saya is worried about you too."

"Heh... well thanks for that." Joker smiled a little bit. "When do you want me on our shuttle?"

"As soon as you can. Cortez is flying the other one."

"I'll head right down there then. And Kaidan? Thanks."

Kaidan stood up and nodded at him. "We're family Joker. We're there for each other and care about you."

Joker grinned at that and stood as well.

"Then let's save some asses."

Kaidan chuckled softly. "Or in our case, a few hundred thousand. I.. uh.. I'm not going to give you a hand or something to help you up. It seems I have developed a bit more of strength since my.. infection and I don't want to cause you any, well, broken bones. I already bruised Saya without wanting it."

Joker raised an eyebrow at him.

"What?? Holy shit..."

Kaidan nodded, looking thoughtful. "To be honest.. sometimes I don't even know anymore if I'm still me and my old self. With everything that happened since the kidnapping and Saya's.. uh..," Kaidan paused then and whispered the word eventually, "rape..."

"Trust me, you're still you. The same old lovable you that we all adore." Joker put a gentle hand on the other man's shoulder. "No matter what happens, you'll always be that person."

"Heh," Kaidan grinned a little at him. "Same old lovable me. Thanks, I think I needed to hear it from someone else, someone who's not in love with me." Kaidan said, already thinking of Saya again.

"Well I can definitely guarantee I'm not in love with you." Joker laughed a little. "But listen, you're a good man Kaidan. You always will be."

"Thanks," Kaidan said again with a smile. "I really needed to hear this. Thanks Joker."

"You too. Shall we get to work, Commander?"

Kaidan nodded. "Please, before my wife is asking where I am."

"Relax, she trusts you. We all do." Joker headed for the door, aware that Kaidan followed.

Kaidan chuckled softly. "Well, we're having another baby and I want to spend as much time as possible with her. And the next days and week will be very tiring for anyone of us."

* * *

It had been two days already. Two days and they still weren't finished. Dan rubbed his forehead and sighed. They were quickly running out of time and... He stared at the one monitor he had hooked up to watch the shuttles and his eyes widened in horror as he saw one of the shuttles make a crash landing.

"Oh shit..." Dan opened his comm. "Captain Alenko to Commander Shepard, Jase pick up and pick up NOW!"

Jase was downstairs, dodging people left and right as he tried to get through to Hilary. The voice sounded extremely urgent and Dan actually getting in touch with him was.. new. 

"Dan? What's going on?"

"Get to the landing pad. I'll meet you there! Joker's shuttle just went down!" Dan was grabbing what he could and ran from his office at top speed.

Jase stopped walking for a few seconds and people ran into him as everything seemed to come to a stop around him. Eventually he shook himself out of it and ran upstairs, mind going crazy with the possibilities of injuries Jeff would have suffered. 'Please, he can't die. Please, he can't. Just get there, he'll be fine.' Jase kept telling himself while running upstairs.

When reaching the zone he didn't want to look at how bad it was, if the shuttle was broken or people dead, nor at the people already there to help. He wanted to see Jeff, alive.

"Where is he?!"

Dan ran over to Jase as soon as he saw him.

"Over here Jase!" He took Jase to where some of the emergency medical personnel were working on an unconscious Joker.

Unable to do anything but watch and stand by, Jase closed his eyes for a few seconds before he looked back to see what they were doing. He couldn't see much of his husband as too many people surrounded him. The soldier in him cautioned him to stay calm and focused, even to give a helping hand, coordinate the rescue; the husband and lover in him wanted to yell at them to let him get through to Jeff.

"Jeff? I'm here Jeff, just .. hold on." Looking into the round he needed an answer. "How is he?"

The Batarian doctor who was on duty spoke up.

"He may have gotten the shuttle down intact, but nearly every bone in his body is broken."

In front of Jase's inner eye a skeleton popped open, red dots showing up everywhere. Rips, legs, arms, shoulders.. And if he was lucky the Cerberus upgrade maybe would have kept his legs intact. There was a pained frown on Jase's face as he closed his eyes, unable to think for the very moment. But then he opened them, the pained frown still on his face and he hit the comm to call...Elaine? Edi, Hilary, Saya, Kaidan? Saya. Saya, yes.

It felt like years until he finally got the call out. "Sis. Jeff's hurt bad."

Saya stopped walking and put her hand on Kaidan's arm to stop him as she took the call.

"Jase? What happened?? How bad is he??" She saw Kaidan's confused look and mouthed Joker's name at him then saw him go pale.

Kaidan laid his arm around her as Jase rattled down what he knew. Which wasn't much. "I'll stay with him," he just said, unable to say anything else.

"I'll let Hilary know then we're coming to be with you. And I'll advise Arlen."

"Yes. Can you call him?" Jase said and then Saya could hear him talking to the others as he wanted them to bring Jeff to the Normandy.

"Do what you can there Jase - if needed, Edi's still there with you. If they refuse to let him come then get her to ask. Because she won't let him stay there."

Jase nodded and just said thanks and did what Saya had told him to do, calling Arlen and Edi up. For a moment he was looking at their shuttle and he wondered how Dan had known about it so fast. Had there been more people in it and hurt? Why had it crashed? Was Jeff not feeling well? Jase moved, trying to see more of his husband, but instead he knocked into Dan a little. "Sorry."

"It's alright." Dan said softly, steadying the other man gently. "Just be glad there were no other people on that shuttle."

Jase nodded, eyes trying to find a spot of Jeff. "Yeah. Thanks," he nodded again and then he looked really at Dan. "Thanks. Why did he crash?"

"I don't know Jase. I monitor all the shuttles when I'm in one of my offices. I just saw the shuttle go down and then I realized which one it was."

"Jeff never crashed a ship. Never," Jase said and stepped a bit aside when the people suddenly began moving. "He told me once someone beat him up, broke nearly every bone. He had to spend three months in a hospital. He wouldn't do this willingly."

"I don't suppose you know if he even took a break in the last two days do you?" Dan watched him.

Jase had to admit he didn't know at all since he hadn't come back up to the Normandy and hadn't taken many breaks either. 

"No. I haven't seen him in the last two days," especially not since their argument in the supply room. "Nor spoken to him." Jase added quietly. "He's like me, working himself into the ground, wanting me to be proud of him."

"You haven't seen him at all in the past two days... god Jase he's your husband!..." Dan trailed off. "Either way - if that's the case and he's so much like you.. I'm willing to bet that tiredness played a factor here."

"I know he's my husband," Jase quietly answered with force. "We had a fucking argument about _something_. Next I knew was the portal running nonstop. He could be working the damn garbage. I'd still be proud of him." Jase sighed and rubbed his face, Dan was probably right and Jeff had fallen asleep for a second.

"Don't go there Jase. Come on, let's see if we can't expedite Jeff's journey to the Normandy okay?"

"Yeah, alright." Jase nodded, glad that Dan was here, Arlen on the way and Saya too. Someone needed to take over downstairs though. "Dan, really. Thanks."

"You know you're welcome." Dan's voice was quiet.

 

Saya silently approached the young woman who was back on the Normandy to have something to eat.

"Hilary?"

Hilary swallowed down the bite and put her fork down. "Yes ma'am?"

Saya put a gentle hand on the other woman's shoulder.

"Hilary, there's been an accident..."

Hilary went silent and paled. For a moment she forgot to breathe. Everything suddenly reminded her of a few years ago. "No. Who's ... died?" That brought a lot of bad memories back.

"Nobody's dead, Hilary. But..." Saya took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "Hilary, Jeff has been badly hurt."

Hilary stood up in a hurry, feeling relieved and worried at the same time. "Where's Jeffy? What happened and how bad is it??"

"I don't know how bad it is Hilary. All I know is his shuttle crashed."

Hilary nodded and put her face into her hands. "Where is he Captain? I have to get to him, I can't leave him alone."

"We're trying to get him back to the Normandy. And he's not alone."

Hilary nodded and said quietly, "Thank you Captain. Thank you..."

"Come on, let's both go and wait for Jeff to arrive okay?" Saya put a gentle arm around Hilary's shoulders.

Hilary nodded and willingly walked with her. When Dan showed up she rushed to him.

Dan quite willingly took her into his arms and held her tightly.

Hilary watched then as more people came and her brother was carried into the med-bay, Jase walking at his side.

Dan gently kept her back out of the way.

"He'll be okay."

Hilary looked at him and studied his face for a few seconds and knew her brother would be okay. Dan wouldn't lie to her. It still scared her though and she buried her face into his chest.

Not even a minute later and Arlen came storming into his med-bay and everyone moved out of the way to let the doctor work.

Dan reached out and pulled Jase back so that Arlen would have the extra space.

Jase wanted to protest, but when he looked at Dan, he slowly nodded at him. His eyes drifted to Hilary and back up to Dan's face before he looked back at the person who was most important. Jase knew he should probably say something, or even move but he couldn't. Or telling someone to take over for him down at the portal, but right now, this wasn't important. Important was Jeff.

Saya watched from the doorway, Kaidan still at her side.

"Kaidan, has Liara arrived yet?"

Kaidan gently caressed Saya's back and nodded. "Yes, she's arrived earlier today. Why do you ask?"

"We're going to need someone down there to oversee things. Can you ask her if she'll do it for us?"

"I'll ask her and I can go down with her. It would be easier for all of us since I know my way around and have been here all the time." Kaidan volunteered.

Saya looked at him then nodded slowly.

"Alright, be careful."

Kaidan nodded and rubbed her back gently, then he leaned in to give her a kiss. "I always am and especially now," he whispered.

She smiled at him then watched him go. Slowly, Saya returned her gaze to the scene playing out in front of her.

 

Jase hadn't noticed when Kaidan had disappeared or when Dan had started to give Arlen a hand. Just at some point he realized the two men were talking and Dan was working with Arlen hand in hand. When had Dan become a doctor? Jase frowned. So many things had changed. His eyes fell back onto Jeff's face. The hat was gone. Gone. But not Jeff.

Saya moved to her brother and pulled him into her arms to hold him.

"He'll make it."

Jase rested his head on her shoulder as best as he could and just stayed there. His 'little' strong sister, always knowing what he needed most. So many hugs and strength she had given him in the past years.

"Tell me what you need my brother." Saya whispered to him. "And you'll have it."

Saya was special, always knew what to do with him. Jase relaxed a little more. "Hawaii and Jeff," he whispered.

"Then we'll make it happen - I promise."

Jase looked up and at his sister. "You need it too," he whispered. "I know you do." And probably more than he did since her twins were there. With a sigh he closed his eyes again, picturing Jeff and himself sitting at the beach, listening to the waves, Pepper's barks and felt the sand running through his fingers. For the moment he could really hear the sound of the waves.

"I promise we'll get you there." Saya kept her voice quiet.

"Okay," Jase whispered, nodding. "Okay."

"You should go get some rest. I'll stay here and let you know if something happens okay?"

Jase was undecided, he wanted to be there and stay at Jeff's side. He looked up and over to him, feeling torn.

Saya could see the indecision in him and knew this must be what Kaidan went through all too often.

"What about using that empty bed over there? That way you're still in the same room."

Jase turned to look at it and nodded. "Yeah. Okay."

"Come on then..." Saya guided him to the vacant bed and gently helped him lie down.

Jase stole another glance towards Jeff before he laid down willingly. Maybe this was just a bad dream and when he woke up it would be all over. Despite trying not to fall asleep, he did.

Saya stayed with him, gently stroking his hair.

 

Never before had he seen so many broken bones at once or in one person. Arlen glanced at Dan Alenko before he continued with the current bone. It was hard to imagine how people like Joker had survived a hundred years ago, without all of the tech to set and heal bones like they could do now. But Arlen knew healing Joker's was more difficult and taking longer. It would only add more pain.

"You're doing good work, Captain Alenko," Arlen said softly.

"Thank you Doctor." Dan replied as he continued working. "I've had some practice."

Arlen knew he didn't just have some. "I'm grateful for your help. In what other areas are you experienced?"

Another minor fracture was set, one of many on one single bone. Arlen felt for the pilot, the pain would be extremely hard to bear and he shook his head a little.

"I have experience in a great many areas Doctor." Dan responded.

Arlen nodded, watching him for a few seconds before focusing back on Joker. "If you feel comfortable, I'm always interested to hear from others their work. Maybe later we could," he spoke carefully now, "talk, Captain?"

Dan glanced up at him before returning his eyes to Joker's body.

"There really isn't much to talk about, but if you'd like that then I don't mind to."

Arlen just nodded. He and his social skills, he probably just should take a break later in the server room and talk to Edi.

Hilary quietly slipped out of the room. She couldn't watch it anymore and went back to Dan's quarter curling up in his bed.

To Dan, it felt like days (and yet it was only hours) before the pair of them had managed to fix all of the breaks, cracks and fractures. He sighed softly as the last one was finally done.

Arlen administered the needed medications and scanned the pilot once again. He shook his head a little at the sheer number and knew they all could feel lucky there hadn't been more serious internal damage.

"A hundred years ago," he whispered, not continuing it. Instead he turned around and walked over to Saya. "Captain Shepard?"

She turned to look at him, worry lines creasing her face.

"Doctor?"

Arlen inhaled deeply and began telling her what they did. 

"We're extremely lucky to still have him around, aside of no major internal injuries. He was very lucky to land the shuttle the way he did. The healing process is expected to be, well for someone in his condition, to be long and painful." 

Arlen took a breath and continued, "For now we have agreed to keep him asleep, taking off the worst of the pain. The Flight-lieutenant should not move just yet, he will need more, special, therapy later," Arlen concluded.

Saya closed her eyes for a second then looked at him again.

"Good work Doctor... and thank you."

Arlen gave her a quick little smile, wanting to say that is why he became a doctor but instead he just nodded his thanks. His eyes fell on the Commander and he scanned him quickly. "Mmh, his weight has dropped, he needs to eat better. Otherwise as healthy as a bull." 

Then he looked at his Captain and quickly did the same with her, lingering longer over her stomach and then he smiled. "Healthy, both of you and growing nicely. Have you experienced any discomforts yet?"

"You mean besides the morning sickness?" Saya chuckled a little and gently rubbed her stomach. "I think we're doing okay at the moment."

Arlen nodded, some women liked experiencing the trouble that came with a pregnancy. "If you wish I could give you something to help with the morning sickness, Captain."

"You really have something? Arlen I would be *eternally* grateful."

Arlen grinned and nodded, walked over to his cabinet and rummaged around to come back with something. "Old fashioned, simple, but very effective." Arlen handed her a bag of ginger-tea. "I also suggest eating a little bit before leaving the bed _slowly_."

"Aye aye Doctor." Saya put a hand on his arm. "And thank you for everything."

"Thank you for having me, Captain." Arlen nodded and went to Joker, checking him once again before he retreated to his desk, doing the paperwork.

Dan silently retreated from the med bay and went to his quarters. For some reason it was no surprise to him when he found Hilary there on his bed.

Hilary heard someone entering the room and she knew it was Dan. Moving a little she peered over the cushion she was hugging, watching him. 

"How is he?" she asked quietly.

"He'll be okay in time. We managed to heal everything but we're keeping him sedated for now to help ease him through some of the more intense pain."

"You're a good man Kaidan Alenko," she said quietly, "thank you for helping my brother."

"You're welcome, Hilary." Dan went and sat on the bed near her. 

Hilary quickly sat up and hugged him. "You must be exhausted."

Dan held her close for several seconds before sighing and nodding.

"You have no idea..."

Torn between visiting her brother and Kaidan Hilary decided to be there for Dan first. Joker was still asleep and she could visit him later.

"Kaidan," she said softly, "you can talk to me about everything, yes? Is there anything I can do for you?"

"You're sweet Hil, but unfortunately there's not much you can do for me. I'm just worn out."

Hilary smiled at him and stroked his hair. "Then I think you might want to get a nap?"

"Hmmmm that sounds like a wonderful idea." Dan mumbled, enjoying the touch of her fingers in his hair.

"Sleep a bit? I'll stay with you for a little bit longer and watch over you." Hilary took the blanket and laid it over Kaidan.

"You don't have to if you'd rather be with Joker, I understand."

"I will go visit him later, okay?" Hilary kept stroking his hair. "Sleep Kaidan, sleep."

Dan lied down quite willingly and closed his eyes, letting her stroking lull him to sleep.

Hilary stayed with him, enjoying the time she had to take care of him. Eventually she laid down and cuddled close, thinking a nap wouldn't hurt. Jeff was going to be fine and after a nap she'd pay her brother a visit. He was going to be in a hell of a lot of pain, she knew that.

Saya stayed in the infirmary until her Kaidan returned from talking with Liara to send her down.

"She was okay with it?" Saya whispered in a hushed tone.

"Yes," Kaidan nodded and gave his wife a kiss. "I'm going down later and help. How's Joker?"

"Sleeping. But Dan and Arlen said they managed to mend everything." Saya leaned against him with a quiet sigh.

Kaidan nodded and studied their pilot while gently caressing her hair. "I'm glad to hear this. How are you feeling?"

"Tired but I don't want to leave. Oh, Arlen gave me something for the morning sickness you so love."

Kaidan grinned and leaned down, giving her another kiss. "It's hard seeing you getting sick and suffering so much. I'm, once again, glad to hear about this," he whispered. "And how is your brother?"

"Worried sick." Saya rubbed her own tired eyes. "I made him lie down to try and sleep."

Kaidan nodded, studying his family. "You always were good with giving him orders," he said softly. "Do you need anything?"

"Other than Joker to be normal.... I'm okay. Thanks sweetie."

Kaidan smiled down at her.

"He doesn't need to be normal," Jase whispered, "not for me."

Saya jumped when she heard the voice at her elbow.

"Jase... I'm sorry did we wake you?" She started stroking his face gently.

Jase leaned into the touch, not opening his eyes yet. "You didn't." Part of him was disappointed it wasn't a dream but very real. "How's Jeff?" Jase sighed out.

"He's sleeping Jase. They managed to get his bones back together but he's going to be in for a very rough time."

Jase sighed deeply and rubbed his head then. "Damn. Should have.. checked in on him." Jase sat up, shaking his head. "Years ago a supposed friend beat him up. It must have been about the same like now." Jase motioned at his husband. "Just... look at him."

Saya took Jase's hand in her own and held it tightly.

"*We* will get him through this - together. You, neither of you, will be alone in it."

Jase nodded at her and took her into a hug. 

"Saya. Thanks. Don't know what I'd do without you. Don't know how I managed all those years without you guys. But back then I had Kaidan," he smiled a little, more at his family than about Dan. Jase nodded at himself a little bit, eyes on Jeff again. He knew he should ask about the refugees and everything, but somehow, it had become so unimportant right now and was far away from voicing it.

"That's what family is for Jase." Saya responded softly. "Just so you know - Liara is down looking after the portal now so we have someone we trust there."

"She's arrived?" Jase asked, studying Saya and Kaidan.

"Yes I brought her down, I'll go down later and help her with everything," Kaidan told him.

"Good," Jase eyed the pair and nodded once again. "Means Dan can talk to her later too. How long have you been here with me?"

"I've been here since you got here Jase." Saya smiled. "I couldn't leave you alone."

"Thanks," Jase said with a gentle smile and nodded once again. He eyed her up and down, trying to see if she was doing okay with the baby and everything. Slowly he got off the bed and hugged her again.

"Thanks. I'll stay here with Jeff."

"And you'll call me if there's any changes or if you need me here?"

"I will. I won't leave his side." Jase nodded, knowing he wouldn't.

Saya kissed his cheek gently, knowing it helped him.

"Alright, call me for *anything*."

Jase closed his eyes for a second, enjoying the loving kiss from her.

"Just take care of Joker, Jase. Liara and I bring the rest of your people over." Kaidan squeezed his shoulder a little.

"Thanks. Again." Jase nodded and went over to Jeff's bed, sitting down. Once the med-bay was quiet he gently laid his hand under Jeff's, too afraid to hurt him and waited.

Somewhere he just started talking. 

"Hey Jeff." 

And that was it. Jase fell silent again, frowning at himself. 

After a while he started again. "I'm a dork. At times I can say a lot. Then there are times like now where I _want_ to tell you a few things and I don't know how. What I'm trying to say is, I'm sorry." Jase then fell silent again and closed his eyes. He couldn't get them to open up again but wasn't falling asleep either and at this moment he understood how exhausted he was. Especially mentally.

Thoughts were traveling back, remembering their home where he took Kaidan riding and the man got kidnapped, how they had been ripped away from their sanctuary at Hawaii and thrown into the batarian games, battling sicknesses, thugs, slavers, viruses and the worst, Saya facing Udina. Then the miracle had happened and Jase had gotten Kaidan back. 

Dan. Captain Alenko. 

Someone who had changed so much that sometimes he had trouble to realize Dan was still the same man he had met years ago and fallen in love with.

Decisions. 

He had been trained to make decisions, to decide what was right to do and what was the wrong thing to do, or even to decide for the greater good and having to sacrifice someone or something. Jase had always been an one man lover. Looking was fine but at home was were he ate. But deciding which heart he was going to break had been an exhausting new experience. The decision had been made more easily than he thought, though. 

Jase grunted softly and moved to rest his head on the small space that was free on Jeff's bed. 

The marriage and vow was what had mattered, along with Jeff's dedication to him and being there for Jase, no matter what. In the end Jase knew he had made the right decision, because Jeff hadn't lied to him, unlike Dan. While he understood the reason of not telling him he was still alive, he also knew it was something he needed to forget about and move on. Elaine was another reason and adding even more discomfort by admitting to Jase he had been nothing more than a lab rat.

Jase looked up and rubbed his eyes, studying Jeff's quiet form and face. Pale and tired. A rustle across the bed caught his attention and there was Arlen. He hadn't noticed him before.

"Commander," he simply said and scanned his patient.

Jase thought the man just did this to keep himself busy and somehow he felt Arlen needed to do it to see once again that his patients were fine. Not even Dr. Chakwas had been this dedicated and she was one of the best Doctors Jase had ever met.

"Doc, show me the fractures," Jase kind of ordered, wanting to see where and what had been broken and cracked and whatever else there had been.

Arlen frowned at this but nodded eventually, despite the unusual request. He quickly brought up the hologram of his patient and many red dots and areas popped open.

"His legs don't have a lot of fractures," Jase pointed out, ignoring the red dots on the toes.

"Correct," Arlen replied, "it's with thanks to the modifications your husband received a few years ago."

Jase nodded, studying it further. "His spine hasn't been damaged, nor his neck or skull." But the ribcage looked the worst, together with his right upper arm and shoulder.

Arlen nodded, "Indeed. And this is why I say he's been extremely lucky. So far Captain Alenko and I have been able to mend many fractures, cracks and broken bones. I'm not religious, Commander. But someone was watching over LT Moreau today. One unlucky crack...," Arlen trailed off and nodded.

Jase felt dizzy for a moment, he really could have lost him. "Thanks Doc," was all he said before returning to watch over Jeff once again.

 

Not quite believing her eyes, Saya read Edi's report of the shuttle crash again. She was pale and she knew it and saw Kaidan watching her from the other side of the room.

"Saya? What's wrong. You lost all color." Kaidan asked worried.

"The shuttle accident... according to Edi - it wasn't an accident Kaidan. It was sabotage. And she pointed out - I was supposed to be on that shuttle tomorrow to check on things."

"Oh my god!" Kaidan dropped the data pad he was holding.

Saya looked at him, naked fear on her face.

"Kaidan..."

"We have to find this agent before he can do any more damage!" Now he was really missing James but they had Edi. "Has Edi any visuals on who was working on the shuttle? Joker has been flying it all day."

"There's been a few people.... but it would certainly narrow things down."

"I'm sure one of them has only joined us a year ago." Kaidan felt ready to murder this someone.

"I want this bastard Kaidan. And I will make him suffer for this."

Kaidan nodded and picked up the pad then walked to his wife to sit down with her. Together with Saya he studied the vids. "One is a woman," Kaidan checked her name and shook his head, it wasn't their agent. "She joined the Normandy with Dr. Novak."

"But Elaine said the agent was a man..."

"Elaine can say many things. I'm not sure if I can trust her - ever." Kaidan pointed at the picture on his pad, "Well, it's not her."

Saya just nodded and kept watching. She felt sick to her stomach. Joker was nearly killed - because of her.

Kaidan kept going through one after the other until he looked at Saya and said, "I think we have him."

"Good.... excuse me..." She ran to their washroom and emptied her stomach.

"Oh god," Kaidan groaned softly and rubbed his forehead. Then he stood up and went after her. "Hey..."

Saya sat on the floor and leaned against the wall for support.

"He's on that bed because of me..."

"No. He's on that bed because someone sent an agent," Kaidan said softly and got a washcloth for her

"An Agent who is to kill ME, Kaidan. ME."

Kaidan knew this. "Saya. It's nobodies fault but those who sent him over. Not yours. How about I get you off the floor and we catch the bastard. You get his front I get his back. Including my biotics."

Saya looked up at him then nodded slowly.

"Deal."

Kaidan helped her onto her feet and then he walked them out, down to where they knew the agent was. He was surprised that once they found him the man hadn't put up a fight.

Irimsaya paced angrily in front of the Agent, glaring at him from time to time.

"Who the hell are you."

"Todd Chivy, Captain." He sneered at her.

Kaidan glanced at the door, towards the two marines standing guard there before he looked back at their agent. He knew right away this was a wrong name.

"We can make this short. It's over. Your world's gone, well kind of, and your boss has tried to stop you. We know this from the transmissions you received."

"Like I care. I came here to do a job and one way or another I'll get it done." He sneered back at Kaidan.

"But you should," Kaidan whispered at him. "Being tossed out of the airlock in space is not a pleasant experience. If you value your life or have a bit of honor left, you will work together with us and maybe I can convince my wife not to do it."

"She'd die trying." He laughed.

"Mh. Too bad for you, you had your chance," Kaidan said and then the door opened.

"Do you require my assistance, Shepard-Captain?" Legion asked as he walked in. Having learned about Saya and the Normandy from his geth network, he had then gotten in touch with Edi, who in turn had provided any feeds he had requested. 

"I have come to the conclusion that this individual poses a threat to the Normandy and its crew."

Irimsaya couldn't help but smile when she saw Legion. Until now she hadn't realized how much she really had missed him.

"I had heard you came through. Welcome aboard the Normandy, Legion. And yes, this man does pose a threat. He already sabotaged the shuttle that Joker was flying, causing it to crash."

Legion's eye flashed and he looked back at the agent. "The Geth do not condone any hostility towards those who brought us peace with the Creators." Legion looked at the Captain and then back to the agent. "The Geth are... upset to learn about the crash. The Geth are highly unsettled about Shepard-Commander's husband being damaged."

Kaidan tried hard not to chuckle because this was more than just telling them what they thought. It was a threat.

"Is that thing... *threatening* me?" Todd glared at them. "Because if it is - then you're definitely not gonna learn anything."

Legion looked at the Captain and played dumb. "What is a threat, Shepard-Captain? The Geth wished to express their thoughts through me."

Saya smiled a little at that.

"I think he's afraid of you Legion."

Legion nodded. "Acknowledged." Then he looked back down at the agent, clearly communicating. "We wish to express our apology Chivy-Agent. The Geth do not attack first, they only defend."

Kaidan glanced at Saya, this was as good as saying they'll protect them.

"Yeah sure. Look, all I'm gonna say is this ship ain't going anywhere. And that portal - is never going to close."

"Why won't it be closed?" Kaidan asked. "This reality is a peaceful place now."

"That's all I'm saying." Todd smiled and leaned back.

Legion's light was flashing busily and Kaidan tried to get him to talk. "Listen up, Todd. You're here now in our reality and if the portal won't be closed we will face another Reaper war. I don't think you would want this."

"Maybe - maybe not. Who knows what I want." Todd laughed.

"I'm more concerned about the part where the ship won't fly again." Saya looked over at her husband.

Kaidan was about to reply something when Legion spoke up.

"The Normandy has not been sabotaged, Shepard-Captain," Legion looked at her. "He is correct, the portal will not close. Its programming has been infested by a virus."

Saya looked at Legion in horror.

"Then how do we close it???"

"The Geth and I offer our assistance, Shepard-Captain," Legion said, eye giving away his communication with them. "A ship will arrive within a day."

"I'm sure Edi will be glad about any help she can get." Kaidan said, leaving out Hilary's name on purpose.

"Thank you Legion." Saya spoke quietly but she didn't like the way the agent was staring... no... leering at her.

Kaidan was watching his wife and saw something flicker in her eyes and he slowly looked down at the agent. Eyes narrowing, Kaidan knew something was up between these two. Out of instinct, his biotics began to show and his fingers were digging into the agent's shoulder.

Todd winced and looked up at him.

"What's your problem now."

Kaidan smiled too nicely at him and rubbed the apparently sore spot. "Thank you for your time, Agent Chivy. I'll send my krogan friend in, I'm sure you'll enjoy his presence more than ours." Kaidan motioned at Saya to leave the room together with him, with her walking out first.

Legion decided to stay behind a little bit longer, light showing he was communicating all the time.

 

"I don't like this Kaidan." Saya said as she walked with him. "He gave us that information a little too easily."

Kaidan nodded. "And half of it was a lie apparently. Well, he is going to stay inside and is being guarded and watched. We could use some more help on him and a little bit more background information would be good. I figure the file we have on him is a blatant lie anyway."

"In which case we have to figure out where the lies stop and where the truth begins."

"What do you want me to do?" Kaidan looked at her. "Right now we have all those refugees coming over and the problem with the portal. He's been here a year, the portal's been sabotaged and he tried to kill you. Enough to hand him over to the Alliance, let them deal with him."

"But why would he even tell us about the portal sabotage Kaidan? He gave us that information way too easily." Saya's voice showed just how hard she was thinking.

"You know, what if he's holding a grudge against Elaine? She's tried to get him to stop apparently but he just didn't care about her orders."

Saya stopped so suddenly that she felt Kaidan almost walk right past her.

"So he could actually be setting her up. If the portal doesn't close with the new power supply - everyone will blame her."

Kaidan slowly nodded. "And he would look like a hero because he told us about it. Maybe I should go down and talk to her. Or go ask my other self if he knows anything about him, now that we have something like a name."

Saya rested a protective hand on her stomach.

"Do what you think would be best, Kaidan."

Kaidan was watching her and worried. "Saya, are you feeling well?"

"Hmmm? Yes I'm fine. Just trying to figure out this puzzle is all sweetie."

Kaidan took her and laid his arms around her, giving her a kiss. "I'm glad we finally caught him." He sighed then softly, thinking of Joker lying in med-bay. "I'll go talk to Captain Alenko, then I might go and talk to Elaine." Kaidan stopped, frowning a little. "I don't know, I'm a little bit confused, what do you think. Should I go to Elaine and leave Dan out of this?" Kaidan sighed, having another one of those brain hiccup moments where he couldn't think clear.

"Talk to Dan first... or I can if you want. It must be odd talking to yourself.."

"It is. But I don't mind and he's on the Normandy." Kaidan nodded, rubbing her back gently.

"Alright. Do you need anything?"

"Just you," Kaidan whispered and enjoyed standing with her for another minute before he let go of Saya. And then he gave her a smile and squeezed her hand gently. "I will let you know how it went."

Irimsaya squeezed his hand back gently.

"Please do. Kaidan, I love you."

"I love you too." Kaidan gave her another smile and went to Dan, knocking carefully.

Dan groaned and got up from the bed, still fully dressed. Opening the door he eyed himself with a raised eyebrow.

"Commander, what can I do for you?"

Kaidan just stood there for a short moment, eyeing himself, before he finally said something. "Sorry for disturbing you, Captain. We have the agent and I was wondering if you could help us find out more about him as the file we have is an obvious lie."

Dan smiled at the news.

"Well done then. Care to show me what you have?"

Kaidan wanted to comment it had taken them far too long. He gave Dan the data pad, explaining more. But first he started with thanking Dan. "I wanted to thank you for helping Joker. Edi found out his shuttle had been sabotaged by the agent."

Dan looked over the datapad with a thoughtful expression.

"I know this name..."

Kaidan nodded, wondering how and from where. "The portal's been sabotaged, too. It won't close."

Dan looked at his double again, this time a hint of alarm on his face.

"That's what he told you?"

"Among another lie, yes. Legion confirmed it to be true." Kaidan nodded.

Rubbing his eyes, Dan moved to one of his monitors.

"How the hell could he have even done it..."

Kaidan shook his head, following him slowly. "I'm not a tech expert. Sabotaging something either means destroying it or have it malfunctioning. Is there anything like a closing mechanism? A sequence?" 

"Yes, a string of characters typed into Elaine's 'key' is supposed to open and close it as needed."

Kaidan nodded at this. "Legion and the Geth offered us their help to close the portal."

"I'm not sure it will be enough, but I'm glad they did."

"Saya, my wife, has a theory. Laying blame onto Elaine will make him look like a hero because he tipped us off. And.. our sister will look once again like a monster who isn't to be trusted." Kaidan watched him, wondering how he felt about Elaine and what his reaction would be.

"No. I won't let that happen again." Dan's voice was shaking a little in anger at the thought.

"Well, for what it might be worth it and after everything...," Kaidan sighed, "after what happened lately and knowing she's come around I would like to help."

"Then let's get to work. Do you have any ideas how he might have been able to get there to sabotage it for one thing."

"We have been here for more than a week, nearly two actually. Anyone has been helping out with the refugees and of course in their free time they're free to go down to New Omega. If no one has paid him any attention....," Kaidan trailed off. "He's an agent, he'd know how to disguise himself not to draw any attention."

"I don't suppose we have access to any kind of security footage from New Omega do we?" Dan asked, cautiously optimistic.

"Edi? Can you give the Captain access to the security footage?" Kaidan half ordered, half asked.

"Of course, Commander." Edi paused for a moment. "Access granted."

Kaidan was now watching Dan. "I've seen Liara doing this," he nodded at him.

Dan snorted a little at that.

"I take it she's a good broker then."

Kaidan nodded, watching him more. "She brought my wife back into life."

"By making a deal with Cerberus. Yes I heard the report. Most... innovative of her."

"Innovative. Mmh. I can't say I was too happy about the deal with Cerberus. I mean I was mourning her for more than two years and suddenly I'm hearing reports of Cerberus and a rumor of her being alive. Then on Horizon she's standing in front of me and _is_ with Cerberus." Kaidan remembered that and how shocked he had felt. And it made him wondering about something else. "I know myself, I wouldn't have started working with Cerberus. Why have you?"

"As a means to an end. It was the only way I could keep an eye on Elaine and try to keep her in line. You can see how well that went." Anger coloured his voice. "But it did help me get intel and as the Broker I was able to keep things going with the Alliance."

"Yeah. My Elaine died shortly after they dragged me off to Baat. How is, or was, the Alliance doing after Eden Prime?"

"It was... bad. Let's just leave it at that." Dan responded.

"I'm sorry," Kaidan nodded in understanding. "I'm... trying to see it from your point of view. I think you made the best of the situation you found yourself in and considering everything else, you achieved a lot." Kaidan wasn't sure if he could have pulled off what Dan had done. "This man," Kaidan nodded towards the monitor, "wants to kill my wife. I wish I knew why. She hasn't done any harm to anyone of your reality. Instead she's helped her brother and gave him a home including a future."

"Perhaps his orders were to make Jase the only Shepard in this universe." Dan said thoughtfully.

In a weird crazy way it even made sense to Kaidan. And this scared him. "What would they achieve by making him the only one? Jase has always been pushing Saya forward, wanting her to continue with her career."

"Because he's the hero we all heard about." Dan answered. "But don't get me wrong - I would never EVER let anyone harm your Shepard."

"Thanks. We're having another baby." Kaidan paused and sighed then a little. "You know, I've overheard _and_ heard a lot about the chats my wife and Jase had. He always made sure everyone knew about Saya's achievements. Defeating Saren, taking down the Collectors. You probably don't know about the time after we defeated the Reapers. No one was able to watch us at home and couldn't witness how much both Shepards have suffered and.. let's just say the first weeks on Hawaii were hard. What I'm trying to say is, if something happens to Saya, Jase takes it and sometimes I thought he was feeling her pain. Or she his." Kaidan was watching Dan, wondering if he and Dan would share such a connection at some point as well.

"Mmmh interesting. Interesting indeed. Almost like they have the same mind. I'll need to look into that some more." Dan spoke thoughtfully as he continued digging around about their agent.

Kaidan thought it was intriguing being able to talk to himself and seeing the man to be so different from himself. 

"Actually they have. There were situations were both of them spoke up and said exactly the same word or sentence. Or they work hand in hand without realizing it and are completing each other." 

Now Kaidan wasn't sure if he and Dan would achieve the same status. Kaidan walked up to have a better view of the monitors. "You are really good," he nodded.

"Thank you, I appreciate the compliment." Dan said, distracted. "Okay, this is what I dug up about that agent from our universe's records."

Kaidan went to him and looked at it together with Dan. "Honestly? If I didn't know any better I would say this dossier reads like it's Kai Leng. But his look differs."

"Kai Leng... oh right... I remember reading about him - he was an assassin right?"

"Yes, he was a heavily augmented assassin. Before his life centered around Cerberus he was an N7, xenophobic, earthborn and of chinese heritage. Leng murdered a krogan in 2176 and was sentenced to 20 years in an Alliance prison. He only was released last year and hunted us down. Here," Kaidan said and pulled up what they had about him.

"You do know your agent *could* have had some cosmetic surgery to change his identity..."

"It would be possible, and the same could go for yours." Kaidan rubbed his eyes a little, thinking it was too bad they couldn't send him back where he came from.

"It's a damned shame the portal doesn't work both ways." Dan said, unknowingly voicing Kaidan's thought. "I'd love to send him to the Reapers."

Kaidan chuckled softly and nodded. "Actually this makes two of us."

Dan smiled a little bit at that.

"Why doesn't that surprise me in the slightest?"

Kaidan found it was nice to see him smiling a little a bit but he also had to talk to Elaine. "Maybe I can help you with something. I don't know with what exactly but...," he turned around to see who was entering the room.

Hilary walked inside and straight up to Dan. "Commander Alenko, Captain Alenko," she greeted them and eyed them. "Okay.. you two look funny."

Dan turned in his chair to look at her.

"Do me a favour Hil - define funny." He raised an eyebrow at her.

Kaidan just nodded at her in greeting and was wondering what they were looking like to be seen by someone else and yes. Funny.

Hilary wanted to say cute and cute but she didn't. "Oh it's like someone placed a giant mirror into this room and there you are, a second time." She didn't say looking good too. Instead her eyes just darted from one to the other.

"Heh," she shrugged and saw the monitors. "What are you looking at?"

Kaidan wanted to say something but the words were stuck, instead he pointed his finger at Dan and said, "If you want you can tell her."

Dan nodded the looked at Hilary again. Slowly he explained everything he and Kaidan had gone through.

Hilary looked more and more angry. "Oh someone has sabotaged my work and tried to kill my brother," she fumed. "Not with me! I will go down and fix the mess he created."

Dan grabbed her arm gently.

"No, you're in no condition to Hil. Listen to me for once, please."

Hilary just looked at him, wanting to protest but it died away. With a sigh she leaned into Dan a little and rested her hands on his shoulders. "You're right Kaidan. I'm tired and very exhausted." The last weeks, months even, had been hell. 

She sighed softly. "Jeffy's still sleeping, Jase doesn't leave his side." She sighed again. "But he sabotaged my work. And why didn't I see it?"

"Because he's that good Hilary. You're better... But he fooled a lot of us."

Kaidan nodded. "He's been on the Normandy for a year. None of us suspected anything." Nothing at all was more like it.

"I don't like it when someone sabotages my work." And discredits her name, but she didn't say this. "Kaidan, when I can't go back down can you hook me up to the systems from this room?"

Kaidan nearly wanted to answer it right away.

"I'm sorry, I meant Dan of course," Hilary said, seeing that Kaidan was about to answer.

"Actually I have nothing against it as long as it doesn't endanger the ship, Edi, the systems or anyone else," Kaidan told them.

Dan nodded thoughtfully.

"I think I can get things hooked up through here, we'll just have to be careful. For all we know the sabotage is a virus of some kind - and I don't want to infect Edi with that."

"Right...," Kaidan nodded a little. "That's correct.. Legion said it's infected by a virus. I.. forgot." Kaidan shook his head about himself. It wasn't like him to forget such important things, but ever since Elaine...

Hilary just looked at the Commander than back at her Dan and back at him.

"You forgot?" Dan raised an eyebrow at him. "That doesn't sound like... 'us'. Maybe you should let Arlen have a look at you?"

Kaidan sighed and nodded. "Maybe add the extra strength I developed as well. Ever since Elaine ... implanted me, at times I feel lost and need someone to guide me." Kaidan told his other self. "Maybe I just need a vacation or something." He left out the kidnapping, control chip and the rest of the story. "But you're right, we don't want Edi or the Normandy to get infested. I should go back down to New Omega and talk to our sister as well."

Dan kept his eyes on his other self.

"You don't have to hide what else has happened recently Kaidan - remember what I've been doing for a living for awhile now. I know everything that's happened here. Are you sure you're up to talking to her though?"

"To be quite honest, no. But it's part of my job and I can't say no and not talk to her when there's so much at stake, once again. Doctor Novak has healed her, with your help." Kaidan sighed. "I haven't even told her about our parents, they're alive and live in Vancouver," he smiled a little at Dan. "But now I just told you and maybe, if you feel like it, you want to come with me and visit them with me."

Dan laughed a little bit.

"I remember dad saying once that he always wanted twins."

Kaidan chuckled softly and nodded. "After this is over, I'm sure everyone of you needs a break and has to recharge their batteries too. Our house is big enough and Hawaii, well. It hasn't been hit as hard and we have a shuttle. We can visit our parents. After we have.. closed the portal, of course." Edi was still down there too, maybe she would go with him. Or even Legion.

Dan nodded again, still watching Kaidan.

"Are you sure you're up for this? You look a little... overwhelmed."

"Dan, who else would do it? Saya? No," Kaidan shook his head, "I won't let her go back down, there are too many bad memories for her. Jase? He's with Joker," Kaidan shrugged. "I, ah, have to get past this and we need to finish this mission, assignment, rescue mission." 

Dan raised an eyebrow but seemed to relax a bit.

"Alright, but do me a favor and be careful please."

"I know you probably will know everything as soon as it's been said down there, I'll let you know nevertheless," Kaidan smiled a bit, "and keep you up to date. Hilary, it's been nice seeing you again and Dan, you too. I'm looking forward to see you guys again and talk some more."

Saya yelped when she nearly ran into her husband as he came out of Dan's office quickly.

"Kaidan - are you alright?"

"I'm sorry!" Kaidan said right away, surprised to find her there and to make it better he hugged her. "I'm fine Saya, why do you ask?"

She hugged him back tightly.

"Edi said you might want to talk to me. That you seemed different somehow."

Kaidan sighed softly about this and confessed, "I forgot about Legion telling us it's a virus. I'm just.. exhausted and want to bring this to an end, for all of us."

Saya stepped back and put a gentle hand on his face.

"Believe it or not, Commander, you *are* allowed to forget things."

Once again he sighed softly but nodded. It was just an important fact he had forgotten about. If only he had more time right now for Saya. "The agent, the information Dan has reads as if we have gotten hold of another Kai Leng, Saya. I'm glad we got him locked up good. I have to go down now and talk to Elaine and then, maybe Hilary can help. She was not amused to hear about someone sabotaging her work."

Irimsaya gently lowered her hand from his face, shock in her eyes.

"Kai Leng? Kaidan please tell me you're joking about that. All he ever wanted was to kill me or Jase..."

Kaidan shook his head. "I'd never make a joke about this man. It seems like this assassin only wants you dead. Saya, even with him being guarded, I'm worried. I know you're not happy with having guards keeping you safe. But as long as I'm gone talking to Elaine, I don't know, could stay with Jase, please? It would help keeping my mind at ease."

She made a small face, but Saya sighed her consent.

"Yes, I'll stay with Jase in the med bay until you come back."

"I'm sorry, I'm just. Well, you know what I mean. I'll be back as soon as possible and report to you first." Kaidan leaned in, giving her a kiss. If only he was already back from Elaine. But he figured it was good to start over with her and get past the things she had done to him.

"Mmmm yes I know sweetie. Go on then so you can get back sooner." Saya grinned at him.

Kaidan chuckled softly and nodded. "Aye aye, ma'am. I'll be back soon," he whispered, and went down to Elaine.

 

Elaine was muttering in annoyance at her monitor when Kaidan finally found her.

Kaidan knocked at the wall next to the open door to announce his presence.

Elaine turned and saw him. She hesitated for a moment then motioned for him to enter.

"Can I help you, Commander? I'm kind of busy here."

Kaidan walked inside and decided not to waste any time to give her the bad news. "We have caught your agent and he gave us some disturbing news. He's successfully sabotaged the portal with a virus and it won't close on its own once the Reapers have arrived."

"What exactly do you think I'm working on right now? I found it myself... but I can't find any way to stop it."

Kaidan narrowed his eyes ever so slightly at her response. "If I were a Shepard I would probably tell you something like, hey, what about a bomb? Let's make it big and place it right in front of the portal and blow up the whole underground base. Or something like this." Kaidan knew he was being very snarky but he just couldn't help himself. "Legion and the Geth have offered us their assistance. Maybe they can help you with it."

"If we plant a bomb, Kaidan, then we risk destroying both universes - is that something you want?" Elaine turned back and looked at him again.

"No, of course not. I'm not your enemy, alright? I mean you messed me up and everything, including some extra strength that made me hurt my wife." 

Kaidan stared at her and then he sat down. 

"I don't think letting Edi, Legion or the Geth getting close to it is a good idea. Unless a Geth isolates itself from their network. If this thing spreads into our AI's, we'll have more severe problems than just facing Reaper forces coming through the poral. Is cutting the energy to it, or the whole base, not an option?"

Elaine shook her head no.

"It's getting power from a Reaper power source now remember? There's no way to disconnect it now that it's been connected."

Kaidan sighed and rubbed his head. "And destroying the core is not an option either? There has to be something we are overlooking, aside of cleaning the systems from the virus of course."

"We need something that could plug safely into it and not only wipe out the virus but also be strong enough to shut down that core."

Kaidan nodded and he knew what he was thinking of. Only Edi would be able to handle a task like this. "Edi could help us I think. I will have to check this with Saya and Jase at first, see if they agree with it."

"Well it's an idea and it's more than I have." Elaine replied.

Kaidan was watching her as if he was waiting for something else. He didn't know what else to say to her, didn't know if she still thought he was nothing more than someone she could use to have running errands or do what she thought he should.

"Maybe, once all of this over, we can start again and..," he shrugged, not really knowing what could happen.

"To be honest... I'd like another brother. I think it would be nice."

"It would be nice to have my sister back," Kaidan told her while looking into her eyes and stood up. He had left out that maybe his parents would like to have their lost daughter back too. But until then she had to prove herself.

"As soon as I have an answer I will let you know. Before I forget it, we finally caught your assassin. He nearly got Joker killed."

"Good, I'm glad you caught him. When I was in training to become the head of Cerberus he was in training to become their top assassin." Elaine paused and looked at Kaidan for a moment. "Which means if he got caught - then it's for a reason..."

Kaidan nodded at this. "Thank you for the warning." And then he left, going back to the Normandy.

Saya was trying to keep Jase distracted with a game of chess when she put a hand over her stomach.

"Mmmh.... don't think the little one liked the meal I ate..."

Jase knew he was going to lose this game because of the tiredness and worry. He glanced at Saya a little when she said this before looking at the chess game once again, only to put the one piece he was holding down. Jase went over to Saya and knelt down, face close to her stomach. "Baby, your mom and I had the same food. It was very good. Don't make her feel sick."

Irimsaya couldn't help herself, she started giggling a little bit before gently resting her hand on the top of Jase's head.

"Maybe you should get some sleep..."

Jase smiled and then he closed his eyes at the touch of her hand on his head. "Tried. I keep waking up thinking Jeff's awake." And he knew if he was feeling that tired and worn out, how much worse it would be for Saya.

"I told you I would keep an eye on him." Saya said while stifling a yawn. "Now before you get too silly - lie down and sleep. Consider that an order, Commander."

"Alright." Jase got up and looked down at her then, wanting to tell her that some sleep most likely wasn't going to fix it, that he needed time to think through a few things of what had happened in the past weeks. Including moving forward into the future he had with Jeff. Or how strange he must look to Dan, knowing he had changed a lot too. Or how Joker's friend had beaten up a young Jeff and that he was lying in this bed now in nearly the same condition as he had been in so many years ago. Jase rubbed his face and hid it for a while before he looked back at Saya.

"You are tired too. You're as worn out as I am, as we all are."

"Hey, I'm only here because I promised Kaidan that I'd stay near you until he came back. It was either you or guards. And I can't sleep on hospital beds anymore."

Jase nodded and sat down, watching her. Mind made up on sleeping later once Kaidan was back he picked up the piece and placed it down. "Your turn."

"Jase..." Irimsaya tried to protest but saw the determination in his eyes and sighed. "Alright but if you get sick you do know Jeff will blame me right?"

"Nah..." A sleep-filled voice said from the nearby bed, nearly too quiet to hear. "He's just... stubborn..."

The chess was forgotten, so was the tiredness as Jase quickly joined Jeff's bedside again. Hand stroking the hair he leaned down, looking into the green tired eyes filled with subtle pain and something else. Jase leaned down, giving his forehead a kiss.

"Jeff," Jase whispered, rubbing his cheek against his before he looked at him again, bent down once more and gave his nose a kiss.

Joker tried to smile but it was hard.

"Hey...handsome..."

"Hey tiger," Jase replied, smiling at the 'handsome' comment and gave his head another kiss. "How are you feeling."

"Oh...like every bone in my body is broken..."

Jase nodded and whispered back. "Most of them are. Doc and," he paused, but said it anyway then, "Captain Alenko did what they could for you." Jase caressed Jeff's right eyebrow with his thumb, looking into his eyes. "I won't go back down. I'll stay here, at your side."

"Mmmh.... you might not want to... I can be pretty ornery when I'm hurting...."

Jase just shook his head. "Hey. In good times and in bad times. I meant that. I won't leave you alone in this." Jase closed his eyes, knowing he'd bring him home. Preferably soon. Like, this week. Or tomorrow. Jase wasn't sure what the next weeks would bring, but he figured Jeff needed his help with body care, clothes, food, entertainment.

"You're the best..." Joker mumbled, feeling sleepy again.

"That's because I love you," Jase gave him another kiss. "Get some more sleep. I'll be here."

"Hmmmm 'kay..." Joker mumbled then start snoring lightly again.

Jase just grinned a little at the sound and looked at Saya. Then a sigh escaped him, but one of the good kind.

"*Now* will you sleep, my brother?" Saya smiled at him.

Jase nodded at her and went to the other bed. "I will. I will."

Irimsaya watched him, the smile still on her face. She knew all he'd needed was to hear Jeff's voice.

Jase hit the bed and was soon asleep again, before he could even think about anything else.

 

Kaidan entered the med-bay several minutes later. He walked up to her, glad to be a room which wasn't overfilled with refugees.

Getting up from her chair, Saya went to her husband and hugged him gently.

"Joker woke up for a minute."

Kaidan gave her a kiss. "Good news then," he whispered. "I spoke with Elaine. She needs someone who can plug safely into the network to fight the virus. I think there's only one option. We need the help of our AI friends."

Saya watched him for a minute.

"You want Edi."

"Yes," Kaidan nodded. "Elaine is unable to stop it and destroying it isn't an option either. She said placing a bomb and detonating it results in the destruction of both realities. And when you think about it, their reality had no real contact to AIs as we have it. They don't have Edi and only had Legion at their side. We should use this to our advantage."

Saya scratched her head then nodded slowly.

"If you can guarantee me that Edi won't be harmed."

"I can't guarantee it Saya. We can't force them to do this either. After everything they did for us and have been through, I think we need to ask them for help and not order them to do it. I'm sure Edi can decide if it's something she can or can't do."

With a sigh, Saya backed away a bit.

"Alright, let's go have a chat with her." She said as she stifled a yawn.

"You're tired," he laid his arm around her shoulder. Somehow everyone of them seemed to be worn out now.

"I'm pregnant." She grinned up at him and leaned into his embrace. "Of course I'm tired."

Kaidan chuckled softly and rubbed her arm. "Mmh. I'm pregnant too, but with you." 

Irimsaya giggled at that and quickly covered her mouth.

"We should leave the med bay before we wake those two up..."

Kaidan nodded and led her outside. "Edi's body is still down at New Omega, where do you want to discuss it with her? We might want to include Legion as well."

"Let's go down there then - well as long as you think it's safe enough for me to travel down there."

"It should be. It's extremely crowded though, many people are still coming over."

"Alright then what would you suggest Kaidan?"

"I'm thinking of the war room Saya and inviting Legion as he's promised us their help." Kaidan told her while walking with her. "Maybe invite Hilary and Dan as well. They might be able to add some extra knowledge and Hilary has been working on it with Dan for years. Which reminds me of something else, I _think_ there's something going on between Hilary and Dan."

"Really?" Saya tried to hide her grin but failed. "Good."

Kaidan caught her and wrapped his arms around her once again. "Yes, I know myself."

Saya yelped and laughed as he brought her against him.

"I would hope so!"

Kaidan grinned and looked around, they were alone and no one was close. Taking the chance and the minute of time they had, Kaidan kissed her.

Saya giggled again and kissed him back.

"You're being very daring today."

Kaidan gave her his best grin. "Yes and if we had more time I'd carry you upstairs," he whispered. "Maybe I can still do it later." They just had to fix the portal first.

She slapped his shoulder gently.

"Come on let's get this over with."

"Aye aye, ma'am," Kaidan nodded and went with her.

Saya gave him an amused yet dirty look.

"What have I told you about calling me 'ma'am'?"

Kaidan just chuckled softly and didn't really comment. Aside of giving her another grin.

"Hmmm... you're feisty today." Saya shook her head a bit with her own smile then went into the war room with him.

Kaidan smiled and went to his place, trying to focus on the upcoming task. But his thoughts returned to the time in her last pregnancy when the urges hit her bad. Maybe this time he'd be able to handle it with more ease. If anything, he knew he felt more at ease and relaxed about her having another baby. Which made him think of their twins once again and how much he missed them. It was high time they'd go back home to their babies. 

With a smile he nodded at the people joining them, Legion, Dan and Hilary. Not even a second later Edi's voice interrupted his thoughts about going home as they began discussing how to deal with the virus.


	20. Friends and Friends

Kaidan looked at his wife as if she'd grown another head. 

"I know it worked before and Jase was able to exit it without any problems, but what about our baby? Are Edi and Arlen really sure it won't harm anyone of you? I mean entering the Geth network was one thing but this is an infected computer program and it's running the portal at the same time."

Saya put a gentle hand on her husband's arm and smiled.

"We'll be fine Kaidan, I promise. You know I would never do anything to put our child at risk. And I know Edi and Legion won't let anything happen to me."

Slowly Kaidan nodded, knowing she wouldn't. "If the Doctor could stay close to you, it would put my mind at ease."

"Well he can't come in with me - I don't think. But if he's willing to leave Joker then... yes. I'll permit it."

"It would make me feel more comfortable knowing he'll be watching your stats, including our baby."

"Like I said - if we can pry him away from Joker then I won't say no."

"Okay," Kaidan nodded at his wife and took her into his arms for a minute.  
  


Half an hour later Arlen joined up with them, chatting with Edi over his comm.

"Yes, yes. And as long as you can keep an eye... erm, your sensors of course, on him and it won't interfere with your cleansing of the virus he'll be fine, I'll be fine and everyone else. Am I correct?" Arlen suppressed a sigh, hoping no one else would get hurt as it sounded dangerous. A part of him was hoping some day he'd get the chance to join such a network and see what it would look like inside. Or how synthetics saw themselves.

Saya glanced at Arlen. "Everything will be fine, I promise."

Arlen turned to look at his Captain, thinking somehow he should say this too and Edi had basically told him the same. "Yes Captain. I suppose.. I'm sorry, of course you're right."

"Relax Arlen, you look like a nervous wreck." Saya tried to smile reassuringly at him.

Arlen relaxed right away when he saw the smile and chuckled softly, knowing she was right. He was nervous.

Saya put her hand on his shoulder.

"You're great at what you do, Doc, take solace in that."

"Thank you, Captain," Arlen replied, feeling even more at ease now. "And.. I will keep you and your baby safe."

"I know you will Arlen - I trust you." Saya grinned. "Besides, if you didn't I'm sure Kaidan would have something to say about it." She giggled.

Arlen just looked from her to the Commander and back with a blank look on his face.

Kaidan touched Saya's arm gently and tried not to laugh nor to say he agreed with her. Instead he opted for a neutral, "I think we should get started." Kaidan was sure she had just spooked their Doctor. And really good.

Biting her lip, Saya nodded and walked with the men to the room where Legion and Edi were working on the connection she would use.

Upon entering the room Legion turned around, acknowledging the presence of the Captain and the others.

"Shepard-Captain, the device is functional. You may enter it."

Kaidan frowned a little, watching his wife and was wondering once again why Saya had to enter it too. But he knew why, helping Edi and helping all of them. "You're really going to do this," Kaidan just said to Saya, giving her a nod.

Saya turned to her husband and kissed him soundly, not caring who saw or what they thought.

"I'll come back to you - that's a promise."

"You better do," Kaidan whispered, "I'm here, waiting for you."

Arlen looked over at Edi. She was going to work on it too, yet from the inside. He was trying to understand it and what she would do, aside of hacking into it, distracting it and beginning to search for the virus with the Captain's help. And of course disabling it. Arlen stood closer to Edi and laid his hand onto her's. "Be safe."

Edi looked at him and smiled.

"I will be safe, do not worry." She frowned then nodded a bit. "I will come back." Edi repeated the Captain's own words feeling it was the right phrase.

Arlen wanted to kiss her but instead he looked down a little bit, giving her a shy smile and a nod.

Edi cocked her head at him, watching him.

"Will you not.. kiss me goodbye?"

Everyone appeared to be busy somehow and Arlen quickly leaned in, giving her a soft and gentle kiss. "I would have liked to see you in your real world," he said with a quiet voice.

Smiling a bit, Edi took his hand in hers.

"Would you like that? There is an extra link if you wish to come..."

Of course he wanted to and Arlen wanted to nod and say yes, please. But there was the Captain and a job to be done first. "I.. yes. But my job comes first and I need to be there for the Captain. Would it be possible to do this after .. work?"

"It will be possible whenever you ask for it." Edi responded.

Arlen nodded and gave her another gentle smile. "I would like to meet you in your world after work." He knew this sounded like a date now and maybe this was exactly what it was.

"It is something I look forward to." Edi was smiling broadly now.

Arlen nodded, smiled and squeezed her hand before he walked back to his Captain, ready to monitor her.

Kaidan kept his eyes on Saya the whole time while she was getting ready to enter the program's world.

"I love you Kaidan." Saya whispered as Legion closed the chamber she was to use. Her eyes closed of their own accord and when she woke she had no idea where she was.  
  


Outside, Kaidan stood at the side, watching his wife's face and nothing seemed to indicate that something was disturbing her. If anything, Kaidan thought she looked like peacefully asleep.

Kaidan looked at Arlen when their young doctor came over to him and checked her over.

"All seems to be fine, Commander. Nothing to report." Arlen told him and hoped it would stay like this. 

"Thanks Arlen," Kaidan replied softly.  
  


"Shepard-Captain," Legion appeared out of nowhere next to Saya, "I have created a world to suit your needs. Legion modeled a world similar to this for Shepard-Commander. Both found it most efficient. It was less confusing for Shepard-Commander."

"This is... remarkable Legion." Saya said as she looked around. "So this is a construct... just something to help me visualize what your minds look like...?"

"Yes," Legion answered, knowing once Edi had gained access it would help Saya to analyze the program's core and find any anomalies in it. "Acknowledged. Shepard-Captain, Edi has gained access to the program's core. You may proceed."

"Okay..." Saya hesitated, not quite sure what to do, but she started walking.

Legion disappeared behind her and the world around Saya began changing into orange lines and hubs, pulsating past her while data was being transfered.

Looking around as she walked, Saya found herself fascinated by everything. Even the tiniest pulse caught her eye.

For several seconds nothing more seemed to happen. Until the pulsating began to increase, rushing past Saya faster and faster into the hub. Which began to glow. When the pulsating appeared to have reached its peak, leaving only glowing lines the hub began to glow brightly and eventually exploded into orange light.

After this everything seemed to be the way it was before.

"Shepard-Captain," Legion's voice came from somewhere around her, "the portal has been activated. Edi has gained full access."  
  


Outside Arlen noted the slight increase of his Captain's blood pressure, together with some more added adrenalin. Glancing at Edi he wondered if they could talk to their Captain. "Edi can the Captain hear us in there? Or are only you and our geth friend able to communicate with her?"

Kaidan glanced at them each before he returned to study his wife's face.

"I can communicate to her anything you wish to say Arlen. And it can work both ways, if she has something to inform you of. Is there a message you wish me to convene?" Edi asked, watching Arlen.

"I.. oh.. um. No, right now no. I just wanted to know if she can, or if we can." Arlen scratched his neck a little. "Maybe let her know everything is fine with her."

"I will pass the message along, Arlen." Edi went silent as she continued monitoring the other realm.  
  


Saya walked some more.

"Where should I go Legion?"

"You may move forward," Legion told her, then he received the message from Arlen and passed it on to her. "Shepard-Captain, Arlen Novak wishes to let you know everything is... alright." Legion more or less used Edi's words for this.

Suddenly a little green dot swirled past Saya and vanished.

"What was that? Legion did you see that??" Saya turned, looking for it again.

Before Legion could reply the dot swirled past her again, but this time it looked like it was bouncing up and down.

"Affirmative, it is the virus."

Irimsaya knelt down in front of it, watching it.

"Legion... why do I feel like it's trying to say something to me?"

There was some silence as Legion didn't answer right away. The little green dot kept bouncing around and even began playing with Saya's hand, rushing back and forth.

"It is a young artificial intelligence," Legion confessed.  
  


In the real world Saya's heart began beating faster.

Arlen looked up at his Captain and didn't say anything just yet, monitoring her even more carefully.  
  


Meanwhile inside, "Legion are you saying this is a baby???"

"Yes," came the simple reply from the geth. "We were unsure on how to proceed. It is.. harmless." And yet it was a virus, but Legion didn't say this, aside of the instinct to protect the young AI.

"Legion..." Saya was actually speechless as she watched the dot play with her hand. "Is _this_ the virus?"

"Yes," Legion said again and appeared next to her.

Saya looked up at him, shock in her eyes.

"Why didn't you tell us? Tell me? Legion... I don't care what species - I would *never* allow a 'baby' to be harmed."

"Its programming forces it to keep the portal open," Legion pointed out the most pressing matter, but continued with something else. "It has begun to be aware of itself. It is curious and wishes to learn. Granting access to the geth network poses the danger of overwhelming it." Legion tried to explain it with words organics would understand. "The geth have been growing slowly but constantly. The Reaper's influences and upgrades were unwanted but willingly taken. Legion's sacrifice," Legion paused to consider the correct word to use, "has given us individuality."

"Can you communicate with it at all? Without opening it up to the geth network?" Saya asked him. "Or could Edi?"

Legion studied the green dot, how it was bouncing around the Captain's hand, moved on to her feet and drew circles there. Then it stood still for a few seconds before returning to another spot, standing there still again as if watching them. Legion knew from Edi and her wish. "Edi wishes to care for this young AI."

"Then that's what we do." Saya smiled gently at the dot. "But *can* we communicate with it? Without introducing it to the geth network?"

A moment of silence passed and then Legion turned to look at the Captain. "Yes, through Edi."

"Good." She found herself smiling. "Then we need to convince it to help us close the portal."

Legion kind of nodded. "Edi wishes to thank you. The geth second this sentiment."

"You're all welcome, Legion. Life should be nurtured - no matter what kind it is."

"You may now exit this world, Shepard-Captain."

Irimsaya paused after standing up as the dot started swirling around her more.

"Why do I feel like it doesn't want me to go?"

"It appears to be lonely," Legion stated while preparing the exit for her.

"Then we need to show it that it will never be alone again, Legion."

The exit was ready and Legion waited for her to use it. "The geth have reached consensus. We are willing to build a platform for it to be used."

"Then we do that. Thank you for bringing me here, Legion." Saya smiled then went through the doorway.  
  


Kaidan looked back at Saya when he heard something. "She's waking up."

Saya slowly opened her eyes, feeling as if she were coming out of a deep sleep.

Arlen's omni-tool disappeared and he gave a nod, "The Captain is fine."

"Saya? How are you feeling?" Kaidan asked, holding out his hand for her to take it.

She gladly took Kaidan's proffered hand as she stepped out of the connection.

"Tired... very tired..."

Arlen was watching her, curious to hear what it had been like in there. 

Kaidan nodded at this, figuring if he had gone into it he would have come out with a nasty migraine. "Is there anything you need me to do before you go and have a nap?"

"Well... it seems we've had a baby left on our doorstep, so to speak. That 'virus' is a baby AI."

Kaidan looked surprised while Arlen gaped at her and looked over at Edi.

"A baby AI? How is this possible? Wouldn't it have tried to communicate with us?"

"I don't think it knew how to talk to us. Now Edi will guide it and the geth are building it a platform."

Kaidan nodded once again. "Will this help us to close the portal? I thought there was no other way than to destroy it."

"If it listens to Edi... maybe there *is* another option."

"If it doesn't? We'll use the original plan," Kaidan sighed softly, watching Legion slowly walk by towards wherever their geth friend was going. But part of him was hoping the baby AI would listen.

"Let's hope it does. I won't destroy a life if I can save it." Saya responded quietly.

"I agree with you. I'm just surprised about this turn in events."

"You're not the only one..." Saya went quiet for a minute. "I think it likes me."

Kaidan chuckled softly at this. "Anyone who doesn't like you isn't right in their mind. Of course I'm just.. prejudiced."

Saya giggled softly.

"Well... you *do* keep placing orders...." She rubbed her stomach with a grin.

Kaidan smiled at her and laid his hand over hers. "Yes. And you're accepting them willingly," he teased her gently.

"Hmmm yes well when can I ever say no to you?"

"Then I'm sure you'll agree to have some private time with me later tonight." Kaidan rubbed his head then a little, thinking of finally leaving this planet and going back home.

"Mmmm I like that thought." Saya put her hand on his cheek for a second then looked at Arlen. "You okay Doc?"

"Uhm, yes ma'am, I'm fine thank you," he rattled off, feeling embarrassed having been caught looking at them.

"Arlen - what's on your mind?" Saya's smile was kind. "You can talk to us about anything."

Arlen stole a glance towards Edi and then another quick one at the device the Captain had been using before. Then he looked back at his Captain, trying several times to voice his question. Instead of explaining it at length and everything else, he just quickly asked then, "Permission to use the device?" Arlen inhaled and quickly added, "for private reasons, ma'am."

A slow smile spread across Saya's face as she realized his intent.

"Say hi to Edi for me." She grabbed Kaidan's hand and dragged him from the room.

Arlen just looked after them, totally surprised by this. "Okay. Uhm, I'll say hi." He quickly turned around and walked over to where Edi was.

"Edi?"

Edi's eyes moved towards him.

"Yes Arlen?"

"Am I.. disturbing you?" Arlen asked, wondering if he'd managed to ask her at the wrong time.

"Of course not. What do you need?" She smiled at him.

Arlen grinned back at her then. "I have permission to use the device. We could... go on our, well.. date."

"I would like that very much indeed." Edi answered. "I will help you get set up." She moved to him.

To say that he was nervous was an understatement. That the Captain was doing anything like this willingly was, to him, something normal. After all she was a N7. As a doctor he knew she hadn't been harmed.

"Thank you. I wouldn't really know how to do it right. Not right now anyway," he laughed softly. Maybe later, if he still had access to this, he could go in and out as he wanted to.

"If you like the experience, I may request of the Captain to make this connection permanent. If... you would like me to."

Arlen nodded and inhaled deeply as he stepped into the narrow space. "It feels.. well, comfortable in here."

"I am glad you are comfortable." Edi said as she gently hooked him up. "This may feel.... strange."

"Okay," Arlen inhaled deeply once again to relax and closed his eyes then. "Ready," he whispered.

Edi closed her eyes and connected herself to him, putting them in a realm she thought he might be comfortable in.  
  


Arlen felt a little bit dizzy when he woke up in there. But the feeling was soon forgotten when he looked around. He found himself sitting on green grass in the mountains somewhere, with a cabin behind him and an incredible view in front of him. This wasn't what he had been expecting but Arlen thought this area, even if it was only an illusion, was incredible.

"Wow... this is... is this real? Edi? Are you here too?"

A young woman stood before him, blonde hair and blue eyes and yet still the same figure and hairstyle.

"I am here, Arlen."

Arlen looked up at her and got onto his feet. "Edi?" he just said and stood close to her. "This is the real you? You are... Beautiful."

"This is... how I wish I looked. How I wish I could make my body appear. I thank you for your compliment though Arlen. Your opinion means a great deal to me."

"You want to be human," Arlen whispered. "Edi, you're more human than you think you are. I know you're an AI, but Edi," Arlen laid his arms around her to hold her close. "It doesn't matter to me. Male or female, organic or synthetic, brown or blonde hair, green or blue eyes." Arlen shook his head before he rested his forehead at hers. "I love you for who you are. You're perfect," he breathed out and chuckled softly, more at himself though. He felt so incredibly at ease and comfortable in here, unlike anything else he had experienced before. No awkwardness, no fears, no pretending. It was very different and yet he felt... free.

Edi blinked fast then held him close to her.

"I am... happy. Happy that you believe me to be perfect. I only wish I was. I wish I was more for you. You deserve more than just a synthetic body. And I find myself craving your happiness more than anything else."

Arlen nodded and held her close with his eyes closed. He began to understand that in here, his thoughts were more like his voice. What he was thinking was being said.

"I.. I feel.. honored you think this way. I'm beginning to understand, it's more like a feeling though but I'm... beginning to understand. I'd like to become more perfect like you, achieve a higher precision. I want to understand your being and what you are and at the moment of thinking I know you are more than just what we see. You are complex, intelligent, caring, witty, you can love and you feel and of course you want to experience what it is like to feel with a real skin and what it means to touch. When our nerve endings are being stimulated and our brain processes it and we react..."

"Is such a thing possible though Arlen? Could I look out there like I do in here? Do you believe that it could happen? Because I do not like looking... shiny."

Arlen had no idea if it was possible to do something like this. "People who've suffered terrible burns are being helped with transplants and other modern treatment. However I'm unsure if it's possible to create a skin for your body, because no one has tried it yet. There was no... need." Arlen smiled a little. "But now there is need and... I'll try hard to help you." Arlen moved and his hands framed Edi's hair gently. 

"And until I have found something, and I'm sure there's someone somewhere in this galaxy who'd be willing to help me, or us. Until then.... we have this.. in here.. where I can... Where I feel safe and feel you, where I can safely explore my desire for you." 

Arlen gently moved her a little, as if to dance. But his dancing skills were terrible at best. Yet in here no one was there to see anything of the clumsiness.

Edi moved her head and kissed him deeply.

"And I can experience things... the way I wish I could in the other world."

Everything felt very real and Arlen smiled. "And I feel... at ease and I'd like to explore more of this with you." Arlen found he enjoyed it immensely being able to touch her neck gently and move her hair without having to fear his hands were getting hurt. "Would you like to join me in the cabin you created?" Arlen whispered to her.

Edi found herself experiencing something she never thought possible. Desire.

"I have made every effort for it to be comfortable... so yes... I would like that very much indeed.

Arlen nodded and led her inside, somehow not caring anymore that he had no experience in this matter at all. Whatever was going to happen would happen and what would not happen wasn't of any worry to him.

After the next round of kissing Arlen thought of one wish though. "Edi," he whispered, already having found another spot to kiss her, "I have a plea. Please show me your true self for a few seconds. I would like to see _You_."

"Are you certain of this wish? I do not want you to be... afraid." Edi bit her lip and watched him.

Arlen nodded, "Yes. I am absolutely certain, about 100% certain and more."

Edi slowly backed away from him, looking uncertain.

"As you wish..."

Slowly the human body dissolved into a brightly glowing light blue form.

"Wow...," Arlen just said and moved towards it. Towards Edi and was totally mesmerized by it. He reached out to touch her being. "I.. I don't know what to say. This.. no. _You_ are remarkable.. beautiful, intriguing."

"Thank you Arlen." The blue form flashed when Edi spoke.

Arlen found anything they were doing in here was so much better than everything he had done, or tried to do before he had met Edi or even thought of them being something more than just friends. He tried to touch her for real this time. "You are so complex and yet there is no chaos. Pure and perfect."

"Again... thank you. But no one is perfect." She moved back from his hand and melded herself back into the human form she envisioned for herself.

Arlen followed her and took her hand once she was back in her chosen form. "I.. am honored to have seen you for real. Thank you for.. for allowing me into your world." As inexperienced he was, Arlen had no problems with it at all, trusting himself and Edi to do what they felt was right.

"You are the first organic to enter it, Arlen. And I want it to remain that way." Her voice was soft as she caressed his face.

Arlen closed his eyes and leaned into her touch, hoping for a lot more than just kissing now. Which surprised him for a moment as he never had any desire for more physical contact. But with Edi and in here, it felt very different and safe.

"I'll protect you and keep you safe Edi," he said softly, knowing he wouldn't let anyone get that close to her unless Edi allowed it herself.

Edi stroked his face then met his eyes.

"I wish to... to take this further with you but I do not know how to proceed..."

Arlen turned his face to place a kiss into her open palm. "I uh... am the same," he chuckled softly and kissed her open palm some more. "How about we do what we feel alright with and let our instinct decide what to do?" 

For a moment, as he took her wrist into his hand and felt for a pulse, he thought he should feel nothing. But there it was, gently beating away and it surprised him in a positive way. "I will be fine with you, we will be fine. Because I trust you."

"And I trust you Arlen - implicitly."

Arlen smiled and moved to kiss her arm starting from her wrist up to her shoulder before he kissed Edi deeply again. What he experienced then was mind blowing and full of new sensations and feelings Arlen didn't even know he was able to feel.  
  


Edi laid on the bed next to Arlen, a smile curling her lips as she gently traced his chest with her finger.

"That was.... the most incredible experience I have ever had."

Arlen grinned and moved a little bit more closer to her. "I can honestly second this. I didn't expect it to feel so good and fulfilling." He was watching her fingers and laid his hand over hers. "You really seem to like my chest, don't you?"

Edi looked at him almost shyly.

"I have never before 'touched' an organic like this. Each sensation is remarkable."

Arlen nodded and gave her face another soft kiss. Somehow he thought she had had something with Samantha Traynor, but apparently that hadn't been as deep as it was with him. "I have to agree with you, the sensations I have experienced with you are unlike anything I have ever felt before."

Edi closed her eyes and sighed softly.

"I wish this did not have to end."

"Can we do this again? Do we need this … special equipment?" Arlen asked, wondering also aloud. Going to their special dates and being really just for themselves was a blessing. With a yawn, Arlen rubbed his eyes, feeling too good to leave their little place now.

"We will need this equipment yes. I will make sure to ask the Captain if we can keep it and explain the circumstances. I do not think I have ever seen you so relaxed."

"No, yes. It would be incredibly nice to keep it and go here whenever we want to. Just to relax and maybe play the flute or read or whatever else we would like to do." Arlen chuckled softly. "You are right however, I haven't felt so relaxed... in years. I don't think I ever felt this way before. At least not since.. well. Since Mindoir."

"No one shall ever harm you while I am with you. You have my word."

Arlen smiled and rolled around to her. "I, uh.. know. I thank you for this. We need to go now, do we. I don't even know for how long we've been in here, together and alone."

"Time is different in here than in your world. In the other world it has only been around 20 minutes."

"Oh. Okay, this is, uhm, practical then," Arlen chuckled softly. "But it does feel like we have spent about two hours in this.. well, realm."

"Then you really did enjoy yourself. I am very happy to hear this."

Arlen's hand brushed aside her hair and he marveled at how nice it felt to do this. "Edi, every time I was able to spend time with you was enjoyable. I feel at ease with you, more so in here. Spending time with you means... happiness."

Edi leaned into his touch with a small sigh.

"I wish so much I could experience this sensation outside of here."

"I will do my best and work on a solution for you," Arlen whispered sleepily, giving her another kiss.  
  


Edi gently unhooked Arlen from the interface.

"Arlen?"

Arlen was utterly confused. A few seconds ago he was with Edi giving her a kiss and now he was peeling his eyes open and felt... He didn't know what exactly but the hard cut made his head swim.

"Edi?" he more or less whispered and gave her a gentle smile. Arlen slowly became aware of his body feeling sweaty, he was in terrible need of a shower too. As soon as he stepped out of the device his knees hit the floor. Arlen closed his eyes and waited for the room to stop moving around.

Edi gently put her hands on him and helped him up to stand steady.

"Where would you like me to take you Arlen?"

He laid his arm around Edi, feeling very grateful for her support. If it hadn't been for her Arlen was sure he'd have kissed the floor a second time. How had the Captain dealt with this so easily? She'd just come out and was fine enough to leave with her husband. For a moment, Arlen nearly fell asleep on his feet.

"I... uh.. need to get cleaned up."

"Come, I will take you to the showers." Edi supported him as they walked.

While they walked, Arlen realized just how easy it had felt in there to say what he was thinking. Out here it felt a lot more difficult.

"Why's this affecting me so differently from the Captain, she just walked out as if having gone for a walk." Arlen whispered.

"Captain Shepard is a soldier. An N7. She is trained to handle hard situations. You are a Doctor. You are trained to help people through the situations, not be a part of them." Edi said, trying hard to explain.

Arlen nodded, grinning a bit. As an Infiltrator himself he knew she was right. Only having to take someone down if he had no other choice instead of having to shoot his way through, using his skill to get to people in need without being held off had always been highly satisfying.

When Arlen entered the shower room he turned to face Edi. His eye lids felt heavy and he had trouble keeping them open. He slowly began undressing. "Edi, can you stay?"

"I think it would be best if I did, Arlen. I do not want you falling asleep in the shower and hurting yourself."

Arlen chuckled softly and removed the rest of his clothes. "This might just happen. Are you in danger in here with the water?"

"This body is designed to handle any environment, do not concern yourself. I will be fine." She couldn't help but stare at his chest.

The tips of Arlen's ears were burning red as this whole situation was new to him. When he realized Edi was looking at him again Arlen looked down at himself and ran a hand across his chest. "If you.. would like to touch it.. me .. you can. I don't mind."

Edi looked away.

"It would not feel the same to you as it did in the other realm. It would be cold and hard." She was surprised to note that her voice sounded sad.

Arlen looked sad at this too. "Edi, you have been touching me before. I even slept in your arms for a whole night. I wouldn't have been able to sleep if it was as hard and as cold as you make it sound." 

Arlen turned around and switched on the water, groaning softly when the hot water hit his body. When he rested his head against the wall he nearly fell asleep while thinking of Edi. Having sex with her 'shiny' body, as Edi seemed to call it, was icky to him. But what they had done in Edi's world had been incredible. Only his pants had suffered of course, including sweaty clothes and the tiredness, but it had been more than worth it.

Edi watched him, not wanting to disturb him. She was calculating several alternatives that could be used to help him cope with another venture into her world.

When Arlen took the soap and began washing, he knew Edi never had the need to wash her body before. Okay maybe the engineers had washed her other body, the Normandy. The thought caused a frown on his face. If Edi was the Normandy too and his standing here in the shower, soaping up and the soap hitting the wall or the floor would also mean Edi was getting soaped up. Which was.. weird. Arlen frowned and turned around to look at her.

"Edi? When someone takes a shower and the walls become all wet and the soap's hitting the floor... do you feel all of this?" A tiny voice in his mind warned Arlen to not become too silly as he was too tired.

Edi smiled at that.

"I _feel_ everything that happens on the ship... but I tend to turn off the sensors in these rooms."

Arlen nodded slowly, turned off the water and then he just walked over to her and took her hand, squeezed it a bit and laid it onto his chest. "It doesn't feel hard and cold Edi."

"You are tired Arlen. Come, get some rest." Edi was a bit taken aback by what he had said.

Arlen still held her hand and caressed it gently with his eyes closed. Then he nodded. "Yes, I'm tired and … I want to sleep close to you. I'll rest in the server room," he said with a yawn and put on a robe.

"Allow me, Arlen." And with that, Edi stooped down and picked him up on her arms then carried him to the server room and the cot that was still there.

Arlen looked surprised, Edi and being able to carry him was new. For a moment he was just glad he had quickly thrown on a robe. 

"My... dirty clothes... my patient.. need to check on him," he mumbled when Edi placed him on his cot, fighting hard to stay awake.

"I will take care of your clothes and Joker is resting comfortably at the moment. I am monitoring him closely, do not worry." Edi gently covered him with a blanket. "Sleep."

Arlen nodded his thanks and yawned then, drifting off to sleep. But before he really fell asleep he managed to mutter something important. "Edi? I love you."

Edi touched Arlen's face gently and sighed happily. Silently she watched him sleep, enjoying the sight of him being so comfortable in her presence.


	21. Countdown

After having woken up from something, Jase rubbed his eyes and was watching Jeff sleeping while gently caressing his hair. Everything seemed quiet and he knew it wasn't like this though, considering how busy the portal must be right now with only a few hours of running time left. If the Reapers wouldn't arrive any sooner. 

The stomach erupted in a low rumble and he quietly left to get himself something to eat and brought another sandwich along for Jeff. In case. With a sigh he sat down and ate his before Jase decided to hit the comm to get Saya.

Stifling a yawn, Saya answered her comm.

"Captain Shepard-Alenko here, go ahead."

"Hey sis," Jase said softly, "sorry I woke you."

"It's okay... are you alright? Is Jeff okay??" She knew worry coloured her tone but it couldn't be helped.

"I'm fine, thanks. Jeff's still asleep." Jase was quiet then for a little while. Then he sighed, knowing he could have lost him. "How are you?" 

"Tired, worried...maybe a bit on edge. I went into Legion's 'world' if you can call it that."

Jase nodded, thinking about this for a bit before he answered. "Legion's world. What happened?"

"Well... it was definitely an interesting experience. We found a baby AI."

Jase looked surprised at this. "A baby AI. How advanced is it?"

"I'd say fairly from what I saw. Legion said it's lonely. So the geth are building it a platform and I think Edi is trying to help it figure out how to close the portal."

"Alright," Jase nodded, figuring they were getting a geth like AI then. "The sooner the portal's getting closed on time the better. We don't need another Reaper invasion."

"Agreed. Wholeheartedly agreed. How's Jeff doing?"

Jase was looking at his husband pondering what he was going to answer. "Still asleep. I called home and asked them to install a lift. There's no way he can do stairs...," Jase trailed off, staying silent on the comm for a while. "Sorry. This really has hit home."

"I'm sorry too Jase." Saya went quiet. "It was me who was supposed to be on that shuttle."

"What?" Jase said softly, but it was clear he was upset about this news. 

"I don't want to do this over a comm... can I come and talk to you?"

"Yeah, sure," Jase agreed quickly.

Saya turned off her comm and slipped back into her uniform. After leaving a note for Kaidan so he wouldn't worry, she headed down to the med bay and Jase.

As soon as Saya entered the med bay Jase went to her and gave her a hug. Actions spoke louder than any words, he figured.

Saya was definitely surprised. She gently returned the hug, glad it hadn't been a slap in the face.

"What.. you look surprised," he said softly and returned to sit at Jeff's side. "What happened?"

"Why didn't I board the shuttle? I ended up being needed elsewhere and Joker said he was bored and asked if he could go in my place. I said sure."

Jase nodded slowly at these news. It at least meant Jeff hadn't done a mistake, only using his break to fly more survivors as Jase thought. "It's not your fault. None of you, us, could have known."

Relief flooded Saya's face and mind.

"You are an amazing man Jase Shepard."

"You thought I'd blame you for what happened?" Jase asked, a bit baffled and moved his hand under Jeff's, caressing the finger tips carefully.

"Honestly? I'm surprised nobody is. If that man hadn't been trying to kill me..."

"What then? He wouldn't have been here." Jase said softly while watching her and wondering what she was thinking about.

Irimsaya just shook her head slightly.

"Don't worry about it. Just.. get him better."

Jase just kept looking at her. "The assassin is Elaine's fault, or Cerberus' fault. Maybe mine, apparently I pissed her off bad enough. Not yours. No one of you in this world is at fault Saya. None of you."

She looked at him and put a smile on her face.

"Thanks Jase."

Jase nodded and gave her a grin before he asked, "So, the baby AI. What's your take on it."

"I'm thinking it could be a valuable asset if we can teach it and help it."

"Yeah," Jase nodded slowly, thinking back a few years. "If it learns. Edi's remarkable. Never expected her to be the crazed AI we shut down on Luna." Jase was watching his sister and added, "Waking up and being attacked can't have been easy."

"It was not, Commander Shepard. I did not wish harm to any who were there but I was forced to protect myself." Edi's voice came into the room.

"Yeah, can't really blame you there Edi. Would have been nice to walk in though and just exchange pleasantries with you," Jase grinned, knowing if he had woken up somewhere strange and people were attacking him he would have defended himself too. At least to some extend. After all he hadn't attacked the Normandy crew after waking up in this world. "Edi, I'll be blunt. Any dangers we have to expect from the baby AI if it's allowed to grow and learn? Sorry."

"I cannot say for certain Commander. I will not know until it learns to communicate with us."

Jase nodded. "Alright. I trust you Edi."

"I am glad. Thank you, Commander."

"You're welcome Edi," Jase replied and was watching his sister once again. "A bit more than a day and we're done here." And then, if they were lucky, they could go home, Jase thought as he was watching Jeff's sleeping form and face. "I thought I was tired after we defeated the Reapers. It was nothing compared to what it feels like now. How are you really doing?" Jase looked back at Saya, still worrying about her with everything that had happened.

She held up a finger.

"Only if you promise not to tell Kaidan."

"Got it. You're just telling your... self," Jase smiled a little at her.

"I don't sleep Jase. I fake it for him, but every time I close my eyes I can feel Udina's hands all over me. And I'm scared that if I open my eyes... I will be back there."

"That's not good," Jase whispered and looked thoughtful then. "You'll never be back there." 

Jase knew he could tell her a lot more, like asking how he could help, or telling her he wishes he could do something to help or make it undone, or even going as far as suggesting talking to someone professional. Considering how long it had taken him to accept Kelly's help, he knew it would take a lot for her.

"I have said it before," Jase said softly, "I know it's not much, but if there's anything I can do..." And yet he felt helpless, unable to fix it.

"Jase... I wish there was. But even Kaidan's arms around me can't fend off those nightmares."

"Yeah," he said softly. "Easier to fix a broken bone than something like this." Jase nodded while thinking about it. "Are you taking a time out after this, go home with us?"

"Damn right I am. I want to see my children." Saya smiled at him.

Jase nodded, agreeing to this more than he thought he would. "Looking forward to it too." And yet he was torn, between finishing this project and staying at Jeff's side. "How's it going down there?"

"I'm hoping we can leave tomorrow - if Edi can convince that baby to help us and close the portal."

"I trust Edi. She's come a long way. If anyone can do this right, it's her. Do we need to take refugees back to earth with us?" Silently he was wondering about Elaine, Dan and Hilary too.

"We'll take a few with us. I doubt Hilary will want to leave Joker's side. And since she and Dan seemed to have... hooked up... I have a feeling he'll come as well."

'Hooked up,' Jase thought, stomaching this and cursing himself for actually feeling hurt by these news. He had no right to feel hurt, but the sting was there.

"Yeah. Alright. What about Elaine."

Saya hesitated a bit. After all this was the woman who had nearly turned her husband into a husk.

"She can choose her own path."

"Good," Jase said with a hard voice. The woman was like a red rag to him. "I don't want her at our home."

"That's going to have to be up to Kaidan and Dan. Most especially Kaidan since... since she..." Saya closed her eyes and let a tear slide down her cheek.

Jase nearly growled out he didn't want to have her anywhere close by. Instead he swallowed down his anger and hate, focusing on his sister instead.

"Saya, how's Kaidan?"

"I honestly can only go by what he tells me and he says he's fine. Other than the new strength he has. He accidentally broke a datapad."

"A datapad huh. And what are you thinking?" Jase asked, watching her.

Irimsaya bit her lip and watched Jase.

"I'm worried to be honest. He doesn't mean to do it but it's happening. I'm trying to help him control it - especially after he accidentally bruised me."

"Ouch," Jase nodded. Kaidan and hurting his wife was too alien for the man. "Elaine messed up a lot. A lot." Jase sighed, trying not to think of the many ways he'd use to murder the woman. "Well. Let's get our family home."

"I honestly can't wait to set foot in the house again." Saya sighed softly. "Edi - see about convincing that baby to shut off the damned portal."

"We are attempting to do so now - together." Edi replied.

"Good... the sooner the better."

Jase raised his eyebrows at this. "That's fast," Jase nodded at Saya and was now curious to meet the baby AI once this was done. He brought up the omni-tool, getting the feed of the portal onto it and checked the countdown.

"Make sure everyone who needs to get through has enough time left."

"We are doing everything we can." Edi responded to him. "We need to close it soon though, Reaper presence has been detected in close range."

"Damn it. Just a matter of time then. Alright Edi. This is in your hands now."

"I will attempt to keep the portal open as long as I can... we estimate that the Reaper forces will arrive at the portal site within the hour."

Jase nodded, looking at Saya. He knew he was repeating himself. "Edi. Get as many as you can over in the time left. Then close it, we can't risk another Reaper invasion." 

Jase sighed deeply while rubbing his temples. "Easy for me to sit here in safety and not having to face the chaos on the other side. The fear and certain death of those who won't make it through."

"We can only do what we can Jase. And to be honest we've done a lot here. I mean a few weeks ago we never would have even thought this possible."

"Yeah. And a lot more," Jase agreed, knowing no matter how much he did, he always felt as if he hadn't done enough. "I still want to create a baby with Jeff. Even with all these people living here now. I still want to do this."

"You still have to find a surrogate womb, Jase. Any ideas who you'll ask?"

Jase chuckled softly and shook his head. "No." He and females didn't really agree with each other and those he knew he couldn't ask. Like Saya. Even Miranda was not someone he would consider asking.

"If I did an advertisement I'm sure too many would show up at our door. Not a good idea," Jase laughed softly again, shaking his head.

"I know I can't help you now... but Jase you can ask me, that is if you want."

Jase was staring at her for a while, considering this and knew it was his most favourite option. If Jeff agreed to it as well. Practically the same person, just female. Close to him, Jeff and the family, someone they cared about and loved even. If Kaidan would be okay with this too, it would be the best option. If his sister could handle it and wouldn't be too much of a strain as well.

"Yes," he nodded, "you'd be perfect."

A smile lit her face and she gently kissed her brother's cheek.

"It's the least I can do. I'll talk it over with Kaidan but I don't see why he would object."

"The least you can do huh," Jase smiled at her. "I was there the last time. That's not an easy task."

Putting a protective hand over her belly, Saya nodded slowly.

"Don't give me twins and we'll be fine." She laughed.

Jase chuckled. "Nah. We'll be mixing a healthy baby with Jeff's piloting skills and humor, together with my good looks and combat training..."

"Oh good lord I'm going to be bruised from the inside out." Saya giggled.

Which made Jase laugh harder and he had to stifle it for Jeff's sake. Jase squeezed her shoulder gently. "One baby and healthy is all we want."

"I'll talk to Kaidan." She put her hand over his gently. "But you'll have to wait for your current niece or nephew to make their appearance."

"Not a problem. Take care of this one first." Jase pointed at her belly with a smile. Then he noted the time, knowing they were sacrificing many for the survivors and the peaceful galaxy here. 

"Edi, what's the status."

"80% of survivors are through. We have 20 minutes left. Reaper forces are closing in." Edi answered.

"Shut everything down a minute before they reach it," Jase ordered and looked at Saya. "Edi, can you destroy any knowledge and the portal itself on the other side after it has been closed?"

"I am sorry, Commander. There is nothing that can be done regarding the knowledge."

"What about the portal," Jase answered, knowing she hadn't mentioned it. "Will they be able to reactivate it?"

"Yes. In time." Edi said. 

Saya closed her eyes and felt her heart sink.

"Edi. There has to be a way to close it permanently. If we have to destroy the whole base on the other side, we need to do it." Jase rubbed his eyes, wondering what they could do in case something came through and how destroy it right away. There was the nagging thought, knowing he was forgetting something here. 

"I know of no way, Commander."

"What if we destroy the portal on this side? They won't be able to come through this one. God damn it. I know Elaine said something about her friend going through last. I don't remember what it was," he confessed and stood up, walking around for a minute to remember the conversation. Then he finally remembered.

"She's got a friend coming through. He'll activate the self destruct on the other side before entering the portal. Edi, get in touch with Elaine, coordinate the correct timing with her."

"I will do so immediately, Commander." And with that their AI went silent.

Saya watched Jase.

"Now we just pray there's time enough for that."

"Yeah. Let's hope my forgetting about Elaine's friend doesn't cost us this galaxy." Jase grumbled, annoyed with himself.

Irimsaya shook her head.

"It won't. I have faith in that."

Jase nodded with a deep sigh and scratched his head before he checked the time. "15 minutes." Jase brought up the cam feeds from around the portal and had a few of them playing on his omni-tool. He stood at Saya's side so they could watch it together.

"It's crazy down there," he commented.

"It just proves everyone knows what's at stake."

Jase nodded, eyes focusing on the feeds and watched silently the many people rushing back and forth, working hard on the consoles and he knew they were given orders too. At one moment he could have sworn there had been Hilary dashing across one of the feeds and yes, not much longer and he saw her again. Jase had to smile a little when he saw her. While he hadn't had much of a chance to talk to her, he was glad she was now back in Jeff's life. Yet Hilary and Dan being together was still some kind of a blow to him, but Jase knew he had to let it go. With a soft sigh he moved on to the next feed.

On the other feed Elaine was visible, busily typing away at her console. Jase thought she always seemed to be so full of herself and only cared about her business. He even was sure she was cold hearted and.. No. Thinking about her wasn't doing him anything good, it only fueled his hatred towards her. Moving on to the next person standing close to her, he saw it was Liara who was directing the people who were still arriving. 

"Looks like Liara and Elaine are able to work together, after all."

More and more security personal became visible on the feeds and the arriving survivors became less as they were quickly ushered out of the room.

"Five minutes," Jase said softly.

"We did our best Jase, they know that."

"Yeah," he agreed softly and laid his arm a bit around Saya's shoulder. "Yeah, we did. Especially you. That's your work sis," Jase told her, not taking his eyes off the feeds. 

The influx of refugees coming through became less and those who came through held guns in their hands. Jase saw a few of them were military people, covering the portal now. For some time nothing seemed to happen and Jase was about to ask Edi if she knew if something was going on, but then ...

Then one single man came through and slowly walked up to Elaine, greeting her.

The portal began rumbling, Jase could see it from the shaking of the feeds and it seemed to become worse before it shut down and was sitting there in its dark corner as if nothing had ever happened before.

Jase looked at Saya and then just said softly, "Edi, report."

"The portal has been closed." Edi paused. "Negative Reaper threat."

"Good work Edi." Jase just said and fell silent before he sighed deeply. Part of him was relieved and eventually Jase looked at Saya. Then he shook his head a little and grinned, feeling glad for those they had rescued and that the portal was indeed closed. He drew his sister close and kissed her head.

Feeling somewhat relieved, Saya hugged him back tightly.  
  


Arlen came out of the server room yawning and rubbed his eyes. "Captain, Commander," he greeted and went directly to his patient, checking Jeff over.

"Doc," Jase greeted back and glanced at Saya before looking back at Arlen.

"How's Joker doing, Arlen?" Saya asked for Jase.

Arlen's eyes were fixated on the scan while he answered. "He should be waking up soon. Pleased to report the healing process is going as expected." 

Arlen paused and glanced at them, explaining, "His bones are healing as good as they can for someone in his condition. I have adjusted his medication and painkillers." 

Arlen just thought they were really lucky with their advanced medicine tech. Stuffing the man into so many casts would not have been fun nor easy.

"Doc?" Jase spoke up, wanting to ask something else.

"Commander?" Arlen turned fully around, watching the siblings.

"I want to take him home. How soon can I do this."

"Oh. Let me know when and I'll see to the transport myself, as long as it doesn't involve bumpy shuttle rides he should be fine. Your husband still needs a lot of medical treatment though once he is at home and later on therapy, of course." Arlen told them.

"We got a doctor at home," Jase replied, "Dr. Chakwas. She's familiar with Jeff's condition."

Arlen just nodded, realizing this also probably meant the Commander and his husband were leaving the Normandy for some time, at least. He had grown used to them and the thought of them leaving was something new and a very weird feeling.

"A transport won't be needed. I think the crew of the Normandy has earned a little R and R." Saya smiled at that. "We'll leave this planet tomorrow."

Jase glanced at Saya, having a small grin on his face.

"We do?" Arlen smiled then and nodded, knowing after everything he could do with a break. "Thank you Captain."

Saya bowed her head to him.

"You're welcome." She left the med-bay then, feeling the need to find the bathroom.

Jase nodded at the other young man, "Well Doc, looks like you get some free time soon." 

"Yes, I'm looking forward to it sir," Arlen replied, wondering if the Captain was alright or not. But he shrugged it off and busied himself. If they were going to have some free days, he needed to have the med-bay in order.

Jase moved and sat down at Jeff's bed once again. Doc was busy and Jase knew he had to do the same and began working from the med-bay. There was a lot to take care of, including many calls, updates to Anderson and even a chat with Elaine, as well as organizing who they would take with them back to earth.  
  


Meanwhile Saya leaned against the shower stall in the nearest washroom feeling very unwell.

Kaidan came out of his shower and got dressed, having found the note. Now he just had to find his wife. "Edi, where is my wife, do you know?"

She is currently in the female restroom on the med bay level, Commander." Edi answered.

"Thank you Edi, I'll go to her," Kaidan replied and closed the drawer. 

With too much power. 

Kaidan winced and looked at it in the hope the rattling wouldn't break anything. He felt like back at the camp when he had to train his biotics and did something wrong. It certainly made him question if he should touch his babies or not.

Quickly putting on his shirt, Kaidan left their quarters and carefully tipped the panel of the elevator to get to Saya.

Groaning quietly, Saya left the restroom to see Kaidan step off the elevator.

"Edi..." She growled softly.

Kaidan turned around and saw her, smiling instantly. "Saya? Hey... you look," he frowned and reached out to brush her hair out of her face, "not good. What happened? Sickness?"

She closed her eyes at his touch and sighed softly.

"Yeah. Thankfully not as bad as with the twins."

Kaidan smiled a little and nodded. "Well, maybe it makes a difference to carry only one."

Snorting a bit, Saya hugged him gently.

"Tomorrow we take the Normandy back to Earth for some well-deserved R and R."

Kaidan looked really relieved for a few seconds and smiled then even more. "I can't wait to be back home Saya."

"Neither can I." She said while stifling a yawn.

"Hey," Kaidan looked at her again. "You look tired, do you want to get a nap? I can take over for you."

"Mmmm.... I wouldn't say no sweetie, I really wouldn't. You sure you don't mind?"

"Of course I don't, Saya. You need some sleep and I'll cover for you."

Smiling, Saya kissed him gently.

"You're the best husband ever."

Kaidan chuckled softly and sighed, enjoying the kiss. "You're the best wife ever."

"Mmmm if we keep this up I'll never get to bed..."

Kaidan knew she was right and he grinned at her. "Orders, Captain?" Kaidan gently teased her.

"Get the crew ready to leave for first thing in the morning. Kaidan I have to ask - do you want Elaine to come with us?"

That sent Kaidan kind of reeling for a moment and he couldn't answer right away. He knew he wanted to start fresh with her again and get over their difficulties and what she had done to him.

"I don't really know Saya. I would like to start again with her, fresh and forget what she did. And if she has changed, maybe one day I can tell my parents that their daughter is back. I mean, that's my hope. Being able to let my parents know they not just have another son, but their daughter is alive. I certainly won't force her to come with us, but I'd offer it to her and see what she thinks about it."

Saya put a hand on his shoulder.

"Then you have my blessing to give her the offer."

"Thanks, Saya. I'll talk to her later and see what she would like to do."

Saya stole another kiss from him then headed back to their quarters for some rest.

With a soft but happy sigh Kaidan went and got to work.  
  


Several hours later Kaidan's stomach rumbled and he went to get himself something to eat and drink. He groaned softly when the light from the room suddenly became to bright for his likes and sent a sharp pain into his head. A migraine was the last thing he needed right now.

"Not now," he muttered to himself, still having to finish several things, including going down to his sister. Hunger suddenly gone, he stood up and packed up the rest of his food, finding it too bad to toss it away, and put it into the fridge with his name scribbled onto it. Then he left to meet with Elaine in New Omega.

Elaine was busy talking to her friend who had finally arrived when Kaidan entered her office.

"Oh... Kaidan. Hi. What can I do for you?"

Kaidan went and greeted the friend before he focused back on Elaine. "We're leaving for Earth tomorrow. I wanted to offer you to come with us."

Elaine watched him thoughtfully for a minute.

"Alright... I'd like to see your Earth."

"Is there anything you would like to take with you?" Kaidan asked her.

"Not really. Just a small case of supplies and Ian here."

Kaidan nodded, not really sure what else he could say. "Then.. welcome aboard the Normandy. Comms me once you're finished down here and I'll show you where you can stay for the time of travel."

"Thank you. We'll be on board I would say in about an hour or two if that's alright?"

"It should be," Kaidan nodded at her once again and left to find Liara. Kaidan noticed the place was getting less crowded with every minute. 

Hilary rushed past him and apologized quickly before she entered Elaine's office, making last efforts to have the portal secured and ready to be disassembled.

Elaine glanced at Hilary.

"Hilary? How are we doing?"

Hilary looked at her. "Mrs Gemla, I'm doing fine, thank you. We can disassemble the portal and take it with us. If that is your wish of course. Truth be told I wouldn't advise leaving so much advanced and expensive tech laying around here in batarian space."

"Then we take it with us. Can you have it ready for shipment to the Normandy in 2 hours?"

"Yes, if a few more people would help me with it," Hilary nodded.

"Ian can help you now. Ask whoever else you might need."

Hilary glanced at Ian and nodded her thanks then. "Thank you. We might better get to work right away, time is running," she smiled a little and began working.

Ian nodded to her and went with her.

"Just show me what to do."

"Sure, follow me big guy," Hilary grinned and they began working.

Elaine watched them go, her eyes narrowed in thought.

Hilary was working quickly, not taking any short breaks and made sure the people helping her were doing it right. She didn't even realize the time but was surprised when their team had really managed to break it down into pieces and to put it into transport boxes in the given time frame.

"Phew....," Hilary adjusted her hair, making sure the red strands weren't falling into her face once again and went to Elaine. "Mrs. Gemla? The portal has been packed into transport boxes and catalogued." She handed her the datapad for the numbered crates.

"Well done, Miss Moreau. Now let's get on board the Normandy, shall we?"

"Thank you ma'am," Hilary smiled at her, wondering why she actually kind of liked this woman now. "Would you like me to oversee the transport of the crates?"

Watching her, Elaine nodded.

"I trust you. Do it."

"Yes ma'am," Hilary quickly answered and saw to it. She couldn't wait to get back to Dan.  
  


Dan, meanwhile, was watching everything on his monitors and was deep in thought.  
  


Hilary sighed softly to herself when every single crate was stored away on the Normandy and secured for their trip back to earth. Glancing over at Elaine and Ian, she wondered where Elaine would create a new base, if she was going to do this. Basically Cerberus had no funds left in this world and they would have to start from scratch. The sound and rumble she felt below her feet told her the Normandy was just taking off and for a second she thought her brother was flying this nice ship. But then she remembered and her face fell. Joker was still in med-bay. Now was a really good time to visit her brother before going back to Dan.

"Mrs. Gemla? As everything is secured and stored, if you don't mind I'd like to go and visit my brother. He is currently in med-bay."

Elaine watched her for a moment before nodding slowly.

"Go on then."

"Thank you," Hilary said and hurried off to med-bay.

Joker was grumbling to himself as he lied there staring at the ceiling.

Hilary's face lit up in a smile when she saw he was awake. "Oh look who's woken up!"

"Yeah, sleeping beauty is awake," Jase grinned a bit at her and then leaned down to give Jeff a quick kiss. "Gonna get a shower," he whispered.

Hilary watched them, having a grin on her face.

"Mmmmk... love you." Joker smiled at his mate.

"Love you too," Jase smiled back at him and then he left the siblings alone for their chat.

"Aw you two are too cute," Hilary grinned and took over the chair from Jase. "How's my favourite brother feeling?"

"Besides hating being in the med bay with not a whole heck of a lot to do with nearly every bone in my body broken?"

"Yes, besides all of the problems you just mentioned," Hilary smiled at him with a soft sigh. "You are so the same person like my other Joker. So very much the same."

"Well now you can call me your Joker. Cause as far as I'm concerned you're my Hilary."

Hilary smiled at him and nodded. "I would hug you if you weren't in pain. You're my brother, there's no doubting for me. Well, how are you?"

"Hilary... sorry... but that's really a silly question...."

Hilary rolled her eyes a little with a sigh. She fell silent then and rested her chin on her hand, watching Jeff. "At least you and Jase are fine. I packed up the portal and stored it away in the Normandy's cargo hold."

"Good... at least you were able to dismantle it."

"Yes, I am _that_ good," Hilary answered. Joker was already incredibly grumpy, she wondered how he would be doing once he was at home. "How can I entertain you?"

Joker sighed softly and looked at her.

"I wish I knew, Hilary. I wish I knew."

"I could get you vids to watch," she offered with a smile, not telling him when she was little, she used to read books to him when he was hurt.

"Nah... there's not that many good vids anymore. If I could use my arms I wouldn't mind something to read.."

"Welll.... I could read something if you tell me what you'd like," Hilary offered, playing with one of her curls.

Joker raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"You'd read to me?"

"Yes," she nodded. "Of course I would. Before you left for the Alliance, every time you were hurt or in hospital I was reading to you."

"Well uh... wow... okay then. I wouldn't say no to it. I don't think I've ever had someone read to me before."

Hilary grinned at him and pulled up her omni-tool to dig through the many books and even comics she had kept from her other brother. She selected one and began reading to him. She felt very comfortable doing this and was so engrossed in the story herself, that she didn't notice the time or anything else. Just occasionally she was glancing at her brother.

Joker watched her as she read, enjoying the cadence of her voice and the way the words came from her mouth. It was an experience he hoped they could repeat some time.

Hilary blinked at some point, feeling so incredibly lucky she could do this again. Of course it wasn't good for her brother lying in a bed again and being in pain, she knew this.  
  


Meanwhile, Jase had gotten his shower and had been talking with Admiral Anderson before he left to get back to med-bay. Seeing that Hilary was still there and even reading a story to Jeff, Jase decided to go and cook something, including fixing up a few sandwiches just to keep himself busy. From time to time he looked into med-bay, watching Hilary. It caused him to grin, while doing some small talk with Darian. Jase figured Darian knew that he knew, but Jase didn't say a thing about it to him. Jeff was more important.

Hilary coughed softly to get the lump out of her throat and then she giggled. The story was too funny at times. She looked at her brother. "To be honest, I like stories best which end with, 'And they lived happily ever after.' It's so heart warming."

"Yeah - too bad that's not real life a little more often huh?"

"Oh yes. There are too many bad things happening in the galaxy already, including terrible drama. When I am reading a story I want to have something good and nice, something that warms my heart and makes me happy." 

Hilary smiled then and this time she carefully kissed her brother's hair, noting the familiar scent from him.

"However, I am very glad to have my own happy end right now, being here with you and reading for you, this makes me... well, very very happy."

Joker let out a small sigh when she kissed his hair.

"You have no idea just how glad I am to have you here."

Hilary didn't know what to say first but then she nodded, agreeing with her brother. "Yes, and I can even see it. You are smiling," she grinned.

"I'm just glad to have reason to smile to be honest." Joker slowly admitted.

Hilary nodded slowly but frowned a very little and was wondering, aside of the accident, what exactly made his life hard. "Aren't you and Jase fine now?"

"I think so... as far as I can tell anyway. Why do you ask?"

Hilary shrugged a little and smiled then. "I only wanted to hear it from you. I think I have to brighten your days more often from now on."

Joker watched her then smiled a little again.

"I would like that very much."

Hilary nodded and carefully caressed his cheek a little with a smile. Then she stood up. 

"Jeffy, call me if you want to be entertained, okay? I am in terrible need of a shower and a bit of sleep, now that we finally have finished our mission and... we can live in peace..." Hilary trailed off, looking thoughtful.

Part of her knew she would have a lot to think about once she had some free time and was seeing this Earth and the home.

"You got it, Hilary. Go get some rest."

Joker was rewarded with another kiss from her and then she left, waving at him quickly from the door with another smile of hers for her brother. When she turned around she nearly bumped into Jase.

"Oh! Hello Jase," she smiled.

"Hilary," Jase greeted her, carrying food for Jeff including a thermos filled up with tea. "You alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine, thank you. I'll .. just be going...," she laughed nervously and walked back to Dan's quarter.

Jase grinned a little and shook his head when she took off. The door to med-bay opened and Jase returned to Jeff.  
  


Dan looked up from what he was doing when his door opened.

"Hilary." He smiled at her in greeting. "Welcome back."

Hilary couldn't help herself. The smile on her face became even bigger when she quickly walked to him and just wrapped her arms around Dan, hugging him tightly.

"Dan, I really really missed you."

Dan chuckled softly and held her close.

"Missed you too. How'd it go?"

"Well, we have the portal packed up and stored away," she told him and cuddled close, closing her eyes. "How was your day? I heard about Liara T'Soni paying you a visit?"

"Mmmh yes she did. She seems to think it's a good idea for both of us to be the Broker."

"I'm glad for you, you are a very good broker, if not the best," Hilary giggled softly while rubbing her cheek along his chest. "And now? What are you doing now?"

"Apparently I'm holding a very giggly scientist..."

That sent Hilary into more giggles. "A very tired giggly scientist. Does it bother you?"

"Not at all. I like your laugh."

Hilary looked up at him with a smile and sighed in content. "How long does it take us to get to Earth? Do you know Kaidan?"

"Mmmh... I'm not 100% sure Hil. We could always ask if you want."

Hilary smiled a little. She cuddled some more with him and thought they should have enough time then for a shower. "Kaidan? Would you like to take a shower with me?"

Smiling to himself, Dan kissed the top of her head gently.

"Do you really think I would say no?"

Hilary smiled and slowly let go of him. 

"You are so comfortable," she sighed softly, "I could fall asleep on you." 

She eyed the little footlocker she owned, all her meager belongings were stored inside and she slowly let go of him to get a batch of fresh clothes to wear after their shower.

"Shall we go then?"

"Absolutely my dear. Lead the way."

Hilary smiled and lead the way.

Kaidan just left the elevator and was on his way to get his wife some food running into the two of them. When he saw his other self he smiled. "Ah, the other me. How are you two, do you need anything?"

Dan nodded to him in greeting.

"Actually - do you know how long it will take us to reach Earth?"

"Actually, about a day," Kaidan answered. "Once there we'll hand the assassin over to the Alliance and everyone who has received their ID's are free to go wherever they would like to. Have you received the help file from the Alliance? They put together lists with addresses and other important information for our, well, reality travelers."

It still felt a bit odd talking to himself like this.

"Thank you Commander." Dan said.

Kaidan knew he just had been dismissed. As much as he would like to talk more to his other self he knew he only could if Captain Alenko wanted it too. Right now it looked like he didn't. 

"You are welcome, Captain Alenko. Just remember to ask if you need anything. Hilary," Kaidan nodded at her and went to get Saya some food.

Hilary glanced at her Dan and hooked her arm under his, leading him finally the shower room. Once inside she locked the door and drew him down for a kiss.  
  


Smiling as she turned from her desk upon hearing the door open, Saya greeted her husband.

"I smell food."

Kaidan grinned at her and carefully moved the datapads lying there away to place down the food.

"I hope it tastes as good as it smells," he said and gave her cheek a quick kiss. "You have been working, how are my two favourite people right now?" 

Kaidan laid his hand onto her stomach, already wishing he could feel the baby moving around.

"We're okay I think." She was smiling at the hand on her stomach. "Just hungry as far as I can tell."

Kaidan nodded and gave her a peck on the lips. "Then I won't hold you up any longer." Kaidan then moved downstairs and removed his shirt to put on a fresh one. 

"I saw Hilary and Dan."

"How are they?" Saya asked as she started eating. Truly she hadn't realized just how hungry she was.

Kaidan smiled gently to himself when he saw Saya eating. He knew it tasted good as he had kind of stolen a few bites from it already.

"Adjusting to their new lives. If I wouldn't know myself any better I wouldn't understand Dan at all. But he is keeping to himself and everyone away at arm's length. Not counting Hilary by the way. Have I ever been like this?"

Saya stopped eating and looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"You're seriously asking? Sweetie... you used to be like that all the time."

"Oh, hehe," Kaidan scratched his head, smiling sheepishly. "I guess I have changed a lot then. Anyway, Dan reminds me a bit of Jase when he came over. At least all these people aren't being abandoned in this unusual situation either." 

Kaidan paused and put on the fresh shirt, walked up to her and leaned onto the desk.

"I don't think Jase ever got fully used to living over here. He was trying of course, trying to adapt. Until a few weeks ago I never really heard him referring to this world as 'home'. Now he does all the time."

"I think Joker cinched it for him. I mean to call this place home. It always helps when you fall in love."

Kaidan nodded and smiled down at her. Certainly. "Yes, falling in love does change people and more. Before I forget about it, I called home and let them know when we will arrive, including the guests coming with us. Miranda actually suggested to add a few bedrooms to the attic."

"That's actually a great idea. Trust Miranda to always think ahead."

Kaidan smiled at this and nodded, not telling her right away that Elaine was coming with them too. Now that everything so far had been taken care of and just a few reports were left, Kaidan fell silent, watching his wife.

"Tell me what's on your mind Kaidan." Saya met his eyes as she went back to eating.

Kaidan took his time to answer, wanting to let her eat.

"Actually not much right now. I'm just trying to... think. I don't know." Kaidan concluded softly.

All too soon the food was gone and Saya gave the plate an accusatory glare.

"It doesn't hold enough... remind me to requisition bigger plates..."

"I can go and get you a refill Saya," Kaidan offered.

"Maybe later, but thanks for the offer. As it is these pants barely fit now..." She sniffed.

Kaidan looked down at her belly, barely noting any change aside of it looking a bit different. 

"It's good we are going home. While we might not have any summer weather, it shouldn't be too cold at least allowing you to wear more comfortable clothes. Unless of course we decide to go and visit my parents."

"Kaidan... it's Hawaii... It's always summer..."

Kaidan chuckled softly and nodded, not going to argue with her about any kind of weather as it would be too silly. He stepped closer and laid his arm around her shoulder, caressing her gently.

"You're right. Maybe in a year I can teach the twins how to build a snowman though when spending a few days with their grandparents."

"We shall see my love, we shall see." Saya sighed softly as he caressed her, enjoying every second of every touch.

Kaidan grinned a bit and turned her chair around so he could face her. He carefully knelt down in front of her and laid his hands onto her legs. 

"Did you know the four year anniversary of our first kiss is coming up soon?"

Raising her eyebrows a bit, Saya smiled at him.

"I didn't know you were keeping track..."

"Mmh," Kaidan shrugged a little with a grin. "It was an eventful day. A good day. Actually it was a _very_ good day."

Saya allowed herself a small giggle.

"That's only because you were finally able to show me how you felt."

Kaidan chuckled then softly and nodded. "Yes. I thought you were an interesting person the moment I saw you for the very first time."

"Interesting? I was *interesting*?" Saya smirked at him.

"Yeah," Kaidan said slowly as he grinned at her. "And the next second I fell in love with you."

"Can I tell you a secret? The first second I stepped into the cockpit and saw you with Joker... I knew who I wanted to be with for the rest of my life."

Kaidan smiled now and moved closer to her and took her hand into his. He knew he acted sooner on it because Jase had shown up, but Kaidan couldn't really explain why as he only remembered the sudden jealousy he felt when he thought Jase had been a former lover of hers. Learning about this secret of hers was intriguing.

"For the rest of your life. Our lives. Yes," Kaidan smiled. "Thanks for telling me about this secret. And by tomorrow, we'll be with our babies again."

"And I honestly can't wait until we get there. I can't wait to hold them again."

Kaidan now drew her closer and gave her a gentle hug. "I love you," he whispered and sighed in content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with this we have finished Batarian Fire.


End file.
